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Leave Out the Tragic Parts: A Grandfather's Search for a Boy Lost to Addiction
Dave Kindred's extraordinary investigation of the death of his grandson yields a powerful memoir of addiction, grief, and the stories we choose to tell our families and ourselves
Jared Kindred left his home and family at the age of eighteen, choosing to wander across America on freight train cars and live on the street. Addicted to alcohol most of his short life, and withholding the truth from many who loved him, he never found a way to survive.
Through this ordeal, Dave Kindred's love for his grandson has never wavered.
Leave Out the Tragic Parts is not merely a reflection on love and addiction and loss. It is a hard-won work of reportage, meticulously reconstructing the life Jared chose for himself--a life that rejected the comforts of civilization in favor of a chance to roam free.
Kindred asks painful but important questions about the lies we tell to get along, and what binds families together or allows them to fracture. Jared's story ended in tragedy, but the act of telling it is an act of healing and redemption. This is an important book on how to love your family, from a great writer who has lived its lessons.
Jared Kindred left his home and family at the age of eighteen, choosing to wander across America on freight train cars and live on the street. Addicted to alcohol most of his short life, and withholding the truth from many who loved him, he never found a way to survive.
Through this ordeal, Dave Kindred's love for his grandson has never wavered.
Leave Out the Tragic Parts is not merely a reflection on love and addiction and loss. It is a hard-won work of reportage, meticulously reconstructing the life Jared chose for himself--a life that rejected the comforts of civilization in favor of a chance to roam free.
Kindred asks painful but important questions about the lies we tell to get along, and what binds families together or allows them to fracture. Jared's story ended in tragedy, but the act of telling it is an act of healing and redemption. This is an important book on how to love your family, from a great writer who has lived its lessons.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published February 2, 2021
87 people are currently reading
2768 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 150 reviews
December 30, 2020
4.5 stars
Dave Kindred, who worked as a sports reporter, wrote this book about the death of his grandson. It is a memoir about addiction, the stories we tell ourselves, the stories others tell us, the stories we choose to believe and grief. In his Author's note he writes "I have never written anything more true than this book. I have also never written anything in which I was less certain of the facts." That is because of the unreliability of those who spent time with his grandson Jared. But he shares that he believes that they told the truth as they knew it. He provides their names and dates when applicable.
"Some people don't choose to be homeless, but all train riders chose trains."
Jared Kindred left home when he was eighteen years old. He wandered around and traveled all over America on freight train cars and lived on the streets when not riding the rails. He named himself Goblin and made close connections to those he met riding the rails. Jared was an alcoholic and did not tell the entire truth to those who loved him.
"The mistake we make with addicts is thinking they have any kind of logic."
Jared's family did not understand his life choices. Naturally, they were extremely difficult for them. Jared's mother was not happy with tattoo on his face. She was scared for her child and once asked him did he want to be buried or cremated to scare him into going to yet another rehab. Like me, she along with his other family members did not know that were still train hoppers a.k.a traveling kids, and that they were mainly made up of teenagers and young adults.
"Look at them. Look past the dirt and the tattoos, and look past the scars of their lives, those real and those no less real for being unseen. Look again. See them. Really see them. They are our brothers and sisters, our sons and daughters, our grandchildren. They are us..."
Dave Kindred tells of his love for his grandson. He also lays bare how he does not feel that he himself was the best father, he admits his regrets with his own son, he is honest when saying that his love for his twin grandsons, Jared and Jacob were stronger than his love for others in his life.
"Some memories break your heart into so many pieces that those pieces float in the bloodstream to your brain and force everything else out."
He also shows the way addiction affects not only those who are addicts, but on family members as well. He shares that even though Jared/Goblin was hospitalized multiple times, that he still drank. He shows the grip that addiction holds on someone.
"Sometimes we believe what we want to believe rather than what is believable, and I wanted to believe Jared could be an exception, that he could tell me the truth, and maybe he did tell me the truth. But I learned he didn't tell me the whole truth."
I found this to be an unputdownable memoir full of honest admission, pain. love and grief. I liked how he spoke to those who were train hoppers with him and to those who he sang with in New Orleans. Dave Kindred included the memories of Goblin/Jared’s friends and fellow traveling kids, their stories, and phone texts when he could. He showed the kinship between his grandson and the other traveling kids. He also shares how those he rode the rails with came from Maine, Illinois, Florida, North Carolina, New Orleans, California and Indiana to attend Jared's funeral. How one sang outside at his funeral. How they shared pictures of Jared with them riding trains, drinking and looking happy with his arms around them. They told the story of a happy young man who put his friends first, who was quick to smile and had his friends back. Throughout this book it is evident that Jared was deeply loved.
I found this to be a powerful and moving memoir. Dave Kindred laid bare his own flaws as well as the flaws of others in his family. He showed his love, his grief and choices. If you have ever been an addict or if you have ever loved someone who was/is an addict or lost a loved one due to addiction/overdose, you may find some things that you can relate to in this book.
Powerful, moving, heart breaking and informative. Highly recommend.
Thank you to Perseus Books and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.
Dave Kindred, who worked as a sports reporter, wrote this book about the death of his grandson. It is a memoir about addiction, the stories we tell ourselves, the stories others tell us, the stories we choose to believe and grief. In his Author's note he writes "I have never written anything more true than this book. I have also never written anything in which I was less certain of the facts." That is because of the unreliability of those who spent time with his grandson Jared. But he shares that he believes that they told the truth as they knew it. He provides their names and dates when applicable.
"Some people don't choose to be homeless, but all train riders chose trains."
Jared Kindred left home when he was eighteen years old. He wandered around and traveled all over America on freight train cars and lived on the streets when not riding the rails. He named himself Goblin and made close connections to those he met riding the rails. Jared was an alcoholic and did not tell the entire truth to those who loved him.
"The mistake we make with addicts is thinking they have any kind of logic."
Jared's family did not understand his life choices. Naturally, they were extremely difficult for them. Jared's mother was not happy with tattoo on his face. She was scared for her child and once asked him did he want to be buried or cremated to scare him into going to yet another rehab. Like me, she along with his other family members did not know that were still train hoppers a.k.a traveling kids, and that they were mainly made up of teenagers and young adults.
"Look at them. Look past the dirt and the tattoos, and look past the scars of their lives, those real and those no less real for being unseen. Look again. See them. Really see them. They are our brothers and sisters, our sons and daughters, our grandchildren. They are us..."
Dave Kindred tells of his love for his grandson. He also lays bare how he does not feel that he himself was the best father, he admits his regrets with his own son, he is honest when saying that his love for his twin grandsons, Jared and Jacob were stronger than his love for others in his life.
"Some memories break your heart into so many pieces that those pieces float in the bloodstream to your brain and force everything else out."
He also shows the way addiction affects not only those who are addicts, but on family members as well. He shares that even though Jared/Goblin was hospitalized multiple times, that he still drank. He shows the grip that addiction holds on someone.
"Sometimes we believe what we want to believe rather than what is believable, and I wanted to believe Jared could be an exception, that he could tell me the truth, and maybe he did tell me the truth. But I learned he didn't tell me the whole truth."
I found this to be an unputdownable memoir full of honest admission, pain. love and grief. I liked how he spoke to those who were train hoppers with him and to those who he sang with in New Orleans. Dave Kindred included the memories of Goblin/Jared’s friends and fellow traveling kids, their stories, and phone texts when he could. He showed the kinship between his grandson and the other traveling kids. He also shares how those he rode the rails with came from Maine, Illinois, Florida, North Carolina, New Orleans, California and Indiana to attend Jared's funeral. How one sang outside at his funeral. How they shared pictures of Jared with them riding trains, drinking and looking happy with his arms around them. They told the story of a happy young man who put his friends first, who was quick to smile and had his friends back. Throughout this book it is evident that Jared was deeply loved.
I found this to be a powerful and moving memoir. Dave Kindred laid bare his own flaws as well as the flaws of others in his family. He showed his love, his grief and choices. If you have ever been an addict or if you have ever loved someone who was/is an addict or lost a loved one due to addiction/overdose, you may find some things that you can relate to in this book.
Powerful, moving, heart breaking and informative. Highly recommend.
Thank you to Perseus Books and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.
June 8, 2020
4.5 stars
This challenged some of my stereotypes about young people on the road. I generally assume that people who abuse drugs and/or alcohol are self-medicating for something—often things like depression, bipolar disorder, or PTSD. I also assume kids on the road are running away from some type of physical abuse.
This memoir is written by a grandfather whose grandson hit the road at age 18 and drank himself to death a mere six years later. Jared who became Goblin was the fraternal twin of Jacob. Their parents had a very nasty divorce and the twins were moved around a fair amount until they were separated, one brother staying with his father and the new wife and stepsiblings, the other with his mother. Both brothers were loved, and obviously the vast majority of kids of divorce don’t feel the need to constantly drink bottom shelf vodka and travel the country by train. The other stereotype that Jared didn’t fit was that by all accounts he’s a happy human being who genuinely cares about others.
The grandfather, who spent his life working as a sports reporter, used his journalistic skills to track down the kids Jared traveled with to come to some understanding of what the heck happened. One of the young women he interviewed commented that most addicts put their addiction above everything and everyone else, but Jared always looked out for his friends.
I teared up several times during this story. You aren’t surprised when someone who abuses illegal drugs dies young from an overdose or something wrong with the drugs they were sold, but alcohol usually takes a long time to kill you. At a young age Jared was experiencing DTs (delirium tremens) and several health issues from the combination of alcohol abuse and life on the road, leading to numerous hospital visits. Another side effect of abusing alcohol and then not having access to it is having seizures. That’s part of the reason Jared always needed alcohol on hand, so he wouldn’t go through the dark, sometimes medically dangerous process of withdrawal.
This is not a fun book, but it is a touching story of love and family, including the family you find that aren’t genetically related to you.
Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this memoir, which RELEASES FEBRUARY 2, 2020.
This challenged some of my stereotypes about young people on the road. I generally assume that people who abuse drugs and/or alcohol are self-medicating for something—often things like depression, bipolar disorder, or PTSD. I also assume kids on the road are running away from some type of physical abuse.
This memoir is written by a grandfather whose grandson hit the road at age 18 and drank himself to death a mere six years later. Jared who became Goblin was the fraternal twin of Jacob. Their parents had a very nasty divorce and the twins were moved around a fair amount until they were separated, one brother staying with his father and the new wife and stepsiblings, the other with his mother. Both brothers were loved, and obviously the vast majority of kids of divorce don’t feel the need to constantly drink bottom shelf vodka and travel the country by train. The other stereotype that Jared didn’t fit was that by all accounts he’s a happy human being who genuinely cares about others.
The grandfather, who spent his life working as a sports reporter, used his journalistic skills to track down the kids Jared traveled with to come to some understanding of what the heck happened. One of the young women he interviewed commented that most addicts put their addiction above everything and everyone else, but Jared always looked out for his friends.
I teared up several times during this story. You aren’t surprised when someone who abuses illegal drugs dies young from an overdose or something wrong with the drugs they were sold, but alcohol usually takes a long time to kill you. At a young age Jared was experiencing DTs (delirium tremens) and several health issues from the combination of alcohol abuse and life on the road, leading to numerous hospital visits. Another side effect of abusing alcohol and then not having access to it is having seizures. That’s part of the reason Jared always needed alcohol on hand, so he wouldn’t go through the dark, sometimes medically dangerous process of withdrawal.
This is not a fun book, but it is a touching story of love and family, including the family you find that aren’t genetically related to you.
Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this memoir, which RELEASES FEBRUARY 2, 2020.
January 1, 2021
Ok, I want to say something that rarely gets told to others. This book hit home to me in many ways. Growing up alcohol was an extension of the men in my family’s hands. Always drinking and getting drunk. Some were nice drunks, some were mean but as I grew up, I swore I would never ever let that happen to me. Well, unfortunately my addiction came in the form of a pill. I became addicted to OxyContin and so did my sister. I was able to beat it after almost losing everything but my sister is still struggling with heroine and I am now raising her children. After reading this book, I am scared to death that my nieces and nephews will one day venture into that life of the unknown. So far they are doing well as teenagers and 20 somethings. While reading this book I cried, I understood, and then I was mad. Yet, it is not my place to question the parenting skills of someone else, I have to wonder if things were done differently would Jared be alive today. Maybe and maybe not. As an addict, I was willing to lie, cheat, and steal to get what I wanted. I do believe that some of the other reviewers are really being too harsh on Kindred. The story is what is supposed to be about. What happened in HIS life. How Jared had gone down the wrong path and if his family continued to let him back or send him money, that is called LOVE. No one knows what it is like until you experience it yourself. Overall, I truly love this book and wish that we could be hearing from Jared now instead of about his life after his death. Kindred has done an amazing job at bringing his grandsons story to life and showing the research that he has done as well. Kindred put together a story of love as told by Jared’s friends and did so in a way that helped the reader understand his life and his motives. I recommend this book to anyone who is experiencing this type of addiction or any addiction so that you can see what happens if you decide to go this route with your loved ones.
Thank you to goodreads as well a the author/publisher for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you to goodreads as well a the author/publisher for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest review.
October 12, 2023
I am not sure what I expected from this book but it was a heartfelt read about a grandfather trying to connect to a wayward grandson. Overall, it was an honest and emotional journey. The book as a whole felt like a pursuit of closure for the author in the hopes of further understanding his grandson and his life choices. As such, some moments felt deeply personal but at times could be tedious for an outside reader.
Thank you Netgalley and Perseus Books, PublicAffairs for giving me an opportunity to read this arc in exchange of an honest review.
Thank you Netgalley and Perseus Books, PublicAffairs for giving me an opportunity to read this arc in exchange of an honest review.
September 12, 2024
This book was an amazing story of a grandfather’s extraordinary investigation after the death of his grandson. Kindred dug deep to try and understand his grandson’s choice of lifestyle. How and why did this happen. Jared left home at 18 and lived on the streets and traveled the world via trains. Known to others in the “traveling kids” world as “Goblin” Jared became totally immersed in this culture. In this lifestyle Jared quickly became addicted to alcohol and went to great lengths to maintain an intoxicated state even when detrimental to his health.
The author’s quest to try and retrace his grandsons life lead to reflection on his own life and relationship with his son and his with his father. It is a heartfelt look at the the choices made and the course those choices yield.
While the ending was not a happy one I appreciated the lengths the author went to try and really understand and yet embrace his grandson’s unconventional lifestyle choice.
While the subject matter of this book was not something I would normally read the author did a fantastic job of explaining a sub culture that I was not aware of. It was also a hard look at the devastating affects of chronic alcoholism.
I highly recommend this book!!!
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.
The author’s quest to try and retrace his grandsons life lead to reflection on his own life and relationship with his son and his with his father. It is a heartfelt look at the the choices made and the course those choices yield.
While the ending was not a happy one I appreciated the lengths the author went to try and really understand and yet embrace his grandson’s unconventional lifestyle choice.
While the subject matter of this book was not something I would normally read the author did a fantastic job of explaining a sub culture that I was not aware of. It was also a hard look at the devastating affects of chronic alcoholism.
I highly recommend this book!!!
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.
May 13, 2020
This is a tough one to review. Dave Kindred's love for his grandson is palpable as he tries to capture Jared's fleeting, transient, ultimately fully-unknowable life through conversations, letters and texts with the various "travelin kids." His sadness at Jared's death and too-late awakening to the realities of alcoholism and addiction are heartbreaking.
That being said...This book was all telling and no showing. Everything is laid out in either long quotes of these conversations and letters, or Kindred's attempt at interpreting and weaving them together into bits and pieces of a life. Because of that, everything seems like a weird inside joke that we're on the outside of (we never get actual explanations for the seemingly significant aspects of the travelin kids life, like their nicknames or tattoos or how they choose their "families") and the people come off as goofy caricatures with "stinking" clothes, ridiculous nicknames and silly language. This story would've had so much more impact if Kindred had really put us there, in their shoes.
Additionally, this family (like many) seems to suffer from a genetic predisposition for selfishness and complete lack of self-awareness. Kindred TWICE forced his son and family to move to another state to live LITERALLY next door to them - not because of the son, but because he wanted to be around the grandsons! - and then felt offended when that didn't work out?! He says again and again throughout the book that he didn't really give a crap when his son was born or was growing up, but just loved the grandsons sooooo much. Uh, wow. Then the son, Jared's dad, splits up his twin sons and kicks Jared out of the house because the new stepmom didn't want to deal with him! Guess what dude, that's not how parenting works. These people do not seem to understand that once you have a child, your right to be selfish is DONE. OVER. Children depend on their parents for everything - you don't get to ignore that because you feel like it. No wonder Jared took off to find a "family" of his choosing.
And then there's the aspect of Jared's alcoholism and his family's complete enabling of it - never any consequences, always sending money, always opening their homes, always skirting around a real conversation, and always paying his hospital bills (I assume? Unless the dozen hospital visits were just walked away from scot free?). I'm glad that Kindred finally did some research into addiction and learned some realities, but it's unfortunate that it came too late for the family to really help Jared. I know I'm not in their shoes, and I feel conflicted about even saying this stuff as it's not my situation, but as an outsider reading the story, it's just SO OBVIOUS. It's just so unnecessary and stupid and sad.
That being said...This book was all telling and no showing. Everything is laid out in either long quotes of these conversations and letters, or Kindred's attempt at interpreting and weaving them together into bits and pieces of a life. Because of that, everything seems like a weird inside joke that we're on the outside of (we never get actual explanations for the seemingly significant aspects of the travelin kids life, like their nicknames or tattoos or how they choose their "families") and the people come off as goofy caricatures with "stinking" clothes, ridiculous nicknames and silly language. This story would've had so much more impact if Kindred had really put us there, in their shoes.
Additionally, this family (like many) seems to suffer from a genetic predisposition for selfishness and complete lack of self-awareness. Kindred TWICE forced his son and family to move to another state to live LITERALLY next door to them - not because of the son, but because he wanted to be around the grandsons! - and then felt offended when that didn't work out?! He says again and again throughout the book that he didn't really give a crap when his son was born or was growing up, but just loved the grandsons sooooo much. Uh, wow. Then the son, Jared's dad, splits up his twin sons and kicks Jared out of the house because the new stepmom didn't want to deal with him! Guess what dude, that's not how parenting works. These people do not seem to understand that once you have a child, your right to be selfish is DONE. OVER. Children depend on their parents for everything - you don't get to ignore that because you feel like it. No wonder Jared took off to find a "family" of his choosing.
And then there's the aspect of Jared's alcoholism and his family's complete enabling of it - never any consequences, always sending money, always opening their homes, always skirting around a real conversation, and always paying his hospital bills (I assume? Unless the dozen hospital visits were just walked away from scot free?). I'm glad that Kindred finally did some research into addiction and learned some realities, but it's unfortunate that it came too late for the family to really help Jared. I know I'm not in their shoes, and I feel conflicted about even saying this stuff as it's not my situation, but as an outsider reading the story, it's just SO OBVIOUS. It's just so unnecessary and stupid and sad.
December 3, 2023
Leave Out the Tragic Parts is a raw, honest, intimate, heartfelt journey with Dave Kindred, a grandfather sharing his story of love, addiction, and loss. He shares with us his grandson Jared's struggle with alcoholism, feeling the desperation and grief that come hand in hand with addiction. The narrative unfolds Jared's life as the modern-day hobo, Goblin, weaving personal reflections with stories from Jared's friends, giving you a vibrant yet troubled picture of his carefree but booze-soaked world.
I received a copy from the publisher through NetGalley.
I received a copy from the publisher through NetGalley.
December 29, 2020
A quick read, but a powerful story to be told. Bravo to the grandfather that never failed at loving his grandson and for looking beyond his addiction. The search for answers and understanding why some kids leave home and take up train hopping was an interesting adventure that takes you into the lives of those still out searching for the thrill. Why they give up the comfort of their home and family to wrestle with demons on the road whether it be drugs or alcohol is beyond some of us who are comfortable in our homes and naive to the world beyond us. The kids describe it as freedom from responsibility, broken families, failed educational system and search for happiness and acceptance. My heart was torn for this grandfather’s retracing of his grandson’s trials and trails through his many friends whom are still out there.
Thanks NetGalley for the chance to read this book for a review. It did not disappoint but left me in tears and prayer for all the lost young souls searching for family and acceptance outside the home.
Thanks NetGalley for the chance to read this book for a review. It did not disappoint but left me in tears and prayer for all the lost young souls searching for family and acceptance outside the home.
January 8, 2022
Leave Out the Tragic Parts // by Dave Kindred
I always feel a little harsh when I review a memoir that I did not enjoy as much as usual. This is someone's life story after all. A glimpse into the very personal. But I really struggled with staying engaged with this one. I see the importance of having written this book and doing the research, soul-searching, and story-gathering for it. You can really tell that this grandfather cared for his grandson very much and that he wanted to both understand and honor the memory of one of the most important people in his life. I admire that a lot and I really hope that this gave him the closure that he needed. But as a reader, much of this book felt very repetitive and I did not find the style of it fitting for a written accounting of someone's life. I think these stories would have been much more effective as little tidbits told around a campfire or told throughout different situations in life, much like he got to hear them out on the road while talking to his son's companions when he gathered them for this memoir. What first drew me to this memoir was the title. Many addiction memoirs are all about the tragedy so I was immediately drawn to the phrase "Leave out all the tragic parts." While we definitely got to hear about some of the difficult times in his grandson's life, this book was very much focused on the happy times and experiences he had and we also got to find out where the phrase originally came from, which was a great way to round this out.
Thank you for the free copy in exchange for an honest review.
I always feel a little harsh when I review a memoir that I did not enjoy as much as usual. This is someone's life story after all. A glimpse into the very personal. But I really struggled with staying engaged with this one. I see the importance of having written this book and doing the research, soul-searching, and story-gathering for it. You can really tell that this grandfather cared for his grandson very much and that he wanted to both understand and honor the memory of one of the most important people in his life. I admire that a lot and I really hope that this gave him the closure that he needed. But as a reader, much of this book felt very repetitive and I did not find the style of it fitting for a written accounting of someone's life. I think these stories would have been much more effective as little tidbits told around a campfire or told throughout different situations in life, much like he got to hear them out on the road while talking to his son's companions when he gathered them for this memoir. What first drew me to this memoir was the title. Many addiction memoirs are all about the tragedy so I was immediately drawn to the phrase "Leave out all the tragic parts." While we definitely got to hear about some of the difficult times in his grandson's life, this book was very much focused on the happy times and experiences he had and we also got to find out where the phrase originally came from, which was a great way to round this out.
Thank you for the free copy in exchange for an honest review.
April 24, 2020
On January 14, 2014, Jared Glenn Kindred, known among 'travelin' kids' as Goblin, died -- a casualty of addiction. For five years, Goblin rode the rails, slept on sidewalks and under bridges, seeing everywhere and nowhere as his home. This is his story, as painstakingly reconstructed by his grandfather and Goblin's 'road dogs.' As such, it is a love story – an effort to make visible the life of a homeless young man who lived outside the confines of a world that most of us know. But it is also a story of addiction, of missed opportunities to intervene, and of lost chances to change.
Haunting and beautifully written, it is reminder of the importance of early intervention because love alone is not enough to save someone in the throes of addiction and denial can kill.
Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Haunting and beautifully written, it is reminder of the importance of early intervention because love alone is not enough to save someone in the throes of addiction and denial can kill.
Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.
March 23, 2020
I knew going into this book it there wouldn't be a happy ending but I read it anyway. I cried for a little boy then cried for the young man he had become. This story was so complete and the writing so good you just couldn't put it down, you wanted to read about everyone and the stories would make you feel so much and before you knew it, tears were falling. In the end, it shows you that addiction affects everyone, not just the person addicted. This will stick with me for a long, long time.
January 30, 2021
3.5, but I’m rounding down because there’s not a lot here to separate it out from other memoirs about addiction. Thank you to the publisher for an ARC to review.
First, I would like to say any criticism about how the Kindred family handled Jared’s illness is ill-places. Addiction is a terrible disease, and many families do not know the signs or how to get their loved ones help until after a tragedy occurs. Any decisions made about Jared’s upbringing are the family’s decision alone - I can’t critique when I wasn’t there. And memoirs are funny like that - it’s one person’s reactions to events at a point in time. And memory can often re-write itself as particularly difficult portions are poured over again and again.
My main criticism is the telling - the author Intersperses the text with real letters and reflections from Jared’s friends, loved-ones, and road dogs. While it gives an authentic touch, it makes the narrative feel too jumpy. The cohesion was further lost as we are taken to the author’s life and to his interactions with his mother and the end of her life. The timeline jumps made it difficult to see how points fit together for a larger story-telling. And my final criticism is the choice of the author to use quotes from conversations that happened years and decades ago. No one’s memory is that good (or it’s very rare) and while I believe people remember off-hand comments, there were too many here for me to believe.
What does work remarkably well here is the author’s own reflections and the emotion that is raw throughout the telling. This work was not cathartic - as even the author admits at the end. It is full of pain and questions that don’t have answers. But the emotional resolution is there, and I found myself tearing up. I am just 11 months younger than Jacob and Jared, growing up in Maryland. It hits close to home when others who are your age-peers go through so much, so young. I am glad to have read Jared’s story - but ultimately I think the book will lose its voice in a sea of memoir releases.
First, I would like to say any criticism about how the Kindred family handled Jared’s illness is ill-places. Addiction is a terrible disease, and many families do not know the signs or how to get their loved ones help until after a tragedy occurs. Any decisions made about Jared’s upbringing are the family’s decision alone - I can’t critique when I wasn’t there. And memoirs are funny like that - it’s one person’s reactions to events at a point in time. And memory can often re-write itself as particularly difficult portions are poured over again and again.
My main criticism is the telling - the author Intersperses the text with real letters and reflections from Jared’s friends, loved-ones, and road dogs. While it gives an authentic touch, it makes the narrative feel too jumpy. The cohesion was further lost as we are taken to the author’s life and to his interactions with his mother and the end of her life. The timeline jumps made it difficult to see how points fit together for a larger story-telling. And my final criticism is the choice of the author to use quotes from conversations that happened years and decades ago. No one’s memory is that good (or it’s very rare) and while I believe people remember off-hand comments, there were too many here for me to believe.
What does work remarkably well here is the author’s own reflections and the emotion that is raw throughout the telling. This work was not cathartic - as even the author admits at the end. It is full of pain and questions that don’t have answers. But the emotional resolution is there, and I found myself tearing up. I am just 11 months younger than Jacob and Jared, growing up in Maryland. It hits close to home when others who are your age-peers go through so much, so young. I am glad to have read Jared’s story - but ultimately I think the book will lose its voice in a sea of memoir releases.
December 18, 2020
With the journalistic chops that garnered him many awards throughout his professional writing career in the "big leagues," a heartbroken Dave Kindred here unflinchingly interviews his way to the answers behind why one of his adult twin grandsons, Jared--joyful, driven, and beloved by many--drank himself to an early death. Fiercely loved by Kindred and his wife since babyhood, yet feeling alternately abandoned by his mom, dad, and stepmom, Jared was a free spirit from an early age. We see him realizing his closest fulfillment of the ideal lifestyle by becoming a modern-day hobo, traversing the country by rail with a rotating crew of rootless--and, sadly, usually profoundly alcoholic--fellow travelers, guys and gals alike, living riskily hand-to-mouth while simultaneously "seizing the day," fueled almost exclusively by astounding amounts of alcohol (vodka, preferably). With a bloodhound's instincts and with years of dedication, Mr. Kindred stopped at nothing to gain the understanding he was seeking about Jared, and he was rewarded for his dogged effort by gaining an enviable degree of access to some of the hardest young people in the country to pin down: the young runaways themselves, often laid bare here in their own words. This resulting portrait of a young man who was by all accounts a charismatic, loyal friend to many, brought down by a horrible addiction to alcohol and its inevitable physical effects to the point of no return, is powerfully, heartbreakingly told here.
