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A Love by Numbers Story
When unlikely attraction blossoms between a twentysomething genderqueer tattoo artist and an older, small-town veterinarian, both are forced to face their pasts for a chance at a loving future.
Four years ago Padraig Donovan lost his husband, the only man he’d ever been with. Now his life consists of the work he loves, a big empty house, and the possibility of a lonely future.
Kaos’s experiments with makeup landed him in the hospital at the hands of his disapproving ex. With nowhere else to turn, he flees to Acker, Wisconsin… and runs into a sexy widower and the kindest man he’s ever met.
Padraig and Kaos know there’s something worth exploring between them, and as they raise a puppy and deal with the ups and downs of their respective jobs, they fit into each other’s lives in ways they never expected. Being with Kaos—who is so different than the guys he’s always been attracted to—opens up an exciting new world for Padraig. But can he convince Kaos to trust another man with his body… let alone his heart?
When unlikely attraction blossoms between a twentysomething genderqueer tattoo artist and an older, small-town veterinarian, both are forced to face their pasts for a chance at a loving future.
Four years ago Padraig Donovan lost his husband, the only man he’d ever been with. Now his life consists of the work he loves, a big empty house, and the possibility of a lonely future.
Kaos’s experiments with makeup landed him in the hospital at the hands of his disapproving ex. With nowhere else to turn, he flees to Acker, Wisconsin… and runs into a sexy widower and the kindest man he’s ever met.
Padraig and Kaos know there’s something worth exploring between them, and as they raise a puppy and deal with the ups and downs of their respective jobs, they fit into each other’s lives in ways they never expected. Being with Kaos—who is so different than the guys he’s always been attracted to—opens up an exciting new world for Padraig. But can he convince Kaos to trust another man with his body… let alone his heart?
222 pages, Paperback
First published July 23, 2019
16 people are currently reading
97 people want to read
About the author
Tia Fielding
68 books229 followersTia Fielding is a Finnish author who loves witty people, words, peppermint, sarcasm, autumn, and the tiny beautiful things in life.
Tia identifies as genderqueer but isn’t strict about pronouns. Why? Because luckily, in her native language there aren’t gender-specific pronouns.
These days, preferring to live in the middle of nowhere with her fur babies is as big of a part of her psyche as writing. Tia likes to recharge in nature and tends to watch where she’s going through her cell phone’s camera.
In 2013 Tia’s novel Falling Into Place was recognized by the industry’s Rainbow Awards in the Best LGBT Erotic Romance (Bobby Michaels Award) category.
In 2019, her novel Four (Love by Numbers #2) won a Rainbow Award in the Best Transgender Contemporary category.
Facebook Reader Group: facebook.com/groups/spoondrawer/
Twitter: @tiafielding
Email: tiafielding@gmail.com
Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/tiafielding
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
July 25, 2019
A Joyfully Jay review.
2.75 stars
I will forewarn you that this really can’t be considered a standalone novel since it relies heavily on the main characters from the first novel, Makai and Emil, and in particular, Makai’s history with Kaos. Therefore, if you haven’t read Ten, you may want to skip this review and do so first. For those who remember the previous novel, Kaos was Makai’s cellmate in prison and the two became best friends. Makai looked out after Kaos and helped him survive. Kaos is a tattoo artist who is also genderqueer—having days where he embraces his feminine side and others where he is comfortable as a man. The story tells us fairly quickly that Kaos goes by male pronouns and so I will do the same for this review.
Much of the story focuses on two main components—one is Padraig trying to come to terms with his ongoing grief and his attraction to Kaos. The other is Kaos trying to get beyond the trauma of the way in which his ex became violent and physically abusive every time he wore makeup or feminine clothing. Both broken men in some ways, their gradual fall into a relationship is not without its problems.
Read Sammy’s review in its entirety here.
2.75 stars
I will forewarn you that this really can’t be considered a standalone novel since it relies heavily on the main characters from the first novel, Makai and Emil, and in particular, Makai’s history with Kaos. Therefore, if you haven’t read Ten, you may want to skip this review and do so first. For those who remember the previous novel, Kaos was Makai’s cellmate in prison and the two became best friends. Makai looked out after Kaos and helped him survive. Kaos is a tattoo artist who is also genderqueer—having days where he embraces his feminine side and others where he is comfortable as a man. The story tells us fairly quickly that Kaos goes by male pronouns and so I will do the same for this review.
Much of the story focuses on two main components—one is Padraig trying to come to terms with his ongoing grief and his attraction to Kaos. The other is Kaos trying to get beyond the trauma of the way in which his ex became violent and physically abusive every time he wore makeup or feminine clothing. Both broken men in some ways, their gradual fall into a relationship is not without its problems.
Read Sammy’s review in its entirety here.
July 26, 2019
What a wonderful experience this was. I felt like a tourist. Walking through this special little town, waving at people, talking to the sheriff, walking past the diner, the post office, the vet clinic. It was all easy to visualize by the way this story was written.
There is so much story to tell. I don’t even know where to begin. The further into this story the deeper it goes, more complex.
Kaos packed his stuff and drives away. Away from his abusive partner, who couldn’t appreciate him for the beautiful genderfluid person he is, sometimes feeling more girly sometimes more like a guy and sometimes in between. He goes by he/him pronouns so that’s what I shall use.
He is driving to Acker, Wisconsin to Makai, his brother not by blood.
Acker is a small town with diverse and warm people. Kaos will live with Makai and his partner Emil, in their tiny home.
Padraig has one big home where, before his partner died, many people came.
At some crucial point in this story, he offers Kaos a room in his house to stay. Kaos accepts his offer.
Kaos’ life is complicated, he is traumatized and it takes a lot of strength and time to deal with this. Padraig, kind and genuine, seems, at first sight, an uncomplicated man who, besides his work as the local vet, has a simple life. When we get to know him there is so much more.
They don’t know why, from the first moment they laid eyes on each other, they were attracted.
Very slowly and very cautious they spend special time together. If only it were that simple.
After the introduction of the locals and the town, the story focused more on Kaos and Padraig.
They are kind and considerate with each other. Padraig’s job has a big part in this story. Their growing feelings and relationships aren’t an obvious one.
We meet Francis, a dear friend of Padraig, Makai, and Emil who are the most important people in Kaos’ his life. I understand they have their own story, so I HAVE to read Love by Numbers #1 Ten!
For me, Four is an extraordinary story and I think it’s because of the balance and consistency.
Substantively it was exceptionally balanced, the love, trauma, their past, and future, friendship, sexuality, dedication, work, and daily life. It was coherent and it felt real. Every part of this story was well developed. There was no rush and therefore had a comfortable flow. The surroundings were wonderfully described. All the diverse and engaging characters involved are special and they felt so honest and real. I want to find this tiny town and live there.
There is so much story to tell. I don’t even know where to begin. The further into this story the deeper it goes, more complex.
Kaos packed his stuff and drives away. Away from his abusive partner, who couldn’t appreciate him for the beautiful genderfluid person he is, sometimes feeling more girly sometimes more like a guy and sometimes in between. He goes by he/him pronouns so that’s what I shall use.
He is driving to Acker, Wisconsin to Makai, his brother not by blood.
Acker is a small town with diverse and warm people. Kaos will live with Makai and his partner Emil, in their tiny home.
Padraig has one big home where, before his partner died, many people came.
At some crucial point in this story, he offers Kaos a room in his house to stay. Kaos accepts his offer.
Kaos’ life is complicated, he is traumatized and it takes a lot of strength and time to deal with this. Padraig, kind and genuine, seems, at first sight, an uncomplicated man who, besides his work as the local vet, has a simple life. When we get to know him there is so much more.
They don’t know why, from the first moment they laid eyes on each other, they were attracted.
Very slowly and very cautious they spend special time together. If only it were that simple.
After the introduction of the locals and the town, the story focused more on Kaos and Padraig.
They are kind and considerate with each other. Padraig’s job has a big part in this story. Their growing feelings and relationships aren’t an obvious one.
We meet Francis, a dear friend of Padraig, Makai, and Emil who are the most important people in Kaos’ his life. I understand they have their own story, so I HAVE to read Love by Numbers #1 Ten!
For me, Four is an extraordinary story and I think it’s because of the balance and consistency.
Substantively it was exceptionally balanced, the love, trauma, their past, and future, friendship, sexuality, dedication, work, and daily life. It was coherent and it felt real. Every part of this story was well developed. There was no rush and therefore had a comfortable flow. The surroundings were wonderfully described. All the diverse and engaging characters involved are special and they felt so honest and real. I want to find this tiny town and live there.
March 4, 2024
3,5 Voto
Nayeli - per RFS
.
Kaos è giovane ma ha già sulle spalle diverse esperienze pesanti. Finito in prigione compiendo azioni illegali per mantenere la nonna che i servizi sociali non aiutavano, ha dovuto affrontare la frustrazione e l’impotenza di vederla morire mentre lui era bloccato in cella. Si è trasferito dall’amico Makai mentre cerca di riadattarsi alla vita normale, col desiderio di iniziare una nuova vita in cui può esplorare liberamente la propria identità non binaria e cercare di essere sempre più se stesso, lontano dall’ex violento che mal sopportava i suoi momenti femminili.
Doc è un uomo di mezza età e deve ancora riprendersi dalla perdita del marito, anche se sono già passati alcuni anni. Nel suo passato ci sono altri brutti ricordi che l’hanno segnato fisicamente, psicologicamente e socialmente, come il fatto di essere stato giovane negli anni di maggior diffusione dell’AIDS, la malattia “dei gay”, una “punizione divina” per quelli nati sbagliati come lui. L’attrazione per il nuovo arrivato in città, con il suo fascino androgino e l’alternare giornate in cui si sente più mascolino ad altre in cui si sente femminile, è del tutto inaspettata. Non solo per la prima volta dopo anni prova una sorta di risveglio dei sensi che annebbia il lutto, ma questo confonde le sue certezze sulle proprie preferenze, suggerendo interessi che non sospettava di avere. Scopriremo che c’è tutto un vaso di Pandora che deve essere scoperchiato sui motivi per cui non aveva mai esplorato appieno la propria sessualità e i propri “generi preferiti”.
Come per Doc, anche Kaos prova paure scatenate dai suoi stessi desideri: ama esplorare e sperimentare la propria identità, ma questo fa scattare il timore di ricevere un rifiuto dagli altri, se non vere e proprie reazioni violente come gli è già accaduto. Con Doc troverà un uomo abbastanza dolce e comprensivo da poter dimenticare gli abusi domestici subiti, sentendosi supportato nel suo modo di essere, senza essere sminuito o bullizzato.
«Spero che tu non lo stia facendo per colpa mia.» Padraig si accigliò leggermente. «Oh, no. Non proprio. Più che altro per comodità. Tra poco è ora di cena e tutto il resto.» «Okay, buono a sapersi. Io… non riesco a spiegare quanto tu sia bello, con o senza trucco, senza sembrare un perfetto idiota. Io…»
Rispetto al primo volume della serie ho trovato qualche analogia, in particolare nello stile, nel ritmo, negli animi spezzati e traumatizzati dei protagonisti, ma credo (evidentemente a differenza della critica, che l’ha premiato con un Rainbow Award nel 2019) che questo secondo episodio sia uscito peggio del precedente.
Ho trovato meno convincenti i traumi e le sofferenze di Doc e Kaos, prevalentemente perché per la maggior parte non vengono esplorati in modo approfondito, a eccezione dal PTSD conseguente alle violenze domestiche. Si tratta di disturbi meno invalidanti e gravi di quelli che pesavano sulle spalle di Makai ed Emil (nel loro caso era lo psicologo che li spingeva a fare un passo alla volta senza che si lasciassero prendere troppo dall’intensità irrazionale dell’attrazione), quindi ho trovato difficile credere che i protagonisti rimanessero tanto a lungo bloccati senza fare passi in avanti per iniziare una rinascita tanto attesa, facendomi pensare a una forzatura a scopo narrativo.
La narrazione si adagia su quotidianità, piccoli gesti, atti di cura al cucciolo (stavolta parliamo di cani anziché gatti). Tra i due uomini, una volta che per cause esterne si trovano a convivere, si sviluppa un’amicizia e senso di vicinanza e conforto non intimo ma fatto di abitudini, confidenze e intesa. L’evoluzione romantica della storia è lenta, faticosa e mentalizzata. Tanta fredda analisi di stati d’animo, paure e desideri, ma poco cuore.
L’idea di discutere delle rispettive posizioni dopo un semplice bacio sfuggito e non pianificato, il dover etichettare i sentimenti prima di fare un altro passo, e il verbalizzare l’intenzione di attendere per dare seguito a qualcosa che sembra sul punto di nascere mi sono parsi forzati, eccessivi e poco sentimentali.
Perfino nel paio di momenti in cui finalmente c’è un’evoluzione più fisica tra loro, i protagonisti non sembrano guidati da una travolgente passione, da un intenso fuoco che fa perdere la testa, ma si confrontano in modo razionale e pratico su modi, tecniche, tempi, posizioni, preferenze, timori. Per quanto tutto questo sia tenero e intimo, non riesce a trasmettere la potenza di un sentimento che poi viene dichiarato come “amore”, che vuole distaccarsi da un senso di affetto fraterno e confortevole.
Neppure il modo in cui l’ultimo grande ostacolo viene superato è riuscito a darmi conferma che il sentimento tra loro sia “vero amore”, dato che non sono riuscita a percepire un vero desiderio di cambiamento e una spinta decisa verso l’altro, capace di abbattere montagne e frantumare le paure più forti dentro se stessi, pur di stare con l’altro.
«Non c’è fretta. Buona giornata, ragazzi.» «Buona giornata,» disse Kaos, nonostante sentisse una strana fitta per essere stato etichettato come “ragazzo” da qualcuno. Succedeva di tanto in tanto. Qualcuno lo chiamava signore, ragazzo o uomo, e lui sentiva un brivido in sé. Di solito succedeva nei giorni più femminili, quindi si chiese se il giorno dopo sarebbe stato uno di quei giorni in cui si sarebbe svegliato con la voglia di indossare i suoi abiti femminili.
Come era già accaduto nel primo libro, la sensazione è che gli animali siano un po’ invadenti sulla trama. Sono carini e teneri, ma c’è un continuo riferimento al loro muoversi, ai loro bisogni, al loro interagire con i personaggi, e non solo come riempitivo nei momenti morti o per creare pause gestuali tra le battute dei dialoghi. Questo continuo essere presenti li rende veri e propri personaggi moventi che richiedono attenzioni (un po’ perplessa per la crociata a favore della castrazione dei cuccioli, ripetuta più volte, in entrambi i libri).
Il tema della differenza di età tra i protagonisti non è particolarmente esplorato, e non porta ostacoli particolari. La trama si concentra invece su quello della violenza domestica e naturalmente quello dell’identità gender fluid. Le conseguenze psicologiche dell’aver subito abusi, maltrattamenti e umiliazioni da parte di Kaos è profondo e ben esplorato. Il modo in cui, una volta libero, in un contesto di persone capaci di farlo sentire più forte e meno giudicato, riesce a esprimersi e a essere se stesso ogni giorno di più rappresenta un bel percorso di crescita verso l’autostima e l’amor proprio. Per quanto riguarda l’identità di genere, è stato piacevole e interessante poter percepire meglio lo stato d’animo di una persona che ha giornate in cui si sente uomo e altre in cui si sente donna, osservare il suo sentirsi oscillare tra identità diverse. Mi ha spinto a chiedermi come ci si possa sentire dovendo vivere in una realtà binaria, circondati da persone con pregiudizi e aspettative binarie.
Però forse un po’ troppo artefatto è l’atteggiamento di tutti personaggi che vi ruotano attorno: che siano principali o secondari, tutti agiscono, parlano, pensano, si relazionano nel modo giusto, ovvero con estremo rispetto, molta attenzione alle parole, usando i pronomi come camminando sulle uova, e riuscendo sempre ad anticipare il disagio dicendo la cosa giusta. Il mondo, però, è fatto anche di persone che non sono abituate alle persone queer, che possono fissare troppo o sorridere imbarazzate o facendo gaffe, o magari con le migliori intenzioni possono compiere errori o dire la cosa sbagliata. Per quanto forse l’idea di chi scrive è quella di mostrare un mondo “ideale e inclusivo” in cui un queer vorrebbe vivere, probabilmente avremmo percepito meglio le emozioni di Kaos se si fosse sentito approcciato nel modo sbagliato, per poi trovare insieme un modo inclusivo di relazionarsi.
Nayeli - per RFS
.
Kaos è giovane ma ha già sulle spalle diverse esperienze pesanti. Finito in prigione compiendo azioni illegali per mantenere la nonna che i servizi sociali non aiutavano, ha dovuto affrontare la frustrazione e l’impotenza di vederla morire mentre lui era bloccato in cella. Si è trasferito dall’amico Makai mentre cerca di riadattarsi alla vita normale, col desiderio di iniziare una nuova vita in cui può esplorare liberamente la propria identità non binaria e cercare di essere sempre più se stesso, lontano dall’ex violento che mal sopportava i suoi momenti femminili.
Doc è un uomo di mezza età e deve ancora riprendersi dalla perdita del marito, anche se sono già passati alcuni anni. Nel suo passato ci sono altri brutti ricordi che l’hanno segnato fisicamente, psicologicamente e socialmente, come il fatto di essere stato giovane negli anni di maggior diffusione dell’AIDS, la malattia “dei gay”, una “punizione divina” per quelli nati sbagliati come lui. L’attrazione per il nuovo arrivato in città, con il suo fascino androgino e l’alternare giornate in cui si sente più mascolino ad altre in cui si sente femminile, è del tutto inaspettata. Non solo per la prima volta dopo anni prova una sorta di risveglio dei sensi che annebbia il lutto, ma questo confonde le sue certezze sulle proprie preferenze, suggerendo interessi che non sospettava di avere. Scopriremo che c’è tutto un vaso di Pandora che deve essere scoperchiato sui motivi per cui non aveva mai esplorato appieno la propria sessualità e i propri “generi preferiti”.
Come per Doc, anche Kaos prova paure scatenate dai suoi stessi desideri: ama esplorare e sperimentare la propria identità, ma questo fa scattare il timore di ricevere un rifiuto dagli altri, se non vere e proprie reazioni violente come gli è già accaduto. Con Doc troverà un uomo abbastanza dolce e comprensivo da poter dimenticare gli abusi domestici subiti, sentendosi supportato nel suo modo di essere, senza essere sminuito o bullizzato.
«Spero che tu non lo stia facendo per colpa mia.» Padraig si accigliò leggermente. «Oh, no. Non proprio. Più che altro per comodità. Tra poco è ora di cena e tutto il resto.» «Okay, buono a sapersi. Io… non riesco a spiegare quanto tu sia bello, con o senza trucco, senza sembrare un perfetto idiota. Io…»
Rispetto al primo volume della serie ho trovato qualche analogia, in particolare nello stile, nel ritmo, negli animi spezzati e traumatizzati dei protagonisti, ma credo (evidentemente a differenza della critica, che l’ha premiato con un Rainbow Award nel 2019) che questo secondo episodio sia uscito peggio del precedente.
Ho trovato meno convincenti i traumi e le sofferenze di Doc e Kaos, prevalentemente perché per la maggior parte non vengono esplorati in modo approfondito, a eccezione dal PTSD conseguente alle violenze domestiche. Si tratta di disturbi meno invalidanti e gravi di quelli che pesavano sulle spalle di Makai ed Emil (nel loro caso era lo psicologo che li spingeva a fare un passo alla volta senza che si lasciassero prendere troppo dall’intensità irrazionale dell’attrazione), quindi ho trovato difficile credere che i protagonisti rimanessero tanto a lungo bloccati senza fare passi in avanti per iniziare una rinascita tanto attesa, facendomi pensare a una forzatura a scopo narrativo.
La narrazione si adagia su quotidianità, piccoli gesti, atti di cura al cucciolo (stavolta parliamo di cani anziché gatti). Tra i due uomini, una volta che per cause esterne si trovano a convivere, si sviluppa un’amicizia e senso di vicinanza e conforto non intimo ma fatto di abitudini, confidenze e intesa. L’evoluzione romantica della storia è lenta, faticosa e mentalizzata. Tanta fredda analisi di stati d’animo, paure e desideri, ma poco cuore.
L’idea di discutere delle rispettive posizioni dopo un semplice bacio sfuggito e non pianificato, il dover etichettare i sentimenti prima di fare un altro passo, e il verbalizzare l’intenzione di attendere per dare seguito a qualcosa che sembra sul punto di nascere mi sono parsi forzati, eccessivi e poco sentimentali.
Perfino nel paio di momenti in cui finalmente c’è un’evoluzione più fisica tra loro, i protagonisti non sembrano guidati da una travolgente passione, da un intenso fuoco che fa perdere la testa, ma si confrontano in modo razionale e pratico su modi, tecniche, tempi, posizioni, preferenze, timori. Per quanto tutto questo sia tenero e intimo, non riesce a trasmettere la potenza di un sentimento che poi viene dichiarato come “amore”, che vuole distaccarsi da un senso di affetto fraterno e confortevole.
Neppure il modo in cui l’ultimo grande ostacolo viene superato è riuscito a darmi conferma che il sentimento tra loro sia “vero amore”, dato che non sono riuscita a percepire un vero desiderio di cambiamento e una spinta decisa verso l’altro, capace di abbattere montagne e frantumare le paure più forti dentro se stessi, pur di stare con l’altro.
«Non c’è fretta. Buona giornata, ragazzi.» «Buona giornata,» disse Kaos, nonostante sentisse una strana fitta per essere stato etichettato come “ragazzo” da qualcuno. Succedeva di tanto in tanto. Qualcuno lo chiamava signore, ragazzo o uomo, e lui sentiva un brivido in sé. Di solito succedeva nei giorni più femminili, quindi si chiese se il giorno dopo sarebbe stato uno di quei giorni in cui si sarebbe svegliato con la voglia di indossare i suoi abiti femminili.
Come era già accaduto nel primo libro, la sensazione è che gli animali siano un po’ invadenti sulla trama. Sono carini e teneri, ma c’è un continuo riferimento al loro muoversi, ai loro bisogni, al loro interagire con i personaggi, e non solo come riempitivo nei momenti morti o per creare pause gestuali tra le battute dei dialoghi. Questo continuo essere presenti li rende veri e propri personaggi moventi che richiedono attenzioni (un po’ perplessa per la crociata a favore della castrazione dei cuccioli, ripetuta più volte, in entrambi i libri).
Il tema della differenza di età tra i protagonisti non è particolarmente esplorato, e non porta ostacoli particolari. La trama si concentra invece su quello della violenza domestica e naturalmente quello dell’identità gender fluid. Le conseguenze psicologiche dell’aver subito abusi, maltrattamenti e umiliazioni da parte di Kaos è profondo e ben esplorato. Il modo in cui, una volta libero, in un contesto di persone capaci di farlo sentire più forte e meno giudicato, riesce a esprimersi e a essere se stesso ogni giorno di più rappresenta un bel percorso di crescita verso l’autostima e l’amor proprio. Per quanto riguarda l’identità di genere, è stato piacevole e interessante poter percepire meglio lo stato d’animo di una persona che ha giornate in cui si sente uomo e altre in cui si sente donna, osservare il suo sentirsi oscillare tra identità diverse. Mi ha spinto a chiedermi come ci si possa sentire dovendo vivere in una realtà binaria, circondati da persone con pregiudizi e aspettative binarie.
Però forse un po’ troppo artefatto è l’atteggiamento di tutti personaggi che vi ruotano attorno: che siano principali o secondari, tutti agiscono, parlano, pensano, si relazionano nel modo giusto, ovvero con estremo rispetto, molta attenzione alle parole, usando i pronomi come camminando sulle uova, e riuscendo sempre ad anticipare il disagio dicendo la cosa giusta. Il mondo, però, è fatto anche di persone che non sono abituate alle persone queer, che possono fissare troppo o sorridere imbarazzate o facendo gaffe, o magari con le migliori intenzioni possono compiere errori o dire la cosa sbagliata. Per quanto forse l’idea di chi scrive è quella di mostrare un mondo “ideale e inclusivo” in cui un queer vorrebbe vivere, probabilmente avremmo percepito meglio le emozioni di Kaos se si fosse sentito approcciato nel modo sbagliato, per poi trovare insieme un modo inclusivo di relazionarsi.
March 6, 2020
Reviewed by Jenn For Diverse Reader
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Four by Tia Fielding takes us back to Acker, Wisconsin in book two in her Love by Numbers series. This time a friend from Makai’s (book one) past has come to town looking for a safe place to land.
Self-proclaimed genderqueer tattoo artist, Kaos is running from an abusive relationship. He needs a fresh start…he needs his family. Kaos’s family is his “big brother” and former cell mate, Makai. Kaos comes into town with a skirt, some makeup, and looking for acceptance. He hasn’t had the best of luck with people willing to treat him well and accept that some days he feels more feminine than others. But he’s putting his faith in Acker and hoping for the best. Kaos has talent for days, his tattoos are beautiful. He’s hoping a job and a place of his own will have him feeling safe and secure.
Padraig (Doc) Donovan is the local vet and a widower. He lost his husband four years ago, the only man he’s ever loved. Doc was a young gay man during the eighties and nineties and was terrified of the AIDS epidemic. Falling in love freshman year and sharing all their firsts together made getting married easy…he’d found “the one”. Life is rarely fair and Doc lost his husband very suddenly and just starts surviving rather than living. As he comes into the local diner one day for lunch, he sees a vision. A vision of a man wearing a skirt with soft makeup and he’s dumbstruck! He’s never been attracted to feminine men, to younger men…to any man besides his husband. Kaos and Doc get to know each other a bit and both find each other attractive. When Kaos accidentally triggers Emil while staying at Makai and Emil’s house, he runs to Padraig. Doc is the only person he knows to go to and he listens to Kaos…he really seems to understand him. As these two develop a friendship, both start to wonder if taking a chance on something more between them is something they’re ready for. With honesty, genuine kindness and some time, both men begin to flourish.
This second book may be my favorite of the series. I love the connection between Doc and Kaos, I love the fun they bring out of each other. Seeing Doc let go of the past is very emotional. Watching Kaos grow into exactly who he is in a safe and healthy environment is beautiful. These two make so much sense, looking at them that first meeting…you just know they’re going to win you over. I loved how this book made me feel. So much hope and seeing Doc free of fear and willing to love again…sigh. Such a great follow up to a wonderful series.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Four by Tia Fielding takes us back to Acker, Wisconsin in book two in her Love by Numbers series. This time a friend from Makai’s (book one) past has come to town looking for a safe place to land.
Self-proclaimed genderqueer tattoo artist, Kaos is running from an abusive relationship. He needs a fresh start…he needs his family. Kaos’s family is his “big brother” and former cell mate, Makai. Kaos comes into town with a skirt, some makeup, and looking for acceptance. He hasn’t had the best of luck with people willing to treat him well and accept that some days he feels more feminine than others. But he’s putting his faith in Acker and hoping for the best. Kaos has talent for days, his tattoos are beautiful. He’s hoping a job and a place of his own will have him feeling safe and secure.
Padraig (Doc) Donovan is the local vet and a widower. He lost his husband four years ago, the only man he’s ever loved. Doc was a young gay man during the eighties and nineties and was terrified of the AIDS epidemic. Falling in love freshman year and sharing all their firsts together made getting married easy…he’d found “the one”. Life is rarely fair and Doc lost his husband very suddenly and just starts surviving rather than living. As he comes into the local diner one day for lunch, he sees a vision. A vision of a man wearing a skirt with soft makeup and he’s dumbstruck! He’s never been attracted to feminine men, to younger men…to any man besides his husband. Kaos and Doc get to know each other a bit and both find each other attractive. When Kaos accidentally triggers Emil while staying at Makai and Emil’s house, he runs to Padraig. Doc is the only person he knows to go to and he listens to Kaos…he really seems to understand him. As these two develop a friendship, both start to wonder if taking a chance on something more between them is something they’re ready for. With honesty, genuine kindness and some time, both men begin to flourish.
This second book may be my favorite of the series. I love the connection between Doc and Kaos, I love the fun they bring out of each other. Seeing Doc let go of the past is very emotional. Watching Kaos grow into exactly who he is in a safe and healthy environment is beautiful. These two make so much sense, looking at them that first meeting…you just know they’re going to win you over. I loved how this book made me feel. So much hope and seeing Doc free of fear and willing to love again…sigh. Such a great follow up to a wonderful series.
July 31, 2019
4 stars
Four is the second book in the Love by Numbers series by Tia Fielding.
Jeremiah "Kaos" is a gender-fluid tattoo artist. Desperate for money he deals drugs, gets caught and does jail time where he meets Makai. After release he goes home to find his grandmother who raised him has passed away. He meets and dates an old friend who ends up being abusive. Scared for himself he drives to Makai for help putting his life back together.
Padraig Donovan is the veterinarian in the town where Makai has settled down. He owned a joint practice with his husband, a medical doctor who died 4 years ago.
Both men are broken for different reasons and they are both surprised to see a romantic connection between them. With a lot of ups and downs can they learn to trust each other?
I really liked Kaos - there are not enough books around with gender-fluid characters, although my favourite character was Hestia, who was such a sweet little puppy. I wish there was more interaction with Kaos and Joey (Joie); we do get some but it’s vague and I would have loved to see the introduction. Padraig, despite a brief freak-out, has to be one of the most even-tempered persons I've ever read about. His marriage was very complicated and I honestly don’t know why he stayed. There are comments about because of the AIDS epidemic, he and his husband stayed together to feel safe. However, he seemed to love Marcus (his husband) very much, but a comment about loving and not being in love with Marcus kind of left me confused. Overall I am happy Padraig and Kaos got together. It was a little fast for my liking but the ending was very satisfying.
Overall, this is a decent book, though I preferred the first. I assume the next book will feature Francis and Marcus and I think I will enjoy that. I really like Tia’s writing style, which has me reading most books she releases. I am in a hurry for the next book.
*** Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie by Dreamspinner Press for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. ***
Four is the second book in the Love by Numbers series by Tia Fielding.
Jeremiah "Kaos" is a gender-fluid tattoo artist. Desperate for money he deals drugs, gets caught and does jail time where he meets Makai. After release he goes home to find his grandmother who raised him has passed away. He meets and dates an old friend who ends up being abusive. Scared for himself he drives to Makai for help putting his life back together.
Padraig Donovan is the veterinarian in the town where Makai has settled down. He owned a joint practice with his husband, a medical doctor who died 4 years ago.
Both men are broken for different reasons and they are both surprised to see a romantic connection between them. With a lot of ups and downs can they learn to trust each other?
I really liked Kaos - there are not enough books around with gender-fluid characters, although my favourite character was Hestia, who was such a sweet little puppy. I wish there was more interaction with Kaos and Joey (Joie); we do get some but it’s vague and I would have loved to see the introduction. Padraig, despite a brief freak-out, has to be one of the most even-tempered persons I've ever read about. His marriage was very complicated and I honestly don’t know why he stayed. There are comments about because of the AIDS epidemic, he and his husband stayed together to feel safe. However, he seemed to love Marcus (his husband) very much, but a comment about loving and not being in love with Marcus kind of left me confused. Overall I am happy Padraig and Kaos got together. It was a little fast for my liking but the ending was very satisfying.
Overall, this is a decent book, though I preferred the first. I assume the next book will feature Francis and Marcus and I think I will enjoy that. I really like Tia’s writing style, which has me reading most books she releases. I am in a hurry for the next book.
*** Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie by Dreamspinner Press for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. ***
July 24, 2019
I was given a copy of this book to read and review for Wicked Reads.
This is the story of the unlikely romance that develops between a young tattoo artist and a much older veterinarian in a small town. It is also a story about grief, loss and fresh starts.
Genderqueer Kaos is a tattoo artist and an ex-con on the run from his abusive ex. Padraig is a small town vet who has become increasingly isolated since losing his husband of more than twenty years. Neither Kaos or Padraig expects the flash of attraction between them and there’s a whole lot of baggage (and a twenty-year age gap) to overcome before the attraction could ever become something more.
This isn’t a light or easy read. Padraig’s grief is overwhelming and his emotions become even more complicated when he starts to reflect more honestly on his marriage. Kaos is still exploring his gender identity and he’s internalised some of the negative beliefs of his abusive ex. Neither Padraig or Kaos is great with communication and there are times it’s left to their friends to help them understand each other’s perspectives. This also isn’t a sexy read. The relationship that develops between Kaos and Padraig is painfully slow and focuses much more on emotional intimacy than sexual intimacy.
The characters around Kaos and Padraig keep the story from becoming too dark. I’ve not read the previous book in the series but Makai and Emil from the first book provide huge support for Kaos. Similarly, Padraig’s best friend Francis (probably book 3) adds humour and emotional support for Padraig. I love Padraig and Kaos’ dog (I’ve been googling Pitskys since I finished the story). I really enjoyed Acker as a town and I’m looking forward to seeing more of some of the characters.
This is the story of the unlikely romance that develops between a young tattoo artist and a much older veterinarian in a small town. It is also a story about grief, loss and fresh starts.
Genderqueer Kaos is a tattoo artist and an ex-con on the run from his abusive ex. Padraig is a small town vet who has become increasingly isolated since losing his husband of more than twenty years. Neither Kaos or Padraig expects the flash of attraction between them and there’s a whole lot of baggage (and a twenty-year age gap) to overcome before the attraction could ever become something more.
This isn’t a light or easy read. Padraig’s grief is overwhelming and his emotions become even more complicated when he starts to reflect more honestly on his marriage. Kaos is still exploring his gender identity and he’s internalised some of the negative beliefs of his abusive ex. Neither Padraig or Kaos is great with communication and there are times it’s left to their friends to help them understand each other’s perspectives. This also isn’t a sexy read. The relationship that develops between Kaos and Padraig is painfully slow and focuses much more on emotional intimacy than sexual intimacy.
The characters around Kaos and Padraig keep the story from becoming too dark. I’ve not read the previous book in the series but Makai and Emil from the first book provide huge support for Kaos. Similarly, Padraig’s best friend Francis (probably book 3) adds humour and emotional support for Padraig. I love Padraig and Kaos’ dog (I’ve been googling Pitskys since I finished the story). I really enjoyed Acker as a town and I’m looking forward to seeing more of some of the characters.
February 23, 2022
De retour à Acker, avec l'arrivée de Kaos, le frère de cœur de Makai dont nous avons fait la connaissance dans le premier tome de la série. Les tomes peuvent se lire de façon indépendante, mais je conseillerais de lire d'abord l'histoire de Makai pour mieux appréhender sa relation avec Kaos.
Voilà donc Kaos qui quitte ce qui faisait sa vie : son job de tatoueur, son ex violent et abusif et sa patronne-amie, qui se révèle être la sœur du dit ex. Il est accueilli à bras ouverts par Makai, son frère de cœur, sans doute la personne dont il est le plus proche au monde. Kaos a partagé la cellule de Makai durant quelques mois, ça crée des liens, surtout avec la personnalité si douce et protectrice de Makai.
Quand il croise le regard du vétérinaire de la ville, il se dit qu'une fois de plus, on le regarde bizarrement : il est non-binaire, il aime, certains jours, se maquiller, met du vernis à ongles et s'habille comme il en a envie en fonction de son humeur du matin, plus féminine ou plus masculine.
En fin de quarantaine, Padraig, le vétérinaire d'Acker, est veuf depuis 4 ans. Son mari, Marcus, son premier et seul amour, est mort et il peine encore à faire son deuil, il a d'ailleurs coupé les ponts avec tous leurs amis, trop dur de voir ceux qu'ils fréquentaient ensemble. Quand il croise le regard de ce tout jeune homme, il a l'impression, pour la première fois depuis 4 ans, de ressentir à nouveau, de respirer...
A l'origine bien malgré lui (avec une pizza...) d'une crise de panique chez Emil, le compagnon de Makai, Kaos se réfugie chez Padraig, instinctivement. Cet homme calme, posé, rassurant, lui paraît être un abri et un refuge. Et Padraig lui propose alors un hébergement, dans l'immense maison qu'il occupe maintenant tout seul. La colocation se passe plutôt bien, Kaos trouvant un travail au salon de tatouage de la ville voisine, et peu à peu, ils commencent à se rapprocher. Mais si Kaos a peur de faire confiance et rêve de quelqu'un qui l'accepte entièrement, Padraig a lui aussi du mal à envisager d'entamer une relation avec un aussi jeune homme, tellement fascinant et attirant, il a l'impression de trahir son mari. Les révélations de Francis, un vieil ami de Padraig, de retour dans sa vie, pourraient bien les aider à y voir plus clair et à avancer.
J'avais bien aimé le premier tome et j'ai tout autant apprécié cette suite. Tout d'abord, quelle jolie ville qu'Acker, tout en tolérance et en acceptation, un vrai petit paradis. J'ai eu plaisir à retrouver Makai et Emil, et constater, malgré la pizza, les progrès du jeune homme. On retrouve quand même un peu de similitudes entre les deux couples : la différence d'âge, les casseroles du passé, le dialogue et la communication pour avancer. La romance entre les deux hommes est plutôt douce, l'auteur ne tombe pas dans les clichés (retour de l'ex, ...) et introduit Francis, l'ami de Padraig pour le tome suivant.
Je regrette deux choses : comme le premier tome, pourquoi ne pas garder les titres originaux, bien plus raccords à l'histoire, le titre de ce tome était Four, de la série A love by numbers story. Je trouve vraiment que le titre français fait agence de rencontres.
L'autre chose que je déplore c'est la forme du roman : des mots barrés, des tournures de phrases lourdes, bref, une version sans doute qui aurait du passer une dernière fois entre les mains d'un correcteur, ce qui n'a pas été fait. Dommage, dommage. J'espère que le tome suivant, s'il est traduit, sera de meilleure qualité.
Voilà donc Kaos qui quitte ce qui faisait sa vie : son job de tatoueur, son ex violent et abusif et sa patronne-amie, qui se révèle être la sœur du dit ex. Il est accueilli à bras ouverts par Makai, son frère de cœur, sans doute la personne dont il est le plus proche au monde. Kaos a partagé la cellule de Makai durant quelques mois, ça crée des liens, surtout avec la personnalité si douce et protectrice de Makai.
Quand il croise le regard du vétérinaire de la ville, il se dit qu'une fois de plus, on le regarde bizarrement : il est non-binaire, il aime, certains jours, se maquiller, met du vernis à ongles et s'habille comme il en a envie en fonction de son humeur du matin, plus féminine ou plus masculine.
En fin de quarantaine, Padraig, le vétérinaire d'Acker, est veuf depuis 4 ans. Son mari, Marcus, son premier et seul amour, est mort et il peine encore à faire son deuil, il a d'ailleurs coupé les ponts avec tous leurs amis, trop dur de voir ceux qu'ils fréquentaient ensemble. Quand il croise le regard de ce tout jeune homme, il a l'impression, pour la première fois depuis 4 ans, de ressentir à nouveau, de respirer...
A l'origine bien malgré lui (avec une pizza...) d'une crise de panique chez Emil, le compagnon de Makai, Kaos se réfugie chez Padraig, instinctivement. Cet homme calme, posé, rassurant, lui paraît être un abri et un refuge. Et Padraig lui propose alors un hébergement, dans l'immense maison qu'il occupe maintenant tout seul. La colocation se passe plutôt bien, Kaos trouvant un travail au salon de tatouage de la ville voisine, et peu à peu, ils commencent à se rapprocher. Mais si Kaos a peur de faire confiance et rêve de quelqu'un qui l'accepte entièrement, Padraig a lui aussi du mal à envisager d'entamer une relation avec un aussi jeune homme, tellement fascinant et attirant, il a l'impression de trahir son mari. Les révélations de Francis, un vieil ami de Padraig, de retour dans sa vie, pourraient bien les aider à y voir plus clair et à avancer.
J'avais bien aimé le premier tome et j'ai tout autant apprécié cette suite. Tout d'abord, quelle jolie ville qu'Acker, tout en tolérance et en acceptation, un vrai petit paradis. J'ai eu plaisir à retrouver Makai et Emil, et constater, malgré la pizza, les progrès du jeune homme. On retrouve quand même un peu de similitudes entre les deux couples : la différence d'âge, les casseroles du passé, le dialogue et la communication pour avancer. La romance entre les deux hommes est plutôt douce, l'auteur ne tombe pas dans les clichés (retour de l'ex, ...) et introduit Francis, l'ami de Padraig pour le tome suivant.
Je regrette deux choses : comme le premier tome, pourquoi ne pas garder les titres originaux, bien plus raccords à l'histoire, le titre de ce tome était Four, de la série A love by numbers story. Je trouve vraiment que le titre français fait agence de rencontres.
L'autre chose que je déplore c'est la forme du roman : des mots barrés, des tournures de phrases lourdes, bref, une version sans doute qui aurait du passer une dernière fois entre les mains d'un correcteur, ce qui n'a pas été fait. Dommage, dommage. J'espère que le tome suivant, s'il est traduit, sera de meilleure qualité.
July 9, 2019
Caveat: There are a lot of triggers in this story… but they are handled in such a way as to make the story readable for most people. There are some who may still react to some of the issues. Be aware that there are subjects of PTSD, abuse, violence, and more – but told as in the past by characters saying what happened to them in the past, not present.
This was a difficult story to read, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good story. It really is. The characters are believable and sympathetic. The world building—a small town—is done well, giving you a brief look into the lives of the people who live there.
The story is basically about two men—Kaos and Padraig (Paddy). Kaos is a young person who is gender fluid with a past (as are all the characters in this story). An ex-con, he was in an abusive relationship. He finally got the nerve to leave and move to Acker to be with his friend (and ex-cellmate) Makai and Makai’s mate, and then he meets Paddy. Paddy is the town vet, 47 years old (a good 20 years older than Kaos) who was married for 23 years to Marcus. Marcus died and Paddy turned in on himself. Then he meets Kaos and his world is turned upside down. (Please note: the author tells the reader from the outset that Kaos is fine with the he/him designation so I am using that here).
This is a simple story about the men, their friends, their pasts, their current life, and possible futures. It’s not your standard romance. Kaos has girly days and boy days and Paddy (and others in town) have to learn to accept him as he is. Kaos has to learn how to accept that no everyone is violent and that gentle love can and does exist. This story has a lot of love, forgiveness, acceptance, and looks into the human spirit.
As noted above, there are a lot triggers in this book which needs to be noted for some readers, but they are not heavily on the page. They are triggers the characters experience due to their pasts and how they deal with them.
Still, it is a good story and has a satisfying end that shows that even the most broken people can be put back together—maybe with a few cracks here and there, but the glue of love eventually heals all.
Note: I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review
This was a difficult story to read, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good story. It really is. The characters are believable and sympathetic. The world building—a small town—is done well, giving you a brief look into the lives of the people who live there.
The story is basically about two men—Kaos and Padraig (Paddy). Kaos is a young person who is gender fluid with a past (as are all the characters in this story). An ex-con, he was in an abusive relationship. He finally got the nerve to leave and move to Acker to be with his friend (and ex-cellmate) Makai and Makai’s mate, and then he meets Paddy. Paddy is the town vet, 47 years old (a good 20 years older than Kaos) who was married for 23 years to Marcus. Marcus died and Paddy turned in on himself. Then he meets Kaos and his world is turned upside down. (Please note: the author tells the reader from the outset that Kaos is fine with the he/him designation so I am using that here).
This is a simple story about the men, their friends, their pasts, their current life, and possible futures. It’s not your standard romance. Kaos has girly days and boy days and Paddy (and others in town) have to learn to accept him as he is. Kaos has to learn how to accept that no everyone is violent and that gentle love can and does exist. This story has a lot of love, forgiveness, acceptance, and looks into the human spirit.
As noted above, there are a lot triggers in this book which needs to be noted for some readers, but they are not heavily on the page. They are triggers the characters experience due to their pasts and how they deal with them.
Still, it is a good story and has a satisfying end that shows that even the most broken people can be put back together—maybe with a few cracks here and there, but the glue of love eventually heals all.
Note: I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review
July 29, 2019
ARC provided by the publisher through Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words in exchange for an impartial review.
After fleeing from an abusive relationship, genderqueer Kaos is welcomed by friends Makai and Emil (book one –Ten) who give him a safe place to stay while he looks for part-time work until he can get a Wisconsin tattoo license. There he meets veterinarian Padraig Donovan, a silver fox who lost his husband four years before and is still having trouble getting used to being alone.
Padraig is stunned when he meets Kaos (who happens to be more feminine that day) since he’s never given a moment of attraction to anyone with feminine qualities before. But everything about Kaos appeals to him and soon they’ve become friends, then friends who kiss and cuddle, and eventually more. But it takes a long time to get there and an equally long time for Padraig to come to terms with his grief and for Kaos to accept his own reactions to his second chance for love.
This is a May-December, slow burn, second chance love story. There’s a lot to like here and the author did a lovely job building the characters and allowing their relationship to develop. And there was plenty of puppy love as the couple adopted and trained a mutt so those who love men with pets stories should love this as well. On a dark note, there was an underlying dramatic turn of events involving a break-in at the vet’s office and a scene describing animal abuse.
But the overall story offers hope and a sweet romance so those who look for age gap and hurt-comfort MM romance should enjoy this one.
After fleeing from an abusive relationship, genderqueer Kaos is welcomed by friends Makai and Emil (book one –Ten) who give him a safe place to stay while he looks for part-time work until he can get a Wisconsin tattoo license. There he meets veterinarian Padraig Donovan, a silver fox who lost his husband four years before and is still having trouble getting used to being alone.
Padraig is stunned when he meets Kaos (who happens to be more feminine that day) since he’s never given a moment of attraction to anyone with feminine qualities before. But everything about Kaos appeals to him and soon they’ve become friends, then friends who kiss and cuddle, and eventually more. But it takes a long time to get there and an equally long time for Padraig to come to terms with his grief and for Kaos to accept his own reactions to his second chance for love.
This is a May-December, slow burn, second chance love story. There’s a lot to like here and the author did a lovely job building the characters and allowing their relationship to develop. And there was plenty of puppy love as the couple adopted and trained a mutt so those who love men with pets stories should love this as well. On a dark note, there was an underlying dramatic turn of events involving a break-in at the vet’s office and a scene describing animal abuse.
But the overall story offers hope and a sweet romance so those who look for age gap and hurt-comfort MM romance should enjoy this one.
July 15, 2019
This series delves into quite a few issues, but they are all so very well dealt with, it actually adds to the emotional undercurrent and provides a bond between characters that is unique and strong.
Padraig is the town veterinarian and is beloved and respected by most everyone. Lately, though, he's been feeling lonely. His partner died a handful of years ago, and he's finally getting over the loss. But he still has his triggers. And when he does, he calls his best friend to help give him a shot of reality.
Kaos has been out of jail for a while and has finally come to Wisconsin to see his friend/brother Makai. He's young, but when he glimpses the older veterinarian in town, he's definitely interested in learning more about him.
When Padraig offers to rent a room to Kaos, they decide to take things slow. Both have a past that continues to haunt them and neither wants to ruin this chance.
There was so much packed into this story that it was trying at times. As far as the adultery, assault and grief issues went, the story was genuine and romantic. I loved the pace that both characters set and agreed on for themselves. And I loved the little pushes that friends gave them to continue growing their relationship.
Towards the end, it just seemed like things kept coming up the detracted from the story for me. And then the ending seemed abrupt. It was a good ending, but I was so engrossed in the story that I wanted a bit more.
I can't wait to read the next book in the series and find out more about the closeted officer!
*Galley copy generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review. Cross posted to http://gaybook.reviews/*
Padraig is the town veterinarian and is beloved and respected by most everyone. Lately, though, he's been feeling lonely. His partner died a handful of years ago, and he's finally getting over the loss. But he still has his triggers. And when he does, he calls his best friend to help give him a shot of reality.
Kaos has been out of jail for a while and has finally come to Wisconsin to see his friend/brother Makai. He's young, but when he glimpses the older veterinarian in town, he's definitely interested in learning more about him.
When Padraig offers to rent a room to Kaos, they decide to take things slow. Both have a past that continues to haunt them and neither wants to ruin this chance.
There was so much packed into this story that it was trying at times. As far as the adultery, assault and grief issues went, the story was genuine and romantic. I loved the pace that both characters set and agreed on for themselves. And I loved the little pushes that friends gave them to continue growing their relationship.
Towards the end, it just seemed like things kept coming up the detracted from the story for me. And then the ending seemed abrupt. It was a good ending, but I was so engrossed in the story that I wanted a bit more.
I can't wait to read the next book in the series and find out more about the closeted officer!
*Galley copy generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review. Cross posted to http://gaybook.reviews/*
July 12, 2019
Tia Fielding's Four is an stunning book. Despite taking me a while to really get into this story, it's amazing.
Tia Fielding excels at warming my heart with these two unlikely lovers. The pace is slow, but for this story it works. With a thoughtful and sensitive tone, it's slow without being too descriptive.
Padraig's reaction to the beautiful, non-binary Kaos is immediate and strong. Having never been attracted to a feminine person, I love his acceptance of Kaos' clothes, makeup, and lace. Their age difference is also wonderful and a very entertaining. In different stages of life, these two men coming together just warms my heart.
The sexual tension is high throughout, and once they get together, you won't be disappointed.
There's so much depth to this novel. Not just a romance, it focuses on non-binary issues, repressed homophobia, and abuse. It focuses on cheating and grief, pain and hurt, racism and bigotry.
One of my favorite aspects of this tale is the slow burn development. Their friendship and connection grows quickly, but they are each treating their attraction with caution. I respect the hell out of this. Both men have been hurt in the past, and I appreciate their ability to take things slow. These two broken men need to slowly heal, and recover from their scars, before truly moving forward.
And, wow, if you like puppies, you will love their little pup. There's some serious cuteness involved.
Overall, I highly recommend Four. Tia Fielding excels in creating a meaningful story full of pain, hurt, healing, and love. It's a beautiful story, but definitely one to be read when you're looking for a serious, slow read.
July 16, 2019
¸.•´¸★*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.★¨*.¸¸.•`★¤3.5 stars¤★¨*.¸¸.*ˑ˞★
Do I expect a lot when I chose a book to read? I think so. I want to be entertained and feel as if I am a part of the story. Sometimes I expect drama, angst, or plain old unexpected comedy. Unless it's the rare author I have grown to know, I can expect more or less.
For me, I have read one or two of Tia Fielding's books before. I was hella excited to discover the follow up to Ten which sounded so good. What I got was a very comfortable, very slow burn, easy on the angst and discovery book.
Jeremiah, AKA Kaos, was a tattoo artist who made his escape to small town America to prevent another day of abuse. He was very open about both his feelings and time spent locked away. His drama stemmed from his attraction to Padriag and how he was feeling in the morning, boy or girl.
For Padriag, the town's older Veternarian, Kaos's entry into his world brought him back to life. Set in his ways, he had a lot of reflecting to do. But somehow, with the secondary characters, they made what was happening between them work with little hiccups.
I voluntarily and honestly reviewed this book without bias or persuasion from Dreamspinner Press
Reviewed by Cee from Alpha Book Club
(¸.★¨*.¸¸.•`★¤3.5 stars¤★¨*.¸¸.*ˑ˞★
Do I expect a lot when I chose a book to read? I think so. I want to be entertained and feel as if I am a part of the story. Sometimes I expect drama, angst, or plain old unexpected comedy. Unless it's the rare author I have grown to know, I can expect more or less.
For me, I have read one or two of Tia Fielding's books before. I was hella excited to discover the follow up to Ten which sounded so good. What I got was a very comfortable, very slow burn, easy on the angst and discovery book.
Jeremiah, AKA Kaos, was a tattoo artist who made his escape to small town America to prevent another day of abuse. He was very open about both his feelings and time spent locked away. His drama stemmed from his attraction to Padriag and how he was feeling in the morning, boy or girl.
For Padriag, the town's older Veternarian, Kaos's entry into his world brought him back to life. Set in his ways, he had a lot of reflecting to do. But somehow, with the secondary characters, they made what was happening between them work with little hiccups.
I voluntarily and honestly reviewed this book without bias or persuasion from Dreamspinner Press
Reviewed by Cee from Alpha Book Club
September 28, 2020
I find these books to be really comforting. The characters have terrible events in their pasts (prison, loss of a spouse, abuse, the AIDS epidemic, gay bashing) but that is somewhat vaguely described and definitely in the past. Nothing much happens in the story except slow recovery and love.
I was a little uncomfortable with racial generalizing in the description of the motivations of an abusive ex. I don't really want to examine an abuser's mind, but this seemed like shorthand.
I was a little uncomfortable with racial generalizing in the description of the motivations of an abusive ex. I don't really want to examine an abuser's mind, but this seemed like shorthand.
May 16, 2020
Definitely part of a series, as this story flows in continuation from book one. Each book moving deeper into another aspect of the lgbtq plus community, triggers abound so a warning there. I really enjoyed the development of the relationship it wasn’t rushed, the pitsky (you’ll see) was a bonus.
July 29, 2019
3.5 stars
Slow burn. Felt like a lot of telling because lots of side stories going on and they had to be followed up on. Looking forward to Francis’ book.
Slow burn. Felt like a lot of telling because lots of side stories going on and they had to be followed up on. Looking forward to Francis’ book.
July 20, 2024
Ed eccomi qui al secondo volume della serie.
Anche con Quattro, la Fielding mi ha coinvolta, mi ha commossa e sono stata più che soddisfatta di essermi imbattuta in questi personaggi
Kaos e Padraig non possono essere più differenti, eppure entrambi hanno ferite che non danno loro la certezza di voler riprovare ad essere felici, perché la paura di ritrovarsi a farsi male è sempre lì nel cuore e nella mente.
Però si sa che l'amore è la cura per ogni cosa, soprattutto per chi ha sofferto e per chi decide di mettersi alla prova.
Kaos è singolare in ogni suo gesto, Padraig è senza peli sulla lingua in ogni sua risposta, non dimenticate i loro amici e allora siamo davanti ad un mix esplosivo che dà gioia al cuore.
Una storia che non dovete perdere e, come con il primo volume, lo consiglio vivamente.
Alla prossima
4 stelle e mezzo
Anche con Quattro, la Fielding mi ha coinvolta, mi ha commossa e sono stata più che soddisfatta di essermi imbattuta in questi personaggi
Kaos e Padraig non possono essere più differenti, eppure entrambi hanno ferite che non danno loro la certezza di voler riprovare ad essere felici, perché la paura di ritrovarsi a farsi male è sempre lì nel cuore e nella mente.
Però si sa che l'amore è la cura per ogni cosa, soprattutto per chi ha sofferto e per chi decide di mettersi alla prova.
Kaos è singolare in ogni suo gesto, Padraig è senza peli sulla lingua in ogni sua risposta, non dimenticate i loro amici e allora siamo davanti ad un mix esplosivo che dà gioia al cuore.
Una storia che non dovete perdere e, come con il primo volume, lo consiglio vivamente.
Alla prossima
4 stelle e mezzo
July 22, 2024
Ed eccomi qui al secondo volume della serie.
Anche con Quattro, la Fielding mi ha coinvolta, mi ha commossa e sono stata più che soddisfatta di essermi imbattuta in questi personaggi
Kaos e Padraig non possono essere più differenti, eppure entrambi hanno ferite che non danno loro la certezza di voler riprovare ad essere felici, perché la paura di ritrovarsi a farsi male è sempre lì nel cuore e nella mente.
Però si sa che l'amore è la cura per ogni cosa, soprattutto per chi ha sofferto e per chi decide di mettersi alla prova.
Kaos è singolare in ogni suo gesto, Padraig è senza peli sulla lingua in ogni sua risposta, non dimenticate i loro amici e allora siamo davanti ad un mix esplosivo che dà gioia al cuore.
Una storia che non dovete perdere e, come con il primo volume, lo consiglio vivamente.
Alla prossima
4 stelle e mezzo
Anche con Quattro, la Fielding mi ha coinvolta, mi ha commossa e sono stata più che soddisfatta di essermi imbattuta in questi personaggi
Kaos e Padraig non possono essere più differenti, eppure entrambi hanno ferite che non danno loro la certezza di voler riprovare ad essere felici, perché la paura di ritrovarsi a farsi male è sempre lì nel cuore e nella mente.
Però si sa che l'amore è la cura per ogni cosa, soprattutto per chi ha sofferto e per chi decide di mettersi alla prova.
Kaos è singolare in ogni suo gesto, Padraig è senza peli sulla lingua in ogni sua risposta, non dimenticate i loro amici e allora siamo davanti ad un mix esplosivo che dà gioia al cuore.
Una storia che non dovete perdere e, come con il primo volume, lo consiglio vivamente.
Alla prossima
4 stelle e mezzo
January 18, 2024
4+
Bello anche questo, sto apprezzando sempre di più questa autrice.
Mi piace l’atmosfera da paesino americano che accetta tutti, e mi piace che si trovino sempre personaggi interessanti. Francis sarà il prossimo e non vedo l’ora.
I due protagonisti di questo libro sono stupendi, vent’anni di differenza ma non li sentono. Uno solitario, disilluso e abbastanza timido e l’altro giovane ma con un’anima vissuta perché tante cose nella sua vita sono andate in malo modo. Ho adorato come hanno accettato il cane, la loro principessa, e la hanno cresciuta insieme quando ancora non sapevano se sarebbero stati una coppia.
Ora non vedo l’ora di leggere il prossimo.
Brava Tia
Bello anche questo, sto apprezzando sempre di più questa autrice.
Mi piace l’atmosfera da paesino americano che accetta tutti, e mi piace che si trovino sempre personaggi interessanti. Francis sarà il prossimo e non vedo l’ora.
I due protagonisti di questo libro sono stupendi, vent’anni di differenza ma non li sentono. Uno solitario, disilluso e abbastanza timido e l’altro giovane ma con un’anima vissuta perché tante cose nella sua vita sono andate in malo modo. Ho adorato come hanno accettato il cane, la loro principessa, e la hanno cresciuta insieme quando ancora non sapevano se sarebbero stati una coppia.
Ora non vedo l’ora di leggere il prossimo.
Brava Tia
September 3, 2021
This book felt a little disjointed….
Unlike the first book, this one did not concentrate solely on the main couple. Too much setup for the third book was included. Also, Padraig and Kaos never really had a big discussion about their past traumas. They revealed their pasts in bits and pieces. It would have saved time and pages if they had gotten it all out in the open at the beginning of the relationship.
This book also received a visit from the Drama Llama. The incident with Padraig at the clinic was unnecessary and should have been left in the Word delete bin.
Unlike the first book, this one did not concentrate solely on the main couple. Too much setup for the third book was included. Also, Padraig and Kaos never really had a big discussion about their past traumas. They revealed their pasts in bits and pieces. It would have saved time and pages if they had gotten it all out in the open at the beginning of the relationship.
This book also received a visit from the Drama Llama. The incident with Padraig at the clinic was unnecessary and should have been left in the Word delete bin.
July 5, 2020
I wish Padraig wasn't so hung up on Marcus for almost the entire book. Kinda brought me out of the story a few times. Not so sure about Francis coming up here. Kind of icky. I don't know.
December 29, 2025
Not for me
I barely hung on with book one and with this one I just couldn't get into it. I didn't care for Kao's and his story was. It was not believe able and it felt like he had a chip on his shoulder and I liked Doc until he just felt like the same and whinny. I don't think I will finish the series.
I barely hung on with book one and with this one I just couldn't get into it. I didn't care for Kao's and his story was. It was not believe able and it felt like he had a chip on his shoulder and I liked Doc until he just felt like the same and whinny. I don't think I will finish the series.
March 17, 2023
3.7 I think I read this before. Now that I read the other 2 it was nice to read this as part of that. I think I liked the other 2 more but maybe because I read this already and it's not quite a reread for me. I did enjoy reading the overlap scenes from the other 2 books from different perspective. All in all an enjoyable trilogy.
August 29, 2023
Love Worth Fighting For
Padraig and Kaos have suffered in the past.
Mentally and physically the trauma still rears its ugly head.
Fortunately they've found each other and their love will grow and sustain them.
Padraig and Kaos have suffered in the past.
Mentally and physically the trauma still rears its ugly head.
Fortunately they've found each other and their love will grow and sustain them.
December 26, 2021
A sweet story.
January 29, 2023
Oh boy I love Kaos so much. He is so fragile and yet so strong. I love Padraig and kaos, they completely each other in a perfect way.
January 22, 2024
Tre stelline e mezzo.
February 21, 2020
3.5 stars
November 6, 2021
a hangulata miatt (is) szeretem ezeket a regényeket az elgondolkoztató tartalmuk mellett. iel, a francia nyelv csodákra képes :)
August 8, 2019
Not for me in the slightest. Moved very slowly. The characters felt wooden and stiff, like they weren't entirely fleshed out. I couldn't connect to anyone. I appreciate what Fielding was trying to do, but it missed the mark. There were one too many instances of weird and aggressively supportive characters that didn't make any sense. There wasn't anything to ground the support, to make it feel like it was more than just unusual platitudes. I felt like this was basically a how to novel on navigating PTSD in romance. which I could have done if I could emotionally connect to the characters in any way.
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