506-My Memories of Old Beijing-Lin Haiyin-Novel-1918
Barack
2024/02/11
"Old Things in the South of the City" was first published in 1960. It is an autobiographical novel. It describes that in the 1920s, in a courtyard in the south of Beijing, Yingzi's warm and harmonious family lived. Through the childish eyes of the protagonist Yingzi, it shows the joys and sorrows of the adult world to the world. It has an indescribable innocence, but it expresses the complex emotions of the world. The novel brings together five stories of Xiao Yingzi's childhood experience. It is the expression and sustenance of the author's inner creative emotions, using constant "departures" to organize the plot and promote the development of the story. It reflects the author's nostalgia for his childhood and his longing for the south of Beijing.
Lin Haiyin was born in Osaka, Japan in 1918 and died in 2001. Studied at Peking Journalism College. Representative works: "Xiaoyun", "Old Things in the South of the City", "A Guest in America", "Yun Chuang Night Reading", etc.
Table of Contents
1. Hui’an Pavilion
2. Let’s go see the sea
3. Aunt Lan
4. The donkey rolls around
5. Dad’s flowers have fallen, and I am no longer a child.
There is a saying, "Some people use their childhood to heal their whole lives, while some people need to spend their whole life to heal their childhood." This sentence profoundly reflects the long-term impact of childhood on a person. When the 42-year-old author looks back on his childhood memories of around ten years old, he is actually an adult trying to act like his former self and trying to understand the adult world from a child's perspective. Naturally, this attempt will inevitably lead to distortion. When anyone recalls his childhood, he can only restore the emotions and experiences of that time as much as possible, but it is almost impossible to truly reproduce his true feelings at that time. Some people believe that human nature is inherently good, while others believe that human nature is inherently evil. It seems to me that both attributes may exist in human nature, with considerable randomness in the exact proportions. Some children are naturally compassionate, while others may show an innate tendency to be cruel. Of course, the acquired environment also has a great impact. For children who are naturally compassionate, their hearts may become harder over time and as they learn about the truth about the world. And those children who are naturally cruel may gradually learn to control their impulses through acquired education and etiquette learning. Due to various reasons, Xiuzhen's love has no results, and even her own flesh and blood were abandoned by her parents. This kind of mental trauma caused her to become insane. Even though she was so unfortunate, those around her only saw her as a madman. The joys and sorrows of human beings are indeed not the same.
Regarding blood relationships, I often feel that they are complicated and subtle. For most people, they are naturally full of love for their biological children, but they may show more impatience for their adopted children. However, this is just a general trend. In fact, I have heard of or witnessed many examples that violate this rule. Although some people have become parents, they seem to lack the awareness to become parents. These so-called parents always regard their children as mindless and soulless beings, consciously or unconsciously. Children do lack understanding of certain things, but their understanding is not due to ignorance, they just do not know enough about the world. As for love, I believe children can feel it. Of course, there are some people who are able to consistently provide abundant love to their children, whether biological or adopted. I don't think a person who has the ability to love should take on the role of a partner or even a parent. If these little lives can’t be made to feel full of love early in their lives, why bring them into the world at all?
The first time I read "A Dream of Red Mansions" was when I was in junior high school. At that time, I found this work extremely boring and did not finish reading it. I tried reading it again in high school but still failed. It was not until my undergraduate degree that I read "Dream of Red Mansions" in its entirety for the first time and was finally attracted by it. When I was young, I preferred stories like "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" and "Water Margin" with grand narratives full of pleasure and hatred, and was less interested in works that depicted daily trivial matters. It was probably after I was twenty years old that I began to have a strong interest in stories that reflected daily life, and I felt strong emotional resonance from the daily joys and sorrows of ordinary people. In my early years, I always liked to talk about ambitions, full of longing for the future, and a sense of pride in being ambitious in all directions. I thought that being decisive and powerful was a desirable life. However, as time goes by, I feel that the most important things in life are actually three things: keeping one's physical and mental health, finding the person you love, and finding the career you love. If this can be achieved, what else can I ask for?
The tragedy between Xiuzhen and Niuer makes people feel pitiful when reading it. The author's writing style makes people confused about which parts really happened and which ones are the product of memory confusion caused by fever. I personally don't like this narrative method that interweaves reality and illusion, because it successfully blurs the boundaries between reality and fiction, and even makes people question the authenticity of memory and even life. The suffering mother and daughter finally recognized each other but failed to have a happy ending, which added to the tragedy of the story. The older I get, the more I hate stories that end tragically. We have seen too many tragedies in the real world, and I don’t want to read about tragedies while reading. If I were an author, I would rather transform the tragic ending in reality into a happy ending in the novel world. I don't pursue so-called artistry, I just hope that in the world of novels, all difficulties can be eliminated.
If I have children in the future, I'm not sure I will be like many parents who teach their children to divide people into good and bad people. I even began to wonder whether many adults still simply divide people in the world into good and bad. For almost 20 years, from elementary school to graduate school, I have always been a rule follower. When I was in elementary school, I stopped my classmates from copying their homework. When I was in junior high school, I reported my classmates to the invigilator for cheating. When I was asked by the teacher in my undergraduate degree whether my roommate came to class, I answered truthfully. I always tried to act according to the so-called correct "rules", but these behaviors eventually caused me brought many negative consequences. In my mind, I am doing the things of a "good person", but in the eyes of others, I may become a "bad person". A person who is regarded as a prodigal because of his squandering of family property, and a person who steals to support his younger brother's education. Is this person a good or bad person? A plainclothesman who eliminates harm to people by solving cases, a plainclothesman who finds clues to solve the case through a little girl and arrests the little girl's friend. Is he good or bad? As I grow older, I realize more and more that there are no absolute good and bad people in the world. Everything depends on the relationship between the other person and us. Those who are close to us and friendly to us, even thieves, may appear cute in our eyes; and those so-called "righteous" guardians who have nothing to do with us may sometimes not be accepted by us.
The author was estimated to be about 10 years old when he was in third grade. Some adults often think that children do not understand the world and cannot understand the emotional entanglements of adults, but I don’t think so. I believe that although children may not fully understand the love between men and women in the adult world, they have the ability to feel these emotions. It may even be that adults tend not to hide their emotions in front of children, allowing children to feel these emotions more directly. Yingzi's father probably had the idea of taking Aunt Nalan as a concubine. However, such a decision makes him happy, but it may make Yingzi's mother a victim. From another perspective, Aunt Lan was sold by her biological mother when she was three years old, and she was likely to become a victim of the infamous "Yangzhou Skinny Horse" that has been circulating for many years. She was officially sold as goods when she was 14 years old. After going through many twists and turns, I finally want to find a satisfactory destination. What’s wrong with that?
Song's mother has two children. Faced with the family's poverty and her husband's inaction, she chose to go out to work and nurse other people's children, leaving her biological daughter to be taken care of by others. Four years later, she discovered that due to her husband's negligence, her son drowned and her daughter was likely to be given away or even sold. Not to mention a hundred years ago, even today, most people in the world may still be driven by instinct to live, get married, have children, and make ends meet day after day. Children who grow up in such an environment are likely to continue this cycle. I am extremely disgusted with the thinking mode that "your parents give birth to you and raise you, and your parents' kindness is as great as the sky". In this world, most relationships should be two-way choices. However, the relationship between parents and children cannot be chosen. Isn’t it absurd to ask children who grow up in a family lacking love to feel grateful from the bottom of their hearts for their parents’ so-called upbringing? These children may even wish they had never been born. How can they be grateful to the people who forcibly brought them into this world? Many people choose to get married and have children out of physiological needs or financial pressure. How is this different from the instinctive reproduction of animals? If a person does not have the ability, confidence, or awareness to take on family responsibilities, it is better to choose to live alone.