March 26, 2020
In the acknowledgements section in the back of this book, the author writes that he "wanted this book to be the best I could make it." I wish I could convey to the author (David Kindred) what a fabulous job he did in telling about the life of his deceased grandson, Jared. Jared left home and led a life of riding the rails, drinking excessively, living on the streets, and leading a lifestyle so foreign to anything Kindred was familiar with. Yet what a gift, that he was able to learn what a giving a loving heart Jared had! He did the work, (so painful at times) of talking to friends of Jared, trying to see him through their eyes, and trying to find out what made him 'tick' and what made him choose this lifestyle. (Kindred also did a great job of explaining addiction - my eyes were truly opened to things about addiction I never realized before,) . This book had so much heart and love in it.! Unforgettable.
June 29, 2022
A very poignant read, albeit a difficult one as the author recounts the life of his addicted grandson.
June 9, 2021
The strengths of this loving memoir for
me lie with the storytelling of Dave Kindred and the character of Jared Kindred, the grandson and addict,and his special road dog friends.
Jared loved so much in his life...
He loved his mother, his estranged father and his twin brother.
He loved his grandparents.
He loved his road dog friends.
He loved to live... his way.
He loved to laugh.
He loved to dance.
He loved to travel by riding the rails.
He loved New Orleans.
And he loved booze (especially Vodka).
Jared was many things...
He was a son,
He was a brother
And he was a grandson
He was a wanderer.
He was Goblin to his road dogs.
He was dirty, small, baby-faced and tattooed
He wàs happiness.
He was a modern-day hobo.
He was a young man.
And he was an alcoholic.
Dave Kindred had questions. He wanted answers. Using his talents and the skills he had developed as a journalist, he asked the right questions of the right people- those in Jared’s road dog family and others in his birth family.He got enough answers to write their stories as truthfully as possible. It was important to Dave to write their truth.
Leave Out the Tragic Parts:
A Grandfather’s Search for a Boy Lost to Addiction by Dave Kindred is a cautionary tale for all of us. It’s also an uplifting memoir - a tribute of sorts to family, blood or not, and a beloved grandson - Cheryl and his grandson.
I listened to the Audible Edition narrated by the author, who is also an accomplished storyteller. It was quite an experience to listen to him tell Jared’s story. Readers will find this to be a good, well written story - the talented and seasoned journalist/author writes this memoir
In both first and third persons.l plan to read the Kindle Edition the second time I experience
the book flater this month. Whatever edition one chooses, the memoir is a
very worthwhile and important book for everyone. As such, I highly recommend it.
me lie with the storytelling of Dave Kindred and the character of Jared Kindred, the grandson and addict,and his special road dog friends.
Jared loved so much in his life...
He loved his mother, his estranged father and his twin brother.
He loved his grandparents.
He loved his road dog friends.
He loved to live... his way.
He loved to laugh.
He loved to dance.
He loved to travel by riding the rails.
He loved New Orleans.
And he loved booze (especially Vodka).
Jared was many things...
He was a son,
He was a brother
And he was a grandson
He was a wanderer.
He was Goblin to his road dogs.
He was dirty, small, baby-faced and tattooed
He wàs happiness.
He was a modern-day hobo.
He was a young man.
And he was an alcoholic.
Dave Kindred had questions. He wanted answers. Using his talents and the skills he had developed as a journalist, he asked the right questions of the right people- those in Jared’s road dog family and others in his birth family.He got enough answers to write their stories as truthfully as possible. It was important to Dave to write their truth.
Leave Out the Tragic Parts:
A Grandfather’s Search for a Boy Lost to Addiction by Dave Kindred is a cautionary tale for all of us. It’s also an uplifting memoir - a tribute of sorts to family, blood or not, and a beloved grandson - Cheryl and his grandson.
I listened to the Audible Edition narrated by the author, who is also an accomplished storyteller. It was quite an experience to listen to him tell Jared’s story. Readers will find this to be a good, well written story - the talented and seasoned journalist/author writes this memoir
In both first and third persons.l plan to read the Kindle Edition the second time I experience
the book flater this month. Whatever edition one chooses, the memoir is a
very worthwhile and important book for everyone. As such, I highly recommend it.
July 19, 2020
Dave Kindred is a sportswriter who introduces himself in the beginning of the book as someone who was a father, but who thought of himself as never having paid enough attention to his son as the son grew up. Therefore, when Kindred became a grandfather to twin grandsons, he vowed to be a good grandfather, involved, loving, compassionate. He was that to the best of his ability.
There are reminiscences of the twins’ growing up, sometimes living nearby their grandparents, and of good times spent together. The love between the twins Jared and Jacob and their grandfather was never in doubt.
Jared left home at 18 to explore the world, and became a traveling kid, hopping freight trains, drinking, panhandling but happily making friends and seeing the world, just not the world most people usually see or live in. Jared’s world contained people named Stray, Feral, Booze Cop, other young people who swam in dirty rivers, traveled dangerously on freight cars, and spent nights drinking vodka, eating whatever they could find, and sleeping in parks. To the average person, it’s very sad, but to those who live and love what they consider freedom, it’s not sad at all.
Jared, who becomes Goblin, was loved by family, but he couldn’t accept the restrictions of that love. He was happy on his self destructive path, spiraling farther into addiction, until Goblin was gone.
The author was intent on finding people who knew and had traveled and lived with his grandson, and interviewed them to get a handle on the traveling kids’ life and mindset. In one sense it’s shocking to know there are literally children on their own who learn to live in the dirtiest dregs of society when they have such promise. And in another sense, it amazing to know they the traveling kids form a bond, and how they look out for each other, share, care, and have values that Would be so positive in another setting.
The stories are heartbreaking, sometimes humorous, colorful, and tragic all at once.
Any family who has dealt with someone with addiction will relate to the author, who tries to help, believes in recovery, and whose heart is broken when the help is not enough. This true story is about love and loss, and is beautifully written despite the pain and heartbreak the author shares.
This is my unbiased review after receiving a gratis copy of the book through Netgalley.
There are reminiscences of the twins’ growing up, sometimes living nearby their grandparents, and of good times spent together. The love between the twins Jared and Jacob and their grandfather was never in doubt.
Jared left home at 18 to explore the world, and became a traveling kid, hopping freight trains, drinking, panhandling but happily making friends and seeing the world, just not the world most people usually see or live in. Jared’s world contained people named Stray, Feral, Booze Cop, other young people who swam in dirty rivers, traveled dangerously on freight cars, and spent nights drinking vodka, eating whatever they could find, and sleeping in parks. To the average person, it’s very sad, but to those who live and love what they consider freedom, it’s not sad at all.
Jared, who becomes Goblin, was loved by family, but he couldn’t accept the restrictions of that love. He was happy on his self destructive path, spiraling farther into addiction, until Goblin was gone.
The author was intent on finding people who knew and had traveled and lived with his grandson, and interviewed them to get a handle on the traveling kids’ life and mindset. In one sense it’s shocking to know there are literally children on their own who learn to live in the dirtiest dregs of society when they have such promise. And in another sense, it amazing to know they the traveling kids form a bond, and how they look out for each other, share, care, and have values that Would be so positive in another setting.
The stories are heartbreaking, sometimes humorous, colorful, and tragic all at once.
Any family who has dealt with someone with addiction will relate to the author, who tries to help, believes in recovery, and whose heart is broken when the help is not enough. This true story is about love and loss, and is beautifully written despite the pain and heartbreak the author shares.
This is my unbiased review after receiving a gratis copy of the book through Netgalley.
March 25, 2020
At just 18 years old, Jared Kindred left home and began a journey to see all parts of America, by freight train cars.
Leaving his family to ride the rails, Jared became addicted to alcohol and lived like a homeless person. Disappearing for months on end and checking in by phone sporadically, Jared – in those short communications, would say he was fine, that he loved living free, and oftentimes, needed money. His worried family never stopped loving him, but that was not enough to persuade him to return home.
David Kindred, for the love of his grandson, seeks out the truth of how Jared lived his life. Through the eyes of these freight train car riders who knew Jared, Kindred reveals a world of random drifters that become transient, temporary family to each other. Traveling together, the connection lasts until the next stop of the freight train car. Most have been on their own for years, having cut themselves off from their family and the norm of traditional living, while others are just experiencing a troubling time and eventually, go home. Those are the lucky ones.
This poignantly written homage to his grandson is full of fond memories, unconditional love, and healing after a sorrowful time of loss.
Thank you to NetGalley and Perseus Books, PublicAffairs, for the read of David Kindred’s, Leave Out the Tragic Parts, A Grandfather’s Search for a Boy Lost to Addiction.
Opinions expressed in my reviews are my own.
Leaving his family to ride the rails, Jared became addicted to alcohol and lived like a homeless person. Disappearing for months on end and checking in by phone sporadically, Jared – in those short communications, would say he was fine, that he loved living free, and oftentimes, needed money. His worried family never stopped loving him, but that was not enough to persuade him to return home.
David Kindred, for the love of his grandson, seeks out the truth of how Jared lived his life. Through the eyes of these freight train car riders who knew Jared, Kindred reveals a world of random drifters that become transient, temporary family to each other. Traveling together, the connection lasts until the next stop of the freight train car. Most have been on their own for years, having cut themselves off from their family and the norm of traditional living, while others are just experiencing a troubling time and eventually, go home. Those are the lucky ones.
This poignantly written homage to his grandson is full of fond memories, unconditional love, and healing after a sorrowful time of loss.
Thank you to NetGalley and Perseus Books, PublicAffairs, for the read of David Kindred’s, Leave Out the Tragic Parts, A Grandfather’s Search for a Boy Lost to Addiction.
Opinions expressed in my reviews are my own.
March 16, 2025
Prompt: A wise character
Leave Out the Tragic Parts. A Grandfather's Search for a Boy Lost to Addiction by Dave Kindred.
This book speaks of an addiction which I hadn't heard of before- of riding freight trains for the sheer joy of freedom. Known as Road dogs, these young boys and girls, spend their time jumping trains to different parts of the country which gives them a high along with their addiction to either booze or drugs. It is the story of the transformation of Jared into Goblin, the road dog. It is the grandfather's attempt, after the death of his young grandson, at trying to understand the addiction of a Road dog, from the family he formed with other road dogs.
It speaks of the challenges of parenting and the importance of family in raising a family. He also delves into the history of his family, he pays a tribute to his parents, it is at once, all a story of indomitable courage and resilience. The author explains how, along with learning to read and write, it is important to learn to talk, especially in times of distress. He is of the opinion that "Addiction is not a character flaw, not a moral failing. It’s an illness and it can be treated. Ask for help.”
Leave Out the Tragic Parts. A Grandfather's Search for a Boy Lost to Addiction by Dave Kindred.
This book speaks of an addiction which I hadn't heard of before- of riding freight trains for the sheer joy of freedom. Known as Road dogs, these young boys and girls, spend their time jumping trains to different parts of the country which gives them a high along with their addiction to either booze or drugs. It is the story of the transformation of Jared into Goblin, the road dog. It is the grandfather's attempt, after the death of his young grandson, at trying to understand the addiction of a Road dog, from the family he formed with other road dogs.
It speaks of the challenges of parenting and the importance of family in raising a family. He also delves into the history of his family, he pays a tribute to his parents, it is at once, all a story of indomitable courage and resilience. The author explains how, along with learning to read and write, it is important to learn to talk, especially in times of distress. He is of the opinion that "Addiction is not a character flaw, not a moral failing. It’s an illness and it can be treated. Ask for help.”
February 13, 2023
Update: I read again for a non-fiction book club. I was the discussion leader since I recommended the book last year. The author, Dave Kindred, a hall of fame sports writer, also lives within an hour of the library. I was able to find his address and sent him a letter asking if he would like to attend. He did! What a great book club discussion having the author present to add details that were not in the book. He also autographed my copy of his book. It is a very tragic story about his beloved grandson. In addition, he talks about his childhood growing up with Depression era parents. Those stories resonated with me because my parents were of the same era and had the same characteristics.
Very highly recommended!
A very heartbreaking story that is not only about his grandson but his relation with other members of his family too. Extremely emotional book. Be ready to cry many times. I heard this author is a Zoom presentation recently before I read the book. He clearly wore his heart on his sleeve. A very touching and genuine read.
Very highly recommended!
A very heartbreaking story that is not only about his grandson but his relation with other members of his family too. Extremely emotional book. Be ready to cry many times. I heard this author is a Zoom presentation recently before I read the book. He clearly wore his heart on his sleeve. A very touching and genuine read.
Read
January 19, 2021This book hooked me from the very beginning and, three days after finishing it, still hasn’t let me go. Its narratival flow is easy to read and ensures that you come back to finish the book. Although it is a different story, it reminded me of Beautiful Boy by David Sheff both in style of writing and the grace in which it speaks about addiction.
It is a story told by a loving grandfather about his grandson’s alcoholism and life hopping trains all over the country. Kindred weaves together information he gathered after seeking out those who knew and traveled with Jared during the height of his addiction as well as recalling their family dynamic.
I loved this book and not only because it was written well. As much as it broke my heart, it did what all good books about addiction do: it presents the addict as a human being rather than just seeing them as their disease.
Content Warning: Alcohol (and some drug) abuse.
It is a story told by a loving grandfather about his grandson’s alcoholism and life hopping trains all over the country. Kindred weaves together information he gathered after seeking out those who knew and traveled with Jared during the height of his addiction as well as recalling their family dynamic.
I loved this book and not only because it was written well. As much as it broke my heart, it did what all good books about addiction do: it presents the addict as a human being rather than just seeing them as their disease.
Content Warning: Alcohol (and some drug) abuse.
December 30, 2020
Very glad to have won this from goodreads. It took me a few days to read this book. I knew what was going to happen and just didn’t want to get to that part and when I did, was still surprised. A very touching story.
January 9, 2022
Dave Kindred has written an eloquent book about his love for his grandson, Jared. My attention was riveted to every paragraph. I learned so much new information about alcoholism, An eye opener for sure.
April 1, 2022
This book appealed to me because it tells the story of the life of one who chose the "hobo" life even though he had a family that loved him and a bright future if he pursued it. Often homeless people truly are such because of financial hardships due to medical issues, lost jobs, and mental illness. But this grandfather found out through interviewing many of his grandson's fellow "train hoppers" that they love the adventure and cannot imagine settling down. Sadly, alcohol abuse goes hand-in-hand with this lifestyle and many die because of it. I admire those who work with the homeless and have supported ministries that seek to help people get back on their feet; but this book reminds me that, sadly, many don't want to be part of a program because they don't want the restrictions that go along with it. My husband recently spent a great deal of time (two years) trying to get a homeless man a job, housing, etc. Many programs would not take him because he was a felon (though a very gentle, non-threatening man). My husband found a ministry that would accept him in another state, about a three hour drive away, and it was going to help him get his GED and find a job. He left after less than a week beause he didn't like living under authority. It's just hard to navigate this issue. My Christian faith tells me to err on the side of mercy because I never know the homeless person's story--and God will sort it out.
February 8, 2021
Such a heartbreaking story . It’s a well written account of one family’s sorrow. Their precious child, their beloved grandson dead at the age of 26. Jared was an alcoholic. When you think of an alcoholic, you don’t picture someone as young as Jared. At least I didn’t. As the author makes a point of relating - most people don’t realize alcoholism is an addiction and a chronic disease that changes the chemistry of the brain. He reconstructs Jared’s, aka Goblin, journey around the country by way of stories gathered from his fellow travelin’ kids. Medical records are shared. The family history revealed. Dave Kindred is an award winning journalist. He has a way of engaging the reader and he really knows how to tell a story. This is very, very good book about the downward spiral of alcoholism and the price it exacted on Jared and the rest of the Kindred family.
November 29, 2022
If you have ever been close to someone with addiction, this book will break your heart and put it back together again multiple times.
Thank you, Mr. Kindred, for sharing your experiences and as much as your grandson's life as you were able to piece together. You did not cheat and leave out the tragic parts. You just used your grandson's caring heart and your sense of humor to soften them and make them palatable.
Thank you, Mr. Kindred, for sharing your experiences and as much as your grandson's life as you were able to piece together. You did not cheat and leave out the tragic parts. You just used your grandson's caring heart and your sense of humor to soften them and make them palatable.
May 10, 2021
As a former addictions therapist, this book was hard to read. As a mother and grandmother, this book was painful, too. I admire the author to care enough to understand his grandson's life, a life so different from his own.
December 18, 2021
A little repetitive but beautifully written! Highly highly recommend!
January 8, 2023
A 2022 staff favorite recommended by Nancy. Check our catalog: https://encore.cooklib.org/iii/encore...
April 29, 2024
Kindred shares such a heart wrenching story. Every parent should read this book to gain awareness on addiction.
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