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Befriending Your Monsters: Facing the Darkness of Your Fears to Experience the Light
Monsters aren't real. As reasonable adults, we know this. But we also know that, while fake, the monsters of fairy tales, movies, and Netflix series embody our very real fears. Large, powerful beings that hunt us in the dark make us feel small, weak, vulnerable. When characters in these stories run away, they temporarily feel safe, but it's not until the monster is faced head-on that the story can have a happy ending--and, more importantly, the hero can become all he or she was created to be.
The same is true of the monsters of the spiritual life. The monsters of comparison (I am what others say about me), more (I am what I have), and success (I am what I do) are powerful enemies of a healthy spiritual life. But ignoring them solves nothing. Pastor and speaker Luke Norsworthy wants you to face your monsters, get to know them, and discover how they are inviting you into a deeper understanding of yourself and a more intimate connection with God. You'll never completely eradicate your fears, but if you befriend them, they can lead you into becoming God's intention for you.
The same is true of the monsters of the spiritual life. The monsters of comparison (I am what others say about me), more (I am what I have), and success (I am what I do) are powerful enemies of a healthy spiritual life. But ignoring them solves nothing. Pastor and speaker Luke Norsworthy wants you to face your monsters, get to know them, and discover how they are inviting you into a deeper understanding of yourself and a more intimate connection with God. You'll never completely eradicate your fears, but if you befriend them, they can lead you into becoming God's intention for you.
- GenresChristianNonfiction
240 pages, Paperback
Published May 19, 2020
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August 25, 2020
Summary: Discusses the fears (monsters) we often run from or that shape our lives, advocating befriending them by facing our fears, allowing us to move into healthier lives.
The real monsters in our lives are not the ones we watched in monster flicks on TV or at movies or read about in horror fiction. In one sense, fictional monsters represent the projection of our fears. The author of this book, Luke Norsworthy maintains this is so in real life as well. We have all sorts of fears: of failure, about the future, concerning money, about health, about our children, about what our lives have meant. And just like in childhood, there are only two ways to deal with monsters–whether they are under the bed, or in the thoughts that wake us in the night– we hide or we confront.
Norsworthy notes that word monster comes from the Latin monere meaning “to warn.” Monsters may be friends, warning us, in order to save us. Unheeded, they may also destroy us, as any addict will tell you. Sin pulls us away from the life of God, exploiting the cracks in our lives, causing us to curve in upon ourselves rather than thriving as we reach up to God. Sometimes, it is only in the darkness that we realize how lost we are and can finally reach out for the help we need.
Norsworthy, in the second part of his book focuses on three universal monsters: comparison, more and success. He looks at four questions concerning how the monsters operate and how we become free:
1. What’s the prop? The prop is the presenting monster that gets our attention
2. What’s the pull? How does the monster exercise influence over our lives?
3. What’s the point? The point has to do with the issues of the heart for which the monster is a warning.
4. How does the light get in? How do we turn from hiding to facing the monster and loosing its hold on us?
For example, with comparison:
1. The prop is the unsettling awareness that in some respect, another is more or better than me.
2. The pull is an identity crisis, in which the focus on others causes us to forget who and whose we are.
3. The point is that this draws us away from a stable scale or place of resting in God’s love and approval of our lives for the shifting and fickle measures of approval or measuring up with others.
4. The light for comparison, is to keep our focus in our lane, not on those in other lanes, on Christ’s bidding to follow him, not to be like someone else but to be more like ourselves.
After considering these four questions for each of these monsters, he concludes with discussing how to befriend our monsters–how to heed the warnings of the monsters without being driven in fear of them. Using the example of David preparing to meet Goliath, he invites us to learn to shed the armor of our false self for the true self that is neither better nor worse than who we are, just who we are. To recognize our monsters, we have to move beyond our shallow emotions to what they point toward. We move beyond our anger to what has been disturbed arousing our anger–our inadequacies, our fears of impotence. And we learn not to expect our monsters to be immediately vanquished but by facing them daily as disciples allowing them to transform us.
Norsworthy’s writing style is not what one would learn in composition classes. He uses a number of one sentence paragraphs, somewhat like Hebrew parallelism that reinforces or contrasts ideas. It ends up being oddly readable, where one moves through the text, clearly grasping his key ideas. Rather than seeming disconnected, it his highly coherent. Furthermore, Norsworthy presents in insightful and imaginative ways the ideas of facing rather than running from our fears, recognizing our false self, and embracing who we are in Christ.
Running from our fears always cuts us off from life in its fullness and gives fears far greater control over us than if we faced them. Norsworthy helps us name these monsters, these fears, and wisely helps us to see that the aim is not to banish them but to turn them into friends. Only then may we learn to live wisely and well.
________________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
The real monsters in our lives are not the ones we watched in monster flicks on TV or at movies or read about in horror fiction. In one sense, fictional monsters represent the projection of our fears. The author of this book, Luke Norsworthy maintains this is so in real life as well. We have all sorts of fears: of failure, about the future, concerning money, about health, about our children, about what our lives have meant. And just like in childhood, there are only two ways to deal with monsters–whether they are under the bed, or in the thoughts that wake us in the night– we hide or we confront.
Norsworthy notes that word monster comes from the Latin monere meaning “to warn.” Monsters may be friends, warning us, in order to save us. Unheeded, they may also destroy us, as any addict will tell you. Sin pulls us away from the life of God, exploiting the cracks in our lives, causing us to curve in upon ourselves rather than thriving as we reach up to God. Sometimes, it is only in the darkness that we realize how lost we are and can finally reach out for the help we need.
Norsworthy, in the second part of his book focuses on three universal monsters: comparison, more and success. He looks at four questions concerning how the monsters operate and how we become free:
1. What’s the prop? The prop is the presenting monster that gets our attention
2. What’s the pull? How does the monster exercise influence over our lives?
3. What’s the point? The point has to do with the issues of the heart for which the monster is a warning.
4. How does the light get in? How do we turn from hiding to facing the monster and loosing its hold on us?
For example, with comparison:
1. The prop is the unsettling awareness that in some respect, another is more or better than me.
2. The pull is an identity crisis, in which the focus on others causes us to forget who and whose we are.
3. The point is that this draws us away from a stable scale or place of resting in God’s love and approval of our lives for the shifting and fickle measures of approval or measuring up with others.
4. The light for comparison, is to keep our focus in our lane, not on those in other lanes, on Christ’s bidding to follow him, not to be like someone else but to be more like ourselves.
After considering these four questions for each of these monsters, he concludes with discussing how to befriend our monsters–how to heed the warnings of the monsters without being driven in fear of them. Using the example of David preparing to meet Goliath, he invites us to learn to shed the armor of our false self for the true self that is neither better nor worse than who we are, just who we are. To recognize our monsters, we have to move beyond our shallow emotions to what they point toward. We move beyond our anger to what has been disturbed arousing our anger–our inadequacies, our fears of impotence. And we learn not to expect our monsters to be immediately vanquished but by facing them daily as disciples allowing them to transform us.
Norsworthy’s writing style is not what one would learn in composition classes. He uses a number of one sentence paragraphs, somewhat like Hebrew parallelism that reinforces or contrasts ideas. It ends up being oddly readable, where one moves through the text, clearly grasping his key ideas. Rather than seeming disconnected, it his highly coherent. Furthermore, Norsworthy presents in insightful and imaginative ways the ideas of facing rather than running from our fears, recognizing our false self, and embracing who we are in Christ.
Running from our fears always cuts us off from life in its fullness and gives fears far greater control over us than if we faced them. Norsworthy helps us name these monsters, these fears, and wisely helps us to see that the aim is not to banish them but to turn them into friends. Only then may we learn to live wisely and well.
________________________________
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary review copy of this book from the publisher. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
August 11, 2020
Okay, I'll admit it, I almost didn't choose this book for review because it reminded me of the song by Rihanna and there's something about the message in that song that doesn't sit well with me.
Thank God I ignored my misgivings and decided to read this book. The monsters that Luke Norsworthy talks about are not the fearful Jaws or Godzilla as you may think. Instead, he talks about the sneaky things in our life that can snatch us away from God's best for us. Things like comparison, fear, and a desire for more.
How many of us can honestly say we've never wanted more than we already had? Or compared ourselves--or been compared--to someone else? How many people can claim that we're not afraid of anything and mean it? I bet not many.
Befriending Your Monsters is an invitation to look at the things that obscure your identity in Christ.
Know God--we're going to define ourselves according to a standard. Either we're going to use the world's or we're going to use God's. The best way to find truth is to learn more about the character of God. Befriending Your Monsters encourages you to do that. Explore God's character so that you can identify the things that are not of Him--the things that would otherwise draw you into the darkness and away from the truth.
Know yourself--we learn about ourselves only in relation to our knowledge of God. Spend some time in the presence of God so that you can know who you are in Christ.
Run your race-- everyone has a specific purpose that God wants them to accomplish on earth. It's impossible to meet that purpose if you're too busy comparing yourself to other people and trying to mimic their behavior. Our path is unique and we need to focus on doing what we need to do to finish the work of the gospel.
The author spent a lot of time uncovering the monsters but he didn't really show you how to befriend them. Still, I enjoyed this book as it gave me a new way of looking at the things that happen in my life. I can look to Jesus instead of leaning into the cravings for more of this world.
I received an advanced reader's copy from the publishers through the Baker Books Bloggers program; a positive review was not required.
Thank God I ignored my misgivings and decided to read this book. The monsters that Luke Norsworthy talks about are not the fearful Jaws or Godzilla as you may think. Instead, he talks about the sneaky things in our life that can snatch us away from God's best for us. Things like comparison, fear, and a desire for more.
How many of us can honestly say we've never wanted more than we already had? Or compared ourselves--or been compared--to someone else? How many people can claim that we're not afraid of anything and mean it? I bet not many.
Befriending Your Monsters is an invitation to look at the things that obscure your identity in Christ.
Know God--we're going to define ourselves according to a standard. Either we're going to use the world's or we're going to use God's. The best way to find truth is to learn more about the character of God. Befriending Your Monsters encourages you to do that. Explore God's character so that you can identify the things that are not of Him--the things that would otherwise draw you into the darkness and away from the truth.
Know yourself--we learn about ourselves only in relation to our knowledge of God. Spend some time in the presence of God so that you can know who you are in Christ.
Run your race-- everyone has a specific purpose that God wants them to accomplish on earth. It's impossible to meet that purpose if you're too busy comparing yourself to other people and trying to mimic their behavior. Our path is unique and we need to focus on doing what we need to do to finish the work of the gospel.
The author spent a lot of time uncovering the monsters but he didn't really show you how to befriend them. Still, I enjoyed this book as it gave me a new way of looking at the things that happen in my life. I can look to Jesus instead of leaning into the cravings for more of this world.
I received an advanced reader's copy from the publishers through the Baker Books Bloggers program; a positive review was not required.
July 23, 2020
As kids we have the typical monsters under the bed fear going on, and we’re tirelessly told monsters aren’t real.
However as we become adults we realize that’s not completely true.
I’ve struggled for years with the monsters and darkness battling inside the light. It’s not the literal monsters — it’s the “I am what others say I am” or “I am what I have” or even more “I am what I do.” I think today I needed this book in my life.
Because I’ve been running from my fears but Luke Norsworthy tells us to run towards them, embrace that we have them, and how facing them can be the biggest step towards healing. He explains in his book why we’re struggling with certain monsters and what they mean while giving us hope for tomorrow. His insight on how to tear down the things holding us back is refreshing and beautiful.
The best thing for you is rarely when you’re winning.
The worst thing for you isn’t losing.
Luke Norsworthy
2020 marks the year of monsters for my generation. Sometimes I wonder if we’re all drowing and will never surface. Sometimes I think it would be easier to pull the covers over my head and ignore them, but the author reminds us that they won’t go away. We are only prolonging the pain by not standing up and running towards our fears.
His humor but also his wisdom drew me to this solid book. He’s honest about his own life while making me smile. I’m not doing this review just because I have to but because I think we need this book in the world right now. We need to be reminded that hiding from our past will not solve our issues. We need to see the light and how it can pierce the darkest night.
So run for this book as you run towards your fears — it’s time to beat this.
Thank you to Baker Books for this complimentary book and allowing me to do this review.
However as we become adults we realize that’s not completely true.
I’ve struggled for years with the monsters and darkness battling inside the light. It’s not the literal monsters — it’s the “I am what others say I am” or “I am what I have” or even more “I am what I do.” I think today I needed this book in my life.
Because I’ve been running from my fears but Luke Norsworthy tells us to run towards them, embrace that we have them, and how facing them can be the biggest step towards healing. He explains in his book why we’re struggling with certain monsters and what they mean while giving us hope for tomorrow. His insight on how to tear down the things holding us back is refreshing and beautiful.
The best thing for you is rarely when you’re winning.
The worst thing for you isn’t losing.
Luke Norsworthy
2020 marks the year of monsters for my generation. Sometimes I wonder if we’re all drowing and will never surface. Sometimes I think it would be easier to pull the covers over my head and ignore them, but the author reminds us that they won’t go away. We are only prolonging the pain by not standing up and running towards our fears.
His humor but also his wisdom drew me to this solid book. He’s honest about his own life while making me smile. I’m not doing this review just because I have to but because I think we need this book in the world right now. We need to be reminded that hiding from our past will not solve our issues. We need to see the light and how it can pierce the darkest night.
So run for this book as you run towards your fears — it’s time to beat this.
Thank you to Baker Books for this complimentary book and allowing me to do this review.
April 27, 2020
'I am what others say about me', I am what I do, these are potent enemies of a healthy spiritual life.
Pastor and speaker Luke Norsworthy wants you to get to know your enemies and face them, to have a deeper understanding of yourself and a more intimate connection with God.
A fascinating read, as a Christian, I found myself questioning my beliefs, a good thing as learning and challenges are part of a healthy spiritual life.
I thank NetGalley, Baker Books and the Author Luke Norsworthy for allowing me to review this pre-publication novel.
Pastor and speaker Luke Norsworthy wants you to get to know your enemies and face them, to have a deeper understanding of yourself and a more intimate connection with God.
A fascinating read, as a Christian, I found myself questioning my beliefs, a good thing as learning and challenges are part of a healthy spiritual life.
I thank NetGalley, Baker Books and the Author Luke Norsworthy for allowing me to review this pre-publication novel.
July 29, 2020
Monsters hiding in closets and lurking under beds are a fear that plagues children from an early age even if a parent has best attentions of protecting their children from all things scary and evil. The monsters that begin as childhood spookiness or night terrors stem from real-life fear whether a child develops it in their subconscious or in the curiosity of their imagination. Still, the fear exists and it is as real to a child as the PB&J sandwich they eat most days of the week.
These fears never go away on their own and often grow in strength or in number if not addressed or confronted. It is not until a fear is brought into the light that the fear is able to go away or be discovered for what it really is, much like a parent using a flashlight to show their beloved there is no monster living under their bed. Once light shines in the darkness, truth is seen, comfort revealed and over time, courage developed. These fears will never completely be eradicated but if befriended, you’ll be able to understand where they are coming from and why they want to make their presence known.
If left alone, however, these fears only become scarier and will continue their quest to haunt in the deepest corners and darkest shadows of a person’s life.
The book Befriending Your Monsters – Facing the Darkness of Your Fears to Experience the Light tackles the concept of breaking free from the things that hold a person back from becoming who God created them to be. Pastor and author Luke Norsworthy shows the reader how to face the biggest “monsters” that invade a human’s psyche, such as the monster of comparison, the monster of more, and the monster of success, in order to battle the created and receive a stronger, more intimate connection with the Creator. Using the three universal “monsters” (I am what others say about me, I am what I have, and I am what I do), Norsworthy guides the reader to discover how their biggest fears are actually warnings that can guide you towards receiving God’s best for you.
I was immediately intrigued by the theme of this book and was familiar with the author after reading and reviewing God Over Good last year. I appreciated Norsworthy’s perspective, enjoyed his sense of humor and related to his writing style in God Over Good so I believed reading Befriending Your Monsters would be just as personally gratifying and spiritually productive.
It most certainly was.
Over the last three years I have been seeking the root of my [for lack of better word and desire to be blunt] problems so I can deeper understand why I am the way I am and how obtaining that wisdom can lead me towards becoming the woman God intended for me to be. The idea that fear can reside within me and grow and strengthen over time if pushed aside, buried or ignored resonated with me so much that I found myself dog-earing many pages and highlighting numerous statements throughout this book.
“Your monster is the metaphor or the proxy for what prevents you from becoming what you were created to be. You were created not just good but very good; yet disordering and distorting forces pull against and subvert your Creator’s best intentions for you. To live this good life, you can’t continue to run away scared. You must turn around and go back into the dark, so you can experience the light.” ~ Befriending Your Monsters, pg. 25
If we never face our fears, they will continue to haunt us.
If we don’t call out our guilt or shame, it will morph into our identity.
If we leave our monsters in our closet and refuse to open the door, we will never discover the potential new or different clothing ensembles can bring.
Befriending Your Monsters is packed with powerful truth that points back to God’s word and His purpose for those He has set apart. Using the infamous story of Jonah and the whale as support, Norsworthy reminds the reader that receiving God’s best is not always the easiest thing to do, the prettiest thing to consider, or the clearest thing to decipher. Jonah refused to go where God wanted him to go and while he had his reasons (mainly, he was scared) God had other plans in mind. It wasn’t until Jonah finally surrendered to God’s call and direction that he was able to experience the fullness of life worth living.
Friends, I could not get enough of this book and found myself soaking in the words I read while contemplating the wisdom and applying it to my own life.
Bottom line – God created us good and to do good things but our fears hold us back. Fear hides and distorts but light shows something for what it truly is. Satan wants to keep our fears in the dark because he knows confronting our fears will make us stronger, freer and more confident.
God is calling you into the light because He wants you to become the person He knows you to be.
*I received this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review
These fears never go away on their own and often grow in strength or in number if not addressed or confronted. It is not until a fear is brought into the light that the fear is able to go away or be discovered for what it really is, much like a parent using a flashlight to show their beloved there is no monster living under their bed. Once light shines in the darkness, truth is seen, comfort revealed and over time, courage developed. These fears will never completely be eradicated but if befriended, you’ll be able to understand where they are coming from and why they want to make their presence known.
If left alone, however, these fears only become scarier and will continue their quest to haunt in the deepest corners and darkest shadows of a person’s life.
The book Befriending Your Monsters – Facing the Darkness of Your Fears to Experience the Light tackles the concept of breaking free from the things that hold a person back from becoming who God created them to be. Pastor and author Luke Norsworthy shows the reader how to face the biggest “monsters” that invade a human’s psyche, such as the monster of comparison, the monster of more, and the monster of success, in order to battle the created and receive a stronger, more intimate connection with the Creator. Using the three universal “monsters” (I am what others say about me, I am what I have, and I am what I do), Norsworthy guides the reader to discover how their biggest fears are actually warnings that can guide you towards receiving God’s best for you.
I was immediately intrigued by the theme of this book and was familiar with the author after reading and reviewing God Over Good last year. I appreciated Norsworthy’s perspective, enjoyed his sense of humor and related to his writing style in God Over Good so I believed reading Befriending Your Monsters would be just as personally gratifying and spiritually productive.
It most certainly was.
Over the last three years I have been seeking the root of my [for lack of better word and desire to be blunt] problems so I can deeper understand why I am the way I am and how obtaining that wisdom can lead me towards becoming the woman God intended for me to be. The idea that fear can reside within me and grow and strengthen over time if pushed aside, buried or ignored resonated with me so much that I found myself dog-earing many pages and highlighting numerous statements throughout this book.
“Your monster is the metaphor or the proxy for what prevents you from becoming what you were created to be. You were created not just good but very good; yet disordering and distorting forces pull against and subvert your Creator’s best intentions for you. To live this good life, you can’t continue to run away scared. You must turn around and go back into the dark, so you can experience the light.” ~ Befriending Your Monsters, pg. 25
If we never face our fears, they will continue to haunt us.
If we don’t call out our guilt or shame, it will morph into our identity.
If we leave our monsters in our closet and refuse to open the door, we will never discover the potential new or different clothing ensembles can bring.
Befriending Your Monsters is packed with powerful truth that points back to God’s word and His purpose for those He has set apart. Using the infamous story of Jonah and the whale as support, Norsworthy reminds the reader that receiving God’s best is not always the easiest thing to do, the prettiest thing to consider, or the clearest thing to decipher. Jonah refused to go where God wanted him to go and while he had his reasons (mainly, he was scared) God had other plans in mind. It wasn’t until Jonah finally surrendered to God’s call and direction that he was able to experience the fullness of life worth living.
Friends, I could not get enough of this book and found myself soaking in the words I read while contemplating the wisdom and applying it to my own life.
Bottom line – God created us good and to do good things but our fears hold us back. Fear hides and distorts but light shows something for what it truly is. Satan wants to keep our fears in the dark because he knows confronting our fears will make us stronger, freer and more confident.
God is calling you into the light because He wants you to become the person He knows you to be.
*I received this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review
June 29, 2020
In author Luke Norsworthy’s Befriending Your Monsters, your monster is the metaphor for whatever prevents you from becoming what you were created to be. With this in mind, we all face monsters, and Norsworthy’s aim is to help us befriend them. We can’t eliminate life’s monsters, but when we see them and expose them for what they are, we have the ability to find God’s healing love.
Mr. Norsworthy’s storytelling is memorable, as expected of any great minister. Befriending Your Monsters unfolds as a series of engaging stories. The stories provide examples of the types of monsters we might face in our lives, such as fear, addiction, and comparison. And because we can’t eradicate them, we can befriend them and lead a monster-friendly life.
Befriending Your Monsters stops short of the ‘how-to’ or action steps to befriending your monsters, but sometimes acknowledgment alone is enough to spark change. This is not a book to lead the reader through change.
How this book affected me: I was drawn into the charismatic storytelling and thoroughly enjoyed that aspect, assuming it was being used to set the foundation of the concept of the monsters we face, which it was. But I was waiting for the ‘how to’ or instructional aspect and expected Section III – A monster-friendly life to include more concrete guidance.
Who would enjoy this book: Anyone who’s ready to take a serious look in the mirror and tackle the monsters that are holding them back in life might enjoy this book. The caveat is that the book primarily helps the reader open his or her eyes to the possibility of loosening the monster’s grasp and stops short of the methods to change.
Our Christian Book Reviews: The book reviews at Finding God Among Us focus on Christian books – adult and children, fiction and nonfiction. Our specialty is books on faith and new Christian book releases. We’re proud to be included in the Top 50 Christian Book Review Bloggers. Our publisher partners include New Growth Press, Shadow Mountain Publishing, and Revell and BakerBooks, divisions of Baker Publishing Group. I chose to read this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
Mr. Norsworthy’s storytelling is memorable, as expected of any great minister. Befriending Your Monsters unfolds as a series of engaging stories. The stories provide examples of the types of monsters we might face in our lives, such as fear, addiction, and comparison. And because we can’t eradicate them, we can befriend them and lead a monster-friendly life.
Befriending Your Monsters stops short of the ‘how-to’ or action steps to befriending your monsters, but sometimes acknowledgment alone is enough to spark change. This is not a book to lead the reader through change.
How this book affected me: I was drawn into the charismatic storytelling and thoroughly enjoyed that aspect, assuming it was being used to set the foundation of the concept of the monsters we face, which it was. But I was waiting for the ‘how to’ or instructional aspect and expected Section III – A monster-friendly life to include more concrete guidance.
Who would enjoy this book: Anyone who’s ready to take a serious look in the mirror and tackle the monsters that are holding them back in life might enjoy this book. The caveat is that the book primarily helps the reader open his or her eyes to the possibility of loosening the monster’s grasp and stops short of the methods to change.
Our Christian Book Reviews: The book reviews at Finding God Among Us focus on Christian books – adult and children, fiction and nonfiction. Our specialty is books on faith and new Christian book releases. We’re proud to be included in the Top 50 Christian Book Review Bloggers. Our publisher partners include New Growth Press, Shadow Mountain Publishing, and Revell and BakerBooks, divisions of Baker Publishing Group. I chose to read this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
July 15, 2020
My daughter shared just the other day of our granddaughter having had a rough night getting to sleep due to fear of “ghosts”. She logically presented how she knew there was no such thing. Yet due to a video she had seen during the day, when she closed her eyes all she could see were ghosts.
Monsters are like that. We know they aren’t real, nor are they logical. Yet they haunt and fill us with emotions which will paralyze us if we don’t face them head on.
In his recent book, Befriending Your Monsters, Luke Norsworthy discusses facing our monsters and what they can represent. The book is broken down into three sections:
1. Meeting Monsters. In this section, he explains where to go to find your monsters and what you will find when you get there. Our character is formed in the dark but because Jesus is the light, we have the hope that we never face the darkness alone.
2. The Three Universal Monsters. Here you will find a discussion of three universal monsters – comparison, more, and success. No matter where we live, when we live, or our culture, our hearts really aren’t very different.
3. A Monster-Friendly Life. This last part brings the discussion of how to not live a monster-friendly life. To live a life by which we face our monsters will require intentionality. It will require us to face what is hidden and resides deep within our hearts.
Luke Norsworthy shares with an authenticity and a sense of humor which kept me interested to read. Sure, he doesn’t share anything that is new to us, but he does share in a way to give us cause to stop and ponder a bit more, and we all need reminders now and again. He brings the book to a close with these words from his prayer:
“And most of all, may you trust that what you initially saw as monsters intended to destroy you were actually invitations used by your loving heavenly parent to save you.” (from page 228)
** I was provided a copy of this book by Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group. The opinions expressed in this review are my own.
Monsters are like that. We know they aren’t real, nor are they logical. Yet they haunt and fill us with emotions which will paralyze us if we don’t face them head on.
In his recent book, Befriending Your Monsters, Luke Norsworthy discusses facing our monsters and what they can represent. The book is broken down into three sections:
1. Meeting Monsters. In this section, he explains where to go to find your monsters and what you will find when you get there. Our character is formed in the dark but because Jesus is the light, we have the hope that we never face the darkness alone.
2. The Three Universal Monsters. Here you will find a discussion of three universal monsters – comparison, more, and success. No matter where we live, when we live, or our culture, our hearts really aren’t very different.
3. A Monster-Friendly Life. This last part brings the discussion of how to not live a monster-friendly life. To live a life by which we face our monsters will require intentionality. It will require us to face what is hidden and resides deep within our hearts.
Luke Norsworthy shares with an authenticity and a sense of humor which kept me interested to read. Sure, he doesn’t share anything that is new to us, but he does share in a way to give us cause to stop and ponder a bit more, and we all need reminders now and again. He brings the book to a close with these words from his prayer:
“And most of all, may you trust that what you initially saw as monsters intended to destroy you were actually invitations used by your loving heavenly parent to save you.” (from page 228)
** I was provided a copy of this book by Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group. The opinions expressed in this review are my own.
July 29, 2020
With the pandemic, I have struggled at times with some fear and anxiety-like many Americans. Befriending Your Monsters by Luke Norsworthy looked like a good read to face those struggles with so I selected this book.
Befriending Your Monsters is divided into three sections: Meeting Monsters about the types of monsters that Norsworthy discusses in this book. The second section is The Three Universal Monsters: Comparison, More and Success. He also explains how and why these can be monsters in a Christian's life. The third section is entitled A Monster Friendly Life in which Norsworthy gives readers three principles for dealing with the monsters in their own life.
I was looking forward to reading Befriending Your Monsters. I think there is some good information in this book but I struggled with the format. It felt like a collection of sidebars to me and the information seemed disjointed in its presentation. He does point out that these monsters are in our lives to teach us something. I can understand that. I also struggled to connect to some of his illustrations. I think he sounded more like a theologian to me and I was hoping for someone who was more on my level. It just wasn't my cup of tea. However, it might be yours. If you have struggled with some of these issues, it may touch you in a way it didn't touch me. Not all books are for all people. I would encourage you to give Befriending Your Monsters a try if you are interested.
I received a copy of this book from Baker Books. All opinions within this review are my own.
Befriending Your Monsters is divided into three sections: Meeting Monsters about the types of monsters that Norsworthy discusses in this book. The second section is The Three Universal Monsters: Comparison, More and Success. He also explains how and why these can be monsters in a Christian's life. The third section is entitled A Monster Friendly Life in which Norsworthy gives readers three principles for dealing with the monsters in their own life.
I was looking forward to reading Befriending Your Monsters. I think there is some good information in this book but I struggled with the format. It felt like a collection of sidebars to me and the information seemed disjointed in its presentation. He does point out that these monsters are in our lives to teach us something. I can understand that. I also struggled to connect to some of his illustrations. I think he sounded more like a theologian to me and I was hoping for someone who was more on my level. It just wasn't my cup of tea. However, it might be yours. If you have struggled with some of these issues, it may touch you in a way it didn't touch me. Not all books are for all people. I would encourage you to give Befriending Your Monsters a try if you are interested.
I received a copy of this book from Baker Books. All opinions within this review are my own.
September 9, 2020
Befriending Your Monsters, while leaning towards sensationalism, may have something interesting to offer to millennial or Generation “Z” readers because of research indicating their preoccupation with fear. Norsworthy, while not a scholar himself, works off of the work of the anthropologist David Gilmore saying monsters really are representations of the existential fears of a given society, and that our “fake monsters embody our real fears. . . putting fur, flesh, and fangs on our finitude, our weakness, and our limitation” (Luke Norsworthy Befriending Your Monsters: Facing the Darkness of Your Fears to Experience the Light. Baker Books, 2020, p. 23). What further separates Norsworthy’s book is that instead of advocating annihilation of fears, he argues we need to befriend our monsters. This forces us to thoughtfully engage ourselves instead of “[ignoring and hiding from] our own hearts” (pp. 87). While this concept may be counterintuitive at first, it seems to be a real phenomenon in stories, and may be helpful to how we interpret the stories of our lives. Although his writing style is a bit too casual and sensational, I believe this book would be beneficial for anyone if they remember to engage the fear in their hearts while reading. God calls us to challenge our monsters and trust Him to be the Savior of our stories, not just for our sake, but so that we may be able to help others tackle their monsters, fight true evil in this world, and advance God’s wonderful kingdom.
March 18, 2023
In a world where there is such flux, reading “Befriending Your Monsters” by Luke Norsworthy was a refreshment on a table where much is offered. It talked about meeting your monsters whether they are under your bed, in your heart or your mind and he talks of the monsters of comparison, more and success.
This was not a book to be read in one sitting; though it was filled with humor. For me, it was digested slowly in the beginning like a good appetizer. I sat with the first section a bit and let it resonate.
As I read the rest of the book, I keep thinking of one of my favorite Christian singer TobyMac, and the song “Found”. In the choir of my car, me, myself and I, sing the lyrics often “I have been lost more than once, I have been frozen by the high beams, Ninety-nine others, but You always seem to find me”. I think that is what Luke is trying to say when on page 212 it is written “Go where you don’t want to go, beyond the shallow symptoms, and what you will find is your monster. But you will also find the loving God who was drawing you there. You will find God’s desire for you to no longer be conformed to the image that fear has contorted you into, but to be transformed by the healing power of love”. It is when we go deeper, we find our true selves and embrace who we are with Christ.
The last few sections are where the main feast of the book is found. I would recommend reading this book and while I did receive a book from the author, I would have bought it anyway.
This was not a book to be read in one sitting; though it was filled with humor. For me, it was digested slowly in the beginning like a good appetizer. I sat with the first section a bit and let it resonate.
As I read the rest of the book, I keep thinking of one of my favorite Christian singer TobyMac, and the song “Found”. In the choir of my car, me, myself and I, sing the lyrics often “I have been lost more than once, I have been frozen by the high beams, Ninety-nine others, but You always seem to find me”. I think that is what Luke is trying to say when on page 212 it is written “Go where you don’t want to go, beyond the shallow symptoms, and what you will find is your monster. But you will also find the loving God who was drawing you there. You will find God’s desire for you to no longer be conformed to the image that fear has contorted you into, but to be transformed by the healing power of love”. It is when we go deeper, we find our true selves and embrace who we are with Christ.
The last few sections are where the main feast of the book is found. I would recommend reading this book and while I did receive a book from the author, I would have bought it anyway.
July 19, 2020
Monsters. We all know them. Most of us hide from them, or run from them. Some of us still have to look in the closet or under the bed to make sure they’re not waiting for us. But what if there were another way to deal with them?
Pastor Luke Norsworthy suggests that there is, and that’s the premise of his book, Befriending Your Monsters: Facing the Darkness of Your Fears to Experience the Light (Baker Books, 2020)
Even though the monsters usually aren’t real, our fears are, and sometimes those fears are enough to paralyze us. I’m not talking about things like fear of heights or crowds, or walking through a really rough neighborhood, alone, late at night. Sometimes fear is a good thing—like pain, it can be a sign that something is wrong. But Norsworthy writes about some monsters (fears) that keep us from being the person that each of us was designed to be. Simply put he writes about 3 specific “universal monsters”: ‘Comparison’, ‘More’, and ‘Success’.
For each of these monsters, the author describes the prop, the pull, the point, and the light. This is an easy read as we learn how comparing ourselves to others, thinking we need more, and falling into the trap of thinking that we are what we do hold us back, and make us afraid to move forward.
An enjoyable and helpful book
I received a copy of this book from the publisher as a member of their blogger program. I was asked to provide an honest review
5/5
Pastor Luke Norsworthy suggests that there is, and that’s the premise of his book, Befriending Your Monsters: Facing the Darkness of Your Fears to Experience the Light (Baker Books, 2020)
Even though the monsters usually aren’t real, our fears are, and sometimes those fears are enough to paralyze us. I’m not talking about things like fear of heights or crowds, or walking through a really rough neighborhood, alone, late at night. Sometimes fear is a good thing—like pain, it can be a sign that something is wrong. But Norsworthy writes about some monsters (fears) that keep us from being the person that each of us was designed to be. Simply put he writes about 3 specific “universal monsters”: ‘Comparison’, ‘More’, and ‘Success’.
For each of these monsters, the author describes the prop, the pull, the point, and the light. This is an easy read as we learn how comparing ourselves to others, thinking we need more, and falling into the trap of thinking that we are what we do hold us back, and make us afraid to move forward.
An enjoyable and helpful book
I received a copy of this book from the publisher as a member of their blogger program. I was asked to provide an honest review
5/5
Read
March 20, 2021This year I have been enjoying reading books that encourage growth toward my goal of moving forward, which is #Oneword365 for the year. Luke Norsworthy’s “Befriending Your Monsters” is one such book. Luke describes a monster as something that hinders you from becoming who God created you to be. He shares hard truths, such as, “Adversity is required for growth.” ,and that there is a cost for growth. As someone who sometimes feels insecure, Luke reminded me that the opposite of insecurity is contentment. The monster of comparison causes us to forget who we are created to be.
Luke encourages his readers to be grounded in God’s love as the way to live your best life. He reminds us that gratitude in today’s world takes effort. Gratitude helps us realize that gifts are given to us by God’s grace. One of my favorite quotes in the book states, “Go where you don’t want to go, beyond the shallow symptoms, and what you will find is your monster. You will also find the loving God who is drawing you there. You will find God’s desire for you no longer to be conformed to the image that fear has contorted you into, but to be transformed into the healing power of love.” I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever felt the pull of comparison, the desire to have more, be more or do more, or the need for others to view you as successful. As a recovering people pleaser I found the chapters about comparison very helpful.
Luke encourages his readers to be grounded in God’s love as the way to live your best life. He reminds us that gratitude in today’s world takes effort. Gratitude helps us realize that gifts are given to us by God’s grace. One of my favorite quotes in the book states, “Go where you don’t want to go, beyond the shallow symptoms, and what you will find is your monster. You will also find the loving God who is drawing you there. You will find God’s desire for you no longer to be conformed to the image that fear has contorted you into, but to be transformed into the healing power of love.” I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever felt the pull of comparison, the desire to have more, be more or do more, or the need for others to view you as successful. As a recovering people pleaser I found the chapters about comparison very helpful.
April 11, 2025
We all have “monsters.” I’ve always called them “demons.” Everyone has demons they struggle with, abuse as a child, feelings of inferiority, rejection, feeling less than…you name it, everyone has demons (“monsters”). The title says it all in terms of this book: facing those monsters, dealing with those monsters, to experience Light. Norsworthy is a popular pastor who used to have a really good podcast (may still, but I believe it is on indefinite pause). I read his first book a couple of years ago and bought this one at the same time (I think they came packaged together). I had enjoyed Luke’s podcast and thought I might enjoy the books. The first one was ok, but was too much a rehash of the stories from his podcast so I wasn’t in any hurry to read book #2 as I had already heard those stories/interviews. For whatever reason I finally did read this book. I liked it better than book #1, mostly because it had more new material, not taken from the podcast. To be clear, if you have listened to most of his podcasts (which are mostly him interviewing writers…mostly quite good and the source for many books I’ve reviewed over the years), you’ve heard much of this book. Still, much more of this book is new material. The first part of the book is well written and follows a coherent theme. After a while the book devolves into a series of good stories around the monster theme but without a strong thread connecting them. Not bad, and a good collection of anecdotes on the theme.
September 6, 2021
Monsters are everywhere: in books and on television, in movies and fairy tales, on Halloween ads and, of course, in our nightmares. These frightening creatures might not be real, but their imagined existence reflects the TRUE monsters that dwell within us—the lies we believe, dreaded emotions we feel, and crippling stories we tell ourselves. These monsters are every bit as terrifying and destructive as the monsters we see on the big screen, and ignoring them is not an option. But according to pastor and podcast host Luke Norsworthy, the solution isn’t to defeat these monsters, but to notice, befriend, and learn from them. . . because in stepping into the darkness and coming face to face with our biggest fears and foes, we are freed to become who God has made us to be.
In Befriending Your Monsters, Luke illuminates the presence of monsters, explains how they have the potential to destroy or deliver us, then zooms in on three universal monsters of Comparison, More, and Success—showing how these monsters lure us in, and highlighting the spiritual gifts that come from bringing each specific monster into the light. Luke ends the book by helping us gear up for encounters with our monsters, knowing where we can find them, and determining how to respond when we do.
This books takes a challenging topic and flips it on its head, making impossible tasks seem less daunting and showing that frightening prospects of self exploration and spiritual work can lead to hope and restoration. Many of the ideas presented here seem counterintuitive, but Luke shows them to be true through scripture and his own life. . . and I believe him, because I have seen them to be true for myself: as I’ve confronted my scariest monsters, I’ve seen how much they have to teach me, and how they will NOT defeat me but draw me closer to the Lord and make me better equipped to live a life abiding in Him.
Though the content is serious, the tone of the book is refreshingly lighthearted and at times extremely funny. I’ve grown to appreciate Luke Norsworthy’s sarcasm and self-deprecation through his podcast, and that comes through in this book, but so does a depth of wisdom and spiritual maturity, and a clear-eyed understanding of the correlations between spirituality, psychology, and human tendencies. I had highlights on nearly every page which, for me, is the sign of a fantastic book.
My Rating: 5 Stars.
This review first appeared on my personal blog, https://kendranicole.net/september-20...
Please visit my site for more book reviews: https://kendranicole.net/category/boo...
In Befriending Your Monsters, Luke illuminates the presence of monsters, explains how they have the potential to destroy or deliver us, then zooms in on three universal monsters of Comparison, More, and Success—showing how these monsters lure us in, and highlighting the spiritual gifts that come from bringing each specific monster into the light. Luke ends the book by helping us gear up for encounters with our monsters, knowing where we can find them, and determining how to respond when we do.
This books takes a challenging topic and flips it on its head, making impossible tasks seem less daunting and showing that frightening prospects of self exploration and spiritual work can lead to hope and restoration. Many of the ideas presented here seem counterintuitive, but Luke shows them to be true through scripture and his own life. . . and I believe him, because I have seen them to be true for myself: as I’ve confronted my scariest monsters, I’ve seen how much they have to teach me, and how they will NOT defeat me but draw me closer to the Lord and make me better equipped to live a life abiding in Him.
Though the content is serious, the tone of the book is refreshingly lighthearted and at times extremely funny. I’ve grown to appreciate Luke Norsworthy’s sarcasm and self-deprecation through his podcast, and that comes through in this book, but so does a depth of wisdom and spiritual maturity, and a clear-eyed understanding of the correlations between spirituality, psychology, and human tendencies. I had highlights on nearly every page which, for me, is the sign of a fantastic book.
My Rating: 5 Stars.
This review first appeared on my personal blog, https://kendranicole.net/september-20...
Please visit my site for more book reviews: https://kendranicole.net/category/boo...
July 9, 2020
We all know that the monsters we see on film or read about in books aren't real, but often we miss how those fake monsters can put fur, flesh, and fangs on the very real fears that haunt us. Pastor Luke Norsworthy shows you how to face your monsters, like the monsters of comparison (I am what others say about me), more (I am what I have), and success (I am what I do), and discover how they are warnings that invite you to become a truer version of yourself and have a deeper connection with your Creator.
You'll never completely eradicate your monsters and the fears they represent, but if you befriend them, they can lead you into becoming God's truest intention for you.
My Thoughts: We all have things that we are afraid of. This book is written to help us fact those things that make us afraid. The book begins with illustrations that look into the different types of "monsters" for fears that we may have. This book enables us to face what frightens us and enables us to be the person God wants us to be. This book is very helpful and useful.
You'll never completely eradicate your monsters and the fears they represent, but if you befriend them, they can lead you into becoming God's truest intention for you.
My Thoughts: We all have things that we are afraid of. This book is written to help us fact those things that make us afraid. The book begins with illustrations that look into the different types of "monsters" for fears that we may have. This book enables us to face what frightens us and enables us to be the person God wants us to be. This book is very helpful and useful.
July 6, 2020
“Befriending Your Monsters” by Luke Norsworthy is a very inspiring read! I have never heard the concept of “befriending your monsters”; however, after reading this book, it makes sense! This book addresses the monsters of comparison, more, and success. Luke Norsworthy shows how the monsters are warnings that show you how to become your true self. I have highlighted so many parts of this book and plan to go back and reread it. This book is very easy to read and hard to put down.
I definitely recommend this book to everyone. I received this book from Baker Books for my honest opinion.
I definitely recommend this book to everyone. I received this book from Baker Books for my honest opinion.
August 2, 2020
Monsters. We all have things that we would declare are monsters in our lives. Those things that haunt us and make us feel like we are unsafe in whatever situation we are facing.
These monsters also attack us in our spiritual lives. In Befriending Your Monsters, Luke Norsworthy writes about the monsters of comparison, more and success and how they seek to make our spiritual lives weak and unhealthy.
Norsworthy reminds us that we can never fully eradicate these monsters from our lives. But we can learn how to live in tandem with them. Using these monsters to cue us when we need to examine the way we approach our spiritual lives so we can once again be healthy.
Rather than being something to be feared, these monsters are meant to help us better understand ourselves and the way that God wired us.
I really enjoyed Befriending Your Monsters. Admittedly, I picked it up for review because Annie F. Downs highly recommended it. And I’m so glad I did. I learned new ways to think about the monsters in my own life.
I also appreciated that Norsworthy shares stories and writes from a place of, “I’m in this journey with you.” I found this book engaging. I was finding as many pockets of time to read as I could, while still taking time to digest and really think about how what I was reading would impact the monsters in my own life.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinion.
These monsters also attack us in our spiritual lives. In Befriending Your Monsters, Luke Norsworthy writes about the monsters of comparison, more and success and how they seek to make our spiritual lives weak and unhealthy.
Norsworthy reminds us that we can never fully eradicate these monsters from our lives. But we can learn how to live in tandem with them. Using these monsters to cue us when we need to examine the way we approach our spiritual lives so we can once again be healthy.
Rather than being something to be feared, these monsters are meant to help us better understand ourselves and the way that God wired us.
I really enjoyed Befriending Your Monsters. Admittedly, I picked it up for review because Annie F. Downs highly recommended it. And I’m so glad I did. I learned new ways to think about the monsters in my own life.
I also appreciated that Norsworthy shares stories and writes from a place of, “I’m in this journey with you.” I found this book engaging. I was finding as many pockets of time to read as I could, while still taking time to digest and really think about how what I was reading would impact the monsters in my own life.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinion.
July 10, 2020
This book was incredible writing and compelling to read with that also had an encouraging and inspiring when the time had come to all of us had to go to the darkness, fear, and scared but if you are stand up and stay strong it will let you see a little light that always had in the corner of the Darkness to encourage yourself to be a success in life. I highly recommend to everyone must read this book. “ I received complimentary a copy of this book from Baker Books Bloggers for this review”.
October 10, 2021
Was Hoping for More
I really enjoy Luke's writing style and especially his sense of humor, but I was looking for more meat in this book. I'd recommend his first book, God Over Good for those interested in checking out his work. I also appreciate his podcast
I really enjoy Luke's writing style and especially his sense of humor, but I was looking for more meat in this book. I'd recommend his first book, God Over Good for those interested in checking out his work. I also appreciate his podcast
September 14, 2020
The content was convicting and challenging. Gave me a lot to think about! Luke's style is engaging and enjoyable. Would Highly Recommend
September 15, 2020
So so good!
January 15, 2025
Amazing book, one of my favourites.
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