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A Man Who is Not a Man
A Man Who Is Not A Man recounts the personal trauma of a young Xhosa initiate after a rite-of-passage circumcision goes wrong.
With frankness and courage, this powerful novel details the pain and lifelong shame this protagonist experiences as a result not only of the physical trauma, but the social ostracism from being labeled ‘a failed man.’
He decodes the mysteries of this long-standing cultural tradition and calls to account the elders for the disintegrating support systems that allow such tragic outcomes. But it is also through this life-changing experience that the protagonist is forced to find his strength and humanity, and reassess what it really means to be a man.
With frankness and courage, this powerful novel details the pain and lifelong shame this protagonist experiences as a result not only of the physical trauma, but the social ostracism from being labeled ‘a failed man.’
He decodes the mysteries of this long-standing cultural tradition and calls to account the elders for the disintegrating support systems that allow such tragic outcomes. But it is also through this life-changing experience that the protagonist is forced to find his strength and humanity, and reassess what it really means to be a man.
256 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2009
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573 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
July 13, 2013
While Mgqolozana is no doubt a talented writer, his publishers and editors have done him no favours. The work veers between a compelling narrative and a didactic treatise on a social issue, the latter often not even thinly disguised. The last third of the book should have been subjected to more rigorous editorial processes, at least to match the first, tightly organised, well-written and compelling third.
Thando Mgqolozana is a talent who deserves better editorial processes than this book has been subjected to, clearly. He is a talented writer, with a sharp eye for detail (of which he sometimes provides too many of the 'explanatory' kind, such that the text reads as if it cannot quite decide whether it is addressing insiders, as it does at times directly, or whether it is also attempting to explain a specific social practice to those unfamiliar with it), and his writing ought to be nurtured by a politically more informed editorial hand or set of editorial handlers, and also, perhaps by people who are more widely read in world literature.
This book is only one instance of the poor service new South African writers receive in the local publishing industry, dominated as it is by the remnants of "white writing", and its conjoined twin, white reading.
Thando Mgqolozana is a talent who deserves better editorial processes than this book has been subjected to, clearly. He is a talented writer, with a sharp eye for detail (of which he sometimes provides too many of the 'explanatory' kind, such that the text reads as if it cannot quite decide whether it is addressing insiders, as it does at times directly, or whether it is also attempting to explain a specific social practice to those unfamiliar with it), and his writing ought to be nurtured by a politically more informed editorial hand or set of editorial handlers, and also, perhaps by people who are more widely read in world literature.
This book is only one instance of the poor service new South African writers receive in the local publishing industry, dominated as it is by the remnants of "white writing", and its conjoined twin, white reading.
October 14, 2019
A well narrated story on a very controversial topic on traditional circumcision practiced in many parts of Africa. But the author’s focus was in the Eastern Cape where a young man lay bare of the situation in that part of the region.
I have lot of Xhosa friends and there is not a single one that I have met that does not look forward to December for “umgidi”either for her or his relative, brother or neighbour. Pity one of them passed on having planned to attend this umgidi in that year with her. Well I was going to go for meat- that is all she used to talk about meat and gifts- well reading this opened my eyes on things that happen in those mountains other than meat and gifts.
The author took us through the whole journey of the incident that left Lumkile with a deformed limb and emotional breakdown. The boy that had not lost his innocence but almost lost his limb- what identifies him a man. But like most Xhosa boys who believe they will not be men enough without going through this process in a traditional way, in the mountain, Lumkile excitedly took up the journey as well.
In his story Lumkile emphasized the negligence from elders being the main cause of such unfortunate incidents. In this case his grandfather being the one who was supposed to ensure his safety and guidance was non existent. He was left all alone in the mountain after the process of circumcision to take care of himself without proper guidance and without any attendant.
In the book he is not against his culture, he also does not want Health Department to be involved in their culture but believes that if the elders will take good care of abo “Mkhwetha” the initiates- the region will not be losing so many young men while others are left with amputated limbs/organs. He believes Heath organizations can try all they can to put new policies and all but they will fight a losing battle because most of them want to go through this journey, some even go without their parents knowledge, so elders need to take their positions and protect them.
