What do you think?
Rate this book
People You Follow: A Memoir
“A journey down the rabbit hole of LA's most subtly toxic industry ... funny, brilliant, coy, playful, and wise.” — LENA DUNHAM, author of Not That Kind of Girl
Musician Hayley Gene Penner tells all in this harrowingly honest memoir.
Singer-songwriter Hayley Gene Penner's memoir takes a brutally honest yet humorous look at the dark, intimate truths we spend our lives running from. Like a map of beautiful mistakes, Hayley’s stories of questionable sexual encounters, artistic aspirations, and emotional abuse trace her coming of age in the music industry.
Hayley explores all her relationships — from her childhood as the daughter of a celebrity, to the destructive and coercive relationship with her boss, to her encounter with the actor we all know but who mustn’t be named — and brings them together in a series of sharp, touching vignettes. People You Follow straddles the delicate boundary between ethical and unethical behaviour, self-protection and self-destruction, power and weakness, giddiness and despair.
Musician Hayley Gene Penner tells all in this harrowingly honest memoir.
Singer-songwriter Hayley Gene Penner's memoir takes a brutally honest yet humorous look at the dark, intimate truths we spend our lives running from. Like a map of beautiful mistakes, Hayley’s stories of questionable sexual encounters, artistic aspirations, and emotional abuse trace her coming of age in the music industry.
Hayley explores all her relationships — from her childhood as the daughter of a celebrity, to the destructive and coercive relationship with her boss, to her encounter with the actor we all know but who mustn’t be named — and brings them together in a series of sharp, touching vignettes. People You Follow straddles the delicate boundary between ethical and unethical behaviour, self-protection and self-destruction, power and weakness, giddiness and despair.
240 pages, Paperback
Published September 19, 2020
15 people are currently reading
797 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
October 8, 2020
Hayley Gene Penner is a very talented young woman, a singer songwriter and writer to boot. I think she could have waited a few decades to write a memoir, or I guess I wish there were a separate genre for partial-or-early-memoir. Her writing is frank and unabashed, in a way that reminds me of a child pushing boundaries and trying to shock its elders. It's like looking at a 20-something covered in tattoos and picturing them in the future doddering along with a walker, or marveling at the extent of cutting off the nose to spite the face, "How impressed he'd be with how insignificant I could make sex now".
It's so sad how hard Penner and other women are, on themselves and their bodies, the phrase "imperfect tummy" was referenced 8 times pertaining to a woman's body whereas for men her comments are "his adorable belly jiggling" and "his perfect little belly." Her list of partners who have taught her things is stupefying: The ones I've blindly put my body in danger for. The ones I've lied to about being on birth control, then secretly taken dozens of morning-after pills for" etc. Much of this story can be read as The Other Woman's POV. In the end Penner does draw good conclusions and present good advice to readers for example, it is wrong to believe that a woman who is expressing anger is ugly, and that a man who is apologetic is necessarily sad, and more importantly, that to love yourself is a very important lesson that is worth learning. Penner writes lyrically and beautifully regardless of how ugly her subject matter.
It's so sad how hard Penner and other women are, on themselves and their bodies, the phrase "imperfect tummy" was referenced 8 times pertaining to a woman's body whereas for men her comments are "his adorable belly jiggling" and "his perfect little belly." Her list of partners who have taught her things is stupefying: The ones I've blindly put my body in danger for. The ones I've lied to about being on birth control, then secretly taken dozens of morning-after pills for" etc. Much of this story can be read as The Other Woman's POV. In the end Penner does draw good conclusions and present good advice to readers for example, it is wrong to believe that a woman who is expressing anger is ugly, and that a man who is apologetic is necessarily sad, and more importantly, that to love yourself is a very important lesson that is worth learning. Penner writes lyrically and beautifully regardless of how ugly her subject matter.
August 6, 2020
I loved this book.
I have been a fan of Hayley’s music since her W. darling days and have been eagerly waiting for its release. I often daydream and wonder about the stories that songwriters sing about - reading a memoir by a songwriter I love kinda felt like finding a secret blog written by an ex. Finally knowing the truth. Finally understanding what her songs are about.
Hayley carefully weaves her story for us, looping her experiences in different cities with different men around one another, to show us her reckoning. Her becoming. Her bravery, resilience and unwavering faith in the power of her story shines. Her vulnerability and insecurities feel painfully honest.
This book is also more than a memoir - it’s a warning signal to young songwriters beginning their careers. It’s a guide for how to find gratitude in less-than-ideal decision making. It’s a silent, chemical bomb. I predict that it will spread and decimate the toxic structures in the music industry. I predict it will linger and create real change.
Well written, great sense of humor, effortlessly structured. Highly recommend. Congratulations Hayley.
I have been a fan of Hayley’s music since her W. darling days and have been eagerly waiting for its release. I often daydream and wonder about the stories that songwriters sing about - reading a memoir by a songwriter I love kinda felt like finding a secret blog written by an ex. Finally knowing the truth. Finally understanding what her songs are about.
Hayley carefully weaves her story for us, looping her experiences in different cities with different men around one another, to show us her reckoning. Her becoming. Her bravery, resilience and unwavering faith in the power of her story shines. Her vulnerability and insecurities feel painfully honest.
This book is also more than a memoir - it’s a warning signal to young songwriters beginning their careers. It’s a guide for how to find gratitude in less-than-ideal decision making. It’s a silent, chemical bomb. I predict that it will spread and decimate the toxic structures in the music industry. I predict it will linger and create real change.
Well written, great sense of humor, effortlessly structured. Highly recommend. Congratulations Hayley.
July 16, 2020
On its surface, ‘People You Follow’ is a tell-all memoir full of provocative, heart-breaking, absurdly funny stories about writer Hayley Gene Penner’s relationships and sexual encounters—but it’s way more than that. From early, innocent teen romances in Winnipeg, (including a disastrous, hilarious side-trip to Paris), to codependent twenty-something attachments with career-obsessed dudes, to an abusive, destructive affair with an LA boss, we witness Hayley dissect each relationship until she finally figures out that the common denominator in every one of her ill-fated entanglements is herself. Once she begins to turn her gift for analysis inward, we see Hayley grapple with her perfectly imperfect family, generational trauma, and the grief and joy that surface when she makes the commitment to owning her flaws and speaking her truth. With self-deprecating humour and a generous spirit, Ms. Penner lays bare a familiar journey for many women who have struggled (and still struggle) to be completely, fully themselves in all relationships—romantic, familial, platonic and professional.
August 8, 2020
i love this book with all my heart
April 24, 2021
A refreshing, authentic memoir! Hayley Gene Penner shares her honesty, humor and heartbreaks. I relate to the struggles and growth that she has journied through, travelling back in time to my own paths while listening to hers. Lots of feelings in this book, it is not for the reader that cannot digest raw truth. Thanks Hayley Gene Penner for being your real self, it's admirable beyond words.
April 5, 2021
Such self-destructive behaviour. Being in your twenties is hard. Huge trigger warning on descriptions of many non-consensual events.
September 21, 2020
The least you can hope for from a memoir is an entertaining life story.
A step up would be great storytelling and compelling prose.
But the ultimate goal is truth.
Has this person lived their life fully and wholeheartedly enough -- and then processed the truth of that life -- such that there are real, three-dimensional lessons here? What can I actually learn from this?
People You Follow gets five stars from me because Hayley Gene Penner digs into the most painful/heartbreaking/glamorous/devastating moments of her life with such honesty and because she expresses the truth of those moments in such a powerful, relateable way. She's processed her pain and joy and trauma so fully that she can write about it with authenticity and authority -- with vulnerability but without fear.
Combine that fearlessness as a writer with a musician's gift for timing and you get a book that is difficult to put down even when it gets into its most difficult trauma and truths. Body image issues? Unrequited love? Abusive relationships? All worth diving deeply into when written with as much honesty and compassion as this.
Finally, let's be real: the amount of uncensored love and sex and Hollywood would make this a compelling book no matter how it was written.
People You Follow is an important book because Penner wrote it with such fearless vulnerability and truth.
A step up would be great storytelling and compelling prose.
But the ultimate goal is truth.
Has this person lived their life fully and wholeheartedly enough -- and then processed the truth of that life -- such that there are real, three-dimensional lessons here? What can I actually learn from this?
People You Follow gets five stars from me because Hayley Gene Penner digs into the most painful/heartbreaking/glamorous/devastating moments of her life with such honesty and because she expresses the truth of those moments in such a powerful, relateable way. She's processed her pain and joy and trauma so fully that she can write about it with authenticity and authority -- with vulnerability but without fear.
Combine that fearlessness as a writer with a musician's gift for timing and you get a book that is difficult to put down even when it gets into its most difficult trauma and truths. Body image issues? Unrequited love? Abusive relationships? All worth diving deeply into when written with as much honesty and compassion as this.
Finally, let's be real: the amount of uncensored love and sex and Hollywood would make this a compelling book no matter how it was written.
People You Follow is an important book because Penner wrote it with such fearless vulnerability and truth.
July 8, 2020
First off, this book has a stunning cover. Second, this was a very honest, raw, and real memoir of Hayley Gene Penner, a Canadian singer/songwriter. I’ve been a fan of Hayley’s music for just over a year so when I saw that she was releasing this memoir I knew I had to read it! I really enjoyed this read, it was real. I find it hard to relate to most memoirs but this one was relatable, funny and it was like reading an older sister’s diary. She was extremely vulnerable and shared some of her most intimate moments with us. She makes it clear that sometimes we need to put our experiences down on paper to truly let go and be free of our pasts. I added a few life lessons to my ever-growing list. Thank you to Hayley and the Dundurn Press for the ARC!
January 20, 2021
You know it's an excellent fricken book when you resurrect your defunct Goodreads account just to leave one review.
I discovered Hayley's book via an IG story from someone I know/follow (ironic). Mindlessly scrolling social media is not a habit I feel good about doing after-the-fact, but finding this book was an exception.
Hayley's stories are so well-written, honest, and relatable. 10/10. Will recommend.
I discovered Hayley's book via an IG story from someone I know/follow (ironic). Mindlessly scrolling social media is not a habit I feel good about doing after-the-fact, but finding this book was an exception.
Hayley's stories are so well-written, honest, and relatable. 10/10. Will recommend.
February 2, 2023
I desperately loved this book and how uncomfortable yet addictive submerging into Hayley Gene Penner’s life in LA came to feel.
George Orwell (The Economist recently reminded me in an article about Prince Harry) once wrote, “autobiography is only to be trusted when it reveals something disgraceful…since any life when viewed from the inside is simply a series of defeats.”
I've never trusted an autobiography more than People you Follow.
It's eloquently foul-mouthed, shameful, relatable, tender, rhapsodic, horrifying, edifying, and reminiscent of lyrical poetry and spoken word performances. Penner expertly conveys the compulsions and self-loathing that dictated her relationships with men in her personal life and her industry, which unnervingly blur into each other throughout the book.
Penner’s words (the audiobook recording of which she performed herself and I cannot recommend enough) are musical and revelatory. Even as she delves into the sexual and emotional exploitation that characterized her early career, there’s something thoroughly enjoyable in the details, cadence, repetitions, and rhythms she chooses to pick them apart and present to readers.
Through stunning, forceful frankness, the story unravels in ways that are horribly grotesque yet strangely magical, as Penner alchemizes her toxic relationships with others, which mirror her relationship with her body, with sex, and with herself, creating one of the safest, most intimate spaces I’ve enjoyed through reading or audio.
There were points where I wanted to yell “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” and others where I desperately wanted to give the author a knowing, understanding hug.
I really enjoyed sharing her lunches, hearing her voice, and feel fuller and better for it.
George Orwell (The Economist recently reminded me in an article about Prince Harry) once wrote, “autobiography is only to be trusted when it reveals something disgraceful…since any life when viewed from the inside is simply a series of defeats.”
I've never trusted an autobiography more than People you Follow.
It's eloquently foul-mouthed, shameful, relatable, tender, rhapsodic, horrifying, edifying, and reminiscent of lyrical poetry and spoken word performances. Penner expertly conveys the compulsions and self-loathing that dictated her relationships with men in her personal life and her industry, which unnervingly blur into each other throughout the book.
Penner’s words (the audiobook recording of which she performed herself and I cannot recommend enough) are musical and revelatory. Even as she delves into the sexual and emotional exploitation that characterized her early career, there’s something thoroughly enjoyable in the details, cadence, repetitions, and rhythms she chooses to pick them apart and present to readers.
Through stunning, forceful frankness, the story unravels in ways that are horribly grotesque yet strangely magical, as Penner alchemizes her toxic relationships with others, which mirror her relationship with her body, with sex, and with herself, creating one of the safest, most intimate spaces I’ve enjoyed through reading or audio.
There were points where I wanted to yell “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” and others where I desperately wanted to give the author a knowing, understanding hug.
I really enjoyed sharing her lunches, hearing her voice, and feel fuller and better for it.
November 11, 2020
Holy crow. I initially picked up this book hoping to read a bit about one of my longest celebrity crushes, her father, and was quickly sucked in. I began reading it as it was a gossip rag, soaking up all the juicy bits and living vicariously through her words. Then, there it was, a honest revelation and realization that resonated deeply with comparatively boring old me. I only wish I had been Haley’s age when I started my own path of self-love and acceptance. Thank you for the wild ride and glimpse into your universe.
October 7, 2020
The incredibly courageous truth-telling in this book is not to be missed. Simultaneously hopeful and heartbreaking, this is written with such honest humour, in chapters so clear and well constructed. When you hear a small gasp, a vulnerable plea escaping a throat, know that it's you, placing yourself in the very spot from which you want the writer to extricate herself. Don't skip this.
January 3, 2022
I couldn’t put this book down… after I read it I listened to the audio version too. It’s such a brilliant raw and honest take on the road to self love and the perils of being a vulnerable artist finding your way. Hayley is just as brilliant of a song writer as she is an author. Please have a listen to her music if you haven’t already!
December 23, 2021
Penner shares insights about what her personal relationships and professional associations taught her over the years. I read this to understand her perspective as a Canadian artist and the daughter of a popular Canadian media personaility, Fred Penner.
January 26, 2021
Really enjoyed reading this, basically in one sitting. Completely engaging and entertaining and honest and vulnerable.
March 30, 2021
Beautiful, probably the most highlighted e-book I've ever read. There are so many bits that just slapped me!
April 11, 2021
Loved this book for all the lessons and insights Hayley shared in her funny, honest, and unapologetic ways!
October 9, 2022
I really enjoyed this book, probably because I want to read anything about a young woman's romantic relationships. I don't know anything about Hayley or who her father is. I loved her honesty and how reflective her writing was.
March 7, 2025
I was gonna give it a 3 but the ending redeemed it for me. Important stuff in here
January 10, 2023
if you're a girly between the ages of 18-24. READ THIS!
March 17, 2024
Love love love! Hayley, a current songwriter in LA collaborating with well-known artists, shares her early career life in the music industry. She explored different points in her life, such as relationships and the complexities of dating as a woman. Throughout the book, she consistently brings up this guy from her early music career. She brings to light on the challenges faced when working with men in such an industry-such being trapped in this cycle of broken promises with success in exchange for sexual favors.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the book, especially the journal-entry-style chapters.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the book, especially the journal-entry-style chapters.
September 6, 2023
as a woman in her 20s who is also a musician, this one hit!!!
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews