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The Preternatural Chronicles #1
I’m Glad You’re Dead
After helplessly witnessing the execution of his family, John is approached by a strange man that promises the power of revenge, for a price; his life for the ability to walk the mortal plane for eternity. Fast forward several hundred years where John finds himself with an unlikely ally, Father Thomes Philseep. Together, they have the holy mission of doing God’s will by protecting this plane from the nefarious evil that seeks the end of times. After centuries of feeding on mortal blood, if John’s blackened soul can get a little bleaching at the same time, well, all the better. Too bad the warlock, Nathanial Locke, who is a lackey of Satan himself, has other plans in mind for John. Despite his platinum tongue and razor wit, John might need some help from a supernatural buddy who has a hankering for meat and sheds in the winter. Follow John the vampire as he travels through the centuries learning his powers with his teacher, Ulric, and fighting to control his supernatural predatory side to use his powers for good.
331 pages, Paperback
First published March 8, 2019
1206 people are currently reading
1483 people want to read
About the author
Hunter Blain
32 books200 followersMy name is Hunter, and I’m a wordaholic. I’m also about to break the fourth wall…of your mindhole. Because there is a true story behind this…well…story.
It begins with two best friends who grew up together, breaking rules and raising hell as they shaped each other’s personalities into the shameless assholes they are today. Well, at least for one of them, but I’ll get to that in a moment. These two boys—let’s call them Hunter and John—were all but inseparable. John excelled at creating music powerful enough to make angels weep and being the funniest asshole in Texas while Hunter dabbled—poorly, I might add—in his humble writings. Because they were self-declared brothers from other mothers, John respected Hunter’s humble writings as much as I—I mean Hunter (stupid third person perspective)—respected John’s musical magic. John’s tunes could have changed the world, one day…
One fine day, after reading one of Hunter’s horrifically detailed short stories about a serial killer, John asked Hunter to write a story about him.
“Hell yeah, dude! What do you want to be?” Hunter asked, brimming with honor and biting back a very manly squee.
“A vampire,” John responded with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “But not one of those sparkly ones. A true bad ass!”
“Done!” Hunter crowed with a smile and an accompanying high five.
“No, dude. Promise. Promise you’ll write and finish a book about me. You are the most prolific writer of our generation!” John said. (Something like that. I might be paraphrasing a little, but you get the gist of it). “I would consider it an honor to live on for eternity with your words as my life’s blood.”
Hunter agreed, never to realize the weight of that promise until one Sunday morning when John’s mother called, crying incoherently.
John…had died.
Hunter was left in a cold world without his best friend and doppelgänger. Hunter still thinks about that moment to this day. How the morning light crept through the bedroom window while Hunter stared at the ceiling, noticing how the popcorn texture created cruel, jagged shadows. How everything started to blur as his chest was crushed beneath the weight of what he was hearing, each word stacking heavily upon the other until only fitful, ragged gasps of air could escape his throat. Only fiery tears existed, especially after the horrific realization that Hunter now had to make some of the hardest phone calls of his life to the circle of friends who orbited around John’s solar pull.
Their star was no more, leaving their universe a colder and darker place.
John not only left Hunter, but a friend named Valenta as well. There was also Nathanial and Depweg. The friends were each stricken numb with the loss of such a beloved flare of life. But…
When the three found out that Hunter was keeping his promise to write the greatest story ever told—starring their dear friend, John—they demanded to be a part of the adventure. Each of them immediately knew what type of supernatural character they wanted to play in this urban fantasy eulogy. It would be a funeral pyre of words, and their fictional personas would be John’s pallbearers.
So please, as you read the following pages, feel free to laugh. Laugh at the situations John is placed in and his dickish dialogue to those around him, because John is 100% in this story without alteration (albeit he is a vampire). Laugh and let his memory live on inside the theater of your mind. Like he does in ours.
Thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my beating heart, for giving my best friend the chance to live again. You are part of this magical ritual, and that would make him the happiest man in the…well, wherever the hell he is.
It begins with two best friends who grew up together, breaking rules and raising hell as they shaped each other’s personalities into the shameless assholes they are today. Well, at least for one of them, but I’ll get to that in a moment. These two boys—let’s call them Hunter and John—were all but inseparable. John excelled at creating music powerful enough to make angels weep and being the funniest asshole in Texas while Hunter dabbled—poorly, I might add—in his humble writings. Because they were self-declared brothers from other mothers, John respected Hunter’s humble writings as much as I—I mean Hunter (stupid third person perspective)—respected John’s musical magic. John’s tunes could have changed the world, one day…
One fine day, after reading one of Hunter’s horrifically detailed short stories about a serial killer, John asked Hunter to write a story about him.
“Hell yeah, dude! What do you want to be?” Hunter asked, brimming with honor and biting back a very manly squee.
“A vampire,” John responded with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “But not one of those sparkly ones. A true bad ass!”
“Done!” Hunter crowed with a smile and an accompanying high five.
“No, dude. Promise. Promise you’ll write and finish a book about me. You are the most prolific writer of our generation!” John said. (Something like that. I might be paraphrasing a little, but you get the gist of it). “I would consider it an honor to live on for eternity with your words as my life’s blood.”
Hunter agreed, never to realize the weight of that promise until one Sunday morning when John’s mother called, crying incoherently.
John…had died.
Hunter was left in a cold world without his best friend and doppelgänger. Hunter still thinks about that moment to this day. How the morning light crept through the bedroom window while Hunter stared at the ceiling, noticing how the popcorn texture created cruel, jagged shadows. How everything started to blur as his chest was crushed beneath the weight of what he was hearing, each word stacking heavily upon the other until only fitful, ragged gasps of air could escape his throat. Only fiery tears existed, especially after the horrific realization that Hunter now had to make some of the hardest phone calls of his life to the circle of friends who orbited around John’s solar pull.
Their star was no more, leaving their universe a colder and darker place.
John not only left Hunter, but a friend named Valenta as well. There was also Nathanial and Depweg. The friends were each stricken numb with the loss of such a beloved flare of life. But…
When the three found out that Hunter was keeping his promise to write the greatest story ever told—starring their dear friend, John—they demanded to be a part of the adventure. Each of them immediately knew what type of supernatural character they wanted to play in this urban fantasy eulogy. It would be a funeral pyre of words, and their fictional personas would be John’s pallbearers.
So please, as you read the following pages, feel free to laugh. Laugh at the situations John is placed in and his dickish dialogue to those around him, because John is 100% in this story without alteration (albeit he is a vampire). Laugh and let his memory live on inside the theater of your mind. Like he does in ours.
Thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my beating heart, for giving my best friend the chance to live again. You are part of this magical ritual, and that would make him the happiest man in the…well, wherever the hell he is.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 176 reviews
April 29, 2020
Dark, gory and filled with snark and pop culture references, I easily devoured this over the course of two evenings. Blain does not deliver sparkly vampires, instead he tells the story of John who lived through a terrible tragedy and wants to avenge his mother. He accepts an offer that will forever change him.
Take spiderman and all that you know about vampires. Weave them together and toss in a little Jim Carrey and you’ll begin to see our protagonist, John.
The tale shares both John’s creation story as a teen in the 1400s and his present-day situation in Houston. John works for the church battling evil and it’s worked well until all hell breaks loose. A warlock named Locke is in league with Satan himself, and John is getting in the way.
Suspense, battles, gore, slap-stick humor and sheer determination drive John and his friends in this battle of good vs evil. Can John stop those trying to summon demons before they expose the supernatural world?
Luke Daniels does a stellar job from pacing to character voices. He enhanced the snark and grit, bringing John and secondary characters from allies to villains to life in vivid 3-D.
This review was originally posted at Caffeinated Reviewer
Take spiderman and all that you know about vampires. Weave them together and toss in a little Jim Carrey and you’ll begin to see our protagonist, John.
The tale shares both John’s creation story as a teen in the 1400s and his present-day situation in Houston. John works for the church battling evil and it’s worked well until all hell breaks loose. A warlock named Locke is in league with Satan himself, and John is getting in the way.
Suspense, battles, gore, slap-stick humor and sheer determination drive John and his friends in this battle of good vs evil. Can John stop those trying to summon demons before they expose the supernatural world?
Luke Daniels does a stellar job from pacing to character voices. He enhanced the snark and grit, bringing John and secondary characters from allies to villains to life in vivid 3-D.
This review was originally posted at Caffeinated Reviewer
March 8, 2020
Vampire Deadpool!
As I was reading ‘I’m Glad you’re Dead’, I found the lead character John reminded me of Marvel’s Deadpool. So much so, that narrator in my head was doing everything in a Ryan Reynolds voice. As I’m a huge Deadpool fan, this was a plus for me.
The puns and movie references in the book were great and had me chuckling on numerous occasions. The pacing was quick and will having you missing sleep if you start it late at night as you won’t want to put it down.
The book splits between John’s early life of being human and becoming a vampire and his present day life. Normally this type of split would be something I wouldn’t enjoy as I’m not a huge fan of flashbacks in stories as they can be very info dumpy at times. For this book though it really worked. I was just as invested in the early parts of John’s life as the present day ones.
Looking forward to picking up the next book in the series.
As I was reading ‘I’m Glad you’re Dead’, I found the lead character John reminded me of Marvel’s Deadpool. So much so, that narrator in my head was doing everything in a Ryan Reynolds voice. As I’m a huge Deadpool fan, this was a plus for me.
The puns and movie references in the book were great and had me chuckling on numerous occasions. The pacing was quick and will having you missing sleep if you start it late at night as you won’t want to put it down.
The book splits between John’s early life of being human and becoming a vampire and his present day life. Normally this type of split would be something I wouldn’t enjoy as I’m not a huge fan of flashbacks in stories as they can be very info dumpy at times. For this book though it really worked. I was just as invested in the early parts of John’s life as the present day ones.
Looking forward to picking up the next book in the series.
June 18, 2020
A solid and entertaining adventure starring a young man transformed by a vampire after a group of corrupt officials murder his family to steal their land. Our antihero, John Cook, begins the adventure by eating a bunch of lowlifes and shows just what a likable Sons of Anarchy-with-fangs character he is. I really was entertained with the humor, the action, and the twists throughout. This is a great adventure and everyone should pick this up. I recommend the audiobook version over the Kindle version as the narration is one of the best parts.
I appreciate the whole "Dresden Files"-ishness of it all with John Cook as the same sort of wisecracking supernatural. Mind you, I do that in my books all the time so I may just have a type.
I appreciate the whole "Dresden Files"-ishness of it all with John Cook as the same sort of wisecracking supernatural. Mind you, I do that in my books all the time so I may just have a type.
July 9, 2023
A 500-year-old vampire fights supernatural bad guys in modern-day Houston, Texas. But the real villains are his constant bad jokes and TwenCen pop culture references.
This book goes to show that boys can be just as stupid about their vampires as girls can. The outrageously over-the-top dudebro vampires in this story are at least as ridiculous as the sparkly romance objects that are so gleefully mocked in this text. They do all the “normal” vampire things and they can also do really crazy things like telekinesis, read minds, turn blood into swords and whips and things, learn every language super fast, and have a perfectly eidetic memory. And the capper is their purple eyes.
I went into this fully expecting it to be bad. The buzz was that it's hilariously bad vampire camp, and I thought I was prepared for that. But the first ten minutes were so off-the-rails bad that I almost quit. After checking my Audible account and realizing it was too late for me to return it and get a credit back, I bravely soldiered on. After a shockingly rough takeoff, it did level out into something approaching the general level of badness I was expecting. Which is to say, quite bad, but with occasional laughs here and there. Unfortunately, there were not nearly as many laughs as I was hoping for. One reviewer described it as “if Deadpool were a vampire,” and I'd say that's not totally wrong, but comparing it to Deadpool vastly exaggerates how funny the gags actually are IMO. I laughed a lot at Deadpool, but here, I'd say there are nine eyerollers for every genuine LOL. It's the sort of book where Protag still makes stupid wisecracks even after both his legs have been ripped off and he's about as close to annihilation as he's ever been. Simply having your protag spout a movie or TV quote every ten minutes in reaction to the current situation isn't actually that funny. In terms of making rampant TwenCen pop culture references enjoyable in a book, Ready Player One, garbage as it was, did it much better by actually working them into the plot in the form of the puzzles the characters had to solve.
Speaking of plot, there's no plot here to speak of. We're told pretty early that the forces of evil are planning some sort of cataclysm, and then a lot more random stuff happens that's more about a personal vendetta between John and his arch-enemy Nathaniel Locke. It's so random it's hard tokeep caring even begin caring. Father Thomes is mentioned in the blurb, but if you wanted some sort of “odd couple” story about how a Catholic priest and a vampire team up to do good works in their community, you will be disappointed. “Papa T,” as John is fond of calling him, barely shows up.
Instead of having a coherent plot, John simply careens from one action scene to the next, getting in fights and shenanigans for reasons that are rarely clear. The overall result is violent, senseless, and apparently largely pointless. John gets dramatically injured a lot, often in really gross ways (chopstick through the eyeball is just one example, and Blain seems really fond of making bad things happen to people's eyes), and magically heals from it all. He also at times kills his victims/enemies in extremely gruesome ways that are described in grisly detail. There is also violence toward animals (not at John's hands). The one nice thing you can say about it is that no helpless women get knocked around.
It's saved somewhat by the other storyline that's intercut with the modern-day scenes, telling how young John became a vampire back in 1480 Ireland, learned from his mentor how to do vampire things, and made a decision that he wasn't going to spend eternity being an amoral death machine, but would instead try to use his powers for good. But that background story peters out by the halfway point, skipping the potentially interesting story of how a vampire and a Catholic priest decide to team up, and all we're left with is fight scene after fight scene in the current-day timeline.
1.5 stars, rounded up to 2, with the half-star awarded for making me laugh a few times.
Audio Notes: Luke Daniels is an excellent narrator, and he does the best he can with this text, wringing every drop of humor out of the overtly funny bits, and melodramatically overacting the intentionally melodramatic bits (which is to say, the entire text). I didn't find the text nearly as funny as Blain obviously intended it to be, but Daniels helped me find it somewhat funny. Occasionally. This is one of the worst books that's ever made it onto my "best audios" shelf, and it's all thanks to the talents of Luke Daniels bringing this really stupid story to life. Which just goes to show that what makes a good AUDIO is entirely different from what makes a good BOOK.
This book goes to show that boys can be just as stupid about their vampires as girls can. The outrageously over-the-top dudebro vampires in this story are at least as ridiculous as the sparkly romance objects that are so gleefully mocked in this text. They do all the “normal” vampire things and they can also do really crazy things like telekinesis, read minds, turn blood into swords and whips and things, learn every language super fast, and have a perfectly eidetic memory. And the capper is their purple eyes.
I went into this fully expecting it to be bad. The buzz was that it's hilariously bad vampire camp, and I thought I was prepared for that. But the first ten minutes were so off-the-rails bad that I almost quit. After checking my Audible account and realizing it was too late for me to return it and get a credit back, I bravely soldiered on. After a shockingly rough takeoff, it did level out into something approaching the general level of badness I was expecting. Which is to say, quite bad, but with occasional laughs here and there. Unfortunately, there were not nearly as many laughs as I was hoping for. One reviewer described it as “if Deadpool were a vampire,” and I'd say that's not totally wrong, but comparing it to Deadpool vastly exaggerates how funny the gags actually are IMO. I laughed a lot at Deadpool, but here, I'd say there are nine eyerollers for every genuine LOL. It's the sort of book where Protag still makes stupid wisecracks even after both his legs have been ripped off and he's about as close to annihilation as he's ever been. Simply having your protag spout a movie or TV quote every ten minutes in reaction to the current situation isn't actually that funny. In terms of making rampant TwenCen pop culture references enjoyable in a book, Ready Player One, garbage as it was, did it much better by actually working them into the plot in the form of the puzzles the characters had to solve.
Speaking of plot, there's no plot here to speak of. We're told pretty early that the forces of evil are planning some sort of cataclysm, and then a lot more random stuff happens that's more about a personal vendetta between John and his arch-enemy Nathaniel Locke. It's so random it's hard to
Instead of having a coherent plot, John simply careens from one action scene to the next, getting in fights and shenanigans for reasons that are rarely clear. The overall result is violent, senseless, and apparently largely pointless. John gets dramatically injured a lot, often in really gross ways (chopstick through the eyeball is just one example, and Blain seems really fond of making bad things happen to people's eyes), and magically heals from it all. He also at times kills his victims/enemies in extremely gruesome ways that are described in grisly detail. There is also violence toward animals (not at John's hands). The one nice thing you can say about it is that no helpless women get knocked around.
It's saved somewhat by the other storyline that's intercut with the modern-day scenes, telling how young John became a vampire back in 1480 Ireland, learned from his mentor how to do vampire things, and made a decision that he wasn't going to spend eternity being an amoral death machine, but would instead try to use his powers for good. But that background story peters out by the halfway point, skipping the potentially interesting story of how a vampire and a Catholic priest decide to team up, and all we're left with is fight scene after fight scene in the current-day timeline.
1.5 stars, rounded up to 2, with the half-star awarded for making me laugh a few times.
Audio Notes: Luke Daniels is an excellent narrator, and he does the best he can with this text, wringing every drop of humor out of the overtly funny bits, and melodramatically overacting the intentionally melodramatic bits (which is to say, the entire text). I didn't find the text nearly as funny as Blain obviously intended it to be, but Daniels helped me find it somewhat funny. Occasionally. This is one of the worst books that's ever made it onto my "best audios" shelf, and it's all thanks to the talents of Luke Daniels bringing this really stupid story to life. Which just goes to show that what makes a good AUDIO is entirely different from what makes a good BOOK.
July 29, 2020
Not bad but not great
I enjoyed the main characters wit but the story and book ended up lacking. It lacked excitement and intrigue. I also didn’t get to know enough about the other characters other than Father T’s utter lack of any kind of loyalty and empathy. Still not sure why John forgave so readily. I just feel like there were big important chunks of the story missing. It didn’t keep me intrigued enough to read a 2nd book.
I enjoyed the main characters wit but the story and book ended up lacking. It lacked excitement and intrigue. I also didn’t get to know enough about the other characters other than Father T’s utter lack of any kind of loyalty and empathy. Still not sure why John forgave so readily. I just feel like there were big important chunks of the story missing. It didn’t keep me intrigued enough to read a 2nd book.
March 14, 2020
Being a big fan of urban fantasy for a long time, I am always looking for new books to check out. When I was given the chance to read and review I'm Glad You're Dead, the premise hooked me and I knew I had to check it out. That turned out to be a good decision, since this book takes the usual vampire tropes, spins them in a blender, and makes them its own with some whole new wrinkles.
PLOT SUMMARY
In Houston, a vampire named John is the last of his kind. Working with catholic priest Phillip Philseep, John is best described as a fixer, putting down supernatural menaces such as demons and their summoners. Being a vampire, John needs human blood, and satisfies the need by killing murderers and rapists. There is a supernatural underground with only one rule: don't let the mundanes see you doing supernatural stuff. Secrecy is the key to their society's safety, and someone has been trying to raise demons, threatening their exposure. Father Philseep thinks there's a bigger conspiracy behind the demon summoning, and it's up to John to find out what.
The story also flashes back to John's past, showing how and when he became a vampire. As a teen in the late 1400's Ireland, his parents are killed in a pogrom against heretics. While he awaits his fate, John is given a choice by a strange man offering him revenge against the men who killed his family. Taking the offer, he is made into a vampire and proceeds on a crusade to destroy his parent's killers, learning to use the many powers of his vampire nature, finally ending years later in an event that changes the course of his unlife.
Back in the present day, a local warlock tries to warn John off the hunt for the summoners. John, in his hatred for being told what to do, instead antagonizes the warlock, letting him know that he was not dropping the pursuit. Ending up back in his secure hidden home under a crypt, he awakens in the day weakened and seeing sunlight in his hidey hole, which is filling with water and iron dust, which is toxic to any magical creature, including vampires. Burning and weak, John is half a step ahead from the tactical team that is trying to kill him in a place they shouldn't know exists. With the help of his one foot tall fairy roommate, John manages to fool the team. He also discovers the warlock has an unexpected connection to his past, guaranteeing they will be confronting another again.
Escaping out the hidden emergency exit, John is so hurt he is basically feral, and breaks the cardinal rule, don't hurt innocents. This leads him into conflict with Father Philseep, who locks him away in a special cell. Fearing the priest means to kill him, John escapes with some difficulty and proceeds to get some help from another friend, a werewolf he knew from World War Two. They go after the cause of demon summoning, finding that it has a connection to John's first moments of his undead life, and will have repercussions that will affect the rest of John's undead life.
CHARACTERS AND WORLD BUILDING
This is very much a character driven story. Taking place in modern Houston, with only a secret underbelly of supernatural creatures, it relies heavily on the characters and their interactions. John is a very interesting character, being over 500 years old, as well as a completely irreverent smart ass. He is kind of tragic, trying to atone for years of blood and slaughter, knowing the truth of the afterlife. His friends, Da the fairy and his werewolf friend are also fun characters, each bring something to the story. The villain has realistic motivations, even if they are a lust for power. The various supernaturals are creatively described, and get some new twists.
The setting, modern Houston, is a nice change of pace from the usual New York, Chicago or LA urban fantasy setting. It does have the stereotypical magical bar that's neutral ground, with the requisite mysterious barman owner, but that's about the only trope as far as setting. The rest is just real Houston with supernatural events and creatures, giving it a realistic gritty feel not often found in urban fantasy books.
NARRATION
The narration is handled quite ably by Audible Hall of Famer Luke Daniels. I was very familiar with his other work, so I came in knowing what to expect, and wasn't disappointed. Luke does an amazing job creating various character voices, using a wide variety of tones, accents and cadences to differentiate the various characters. His narrative pacing is some of the best in the business, never becoming monotonous, while keeping the listener engaged at all times. I would consider this some of his best work to date.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I was surprised how many unique aspects the book had. This is definitely not a sparkly vampire romance with vegetarian vampires, but a redemption story set in an offbeat setting, with a cast of characters that keeps the readers on tier toes. I know I am excited to see how the series continues on, and will definitely be doing a review for that one as well. This book has something to offer for any fan of vampire and urban fantasy stories.
PLOT SUMMARY
In Houston, a vampire named John is the last of his kind. Working with catholic priest Phillip Philseep, John is best described as a fixer, putting down supernatural menaces such as demons and their summoners. Being a vampire, John needs human blood, and satisfies the need by killing murderers and rapists. There is a supernatural underground with only one rule: don't let the mundanes see you doing supernatural stuff. Secrecy is the key to their society's safety, and someone has been trying to raise demons, threatening their exposure. Father Philseep thinks there's a bigger conspiracy behind the demon summoning, and it's up to John to find out what.
The story also flashes back to John's past, showing how and when he became a vampire. As a teen in the late 1400's Ireland, his parents are killed in a pogrom against heretics. While he awaits his fate, John is given a choice by a strange man offering him revenge against the men who killed his family. Taking the offer, he is made into a vampire and proceeds on a crusade to destroy his parent's killers, learning to use the many powers of his vampire nature, finally ending years later in an event that changes the course of his unlife.
Back in the present day, a local warlock tries to warn John off the hunt for the summoners. John, in his hatred for being told what to do, instead antagonizes the warlock, letting him know that he was not dropping the pursuit. Ending up back in his secure hidden home under a crypt, he awakens in the day weakened and seeing sunlight in his hidey hole, which is filling with water and iron dust, which is toxic to any magical creature, including vampires. Burning and weak, John is half a step ahead from the tactical team that is trying to kill him in a place they shouldn't know exists. With the help of his one foot tall fairy roommate, John manages to fool the team. He also discovers the warlock has an unexpected connection to his past, guaranteeing they will be confronting another again.
Escaping out the hidden emergency exit, John is so hurt he is basically feral, and breaks the cardinal rule, don't hurt innocents. This leads him into conflict with Father Philseep, who locks him away in a special cell. Fearing the priest means to kill him, John escapes with some difficulty and proceeds to get some help from another friend, a werewolf he knew from World War Two. They go after the cause of demon summoning, finding that it has a connection to John's first moments of his undead life, and will have repercussions that will affect the rest of John's undead life.
CHARACTERS AND WORLD BUILDING
This is very much a character driven story. Taking place in modern Houston, with only a secret underbelly of supernatural creatures, it relies heavily on the characters and their interactions. John is a very interesting character, being over 500 years old, as well as a completely irreverent smart ass. He is kind of tragic, trying to atone for years of blood and slaughter, knowing the truth of the afterlife. His friends, Da the fairy and his werewolf friend are also fun characters, each bring something to the story. The villain has realistic motivations, even if they are a lust for power. The various supernaturals are creatively described, and get some new twists.
The setting, modern Houston, is a nice change of pace from the usual New York, Chicago or LA urban fantasy setting. It does have the stereotypical magical bar that's neutral ground, with the requisite mysterious barman owner, but that's about the only trope as far as setting. The rest is just real Houston with supernatural events and creatures, giving it a realistic gritty feel not often found in urban fantasy books.
NARRATION
The narration is handled quite ably by Audible Hall of Famer Luke Daniels. I was very familiar with his other work, so I came in knowing what to expect, and wasn't disappointed. Luke does an amazing job creating various character voices, using a wide variety of tones, accents and cadences to differentiate the various characters. His narrative pacing is some of the best in the business, never becoming monotonous, while keeping the listener engaged at all times. I would consider this some of his best work to date.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I was surprised how many unique aspects the book had. This is definitely not a sparkly vampire romance with vegetarian vampires, but a redemption story set in an offbeat setting, with a cast of characters that keeps the readers on tier toes. I know I am excited to see how the series continues on, and will definitely be doing a review for that one as well. This book has something to offer for any fan of vampire and urban fantasy stories.
January 8, 2022
To start, I want to say two things. One, I said to myself a long time ago that one star ratings should be reserved for things that I couldn't finish. This is one of those things. I could not finish this book and I found it dreadfully boring, but I do not want my commentary to be representative of my feelings towards Hunter Blain as an author. He wrote this book as a tribute to his friend and that warms my heart, but I also want to be honest here about what didn't work for me.
I read a lot of urban fantasy, some good and some bad. This is by far some of the worst urban fantasy I've read. From a charisma-void of a protagonist, a bland and uninspired setting which is given so little world building that there's nothing go attach yourself to, and absolutely atrocious pacing decisions which kill any sort of tension or momentum and eventually lead to confusion at how the hell things have gotten to this point. I may eventually write a longer review of this book if I ever go back and finish it, but for now I think it's deserving of one star. While I think it is a very sweet tribute to his friend, as an urban fantasy novel it is boring, uninspired, and frustrating.
I read a lot of urban fantasy, some good and some bad. This is by far some of the worst urban fantasy I've read. From a charisma-void of a protagonist, a bland and uninspired setting which is given so little world building that there's nothing go attach yourself to, and absolutely atrocious pacing decisions which kill any sort of tension or momentum and eventually lead to confusion at how the hell things have gotten to this point. I may eventually write a longer review of this book if I ever go back and finish it, but for now I think it's deserving of one star. While I think it is a very sweet tribute to his friend, as an urban fantasy novel it is boring, uninspired, and frustrating.
August 14, 2020
A rip-roaring, jam packed debut for a series that will leave you laughing, WTHing, and flipping pages (digital or physical) at a fast pace to see what happens next. An origin story that has modest beginnings, then fans the flames with betrayal, revenge, a mission statement, and watching all of it torn asunder while contemplating even more revenge. A great start.
August 29, 2021
Notes:
Bought during one of the Audible Sales
Low end of 3 Stars - Leaving at 3 for great narration by Luke Daniels
I didn't care for the sloppy changes from the present to past. The characters felt rather absurd, the plot was flimsy, and I didn't think the humor was all that funny despite solid narration.
*Don't spend money on the series. Read other books via library or maybe on a super cheap bundle sale.
Bought during one of the Audible Sales
Low end of 3 Stars - Leaving at 3 for great narration by Luke Daniels
I didn't care for the sloppy changes from the present to past. The characters felt rather absurd, the plot was flimsy, and I didn't think the humor was all that funny despite solid narration.
*Don't spend money on the series. Read other books via library or maybe on a super cheap bundle sale.
May 26, 2022
Absolutely loved it, so funny and so many pop culture references.
August 8, 2020
Great book!
This has everything you want in a paranormal read - awesome plot,hilarious main characters, intense action. I will definitely read the next book and the next, and so on!!
This has everything you want in a paranormal read - awesome plot,hilarious main characters, intense action. I will definitely read the next book and the next, and so on!!
June 17, 2020
I burst out laughing after the first few pages and realized that I would not be getting anything done until the book was finished. I'm not really into good guys or classic heroes. I hate the do gooder and the "I don't kill anyone" hero. John is a hilarious bad ass and I could not be happier. Decided to buy the audiobook companion for the second book...Luke Daniels brings John to life! The Netflix series will be a hit.
June 17, 2020
Fantastic read!
Wow, this book was awesome. It takes a bit for me to pick up a new series, and i am so glad I did. This is definitely a 5 star read, paxked with epic humor and violence, both of which I delight in reading.
Wow, this book was awesome. It takes a bit for me to pick up a new series, and i am so glad I did. This is definitely a 5 star read, paxked with epic humor and violence, both of which I delight in reading.
September 19, 2020
☆ I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD : (Book #1 Preternatural Series) :☆ HUNTER BLAIN ☆
If you have & love a wicked sense of humour look no further than Hunter Blain's Cook!
If You Mixed Adam Sandler's, Deadpool's, Shayne Silvers' Sorin & Hunter Blain's Sperm In A Petri Dish, Their Combined DNA Would Produce One Hell Of A Spawn : Introducing John Cook!
*Word of Warning*
If Meaningless Death and Violence & a great sense of (warped) humour is not your thing, then this series may not be for you!
Guns & Ammo, Vampires & Stakes, Sire Bonds & Blood Bags, A German Werwolf, Nazi's, Magic, Silver Kukri Blades, Warlock’s & Witches, Trolls & Ogres, Demons & Scales, Fairies & Priests, And Puppy Dog Tails. What more could you ask for all wrapped up in the pages of one hilarious book.
Just throw in the kitchen sink & this book has it all! It's a uniquely fresh & exciting take on an the often overdone & flogged to death vampire genre. Honestly I never thought I'd see anything originally again, but with each new interpretation I must say I'm pleasantly surprised.
A fast paced action story of one man or monsters life & existence & his redemption to humanity to be nothing like his sire.
This is John Cook's his-story, a promise made, and the hunt for the promised revenge. It's full of meaningless death & violence. Fingernail biting, edge of your seat, fly by the seat of your pants action & drama. It'll make you laugh and possibly cry (I lost it like a babe during 1 particular scene. Creating a lump in my throat the size of Uluru, trying hard to keep my tears from breaking the banks of the dam, fighting a losing battle as the tears trickled down my cheeks & neck, the tide broke & freely flowed (Wheely thanks Hunter)!
If you have & love a wicked sense of humour look no further than Hunter Blain's Cook! For his humour & wit is as sharp as Depweg's silver Kukri Blade & just as lethal!
And if your into Audible books, why not enhance the experience, topping off an awesome read with the dulcet tones of Award Winning Narrator Luke Daniels. He'll make you laugh so hard you'll spit your spine out your mouth & onto your book killing yourself laughing!
Hunter Blain & Luke Daniels are a match made in Heaven or possible Hell depending on how you look at it, I almost threw my back out laughing!
I won't blow smoke up your patootie rehashing what this book is all about, because by now you've already read the author's synopsis & who can write it better than Hunter himself, plus half a dozen reviews, so here's my thought on the book, the characters the action & the audible sound.
Loved, loved, loved reading / listening to I'm Glad Your Dead (Book #1 Preternatural Series) by the hilariously funny Hunter Blain & with the added talents of a brilliant narrator who can do it all, sounds great doing both males & females, the young & old, voicing multiple characters with ease all at the same time, executing humour, action, drama, devastation & loss all timed to perfection giving Hunter's characters a whole new life of their own.
This series is a TV series / Movie Freaks / Geek's wet dream come true with all the Pop Culture References & hilarious One Liners. Big Arnie being an author favourite.
Just how many references can you spot, will you get them all & know what movie their from & which actor said them? There was one I missed & had to look up. Speaking of looking up, maybe miss checking up some of the unknown words in the urban dictionary too, hey but then again, if I had to see it then you should too for the full effects! ROTFLMAO!!!
Although the story is set in modern day Houston, the story has many flashback scenes to the 1480's, 1644 and 1945 which are among the most significant periods of John Cook's life.
Often novels that frequently jump time periods can become confusing as you need to re-read for clarification.
Some authors denote differing time era's by using different fonts, thus making it easy to understand, but some do not.
Hunter's clarification is simple too, defining the different time periods of John Cook's past only coinciding at the start of a new chapter together with bold & clearly labelled headings stating either 'Present Day', Houston or naming 'Place & Time' (i.e. Germany 1945') in the past. Thus making it easier on his reader.
I RATE I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD
5 ⭐ OUT OF 5 ⭐
I Know This Series Will Only Get Better!
I Recommend Hunter Blain, This Book & The & Audio. Run Out & Buy Them Today. Luke Daniels Does A Fantastic Rendition You Wont Be Disappointed!!!
I received an ARC of this book from the author and purchased the Audible book myself. And this is my fair honest and impartial review as always.
Reviewed By : Jewelz Pederick.
🙋♀ ❤ From The 🤪 🇦🇺 📖🐛❗
(Bye Love From The Crazy Australian BookWorm)
If you have & love a wicked sense of humour look no further than Hunter Blain's Cook!
If You Mixed Adam Sandler's, Deadpool's, Shayne Silvers' Sorin & Hunter Blain's Sperm In A Petri Dish, Their Combined DNA Would Produce One Hell Of A Spawn : Introducing John Cook!
*Word of Warning*
If Meaningless Death and Violence & a great sense of (warped) humour is not your thing, then this series may not be for you!
Guns & Ammo, Vampires & Stakes, Sire Bonds & Blood Bags, A German Werwolf, Nazi's, Magic, Silver Kukri Blades, Warlock’s & Witches, Trolls & Ogres, Demons & Scales, Fairies & Priests, And Puppy Dog Tails. What more could you ask for all wrapped up in the pages of one hilarious book.
Just throw in the kitchen sink & this book has it all! It's a uniquely fresh & exciting take on an the often overdone & flogged to death vampire genre. Honestly I never thought I'd see anything originally again, but with each new interpretation I must say I'm pleasantly surprised.
A fast paced action story of one man or monsters life & existence & his redemption to humanity to be nothing like his sire.
This is John Cook's his-story, a promise made, and the hunt for the promised revenge. It's full of meaningless death & violence. Fingernail biting, edge of your seat, fly by the seat of your pants action & drama. It'll make you laugh and possibly cry (I lost it like a babe during 1 particular scene. Creating a lump in my throat the size of Uluru, trying hard to keep my tears from breaking the banks of the dam, fighting a losing battle as the tears trickled down my cheeks & neck, the tide broke & freely flowed (Wheely thanks Hunter)!
If you have & love a wicked sense of humour look no further than Hunter Blain's Cook! For his humour & wit is as sharp as Depweg's silver Kukri Blade & just as lethal!
And if your into Audible books, why not enhance the experience, topping off an awesome read with the dulcet tones of Award Winning Narrator Luke Daniels. He'll make you laugh so hard you'll spit your spine out your mouth & onto your book killing yourself laughing!
Hunter Blain & Luke Daniels are a match made in Heaven or possible Hell depending on how you look at it, I almost threw my back out laughing!
I won't blow smoke up your patootie rehashing what this book is all about, because by now you've already read the author's synopsis & who can write it better than Hunter himself, plus half a dozen reviews, so here's my thought on the book, the characters the action & the audible sound.
Loved, loved, loved reading / listening to I'm Glad Your Dead (Book #1 Preternatural Series) by the hilariously funny Hunter Blain & with the added talents of a brilliant narrator who can do it all, sounds great doing both males & females, the young & old, voicing multiple characters with ease all at the same time, executing humour, action, drama, devastation & loss all timed to perfection giving Hunter's characters a whole new life of their own.
This series is a TV series / Movie Freaks / Geek's wet dream come true with all the Pop Culture References & hilarious One Liners. Big Arnie being an author favourite.
Just how many references can you spot, will you get them all & know what movie their from & which actor said them? There was one I missed & had to look up. Speaking of looking up, maybe miss checking up some of the unknown words in the urban dictionary too, hey but then again, if I had to see it then you should too for the full effects! ROTFLMAO!!!
Although the story is set in modern day Houston, the story has many flashback scenes to the 1480's, 1644 and 1945 which are among the most significant periods of John Cook's life.
Often novels that frequently jump time periods can become confusing as you need to re-read for clarification.
Some authors denote differing time era's by using different fonts, thus making it easy to understand, but some do not.
Hunter's clarification is simple too, defining the different time periods of John Cook's past only coinciding at the start of a new chapter together with bold & clearly labelled headings stating either 'Present Day', Houston or naming 'Place & Time' (i.e. Germany 1945') in the past. Thus making it easier on his reader.
I RATE I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD
5 ⭐ OUT OF 5 ⭐
I Know This Series Will Only Get Better!
I Recommend Hunter Blain, This Book & The & Audio. Run Out & Buy Them Today. Luke Daniels Does A Fantastic Rendition You Wont Be Disappointed!!!
I received an ARC of this book from the author and purchased the Audible book myself. And this is my fair honest and impartial review as always.
Reviewed By : Jewelz Pederick.
🙋♀ ❤ From The 🤪 🇦🇺 📖🐛❗
(Bye Love From The Crazy Australian BookWorm)
April 20, 2020
Original take to the vampire genre.
I really liked the main character and his friends. The powers of this vampire series has been redone in an original and compelling way that will add to future stories. Well written with believable personalities. LOVE THE SNARK and pop culture references. Well done
I really liked the main character and his friends. The powers of this vampire series has been redone in an original and compelling way that will add to future stories. Well written with believable personalities. LOVE THE SNARK and pop culture references. Well done
May 4, 2020
Excellent read
Supernatural fans, V-wars fans and Blade fans will enjoy this work. It has a nice timing, funny moments a relatable and funny hero and it is action packed. I can't wait to read the next one
Supernatural fans, V-wars fans and Blade fans will enjoy this work. It has a nice timing, funny moments a relatable and funny hero and it is action packed. I can't wait to read the next one
July 10, 2020
Non-stop hilarity!
Ok ok... there aarreee some serious bits. But, there are elements of chuckles or full on LOL on every page! What a ride! Onward to the next book!
Ok ok... there aarreee some serious bits. But, there are elements of chuckles or full on LOL on every page! What a ride! Onward to the next book!
July 4, 2020
This is a new author for me and I really enjoyed this book. The characters are unique and I loved the dialogues between them. I’m not a huge fan of vampires, but John is likeable, smart, clever, fun, a hard worker and goes after evil. My favorite characters are John, and Depweg. Together they make an efficient team and are willing to risk all. This book is action-packed, with danger, death, mystery, suspense, vampires, faeries, battles, magic, revenge, demons, prophecy, werewolf, humor and lots of twist and turns.
March 20, 2021
What would you get if DeadPool, Blade, and Dean Winchester had a baby? A cocky, vampire, who hunts supernatural beings, with a thirst for revenge. Meet John Cook.
*****
Rating: 4 stars
Steam: 0 flames (this is not a romance)
Genre: Paranormal (this is not a romance) / Urban Fantasy
*****
So, let me state this one more time, THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE. Considering all I read is romance, I am not sure how this popped into my recommendations, but it did. I read the blurb and thought it sounds interesting, but then I read Hunter Blain's bio and teared up and knew I had to read John's book.
This book is filled with a sarcastic, smart-aleck vampire with a serious fascination with pop culture references, on a mission to find the man that killed his family. "I'm Glad You're Dead" takes you back in forth in time starting in the 1400's to present, illustrating the events that made John who he is today. The book is filled with interesting characters, an edge of your seat storyline, and more blood than I could ever wish for in a book!
Although I thought I had this book pegged, the twist at the ending had my jaw on the floor and I never saw it coming. "I'm Glad You're Dead" was entertaining, full of blood, guts, and gore…which I really enjoy not going to lie, and witty dialogue that made me chuckle often.
I enjoyed this book, and I will probably go back and read more of the series at a later date when I need a break from my favorite genre, romance. However, if you are looking for a snarky hero, with a sense of humor only he finds funny, and some interesting characters. I say give this one a try.
*****
Rating: 4 stars
Steam: 0 flames (this is not a romance)
Genre: Paranormal (this is not a romance) / Urban Fantasy
*****
So, let me state this one more time, THIS IS NOT A ROMANCE. Considering all I read is romance, I am not sure how this popped into my recommendations, but it did. I read the blurb and thought it sounds interesting, but then I read Hunter Blain's bio and teared up and knew I had to read John's book.
This book is filled with a sarcastic, smart-aleck vampire with a serious fascination with pop culture references, on a mission to find the man that killed his family. "I'm Glad You're Dead" takes you back in forth in time starting in the 1400's to present, illustrating the events that made John who he is today. The book is filled with interesting characters, an edge of your seat storyline, and more blood than I could ever wish for in a book!
Although I thought I had this book pegged, the twist at the ending had my jaw on the floor and I never saw it coming. "I'm Glad You're Dead" was entertaining, full of blood, guts, and gore…which I really enjoy not going to lie, and witty dialogue that made me chuckle often.
I enjoyed this book, and I will probably go back and read more of the series at a later date when I need a break from my favorite genre, romance. However, if you are looking for a snarky hero, with a sense of humor only he finds funny, and some interesting characters. I say give this one a try.
April 28, 2020
A Tongue in cheek, humorous Vampire story. Main character starts out in Ireland as a young man helping his father care for the land they own. After a British Camandor comes to arrest the father so as to confiscate thier lands, the son wants revenge. Narrator is Excellent and does a great job. I highly recommend this unusual & Humorous story.
July 6, 2020
Very good
Enjoyed this book from beginning to end very sharp wit and good pop culture references.
Can't wait to read the next book in the series
Enjoyed this book from beginning to end very sharp wit and good pop culture references.
Can't wait to read the next book in the series
July 31, 2020
I'm Glad You're Dead by Hunter Blain tells the story of John (not Johnathan) Cook, immortal vampire hellbent on protecting this world and making a good joke while doing so.
I discovered this series from an advertisement online, with the caption "Deadpool if he were a vampire." Of course this caught my attention, as those are two of my biggest keywords. I'm talking about "if" and "a" of course. I knew I had to read this, and I wasn't disappointed.
John has spent the better part of 500 years surviving in the background of society. He starts his unlife out with a horrendous tragedy, one he vows to seek revenge for. Things don't always go as planned though, and John finds himself stuck with eternity and nothing to do with it.
Why not save some people?
I enjoyed this vampire story greatly, as John was an amusing main character to follow. Beneath his wit and humor, there's a deep sorrow to him that's endearing. He's not just the bumbling bafoon others can perceive him as, but a man who has been dealt an extremely rough hand who chooses to keep his high spirits despite it. When he's given the opportunity to confront his past traumas, he's willing and ready to face any and all obstacles in his path.
My absolute favorite part of this book was his friendship with the werewolf Depweg. Their chemistry was hilarious and fun to read. Vampires and Werewolves don't always have to be enemies!
There were a few slow bits in the story, hence the offshoot from a perfect score, but they are not nearly enough to harm the story overall. I recommend this book to anyone looking for a good laugh in the midst of a bloody action scene.
I discovered this series from an advertisement online, with the caption "Deadpool if he were a vampire." Of course this caught my attention, as those are two of my biggest keywords. I'm talking about "if" and "a" of course. I knew I had to read this, and I wasn't disappointed.
John has spent the better part of 500 years surviving in the background of society. He starts his unlife out with a horrendous tragedy, one he vows to seek revenge for. Things don't always go as planned though, and John finds himself stuck with eternity and nothing to do with it.
Why not save some people?
I enjoyed this vampire story greatly, as John was an amusing main character to follow. Beneath his wit and humor, there's a deep sorrow to him that's endearing. He's not just the bumbling bafoon others can perceive him as, but a man who has been dealt an extremely rough hand who chooses to keep his high spirits despite it. When he's given the opportunity to confront his past traumas, he's willing and ready to face any and all obstacles in his path.
My absolute favorite part of this book was his friendship with the werewolf Depweg. Their chemistry was hilarious and fun to read. Vampires and Werewolves don't always have to be enemies!
There were a few slow bits in the story, hence the offshoot from a perfect score, but they are not nearly enough to harm the story overall. I recommend this book to anyone looking for a good laugh in the midst of a bloody action scene.
June 10, 2020
NEW ADVENTURE!
What a great introduction to a wonderful cast of characters.I got this book because it sounded good,but in reality it was great.On to the next story.I am excited by this book.
What a great introduction to a wonderful cast of characters.I got this book because it sounded good,but in reality it was great.On to the next story.I am excited by this book.
July 4, 2020
Not what I expected. WAY better.
Hunter Blain was recommended as new author to read.
I have say on to the next book John! New twist to vampires and werwolves. Depwig, I am sorry about Tiny Tim.
Hunter Blain was recommended as new author to read.
I have say on to the next book John! New twist to vampires and werwolves. Depwig, I am sorry about Tiny Tim.
September 30, 2020
I loved this book! I have no idea why Vampire stories are my favorite genre (I don't think that Vampires really have their own genre, but they should, am I right?)
Hunter Blain might have just created my new favorite Vampire with John Cook. He's snarky, full of great movie quotes, and doesn't take un-life too seriously! He's funny, smart, and full of himself at the same time.
I can't wait to delve into the rest of the series!!!
Hunter Blain might have just created my new favorite Vampire with John Cook. He's snarky, full of great movie quotes, and doesn't take un-life too seriously! He's funny, smart, and full of himself at the same time.
I can't wait to delve into the rest of the series!!!
March 13, 2020
This was a fun story that grabbed my attention right away. There were some very laugh out loud moments as well as some "get ya in the feels". Going to look for book 2 now
September 30, 2020
Good Stuff
I would have given 5 stars, but I am still new to the whole vampire thing. More of a wizard man myself
I would have given 5 stars, but I am still new to the whole vampire thing. More of a wizard man myself
August 8, 2020
Worth a read
It took me a while to get into this but I’m glad I stayed the course it’s a good romp an suppose my biggest issue was the main characters appearance as I kept seeing billy connelley with his different goatee an hair most bizarre.
It took me a while to get into this but I’m glad I stayed the course it’s a good romp an suppose my biggest issue was the main characters appearance as I kept seeing billy connelley with his different goatee an hair most bizarre.
June 26, 2020
This book was very good. The storyline was the best with twists and turns and interesting characters (especially the vampire). I rad it in one night and it kept me up until I finished at 2AM.
I liked the way the author sets the stage for characters to have one horrific problem after another and then have them (alone, together, etc) try to deal with them, in a gory, detailed yet (especially with the vamp) funny way.
I liked the way the author sets the stage for characters to have one horrific problem after another and then have them (alone, together, etc) try to deal with them, in a gory, detailed yet (especially with the vamp) funny way.
June 27, 2020
Adventure time with the world's last vampire.
Interesting world building in a snarky adventure story told first hand by the only vampire in existence. John may not be much of a hero but he's all we've got and probably more than we deserve. My only complaint would be the overuse of the Shatner style comma throught the book. Looking forward to the next installment!
Interesting world building in a snarky adventure story told first hand by the only vampire in existence. John may not be much of a hero but he's all we've got and probably more than we deserve. My only complaint would be the overuse of the Shatner style comma throught the book. Looking forward to the next installment!
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