In my own conclusion, Lumkile is a man, the pain he endured alone in the mountain and the decision he took of getting medical help when he saw he would lose his life which left him feeling like a failure makes him a decisive man to me. What I like about the author, he does not force the reader to agree with him. One has to make his own definition of a man.
May 4, 2021
Traditional male circumcision is not a new concept in Africa. When I read the synopsis of this book I was quite interested in getting to know more about the botched circumcisions and the aftermath it carries. Thando weaved a moving story with this book. The only criticism I can give this book is that I would have loved to know more about how the main character lived his last life post the circumcision gone wrong as compared to his life before. Nevertheless, I loved that this book addresses what it really means to be a man, compared to what the African culture considers manhood.
I would recommend this book. It speaks of a serious social issue but with humor and passion that will keep you reading till the end.
I would recommend this book. It speaks of a serious social issue but with humor and passion that will keep you reading till the end.
January 9, 2023
Okay, I do not have a penis. But, reading the torment of the author dealing with gangrene of the penis makes all folks (penis or not) quiver with revulsion. Mgqolozana details his rites of passage where in boys undergo a circumcision ceremony including an 8-day seclusion for healing and prostration. Manhood is securely fastened to the ability to withstand pain and adhere to customs. Integral in securing your title of Man is to never under any circumstances retreat to a hospital for treatment. Mgqolzana opens the book in a hospital bed with acute gangrene of the penis. The author is unabashed in his journey. He places blame on culture and the absence of his elders during his time of need. There's also a love story in there.
November 10, 2016
The book is significant because it tells a story from a perspective that is not listened to where this happens and perhaps that is why everyone chooses to describe it as "brave". Bravery, I think, does not acknowledge the skill and talent of the author. Mgqolozana creates characters that explore subjects other than circumcision and in doing so does not conclude for the reader when dealing with a subject that a lot of people, who are removed, have an opinion on.
February 16, 2018
Through experiences of teenage protagonist, Lumkile, the author manages to bravely broach the emotive,sensitive and taboo subject of botched circumcision.
In the prologue the main character asserts.
“You may be the type that would like to think of a person like me as someone who has shamed your sacred culture and brought it into unrescueable disrepute. You are entitled to your thought , my brother or my sister , as the case may be; misinformed and they are; judgmental as they are, they are yours. If you had been in my position, maybe you could think differently. You would know that I was caught between a rock and the hard place "
I like how the initiate is given a face, a voice. He is someone’s son, brother , friend , and lover . He has fears and aspirations.
We hear of fathers and father figures who abdicate their duties and responsibilities, yet their position is deified by virtue of being male. Simultaneously underplaying the instrumental female role.
We also get a glimpse of shortcomings within our education and health sectors.
A well narrated, free flowing read, that showcases authors knowledge and confidence with the subject matter. Mgqolozana utilises his unique way of writting that includes his trade mark phrases. In this instance "the chest people" and "the head people"
Overall a sombre but essential story on a controversial subject that is literally the death of many young boys.
In the prologue the main character asserts.
“You may be the type that would like to think of a person like me as someone who has shamed your sacred culture and brought it into unrescueable disrepute. You are entitled to your thought , my brother or my sister , as the case may be; misinformed and they are; judgmental as they are, they are yours. If you had been in my position, maybe you could think differently. You would know that I was caught between a rock and the hard place "
I like how the initiate is given a face, a voice. He is someone’s son, brother , friend , and lover . He has fears and aspirations.
We hear of fathers and father figures who abdicate their duties and responsibilities, yet their position is deified by virtue of being male. Simultaneously underplaying the instrumental female role.
We also get a glimpse of shortcomings within our education and health sectors.
