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F**k No!: How to stop saying yes, when you can't, you shouldn't, or you just don't want to
With 2 million copies sold worldwide, Sarah Knight's bestselling No F*cks Given Guides prove that she's the Queen of No: no to a single extraneous f*ck given, no to unwanted obligations, no to the boring corporate job you wish you'd left years ago. For Sarah, saying no is easy. But for the rest of us, it's stress-inducing, blood pressure-raising, teeth-grinding hard. And it doesn't have to be. You can say no to doing things you don't want to do--and you can do it all without being selfish, unlikeable, or missing out. With The Joy of No, readers will learn how, and more importantly, when and why to say no.Filled with concrete examples drawn from work, love, family, friendship, and everything in between, and told with the irreverent wit that Sarah's readers love, The Joy of No will help you nope your way to the life you want.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published December 31, 2019
335 people are currently reading
7465 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 320 reviews
December 1, 2022
As a life-long people pleaser myself, I found this book to be educational, insightful and also a lot of fun. Sarah repeatedly emphasizes the importance of knowing when to say no, giving many random examples and answers for each case. I am definitely taking notes from her and applying her methods and advice IRL as of now.
March 5, 2022
Some funny moments had me thinking the author could do stand-up comedy. I liked her book "you do you" much more.
December 25, 2019
Dammit I hate it when the GR app “loses” your incomplete review because you dared switch to another page to look up the meaning of a word so as to not appear a complete ignoramus, sigh. I thought they were working on that. Never mind, starting again...
I don’t read many self-help books, mainly because in my experience they are usually repetitive and patronising collections of personal anecdotes and tortuous reworkings of the central premise (usually the title), padded out over 300 pages. However, I saw this on NetGalley and decided it was an area I could use some help with, and found it an amusing light-hearted guide to navigating personal relationships, which doesn’t take itself too seriously, that I will probably re-read in future.
This turns out to be the fifth book in the author’s “No F***s Given Guides” which began with “The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F***” which I had heard of but conflated in my mind with “The Subtle Art if Not Giving a F***” - I imagine these two best-sellers cover similar territory but had not read either, for reasons stated above. I haven’t read Marie Kondo either although do like her lesson on how to fold a T-shirt. Having clearly found a market, Sarah Knight has gone on to explore related areas like getting organised and celebrating your individuality, and this time she tackles that seemingly innocuous but surprisingly difficult challenge that we all face: saying no!
Explaining that people who have difficulty saying No fall in to four different personality types - People pleasers, Overachievers, FOMO and Pushovers - or combinations thereof (surprise surprise I’m all of these), she starts by exploring the reasons why we have such difficulty turning down requests, be they from colleagues, friends, family or even complete strangers. She breaks these down into chapters with plenty of examples and a few well-chosen and not-too-annoying anecdotes. I like her writing style but if the liberal use of the F-word offends you, you should buy a different book. (Similarly Trump-supporters and the highly religious should skip this one.)
Reading this made me reflect that I have already become a lot better at saying No - to extra work-shifts, to requests to borrow money, to loaning things, but it’s the way I feel about it afterwards - sleepless nights, anxiety about the impact on my relationships, angst about being a bad person... so I think the no-nonsense way she points out that other people aren’t necessarily thinking what you think they are, very helpful. I’m even going to apply this to my reviewing - just because an author or publisher I’ve never heard of reaches out to ask me to review their novel, doesn’t mean I have to...
Yes it gets repetitive, but that didn’t bother me as the general idea is to learn how to use the same principles in different situations - deciding when to reject/decline a request, being polite and/or honest about it, backing yourself and avoiding the associated guilt (the bit I struggle with the most) - which as she points out is mostly self-inflicted. Having stock phrases ready in advance, buying yourself time when caught unprepared, suggested ways of softening your rejection, were all concepts that seem very obvious but made a lot of sense to me. I am actually now tempted to read TLCMONGAF!
My thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc which allowed me to give an honest review. F*** No is available on 31st December.
I don’t read many self-help books, mainly because in my experience they are usually repetitive and patronising collections of personal anecdotes and tortuous reworkings of the central premise (usually the title), padded out over 300 pages. However, I saw this on NetGalley and decided it was an area I could use some help with, and found it an amusing light-hearted guide to navigating personal relationships, which doesn’t take itself too seriously, that I will probably re-read in future.
This turns out to be the fifth book in the author’s “No F***s Given Guides” which began with “The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F***” which I had heard of but conflated in my mind with “The Subtle Art if Not Giving a F***” - I imagine these two best-sellers cover similar territory but had not read either, for reasons stated above. I haven’t read Marie Kondo either although do like her lesson on how to fold a T-shirt. Having clearly found a market, Sarah Knight has gone on to explore related areas like getting organised and celebrating your individuality, and this time she tackles that seemingly innocuous but surprisingly difficult challenge that we all face: saying no!
Explaining that people who have difficulty saying No fall in to four different personality types - People pleasers, Overachievers, FOMO and Pushovers - or combinations thereof (surprise surprise I’m all of these), she starts by exploring the reasons why we have such difficulty turning down requests, be they from colleagues, friends, family or even complete strangers. She breaks these down into chapters with plenty of examples and a few well-chosen and not-too-annoying anecdotes. I like her writing style but if the liberal use of the F-word offends you, you should buy a different book. (Similarly Trump-supporters and the highly religious should skip this one.)
Reading this made me reflect that I have already become a lot better at saying No - to extra work-shifts, to requests to borrow money, to loaning things, but it’s the way I feel about it afterwards - sleepless nights, anxiety about the impact on my relationships, angst about being a bad person... so I think the no-nonsense way she points out that other people aren’t necessarily thinking what you think they are, very helpful. I’m even going to apply this to my reviewing - just because an author or publisher I’ve never heard of reaches out to ask me to review their novel, doesn’t mean I have to...
Yes it gets repetitive, but that didn’t bother me as the general idea is to learn how to use the same principles in different situations - deciding when to reject/decline a request, being polite and/or honest about it, backing yourself and avoiding the associated guilt (the bit I struggle with the most) - which as she points out is mostly self-inflicted. Having stock phrases ready in advance, buying yourself time when caught unprepared, suggested ways of softening your rejection, were all concepts that seem very obvious but made a lot of sense to me. I am actually now tempted to read TLCMONGAF!
My thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc which allowed me to give an honest review. F*** No is available on 31st December.
January 1, 2020
I should have said "no" to this book, and I did, eventually, about halfway through.
I've read a few of Sarah Knight's book in the past, and comparatively speaking, this one was disappointing. There was no useful advice in here, nothing that you couldn't get with a quick google search. In fact, at one point, the book talks about how easy it is for people to find things on google. That's the only good advice that you're going to get. If you have a problem with saying "no," google it and you'll find all the information you need without spending any of your precious "f*ckbucks," both literal and figurative, on this book.
There was a good deal of linking to other parts of the book. I can't remember a single page in my kindle edition that didn't have blue text somewhere on it. The end result is that the book feels more like a click bait website sending you from one article to the other while telling you how great the advice is without actually giving you any advice. I struggle to see how it works in print format when so much energy is spent on sending you to other parts of the book. Like a choose your own adventure book only with no plot and no ending.
We all know Sarah Knight made a parody about Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which is all well and good. It was funny and original and actually had some useful advice. But that was five books ago. And bringing it up five books later just seems petty. Maybe there's only so much anti-self-help to be written before someone runs out of ideas. Or maybe if a little more time had been dedicated to this book it might have actually had some useful information. As it stands, the book seems nothing more than a cheap gimmick trying to cash grab on previous books' successes. At some point the same old gag gets tired, and substance is needed to make the book worthwhile.
If you're looking for a New Year's Resolution to stop saying yes to everything, I did a google search and here's a helpful article from 2015. 7 Ways to Say No To Someone and Not Feel Bad About It. It's just as useful as this book and takes a fraction of the time to read. I just saved you some f*ckbucks. I also got better advice from the Peloton app on this topic than I did from this book. "If it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no."
Give this one a pass and read one of Sarah Knight's older books instead.
I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.
I've read a few of Sarah Knight's book in the past, and comparatively speaking, this one was disappointing. There was no useful advice in here, nothing that you couldn't get with a quick google search. In fact, at one point, the book talks about how easy it is for people to find things on google. That's the only good advice that you're going to get. If you have a problem with saying "no," google it and you'll find all the information you need without spending any of your precious "f*ckbucks," both literal and figurative, on this book.
There was a good deal of linking to other parts of the book. I can't remember a single page in my kindle edition that didn't have blue text somewhere on it. The end result is that the book feels more like a click bait website sending you from one article to the other while telling you how great the advice is without actually giving you any advice. I struggle to see how it works in print format when so much energy is spent on sending you to other parts of the book. Like a choose your own adventure book only with no plot and no ending.
We all know Sarah Knight made a parody about Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which is all well and good. It was funny and original and actually had some useful advice. But that was five books ago. And bringing it up five books later just seems petty. Maybe there's only so much anti-self-help to be written before someone runs out of ideas. Or maybe if a little more time had been dedicated to this book it might have actually had some useful information. As it stands, the book seems nothing more than a cheap gimmick trying to cash grab on previous books' successes. At some point the same old gag gets tired, and substance is needed to make the book worthwhile.
If you're looking for a New Year's Resolution to stop saying yes to everything, I did a google search and here's a helpful article from 2015. 7 Ways to Say No To Someone and Not Feel Bad About It. It's just as useful as this book and takes a fraction of the time to read. I just saved you some f*ckbucks. I also got better advice from the Peloton app on this topic than I did from this book. "If it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no."
Give this one a pass and read one of Sarah Knight's older books instead.
I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.
December 30, 2019
I love how timely Sarah Knight's books come into my life. In F*ck No, not only does she presents creative answers to a varied range of situations, but the book can help you (like I'm trying to convince myself right now) to understand when someone says "No" to you.
Yes, it can be hard, yes, it's not easy, but we need to say no and choose ourselves before everybody else. But you have to understand that if you ask something to someone, they too can choose themselves. That's the hardest part!
Like in every book, Sarah's sarcasm is priceless. I haven't realized how many puns you could do with "No"... It's really funny!
Many thanks to Little, Brown and Company for the complimentary e-copy of this book through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
Yes, it can be hard, yes, it's not easy, but we need to say no and choose ourselves before everybody else. But you have to understand that if you ask something to someone, they too can choose themselves. That's the hardest part!
Like in every book, Sarah's sarcasm is priceless. I haven't realized how many puns you could do with "No"... It's really funny!
Many thanks to Little, Brown and Company for the complimentary e-copy of this book through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
December 27, 2019
I always enjoy a new book from Sarah Knight! She’s blunt and to the point but helps you’d simplify how you can handle certain situations without causing you more stress. Funny and quirky and highly entertaining with her words of wisdom may just be the perfect book for you to start in the new year!
December 28, 2019
If there was ever a person who needed a book about how to say no, it's me. So thank you to the publishers for giving me an ARC in return for my unbiased review!
My inability to say no has impacted my life greatly. Ultimately, I like saying yes. I think that just comes down to it. I like being able to solve a problem someone else experiences, I like being able to take some work from someone else, being able to say, "sure, don't worry, I got it."
And like, I think this is mostly a good thing. With some of my wonderful friends, it builds a connection where both of you will always help each other. It's amazing to know there's someone out there who will always say yes to you. (Or as I used to refer to it, it's what happens when a Hufflepuff befriends other Hufflepuffs or Slytherins).
Anyways, I read this book because I wanted some help in learning when is it okay to say no. I've found myself slowly realizing that my desire to always say yes comes at the cost of my time and my mental health as well as people's respect towards those things. It is time to learn when to say no.
However, and unfortunately, this isn't what this book is about. Instead, Sarah Knight provides us people-pleasers with a very long list of ways to say no. She seems to assume that our problem is that we simply don't have the words, that if I knew how to say no, I would say no.
This is ridiculous because I know how to express myself. My problem isn't that I just don't know how to say no. It's that I second-guess each no, that I say yes before even thinking about it, that I feel terrible whenever I say no. I was hoping this book would deal with those things.
And yeah, there's a chapter about this but in it, Knight essentially says that it's always okay to say no, or at least, that it's almost always okay to say no. Now, when it comes down to it, I just don't agree with this attitude.
I want to live in a world where if I need help, I can ask people and they'll say yes. I wonder if Knight has ever tried to arrange something and felt how incredibly frustrating it is to need something from people and have all of them be absolutely useless. Or what it's like to arrange some type of gathering and have everyone cancel. Or to need help at work and get tons of excuses from everyone.
Ultimately, even if you manage to mask your "no" in a nice way, you're still saying no. There's no way to hide that and I think we have to consider the implications of saying no. We have to consider the values that we're building our society with when we teach that you can say no whenever you just don't want to do something.
Knight touches upon this briefly in the last chapter. It's not enough. The world Knight is describing is one where everyone selfishly chooses how to act based on their own comforts and needs all the time, where that's the only thing that guides you.
I would much rather create relationships that foster honesty and loyalty. Where we can say things like, "mm, I'm not in the mood but like, I can see that you need my help so I'm going to do it" and this clarifies to the other person where you stand. Or alternatively, "I don't really want to do this but like, if you absolutely need me to, I will," and that the other side will be honest and demand only what is fair. Where when we say a Hard No, it's because we absolutely do not or can not do the thing and then the other person will respect it.
I just feel like saying yes does open doors and it does lead to stronger relationships. And yeah, I should be more careful when it comes to the people I choose to say yes to but with those people, it's amazing to know that we have each other's back, even when it's inconvenient.
Beyond this, this book could have been a nice blog post. As a book, it was way too repetitive. I mean, come on, I don't need to be told the same thing a dozen times, I get it. The lack of conversation about the impact of your words was disappointing.
Knight's narrative voice is the type of quirky and jokey voice that some readers will adore and others will despise. I was pretty neutral, I didn't laugh but I also didn't find it very annoying. There's a lot of cursing which might make some readers uncomfortable.
So yeah, if you're the kind of person that struggles with wording your nos and you need a book giving you phrases for pretty much every situation you'll encounter in life, this is the book for you. For me, I'm probably going to stick to my people pleaser ways.
What I'm Taking With Me
- I can't shake the feeling that in like 10 years (if the world will still exist), future me is gonna look at this and go, "ugh, I can't believe I thought these things, this is why no one ever treated me with respect".
- I will say that the FuckNoTes were cute.
- Ack, it's late. I've got to sleep.
My inability to say no has impacted my life greatly. Ultimately, I like saying yes. I think that just comes down to it. I like being able to solve a problem someone else experiences, I like being able to take some work from someone else, being able to say, "sure, don't worry, I got it."
And like, I think this is mostly a good thing. With some of my wonderful friends, it builds a connection where both of you will always help each other. It's amazing to know there's someone out there who will always say yes to you. (Or as I used to refer to it, it's what happens when a Hufflepuff befriends other Hufflepuffs or Slytherins).
Anyways, I read this book because I wanted some help in learning when is it okay to say no. I've found myself slowly realizing that my desire to always say yes comes at the cost of my time and my mental health as well as people's respect towards those things. It is time to learn when to say no.
However, and unfortunately, this isn't what this book is about. Instead, Sarah Knight provides us people-pleasers with a very long list of ways to say no. She seems to assume that our problem is that we simply don't have the words, that if I knew how to say no, I would say no.
This is ridiculous because I know how to express myself. My problem isn't that I just don't know how to say no. It's that I second-guess each no, that I say yes before even thinking about it, that I feel terrible whenever I say no. I was hoping this book would deal with those things.
And yeah, there's a chapter about this but in it, Knight essentially says that it's always okay to say no, or at least, that it's almost always okay to say no. Now, when it comes down to it, I just don't agree with this attitude.
I want to live in a world where if I need help, I can ask people and they'll say yes. I wonder if Knight has ever tried to arrange something and felt how incredibly frustrating it is to need something from people and have all of them be absolutely useless. Or what it's like to arrange some type of gathering and have everyone cancel. Or to need help at work and get tons of excuses from everyone.
Ultimately, even if you manage to mask your "no" in a nice way, you're still saying no. There's no way to hide that and I think we have to consider the implications of saying no. We have to consider the values that we're building our society with when we teach that you can say no whenever you just don't want to do something.
Knight touches upon this briefly in the last chapter. It's not enough. The world Knight is describing is one where everyone selfishly chooses how to act based on their own comforts and needs all the time, where that's the only thing that guides you.
I would much rather create relationships that foster honesty and loyalty. Where we can say things like, "mm, I'm not in the mood but like, I can see that you need my help so I'm going to do it" and this clarifies to the other person where you stand. Or alternatively, "I don't really want to do this but like, if you absolutely need me to, I will," and that the other side will be honest and demand only what is fair. Where when we say a Hard No, it's because we absolutely do not or can not do the thing and then the other person will respect it.
I just feel like saying yes does open doors and it does lead to stronger relationships. And yeah, I should be more careful when it comes to the people I choose to say yes to but with those people, it's amazing to know that we have each other's back, even when it's inconvenient.
Beyond this, this book could have been a nice blog post. As a book, it was way too repetitive. I mean, come on, I don't need to be told the same thing a dozen times, I get it. The lack of conversation about the impact of your words was disappointing.
Knight's narrative voice is the type of quirky and jokey voice that some readers will adore and others will despise. I was pretty neutral, I didn't laugh but I also didn't find it very annoying. There's a lot of cursing which might make some readers uncomfortable.
So yeah, if you're the kind of person that struggles with wording your nos and you need a book giving you phrases for pretty much every situation you'll encounter in life, this is the book for you. For me, I'm probably going to stick to my people pleaser ways.
What I'm Taking With Me
- I can't shake the feeling that in like 10 years (if the world will still exist), future me is gonna look at this and go, "ugh, I can't believe I thought these things, this is why no one ever treated me with respect".
- I will say that the FuckNoTes were cute.
- Ack, it's late. I've got to sleep.
June 17, 2022
An empowering, tough-love, profanity-laced journey into boundaries, etiquette, breaking cultural norms, and defeating your inner Yes-Men. A good read for pushovers, overachievers, people-pleasers, and those who hate to miss out, or in fact for anyone who's trying to get a better handle on when and how to say no. Like most self-help books, the sample phrases are not universally applicable (especially because strong use of snark is not for everyone) but enough room is given for customization that the tips themselves hold true. The big impact of this book is convincing the reader that they deserve to say no at any time and for any reason, because their time and energy are valuable and worth protecting. It helped this reader - and piqued my interest in Knight's other volumes.
-Callen
-Callen
November 25, 2019
Some useful tips on how to say no...but it can get very repetitive and could have easily been half the book that it is.
April 6, 2020
Fuck YES, go read this book. Fuck NO to everything else!
Although familiar with, I'm new to Sarah Knight's books. I have no problem Not Giving a F*ck, and I pretty much have my Shit Together, but I do have a big problem saying NO. Mostly I'd prefer that people not ask me to do things, because I don't want to be put in the position of having to say no, or more accurately, wanting to say no, but most of the time, saying yes for the sake of being nice.
This book helped me identify why I say yes, because sometimes, I honestly did not know myself. It turns out I'm both a push-over, a people-pleaser, and an overachiever. That all leads to A LOT of yes', that really should have been no's. So now I'm committing, right here for 2020 to not only be the year of NO, but FUCK NO. I am taking back my time, my energy, and my money.
Also, if anyone is open to being the PTA Treasurer, Secretary of Woman's Club, or providing BBQ chicken for that wrestling tournament coming up, please let me know. After that, go buy and read this book! I'll be kicking my feet up, reading another book, and enjoying a glass of wine instead.
*Many thanks to the publisher for providing my review copy via NetGalley.
Although familiar with, I'm new to Sarah Knight's books. I have no problem Not Giving a F*ck, and I pretty much have my Shit Together, but I do have a big problem saying NO. Mostly I'd prefer that people not ask me to do things, because I don't want to be put in the position of having to say no, or more accurately, wanting to say no, but most of the time, saying yes for the sake of being nice.
This book helped me identify why I say yes, because sometimes, I honestly did not know myself. It turns out I'm both a push-over, a people-pleaser, and an overachiever. That all leads to A LOT of yes', that really should have been no's. So now I'm committing, right here for 2020 to not only be the year of NO, but FUCK NO. I am taking back my time, my energy, and my money.
Also, if anyone is open to being the PTA Treasurer, Secretary of Woman's Club, or providing BBQ chicken for that wrestling tournament coming up, please let me know. After that, go buy and read this book! I'll be kicking my feet up, reading another book, and enjoying a glass of wine instead.
*Many thanks to the publisher for providing my review copy via NetGalley.
January 6, 2020
Thank you for the opportunity to read and review another wonderful book from Knight. I love her work! I felt like this book was written for me!! "how to stop saying yes when you can''t" YES! I really enjoy her writing style and how she is not just harping at you. It feels like she is talking to you and telling you how you can really change in a practical way.
July 27, 2020
For me, this was a one star book, but I gave it three stars because I do recognize the advice will work for some people. There’s a fine line between looking out for yourself and being callous and rude. Sometimes that line felt like it had been crossed.
This unbiased review is based on a complimentary copy provided by the publisher.
This unbiased review is based on a complimentary copy provided by the publisher.
May 22, 2020
How to set boundaries and ignore your inner FOMO/people pleaser/overachiever/pushover. One of the only books I’ve read where I actually took notes
March 9, 2020
The spouse and family sections were great additions as well as the reminder to say no to your kids once in a while. I want to say no to something right now!!!
didn-t-finish
December 1, 2020DNF @ 35%
*Received an e-Arc via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*
I thought I would enjoy this because my main complaint with Sarah Knight's first book was that she tells us to start saying no, but doesn't really tell us HOW. This seems like perfect solution right? But I think this book has solidified that Sarah Knight is not the self-help author for me. I liked The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck just fine and Get Your Shit Together was also fine for me, although I liked it less than her first book. This book was on the trajectory to be liked even less than that.
I just realized that this whole philosophy just felt very selfish to me. one of the first examples she gives is saying No to going to your (hypothetical) sister's child's birthday party. Alright, I get it you don't want to go, but this is an important event for your sister (who I assume is someone you love), you can't give up what? 3 hours to see your sister happy? Maybe it's the "people pleaser" in me, but this and a lot of the other examples I saw just rubbed me the wrong way. Knight would argue that you shouldn't feel guilt for disappointing your sister and that your sister shouldn't be disappointed in you, but that's just not realistic.
I also was starting to feel like the book was getting repetitive. After the first 2 or 3 chapters, it's just a list of scenarios and ways to say no to them.
*Received an e-Arc via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*
I thought I would enjoy this because my main complaint with Sarah Knight's first book was that she tells us to start saying no, but doesn't really tell us HOW. This seems like perfect solution right? But I think this book has solidified that Sarah Knight is not the self-help author for me. I liked The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck just fine and Get Your Shit Together was also fine for me, although I liked it less than her first book. This book was on the trajectory to be liked even less than that.
I just realized that this whole philosophy just felt very selfish to me. one of the first examples she gives is saying No to going to your (hypothetical) sister's child's birthday party. Alright, I get it you don't want to go, but this is an important event for your sister (who I assume is someone you love), you can't give up what? 3 hours to see your sister happy? Maybe it's the "people pleaser" in me, but this and a lot of the other examples I saw just rubbed me the wrong way. Knight would argue that you shouldn't feel guilt for disappointing your sister and that your sister shouldn't be disappointed in you, but that's just not realistic.
I also was starting to feel like the book was getting repetitive. After the first 2 or 3 chapters, it's just a list of scenarios and ways to say no to them.
January 12, 2020
Review: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
.
‘Fuck No!’ is Sarah Knight’s fifth book in her ‘No Fucks Given Guide’ series. These books just keep getting better and better! Each book focuses on a different skill. This one focuses on “How to stop saying yes when you can’t, you shouldn’t, or you just don’t want to.” I am definitely a people-pleasing pushover, and this book was so helpful in helping me realise it is ok to say no, as well as providing ways to say no to certain people/situations. What makes these books so different from other self-help books is that they are lighthearted while still imparting important advice. And of course the swearing is right up my alley! If you haven’t picked up any of her books, I highly recommend it if one appeals to you and something you have difficulty in.
All the additional material (i.e. the flowcharts, the Fuck Notes) make this book so much fun and very interactive. It gives you an opportunity to practice what you are being taught. I also must commend Sarah on having all these extra materials available on her website in case you run out of room allocated in the book, or simply don't want to write in the book itself.
.
‘Fuck No!’ is Sarah Knight’s fifth book in her ‘No Fucks Given Guide’ series. These books just keep getting better and better! Each book focuses on a different skill. This one focuses on “How to stop saying yes when you can’t, you shouldn’t, or you just don’t want to.” I am definitely a people-pleasing pushover, and this book was so helpful in helping me realise it is ok to say no, as well as providing ways to say no to certain people/situations. What makes these books so different from other self-help books is that they are lighthearted while still imparting important advice. And of course the swearing is right up my alley! If you haven’t picked up any of her books, I highly recommend it if one appeals to you and something you have difficulty in.
All the additional material (i.e. the flowcharts, the Fuck Notes) make this book so much fun and very interactive. It gives you an opportunity to practice what you are being taught. I also must commend Sarah on having all these extra materials available on her website in case you run out of room allocated in the book, or simply don't want to write in the book itself.
December 23, 2019
I have a problem. The same problem that many people suffer from. I say “yes”, when I really want to say “no”. This is seen a lot when it comes to plans. I’ll say “yes” because I feel like I should. If I was invited, then I should go. But the day of, I have anxiety and I try to find ways to get out of it, sometimes unsuccessfully. When I saw this book to review on Netgalley, I downloaded it right away. I loved Sarah Knights other books, and I was hoping she would teach me the art of just saying NO!
This book was great! I learned a lot and actually started putting what I learned into practice. I was able to say “no” to two Christmas parties that I didn’t want to go to. I said no right away (nicely of course) and then didn’t think about it again.
Do yourself a favor and pick up this book. If you are the kind of person to say “yes” in your personal or professional life when you really want to say “no” this is the book for you!
This book was great! I learned a lot and actually started putting what I learned into practice. I was able to say “no” to two Christmas parties that I didn’t want to go to. I said no right away (nicely of course) and then didn’t think about it again.
Do yourself a favor and pick up this book. If you are the kind of person to say “yes” in your personal or professional life when you really want to say “no” this is the book for you!
December 20, 2019
I enjoy Sarah Knight's book so much. Her blunt wisdom and practical techniques are approachable and relatable. I am working on being less of a “yes” person and one of the biggest things I have learned(and am still working on!) is that saying “NO” can actually help you say “YES” to the things that really matter to you.
In F*ck No, Knight offers practical ideas that can help you say "no" in a variety of circumstances while also being realistic about it which I really appreciated. Saying yes all the time sounds like a good thing, but then you just feel spread too thin and aren’t really there for the people and things that you really want to be prioritizing. Her insights are the perfect balance of humor and useful tools to help work towards our own individual goals of setting boundaries in real-world situations.
I got so much out this one and I highly recommend it! Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown & Company for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
In F*ck No, Knight offers practical ideas that can help you say "no" in a variety of circumstances while also being realistic about it which I really appreciated. Saying yes all the time sounds like a good thing, but then you just feel spread too thin and aren’t really there for the people and things that you really want to be prioritizing. Her insights are the perfect balance of humor and useful tools to help work towards our own individual goals of setting boundaries in real-world situations.
I got so much out this one and I highly recommend it! Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown & Company for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.
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January 15, 2020I received a copy of this via Netgalley for an honest review.
No No and more No thats the new answer for all things overachieving in 2020. This year is all about self care for me and this book was just one more in the list of getting to where I want to be. Its extremely relatable and informative. Its okay to say no for whatever reason we want. There is absolutely no reason to say yes to something you want to or need to say no to and Sarah Knight does a great job explaining that.
No No and more No thats the new answer for all things overachieving in 2020. This year is all about self care for me and this book was just one more in the list of getting to where I want to be. Its extremely relatable and informative. Its okay to say no for whatever reason we want. There is absolutely no reason to say yes to something you want to or need to say no to and Sarah Knight does a great job explaining that.
November 21, 2019
A useful book on assertiveness and how to learn to say no.
It's well written, informative and full of useful advice.
Recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine.
It's well written, informative and full of useful advice.
Recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine.
January 15, 2020
With it's attention grabbing title; and being familiar with Sarah Knight's previous novels / style of writing; I was quick to download this ARC; finding it was exactly what I needed. A no nonsense, witty book about the art of saying no; perfect for a people pleaser and overachiever such as myself.
February 8, 2024
This book, after reading a few pages, and then skimming the rest, inspired me to say "Fuck No! I'm not going to read this!" And return it to my local branch 💅 so I think that's fine. Message received! Practice engaged! Onward
April 23, 2020
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 - Despite the negative theme, F*ck No is a light and hilarious read. For real, no other author gets me giggling like Sarah Knight 😂👏🏼
According to Knight’s Why-Do-I-Say-Yes-All-The-Goddamn-Time quiz, I too am people-pleasing overachiever. I do think I could use a little more NO in my life and while I’m definitely not as bold or nearly as funny as Knight, l do feel like left this me with an appreciation for how saying no can have a positive impact on my life. It also made saying no sound like fun so I should probably remind mind myself that it should only be applied in cases when I can’t, shouldn’t or just don’t want to 😂
I do think that this practice goes much beyond reading a single book. Some examples and scenarios in this won’t necessarily apply to daily life (unless any of you plan on maybe picking up a tank of live eels!? No judgment). For me, it was an entertaining with valid points to jot down!
According to Knight’s Why-Do-I-Say-Yes-All-The-Goddamn-Time quiz, I too am people-pleasing overachiever. I do think I could use a little more NO in my life and while I’m definitely not as bold or nearly as funny as Knight, l do feel like left this me with an appreciation for how saying no can have a positive impact on my life. It also made saying no sound like fun so I should probably remind mind myself that it should only be applied in cases when I can’t, shouldn’t or just don’t want to 😂
I do think that this practice goes much beyond reading a single book. Some examples and scenarios in this won’t necessarily apply to daily life (unless any of you plan on maybe picking up a tank of live eels!? No judgment). For me, it was an entertaining with valid points to jot down!
March 5, 2020
Sarah Knight doesn't mince her words, and she doesn't make you read into her advice: life is busy, and you need to decide what, how, and when you actually want to do things, and if you DON'T want to do something, it's pretty simple: SAY NO!
I enjoyed the humor and the simplicity of this text. Sometimes we just need someone to remind us that it's ok to say no to things that we may feel we are expected to say yes to. Knight outlines four different reasons (or types of people) that make us want to say yes when we really just want to say no, and she completely nails it. There are different reasons we decide to put others before us when we just want to say no. There are also different scenarios that we are put in where we need to say no: some of those applied to me, and some of those didn't, but I appreciated all the different scenarios Knight presented, even if some didn't apply. (They were all discussed with humor, which made it enjoyable!)
I enjoyed this. Sometimes we just need a funny, witty voice reminding us to do WHAT WE WANT TO DO. Because we only live once:)
I enjoyed the humor and the simplicity of this text. Sometimes we just need someone to remind us that it's ok to say no to things that we may feel we are expected to say yes to. Knight outlines four different reasons (or types of people) that make us want to say yes when we really just want to say no, and she completely nails it. There are different reasons we decide to put others before us when we just want to say no. There are also different scenarios that we are put in where we need to say no: some of those applied to me, and some of those didn't, but I appreciated all the different scenarios Knight presented, even if some didn't apply. (They were all discussed with humor, which made it enjoyable!)
I enjoyed this. Sometimes we just need a funny, witty voice reminding us to do WHAT WE WANT TO DO. Because we only live once:)
July 2, 2020
This is important info. It could have been an article, hence the few stars. I have to say I’m still thinking about when one does something one doesn’t want to do because thoughtfulness and unselfishness on the part of those who have for those who don’t help make the world go round and communities sustain themselves. But obviously some of us are saying yes too much and need this and I am often one of them, but still processing my Christian ideals about suffering with those who suffer and bearing each others’ burdens.
August 27, 2020
A lot of words that can be articulated in one article without the unnecessary eloquent language, and the "I know it all" attitude. The message that the book is conveying is good though, but the repetition and the dull literary style kills it, so I had to stop listening to the audio book as I thought there's nothing really new is being said.
November 19, 2023
It even includes scripts for how to say no in different situations lol
March 5, 2020
Enjoyed this book more than expected! A good book that provides new perspectives and challenges some (maybe bad) habits. Read it in small bits while on the bus to work. I found this way much better, as it gave me time to digest and think about the content.
November 24, 2019
How does someone get better at saying "No?" Why would you want to be better at saying no? According to Sarah Knight and her successful series of books that tackle everything from not giving a f*ck to putting oneself first, there is a myriad of tricks and practices everyone who has problems with saying no can learn out of the safety of their lounge.
How is this book written for the audience?
Sarah Knight has made a successful career out of helping people face their fears and shortcomings, and she continues this stride with her latest book, F*ck No!: How to Stop Saying Yes When You Can't, You Shouldn't, or You Just Don't Want To. Sarah is a TED speaker and a New York Times bestselling author. So what makes it so easy for some of us to say no, and why is it so hard for others? Sarah speaks from personal experience as a full-time corporate book editor who got tired of giving authors lousy news daily. Ask yourself if you have ever been the person that always has to please everyone? Or the push-over that always caves when they should stand their ground? Or even the overachiever that takes on way too much work for minimal reward or none at all? If you can relate to any of these scenarios, you will benefit greatly from reading this book.
Some of the highlights of this book included the following advice that Sarah offers unapologetically to the reader:
- Building real, applicable boundaries for yourself and those people in your life you find it hard to say no to. These people can be family members, friends, bosses or colleagues. It doesn't matter because Sarah's advice can be moulded around to fit with any relationship that you have.
- Having personal policies that help you to apply the boundaries you've created to real-world situations.
- Dealing with those people that won't take "no" for an answer and how to continue being in control when you don't feel in control
- Dealing with the guilt of saying "no" in a responsible way that can come in many shapes and forms
- Approaching the "fall out" or consequences of saying "no" and working to move beyond these limitations
The language used – is it simple enough to understand for the everyday reader?
One of the essential concepts in Sarah's book is that not all situations and examples will be something you can relate to. This book is structured in such a way that you can skip and re-read sections that are relevant to you and your life. After all, this book is all about improving yourself, and only you know where that improvement needs to be applied.
As an example, I'll use my own experience here - I don't have a single problem with telling telemarketers "no" or telling door-to-door sellers "no, but thank you!" But some people might. Sarah has thought about her material extensively, and I do mean that this book is extremely comprehensive and covers just about every situation you could imagine and then some. So again, you can pick up this book and apply what you've learned to Sarah's material - look at the chapters you want to look at and ignore the rest. Or, if you're a completionist (like I tend to be), read the entire book and apply only what you know to be relevant when required. It is that simple.
That said, however, the language used in this book may be a little "blunt" for some readers. Not all readers will appreciate the way Sarah uses certain words (mostly slang and swear words) in her writing. So this book won't appeal to everyone. But I enjoyed the stripped-down nature of the book, and its rawness made it easier for me to feel comfortable reading about difficult situations. I prefer the no-nonsense approach.
What can be gained from the book – does it educate the reader?
I didn't choose to review this book because of any particular need that I had other than I wanted to read it because I thought the subject matter would be interesting. And I also appreciate the way that Sarah approaches her material. But the further into this book I progressed the more I began to realise that this book is addressing experiences I have had. I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe or like I was choking because of the pressure other people in my life were putting onto me. I remember the horrible feeling that crept over me whenever I said "yes" to a person I didn't like. I remember how annoyed and disgusted with myself I felt because I had given into the guilt, yet again. I am one of the people that Sarah has spent a considerable chunk of her career trying to reach out to. Perhaps something subconsciously was telling me I needed to read this book. Maybe the experience can be the same for you too. This book could be a revelation or could provide clarity into your shortcomings or even deeper than that.
How is this book written for the audience?
Sarah Knight has made a successful career out of helping people face their fears and shortcomings, and she continues this stride with her latest book, F*ck No!: How to Stop Saying Yes When You Can't, You Shouldn't, or You Just Don't Want To. Sarah is a TED speaker and a New York Times bestselling author. So what makes it so easy for some of us to say no, and why is it so hard for others? Sarah speaks from personal experience as a full-time corporate book editor who got tired of giving authors lousy news daily. Ask yourself if you have ever been the person that always has to please everyone? Or the push-over that always caves when they should stand their ground? Or even the overachiever that takes on way too much work for minimal reward or none at all? If you can relate to any of these scenarios, you will benefit greatly from reading this book.
Some of the highlights of this book included the following advice that Sarah offers unapologetically to the reader:
- Building real, applicable boundaries for yourself and those people in your life you find it hard to say no to. These people can be family members, friends, bosses or colleagues. It doesn't matter because Sarah's advice can be moulded around to fit with any relationship that you have.
- Having personal policies that help you to apply the boundaries you've created to real-world situations.
- Dealing with those people that won't take "no" for an answer and how to continue being in control when you don't feel in control
- Dealing with the guilt of saying "no" in a responsible way that can come in many shapes and forms
- Approaching the "fall out" or consequences of saying "no" and working to move beyond these limitations
The language used – is it simple enough to understand for the everyday reader?
One of the essential concepts in Sarah's book is that not all situations and examples will be something you can relate to. This book is structured in such a way that you can skip and re-read sections that are relevant to you and your life. After all, this book is all about improving yourself, and only you know where that improvement needs to be applied.
As an example, I'll use my own experience here - I don't have a single problem with telling telemarketers "no" or telling door-to-door sellers "no, but thank you!" But some people might. Sarah has thought about her material extensively, and I do mean that this book is extremely comprehensive and covers just about every situation you could imagine and then some. So again, you can pick up this book and apply what you've learned to Sarah's material - look at the chapters you want to look at and ignore the rest. Or, if you're a completionist (like I tend to be), read the entire book and apply only what you know to be relevant when required. It is that simple.
That said, however, the language used in this book may be a little "blunt" for some readers. Not all readers will appreciate the way Sarah uses certain words (mostly slang and swear words) in her writing. So this book won't appeal to everyone. But I enjoyed the stripped-down nature of the book, and its rawness made it easier for me to feel comfortable reading about difficult situations. I prefer the no-nonsense approach.
What can be gained from the book – does it educate the reader?
I didn't choose to review this book because of any particular need that I had other than I wanted to read it because I thought the subject matter would be interesting. And I also appreciate the way that Sarah approaches her material. But the further into this book I progressed the more I began to realise that this book is addressing experiences I have had. I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe or like I was choking because of the pressure other people in my life were putting onto me. I remember the horrible feeling that crept over me whenever I said "yes" to a person I didn't like. I remember how annoyed and disgusted with myself I felt because I had given into the guilt, yet again. I am one of the people that Sarah has spent a considerable chunk of her career trying to reach out to. Perhaps something subconsciously was telling me I needed to read this book. Maybe the experience can be the same for you too. This book could be a revelation or could provide clarity into your shortcomings or even deeper than that.
February 29, 2020
I enjoy these books, they have useful tips and suggestions and are funny and not at all cheesy which is rare for self help.
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