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Helping You to Identify and Understand Autism Masking: The Truth Behind the Mask
You’ve heard of autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) but have you ever heard of autism masking? If so, what does the term autism masking mean to you?Your response will undoubtedly be influenced by important factors such you autistic?Do you support or care for somebody diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder?Are you an expert when it comes to understanding ASDs and supporting autistic people?Do you or a family member have a recent ASD diagnosis?Or, do you simply have an interest in learning all about ASDs?Whatever your situation is, when it comes to understanding ASDs there will always be something new to learn. That’s because autism spectrum disorders are complex and unique to each and every individual. Emma Kendall is diagnosed autistic, and holds a first-class degree in Special Education. In addition to this, her qualifications include Counselling, Communication and Personal Skills.Whilst at university, Emma studied and researched the social behaviour which is commonly referred to as autism masking or camouflaging. This required her to interact with and question autistic people to gain a clear understanding of this diverse topic.Emma shares her unique insights and personal experiences describing what autism masking is. She also reveals the intriguing motives for the use of this behaviour. Explaining how autistic people do this and why, and to what extent the mask is relied upon, as well as, uncovering fascinating details concerning the after effects and the long-term impact of autism masking.Other books by Emma Perfectly Post Diagnostic Support for Parents of ASD children.Autistic How to Prepare for an Autism Friendly Christmas.The Adele Fox Book 1 - Making Sense of LoveBook 2 - A Different Kind of LoveBook 3 - Memories Full of LoveFind this author on Facebook at Emma Kendall Author.
94 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 28, 2020
191 people are currently reading
358 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
March 23, 2021
A quick, but personal and informative read about how and why people on the Autistic Spectrum mask their behaviour.
I have been looking into why my son acts one way with us at home, and then completely different at school, and this book helped a lot. I highlighted the crap out of this! I feel that with a little more information, and tips, I will soon be able to approach my son's school again, in order to help support his needs.
I hate that he is covering up and supressing part of himself just to fit in, and that because he does it so well, no one outside of the family and his close friends has picked up on it. Whereas at home he stims a lot, has meltdowns about sensory issues, and needs time alone after school to decompress, at school he does well academically, is well behaved and has friends, so flies under the radar.
This book likens the exhaustion of masking Autistic characteristics, to wearing a heavy cloak all day, and it must be so exhausting! The effort it must take to keep that mask up all day until you get home! Let alone all the adults who have done it their whole life, either consciously or subconsciously.
It also makes clear how damaging masking is, as it has long term mental health ramifications.
Thank you Emma, for sharing your story, so that you can help others not to feel so alone. I would like a bit more advice, but this was a great start, and I will now go on to learn more about masking, and how to encourage my son to be himself.
I have been looking into why my son acts one way with us at home, and then completely different at school, and this book helped a lot. I highlighted the crap out of this! I feel that with a little more information, and tips, I will soon be able to approach my son's school again, in order to help support his needs.
I hate that he is covering up and supressing part of himself just to fit in, and that because he does it so well, no one outside of the family and his close friends has picked up on it. Whereas at home he stims a lot, has meltdowns about sensory issues, and needs time alone after school to decompress, at school he does well academically, is well behaved and has friends, so flies under the radar.
This book likens the exhaustion of masking Autistic characteristics, to wearing a heavy cloak all day, and it must be so exhausting! The effort it must take to keep that mask up all day until you get home! Let alone all the adults who have done it their whole life, either consciously or subconsciously.
It also makes clear how damaging masking is, as it has long term mental health ramifications.
Thank you Emma, for sharing your story, so that you can help others not to feel so alone. I would like a bit more advice, but this was a great start, and I will now go on to learn more about masking, and how to encourage my son to be himself.
December 27, 2023
If you or someone you love is on the Autism Spectrum, definitely check this book out. I was diagnosed at the age of 36, mainly due to my ability to “mask”. This book really speaks to how and why we mask.
April 12, 2022
I don’t normally write reviews, I normally give my stars and then I’m off to the next one.
But this book really helped me, I’m currently waiting for an ASD assessment and I’ve always thought of myself as being weird. My counsellor was the one who told me about this book after she took one look at me and asked if anyone had ever asked me if I was autistic.
This book makes me see that I’m not weird, I’m just wired differently. And it’s really nice to see that others are like that too.
But this book really helped me, I’m currently waiting for an ASD assessment and I’ve always thought of myself as being weird. My counsellor was the one who told me about this book after she took one look at me and asked if anyone had ever asked me if I was autistic.
This book makes me see that I’m not weird, I’m just wired differently. And it’s really nice to see that others are like that too.
September 6, 2022
This was a brief read on autism masking - what it is and how it can play out for those with autism. It did a decent job of explaining how masking can appear to those who may know someone with autism and why someone who is masking can appear to have two different personalities at times. It also did a good job of explaining the toll masking can take on someone who is doing it regularly. There is also a chapter at the end that details the author's own experiences with autism and masking. I was hoping for some more research and information on how to identify masking, personally, but this was a decent basic intro to it.
June 28, 2021
I feel attacked lol
February 22, 2022
Helpful and interesting
This was very educational.
Masking is clearly a complex and overlooked behaviour.
The writing is good. I think I understand it better now.
This was very educational.
Masking is clearly a complex and overlooked behaviour.
The writing is good. I think I understand it better now.
April 13, 2024
This is a great book highlighting what it’s like to mask with autism. I’m trying to educate myself more on autism and this has been highly informative.
A very quick read with lots of insights.
A very quick read with lots of insights.
April 30, 2023
A wonderful resource from a woman who “gets it”! Even though this was made for a UK audience it still works here in the US. A must read!
October 20, 2021
Wow this book was super revealing to me. I kind of knew what to expect but didn't expect so many of the situations Emma describes to be quite so relatable.
Helping You to Identify and Understand Autism Masking: The Truth Behind the Mask is a short but informative book about what masking is, why autistic people do it, examples of when someone might do it, real life experiences of it and research. I particularly enjoy books like this that pull in personal experience which is why Emma did such a great job with this one.
Emma describes moving jobs a lot and coming to the conclusion that the common denominator in why she was struggling with each one being social interaction. She describes using scripts to get by which is something I lean on quite a lot. She recounts an occasion where someone asks her out in school and she doesn't know if they're being serious or joking (this defo happened to me). Also going bright red when having communication difficulties? Check.
Anyway, the only thing I wish about this book was that it had more people's experiences in it!
Helping You to Identify and Understand Autism Masking: The Truth Behind the Mask is a short but informative book about what masking is, why autistic people do it, examples of when someone might do it, real life experiences of it and research. I particularly enjoy books like this that pull in personal experience which is why Emma did such a great job with this one.
Emma describes moving jobs a lot and coming to the conclusion that the common denominator in why she was struggling with each one being social interaction. She describes using scripts to get by which is something I lean on quite a lot. She recounts an occasion where someone asks her out in school and she doesn't know if they're being serious or joking (this defo happened to me). Also going bright red when having communication difficulties? Check.
Anyway, the only thing I wish about this book was that it had more people's experiences in it!
October 12, 2021
This book really helped me to see how masking, a concept I had never heard of but always recognized in myself, has impacted my life. I appreciated the author's use of personal experiences, as many of them were things I could instantly relate to. I also really appreciated the history lesson of autism and it's varying forms of diagnosis and misdiagnosis. I am not diagnosed, but after reading this book, there is no longer any question in my mind that I am autistic. I hope to utilize this book both for myself and for my children, so that they can learn to love themselves the way they are, and maybe I can finally learn who I really am and learn to love the real me.
March 28, 2021
Can't think of a title
Just read the book in an hour, not been diagnosed officially but I was reading my own life story within this book.
I've known I was masking for years and felt awful that I'd lie about life to make it better for me to fit in, reading the book has explained why I do this. And yes I'm extremely lonely for 50 years but feel like I'm actually not alone anymore!
I'll look forward to reading the other books
Just read the book in an hour, not been diagnosed officially but I was reading my own life story within this book.
I've known I was masking for years and felt awful that I'd lie about life to make it better for me to fit in, reading the book has explained why I do this. And yes I'm extremely lonely for 50 years but feel like I'm actually not alone anymore!
I'll look forward to reading the other books
June 2, 2022
WOW!! This was soooooo EYE OPENING! I feel as though I wrote this book!
Written so smoothly, felt as though I was sitting down with a friend and her just talking to me over some coffee. :) Def recommend if you suspect you are on the spectrum or have a loved one that is.
TYSM to the author for such an inspirational read! :)
Written so smoothly, felt as though I was sitting down with a friend and her just talking to me over some coffee. :) Def recommend if you suspect you are on the spectrum or have a loved one that is.
TYSM to the author for such an inspirational read! :)
June 18, 2022
What I Needed
As a newly diagnosed autistic and ADHD adult, I've been coming to terms with unmasking. But it's so hard to put into words or to describe, and this book has given me the ability to do that.
As a newly diagnosed autistic and ADHD adult, I've been coming to terms with unmasking. But it's so hard to put into words or to describe, and this book has given me the ability to do that.
November 19, 2021
Interesting and helpful
It made me feel less weird and able to accept myself got who I am not who people expect me to be
It made me feel less weird and able to accept myself got who I am not who people expect me to be
July 15, 2024
Raised a few more questions than answers
September 25, 2023
This was my second reading of this. A second reading prompted by receiving a letter of acceptance onto the waiting list for ASD assessment.
I've been searching for answers as to why I am the way I am for a long time and it always felt like I was missing a key piece of the puzzle when it came to my mental health. Depression and developmental trauma, yes, but at the same time, not quite, not fully. These have never made enough sense in and of themselves. I get anxious but nothing that could be categorised as a clinical anxiety disorder, arguably c-PTSD, perhaps. But there's always been something that I could never pin down. Things about myself that I could never articulate in person to others. Things that I didn't have the right words to describe accurately enough. My ways of being that always had consequences in my family home so I learned self-restraint and self-control in public for fear of consequences. To fit in. To 'behave' the 'right' way. And I couldn't handle the likelihood of being misunderstood if I tried to share these parts of myself. Or dismissed. Or taunted. Of someone misinterpreting me because in the moment my prefrontal cortex goes offline and language, communication and verbal expression become stunted in ways that just further frustrate and shut me down. I have always felt like I've hidden aspects of myself to 'fly under the radar' of others, especially teachers, employers, and medical professionals. Playing the contextual role of 'me' depending on the people and environment that I was in at the time. I was lucky enough to be employed in a place that I could function in productively for 9 years but I still burnt out from it. Years later I'm still trying to recover from it. The masks we wear to appear 'normal'. Are they worth it?
Apologies, this is more of a 'me' monologue than a book review. It's a difficult moment when you recognise yourself in, and resonate more with books about ASD than any of the multitude of books about depression or anxiety read over a 9 year period. I see myself in Kendall's words. It still, somehow, takes me by surprise. A sign, no doubt, that I still harbour unconscious misconceptions about autism. Perhaps I am autistic, perhaps I am not. I'll find out officially in 3-4 years unless I self-determine to my own satisfaction beforehand. Regardless, this is another useful and informative book for anyone seeking to learn and understand both themselves and their fellow human beings. Especially for anyone who knows someone, or thinks they themselves might be, on the autistic spectrum.
I've been searching for answers as to why I am the way I am for a long time and it always felt like I was missing a key piece of the puzzle when it came to my mental health. Depression and developmental trauma, yes, but at the same time, not quite, not fully. These have never made enough sense in and of themselves. I get anxious but nothing that could be categorised as a clinical anxiety disorder, arguably c-PTSD, perhaps. But there's always been something that I could never pin down. Things about myself that I could never articulate in person to others. Things that I didn't have the right words to describe accurately enough. My ways of being that always had consequences in my family home so I learned self-restraint and self-control in public for fear of consequences. To fit in. To 'behave' the 'right' way. And I couldn't handle the likelihood of being misunderstood if I tried to share these parts of myself. Or dismissed. Or taunted. Of someone misinterpreting me because in the moment my prefrontal cortex goes offline and language, communication and verbal expression become stunted in ways that just further frustrate and shut me down. I have always felt like I've hidden aspects of myself to 'fly under the radar' of others, especially teachers, employers, and medical professionals. Playing the contextual role of 'me' depending on the people and environment that I was in at the time. I was lucky enough to be employed in a place that I could function in productively for 9 years but I still burnt out from it. Years later I'm still trying to recover from it. The masks we wear to appear 'normal'. Are they worth it?
Apologies, this is more of a 'me' monologue than a book review. It's a difficult moment when you recognise yourself in, and resonate more with books about ASD than any of the multitude of books about depression or anxiety read over a 9 year period. I see myself in Kendall's words. It still, somehow, takes me by surprise. A sign, no doubt, that I still harbour unconscious misconceptions about autism. Perhaps I am autistic, perhaps I am not. I'll find out officially in 3-4 years unless I self-determine to my own satisfaction beforehand. Regardless, this is another useful and informative book for anyone seeking to learn and understand both themselves and their fellow human beings. Especially for anyone who knows someone, or thinks they themselves might be, on the autistic spectrum.
September 12, 2022
Very basic. The author mentions getting a degree related to autism but this is really a personal, anecdotal account, not a professional one. If you have no knowledge at all this probably would be more helpful. It skips some parts of autism history, starting only with Kanner, and doesn’t go into depth. Not a fan of the author insisting on using Asperger’s instead of Autism when referring to traits despite acknowledging that the term is not medically used anymore and furthermore is considered harmful to/by the community for many reasons. However I do value people across the spectrum sharing their experiences, as it’s important to both help people get diagnosed and to make a wider social/medical change in assumptions and stereotypes of autism & autistic people. If you’re autistic, especially late diagnosed, there will be things you recognise here and it could be helpful in recognising how you mask with examples.
July 27, 2022
Very insightful book
This book was recommended to me to gain an understanding of autism masking.
Before I read this book I had very little knowledge about autism and none whatsoever about autism masking. This book has given me a much better understanding of both of these aspects.
It's been really good for me to understand these things in regards to my own experiences, and also a close family member. This is without formal diagnosis.
Whether autism is present in my family or not I feel that this book has given me knowledge that will help me empathise with other people regardless of whether they are formally diagnosed as autistic or not.
The author should be congratulated for bringing this little known aspect of autism to light. Thank you!
This book was recommended to me to gain an understanding of autism masking.
Before I read this book I had very little knowledge about autism and none whatsoever about autism masking. This book has given me a much better understanding of both of these aspects.
It's been really good for me to understand these things in regards to my own experiences, and also a close family member. This is without formal diagnosis.
Whether autism is present in my family or not I feel that this book has given me knowledge that will help me empathise with other people regardless of whether they are formally diagnosed as autistic or not.
The author should be congratulated for bringing this little known aspect of autism to light. Thank you!
December 19, 2022
This is a good primer on the subject of autistic masking, in which the author gives an overview of the way in which autism is diagnosed and classified, followed by a summary of what masking looks like, and its psychological effects. The author then gives their own experiences by way of example.
The book would have been helped by some notes or a bibliography, as although the contents tally with what I've read elsewhere, it would have been useful to know whether the author was drawing on personal experience or more formal sources in places. Given her academic background in the area, it is curious that she didn't choose to write a more comprehensive study, although the book is useful as it is.
The book would have been helped by some notes or a bibliography, as although the contents tally with what I've read elsewhere, it would have been useful to know whether the author was drawing on personal experience or more formal sources in places. Given her academic background in the area, it is curious that she didn't choose to write a more comprehensive study, although the book is useful as it is.
April 25, 2022
This was a tricky one for me. I wanted to learn more about autism and to understand how I can understand people in my life that are autistic. I definitely got some good information but overall, it just didn’t dig in as much as I wanted it to. I wanted more specifics on how to recognize masking behaviors so that I could offer a safe space and I just didn’t feel like there was enough info. I still walked away from this book with more info than I had but also still feel like I need to do a lot more research.
November 15, 2022
Thank you
Emma, I have just finished your book and would like to say thank you for writing it. One of my relatives has been diagnosed with Autism that's what led me to read your book. Thank you for breaking it all down so that the differences can be understood. Many thanks for sharing your experiences also I have gained some tools to help me relate with my autistic family member. Well done for finding your balance.
Emma, I have just finished your book and would like to say thank you for writing it. One of my relatives has been diagnosed with Autism that's what led me to read your book. Thank you for breaking it all down so that the differences can be understood. Many thanks for sharing your experiences also I have gained some tools to help me relate with my autistic family member. Well done for finding your balance.
May 26, 2021
Need more of this author's ideas please!
My only criticism would be the book feels too short to cover the phenomenon of masking. Easy to read and very relatable but I would like to know more about what masking looks like and the authors experiences of this both personally and professionally.
My only criticism would be the book feels too short to cover the phenomenon of masking. Easy to read and very relatable but I would like to know more about what masking looks like and the authors experiences of this both personally and professionally.
June 6, 2022
Remove the mask
So, I've been wanting to understand masking and how doing so made a massive burnout. This book is about masking. I se there are reasons for it, but it has for only started to let some aspects go. I feel like it explains a lot and inform me that I dn’t hace to stop the stiming even if I feel like I need to be normal in that regards as I was taught normal good.
So, I've been wanting to understand masking and how doing so made a massive burnout. This book is about masking. I se there are reasons for it, but it has for only started to let some aspects go. I feel like it explains a lot and inform me that I dn’t hace to stop the stiming even if I feel like I need to be normal in that regards as I was taught normal good.
March 13, 2023
I wanted more
This wasn't a bad book, I feel seen with a lot of what I read, but I thought I'd get more out of it as an autistic person. I was partway into it when I realized it was more for the benefit of people living with an autistic person. That's not to say I didn't get anything out of reading Emma's book, I just wanted more.
This wasn't a bad book, I feel seen with a lot of what I read, but I thought I'd get more out of it as an autistic person. I was partway into it when I realized it was more for the benefit of people living with an autistic person. That's not to say I didn't get anything out of reading Emma's book, I just wanted more.
June 7, 2023
I found this one more practical and useful than the other books I’ve read on autism so far. It explained masking in a way I could identify with myself and also as a parent. I could tell this was written by an autistic person, it read like it came from a place of personal experience which I appreciated.
June 27, 2023
Wow
Loved it. Brought tears to my eyes. I could relate to the book in its entirety. I, too, have found a wonderful man whom I'm due to marry. He's my life support, and I his. My only wish is that the world embraces our differences and allows us to be ourselves in all circumstances. May our light shine ✨️
Loved it. Brought tears to my eyes. I could relate to the book in its entirety. I, too, have found a wonderful man whom I'm due to marry. He's my life support, and I his. My only wish is that the world embraces our differences and allows us to be ourselves in all circumstances. May our light shine ✨️
June 27, 2023
This was so eye opening and also very calming to see how other people see the world and cope or do things to stay sane and understand the world or people around them.
This helped me so much learning and understanding why certain things bother me or why I do certain things to stay calm.
MUST READ.
This helped me so much learning and understanding why certain things bother me or why I do certain things to stay calm.
MUST READ.
September 27, 2020
Thank you so much for explaining
Over -50 and just realising why I have been different all my life. The author’s style of writing is easy to read and understand, without being condescending. Thank you, once again.
Over -50 and just realising why I have been different all my life. The author’s style of writing is easy to read and understand, without being condescending. Thank you, once again.
March 14, 2021
Helped me to understand what my daughter is going through
Anyone who is looking to understand why a loved one struggles in social situations and can't understand peoples behaviour, copies there piers to fit in
Anyone who is looking to understand why a loved one struggles in social situations and can't understand peoples behaviour, copies there piers to fit in
December 11, 2021
Simple guide to masking
Helped me understand how masking can affect someone's mental health. Easy to read and understand. Well worth the read if you are trying to connect with someone who masks.
Helped me understand how masking can affect someone's mental health. Easy to read and understand. Well worth the read if you are trying to connect with someone who masks.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews