What do you think?
Rate this book
The Worst Romance Novel in the World: Eternal Passion at Sunset
Note: This story is the humorous parody featured in Cassandra Gannon's Not Another Vampire Story novel. Recommend reading after Not Another Vampire Story.
Welcome to Eternal Passion at Sunset, the world’s worst romance novel! Full of inconsistent characters, weird love scenes, convoluted vampire rules, and wincingly bad metaphors, this loving spoof of old-school supernatural romances will make you long for a magical alien cat to whisk you away to another dimension. (Seriously, that’s a thing in this book.)
Spunky and beautiful, Lady Melessa Fairfield dreams of escaping to the 1892 World’s Fair in Chicago, innocently believing that it is her one chance to avoid the arranged marriage to an accountant of her father’s choosing. Yet, she has no idea that evil lurks in the fabled White City, salivating at the thought of destroying her innocent, blonde beauty. A stalking menace consumed with a centuries old vengeance hunts Melessa. Damien, the last of the Wizard Warlocks! Damien knows that the beautiful, innocent Melessa is the destined bride of Slade, king of the noble race of Vampires.
Age old enemies, Damien will stop at nothing to destroy Melessa, enrage his mortal foe, Slade, and win their supernatural war. Meanwhile, Slade will stop at nothing to possess Melessa’s fiery passion for his very own and have the one beautiful woman who can fill the void of his lost soul. If only the beautiful flame-haired vixen will heed his powerful call and give herself fully to this dark knight, before the evil Damien enslaves her and the rest of the planet with his otherworldly powers and thirst for revenge.
Welcome to Eternal Passion at Sunset, the world’s worst romance novel! Full of inconsistent characters, weird love scenes, convoluted vampire rules, and wincingly bad metaphors, this loving spoof of old-school supernatural romances will make you long for a magical alien cat to whisk you away to another dimension. (Seriously, that’s a thing in this book.)
Spunky and beautiful, Lady Melessa Fairfield dreams of escaping to the 1892 World’s Fair in Chicago, innocently believing that it is her one chance to avoid the arranged marriage to an accountant of her father’s choosing. Yet, she has no idea that evil lurks in the fabled White City, salivating at the thought of destroying her innocent, blonde beauty. A stalking menace consumed with a centuries old vengeance hunts Melessa. Damien, the last of the Wizard Warlocks! Damien knows that the beautiful, innocent Melessa is the destined bride of Slade, king of the noble race of Vampires.
Age old enemies, Damien will stop at nothing to destroy Melessa, enrage his mortal foe, Slade, and win their supernatural war. Meanwhile, Slade will stop at nothing to possess Melessa’s fiery passion for his very own and have the one beautiful woman who can fill the void of his lost soul. If only the beautiful flame-haired vixen will heed his powerful call and give herself fully to this dark knight, before the evil Damien enslaves her and the rest of the planet with his otherworldly powers and thirst for revenge.
126 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 20, 2020
43 people are currently reading
110 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
March 21, 2020
Ah, what you can find when you have way too much time on your hands.
Five stars for effort and nailing every bad romance/sex trope and also nailing every poorly written, self-published book issue.
The heroine, Melessa, has the novel spelling of her name, her hair transforms from raven black to platinum as her eyes change from blue to violet to plain brown.
Massive loins and heaving breasts are full on. Only three stars for the whole thing as the book got a little repetitive, but as I said 5 stars for nailing the genre and its problematic issues. The scary thing is that most of what is written is what is really out there from eye color changing to pulsating manhood to the traitorous body alert.
Melessa
That very day, the virginal beauty had saved four orphans and a puppy from drowning, yet she still took the time to buy the very latest of summer fashion to wear to the party.
*********************
Melessa longed for someone who could master her tempestuous heart. A handsome, strong, handsome, manly-male, who would awaken her secret passion. Who would overcome her shyness with his animalistic hunger and show her the ways of throbbing desire. (And who was also super rich.)
Slade, the Vampire hero and her soul mate is watching her at the ball.
Slade’s pulsating, animal maleness drew the eyes of all the human girls at the Fairway party as he searched for the one woman who could restore his lost soul. Vampires didn’t have souls until they found their Eternal-One, because of some stuff that happened.
Their first clinch...
The waves of desire crashed around her like a storm-tossed ocean of fire. Melessa gasped against the intoxicating heat of his mouth, shocked by the wild hunger of his kiss. In her innocence, she struggled against the sensations threatening to swamp her. But it was no use. Her traitorous body craved this man’s touch, as it never had craved anything else, except maybe a Birkin bag. A sound of need escaped her throat, as he pulled her closer.
********************************
“I cannot tell you of the shocking things I long for.” Melessa wailed.
“Can you give me a hint?”
Five stars for effort and nailing every bad romance/sex trope and also nailing every poorly written, self-published book issue.
The heroine, Melessa, has the novel spelling of her name, her hair transforms from raven black to platinum as her eyes change from blue to violet to plain brown.
Massive loins and heaving breasts are full on. Only three stars for the whole thing as the book got a little repetitive, but as I said 5 stars for nailing the genre and its problematic issues. The scary thing is that most of what is written is what is really out there from eye color changing to pulsating manhood to the traitorous body alert.
Melessa
That very day, the virginal beauty had saved four orphans and a puppy from drowning, yet she still took the time to buy the very latest of summer fashion to wear to the party.
*********************
Melessa longed for someone who could master her tempestuous heart. A handsome, strong, handsome, manly-male, who would awaken her secret passion. Who would overcome her shyness with his animalistic hunger and show her the ways of throbbing desire. (And who was also super rich.)
Slade, the Vampire hero and her soul mate is watching her at the ball.
Slade’s pulsating, animal maleness drew the eyes of all the human girls at the Fairway party as he searched for the one woman who could restore his lost soul. Vampires didn’t have souls until they found their Eternal-One, because of some stuff that happened.
Their first clinch...
The waves of desire crashed around her like a storm-tossed ocean of fire. Melessa gasped against the intoxicating heat of his mouth, shocked by the wild hunger of his kiss. In her innocence, she struggled against the sensations threatening to swamp her. But it was no use. Her traitorous body craved this man’s touch, as it never had craved anything else, except maybe a Birkin bag. A sound of need escaped her throat, as he pulled her closer.
********************************
“I cannot tell you of the shocking things I long for.” Melessa wailed.
“Can you give me a hint?”
May 4, 2020
This novella was a humorous parody of awful romance stories. It was a lot of fun! This novella is actually a spin-off tale from Cassandra Gannon's Not Another Vampire Story novel. This is the awful tale of Eternal Passion at Sunset in all its glory as it would have played out had Karalynn not been sucked into the world and turned the plot on its head. It was as hilariously awful as one might have imagined while listening to Karalynn's lamentations on the awful characters and the plot inconsistency.
We got an epic tale of romance:
Lady Melessa Fairfield dreams of escaping to the 1892 World’s Fair in Chicago, innocently believing that it is her one chance to avoid the arranged marriage to an accountant of her father’s choosing. Yet, she has no idea that evil lurks in the fabled White City, salivating at the thought of destroying her innocent, blonde beauty. A stalking menace consumed with a centuries old vengeance hunts Melessa. Damien, the last of the Wizard Warlocks! Damien knows that the beautiful, innocent Melessa is the destined bride of Slade, king of the noble race of Vampires.
It was a lot of fun. All the characters are hilariously awful and the parody of the overwrought descriptions and plot occurrences were hilarious. We know all the characters in this story ended up with a fate better than this from reading Not Another Vampire Story and Vampire Charming but they appear in this tale at their awful worst. Even at their worst Melessa, Damien, and especially Slade are still super fun characters!
The whole story was a light and hilarious parody that worked super well. It mocked the PNR and YA romance genres mercilessly but did so in a light-hearted way as Gannon is clearly still a fan of both genres despite some of the awful tropes.
I expected Slade to be the star of this book as he is he was the star of the other two books in the series but was shocked that Melessa ended up being the most fun character of the bunch. She was vain, shallow, and vapid but still completely hilarious as she got caught up in her Destiny of being Slade's Eternal One while also fighting off a host of hot villains who would just not let her have the HEA she knew she so badly deserved!
The story had tons of fun moments:
Melessa’s platinum hair bounced against the back of her periwinkle dress, as her lavender gaze surveyed the crimson ballroom. Girls in less expensive, less pretty, needed-them-in-way-larger-sizes gowns were having fun. They laughed up at their beaus and danced, while Melessa gazed sadly out the window. The injustice of it all broke her gentle heart.
Our introduction to Melessa lol. She was as self-absorbed as the worst YA heroines!
Slade thrilled many women with his sexual prowess. Sometimes several at a time. But not tonight. This night, he would accept only his destined queen. With a practiced smile of dismissal, he strode away from the fawning women. His elegant tuxedo hugged his massive body like silk wrapping paper around a lion.
Our introduction to Slade. I've read real YA and PNR books introduce the male lead in a similar fashion, no laughter intended, so many times lol.
Damien, last of the Wizard Warlocks, lurked in the shadows outside the Fairfax ballroom, trying to spot Slade’s Eternal-One. Dressed sort of like Jack the Ripper, only he made the look work, he stealthed around the garden peering in windows. An aura of darkness surrounded him, evil emanating from his forbidding form. It was scary, but also kinda sexy.
Tell me Damien is not every YA villain? Lol!
Soon he would cut out the Vampire’s heart. Figuratively. Slade was too strong to actually cut out his heart. But the woman would metaphorically become Slade’s heart and Damien could then take her for his own. (Not that he wanted to own Slade’s heart in --like-- a romantic way. Just in a “killing him” way. Slade was not his type.)
Damian musing on his diabolical plans for Slade and Melessa. It is like hilarious YA fan fic!
Christine knew Melessa’s impulsive passions so well, which was only to be expected. She didn’t really have anything going for her, except Melessa let her hang out with her at parties.
Our intro to Christine, the best friend who only exists to show us how awesome the lead is lol.
“I would never choose money over true love!” Melessa cried. “Not when I can have both. I know that there’s a handsome man out there, searching for me and feeling the same primal longing I do! …And he’s sure to be spectacularly wealthy.”
At least, he’d better be.
One of my fave Melessa moments. She was just so awesomely awful!
Slade was the most handsome man in the universe, with thick blond hair the color of molten bananas and sapphire blue eyes the color of sapphires. His face was carved like an Adonis made of oak and sparkles. Other men killed themselves trying to capture beads of his manly sweat in little vials and then drink it as an elixir of male potency. If Melessa was a man, she’d look like Slade. That’s how handsome he was. It was like gazing into the sun and also at an elegant wolf.
I've read stuff almost as over the top as this in my real YA and PNR books lol.
Melessa bit back a sob of passion at the possessive handling. He was truly a magnificent specimen of malehood. Yet, her father, the Grand Sultan of Fairmarket, would be appalled that she let a commoner treat her this way. That horrible, horrible thought made this whole situation even hotter.
Tell me this is not a typical YA romance? So funny!
Melessa gasped, taking a frightened step backwards at the unexpected news of his supernatural origins.
“Vampires are real?”
“Yes.” His word sounded really certain.
It must be true!
The big reveal! So funny:)
“I will stop you!” Slade thundered and she could see that he was crafting a brilliant plan to save her. “Run, Melessa!”
Melessa gasped at his bravery. “No, I won’t leave you…” She began, but Slade was already running away.
Oh.
He meant they were both going to run.
Crap.
Not so much parody here but it was Slade being Slade which is always fun:)
“Stop them, faithful bird!” Damien thundered and the raven swooped after Melessa.
Melessa screamed in feminine horror.
Cawing in evil-ness, the raven flew at her head, messing up her blonde hair and getting its germy feet near her perfect face.
Eww! Eww! Eww!
“Get away!” She cried, tripping and falling to the ground. Too delicate to stand up, again, she lay there prettily and called for help. “Slade! Help!”
Ever heroic, Slade rushed back to her side. He waved his arms at the bird, like she had, only much better. When he shooed it away, the heroic plan worked and the raven fled. Slade truly was the best fighter in the world.
That whole scene got quoted just because I found it so bust a gut hilarious.
Every girl should have a wedding day so lovely, knowing she was loved and that the reception would be outrageously beautiful and expensive and the envy of all. It was like a beautiful dream.
Which was why Melessa was so understandably upset when the helpful servant helping her dress, suddenly drugged her, tied her in magically reinforced golden rope, and sold her to Damien for eleven rubies and a fancy feathered hat.
Just a normal YA plot twist lol.
“How could you betray me like this, Polly?” She demanded angrily, fighting her way free of the inescapable ropes. “I am to be a queen!”
“Because I’ve never been ‘Polly,’ you human fool.” Polly revealed with a hissing smile. “In reality, I am a Dragon named Molly!”
Melessa gasped at the exotic name. “Molly? A Dragon? But how?”
Dragons were mercenaries. Untrustworthy and cruel. She should have guessed that Molly was one of that vile race, from her green skin, large wings, and ability to breathe fire. If only she’d had more clues!
Lol! This book was full of fun moments like this:)
“You bastard!” She scampered away from the ferocious beetle, panting for air. “Are you trying to feed me to your giant insect minions?” “That is literally a beetle. An ordinary-sized, harmless, regular…”
Damien trying to be Damien (even in this awful take on his life) while Melessa is being Melessa:)
Their craving for each other was hungry and wild. Rivaling the ferocity of animals, brought together by nature and biology. But --like-- pretty, romantic animals. Not like slugs, or weasels or anything nasty. Their lovers’ touch was primal in its desperate need. Yet also tender, because of the deep feelings at the core of it.
One of my favourite descriptive scenes. Hilarious but also scarily familiar lol.
All in all this was just a super fun parody of bad romance and YA stories. It could have been a little too over the top and crazy but it worked and was an engaging read. Of course, we know both Slade and Damien went on to have a much better future than what played out here thanks to Karalynn stumbling into their world but it was a lot of fun to glimpse how their story would have played out if Kara had never showed up to save everyone!
Rating: 4 stars. I was in the mood for something light and fun and there is no such thing as too many books featuring the awesome Slade!
We got an epic tale of romance:
Lady Melessa Fairfield dreams of escaping to the 1892 World’s Fair in Chicago, innocently believing that it is her one chance to avoid the arranged marriage to an accountant of her father’s choosing. Yet, she has no idea that evil lurks in the fabled White City, salivating at the thought of destroying her innocent, blonde beauty. A stalking menace consumed with a centuries old vengeance hunts Melessa. Damien, the last of the Wizard Warlocks! Damien knows that the beautiful, innocent Melessa is the destined bride of Slade, king of the noble race of Vampires.
It was a lot of fun. All the characters are hilariously awful and the parody of the overwrought descriptions and plot occurrences were hilarious. We know all the characters in this story ended up with a fate better than this from reading Not Another Vampire Story and Vampire Charming but they appear in this tale at their awful worst. Even at their worst Melessa, Damien, and especially Slade are still super fun characters!
The whole story was a light and hilarious parody that worked super well. It mocked the PNR and YA romance genres mercilessly but did so in a light-hearted way as Gannon is clearly still a fan of both genres despite some of the awful tropes.
I expected Slade to be the star of this book as he is he was the star of the other two books in the series but was shocked that Melessa ended up being the most fun character of the bunch. She was vain, shallow, and vapid but still completely hilarious as she got caught up in her Destiny of being Slade's Eternal One while also fighting off a host of hot villains who would just not let her have the HEA she knew she so badly deserved!
The story had tons of fun moments:
Melessa’s platinum hair bounced against the back of her periwinkle dress, as her lavender gaze surveyed the crimson ballroom. Girls in less expensive, less pretty, needed-them-in-way-larger-sizes gowns were having fun. They laughed up at their beaus and danced, while Melessa gazed sadly out the window. The injustice of it all broke her gentle heart.
Our introduction to Melessa lol. She was as self-absorbed as the worst YA heroines!
Slade thrilled many women with his sexual prowess. Sometimes several at a time. But not tonight. This night, he would accept only his destined queen. With a practiced smile of dismissal, he strode away from the fawning women. His elegant tuxedo hugged his massive body like silk wrapping paper around a lion.
Our introduction to Slade. I've read real YA and PNR books introduce the male lead in a similar fashion, no laughter intended, so many times lol.
Damien, last of the Wizard Warlocks, lurked in the shadows outside the Fairfax ballroom, trying to spot Slade’s Eternal-One. Dressed sort of like Jack the Ripper, only he made the look work, he stealthed around the garden peering in windows. An aura of darkness surrounded him, evil emanating from his forbidding form. It was scary, but also kinda sexy.
Tell me Damien is not every YA villain? Lol!
Soon he would cut out the Vampire’s heart. Figuratively. Slade was too strong to actually cut out his heart. But the woman would metaphorically become Slade’s heart and Damien could then take her for his own. (Not that he wanted to own Slade’s heart in --like-- a romantic way. Just in a “killing him” way. Slade was not his type.)
Damian musing on his diabolical plans for Slade and Melessa. It is like hilarious YA fan fic!
Christine knew Melessa’s impulsive passions so well, which was only to be expected. She didn’t really have anything going for her, except Melessa let her hang out with her at parties.
Our intro to Christine, the best friend who only exists to show us how awesome the lead is lol.
“I would never choose money over true love!” Melessa cried. “Not when I can have both. I know that there’s a handsome man out there, searching for me and feeling the same primal longing I do! …And he’s sure to be spectacularly wealthy.”
At least, he’d better be.
One of my fave Melessa moments. She was just so awesomely awful!
Slade was the most handsome man in the universe, with thick blond hair the color of molten bananas and sapphire blue eyes the color of sapphires. His face was carved like an Adonis made of oak and sparkles. Other men killed themselves trying to capture beads of his manly sweat in little vials and then drink it as an elixir of male potency. If Melessa was a man, she’d look like Slade. That’s how handsome he was. It was like gazing into the sun and also at an elegant wolf.
I've read stuff almost as over the top as this in my real YA and PNR books lol.
Melessa bit back a sob of passion at the possessive handling. He was truly a magnificent specimen of malehood. Yet, her father, the Grand Sultan of Fairmarket, would be appalled that she let a commoner treat her this way. That horrible, horrible thought made this whole situation even hotter.
Tell me this is not a typical YA romance? So funny!
Melessa gasped, taking a frightened step backwards at the unexpected news of his supernatural origins.
“Vampires are real?”
“Yes.” His word sounded really certain.
It must be true!
The big reveal! So funny:)
“I will stop you!” Slade thundered and she could see that he was crafting a brilliant plan to save her. “Run, Melessa!”
Melessa gasped at his bravery. “No, I won’t leave you…” She began, but Slade was already running away.
Oh.
He meant they were both going to run.
Crap.
Not so much parody here but it was Slade being Slade which is always fun:)
“Stop them, faithful bird!” Damien thundered and the raven swooped after Melessa.
Melessa screamed in feminine horror.
Cawing in evil-ness, the raven flew at her head, messing up her blonde hair and getting its germy feet near her perfect face.
Eww! Eww! Eww!
“Get away!” She cried, tripping and falling to the ground. Too delicate to stand up, again, she lay there prettily and called for help. “Slade! Help!”
Ever heroic, Slade rushed back to her side. He waved his arms at the bird, like she had, only much better. When he shooed it away, the heroic plan worked and the raven fled. Slade truly was the best fighter in the world.
That whole scene got quoted just because I found it so bust a gut hilarious.
Every girl should have a wedding day so lovely, knowing she was loved and that the reception would be outrageously beautiful and expensive and the envy of all. It was like a beautiful dream.
Which was why Melessa was so understandably upset when the helpful servant helping her dress, suddenly drugged her, tied her in magically reinforced golden rope, and sold her to Damien for eleven rubies and a fancy feathered hat.
Just a normal YA plot twist lol.
“How could you betray me like this, Polly?” She demanded angrily, fighting her way free of the inescapable ropes. “I am to be a queen!”
“Because I’ve never been ‘Polly,’ you human fool.” Polly revealed with a hissing smile. “In reality, I am a Dragon named Molly!”
Melessa gasped at the exotic name. “Molly? A Dragon? But how?”
Dragons were mercenaries. Untrustworthy and cruel. She should have guessed that Molly was one of that vile race, from her green skin, large wings, and ability to breathe fire. If only she’d had more clues!
Lol! This book was full of fun moments like this:)
“You bastard!” She scampered away from the ferocious beetle, panting for air. “Are you trying to feed me to your giant insect minions?” “That is literally a beetle. An ordinary-sized, harmless, regular…”
Damien trying to be Damien (even in this awful take on his life) while Melessa is being Melessa:)
Their craving for each other was hungry and wild. Rivaling the ferocity of animals, brought together by nature and biology. But --like-- pretty, romantic animals. Not like slugs, or weasels or anything nasty. Their lovers’ touch was primal in its desperate need. Yet also tender, because of the deep feelings at the core of it.
One of my favourite descriptive scenes. Hilarious but also scarily familiar lol.
All in all this was just a super fun parody of bad romance and YA stories. It could have been a little too over the top and crazy but it worked and was an engaging read. Of course, we know both Slade and Damien went on to have a much better future than what played out here thanks to Karalynn stumbling into their world but it was a lot of fun to glimpse how their story would have played out if Kara had never showed up to save everyone!
Rating: 4 stars. I was in the mood for something light and fun and there is no such thing as too many books featuring the awesome Slade!
February 29, 2024
First I need to mention how fun and creative it was Cassandra’s idea to write this book. I laughed a lot and I’m so happy about it.
To be an author and purposely write a bad book? Gold.
I love how absolutely everything in this book screams “terrible”. I also loved to see Damien and Slade in this alternate dimension.
I’m giving 4 starts ‘cause it feels kinda illegal to 5 starts this book, but it is a 5 stars in my heart.
To be an author and purposely write a bad book? Gold.
I love how absolutely everything in this book screams “terrible”. I also loved to see Damien and Slade in this alternate dimension.
I’m giving 4 starts ‘cause it feels kinda illegal to 5 starts this book, but it is a 5 stars in my heart.
March 26, 2020
80s' Bodice Ripper mixes with Monty Python and tosses it with a 4th Wall Breaking Villain
This book makes a big claim: it is the worst romance novel in the world. And truly, it is, but it is so delightful in its awfulness. Many of these goofy tropes and plot holes and where in the hell did that character/plot point/item even come from?! issues are still alive and well in the romance genre. Terrible, self absorbed heroines lauded as the most gentle and kind of souls and have inconsistent hair and eye colors? Yup, still there. Vapid, self-absorbed idiot alpha heroes? You betcha. And villains with the most uninspired reasons for carrying out their shallow dastardly deeds? Absolutely. Back stories for characters that change nearly every time they're brought up? Mmhmm. 100% baffling and gross analogies while trying to sound fresh? In spades. These are done to an extreme that makes for very entertaining read.
*The author is very clear that she did not intend to mock romance novels or readers with this but rather just have some super goofy fun. So no need to be saddle sore about it. After experiencing a lot of trope and formula fatigue in SFR in particular, this gave me some good belly laughs that released some of that, "Oh, for fuck's sake!!!" churlishness that's that building up in me. Because most romance novels are nothing if not fun most of the time.*
My favorite character in this was 4th wall breaking villain, Damian. I feel you, baby. I often wonder if that's how the poor villains in a lot of romance novels feel.
If you want a good laugh, this is worth reading on KU. It's short and easy to read. In the future I will definitely check out the duet of books this is a "prequel" of sorts to.
This book makes a big claim: it is the worst romance novel in the world. And truly, it is, but it is so delightful in its awfulness. Many of these goofy tropes and plot holes and where in the hell did that character/plot point/item even come from?! issues are still alive and well in the romance genre. Terrible, self absorbed heroines lauded as the most gentle and kind of souls and have inconsistent hair and eye colors? Yup, still there. Vapid, self-absorbed idiot alpha heroes? You betcha. And villains with the most uninspired reasons for carrying out their shallow dastardly deeds? Absolutely. Back stories for characters that change nearly every time they're brought up? Mmhmm. 100% baffling and gross analogies while trying to sound fresh? In spades. These are done to an extreme that makes for very entertaining read.
*The author is very clear that she did not intend to mock romance novels or readers with this but rather just have some super goofy fun. So no need to be saddle sore about it. After experiencing a lot of trope and formula fatigue in SFR in particular, this gave me some good belly laughs that released some of that, "Oh, for fuck's sake!!!" churlishness that's that building up in me. Because most romance novels are nothing if not fun most of the time.*
My favorite character in this was 4th wall breaking villain, Damian. I feel you, baby. I often wonder if that's how the poor villains in a lot of romance novels feel.
If you want a good laugh, this is worth reading on KU. It's short and easy to read. In the future I will definitely check out the duet of books this is a "prequel" of sorts to.
June 25, 2024
Well, this was gloriously wacky, & I loved every bit of it 🤣🤣🤣 ... so this is basically if Kara wouldn't have shown up, interrupting the script and turning everything upside-down. Please, do yourself a favor & read 📖 Not another Vampire book📖✨️
Y'know, it's one thing for authors to be good and talented at writing, but deliberately writing super bad, creating a parody, is just as talented and speaks for the author 😃
I mean, you can't take the story and its characters seriously. That's not the point here. It's meant to be this cray cray and for the reader to have some no-brainer fun. The comedy was gold!! Just like Slades manly hair ✨️ 😂
The less you take this book serious, the more fun you'll have. So if you need a quick pick-me up or just something to get you out of a reading slumb... this, THIS is the book for that 😁
Y'know, it's one thing for authors to be good and talented at writing, but deliberately writing super bad, creating a parody, is just as talented and speaks for the author 😃
I mean, you can't take the story and its characters seriously. That's not the point here. It's meant to be this cray cray and for the reader to have some no-brainer fun. The comedy was gold!! Just like Slades manly hair ✨️ 😂
The less you take this book serious, the more fun you'll have. So if you need a quick pick-me up or just something to get you out of a reading slumb... this, THIS is the book for that 😁
August 28, 2023
This farce was excellently written. Sometimes things written intentionally funny end up not so. But Cassandra gets the joke here and crafts a masterful bonkers, unhinged, unintelligible plot filled with ridiculous situations and pet names. If you like Parody Movies like Robin Hood Men in tights, this has the same great humor. it was just the book I needed. I haven't read any of Cassandra's previous books but I definitely want to.
May 8, 2020
Gotta admit, I did not expect Cassandra Gannon to give us THIS 😂
Oh, don’t get me wrong, this book wasn’t bad- Well actually it was bad, but it's supposed to be "bad" (it’s right there in the title).
If you're eyeing this book thinking what the heck is this about, please read Not Another Vampire Book by Cassandra Gannon first, it would make so much more sense. I urge you to read her books, I love them!
So basically, Cassandra has totally succeeded it what she set out to do, bringing us a "bad" supernatural romance by taking every cliché in romance/erotica/fantasy and making them even more ridiculous. Ironically, it means my rating is actually good, because the book succeeded in being appropriately ridiculous.
Purposely writing such a book takes skills. Seriously. I applaud Cassandra!
Though part of the reason why I couldn’t fully enjoy the ridiculousness of it all, was because I was feeling so bad for Slade and Demian throughout it all!
It was like watching an alternate universe version of themselves given this horrible script. Which is, eh, exactly the purpose of this book, I know, but all I wanted was for them to be happy with their real mates.
I was half craving for Karalynn to make her appearance and save Damien :’) Or for Slade to come to his senses and leave Melessa what’s her name to find Jane!
Highlight of the book:
Least favorite part of the book:
Anyways, I’m truly thankful for Cassandra for giving us another story by her as we await her next book in The Elemental Phases series (I WANT IT SO BAD). I simply adore this author, and I’m ever so excited for literally anything she writes.
Thank you, Cassandra, you’re amazing!
P.S: I wonder if Cassandra was having fun thinking up all the pet names Slade and Melessa were calling each other. They were so… creative 😂
P.P.S: I love the cover and how much it reflects the whole theme of the novel! From the half naked guy/girl embracing on the cover, to how that cover seems old and well used. Love it.
Last one I promise: I don’t think I’ve ever loved the author’s notes as much as I do in Cassandra Gannon’s books. I absolutely adore her author’s note and I read them like an addict. Seriously, she’s a wonderful author.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, this book wasn’t bad- Well actually it was bad, but it's supposed to be "bad" (it’s right there in the title).
If you're eyeing this book thinking what the heck is this about, please read Not Another Vampire Book by Cassandra Gannon first, it would make so much more sense. I urge you to read her books, I love them!
So basically, Cassandra has totally succeeded it what she set out to do, bringing us a "bad" supernatural romance by taking every cliché in romance/erotica/fantasy and making them even more ridiculous. Ironically, it means my rating is actually good, because the book succeeded in being appropriately ridiculous.
Purposely writing such a book takes skills. Seriously. I applaud Cassandra!
Though part of the reason why I couldn’t fully enjoy the ridiculousness of it all, was because I was feeling so bad for Slade and Demian throughout it all!
It was like watching an alternate universe version of themselves given this horrible script. Which is, eh, exactly the purpose of this book, I know, but all I wanted was for them to be happy with their real mates.
I was half craving for Karalynn to make her appearance and save Damien :’) Or for Slade to come to his senses and leave Melessa what’s her name to find Jane!
Highlight of the book:
Least favorite part of the book:
Anyways, I’m truly thankful for Cassandra for giving us another story by her as we await her next book in The Elemental Phases series (I WANT IT SO BAD). I simply adore this author, and I’m ever so excited for literally anything she writes.
Thank you, Cassandra, you’re amazing!
P.S: I wonder if Cassandra was having fun thinking up all the pet names Slade and Melessa were calling each other. They were so… creative 😂
P.P.S: I love the cover and how much it reflects the whole theme of the novel! From the half naked guy/girl embracing on the cover, to how that cover seems old and well used. Love it.
Last one I promise: I don’t think I’ve ever loved the author’s notes as much as I do in Cassandra Gannon’s books. I absolutely adore her author’s note and I read them like an addict. Seriously, she’s a wonderful author.
April 4, 2020
Lady Melessa and Slade the Vampire King have the kind of love story everyone else envies because they aren't animalistically passionate, outrageously beautiful and innocently good enough to have it. Melessa is a vision with raven-platinum-ginger-black-scarlet hair, and Slade is a sexy platypus of nobility and masculinity. I cried flower petals and wept at least one tear. My teeth constantly gnashed in jealousy of Melessa's effortless superiority, but I also know that no one could be as naturally beautiful in any kind of lighting or as good at color coordination as she. Truly, she deserved Slade with his melted banana golden hair and all the holographic sunshine the Vampire Island could spare.
...
My crops are watered, the sky is clear, my dreams are sweet! The author seems like she had a fun time writing this, and I definitely had a fun time reading it. This is a loving spoof of a certain type of romance, done with humor and appreciation for the genre. A real treat!
Karalynn was totally right though, the book begs for a red pen. I highly recommend reading "Not Another Vampire Book" before this one, otherwise you might have a lot of questions.
...
My crops are watered, the sky is clear, my dreams are sweet! The author seems like she had a fun time writing this, and I definitely had a fun time reading it. This is a loving spoof of a certain type of romance, done with humor and appreciation for the genre. A real treat!
Karalynn was totally right though, the book begs for a red pen. I highly recommend reading "Not Another Vampire Book" before this one, otherwise you might have a lot of questions.
March 22, 2020
This was a scream! Cassandra lovingly pays homage to every bad cliches, awful trope from the romance genre and rolls it into this hilarious tale that had me rolling. If you've read a million romance novels like I have, you must read this.
April 6, 2020
Hilariously, the worst romance novel.
April 11, 2020
A fun book....
...and spot on in its awfulness. It takes a very talented author to write that badly and still make it an enjoyable read.
...and spot on in its awfulness. It takes a very talented author to write that badly and still make it an enjoyable read.
December 26, 2023
Best book I’ve ever read
Not Another Vampire Book was the best book of the year. This is the best book of all time. Don’t listen to Cassandra, Tanya St. Clair is a genius I say.
Not Another Vampire Book was the best book of the year. This is the best book of all time. Don’t listen to Cassandra, Tanya St. Clair is a genius I say.
Read
March 30, 2020TBH it was probably my mood - and confusion?
So ... I get the premise - I think?
And parts were funny;
But then it seems like ... snippets not one put together book?
Because already there were a lot of contradictions and I just don't have the patience for that now.
...
I expect I'll try this some other time/give it another go when the world isn't ... well you know. Suffering from a literal pandemic.
So ... I get the premise - I think?
And parts were funny;
But then it seems like ... snippets not one put together book?
Because already there were a lot of contradictions and I just don't have the patience for that now.
...
I expect I'll try this some other time/give it another go when the world isn't ... well you know. Suffering from a literal pandemic.
March 28, 2024
I could not stop laughing, I absolutely need this book teleported to my bookshelf, and then to a beach, forest, and maybe Saturn - I think it's a hologram actually. I love reading Cassandra Gannon in between my usual reads when I need something fun and to keep me in hooked from page 1.
Yes I know this book technically isn't real but it's just too funny and too bad not to read. Bad in a good way. I will never get over "His steely-steel gaze" ever.
Yes I know this book technically isn't real but it's just too funny and too bad not to read. Bad in a good way. I will never get over "His steely-steel gaze" ever.
October 27, 2024
I think the author had a lot of fun writing this one. It is a parody that hits almost every cliche that you can think of for a paranormal romance. It manages to be both fun and cringy at the same time. Back stories and personal descriptions change. You have to read Not Another Vampire to understand what this book is about.
January 5, 2025
Sooo good
So i just finished kinda fairytale series and needed a quick cleanser. This was hi-larry-a**. Now i need to read the book this book is about. I couldn't keep track of how many times her hair/eye color changed lol. Cassandra really is a well written humorous writer.
So i just finished kinda fairytale series and needed a quick cleanser. This was hi-larry-a**. Now i need to read the book this book is about. I couldn't keep track of how many times her hair/eye color changed lol. Cassandra really is a well written humorous writer.
April 25, 2020
It is what it says
Exactly what you think you're signing up for :)
I enjoyed this though it was different than I was even expecting
Exactly what you think you're signing up for :)
I enjoyed this though it was different than I was even expecting
May 7, 2020
Had a few laughs from this book
dnf
January 15, 2022Eh, DNF at 50%. It had its moments I guess.
August 28, 2025
90+ highlights? I’m a menace.
But this was so funny 😂
But this was so funny 😂
March 25, 2023
This was really funny- it totally lived up to the blurb and the characters are all hilarious tropey- every time you've ever rolled your eyes in a romance novel you'll find yourself laughing at the most exaggerated version of that in this book
October 9, 2023
i mean it’s supposed to be bad?
Idk how to rate this book because it was delivered as promised. It was funny tho so 🤷🏽♀️ ig its cool
Idk how to rate this book because it was delivered as promised. It was funny tho so 🤷🏽♀️ ig its cool
July 13, 2025
Hilariously ridiculous
I spent this book cheering for the bad guy, hating the heroine and loving the hero. Had to read after Not Another Vampire Book and am so glad I did!
I spent this book cheering for the bad guy, hating the heroine and loving the hero. Had to read after Not Another Vampire Book and am so glad I did!
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews