What do you think?
Rate this book
Rules for Moving
From bestselling author Nancy Star comes a deeply moving novel about the truths we hide from others and the lies we tell ourselves.
To the outside world, beloved advice columnist Lane Meckler has all the answers. What no one knows is that she also has a secret: her life is a disaster, and it’s just gotten worse. Her husband, whom she was planning to leave, has died in a freak accident. Her six-year-old son, Henry, has stopped speaking to everyone but her. Lane’s solution? Move. Growing up, that was what her family did best.
But when she and Henry pack up and leave, Lane realizes that their next home is no better, and she finally begins to ask herself some hard questions. What made her family move so often? Why has she always felt like an outsider? How can she get Henry to speak?
On a journey to help her son find his voice, Lane discovers that somewhere along the way she lost her own. If she wants to help him, she’ll need to find the courage to face the past and to speak the truth she’s been hiding from for years.
To the outside world, beloved advice columnist Lane Meckler has all the answers. What no one knows is that she also has a secret: her life is a disaster, and it’s just gotten worse. Her husband, whom she was planning to leave, has died in a freak accident. Her six-year-old son, Henry, has stopped speaking to everyone but her. Lane’s solution? Move. Growing up, that was what her family did best.
But when she and Henry pack up and leave, Lane realizes that their next home is no better, and she finally begins to ask herself some hard questions. What made her family move so often? Why has she always felt like an outsider? How can she get Henry to speak?
On a journey to help her son find his voice, Lane discovers that somewhere along the way she lost her own. If she wants to help him, she’ll need to find the courage to face the past and to speak the truth she’s been hiding from for years.
Audio CD
First published May 19, 2020
488 people are currently reading
4045 people want to read
About the author
Nancy Star
24 books176 followersNancy Star is the bestselling author of Sisters One, Two Three and five other novels including her latest, Rules For Moving, coming this Spring. Star’s novels have been translated into many languages, optioned for television, and chosen as Literary Guild and Mystery Guild Signature Series selections. In addition to her novels, Star’s essays have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Family Circle, among other publications. Before turning to writing fiction full-time, Star worked for over a decade as an executive in the movie business. She now lives with her husband in New Jersey. Visit her website: nancystarauthor.com and follow her on twitter: @nancystarauthor and instagram: @nancystarauthor
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 156 reviews
September 13, 2020
I’m so furious to myself because this amazing read wait for me at least three months at my shelf and I waited too much to grab my hands into it. But finally I did and I truly enjoyed this heartfelt story.
This is one of the saddest and most realistic stories about moving on your life when you’re struggling with your past and experiencing so many traumatic setups prevents you to evolve and start a new beginning.
Lane Meckler is a columnist advising people how to gather the pieces their lives as she fails and loses the control of everything. She is a train-wreck and as her husband decides to leave her, he drunk drives and dies at the traffic accident with a mysterious woman next to him. And their sweet six years old Henry ( I want to sing him “Sweet Child of Mine” and adopt him so bad. He is one of the amazing characters of the book) stops talking.
Lane needs to take a break. She needs a fresh start. She needs to find a new house. So she takes her son and finds a new house in New Jersey but the place is money pit, needs too much repairs and re-construction. Landlord Nathan feels ashamed about inconvenience and as soon as Lane’s mother comes to her house without noticing, he offers them to rent another property at Martha’s Vineyard spending their summer till the construction finalizes.
As they spend the summer, Lane slowly becomes stronger and faces her troubles, inner demons, finds her own voice. This is an emotional finding and rediscovering yourself, second chances, grief, healing your past, enjoying your present and being brave about your future book. We also find out the real reasons behind Lane’s failed marriage. But the reason about Henry’s silence warmed my heart and felt for him so deeply.
This book is heartwarming, poignantly written, emotional, tear jerking ( prepare lots of tissues and bring out your wine glasses) If you enjoy family dramas, effective, intense women’s fictions about grief and questioning your life, catching the second chances of your life, this is great fit for you.
Special thanks to NetGalley and Lake Union Publishing for sharing this emotional ARC in exchange for my honest review. And congrats to Nancy Star to write this powerful, heart wrenching story.
This is one of the saddest and most realistic stories about moving on your life when you’re struggling with your past and experiencing so many traumatic setups prevents you to evolve and start a new beginning.
Lane Meckler is a columnist advising people how to gather the pieces their lives as she fails and loses the control of everything. She is a train-wreck and as her husband decides to leave her, he drunk drives and dies at the traffic accident with a mysterious woman next to him. And their sweet six years old Henry ( I want to sing him “Sweet Child of Mine” and adopt him so bad. He is one of the amazing characters of the book) stops talking.
Lane needs to take a break. She needs a fresh start. She needs to find a new house. So she takes her son and finds a new house in New Jersey but the place is money pit, needs too much repairs and re-construction. Landlord Nathan feels ashamed about inconvenience and as soon as Lane’s mother comes to her house without noticing, he offers them to rent another property at Martha’s Vineyard spending their summer till the construction finalizes.
As they spend the summer, Lane slowly becomes stronger and faces her troubles, inner demons, finds her own voice. This is an emotional finding and rediscovering yourself, second chances, grief, healing your past, enjoying your present and being brave about your future book. We also find out the real reasons behind Lane’s failed marriage. But the reason about Henry’s silence warmed my heart and felt for him so deeply.
This book is heartwarming, poignantly written, emotional, tear jerking ( prepare lots of tissues and bring out your wine glasses) If you enjoy family dramas, effective, intense women’s fictions about grief and questioning your life, catching the second chances of your life, this is great fit for you.
Special thanks to NetGalley and Lake Union Publishing for sharing this emotional ARC in exchange for my honest review. And congrats to Nancy Star to write this powerful, heart wrenching story.
May 23, 2020
Rules for Moving explores the mother-son relationship. My family moved often while I was growing up. It’s a long story for another time, but needless to say, when I meet someone who moved often, especially as a child, I feel an immediate kinship.
Lane is an advice columnist, and she’s supposed to know it all, right? In truth, she’s a mess at home, and her world is falling apart at the seams. She was in the midst of leaving her husband when he passes away. Her son, Henry, is only six and has stopped talking to everyone except her. To solve everything, Lane plans to move. That’s what her family did when she was growing up.
When Lane and Henry move, Lane realizes the problems are all still there. She starts to ponder why her family moved and how that made her feel on a deeper level. She also wants Henry to feel more comfortable and speak again.
Rules for Moving is an insightful story. For me, even though my family moved for different reasons, I felt connected to the story because of the emotions involved. I found the story heartfelt and heartwarming. It’s also dramatic and engaging, and I absolutely loved Henry!
I received a gifted copy. All opinions are my own.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
Lane is an advice columnist, and she’s supposed to know it all, right? In truth, she’s a mess at home, and her world is falling apart at the seams. She was in the midst of leaving her husband when he passes away. Her son, Henry, is only six and has stopped talking to everyone except her. To solve everything, Lane plans to move. That’s what her family did when she was growing up.
When Lane and Henry move, Lane realizes the problems are all still there. She starts to ponder why her family moved and how that made her feel on a deeper level. She also wants Henry to feel more comfortable and speak again.
Rules for Moving is an insightful story. For me, even though my family moved for different reasons, I felt connected to the story because of the emotions involved. I found the story heartfelt and heartwarming. It’s also dramatic and engaging, and I absolutely loved Henry!
I received a gifted copy. All opinions are my own.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
January 20, 2020
Lane’s husband Aaron has died in a crash, his car crashed into another killing the occupants and the mystery woman in his car. Lane is now left to bring up their six year old son Henry and juggle her job writing Ask Roxie, an agony aunts column.
After Aaron’s funeral Henry stops talking to everybody except his mother. Lana decides that they should move from their apartment and rents a property from Nathan in New Jersey. Unfortunately the house has many flaws and needs a lot of repairs so Nathan offers her the rent of his other property in Martha’s Vineyard.
This is a moving story about grief and moving on. Lana has her own personal demons to work through as well as finding out why Henry has stopped talking. This is an emotional rollercoaster of a ride, Henry is such a sweet child and I did have a little weep when I found out why he hadn’t been speaking!!!
I’m looking forward to reading more of Nancy Star’s books.
Thank you to Netgalley for my copy in exchange for a review.
After Aaron’s funeral Henry stops talking to everybody except his mother. Lana decides that they should move from their apartment and rents a property from Nathan in New Jersey. Unfortunately the house has many flaws and needs a lot of repairs so Nathan offers her the rent of his other property in Martha’s Vineyard.
This is a moving story about grief and moving on. Lana has her own personal demons to work through as well as finding out why Henry has stopped talking. This is an emotional rollercoaster of a ride, Henry is such a sweet child and I did have a little weep when I found out why he hadn’t been speaking!!!
I’m looking forward to reading more of Nancy Star’s books.
Thank you to Netgalley for my copy in exchange for a review.
June 21, 2022
Lane ironically makes a living as the popular advice columnist Ask Roxie. While she is good handing out guidance for others with their problems she can’t seem to handle her own troubled life. Her soon to be ex husband just died in a drunken car accident, her six year old son has stopped talking to everyone except for her and she doesn’t seem to fit in anywhere. So she decides to do what all Mecklers do when faced with a problem, pack up and find a new place to live.
But Lane and Henry’s new environment has just as many complications, if not more than their last. Lane decides if she wants to stop moving and start a new chapter she has to look into old family problems and get the answers to some difficult questions.
I had love hate moments with this book. Mostly love. The story itself has endearing sensitive qualities especially when it came to Henry.
I loved Henry, Lanes 6 year old son. He was such a good boy and extremely smart to be able read people as well as he did. My other favorite was Nathan, at times, when he wasn’t down on himself. He was the best thing for both Henry and Lane.
I knew there must have been something serious that had happened to have all The Meckler’s act as odd as they did. And they were odd! And I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
I really didn’t like Lane all that much. She was a good mother, she obviously loved Henry but she just couldn’t seem to get herself together and really didn’t try all that hard. She didn’t try to make friends and she seemed to follow her mother’s messed up rules even as an adult. But I’ll give her some slack because she’s a shinning star compared to her mother and father.
The story itself is not fast paced but interesting as it shows Lane’s struggling through life because of what she was taught growing up.
That whenever there was a problem you can always pick up and move.
But the ending was everything you’d hope for for the small family and I finally got to the bottom of what the big family hang up was.
Thank You to Suzy Approved Book Tours, Nancy Star and Lake Union for this unforgettable copy in exchange for my honest review.
But Lane and Henry’s new environment has just as many complications, if not more than their last. Lane decides if she wants to stop moving and start a new chapter she has to look into old family problems and get the answers to some difficult questions.
I had love hate moments with this book. Mostly love. The story itself has endearing sensitive qualities especially when it came to Henry.
I loved Henry, Lanes 6 year old son. He was such a good boy and extremely smart to be able read people as well as he did. My other favorite was Nathan, at times, when he wasn’t down on himself. He was the best thing for both Henry and Lane.
I knew there must have been something serious that had happened to have all The Meckler’s act as odd as they did. And they were odd! And I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
I really didn’t like Lane all that much. She was a good mother, she obviously loved Henry but she just couldn’t seem to get herself together and really didn’t try all that hard. She didn’t try to make friends and she seemed to follow her mother’s messed up rules even as an adult. But I’ll give her some slack because she’s a shinning star compared to her mother and father.
The story itself is not fast paced but interesting as it shows Lane’s struggling through life because of what she was taught growing up.
That whenever there was a problem you can always pick up and move.
But the ending was everything you’d hope for for the small family and I finally got to the bottom of what the big family hang up was.
Thank You to Suzy Approved Book Tours, Nancy Star and Lake Union for this unforgettable copy in exchange for my honest review.
September 3, 2020
This is about Lane, an advice columnist, and her son dealing with the grief of losing their husband/father. Her son stopped speaking to anyone but her. They pick up and move thinking that it would help them feel better and move on. Then Lane realizes that her problems are still there. I thought the writing was great and the plot was interesting, but I do feel like this was a bit too long and could've been better had it been shorter. I did find the mother and son relationship very relatable as I have 2 boys of my own and would do anything to try and make them feel better! I can see people enjoying this one very much, as long as you don't mind the length.
Thank you to the publisher for this gifted copy! All opinions are my own!
Thank you to the publisher for this gifted copy! All opinions are my own!
September 12, 2020
A heart-warming and memorable read.
This is my first time reading this author's work and what a pleasant experience it was! The characters leaped off the page and entered my heart. Henry was adorable and I enjoyed the way that the author portrayed him - and his thoughts.
The writing reminded my ever so slightly of the work of Fredrik Backman who is one of my favourite authors.
We follow Lane and Henry from an apartment in New York, to a old house in New Jersey, to a seaside house on Martha's Vineyard.
This is a beautifully written novel about parenting, responsibility, regrets, priorities, kindness, and how it feels to be an 'outsider'. The narrative expounds on the intrinsic value of listening and being patient with others.
Recommended highly to all those parents who feel insecure in their ability to parent, parents who suffer from parental guilt, anyone who is a parent or grandparent, adult children of parents... have I left anyone out?
This is my first time reading this author's work and what a pleasant experience it was! The characters leaped off the page and entered my heart. Henry was adorable and I enjoyed the way that the author portrayed him - and his thoughts.
The writing reminded my ever so slightly of the work of Fredrik Backman who is one of my favourite authors.
We follow Lane and Henry from an apartment in New York, to a old house in New Jersey, to a seaside house on Martha's Vineyard.
This is a beautifully written novel about parenting, responsibility, regrets, priorities, kindness, and how it feels to be an 'outsider'. The narrative expounds on the intrinsic value of listening and being patient with others.
Recommended highly to all those parents who feel insecure in their ability to parent, parents who suffer from parental guilt, anyone who is a parent or grandparent, adult children of parents... have I left anyone out?
March 19, 2020
This story of a mom and her son as they navigate grief was emotional and heartfelt. It was an ok read but it left me feeling very frustrated throughout the book. I’m glad I finished it, as I got answers to my many questions towards the end of the book, but I thought about putting it down many times. This covers a wide range of family issues and in my opinion, the author took on too many. Overall a fine read but it didn’t leave me feeling satisfied. Thank you to the publisher for the advance reader in exchange for my honest review.
May 19, 2020
**ARC provided by publisher in exchange for an honest review**
Rules of Moving was an interesting read, however I didn't really enjoy it that much. Even though there were times I wanted to put the book down, I still managed to finish it. The first half of the book was very slow, but thankfully it got more interesting towards the end. My favorite character was Lane Meckler's six year old son Henry. He went through some heavy stuff for someone his age. Lane is a bit of an anti-social person, but she was a great mom. She had a lot of patience with Henry, and even though she was still being affected by her past, she still did a great job raising Henry. I can't really blame Lane for turning out the way she did if you look at how she was raised.
Her relationship with her parents and sister was very weird and I couldn't really get a feel of what was going on. It felt very chaotic and not everything made sense. Her parents were very secretive and I had no idea why. It was very difficult for me to like Lane, I couldn't really connect with her. I still don't feel like I really know her. The change of pace in the last quarter felt refreshing and the new characters elevated the story. I especially enjoyed Henry's friendship with Nathan. I also liked seeing Lane grow as a person and finally be happy. I just wanted the change to happen a bit earlier in the story. Honestly, this book wasn't my cup of tea and that is probably why I didn't really like it that much. I do love the cover of this book and I think it fits the story really well.
Rules of Moving was an interesting read, however I didn't really enjoy it that much. Even though there were times I wanted to put the book down, I still managed to finish it. The first half of the book was very slow, but thankfully it got more interesting towards the end. My favorite character was Lane Meckler's six year old son Henry. He went through some heavy stuff for someone his age. Lane is a bit of an anti-social person, but she was a great mom. She had a lot of patience with Henry, and even though she was still being affected by her past, she still did a great job raising Henry. I can't really blame Lane for turning out the way she did if you look at how she was raised.
Her relationship with her parents and sister was very weird and I couldn't really get a feel of what was going on. It felt very chaotic and not everything made sense. Her parents were very secretive and I had no idea why. It was very difficult for me to like Lane, I couldn't really connect with her. I still don't feel like I really know her. The change of pace in the last quarter felt refreshing and the new characters elevated the story. I especially enjoyed Henry's friendship with Nathan. I also liked seeing Lane grow as a person and finally be happy. I just wanted the change to happen a bit earlier in the story. Honestly, this book wasn't my cup of tea and that is probably why I didn't really like it that much. I do love the cover of this book and I think it fits the story really well.
May 24, 2020
A beautiful read which had me in tears in most of the book.
Lane was a columnist who have advice to others but her own life was a disaster. Her husband had died and her son had stopped speaking. She needed a break and hence decided to move. During the summer, she looked into herself to find her inner strength. Find herself.
Author Nancy Star had written a heart wrenching realistic book which had me reaching for tissues frequently. The prose evoked all my emotions, it was poignant and inspiring. The characters came alive under the direction of this talented author.
I loved the way Lane found her way back to life and got to understand the reason of her marital problems. The story was all about forgiveness and healing and second chances. A brilliant read, I would say.
Lane was a columnist who have advice to others but her own life was a disaster. Her husband had died and her son had stopped speaking. She needed a break and hence decided to move. During the summer, she looked into herself to find her inner strength. Find herself.
Author Nancy Star had written a heart wrenching realistic book which had me reaching for tissues frequently. The prose evoked all my emotions, it was poignant and inspiring. The characters came alive under the direction of this talented author.
I loved the way Lane found her way back to life and got to understand the reason of her marital problems. The story was all about forgiveness and healing and second chances. A brilliant read, I would say.
June 1, 2020
This book took me 7 days to finished lol Kinda boring at first because it was pretty slow then it got more interesting.
Lane work as an advice columnist. She advise people on their life while she loses control over her life. Her husband died and her son, Henry stop speaking to everyone except her.
My favorite character is Henry goshh he is sooooo adorable and I'm glad the author show his point of view. It's interesting to read from kids pov.
I can't connect to Lane. I don't understand her at all. I don't understand her relationship with her parents and sister. They are so weird lol
Thank you Netgalley for Rules for Moving ARC!
🌟🌟🌟.5
Lane work as an advice columnist. She advise people on their life while she loses control over her life. Her husband died and her son, Henry stop speaking to everyone except her.
My favorite character is Henry goshh he is sooooo adorable and I'm glad the author show his point of view. It's interesting to read from kids pov.
I can't connect to Lane. I don't understand her at all. I don't understand her relationship with her parents and sister. They are so weird lol
Thank you Netgalley for Rules for Moving ARC!
🌟🌟🌟.5
April 27, 2020
The protagonist, Lane, was a well known (and syndicated?) advice columnist. Each chapter featured letters asking for her help along with her answers to be published. This, alone, would have been sufficient confirmation of the excessive wording and repetitiveness of the wording in this novel. One response to one letter was FOUR PAGES in the book! I can’t imagine how many column inches that would have been in a newspaper! All of the letters were long and all of the answers were VERY long. Certainly not what most papers would allot to advice columnists.
But that was the way the book was written – lots and lots of over-the-top talk and explanations, lots and lots of pages devoted to back story, lots and lots of pages devoted to how totally disinterested Lane was in everything and everybody except herself and her own dysfunctional family.
After 30% I gave up.
I appreciate this ARC from NetGalley and the publisher, Lake Union, and wish the best for its success.
But that was the way the book was written – lots and lots of over-the-top talk and explanations, lots and lots of pages devoted to back story, lots and lots of pages devoted to how totally disinterested Lane was in everything and everybody except herself and her own dysfunctional family.
After 30% I gave up.
I appreciate this ARC from NetGalley and the publisher, Lake Union, and wish the best for its success.
July 4, 2020
This story focuses on Lane and her six year old son, Henry. Lane is an advice columnist for a newspaper and is in the process of separating from her alcoholic husband when he dies in a car accident. No one knows Lane was having marital trouble so she keeps it a secret to spare Henry so he will be unaware of what was really happening with his parents. So much of Lane’s life is a mess - from her job worries, to her finances, and her relationship with her parents. Lane’s childhood was always in upheaval due to the many moves her family made. She remembers back to these moves when she has to move to a different city with Henry. I liked the idea of the story but I just didn’t connect with any of the characters. There were many quirky characters and I still had trouble really understanding them by the end of the book. Although I liked this book it didn’t completely work for me. Having said that, I will be interested in reading more from this author.
April 27, 2020
The novel immediately grabbed my attention. Lane and her husband, Aaron have a tumultuous marriage and have every intention of getting a divorce. Aaron is drunk more often that not. With the exception of caring for their son, the couple virtually spend no time together. Lane is the feisty writer of the beloved Roxie advice column and ironically, she doles out advice to people while she seems incapable or unable to practice what she preaches. When Henry is killed in a drunk driving accident, her world is turned up-side-down.
This is where I get lost in the novel and in my opinion, the storyline becomes a little choppy. Lane and her son move out of town for a fresh start. Henry stops speaking to everyone but Lane. Lane grapples with her strange family dynamic, her budding friendship with her landlord, and the contentious changes in her office which leave her feeling replaceable. I just did not affiliate with the character and never became invested in her plight.
I received an advance copy of this novel; all opinions are my own.
This is where I get lost in the novel and in my opinion, the storyline becomes a little choppy. Lane and her son move out of town for a fresh start. Henry stops speaking to everyone but Lane. Lane grapples with her strange family dynamic, her budding friendship with her landlord, and the contentious changes in her office which leave her feeling replaceable. I just did not affiliate with the character and never became invested in her plight.
I received an advance copy of this novel; all opinions are my own.
December 26, 2019
This book tells the story of an advice columnist going through some stuff herself. You could say she is in need of some advice and guiding herself.
Used to moving as a kid, Lane decides to move with her kid after a traumatic event. Henry doesn’t speak to anyone because of the things that happened. As the story unfolds you get a real understanding for this family and Lane’s not so great childhood.
The book is a pretty good read and I really enjoyed it. I did find there were some gaps and some things here and there that just didn’t sit right for me.
* ARC received in exchange for an honest review*
Used to moving as a kid, Lane decides to move with her kid after a traumatic event. Henry doesn’t speak to anyone because of the things that happened. As the story unfolds you get a real understanding for this family and Lane’s not so great childhood.
The book is a pretty good read and I really enjoyed it. I did find there were some gaps and some things here and there that just didn’t sit right for me.
* ARC received in exchange for an honest review*
April 21, 2020
*Thank you to Lake Union Publishing and Nancy Star for allowing me to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review*
This book mostly just confused me. I think it as a case of the author trying to fit to many these into one story. There was potential from the start but it just never quite all gelled together. I enjoyed the advice column letters at the start of each chapter and Henry was adorable. I wanted to really like this story but it all just fell short.
This book mostly just confused me. I think it as a case of the author trying to fit to many these into one story. There was potential from the start but it just never quite all gelled together. I enjoyed the advice column letters at the start of each chapter and Henry was adorable. I wanted to really like this story but it all just fell short.
March 4, 2020
I don’t know what I expected from this book, but it wasn’t what I thought it would be. It was reminiscent of Alice Hoffmann, but not quite as well written or interesting. The character of Lane seemed to have so much promise at first, but the book just didn’t grip me.
June 18, 2020
Goodreads Giveaway Winner (thank you!)
4*
Lane Meckler is an advice columnist who shares enlightening counsel when she is given the time to choose the letters she wants to respond to and can get guidance from appropriate experts i.e. psychologists, lawyers, etc. She is being pushed to move to a live format and podcast in order to reach younger readers, which doesn't feel right to her. She isn't skilled at speaking up for herself so the deadline for the switchover is bearing down on her like the boulder from "Raiders of the Lost Ark".
This tendency to hide her head in the sand also applies to how she handles difficulties in her marriage and in child rearing. For being a so-called expert, her lack of communication skills are hampering her personal life. She's ready to end her marriage to her husband but tragically before anything can be resolved, he is killed in an auto accident, leaving her to be the presumably cold-hearted wife who is incapable of grieving in a manner that satisfies those who adored her husband.
She finds herself in strange predicaments that make her seem off-putting to others. Shortly after her husband's death, her young son, Henry, stops speaking. Again, her attempts to make things right come across as odd to others. She doesn't have the energy to change their minds. Throughout their story, we learn about Lane's upbringing and the continued dysfunction that now seeps into her life with her little boy.
This book is hard on the ticker. I felt an underlying sense of unease throughout just waiting for the other shoe to drop on Lane and Henry's life. I was frustrated with what seemed to be her negligent parenting. I was more than frustrated with how she was unable to stand up to her family. I was frustrated at all the betrayals and half-truths she was forced to bear.
There are lessons throughout about how we should treat people we see as different. There were moments while I was frustrated with her and her family in which I could relate to my own upbringing--which probably answers why I felt so much anxiety reading this. Thankfully, things did come around full circle to explain what was causing my dread and left me feeling hope for their little family.
I loved the author's imagination, her ability to use words to get inside her characters' heads, her insight into human frailty, and even her ability to manipulate the emotions of her readers.
4*
Lane Meckler is an advice columnist who shares enlightening counsel when she is given the time to choose the letters she wants to respond to and can get guidance from appropriate experts i.e. psychologists, lawyers, etc. She is being pushed to move to a live format and podcast in order to reach younger readers, which doesn't feel right to her. She isn't skilled at speaking up for herself so the deadline for the switchover is bearing down on her like the boulder from "Raiders of the Lost Ark".
This tendency to hide her head in the sand also applies to how she handles difficulties in her marriage and in child rearing. For being a so-called expert, her lack of communication skills are hampering her personal life. She's ready to end her marriage to her husband but tragically before anything can be resolved, he is killed in an auto accident, leaving her to be the presumably cold-hearted wife who is incapable of grieving in a manner that satisfies those who adored her husband.
She finds herself in strange predicaments that make her seem off-putting to others. Shortly after her husband's death, her young son, Henry, stops speaking. Again, her attempts to make things right come across as odd to others. She doesn't have the energy to change their minds. Throughout their story, we learn about Lane's upbringing and the continued dysfunction that now seeps into her life with her little boy.
This book is hard on the ticker. I felt an underlying sense of unease throughout just waiting for the other shoe to drop on Lane and Henry's life. I was frustrated with what seemed to be her negligent parenting. I was more than frustrated with how she was unable to stand up to her family. I was frustrated at all the betrayals and half-truths she was forced to bear.
There are lessons throughout about how we should treat people we see as different. There were moments while I was frustrated with her and her family in which I could relate to my own upbringing--which probably answers why I felt so much anxiety reading this. Thankfully, things did come around full circle to explain what was causing my dread and left me feeling hope for their little family.
I loved the author's imagination, her ability to use words to get inside her characters' heads, her insight into human frailty, and even her ability to manipulate the emotions of her readers.
September 1, 2020
"First Rule of Moving: Take Only What You Love."
Lane Meckler is great at giving everyone who writes into her column advice, but, when it comes to her own life, she can't figure it out. Her marriage is falling apart, and, when a police officer comes to tell her that her husband died in a tragic accident, she doesn't know what to feel. When her six-year-old son stops talking, she decides to do what the Mecklers always do: move. But, when settling in at the new home also proves difficult, Lane realizes it isn't the home but her past that is the issue. In an effort to help her son find his voice, she knows she needs to reclaim hers.
"The house on Applegate Road - a road with neither gates nor apples - was left alone with its memories of the people who'd lived there before: the man who did voices, the woman who gave advice, and the child, with the face of an angel, who didn't speak."
This book can only be described as uplifting. Throughout the novel, my heart felt so heavy for these characters, and, as I turned the last page, tears streamed down my face, and I could feel the weight just lifting off me. I found myself actually reacting out loud to situations occurring in the story. - lots of Oh Nos and gasps. I fell in love with main characters Lane, Henry, and Nathan - all flawed and all wonderful. There were a few plot lines that were introduced that I felt weren't resolved and some things I'm curious to know more about. I think this would be a great book for book clubs to discuss - there's so much to unpack! I don't want to give too much away, but I honestly loved this, and I just went and added all of Nancy Star's books to my TBR list.
Lane Meckler is great at giving everyone who writes into her column advice, but, when it comes to her own life, she can't figure it out. Her marriage is falling apart, and, when a police officer comes to tell her that her husband died in a tragic accident, she doesn't know what to feel. When her six-year-old son stops talking, she decides to do what the Mecklers always do: move. But, when settling in at the new home also proves difficult, Lane realizes it isn't the home but her past that is the issue. In an effort to help her son find his voice, she knows she needs to reclaim hers.
"The house on Applegate Road - a road with neither gates nor apples - was left alone with its memories of the people who'd lived there before: the man who did voices, the woman who gave advice, and the child, with the face of an angel, who didn't speak."
This book can only be described as uplifting. Throughout the novel, my heart felt so heavy for these characters, and, as I turned the last page, tears streamed down my face, and I could feel the weight just lifting off me. I found myself actually reacting out loud to situations occurring in the story. - lots of Oh Nos and gasps. I fell in love with main characters Lane, Henry, and Nathan - all flawed and all wonderful. There were a few plot lines that were introduced that I felt weren't resolved and some things I'm curious to know more about. I think this would be a great book for book clubs to discuss - there's so much to unpack! I don't want to give too much away, but I honestly loved this, and I just went and added all of Nancy Star's books to my TBR list.
May 24, 2020
Lane Meckler and her husband Aaron were living in the same house as virtual strangers. They were on the brink of divorce but Lane, intensely private, intensely reserved had not spoken about it to anyone. Henry their little boy was very sensitive, was probably aware of the tension and in the midst of it all Aaron dies in a car accident with his supposed girl friend beside him.
Lane did not experience the outpouring of grief that is expected of a young widow and she also did not know how to cope with the barrage of sympathy from office mates, neighbours and parents of children in the same school as Henry.
Like another book I read just a little while ago, the story highlights the difficulties of when one is different and when one does not know the normal way to react to social situations, which many of us, the majority really take for granted. The telling of a white lie, the effusiveness of greetings, the reality of cut throat office politics took both Lane and her son by storm leaving them bereft and rudderless not knowing which way to turn.
Unlike Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory, Lane and Henry had no support system of friends and family empathizing with what was considered an aberration - and people do not know what to say, how to react to people who are different.
The story evolves in Lane's fight for her son and why he has gone mute of a sudden, changes which they must adapt to and how they are going to survive alone in this little world of Two.
A very strong emotional read, this was sent to me by Netgalley for an unbiased review, courtesy of Lake Union Publishing.
Lane did not experience the outpouring of grief that is expected of a young widow and she also did not know how to cope with the barrage of sympathy from office mates, neighbours and parents of children in the same school as Henry.
Like another book I read just a little while ago, the story highlights the difficulties of when one is different and when one does not know the normal way to react to social situations, which many of us, the majority really take for granted. The telling of a white lie, the effusiveness of greetings, the reality of cut throat office politics took both Lane and her son by storm leaving them bereft and rudderless not knowing which way to turn.
Unlike Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory, Lane and Henry had no support system of friends and family empathizing with what was considered an aberration - and people do not know what to say, how to react to people who are different.
The story evolves in Lane's fight for her son and why he has gone mute of a sudden, changes which they must adapt to and how they are going to survive alone in this little world of Two.
A very strong emotional read, this was sent to me by Netgalley for an unbiased review, courtesy of Lake Union Publishing.
May 7, 2020
This is a beautifully slow book. I was swept away in the story of Lane and Henry as they navigated their way through the shock and grief of losing Aaron, Henry's father.
While Lane is being a supportive mother to her son, she is also dealing with her own battles. The battles of buried childhood trauma, the battles of difficult family conversations and the battles of deciding between dredging something up from the past or keeping quiet because things that should have been said were instead buried deep in that family chest of unspoken moments.
My favourite part of the book were the chapters from little Henry's perspective. All the characters were well written but I felt drawn to his the most because of his endearing mannerisms and the child-like narration that Nancy Star wrote from for him. I also felt that out of all the characters, he really was the best listener as he listened to understand; picking up cues from others' body language and not just the words they were saying.
One of the themes that spoke to me throughout was miscommunication. It's so easy to misconstrue what someone else is saying or trying to say especially when we listen to respond when instead we should take a leaf out of six year old Henry's book and listen to understand. The second theme was truth. We all base our truths on our version of events which makes me wonder how reliable the truth can actually be. But without miscommunication, there is room for truth to become a point of shared understanding rather than a solo trip.
This is a slow read. I purposely read it slowly so I could enjoy each part. There is no crazy plot twist but there is a lot of character development. Star worked hard at that and it shows because this book is all about the growth of Henry, Lisa and their family.
While Lane is being a supportive mother to her son, she is also dealing with her own battles. The battles of buried childhood trauma, the battles of difficult family conversations and the battles of deciding between dredging something up from the past or keeping quiet because things that should have been said were instead buried deep in that family chest of unspoken moments.
My favourite part of the book were the chapters from little Henry's perspective. All the characters were well written but I felt drawn to his the most because of his endearing mannerisms and the child-like narration that Nancy Star wrote from for him. I also felt that out of all the characters, he really was the best listener as he listened to understand; picking up cues from others' body language and not just the words they were saying.
One of the themes that spoke to me throughout was miscommunication. It's so easy to misconstrue what someone else is saying or trying to say especially when we listen to respond when instead we should take a leaf out of six year old Henry's book and listen to understand. The second theme was truth. We all base our truths on our version of events which makes me wonder how reliable the truth can actually be. But without miscommunication, there is room for truth to become a point of shared understanding rather than a solo trip.
This is a slow read. I purposely read it slowly so I could enjoy each part. There is no crazy plot twist but there is a lot of character development. Star worked hard at that and it shows because this book is all about the growth of Henry, Lisa and their family.
September 30, 2020
Lane is a local advice columnist, but her life is a mess right now. She is suffering from childhood trauma for constantly moving. Her husband decided to leave her before he died in a drunk-driving accident. Her son, Henry is not talking to anyone but her. Lane has to do something to put everything together and help her son to talk again.
She decides to move to a new house in New Jersey. The house needs construction, and Lane’s mom, Sylvia, suddenly shows up with no explanation. So, Nathan, her landlord offers her to spend their summer in his summer home on Martha’s Vineyard until the house is fixed.
Lane's journey to help her son speak again, put her past behind, and move forward is a difficult but heartwarming story. an uplifting and emotional mother and son story, with a confusing choice of characters. Henry was adorable, I loved him, and I admire how the author portrayed his personality and his thoughts. A perfectly textured character. but Lane was the character that I struggled throughout the book to connect with. I was not able to understand her issues
Overall, I enjoyed this novel and the bond between Lane and Henry.
It’s a 3.5 star read for me rounding up to 4.
Many thanks Nancy Star. And Suzanne Leopold for this gifted copy.
Blog
Instagram
Amazon
She decides to move to a new house in New Jersey. The house needs construction, and Lane’s mom, Sylvia, suddenly shows up with no explanation. So, Nathan, her landlord offers her to spend their summer in his summer home on Martha’s Vineyard until the house is fixed.
Lane's journey to help her son speak again, put her past behind, and move forward is a difficult but heartwarming story. an uplifting and emotional mother and son story, with a confusing choice of characters. Henry was adorable, I loved him, and I admire how the author portrayed his personality and his thoughts. A perfectly textured character. but Lane was the character that I struggled throughout the book to connect with. I was not able to understand her issues
Overall, I enjoyed this novel and the bond between Lane and Henry.
It’s a 3.5 star read for me rounding up to 4.
Many thanks Nancy Star. And Suzanne Leopold for this gifted copy.
Blog
Amazon
October 15, 2020
Lane Meckler appears to have the perfect life, she writes an advice column called Ask Roxie, and is married with a son, Henry. In truth, her life is a wreck. Her marriage is falling apart, her husband is an alcoholic and is probably having an affair. After her husband dies in a drunk driving accident he caused, killing numerous people, including a woman he was with, and then a disastrous trip home to see her parents, Henry stops speaking to anyone but her. Lane decides to do what her family typically does when there is a problem, pack up and move. But the problems don’t go away, you just find a new set to deal with.
This was a moving story about grief and loss and dysfunctional families and the price we pay when we grow up in one. many of the characters were unlikeable, and I never truly understood what was going on with Lane's parents (mental illness of some kind)? I did enjoy following her journey and watching her become strong and happy again so she could be the parent her son needed. It can be a tough read at times, both due to the slow pace early on and the difficult characters but stick with it, it’s worth it. I give this 4/5 stars and thank Suzy Approved Book Tours, Lake Union Publishing , and Nancy Star for the review copy of this book.
This was a moving story about grief and loss and dysfunctional families and the price we pay when we grow up in one. many of the characters were unlikeable, and I never truly understood what was going on with Lane's parents (mental illness of some kind)? I did enjoy following her journey and watching her become strong and happy again so she could be the parent her son needed. It can be a tough read at times, both due to the slow pace early on and the difficult characters but stick with it, it’s worth it. I give this 4/5 stars and thank Suzy Approved Book Tours, Lake Union Publishing , and Nancy Star for the review copy of this book.
May 17, 2021
Just as Lane Mecklar is preparing the leave her husband, he dies in an accident. Soon after, her 6-year old son, Henry, stops talking to everyone except her. Lane struggles to cope with suddenly being a widow and trying to help Henry regain his voice. She decides to do what her family has always done to deal with their problems: move. She and Henry settle in one town, and then soon make a second move that finally changes both their lives for the better.
I didn’t have high hopes for this one (I’m not sure why; I guess I thought it sounded kind of sappy), but I ended up really enjoying it. Henry was an interesting kid who had a keen ability to understand the behaviour of those around him. Lane’s family was rather dysfunctional and seemed almost bizarrely out of place, but at least by the end we have some sense of their past, which gives us a better understanding of why Lane is the way she is. And for the record: a lot of reviewers seem to dislike Lane and/or can’t understand why she does the things she does in her interpersonal relationships. I, on the other hand, “got” Lane (for the most part). She’s an introvert and I think the author really nailed Lane and how an introverted person would handle social situations. Yes, you CAN be a good mom and still avoid social interactions! I rather liked the way Lane (and Aggie) were portrayed.
The story had a few ups and downs (I wasn’t wild about the advice column letters at the beginning of the chapters), but overall I found it to be a good read.
I didn’t have high hopes for this one (I’m not sure why; I guess I thought it sounded kind of sappy), but I ended up really enjoying it. Henry was an interesting kid who had a keen ability to understand the behaviour of those around him. Lane’s family was rather dysfunctional and seemed almost bizarrely out of place, but at least by the end we have some sense of their past, which gives us a better understanding of why Lane is the way she is. And for the record: a lot of reviewers seem to dislike Lane and/or can’t understand why she does the things she does in her interpersonal relationships. I, on the other hand, “got” Lane (for the most part). She’s an introvert and I think the author really nailed Lane and how an introverted person would handle social situations. Yes, you CAN be a good mom and still avoid social interactions! I rather liked the way Lane (and Aggie) were portrayed.
The story had a few ups and downs (I wasn’t wild about the advice column letters at the beginning of the chapters), but overall I found it to be a good read.
May 19, 2020
From the very beginning I could tell that there were many layers to this story. Each layer seems to play into another layer and as those layers start coming apart there are many ah-huh moments. For some reason, with this story I did not try to solve the story. I let Nancy Star tell the story and I happily followed along with it. There were times that I was surprised at where I was taken and times that I was shocked that I did not see what was happening coming.
Henry was “the character” for me. I loved that he got his own voice and got to tell his story from his own point of view. The misuse of words was perfect for his age, the following the rules was true to a young child, and the love he felt for his mother made my heart full. Henry had an interesting story to tell and an interesting perspective on many adult issues. He took things his own way, handled them the only way he could, and was still a lovable, fun little boy.
Rules for Moving is my first book by Nancy Star and I will be looking forward to more from her.
Henry was “the character” for me. I loved that he got his own voice and got to tell his story from his own point of view. The misuse of words was perfect for his age, the following the rules was true to a young child, and the love he felt for his mother made my heart full. Henry had an interesting story to tell and an interesting perspective on many adult issues. He took things his own way, handled them the only way he could, and was still a lovable, fun little boy.
Rules for Moving is my first book by Nancy Star and I will be looking forward to more from her.
May 27, 2020
Lane Meckler is supposed to have it all with a loving family and a job as the local advice columnist. Unfortunately she has childhood trauma from moving constantly, her husband (who she was planning on divorcing) dies in a drunk-driving incident and her son , Henry, won’t speak to anyone but her. So she does what the Meckler family does best: she picks up sticks in New York City and moves her Henry to New Jersey. When the house starts to break down, when the school kids turn out to be mean, when Lane’s mom Sylvia shows up with bad news and a secret, Lane follows her landowner (and potential crush) to yet another location. This novel is a really great family drama. I loved the way it focused on the mother-son relationship in the first half and focused on the deep family secret in the second half. I thought I got a full picture at what was happening during this sliver of life for Lane and Henry. I also enjoyed that this book isn’t sunshine, slapdash humor with a splashy romance. It’s quieter, deeper and a little sadder.
June 1, 2020
Lane Meckler is an advice columnist for Ask Roxie, with a six year old son, Henry.
As she is planning on leaving her husband, he dies in a car accident. Henry stops speaking to everyone except her.
Lane needs a new place to live and wants something different in her life so she decides to move. She finds a rental in New Jersey, but it always seems like something is breaking or needing repair.
Her landlord Nathan feels bad that things keep going wrong, so he offers a place to stay on his property in Martha's Vineyard for the summer.
She and Henry grow close to Nathan, as they work through their grief. And Lane struggles to come to terms with her estranged family ties.
This was a heartwarming story about relationships, loss and communication.
An enjoyable read with likeable characters.
The only part that didn't work well for me was the actual advice column, it didn't add to the story and seemed to slow it down.
I'm looking forward to reading more from this author.
Thank you Lake Union Publishing for the e-ARC via NetGalley.
3.5 stars, rounded up to 4 stars.
As she is planning on leaving her husband, he dies in a car accident. Henry stops speaking to everyone except her.
Lane needs a new place to live and wants something different in her life so she decides to move. She finds a rental in New Jersey, but it always seems like something is breaking or needing repair.
Her landlord Nathan feels bad that things keep going wrong, so he offers a place to stay on his property in Martha's Vineyard for the summer.
She and Henry grow close to Nathan, as they work through their grief. And Lane struggles to come to terms with her estranged family ties.
This was a heartwarming story about relationships, loss and communication.
An enjoyable read with likeable characters.
The only part that didn't work well for me was the actual advice column, it didn't add to the story and seemed to slow it down.
I'm looking forward to reading more from this author.
Thank you Lake Union Publishing for the e-ARC via NetGalley.
3.5 stars, rounded up to 4 stars.
October 6, 2020
Every so often, I come across a character in a novel that I just want to hug. Like, a long, gigantic bear hug. Lane Meckler in Nancy Star’s latest, Rules for Moving is exactly that kind of character. My heart broke for the woman. Lane’s life is currently in shambles. Her husband just died in a freak accident, her son has stopped speaking to everyone but her, and she doesn’t really have anyone to lean on. So, what’s her solution? Move. Things can only get better, right? (Insert hug here.) The reader tags along as Lane begins to process her grief, navigate her son’s silence, and confront some past issues involving her family. I couldn’t help but root for her. Oh, and if you’re a #boymom, you’ll really appreciate the sweet relationship Lane has with her son. Their closeness made me think of my little dude quite often. Rules for Moving is an emotional family drama with themes of grief, dealing with the past, starting over, and self-discovery. It gets 4/5 stars from me!
September 28, 2020
Lane Meckler is an advice columnist who us used to handing out the advice, but now finds that she could really use some advice for herself. She wanted to divorce her husband when is he killed in a car crash. Their son, Henry, is six years old and he suddenly stops talking to anyone but her.
Together, Lane and Henry decide to move out of their apartment thinking it will help them move on from their grief. Lane is used to this, because she moved around a lot with her parents as a child. But, in fact, she finds her problems (and maybe some more) are still there.
This is a wonderful family drama about Lane and Henry coping after their husband/father's death. Henry is an adorable little boy and Lane is his Mama Bear. Overall, a great read. I think it would make for a good discussion for any book club.
Thank you to Suzy Approved Book Tours and the author for a copy of the book in exchange for my honest review.
Together, Lane and Henry decide to move out of their apartment thinking it will help them move on from their grief. Lane is used to this, because she moved around a lot with her parents as a child. But, in fact, she finds her problems (and maybe some more) are still there.
This is a wonderful family drama about Lane and Henry coping after their husband/father's death. Henry is an adorable little boy and Lane is his Mama Bear. Overall, a great read. I think it would make for a good discussion for any book club.
Thank you to Suzy Approved Book Tours and the author for a copy of the book in exchange for my honest review.
October 13, 2020
A heartfelt and emotional story.
Growing up, when Lane's family had difficulties they just moved and her mother established rules while doing so. Lane is an advise columnist as her profession but struggles with her own life. After her husband dies her six year old son, Henry, stops speaking to everyone but her. So Lane does what they've always done and moved, hoping things will get better. What she finds after moving is that nothing has improved and in order for Henry to find his voice she must face the questions she has about her history to find her own.
Although slow at times, I think the characters are well drawn and I found this to be a well written story. I related to Lane's social awkwardness, I had lots of empathy for Henry and really enjoyed their journey.
Thanks to the author, Lake Union Publishing and Suzy approved book tours for my gifted copy and including me on this tour.
Growing up, when Lane's family had difficulties they just moved and her mother established rules while doing so. Lane is an advise columnist as her profession but struggles with her own life. After her husband dies her six year old son, Henry, stops speaking to everyone but her. So Lane does what they've always done and moved, hoping things will get better. What she finds after moving is that nothing has improved and in order for Henry to find his voice she must face the questions she has about her history to find her own.
Although slow at times, I think the characters are well drawn and I found this to be a well written story. I related to Lane's social awkwardness, I had lots of empathy for Henry and really enjoyed their journey.
Thanks to the author, Lake Union Publishing and Suzy approved book tours for my gifted copy and including me on this tour.
September 22, 2020
Rules for Moving is a beautifully written Women's Fiction Novel that I really enjoyed.
The author has created characters that are complex, complicated, flawed and well fleshed out.
Lane Meckler is a widow that disperses advice to other people, though everything is not as it appears.
This is a story of love, faith, family and so much more. The story is poignant and well written.
If you enjoy stories about family dynamics and starting over, you will LOVE this book!
The author has created characters that are complex, complicated, flawed and well fleshed out.
Lane Meckler is a widow that disperses advice to other people, though everything is not as it appears.
This is a story of love, faith, family and so much more. The story is poignant and well written.
If you enjoy stories about family dynamics and starting over, you will LOVE this book!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 156 reviews