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The Long Night: Readings and Stories to Help You Through Depression
You've done what you can: you've seen your doctor, made an appointment with a therapist, picked up the prescription for the antidepressant and swallowed that first strange pill. But it can take four to eight weeks for the meds to start to work, and it might take two or more tries before you and your doctor find the ones that work best for you. When you're in the midst of terrible depression, those weeks can feel like an eternity. You just want to feel better now. This book is for those who are in the long night of waiting. It does not promise healing or deliverance; it is not a guide to praying away the depression. It is simply an attempt to sit next to you in the dark while you wait for the light to emerge.Drawing on the wisdom of spiritual figures from the past and present--including Henri Nouwen, Thomas Merton, Barbara Brown Taylor, Bunmi Laditan, and many others--The Long Night is a comforting and inspirational companion for anyone in the midst of depression. Writer, editor, and mi
200 pages, Hardcover
First published May 19, 2020
30 people are currently reading
419 people want to read
About the author
Jessica Kantrowitz
6 books52 followersJessica Kantrowitz is a writer and theologian living in Boston, Massachusetts. She writes about theology, culture, social justice, and chronic illness, including her own struggles with depression and migraines. Her writing has been featured in places like Sojourners, Think Christian, The Good Men Project, and Our Bible App. She earned her MDiv from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.
Her first book, The Long Night: Readings and Stories to Help You through Depression releases through Fortress Press in May, 2020.
Her first book, The Long Night: Readings and Stories to Help You through Depression releases through Fortress Press in May, 2020.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
December 13, 2020
I believe in this book. It is my best writing and my best wisdom — everything that helped me claw my way out of the worst depression of my life. But it’s not a how-to manual, or a guide to pray-the-depression-away. It’s just an attempt to sit next to you in the long night until the morning comes. It’s my very best try to make a book into a friend, a companion along the way. It’s eighteen different ways to say this: You are not alone, and this will not last forever.
May 22, 2020
In The Long Night, Jessica Kantrowitz does not tell you how to beat depression. She also doesn't analyze depression, mapping all the features of its grim terrain. After reading The Long Night, I do understand depression better, and I have some ideas about how to be more helpful to those I love who are depressed, even more helpful with the depression-adjacent blues that have occasionally gripped me. But this is really isn't a self-help book or a work of science.
Instead, Jessica Kantrowitz does something that I appreciate far more. She offers us herself: her own story in and out of and alongside depression, the people and ideas and postures that made it worse, and the companions and art and discovery that have been part of her healing. Kantrowitz never pretends that depression is anything but the heavy, cursed burden that it is, but she is able to describe and offer to us both the gifts that she has been given while depressed and the gifts she has discovered through it.
What most moved me as I read The Long Night, though, was Kantrowitz's voice. She is steadily kind and compassionate, first to herself, and then with the various people that are part of her story, and also with us, her readers, whom she directly addresses effectively in the second person. I do not have depression, but for reasons of my own, have often been highly critical and harsh with myself, which has always been unhelpful to me and everyone else in my life. Reading The Long Night gives me yet another experience of kind, accepting, gentleness, which I appreciate and welcome and will remember.
Instead, Jessica Kantrowitz does something that I appreciate far more. She offers us herself: her own story in and out of and alongside depression, the people and ideas and postures that made it worse, and the companions and art and discovery that have been part of her healing. Kantrowitz never pretends that depression is anything but the heavy, cursed burden that it is, but she is able to describe and offer to us both the gifts that she has been given while depressed and the gifts she has discovered through it.
What most moved me as I read The Long Night, though, was Kantrowitz's voice. She is steadily kind and compassionate, first to herself, and then with the various people that are part of her story, and also with us, her readers, whom she directly addresses effectively in the second person. I do not have depression, but for reasons of my own, have often been highly critical and harsh with myself, which has always been unhelpful to me and everyone else in my life. Reading The Long Night gives me yet another experience of kind, accepting, gentleness, which I appreciate and welcome and will remember.
April 3, 2020
Jessica Kantrowitz’s The Long Night is not simply a must-read addition to the broad field of books on depression, it is also an invitation—as warm and welcoming as it is informative—to walk with her and learn. Her vulnerability and authenticity in speaking of her journey become an open door for the reader as she offers not only the struggles but also the techniques, practices, writers and an understanding of a suffering-with-us God that have helped over the years. The book offers a theology of beautifully inclusive acceptance and a sense of community that is its own gift of healing. I am grateful this book exists in our world.
May 13, 2020
Reading The Long Night made me feel safe and seen. Author Jessica Kantrowitz has done the hard work of giving a voice to the darkness that threatens many of us from within. She then releases it to genuinely express at every turn, “You are not alone and this will not last forever”. I read it in week (9?) of self-isolation, and even at my worst, these words carry me into a place of safety and grace. I appreciate the power of a personal story retold once the view becomes clearer, and I love that the tone of the book is a quiet offering to come alongside the pain. I felt caught up in the nonjudgmental grace in her words as she reflected on her own battles with depression, and seeing that encourages me to try and do the same. The resources listed for further readings and consideration are super helpful as well, without feeling like mandatory or overwhelming homework. I am so grateful for her contribution to the discussion of mental health within faith communities as well, which is often so difficult to navigate. Thank you, Jessica, for sharing this with the world.
August 14, 2020
This book is nothing less than a gift to its readers, and I already know 3 people I'll be passing the gift along to. Jessica's voice is warm, inviting, and compassionate, without ever sounding condescending or judgy. She creates an intimacy between herself and the reader based on the sharing of her own unique experiences and the empathy she offers to others who struggle with depression. This is a book to read slowly, savoring it, and re-read as often as needed.
June 22, 2020
Jessica’s book is like a big, gentle hug. It is like she is sitting beside you during the hardest times and offering her presence and support in the loveliest way. I highly recommend this beautiful book.
July 16, 2020
Comforting book
A gentle companion to walk with you through rocky times. The author is honest about her own struggles, and that authenticity makes you feel that you are not alone. Wonderful resources from other writers. Highly recommend.
A gentle companion to walk with you through rocky times. The author is honest about her own struggles, and that authenticity makes you feel that you are not alone. Wonderful resources from other writers. Highly recommend.
September 7, 2020
Summary: Short readings and personal narratives reflecting the author’s experience with depression, both honest and hopeful.
I’m an odd person to review a book on depression. This just has not been my experience. I tend toward an even temper, and although I’ve experienced real setbacks and discouragement, I can’t honestly say I’ve experienced the “long night” of which the author writes. A book on obsessive compulsive disorder would probably be more in my neighborhood.
But I’ve known people who have lived through depression. In more than one instance, I didn’t see it at the time. In some instances, they didn’t initially either. In the general population roughly 6.7 percent of all people experience symptoms of depression at any given time (about 16.2 million in the US). Globally, the WHO estimates that 300 million experience depression (from this article on Healthline). Inside Higher Ed indicates that among graduate students, a population I have worked with, the numbers may be higher. One study found up to 39 percent scored in the moderate to severe range of depression.
All of this is what makes this book so valuable, whether you are experiencing depression, know someone who is, or, like me, was pretty clueless when it came to recognizing symptoms of depression. Jessica Kantrowitz gives us an honest account of her own experience through depression. She doesn’t offer promises of healing or “six steps out of depression.” She offers herself as a companion to those walking in the pain and darkness of depression. She doesn’t offer answers, but shares her own questions and how she has struggled with them.
She describes her own experience with episodes of depression, sometimes so bad she could not get out of bed. She describes the migraines that accompanied her depression, quitting a ministry job because she just couldn’t turn around her work performance quickly enough. She described the companions who helped her, the friends who simply listened, said “That sucks,” and stayed. She tells us about trying as hard as she could, and of those who stuck with her through barely incremental progress punctuated with setbacks. She describes other companions, writers like Henri Nouwen and Frederick Buechner, whose writings helped.
She narrates learning new prayer practices that involved the body and practices of centering prayer, that instead of suppressing emotions or distractions allowed her to notice them and learn to let them go, like clouds passing overhead. She tells us about leaving an unhelpful community and finding a new one, as well as a number of fellow travelers online. She names some of the ways depression lies and distorts reality. She talks frankly about suicide and what it takes to love someone in the pain of depression.
There is so much of value for those who haven’t been through depression. Kantrowitz helps us understand how much it hurts. She invites us to see how those in the midst of depression are “doing their best” to get out and the long process of dealing with medications, food, exercise, sleep (which often is a problem), and so much more, what she calls learning healthy coping mechanisms. From her own experience we learn that the way to help is to listen, to pray, to empathize, but no advice. Our best present is simply to be present.
At the same time, this is a book of hope. Not quick fixes, but the growing awareness that God accepts us in weakness, and that we are not alone in the dark night. There is the hope of becoming more truly and fully human and oneself in the process. She offers hope that it will not always be this way against depression’s lie that it always will. A quote on the book’s cover says, “You are not alone, and this will not last forever.”
The hope offered seems to be that one may live with and grow through depression. She suggests resources to help and offers in herself the hope of finding companions on the journey. Not sermons but stories. Not cures but companionship. Not happy thoughts but hope toward the dawning light.
________________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
I’m an odd person to review a book on depression. This just has not been my experience. I tend toward an even temper, and although I’ve experienced real setbacks and discouragement, I can’t honestly say I’ve experienced the “long night” of which the author writes. A book on obsessive compulsive disorder would probably be more in my neighborhood.
But I’ve known people who have lived through depression. In more than one instance, I didn’t see it at the time. In some instances, they didn’t initially either. In the general population roughly 6.7 percent of all people experience symptoms of depression at any given time (about 16.2 million in the US). Globally, the WHO estimates that 300 million experience depression (from this article on Healthline). Inside Higher Ed indicates that among graduate students, a population I have worked with, the numbers may be higher. One study found up to 39 percent scored in the moderate to severe range of depression.
All of this is what makes this book so valuable, whether you are experiencing depression, know someone who is, or, like me, was pretty clueless when it came to recognizing symptoms of depression. Jessica Kantrowitz gives us an honest account of her own experience through depression. She doesn’t offer promises of healing or “six steps out of depression.” She offers herself as a companion to those walking in the pain and darkness of depression. She doesn’t offer answers, but shares her own questions and how she has struggled with them.
She describes her own experience with episodes of depression, sometimes so bad she could not get out of bed. She describes the migraines that accompanied her depression, quitting a ministry job because she just couldn’t turn around her work performance quickly enough. She described the companions who helped her, the friends who simply listened, said “That sucks,” and stayed. She tells us about trying as hard as she could, and of those who stuck with her through barely incremental progress punctuated with setbacks. She describes other companions, writers like Henri Nouwen and Frederick Buechner, whose writings helped.
She narrates learning new prayer practices that involved the body and practices of centering prayer, that instead of suppressing emotions or distractions allowed her to notice them and learn to let them go, like clouds passing overhead. She tells us about leaving an unhelpful community and finding a new one, as well as a number of fellow travelers online. She names some of the ways depression lies and distorts reality. She talks frankly about suicide and what it takes to love someone in the pain of depression.
There is so much of value for those who haven’t been through depression. Kantrowitz helps us understand how much it hurts. She invites us to see how those in the midst of depression are “doing their best” to get out and the long process of dealing with medications, food, exercise, sleep (which often is a problem), and so much more, what she calls learning healthy coping mechanisms. From her own experience we learn that the way to help is to listen, to pray, to empathize, but no advice. Our best present is simply to be present.
At the same time, this is a book of hope. Not quick fixes, but the growing awareness that God accepts us in weakness, and that we are not alone in the dark night. There is the hope of becoming more truly and fully human and oneself in the process. She offers hope that it will not always be this way against depression’s lie that it always will. A quote on the book’s cover says, “You are not alone, and this will not last forever.”
The hope offered seems to be that one may live with and grow through depression. She suggests resources to help and offers in herself the hope of finding companions on the journey. Not sermons but stories. Not cures but companionship. Not happy thoughts but hope toward the dawning light.
________________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
August 8, 2020
This book offers readers a look into Jessica's life and many powerful ways one can learn to grow, heal, and find their way through the gruesome territory of depression.
It also provides great insights for those who love and care for someone who struggles with depressions, low moods, or who has suffered trauma. It helps us understand from an intimate perspective all that might be going on, when what we see on the outside might not make sense.
Sometimes subtitles sell a book short, this is one of those times.
This small 5 x7" book really punches above its weight.
It also provides great insights for those who love and care for someone who struggles with depressions, low moods, or who has suffered trauma. It helps us understand from an intimate perspective all that might be going on, when what we see on the outside might not make sense.
Sometimes subtitles sell a book short, this is one of those times.
This small 5 x7" book really punches above its weight.
May 13, 2023
I would highly recommend this book for someone struggling with their depression. Though I have clinical depression, years of talk therapy along with meds has helped me out of the dark spots.
For myself, it was a repeat of many coping mechanisms I have adopted along my journey. The material was simply a reminder of how far I have come.
If you can’t seem to see the light, this will give you hope.
For myself, it was a repeat of many coping mechanisms I have adopted along my journey. The material was simply a reminder of how far I have come.
If you can’t seem to see the light, this will give you hope.
May 20, 2020
This book is a beautiful companion to comfort you in times of depression and heartbreak. Honestly I think this book is helpful for pandemic times because most of us are going through times of higher anxiety and sadness and forgetting hope. While this book doesn't give you answers, it does offer comfort, practices, and the essential truth: you are not alone, this will not last forever. I have struggled with depression in my lifetime and I wish I had had this book back then.
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June 9, 2020This is one of the most beautifully written books that I have ever read. It is less a book and more a salve for the soul. The author speaks with great compassion, insight and gentleness about her own experience with depression and truly gives you the sense that you are going for a quiet walk in a safe place and talking with a friend. She explains how she walked through the darkest period of her life, and gives hope that others will be able to do so, too. I highly recommend this book.
January 3, 2021
I read The Long Night while dealing with postpartum depression. I read a little each night when I couldn’t sleep, and it really felt like having a friend who has been through it sitting next to you. No trite platitudes or explanations that if you only did x or y it would all get better. Just understanding. And sometimes that’s exactly what you need to get you through until morning.
I’m so looking forward to going through 2021 with Jessica’s next book at my side.
I’m so looking forward to going through 2021 with Jessica’s next book at my side.
July 8, 2020
This felt less like a book and more of a safe space to bring all the pain and darkness. The author puts words to the depression and anxiety so many of us are wrestling with. You won’t find pat answers but instead empathy, grace and an invitation towards healing. Her words felt like a warm hug and coming home all rolled into one.
June 1, 2020
A gentle hand to hold for one going through a dark time.
December 12, 2020
Such a gentle book. It was a comforting read while in one of my own long nights.
Very much a 'Christian' book, too; I don't mind that at all, but wasn't really expecting that, since I didn't do a lot of 'research' about the book.
I appreciated the author's openness with her struggles; how she shared different 'tools' for working through depression; how she made me feel seen and understood. Her intent was to make this little book intimate and conversational and I felt she succeeded.
My only piddling little complaint was that sometimes she was repetitive - she would reiterate a quote that began a chapter and that was a minor annoyance. Ha!
Lots of good stuff in these 178 pages.
She warns you about possible triggers before chapters on suicide and body image/disordered eating.
Very much a 'Christian' book, too; I don't mind that at all, but wasn't really expecting that, since I didn't do a lot of 'research' about the book.
I appreciated the author's openness with her struggles; how she shared different 'tools' for working through depression; how she made me feel seen and understood. Her intent was to make this little book intimate and conversational and I felt she succeeded.
My only piddling little complaint was that sometimes she was repetitive - she would reiterate a quote that began a chapter and that was a minor annoyance. Ha!
Lots of good stuff in these 178 pages.
She warns you about possible triggers before chapters on suicide and body image/disordered eating.
November 5, 2024
I think my toxic trait is putting books on hold at the library and then forgetting why I wanted to read them in the first place. I didn’t do my research with this one, and didn’t realize it was really religiously-oriented. I am not a Christian, so while I was quite fascinated by the author’s theological reflections, they didn’t resonate for me personally. That said, the book did make me think a lot about the relationship between depression and faith. Depression brings a deep hopelessness; a true belief that the suffering will not end. Faith becomes something you need others to hold for you since you cannot hold it yourself. In my experience, depression is very much a form of spiritual crisis (in addition to being biological, psychosocial, etc). I appreciated the space the author opened to reflect on that interplay.
April 25, 2020
How is it possible to want to read a book so very slowly and tenderly because every word matters and every sentence is so beautiful penned, and at the same time, want to rush through to the next beautiful chapter because you can hardly wait for the next love letter to pierce your heart with kindness?
Jessica Kantrowitz’ book “The Long Night” will do just that for your weary, yet hungry soul.
Jessica Kantrowitz’ book “The Long Night” will do just that for your weary, yet hungry soul.
June 3, 2020
Of you suffer from depression, this is a MUST read!
Jessica is real and presents valuable information to help us get through the dark night of our soul. I know the information presented in this book is insightful and true. This will help our walks through life.
Jessica is real and presents valuable information to help us get through the dark night of our soul. I know the information presented in this book is insightful and true. This will help our walks through life.
June 6, 2022
Jessica writes so beautifully about her experiences with depression. There were several chapters that took my breath away with how accurately she describes the feelings and weight of it. Some great ideas to combat the hopelessness and feelings of being alone.
May 21, 2020
This book arrived at the perfect time, on a day I had a migraine. As someone who has struggled with depression Jessica Kantrowitz’s lovely words offer comfort and hope. I can’t recommend it enough.
April 26, 2020
Reading The Long Night is like having a dear friend patiently listen to your pain, and then hold your hand and give you nonjudgmental, honest, loving suggestions that let you know that you have been heard, and that there are real things you can do to begin to head toward the morning.
This is the book I’ve been waiting for.
This is the book I’ve been waiting for.
May 15, 2020
This book talks to the ugly, small, ashamed parts of me—the vulnerable parts I try to hide, and tells them it is okay. Reading this book I felt love radiating from the page, love telling me that it’s okay to feel what I feel and be vulnerable.
Kantrowitz’s sharing of her story; her challenges, her struggles and her path has helped me in reconciling my path. I wish my life path was linear and that my anxiety and depression hadn’t veered me off of journeys I wanted to go on. But I am feeling more compassion and love for myself after reading this book and feeling the love from Kantrowitz emanating from the page.
Kantrowitz is deft at breaking down shame and guilt and providing wisdom on how to give yourself compassion and kindness. I am thankful for this loving, transformational and thought provoking book which I know I will reread over and over again.
Kantrowitz’s sharing of her story; her challenges, her struggles and her path has helped me in reconciling my path. I wish my life path was linear and that my anxiety and depression hadn’t veered me off of journeys I wanted to go on. But I am feeling more compassion and love for myself after reading this book and feeling the love from Kantrowitz emanating from the page.
Kantrowitz is deft at breaking down shame and guilt and providing wisdom on how to give yourself compassion and kindness. I am thankful for this loving, transformational and thought provoking book which I know I will reread over and over again.
July 23, 2020
The Long Night is the book equivalent to being seen in your hardest, most painful moments. Jessica doesn't offer platitudes or try to change your mind. She simply takes the sweetest, most loving parts of herself and offers them in the most gorgeous words to be with you when you need them most. It is witness.
Even if you've never experienced depression of the kind she writes about, this book is a friend. To everyone.
Even if you've never experienced depression of the kind she writes about, this book is a friend. To everyone.
November 7, 2020
As someone who has dealt with depression off and one through the last 35 years, I went looking for a book to combat the current political cycle. I could not relate to everything in The Long Night, as I (thank goodness) have not had to live with debilitating migraines in my life. But, I appreciate the very honest, open way the author was reaching out to her audience. And, I took one very important thing away from the book that I hope I will keep stored in my brain for the future: the fact that the greatest punishment one tends to bestow upon oneself isn't during the period of failure to reach a goal, but during the period of shame after failing to reach that goal (when you decide you completely suck and, due to the example of this one failure, should never try to succeed at goals again.) In order to be able to reach goals, you have to forgive yourself for failing at them. I had never thought about it that way. And, the one paragraph made the entire book worthwhile.
July 25, 2023
Several of the essays had great timing as they related to my life these past few weeks (and years lol). I liked learning that a couple of thought processes and ideas I have had were also shared with the author.
The style is casual and blog-ish. Like a blog, there tend to be run-on sentences, awkwardly-worded sentences, obvious typos, and odd formatting (e.g., two spaces between several words where there should only be one).
And though the Christian references don't apply to me, these essays were light on Bible verses and the like, which was nice. I enjoyed hearing about the author's grapple with her spirituality and evangelism, as I'm going through something similar.
I would have given four stars if not for all the typos and writing that should have been edited more thoroughly.
The style is casual and blog-ish. Like a blog, there tend to be run-on sentences, awkwardly-worded sentences, obvious typos, and odd formatting (e.g., two spaces between several words where there should only be one).
And though the Christian references don't apply to me, these essays were light on Bible verses and the like, which was nice. I enjoyed hearing about the author's grapple with her spirituality and evangelism, as I'm going through something similar.
I would have given four stars if not for all the typos and writing that should have been edited more thoroughly.
November 20, 2021
Pastor and first-time author Jessica Kantrowitz has written a soulful manual for surviving depression and chronic illness. I wish this were required reading for all to help dispel the terrible myths about depression that poison our beloved community. Her artful memoir “The Long Night” tackles a difficult subject with warmth and deep compassion, filling a great need for the lost and despairing among us. . .
Click here to read the rest of my book review of The Long Night over at Presbyterian Outlook: https://pres-outlook.org/2021/01/the-...
Click here to read the rest of my book review of The Long Night over at Presbyterian Outlook: https://pres-outlook.org/2021/01/the-...
September 14, 2020
I can not recommend this book enough. So beautifully written and very much needed in today’s world. This isn’t really a self-help book, but a look into the author’s struggles, how she copes, and the importance of community, The way she describes her depression, anxiety, and the things she fears is exactly how I feel and have been unable to put into words. I deeply appreciate her vulnerability. So many wonderful passages that I found myself taking pictures of them and sending to friends. Highly recommend for those struggling, know someone struggling, or really just anyone!
July 6, 2021
Reading this book felt like receiving a comforting hug from a friend. The author shares her experiences with depression as well as the writings and resources that she found most beneficial. As a social worker, I was encouraged to read about several evidence-based practices and techniques and feel that the author wrote with careful intention. Much of the book is written from a Christian faith perspective, and I found the honesty and vulnerability refreshing. I would definitely recommend this book to clients and friends as a supplement to professional help.
February 4, 2023
There were some great nuggets in this book. Jessica helped me through a long night of my own, and it was helpful to hear about her journey and the people that helped her through her depression.
"Healing isn't going back to the way things were before."
"Depression complicates things. You can't always think clearly to articulate your own needs or sort out what you need from whom. And of course, you don’t really know what you need, especially at first. You don’t know what people can do that would help, you just wish somebody would do something."
"Healing isn't going back to the way things were before."
"Depression complicates things. You can't always think clearly to articulate your own needs or sort out what you need from whom. And of course, you don’t really know what you need, especially at first. You don’t know what people can do that would help, you just wish somebody would do something."
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews