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10 pages, Audible Audio
First published January 1, 1998
"Coming back to your native land after an absence of many years is a surprisingly unsettling business, a little like waking up from a long coma. Time, you discover, has wrought changes that leave you feeling mildly foolish and out of touch."
"Christmas tree stands are the work of the devil and they want you dead."
"In the United States, frozen cheese pizza is regulated by the Food and Drug Administration. Frozen pepperoni pizza, on the other hand, is regulated by the Department of Agriculture."


