I've been aware of ASMR as a self-therapy technique for several years now, and have used it myself. Emma is one of my favorite ASMRtists on YouTube and when I realized she had written a book, I was very interested in reading it to learn more about her as a person and about this fascinating and complicated topic from her perspective. Having already been familiar with ASMR, I wasn't sure how much I would get out of this book, but I came away with way more than I thought I would!
If you have never heard of ASMR or are just starting to explore it, this book would be a good introduction to the concept (and, ASMR aside, could be helpful in other ways, which I'll talk about later). Emma is a well-known and trusted content creator in the ASMR YouTube community and the wider ASMR community. The book is easy to follow and understand, and I found the way Emma describes ASMR and the nuances around it to be spot on (at least in my own personal experience).
If you haven't experienced ASMR or aren't sure you have, the closest thing to describe the sensation would be what Emma talks about called "frisson," which is basically the chills you get when something uncanny happens or if you listen to a piece of music and it sends what feels like anticipatory tingles all over you. That isn't ASMR (mainly because it is doing the opposite in giving you a rush instead of calming you), but the physical feeling is similar to some ASMR experiences.
This book discusses:
• Scientific study surrounding ASMR
• What is ASMR and and what is mistaken for ASMR, as well as the complete opposites of ASMR (such as "misophonia" or "misokinesia")
• Common misconceptions and awkwardness surrounding ASMR
• How Emma herself found ASMR and uses it in her own life
• Types and nature of triggers people gravitate to and the differences between those
• Finding the triggers that work for you and how to explore this new world
• Using ASMR in your daily life by adapting familiar meditation or affirmation techniques to have a more ASMR-related focus
• Testimonials and experiences from ASMR
Overall, I felt this quote about halfway in summarizes why reading a book like this can be beneficial and worthwhile for anyone:
"I believe we all have an innate understanding of the concept of ASMR and that it isn't very different from so many things that are naturally incorporated into our lives already because they help us to feel good. We just need an explanation that makes sense for us as individuals."
The exploration of ASMR is another way to gain self-awareness, and this had never occurred to me before. But, strangely, it is also about regaining a kind of self-awareness that we may have long forgotten. ASMR is heavily centered around bringing us back to a time(s) in our life before the complications of growing up interfered. It's about the small pleasures of life, and looking at the world through curiosity and innocence, and I think because it has these connections to memory and our senses that that is why no one person has the same set of triggers or is comforted by the same kinds of sounds—what we hear has to blend with what we've grown to associate with comfort (like "coming home" in a way) through our life experiences, particularly when we were children. Essentially, it's rooted in nostalgia. For some people, this may not be a happy journey for them if they were neglected; however, ASMR can work for them, too, in that, instead of rekindling long-forgotten comforts, safety, and feeling valued, it lets them experience now the comfort, safety, and feeling of being valued that they did not receive then.
This is coupled with the fact that platforms like YouTube allow people to receive these comforts from a non-judgmental, uninvolved party through videos. As Emma says:
"Sometimes you just need kindness without any conditions attached."
To me, this is one of the contradictions of human nature, where we crave feeling comforted, safe, valued, and enough as we are, but we often find it easier to accept this from strangers or acquaintances because there are fewer or no dynamics, motivations, or feelings coming from the other person (similar to how talking to a therapist can be more helpful and enlightening than talking to a friend or family member).
My favorite chapter was "Chapter 4: Healing Principles and ASMR" because it was largely devoted to self-awareness, being in the moment, personal responsibility, and empowerment, which are topics I feel very passionately about, having written my own book devoted to them. I was so surprised and delighted at how much Emma's thoughts and conclusions echoed mine in these areas, and felt a kinship with her. Yet, because she is obviously not me, she expressed these concepts differently, which allowed me to re-explore these thoughts and conclusions from a familiar but slightly altered perspective.
There was also some intriguing discussion on what being a healer is in this chapter. I am familiar with being a healer of sorts, having done some mentoring (this work is what resulted in my book), being a certified Jikiden Reiki practitioner, and a few other classes I've taken and research I've done. Yet, I have never really stopped to consider the word "healer" very deeply, so this was eye-opening and likely something on which I'll do more pondering.
Additionally, I felt that this chapter and some areas of "Chapter 5: Your New ASMR World" could be most helpful to someone who reads this book out of curiosity, but who may not necessarily be interested in ASMR as a self-care option, which means there is something for everyone in this tome, regardless of the overarching topic of ASMR. Although Emma always brings it back around to how these things are related to ASMR for the purposes of the book, the basic concepts and insight she gives in these areas would be useful to anyone who is looking to understand more about themselves, how they interact with and view the world around them, and even how they understand, view, or interact with other people.
I also got a lot out of "Chapter 6: Make ASMR Sensitivity Your Superpower" because this gave me some good insight on how I could use ASMR principles to further my work on personal responsibility when it comes to my self-care and emotional state—or, as Emma puts it:
"You can be your own comforter just as effectively as you would comfort another person."
I feel this is so important nowadays because, while it's okay to go to others for comfort, it is also vital to have those coping skills within yourself, and made a note of a few new things I learned from Emma that can go into my "toolbox" for that purpose. In particular, reminding myself that if I feel my brain treading into unhealthy spiraling, next time I can give ASMR methods a try to bring my awareness back to the present, back to myself (as Emma says, not as "a distraction from myself" which is a really important distinction).
I found the trigger descriptions interesting, mainly because although I know a lot of the common triggers, particularly the ones that work for me, I didn't really understand the other triggers and couldn't fathom why someone else would find them comforting. So, even if I still can't relate to people for whom those triggers work, I at least understand a little better why they might find comfort in them.
Another favorite area for me was idea that I could intentionally create an ASMR experience for myself any time I want without the use of videos if I am feeling anxious, overwhelmed, too much in my own head, or just am curious about what sound an every-day object might make, all of which had never occurred to me before.
I also enjoyed the section (and other bits sprinkled throughout) about sound healing (such as Tibetan bowls) because that is an area I don't really know much about and a method that in the past I haven't really gotten much out of personally. I now understand a little more about what is behind it and might be willing to try it again as a healing option; however, my tendency not to gravitate toward them may be a simple fact of that their sounds just don't resonate (haha, pun intended) with me as a healing tool whereas ASMR sounds do:
"ASMR sounds, similarly to sound healing instruments, are a transition or alternative to being alone in meditation."
But, aside from that, this quote also hit me hard because I had never considered before that ASMR is basically on par with meditation but with the added comfort of sound to create a more comfortable "silence," similar to what a Tibetan bowl might do (aside from the tone frequencies associated with that which are meant to have healing properties), so that gave me more things to ponder.
I also really enjoyed this quote because it made me think about my mind differently:
"Remember, your mind is a tool for thinking when it is needed. When it is not, this is a time for feeling and being in our environment, or one we create for ourselves that is calming."
It implies that feelings aren't in our mind or can somehow be separated from the mind. I mean, feelings are in our mind because they are generated there, but I think what Emma is saying is to be more cognizant of separating the "thinking" (analysis) purpose of one's brain from "feeling" (awareness) purpose of one's brain, so we are using these two aspects for their individual intended purposes (rather than combining them to, for example, over-analyze our feelings). I don't know if I'm explaining this very well. Suffice it to say, the idea made an impact on me.
One final note: This is the only review I've ever done where referring to the author by their first name (rather than their last name or "the author") felt comfortable and natural for me to do; in fact, I tried to do otherwise because I worried that calling her "Emma" was too familiar a liberty to take, but that just felt awkward. I think this shows how warm and relatable Emma is as a person, a healer, and a writer.