A well narrated, free flowing read, that showcases authors knowledge and confidence with the subject matter. Mgqolozana utilises his unique way of writting that includes his trade mark phrases. In this instance "the chest people" and "the head people"
Overall a sombre but essential story on a controversial subject that is literally the death of many young boys.
July 3, 2021
Lumkile is an 18 year old South African native living in the Eastern Cape in 2000 when his estranged mother comes to bust up his party lifestyle. South Africa is still heavily segregated and Lumkile, along with his friends, are angry that the whites keep everything nice for themselves. He gets into drugs and petty theft, dealing with the abuse of his father and is eventually sent back to live with his mother in their natal village. Lumkile begins to turn his life around and at the end of the year, is presented for his cultural circumcision-one that goes badly, badly wrong. Now Lumkile will have to find a way to live with himself after his failed circumcision and his subsequent feelings surrounding his own masculinity. What a fascinating book. You hear so much about female genital mutilation but rarely have I heard about male genitalia mutilation. I had no idea that it was this big cultural ceremony, let alone this idea that it’s necessary to happen in order to assert your manliness. Quite frankly, this short novel is brutal in it’s telling, which made it both compelling and appalling to read about. If you’re looking for a courageous, yet terrifying account of a failed cultural circumcision, then I would absolutely recommend this book.
January 21, 2012
This would be an interesting read based on the subject matter alone, but there are also some fascinating glimpses of Xhosa life and lots of wry humor despite the serious subject. I was only a little disappointed at the resolution
November 17, 2010
This is a brilliant book that I gave to all my girl mates. The issue of male circumcision is a huge taboo within our society. What happens on the happen came into our knowledge, through A man who Is Not a man. This hilarious and sometimes heart wrenching illustration of a boy child growing up in the Eastern Cape and Cape Town captured me from the cover of the book. A brilliant, non-put-downable book!
I look forward to seeing more offerings by Thando Mqolozana.
I look forward to seeing more offerings by Thando Mqolozana.
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March 9, 2014Fascinating story.
October 17, 2021
A witty, but bluntly serious examination of South African (Xhosa?) culture and the often ambigious strictures of society's definition of "manhood".
Highly recommend.
Highly recommend.
September 11, 2022
7/10
Quite a unique and fascinating story, I admire the courage of Mgqolozana for writing this book and sharing his story. It was an interesting glimpse into when tradition/ceremonial rights of passage go wrong and are so old-fashioned that horrendous medical hazards could easily be avoided. It was infuriating that for the sake of carrying out circumcision and a specific recovery process in this archaic way is at the cost of people’s genital health and even their lives.
I LOVED the way Mgqolozana talks about the ‘head people’ and the ‘chest people’. This was such a lovely metaphor throughout the book, especially when he said “the chest people climbed up to my Adam’s apple and gathered there causing a lump” to describe when he was trying not to cry - so poetic and absolutely relatable.
It's not clear exactly how deformed/damaged Mgqolozana’s penis is in the end, I get the impression it was not seriously deformed by the end of his journey in this book but why let the truth get in the way of a good story.
A sentiment I really valued - “A physical renovation on its own wouldn’t have solved things anyway. The damage that occurred and subsequent scars that developed were not only physical. You see, there was a mental and emotional train smash that happened simultaneously and that was the most serious worry. Writing about it here, letting you know what really happened, is like using the jaws of life to save a soul that has been crushed under the wreckage of sorrow.”
The books end with him stating that he is a virgin and sharing his anxiety around if and how he will successfully have sex one day, a touching ending.
On the face of it, I thought he is no longer a man because he doesn’t have a penis anymore. It’s even more poignant that he is ‘not a man’ solely in the eyes of his culture. A difficult pill to swallow and an even harder one to publicly share.
I appreciated that the book is short whilst still telling this story in a compelling way. It could have definitely been fleshed out with more of his life story but it was good to be succinct. The book was well written and Mgqolozana’s accent really added to it. There was a perfect balance of description, emotions/feelings and in-person action. Mgqolozana seems like a genuine and inspired man. I feel for him in that backward society, also fuck his uncle and grandpa!
The South African setting was very interesting and evocative.
I would definitely recommend this to anyone as a fascinating and moving story, plus there were interesting autobiographical and African-traditions themes.
Quite a unique and fascinating story, I admire the courage of Mgqolozana for writing this book and sharing his story. It was an interesting glimpse into when tradition/ceremonial rights of passage go wrong and are so old-fashioned that horrendous medical hazards could easily be avoided. It was infuriating that for the sake of carrying out circumcision and a specific recovery process in this archaic way is at the cost of people’s genital health and even their lives.
I LOVED the way Mgqolozana talks about the ‘head people’ and the ‘chest people’. This was such a lovely metaphor throughout the book, especially when he said “the chest people climbed up to my Adam’s apple and gathered there causing a lump” to describe when he was trying not to cry - so poetic and absolutely relatable.
It's not clear exactly how deformed/damaged Mgqolozana’s penis is in the end, I get the impression it was not seriously deformed by the end of his journey in this book but why let the truth get in the way of a good story.
A sentiment I really valued - “A physical renovation on its own wouldn’t have solved things anyway. The damage that occurred and subsequent scars that developed were not only physical. You see, there was a mental and emotional train smash that happened simultaneously and that was the most serious worry. Writing about it here, letting you know what really happened, is like using the jaws of life to save a soul that has been crushed under the wreckage of sorrow.”
The books end with him stating that he is a virgin and sharing his anxiety around if and how he will successfully have sex one day, a touching ending.
On the face of it, I thought he is no longer a man because he doesn’t have a penis anymore. It’s even more poignant that he is ‘not a man’ solely in the eyes of his culture. A difficult pill to swallow and an even harder one to publicly share.
I appreciated that the book is short whilst still telling this story in a compelling way. It could have definitely been fleshed out with more of his life story but it was good to be succinct. The book was well written and Mgqolozana’s accent really added to it. There was a perfect balance of description, emotions/feelings and in-person action. Mgqolozana seems like a genuine and inspired man. I feel for him in that backward society, also fuck his uncle and grandpa!
The South African setting was very interesting and evocative.
I would definitely recommend this to anyone as a fascinating and moving story, plus there were interesting autobiographical and African-traditions themes.
July 31, 2017
As someone who leads an American study abroad program in South Africa each summer, I was very excited about this book. After all, my students learn about the importance of the Xhosa circumcision ritual, and it raises many discussions about moral relativism, cultural sensitivity and the like. Of course, there is also increasing discussion about the appropriateness of circumcision in western culture. Unfortunately, the book provided no substantive discussion about the politics surrounding the ritual, the debate surrounding it, local or global reactions, nothing. In fact, most of the book is the protagonist's childhood story of a life of crime, and his non-circumcision coming of age as a responsible man. There's simply nothing here regarding the significance of the ritual, and there's very little discussion of what actually went wrong. Sorry, but I cannot recommend.
June 26, 2023
Whew! This has been, so far in my reading journey, one of the most complex, emotionally stirring, and thought-provoking books I have read.
The book skillfully depicts the main character, his world, as well as his thoughts and emotions, along with those of the other characters. The author's lyrical yet simplistic writing style captivates the reader, immersing them in the protagonist's experience while also providing a perspective from a distance.
The weighty themes explored in this book are intricately woven into the author's own experiences and personal reflections, prompting readers to consider their own reactions in similar situations and draw parallels to their own society. It elicits a profound emotional response.
It is worth noting the way the author commences and concludes the book. The opening line, "This is the story of how I came to have an abnormal penis. So, there you have it: my genitalia is not the normal type," and the similar tone in the ending, raise questions about the author's intention. Is it a defensive gesture or a humorous attempt to address a challenging subject?
I find it fascinating that the protagonist's experiences prompt him to question societal norms while still engaging in relationships with other men. He expresses anger towards the societal constructs of manhood, yet still measures his own masculinity by those very standards instead of his own. I also wish he had shared his thoughts on the "House of the lamp" and the practice of men choosing women to sleep with based solely on their newly acquired manhood, without considering the women's consent or preferences.
In conclusion, due to the compelling topics explored and the author's engaging writing style, this book stands as a remarkable piece of literature. It left such a profound impact that I don't think I can bring myself pick this book up again.
The book skillfully depicts the main character, his world, as well as his thoughts and emotions, along with those of the other characters. The author's lyrical yet simplistic writing style captivates the reader, immersing them in the protagonist's experience while also providing a perspective from a distance.
The weighty themes explored in this book are intricately woven into the author's own experiences and personal reflections, prompting readers to consider their own reactions in similar situations and draw parallels to their own society. It elicits a profound emotional response.
It is worth noting the way the author commences and concludes the book. The opening line, "This is the story of how I came to have an abnormal penis. So, there you have it: my genitalia is not the normal type," and the similar tone in the ending, raise questions about the author's intention. Is it a defensive gesture or a humorous attempt to address a challenging subject?
I find it fascinating that the protagonist's experiences prompt him to question societal norms while still engaging in relationships with other men. He expresses anger towards the societal constructs of manhood, yet still measures his own masculinity by those very standards instead of his own. I also wish he had shared his thoughts on the "House of the lamp" and the practice of men choosing women to sleep with based solely on their newly acquired manhood, without considering the women's consent or preferences.
In conclusion, due to the compelling topics explored and the author's engaging writing style, this book stands as a remarkable piece of literature. It left such a profound impact that I don't think I can bring myself pick this book up again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 30, 2020
After such a propulsive opening, this book let me down. Even though throughout the narrative, I could pluck out important social criticisms re machismo and the toxic overbearance of the patriarchy, the prose devolved into teeny drama and overly dramatic emetics in parts. Instead of exploring the ramifications of a 'failed circumcision', the author kept the reader way too long in the aftermath of the cutting, leaving him absolutely no room to render the outcome for our MC or the needed confrontation with the elders about the conditions in which he was left. The vague references to his 'situation' also exacerbated the lack of disclosure.
March 30, 2025
The book’s main topics are very important to South Africa - manhood and socially imposed circumcision to prove it in the Xhosa culture. Unfortunately, it’s not a great book. For a novel the social commentary is hardly veiled, which makes it tedious to read. Many interesting thoughts, but read like ramblings.
It’s a book about a butched circumcision, but the reader doesn’t actually know what happens. I’m sure it was possible to retain the secrecy of the ritual and make it a bit more clear.
All in all, I see the book’s value, but I’m a bit angry with the South African book market in failing an author again. You can see the writer’s talent shining through, but bad editing is bad editing.
It’s a book about a butched circumcision, but the reader doesn’t actually know what happens. I’m sure it was possible to retain the secrecy of the ritual and make it a bit more clear.
All in all, I see the book’s value, but I’m a bit angry with the South African book market in failing an author again. You can see the writer’s talent shining through, but bad editing is bad editing.
February 10, 2019
The story is about a young man’s coming to terms with traditional circumcision gone wrong. Beyond his experience and the aftermath, one gets to learn of the author’s refreshing (“re-“?)construction of his masculinity and personhood thereafter.
It’s a beautifully told, courageous, emotive, cathartic story that gives a voice to people who have undergone botched circumcisions. To us, they are simply seasonal or once-off evening news, but they are out there within their communities, among us unbeknown to us; we never get to consider what becomes of them psychologically and otherwise.
It’s a beautifully told, courageous, emotive, cathartic story that gives a voice to people who have undergone botched circumcisions. To us, they are simply seasonal or once-off evening news, but they are out there within their communities, among us unbeknown to us; we never get to consider what becomes of them psychologically and otherwise.
March 15, 2020
Although I didn’t find the before and after chapters as well-written as those on the mountain, this is an important and compassionate story of a painful coming-of-age. It also highlights the ideological gap between traditional cultures, where individual needs are subservient to those of the group, and modern cultures which, while not completely devoid of social pressures, prize individuality.
Full review https://annegoodwin.weebly.com/annecd...
Full review https://annegoodwin.weebly.com/annecd...
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November 21, 2021Felt like I could actually get a good perspective on Xhosa tradition. I've seen it mentioned in other comments, but the fact that the narrator can be critical of the practice without calling for its discontinuation. It was specifically a criticism of neglect in the narrators situation only.
The idea of owning masculinity is not foreign to a trans person. It was interesting that any cis man could feel the same.
The idea of owning masculinity is not foreign to a trans person. It was interesting that any cis man could feel the same.
July 23, 2023
Its an important story, but I think it could have been better told. The beginning was really difficult to read and I would have given up were it not for my bookclub. The patience paid off about 70 pages in. All of that to say it's a good x important story to hear and tell.
I wish the language was better, the sentences more carefully crafted, the emotions better documented, and the character's arc less automatic/linear.
Read it with patience. Read it for the story.
I wish the language was better, the sentences more carefully crafted, the emotions better documented, and the character's arc less automatic/linear.
Read it with patience. Read it for the story.
June 16, 2019
This book tells the story of a young Xhosa man who has his genitals mutilated and removed due to a botched circumcision. The story follows his journey as he delves into the notion of manhood and how it is constructed and practised.
This is a really important story of what it really means to be a man in a culture that valorises manhood as the ultimate goal.
I highly recommend.
This is a really important story of what it really means to be a man in a culture that valorises manhood as the ultimate goal.
I highly recommend.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 29, 2025
I really appreciated how the book shifts the focus of masculinity from a socially defined construct to something more innate, centered on a man’s personal perspective.
My main critique is the flow of the story. The narrative often shifts abruptly between perspectives, which makes it feel disjointed at times.
My main critique is the flow of the story. The narrative often shifts abruptly between perspectives, which makes it feel disjointed at times.
June 16, 2021
A Man Who is Not a Man is one of those books, I feel you can't talk about fully without giving some spoilers. So likely I'd just share my thoughts on this.
The main theme in this book quite looks familiar but at the same time, I don't think I've come across a novel that bases on the primary subject(the societal issue) in this book.
This read conveys the description of what it means to be a man (essentialism), while also portraying traditional masculinity
Despite this was fiction, I felt the connection from the author's part of telling this story through his writing.
In a sentence, I'd say this is an important read.
Though, there were still space for more to talk about (especially the aftermath).
The main theme in this book quite looks familiar but at the same time, I don't think I've come across a novel that bases on the primary subject(the societal issue) in this book.
This read conveys the description of what it means to be a man (essentialism), while also portraying traditional masculinity
Despite this was fiction, I felt the connection from the author's part of telling this story through his writing.
In a sentence, I'd say this is an important read.
Though, there were still space for more to talk about (especially the aftermath).
July 7, 2021
This is a story of suffering, alienation, resilience, and determination. I found it so interesting to learn about this custom and rite-of-passage. The story of how the protagonist finds his worth despite the tragic circumstances he experiences so early in life is encouraging and inspiring.
March 3, 2017
An amazing story about the prevalence of male circumcision by some tribal cultures in South Africa. Sad but also inspiring.
September 25, 2020
Culture
This book have opened my eyes about the circumcision issues that happens. My 1st ever time & after I talked about it with my friends they opened up.
This book have opened my eyes about the circumcision issues that happens. My 1st ever time & after I talked about it with my friends they opened up.
February 20, 2021
A Man Who is Not a Man is a must read! Thought provoking and highly informative.
Read full review: https://readingnomad.com/2021/02/20/b...
Read full review: https://readingnomad.com/2021/02/20/b...
June 25, 2021
Interesante historia sobre qué pasa cuando los ritos de iniciación salen mal. Bien escrito, aunque un poco alargada la historia.
September 28, 2021
An interesting little book about a youth's ritual progression into manhood, and how it all goes wrong for him.
February 6, 2026
❤️I loved it!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews