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Can't Breathe: A Memoir
“Beautifully rendered – honest and raw…[Laesa’s] writing will bring you to tears and fill you with hope.” - Hilary Yancey; author of Forgiving God
A child born too early, clinging to life. Her heart is incorrectly formed. Her airway is compromised. She is unable to swallow or breathe.
A mother losing, finding and remaking herself, again and again.
A family who refuses to give up.
Can’t Breathe is a young mom’s compelling recollection of her medically complex daughter’s journey toward life. Evelyn Faith survives—she even thrives. But her path is unimaginably hard, riddled with pain and trauma, hope and miracles, and incessant uncertainty.
This beautifully written, harrowing book captures the nuances of life with a special-needs child. It is a map of the boundlessness of the human spirit and the love that drives parents onward whatever the cost. In this debut memoir, Laesa Kim reaches into her darkest and most private depths to share the truth—the struggles and joys she and mothers like her face each day.
A child born too early, clinging to life. Her heart is incorrectly formed. Her airway is compromised. She is unable to swallow or breathe.
A mother losing, finding and remaking herself, again and again.
A family who refuses to give up.
Can’t Breathe is a young mom’s compelling recollection of her medically complex daughter’s journey toward life. Evelyn Faith survives—she even thrives. But her path is unimaginably hard, riddled with pain and trauma, hope and miracles, and incessant uncertainty.
This beautifully written, harrowing book captures the nuances of life with a special-needs child. It is a map of the boundlessness of the human spirit and the love that drives parents onward whatever the cost. In this debut memoir, Laesa Kim reaches into her darkest and most private depths to share the truth—the struggles and joys she and mothers like her face each day.
- GenresMemoir
260 pages, Paperback
Published March 6, 2020
5 people are currently reading
284 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
March 16, 2020
Full disclosure: I'm the editor of this book, so I've read it many, many times.
It is beautifully written from a place of strength, wisdom and breathtaking openness. I will be a kinder person forever because of the way it took me into the lives of ordinary people suffering more than I can imagine, who are still going out to buy milk and making school lunches. I've always believed in the value of kindness "because everyone is carrying a heavy load," but honestly, I had no IDEA how heavy that load could be until reading this.
This book is a lot, and there will be tears. But for me, most of those tears were joyful, as I learned more about the immensity of human strength and kindness. Yes, there is lots of suffering in this book ... But it's not about that. At all, really. It's about love. Strength that comes only when it's needed. About mastery ... The doctors, nurses and other health professionals that make miracles happen everyday. And the ones that miss the mark. It's about a good marriage, and a good, good man -- one that comes home after working hard all day and says "where do you need me?" It's about how far parents will go to make sure their children have the fullest, richest possible lives, even when those parents are full of fear.
Most of all, it's about the fact that you don't have to live life in fear, because if the worst happens, you will find strength you didn't know you have.
If you loved When Breath Becomes Air, you will love this book. I wish I could send a copy to everyone I love. It's that good.
It is beautifully written from a place of strength, wisdom and breathtaking openness. I will be a kinder person forever because of the way it took me into the lives of ordinary people suffering more than I can imagine, who are still going out to buy milk and making school lunches. I've always believed in the value of kindness "because everyone is carrying a heavy load," but honestly, I had no IDEA how heavy that load could be until reading this.
This book is a lot, and there will be tears. But for me, most of those tears were joyful, as I learned more about the immensity of human strength and kindness. Yes, there is lots of suffering in this book ... But it's not about that. At all, really. It's about love. Strength that comes only when it's needed. About mastery ... The doctors, nurses and other health professionals that make miracles happen everyday. And the ones that miss the mark. It's about a good marriage, and a good, good man -- one that comes home after working hard all day and says "where do you need me?" It's about how far parents will go to make sure their children have the fullest, richest possible lives, even when those parents are full of fear.
Most of all, it's about the fact that you don't have to live life in fear, because if the worst happens, you will find strength you didn't know you have.
If you loved When Breath Becomes Air, you will love this book. I wish I could send a copy to everyone I love. It's that good.
March 14, 2020
The beautiful story of a brave little girl and the family that walks alongside her.
Laesa paints a vivid picture that can be hard to see- a sick baby, hard choices, long days, and the struggles of navigating the medical system. She also shares the joys and moments of love that live within her story, too. Recommended reading for anyone who loves someone.
Laesa paints a vivid picture that can be hard to see- a sick baby, hard choices, long days, and the struggles of navigating the medical system. She also shares the joys and moments of love that live within her story, too. Recommended reading for anyone who loves someone.
June 17, 2020
Beautifully and eloquently written - this book took me and swallowed me whole. A story about perseverance and strength in impossible circumstances, and a story about unconditional love. A must-read. For nurses and other healthcare providers, even more so - as a pediatric nurse this story gave me a new perspective and I have had very few shifts (or days) since reading where it did not cross my mind. Thank you for this, Laesa.
March 12, 2020
Wow. This was a difficult read. Not because it was poorly written (it’s not) or the pacing (which is fine) or the nonlinear story telling (which took a minute to get used to) but because we live the special needs life, and there was so much ‘me too’ in this it hurt.
I skimmed parts, almost too scared to deep dive into all the feels. But it resonated. So much of it resonated.
Would recommend, for sure.
I skimmed parts, almost too scared to deep dive into all the feels. But it resonated. So much of it resonated.
Would recommend, for sure.
March 5, 2020
This book is beautiful and raw - it will suck you in and spit you out heartbroken and renewed. Laesa is honest and poetic in her portrayal of the beginning of her daughter's life. A must read for anyone who is looking to understand the story of a medically complex family and the hurt and beauty that come along with that journey.
March 16, 2020
Every sentence was written with intent and emotion. Such a knowledgeable, raw, and sensitive account of a such a personal reality. I was enveloped in this book, finishing in a week.
December 4, 2020
If you love memoirs like I do or if you’re looking to add more nonfiction to your reading life, this book is a must read! Swipe to see the synopsis.
Can’t Breathe is a book that will stick with me for a lifetime, will make me a better nurse and gives me a glimpse of what families I care for are going through on the other side. It was very eye opening and I truly think every person in health care could benefit from reading this book.
Laesa’s writing is absolute stunning. She bares her heart and soul and you feel every single emotion through her words. I was brought to tears almost every single chapter.
The author shares her innermost thoughts from her pregnancy, delivery and period after sweet Evelyn is born where they discover her complex medical needs. She takes you through life in the NICU and PICU, and transitioning home, and the ups and downs along the way. You will feel like you’re watching this amazing and strong family through a window, seeing every single feeling along the way. While heartbreaking to read at times, it is filled with hope, courage and strength and will leave you feeling inspired.
I’ve cared for many kids with similar medical complexities as Evelyn in my 14 years as a peds nurse - I can honestly say this book has changed me as a nurse for the better. Having a family’s perspective from the other side in such detail and honesty is a unique gift and a true blessing. Laesa’s words will stay with me every single day, but especially the days I’m caring our most fragile kiddos.
I don’t normally like to rate memoirs but I can’t imagine giving this beautiful book anything less than 5⭐️s.
Thank you to the author for the gifted copy to review.
Can’t Breathe is a book that will stick with me for a lifetime, will make me a better nurse and gives me a glimpse of what families I care for are going through on the other side. It was very eye opening and I truly think every person in health care could benefit from reading this book.
Laesa’s writing is absolute stunning. She bares her heart and soul and you feel every single emotion through her words. I was brought to tears almost every single chapter.
The author shares her innermost thoughts from her pregnancy, delivery and period after sweet Evelyn is born where they discover her complex medical needs. She takes you through life in the NICU and PICU, and transitioning home, and the ups and downs along the way. You will feel like you’re watching this amazing and strong family through a window, seeing every single feeling along the way. While heartbreaking to read at times, it is filled with hope, courage and strength and will leave you feeling inspired.
I’ve cared for many kids with similar medical complexities as Evelyn in my 14 years as a peds nurse - I can honestly say this book has changed me as a nurse for the better. Having a family’s perspective from the other side in such detail and honesty is a unique gift and a true blessing. Laesa’s words will stay with me every single day, but especially the days I’m caring our most fragile kiddos.
I don’t normally like to rate memoirs but I can’t imagine giving this beautiful book anything less than 5⭐️s.
Thank you to the author for the gifted copy to review.
June 30, 2020
Laesa’s gratitude for the calm sea days, as well as the raging waters walked through - is nothing short of remarkable. She is steadfast - in caring for and advocating for her medically complex child, all the while recognizing her need to nurture her older child - and her marriage. Her acknowledgement of her husband as a good man - one who comes home after working a long, hard day and asks her “Where do you need me”? Her honesty in describing her awareness that her older child is and will be profoundly affected by the family dynamic that shapes around a medically fragile sibling. And her baby girl, born too soon, unable to breathe launches her into a series of life changing and life threatening events. Doctors, hospitals, appointments, surgeries and emergencies, all with the highs and lows of emotion - all captured and delivered with a unique writing style and format.
I have read many memoirs, and am writing one of my own. I found I was anxious to read Can’t Breathe as soon as I received it - but I read it slowly. I wanted to absorb, and process Laesa’s words, thoughts and feelings - as well as my own.
Whether you have a medically complex child, or whether you simply want to read a wonderfully written memoir filled with love overcoming fear, and gratitude overreaching all emotions, do yourself a favour and read Can’t Breathe.
I have read many memoirs, and am writing one of my own. I found I was anxious to read Can’t Breathe as soon as I received it - but I read it slowly. I wanted to absorb, and process Laesa’s words, thoughts and feelings - as well as my own.
Whether you have a medically complex child, or whether you simply want to read a wonderfully written memoir filled with love overcoming fear, and gratitude overreaching all emotions, do yourself a favour and read Can’t Breathe.
December 27, 2020
A beautiful story of a strong family. It also gave me a window into my own daughter’s life as an RN in the same NICU that this sweet little baby started her life in.
March 12, 2024
A thoughtfully written book about the beginning of Evelyn’s life with complex medical needs. But it’s more. Laesa shares the realities of parenting a medically fragile child, living with trauma, anxiety coupled with fierce love and wisdom. It reminded me of my own story as a frequent flyer in the PICU. Laesa has a way of calling out the reader’s own strength, reminding us all off the cord that binds us, even as she weaves her own magnificent vulnerability throughout the book. Very inspiring.
October 19, 2020
This debut book was heartbreaking and hopeful. Full of so much emotion. An incredible achievement and so well composed, the reader feels the mother's journey profoundly. Highly recommend.
June 24, 2020
From the very first page, this memoir captures your heart and pulls you into the inner and honest thoughts of a mother's love and care for her medically complex daughter. Laesa's writing shares her journey of love, self-education and advocacy for her daughter's care as well as her tremendous love for her family. I couldn't put this book down and highly recommend it to others. Thanks Laesa Faith Kim for an exceptional book!
June 6, 2020
A Beautiful Book....
This is a beautifully written story of Laesa’s family and the way they handle the heart wrenching challenges of having a chronically ill child (their daughter, Evelyn).
This is a beautifully written story of Laesa’s family and the way they handle the heart wrenching challenges of having a chronically ill child (their daughter, Evelyn).
April 11, 2020
"𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠." ❤️
❤️
Very rarely you come across books that stirs so many emotions in you that you never knew existed. Can't breathe is one such book. Calling it a medical memoir won't justify the emotions packed in Laesa's journey. It's a memoir of a girl(Evelyn) born before time, struggling for something as simple as breathing. How Laesa (the mother) and her entire family fought bravely with their baby girl against all odds. ❤️
I have seen their journey over instagram in laesa's posts. I waited eagerly to read her story but when I started reading. It got to me in prologue only. I wanted to finish it in a day or two and I could have but the emotions filled in each chapter are overwhelming. It's just so beautifully written, contains raw emotions right out of ICU. ❤️
A story of hope, faith in the darkest of times, kindness, love and strength. Now when I see laughing and thriving Evelyn I feel as if I knew her the entire journey, like I have a lovely bond with her. All goes to Laesa's words that stirred all these emotions in me. I will forever treasure this book and will seek strength from it. Also, the doctors are true gods. A lot of respect and love to BC Children's doctors. Keep up the amazing work.
@laesafaith , you are a true example of strength. Your outlook towards all the events is captivating and inspiring. Sending lots of love to you and your family.
❤️
Very rarely you come across books that stirs so many emotions in you that you never knew existed. Can't breathe is one such book. Calling it a medical memoir won't justify the emotions packed in Laesa's journey. It's a memoir of a girl(Evelyn) born before time, struggling for something as simple as breathing. How Laesa (the mother) and her entire family fought bravely with their baby girl against all odds. ❤️
I have seen their journey over instagram in laesa's posts. I waited eagerly to read her story but when I started reading. It got to me in prologue only. I wanted to finish it in a day or two and I could have but the emotions filled in each chapter are overwhelming. It's just so beautifully written, contains raw emotions right out of ICU. ❤️
A story of hope, faith in the darkest of times, kindness, love and strength. Now when I see laughing and thriving Evelyn I feel as if I knew her the entire journey, like I have a lovely bond with her. All goes to Laesa's words that stirred all these emotions in me. I will forever treasure this book and will seek strength from it. Also, the doctors are true gods. A lot of respect and love to BC Children's doctors. Keep up the amazing work.
@laesafaith , you are a true example of strength. Your outlook towards all the events is captivating and inspiring. Sending lots of love to you and your family.
March 22, 2020
TREMENDOUS. Raw, brittle, quietly screaming resilience in poetry and painful remembrance. An unimaginably difficult journey without guide posts or a clear destination. Laesa’s honesty about her personal experience caring for her medically complex child is as heartbreaking as it is enlightening. Most scars do not show. Most wounds do not bleed.
The best books open your eyes to a new realization. This book has shown me what could be behind the eyes of someone right in front of you; it has given voice to the answering of simple “how are you?” questions that would take too long to say.
How honest, to realize that healing sometimes includes brokenness. That joy can sometimes couple with hopelessness. That to feel all of this and to feel nothing is honest and true and warranted and still isolating and unsettling to our faith.
This book deserves to be recognized. Brava. Well done for achieving its authorship: no small feat with 2 small children and multiple hospital stays. Thank you for sharing it. I have no doubt it will shine a light on your community and your advocacy for BC Children’s Health.
The best books open your eyes to a new realization. This book has shown me what could be behind the eyes of someone right in front of you; it has given voice to the answering of simple “how are you?” questions that would take too long to say.
How honest, to realize that healing sometimes includes brokenness. That joy can sometimes couple with hopelessness. That to feel all of this and to feel nothing is honest and true and warranted and still isolating and unsettling to our faith.
This book deserves to be recognized. Brava. Well done for achieving its authorship: no small feat with 2 small children and multiple hospital stays. Thank you for sharing it. I have no doubt it will shine a light on your community and your advocacy for BC Children’s Health.
March 13, 2020
One of the most powerful, and insightful, books I've read. I can't recommend Laesa Kim's book enough. Difficult subject, but written with enormous sensitivity and courage.
March 19, 2020
What a beautiful read! Heart wrenching and encouraging at the same time!
Home run for a first time author!
Home run for a first time author!
May 2, 2020
It took me only two days to read Can't Breathe. Everyone who reads it will learn something and will take something from this beautifully written book.
November 18, 2022
I love how she's not sugar coating the situation and saying that all is roses and peaches. Yes, she loves her daughter. But, yes, all of this sucks. A lot. I'm kind of tired of parents of kids living with challenges saying : "I would not change a thing!". I have a child with challenges and life for her and for us would be easier without the challenges. Does not mean I love her any less. Loving your kid and wanting the best for him and for the rest of the family can go hand in hand, just saying. (I know, I got far from a simple book review here, but that's that)
November 29, 2020
AMAZING BOOK!!!!
Wow. What an incredibly well written book and depiction of what life is like as a parent to a medically complex child. I loved it simplicity yet authenticity and depth. I am 26 years old with complex medical needs and even I could very much relate and felt "seen". Its not only me dealing with such traumatic events and such a roller coaster of emotions. Definitely will recommend to all!
Wow. What an incredibly well written book and depiction of what life is like as a parent to a medically complex child. I loved it simplicity yet authenticity and depth. I am 26 years old with complex medical needs and even I could very much relate and felt "seen". Its not only me dealing with such traumatic events and such a roller coaster of emotions. Definitely will recommend to all!
November 10, 2020
CAN’T BREATHE: A Memoir by Laesa Faith Kim is such a touching memoir! I brought this book to work with me one day to read during my lunch break but I had to stop reading it and save it for when I was home because it was making me too emotional. Laesa shares her thoughts, fears, and hopes about her life as a mom with a medically complicated daughter, Evelyn, with such raw honesty and emotion. I really loved this book!
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Thank you to Book Fairies Vancouver for this signed copy!
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Thank you to Book Fairies Vancouver for this signed copy!
September 5, 2024
A stunning & captivating recollection, Laesa had me nodding my head and tears falling from my face the whole way through. As a mother of a complex kid myself this book made me feel seen and heard. I felt so honoured to be welcomed into this part of this beautiful families journey. Thank you for writing this book Laesa.
July 20, 2020
So, I for sure am biased here, but this book is something special. And has something within it for everyone to gather strength and perspective and hope from. Enjoy. xx
February 27, 2025
beautifully written.
February 21, 2021
This book is so beautiful!!! So much love courage hope and heartfelt reflection
September 11, 2020
Beautifully written book, heartbreaking, loving story that humanized a medically complex baby and her family. I prefer stories that have a specific arc, preferably forward moving in time with clear flashbacks and jumps in the story. That was my only complaint about this book; it jumped around a lot and I couldn’t make sense of why. But it could’ve just been me!
Starting with the author’s selfless dedication, ending with inspiration to move one foot in front of the other, always, this is a book for you to find yourself in. So well-written.
Starting with the author’s selfless dedication, ending with inspiration to move one foot in front of the other, always, this is a book for you to find yourself in. So well-written.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews