Have you ever been asked the pitiful question " What Do You Bring To The Table?" If so, you were dating a dusty man most likely! This book will teach you how to answer this question , and why you should be offended by it . Let Me Guide you to getting what you want from men instead of them getting a list of things you are offering up to them at this "so called' TABLE.
These are the truths that have been hidden away from women overtime and has brought about a massive influx of pickmesha, bonnetta, and bob the builder disease. Please don’t let your daughters, sisters, aunts, hell even mamas suffer in this cruel world of dusties. Get yo money ladies!!!
This book literally tells you what you need to know about leveling up and changing your mindset. The only criticism I have is I just wish it was longer maybe a few hundred pages but the information in this book is invaluable it’s straight to the point and no fluff. Shera really does tackle the issues we face today in society and what women and men are supposed to be doing as opposed to what we are doing, saying! It’s a must read!!!! For women of any age and even those who think it’s too late it never is trust me! Once you level up mentally there are no limits!!
Dissapointed that this book was sooo short! 😭 Anyways, ladies, we should continue our mission of bringing absolutely nothing to the table and staying away from the dusty crusty men 🫡.
Felt like reading something frivolous and remembered I had this on my shelves for a long time. Structure-wise, it’s basically a low-quality blog post, with many repetitions and shoddy argumentation, so I automatically docked points. It can hardly be considered a “book” and is beset with ungrammatical constructions (“Men can leave these women because she doesn’t need him” — really?)
Content-wise, it is a minefield. The author operates from a very rigid heteronormative, patriarchal standpoint with inelastic gender roles and a heavily cynical outlook on life. The overarching message is that men are incapable of loving their partners, so focusing on love becomes a futile waste of energy for women as an approach. I know Shera from TikTok and I can’t say I necessarily disagree with her analysis in many of her videos and even find her quite funny, but the humour and flippancy do not really translate here and her presentation of some very real social inequalities does her no favours; rather, it only alienates readers. There isn’t really much to be gained by name-calling other women as “Pickmeishas”, “Rachettas” or “Bob the Builder chicks”, by insulting their makeup skills or manner of dress or by labelling them as “masculine” (derogatorily) if they don’t aim to be financially supported by a man. She really has it in for bonnets!
Essentially, Shera’s ~problematic framing ultimately annoys people out of discussing women’s present-day issues. It has been statistically studied how women still perform the bulk of domestic work, even when employed full-time. I am not interested in debating that fact and I don’t care about personal anecdotes. Within the heteronormative scaffolding of a traditional relationship dynamic, women also get punished as a result of pregnancy: by the workforce with fewer career opportunities and lesser salaries, by their own partners by not picking up on household chores to ease their burden and, ultimately, even medically and psychologically by the toll it has on their bodies and minds. Men leaving their “starter wives” for younger women when they’re middle aged and financially better-off is also a painful reality for many worldwide. These phenomena need to be widely discussed in society: I agree that women should guard themselves against such things and that men should be socially shamed for these behaviours.
It is within this context that questions such as “what do you bring to the table” are deeply insulting for women as a whole. This approach stems from a misunderstanding of feminism, a refusal to engage with the vulnerable position of women in society, a denial of the propensity for exploitation that surrounds women simply on account of their gender. We talk about the invisibility of women’s labour for a reason. In the worst of cases, it even betrays a willingness to profit off this unacknowledged exploitation. Similarly to Shera, if a man posed this question to me on a date, I would probably just get up and leave, as dismantling this bias would be more effort than it’s worth. I would simply assume this man watched way too many pick-up artists and men’s rights “activists” and I have no time for that kind of tomfoolery. Asking a woman who is statistically most likely to do the bulk of his housework and childcare in the future (if they settle on a long-term relationship) “what she brings to the table” is just taking the piss. Answering that question as a woman who is most likely going to spend the rest of her life (to no avail) explaining the toll of this unpaid, undervalued, thankless toil is also a humiliation ritual. I think that Shera figured that out for herself, but that she has major issues in explaining the asymmetry involved. She merely settles for advising ladies to refuse to answer the question or to simply say that bringing herself is enough. It is enough in the sense that women are often exploited for their domestic labour so their mere presence in a household is statistically enriching that household already, but the reader couldn’t hope to reach that conclusion from this text alone. Instead, the reader gains the impression that this approach is superficial, morally dubious and intellectually unfulfilling. Certainly, no well-rounded person would wish to portray themselves in such a way, reducing their complex individuality and skills to some kind of freeloader that contributes nothing to a relationship, hence the pushback.
To get back to the matter at hand, I find that many men who insist on the 50/50 split and are obsessed with the idea of who is paying on dates never really mean 50/50 in the actual division of domestic labour, emotional work or mental load, i.e. all the other aspects that compose the intricate matrix of a relationship. More to the point, they seem frustrated by their perceived loss of standing and have a bone to pick. They hear “feminism” and see the desire for equal rights as something to be punished in women. ‘Oh, you wanted to be independent?,’ I often hear, in a patronising tone. ‘You then waive the right to expect any thoughtfulness or courtesy from my end.’ The last part is not said out loud, but implied. They view a relationship as women being fundamentally on their own, with no help from them, because she peskily insisted on equal status, but in practice this newfound status is rarely equal and women only end up burdened with more work. Now, in addition to a full-time job and half the bills, she has increased housework and an extra person to emotionally manage and whose social life to organise. Family holidays, birthdays and trips are notoriously also handled by women — just go to any relationship subreddit or, better yet, listen to the way the women around you present their grievances and which topics they focus on as points of conflict. Listen to how divorced women suddenly find how much free time and less work they have; it might prove illuminating.
Generally-speaking, a man who is genuinely interested in a true partnership with a woman is not going to be asking her what she brings to the table or counting pennies with her at dates. He will want to do nice things for her because that is how people who like each other act. He will inherently want to ease her burdens and make her life more comfortable, unprompted, because he wants the best for her. That doesn’t mean that women shouldn’t pay for anything ever, but there is little acknowledgement in these 50/50 discussions how women already contribute massively to the quality of men’s lives simply from how they are socialised to act and how they approach relationships. So, in these circumstances, a little recognition from men’s part that women’s economic positions are often more precarious and less rewarding than theirs does not hurt and I do not consider it a patriarchal condescension or an offense towards women’s ability to take care of themselves. If a man truly loves someone, he will want to help, not extract more resources from them under the guise of feminism. The nickel-nursers who keep an Excel accounting score are rarely tallying the managerial household role women end up in, for example, or who remembered to buy their mother a birthday gift and avoided a family scandal. How does one 50/50 a torn birth canal? etc There is no point in splitting bills with someone who will only provide additional chores for you with little reciprocation, while downplaying and ignoring your labour. How many women entered relationships with men only to find out down the line how their partners' standards of cleanliness did not match their own or how the men's idea of dinner was fried eggs and chips when it was their turn to cook? In this respect Shera is right to warn women against allowing men to take advantage of their money and energy.
For one, I am glad that I don’t have to date, because this trend of turning romantic courtship into a job interview hosted by LinkedIn Lunatics sounds abhorrent. To a certain extent, dates are indeed a type of assessment and I’m not trying to say that the material relations between partners don’t matter, that men can never claim some women are selfish or indolent or that men cannot strive to be authentic contributors. But the tactics described by both sides of the fence will not aid anyone in achieving lasting human connection and are as far away from romance as an AI-written love letter.
In this regard, Shera’s methodology heavily focuses on a very narrow, hard-to-come-by individualistic solution within a thoroughly capitalistic architecture — keep men at arms’ length, do not get attached, make sure your bills are paid in exchange for performing intimacy and going through the motions of a traditional relationship. There isn’t much of an allowance here for substantive companionship or emotional fulfillment if the goal is primarily to snag an older, well-off man, in order to escape the constraints and abuses of late stage capitalism. Not to mention how low the rate of success must be merely because of the sheer dearth of wealthy men who have nothing better to do than beg the average woman’s attention. But gold-digging advice has always been a grift, there’s nothing new about this — it’s chiefly a way to make money off naive women trying to “level up” by centering any man with a bank account and minimizing the tangible and dangerous power disparities that might arise from liaisons like these.
Finally, I would like to make a concession that these discussions are also accentuated in times of economic hardship. Fundamentally, yes, it is plain misogyny that enables men to saddle women with domestic work, which they could not afford otherwise, but it is also the exploitation of the working classes which makes the cost of living so steep that even a two-paycheck household is struggling to make ends meet. However, the discourse in dating spaces is never really focused on why economic conditions are so poor that no one seems able to pay for a meal at the restaurant anymore and dining out is such a hot topic and cause for frustration. Instead, advice like this only ends up derailing the conversation away from the true causes of inequality and towards the exploitation of one’s romantic partner, whether it is men profiting off of women’s invisible labour or women demanding to be financially supported by rich men. It really is Hobbes’ bellum omnium contra omnes out there.
I feel like this is another take what resonates and leave the rest type of book. I know not everyone would be down for some of the advice She Ra Seven gives. A few years ago, I, probably, wouldn’t have been either. But now? Now I think a lot of what she had to say was relevant and, unfortunately, true in some way, based on my own personal life experience and what I’ve witnessed in those around me.
As for my rating, I was teetering between a 3.8 to a 4. What made me round up is because of how much I was cackling while reading. She Ra Seven has such a sarcastic and dry sense of humor and I love it. If you’ve seen any of her videos, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Overall, regardless of how you are approaching dating, especially if you’re dating men (tragic), this book will be useful in some way. To me, the overarching message is to not be a doormat and never let a man make you question your worth or feel like you have to prove why you’re “good enough” for him. As She Ra Seven emphasizes, you shouldn’t have to bring anything to the table, nor should you even proclaim that you, yourself, are the table. You are the guest of honor. I know that’s right!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️
I don’t know what I was expecting. It randomly showed up as a recommended book in Amazon. I have Kindle Unlimited so I read it. It is actually pretty good and I recommend this book to all young women, not that you have to follow it, but it will give you another view that you haven’t considered. There is very good advice in this book. It’s a short quick read.
Facts based on her lifestyle not general women population
Book was funny and comical for ratchet chicks striving to depend on a man to do everything. Women should learn to be Interdependent, Not Independent or Dependent in any relationship. This book teaches nothing about Leveling Up anything!!!
She Ra Seven doesn't seem to understand the concept of empathy. I especially noticed this in the section where she talks about this woman who met an immigrant man who was starting from scratch. She's basically asking why he doesn't pull up his bootstraps and go make money. Typically, one has extenuating circumstances that prevent things like this from being an easy step. "Just go and do it." But you need a car, you need a place to live, an ID to even apply, etc. Clearly, she hasn't thought about this. Also, in this day and age, who on Earth has the money to pay for two people? Is She Ra dating exclusively older men? Most people in their 20s can't afford that.
I wish she would address what exactly is special about being a woman. I was born female. Why does having a vagina entitle me to all these things...?
I feel like some of the things she said would keep you single. She had some strong valid points but take what you need from this book and leave the rest
Certainly women who read this book bring nothing to the table. Not necessarily because they choose to, but because they've nothing to offer save absolute depravity and low morality. This 'level up' concept is the equivalent of the pathetic anti-social acting-out that poor blacks and poor people in general use in lieu of actual sociopolitical activation: littering and vandalizing (mostly their own neighborhood) as a resigned, inured, passive-aggressive substitute for real protest, real resistance and real action. This is adolescent nihilism -- not even proper nihilism. It keeps women as children... the work of a double-agent.
Sprinkle sprinkle ladies and get to reading this! Before reading this, I unfortunately was a “Pickmeisha” and a “Bob the builder chick”. This book made me realise how pathetic I’ve been in my past romantic relationships. I am levelling up and changing my sad ways. I am going to urge every female I know to read this. Also, wish the book was a bit longer, was kinda disappointing when I received this thin catalogue like book lol
You need to check it out. It’s a good read definitely some laughs!! I do wish it was longer, very short read but everything in this book is valuable information. This book should be your personal bible ! Thank Shera for changing my mindset and raising my standards higher, I feel much more confident in myself.
such a quick read!! i love this woman so much. For everyone that thinks about reading this: do it! She get's to the point really fast and is encouraging so many woman in so many ways. She has this funny but serious way about her. i read this while standing in the kitchen making my morning coffee. 10/10
Thank you Shera, this book is very entertaining, eye opening, no bs, straightforward. More women need to see their worth and value and men need up rise to become providers so they can get the respect they want from women.
Short but informative. I will definitely continue to watch her and others on YouTube. She answered a lot of questions that people may ask her, or about material that she discusses.
This book is 10/10! Every woman should read this! No matter what age❤️shera got some good pointers❤️this is also amazing for going back rereading this book. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this book. ✨✨SPRINKLE SPRINKLE✨✨
Fine, I guess. Sense a lot of self hate and misogyny but it's not all bad; like she's totally write you just cannot be with a man without wealth what's the point otherwise I don't have to agree with everything she says to know she speaks some facts everyone else too afraid to say