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Stop Taking Sides: How Holding Truths in Tension Saves Us from Anxiety and Outrage
Love and wrath. Sovereignty and responsibility. Victory and suffering. Some of the truths we read in the Bible seem to be in opposition to each other. We naturally tend to gravitate towards a side, but when we lose sight of one truth in order to protect the other, we are in danger of becoming proud, creating division, and diminishing our faith.
In this compelling, inspiring, and at times provocative book, Adam Mabry urges us to stop taking sides and refuse to participate in tribalism by mapping out a way to hold in tension truths that we so often divide over.
You'll discover how our joy and our witness rest on us learning to hold to all that the Scriptures teach and growing in virtue as we do. You'll learn how to wrestle with all that the Scriptures say, to embrace mystery, to listen closely, and to speak with clarity.
In this compelling, inspiring, and at times provocative book, Adam Mabry urges us to stop taking sides and refuse to participate in tribalism by mapping out a way to hold in tension truths that we so often divide over.
You'll discover how our joy and our witness rest on us learning to hold to all that the Scriptures teach and growing in virtue as we do. You'll learn how to wrestle with all that the Scriptures say, to embrace mystery, to listen closely, and to speak with clarity.
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Published September 1, 2020
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About the author
Adam Mabry
11 books41 followersAdam Mabry is Lead Pastor of Aleithia Church Boston, MA, a rapidly-growing downtown church. He is married to Hope and they have four children. Before planting Aleithia, they had planted two churches in Edinburgh, Scotland. Adam did his theological studies at Reformed Theological Seminary and is studying for a PhD at Aberdeen.
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June 25, 2025
Confrontational disagreement, tribalism and outrage are very much the spirit of the age we live in, and so Adam Mabry is very timely in his encouragement to Christians to take a stand against these damaging and ugly tendencies: "the media no longer treat disagreement as an occasion for conversation but for tribal competition, mud- slinging, and point-scoring - and five minutes on any social- media platform will show even the most optimistic of us that the world takes its lead from its media...We're so much better at knowing what we are not, and why "they" are wrong, than we are at listening closely, loving deeply, and being willing to learn from the other."
In the main body of his book, Mabry outlines a number of areas where Christians have these kinds of disagreements and suggests a more edifying approach to each. There are at least two categories for the topics that Mabry highlights. The first are apparently conflicting truths which are both true at the same time (what J I Packer referred to as antinomies, with God's sovereignty and human responsibility as a classic example), and where we can go wrong by emphasising one at the expense of the other. The second category includes issues on which Christians can legitimately disagree but where we can elevate our position, tribe or tradition into being a litmus test of orthodoxy. These could be secondary matters of the faith (such as baptism) or other matters of conscience (such as politics). In each area that Mabry explores through his book, the danger is the same: we stress the rightness of our "side" and the particular emphases we think are important, and prefer to torch the "other side" rather than listening and considering whether we might also have something to learn.
He is clear that this striving for balance does not necessitate an uncertain floppiness, where we are never sure about or take a stand on anything: "I'm not saying Christians should never take sides. To be a Christian is to take that side, and to therefore not be a thousand other things...the fact that our faith contains some key binaries doesn't mean that everything in our faith is similarly binary. Not everything is a hill upon which to die." Neither does he mean that we are always aiming for balance and to hold all things as true at once: "Truth cannot be balanced with lies." Again, it doesn't mean trying to find "some Aristotelian middle way, choosing the best of what both "sides" have to offer and creating our own path. That's just the road to autonomy, and away from biblical authority." Lastly, he is not encouraging us to think "that everyone's right and it doesn't really matter what you think as long as it works for you."
In short, "holding truth in tension not only brings us more into line with God's word, but it frees us from the anxiety and outrage that threaten to destroy us. Taking sides and throwing stones steals joy and decimates virtue."
Finally, he outlines a helpful framework for figuring out where we stand in general, and where we stand on particular issues. This is based on four quadrants of openness, closedness, intuiting and judging: "’Openness’ refers to your degree of acceptance of the new and the other, while ‘Closedness’ describes your degree of firm conviction about truth and morality. "Intuiting" describes your degree of reliance on the promptings of the Spirit, wisdom, and an inner leading, while "Judging" describes your degree of reliance on sound reasoning, facts, and rules." Leaning towards openness means we need to embrace clarity; with closedness, we should embrace listening; for those who are more intuitive, robust argumentation is important; while those who tend towards judging need to make space for mystery and paradox. Mabry's aim in this is to provide us with "the tools that will enable us to stop taking sides, embrace tensions, and for God's sake be free from constant fear, proud tribalism, and sprawling anxiety."
A few memorable quotes will illustrate the balance and nuance that Mabry is aiming for, and encouraging:
On human nature: "A hallmark of truth is its power to explain. Truth corresponds with the world as it is, not merely as we think it should be. This produces a virtue called prudence- seeing yourself and the world rightly. Without understanding humanity properly, we cannot live prudently. The other stories can't fully explain humanity. Believing them, therefore, can only make us live wrongly, producing vice, diminishing human flourishing, and causing us to treat one another inappropriately...We're a tragic mix of imago dei and total depravity. Holding this tension rescues you from utopianism and hedonism, nihilism and cynicism. If you want to treat humans well, you must understand what we humans are. And what we are all, right now, is a mashup of these twin natures. The best person you know is a seat of depravity. The worst person you know is an image-bearer of our Creator."
On "us" versus "them": "Graceless, "drive-by shootings" of Scripture in comments sections or social media neither honour God nor bear fruit. Truth-free "tolerance" doesn't save. Only the exclusive truth of God's inclusive grace in the gospel transforms. It is kind to warn and it is kind to woo...Here is the tension: faithfulness to exclusive gospel truth means embodying inclusive gospel grace. It means removing every barrier other than the gospel... Prophetic truth-telling is not a license for social-media trolling, speaking rudely, or forcing obedience of every nuance of Christian morality through the power of civil authority."
On politics and the kingdom: "To modern readers, the story of Babel induces a chuckle. Who, after all, thinks you can get back to heaven with a brick-built tower? And it is laughable, to be sure. But is that any more laughable than thinking you can bring about utopia through better healthcare or education? Through better technology and prosperity? Through a better military or foreign policy? We're no better than Babel's builders. We just have more advanced bricks...Justice means defending the righteous and condemning the guilty, by advocating for laws reflecting a kingdom morality, and can only result from seeing heaven and earth rightly. If we never look heavenward, we won't know what is right. If we disengage politically, we'll never do what is right...If you feel more commonality with a non-Christian who shares your politics than a Christian who disagrees with them, you have a problem. And if you hold politicians you oppose to a different standard than those you support, then let's call it what it is: unjust hypocrisy."
This is a book that is fit for our culture in the early 21st Century West, and an encouragement to strive after a way that is more gracious, peaceable and God-honouring. "The Bible never asks us to be illogical, believe contradictions, or say that lies are truths. Tensions, on the other hand, are ideas that feel as though they cannot be true at the same time, but are. And the Christian life is found within this tension, not in running to the false security of your preferred side...Will you stand firm where the text demands it, and hold tensions where the text directs it, forging virtue and peace?"
In the main body of his book, Mabry outlines a number of areas where Christians have these kinds of disagreements and suggests a more edifying approach to each. There are at least two categories for the topics that Mabry highlights. The first are apparently conflicting truths which are both true at the same time (what J I Packer referred to as antinomies, with God's sovereignty and human responsibility as a classic example), and where we can go wrong by emphasising one at the expense of the other. The second category includes issues on which Christians can legitimately disagree but where we can elevate our position, tribe or tradition into being a litmus test of orthodoxy. These could be secondary matters of the faith (such as baptism) or other matters of conscience (such as politics). In each area that Mabry explores through his book, the danger is the same: we stress the rightness of our "side" and the particular emphases we think are important, and prefer to torch the "other side" rather than listening and considering whether we might also have something to learn.
He is clear that this striving for balance does not necessitate an uncertain floppiness, where we are never sure about or take a stand on anything: "I'm not saying Christians should never take sides. To be a Christian is to take that side, and to therefore not be a thousand other things...the fact that our faith contains some key binaries doesn't mean that everything in our faith is similarly binary. Not everything is a hill upon which to die." Neither does he mean that we are always aiming for balance and to hold all things as true at once: "Truth cannot be balanced with lies." Again, it doesn't mean trying to find "some Aristotelian middle way, choosing the best of what both "sides" have to offer and creating our own path. That's just the road to autonomy, and away from biblical authority." Lastly, he is not encouraging us to think "that everyone's right and it doesn't really matter what you think as long as it works for you."
In short, "holding truth in tension not only brings us more into line with God's word, but it frees us from the anxiety and outrage that threaten to destroy us. Taking sides and throwing stones steals joy and decimates virtue."
Finally, he outlines a helpful framework for figuring out where we stand in general, and where we stand on particular issues. This is based on four quadrants of openness, closedness, intuiting and judging: "’Openness’ refers to your degree of acceptance of the new and the other, while ‘Closedness’ describes your degree of firm conviction about truth and morality. "Intuiting" describes your degree of reliance on the promptings of the Spirit, wisdom, and an inner leading, while "Judging" describes your degree of reliance on sound reasoning, facts, and rules." Leaning towards openness means we need to embrace clarity; with closedness, we should embrace listening; for those who are more intuitive, robust argumentation is important; while those who tend towards judging need to make space for mystery and paradox. Mabry's aim in this is to provide us with "the tools that will enable us to stop taking sides, embrace tensions, and for God's sake be free from constant fear, proud tribalism, and sprawling anxiety."
A few memorable quotes will illustrate the balance and nuance that Mabry is aiming for, and encouraging:
On human nature: "A hallmark of truth is its power to explain. Truth corresponds with the world as it is, not merely as we think it should be. This produces a virtue called prudence- seeing yourself and the world rightly. Without understanding humanity properly, we cannot live prudently. The other stories can't fully explain humanity. Believing them, therefore, can only make us live wrongly, producing vice, diminishing human flourishing, and causing us to treat one another inappropriately...We're a tragic mix of imago dei and total depravity. Holding this tension rescues you from utopianism and hedonism, nihilism and cynicism. If you want to treat humans well, you must understand what we humans are. And what we are all, right now, is a mashup of these twin natures. The best person you know is a seat of depravity. The worst person you know is an image-bearer of our Creator."
On "us" versus "them": "Graceless, "drive-by shootings" of Scripture in comments sections or social media neither honour God nor bear fruit. Truth-free "tolerance" doesn't save. Only the exclusive truth of God's inclusive grace in the gospel transforms. It is kind to warn and it is kind to woo...Here is the tension: faithfulness to exclusive gospel truth means embodying inclusive gospel grace. It means removing every barrier other than the gospel... Prophetic truth-telling is not a license for social-media trolling, speaking rudely, or forcing obedience of every nuance of Christian morality through the power of civil authority."
On politics and the kingdom: "To modern readers, the story of Babel induces a chuckle. Who, after all, thinks you can get back to heaven with a brick-built tower? And it is laughable, to be sure. But is that any more laughable than thinking you can bring about utopia through better healthcare or education? Through better technology and prosperity? Through a better military or foreign policy? We're no better than Babel's builders. We just have more advanced bricks...Justice means defending the righteous and condemning the guilty, by advocating for laws reflecting a kingdom morality, and can only result from seeing heaven and earth rightly. If we never look heavenward, we won't know what is right. If we disengage politically, we'll never do what is right...If you feel more commonality with a non-Christian who shares your politics than a Christian who disagrees with them, you have a problem. And if you hold politicians you oppose to a different standard than those you support, then let's call it what it is: unjust hypocrisy."
This is a book that is fit for our culture in the early 21st Century West, and an encouragement to strive after a way that is more gracious, peaceable and God-honouring. "The Bible never asks us to be illogical, believe contradictions, or say that lies are truths. Tensions, on the other hand, are ideas that feel as though they cannot be true at the same time, but are. And the Christian life is found within this tension, not in running to the false security of your preferred side...Will you stand firm where the text demands it, and hold tensions where the text directs it, forging virtue and peace?"
August 13, 2020
I find myself in the unusual position of agreeing almost entirely with the theology of this book, but having some problems with the delivery and other content.
There are two slightly similar, but not identical, ideas in this book that have been mixed together. They are 1) Holding tensions such as God's sovereignty vs mankind's free will and 2) Secondary disagreements between Christians that we shouldn't let divide us. These are quite different things and I'm not 100% sure they both belong in the book. Issue 1 isn't really about 'taking sides' whereas issue 2 is. Issue 2 isn't about tensions, it's about disagreement. These two issues become a bit muddled in the book.
I wouldn't want to ascribe motives to the author, but I found his summaries of certain worldviews and dismissal of certain causes to be inaccurate and unkind. As an example, in discussing postmodernism, the author touches on ideas of 'privilege, power, and oppression', then offers the argument: 'If words are just tools that the powerful use for oppression, then so are the words of the postmodernists'.
No postmodernists ever claimed that all words are oppressive. They might object to certain words though. This apparent contradiction offered by the author is actually a nonsense that misrepresents postmodernism. Don't get me wrong, I'm no postmodernist, but using straw men to further an argument is dishonest and cruel, and wins no hearts. Perhaps some further research is needed here.
There are brilliant sections here. I felt very rebuked by the chapter on Scripture, Spirit, and Tradition, and I dont know anyone who wouldn't benefit from the chapter on I vs We.
Many excellent ideas, but steeped in inaccurate portrayals of worldviews and slightly muddled topics.
There are two slightly similar, but not identical, ideas in this book that have been mixed together. They are 1) Holding tensions such as God's sovereignty vs mankind's free will and 2) Secondary disagreements between Christians that we shouldn't let divide us. These are quite different things and I'm not 100% sure they both belong in the book. Issue 1 isn't really about 'taking sides' whereas issue 2 is. Issue 2 isn't about tensions, it's about disagreement. These two issues become a bit muddled in the book.
I wouldn't want to ascribe motives to the author, but I found his summaries of certain worldviews and dismissal of certain causes to be inaccurate and unkind. As an example, in discussing postmodernism, the author touches on ideas of 'privilege, power, and oppression', then offers the argument: 'If words are just tools that the powerful use for oppression, then so are the words of the postmodernists'.
No postmodernists ever claimed that all words are oppressive. They might object to certain words though. This apparent contradiction offered by the author is actually a nonsense that misrepresents postmodernism. Don't get me wrong, I'm no postmodernist, but using straw men to further an argument is dishonest and cruel, and wins no hearts. Perhaps some further research is needed here.
There are brilliant sections here. I felt very rebuked by the chapter on Scripture, Spirit, and Tradition, and I dont know anyone who wouldn't benefit from the chapter on I vs We.
Many excellent ideas, but steeped in inaccurate portrayals of worldviews and slightly muddled topics.
October 4, 2020
Challenging, timely, & accessible, this is a book I’ll return to again & again.
A few poignant quotes:
"We're a tragic mix of imago dei and total depravity. Holding this tension rescues you from utopianism and hedonism, nihilism and cynicism. If you want to treat humans well, you must understand what we humans are. And what we are all, right now, is a mashup of these twin natures. The best person you know is a seat of depravity. The worst person you know is an image-bearer of our Creator."
"We must test ourselves by asking, 'Is my political activity marked by good spiritual fruit?' The Spirit will produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, fruitfulness, gentleness, and self-control. If such fruit isn't present, the Spirit probably isn't either."
"If you feel more commonality with a non-Christian who shares your politics than a Christian who disagrees with them, you have a problem."
A few poignant quotes:
"We're a tragic mix of imago dei and total depravity. Holding this tension rescues you from utopianism and hedonism, nihilism and cynicism. If you want to treat humans well, you must understand what we humans are. And what we are all, right now, is a mashup of these twin natures. The best person you know is a seat of depravity. The worst person you know is an image-bearer of our Creator."
"We must test ourselves by asking, 'Is my political activity marked by good spiritual fruit?' The Spirit will produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, fruitfulness, gentleness, and self-control. If such fruit isn't present, the Spirit probably isn't either."
"If you feel more commonality with a non-Christian who shares your politics than a Christian who disagrees with them, you have a problem."
August 5, 2021
If Christians hold ideologies whose origins are from something other that the Bible (i.e. political parties, philosophers, media sources, etc.), it will cause conflicts with others and potentially within themselves. Mabry does a good job of explaining the conflicts that Christians can potentially experience and offers a Biblical response. Additionally, he shows how understanding the relationship between the 3 persons of the Trinity should help Christians understand how they should seek to relate to each other.
November 20, 2020
This is a really great book that addresses the tensions of today and the tensions in our hearts. Stop Taking Sides leads you to look inwards before proclaiming the wrongs, that we may each see differently, outwards.
September 17, 2020
Adam Mabry begins this book with an anecdote about church members from opposite ends of the political spectrum who separately criticized him for the same sermon, incensed that he had not taken their side. He found this absurd, funny, and infuriating, and writes in this book about how vital it is for Christians to seek unity instead of demanding that their pastors and church communities espouse all of their political views. Even though he honors the role of politics in its proper place, he emphasizes how vital it is for Christians to listen to other viewpoints and learn to hold different truths in tension instead of camping out in a specific political or theological tribe and vilifying everyone else.
Theology Debates, Not Politics
This book initially sounds politically focused, and includes many different references to politics, but it focuses more on theological beliefs. Each chapter addresses a specific tension between different truths, such as God’s sovereignty and our responsibility, and even though this provides a model for how Christians can seek truth and hold a balanced view, only a few of the chapters specifically address politics. The chapter that contrasts individualism versus collectivism is particularly good, engaging with the positive and negative elements of both, but it is one of the only chapters that delves into current political conflict. For the most part, this book deals with theological views, showing how even though people tend to choose to camp out with their preferred element, we need to hold issues like God’s love and wrath in tension, since the Bible explicitly teaches both.
This book’s content can be very helpful, but even though it is important for Christians to step back from side-taking and hold biblical truths in tension, this model is only marginally helpful for evaluating different political ideologies. There are some political views and ideas that people can hold in tension, but many are mutually exclusive, and others are so flawed that even though they might have policy-based merit, we would not hold them as intangible truths. Christians can hold seemingly contrasting biblical teachings in tension, since both views come from God’s revealed Word, but it is a different matter entirely to deal with ideological and conscience-based political leanings and policy issues.
Conclusion
This book encourages Christians to seek unity, refuse the comfort and ease of partisanship, and live in the tension between different beliefs. This is all admirable, and I appreciate the book’s strong message against our outrage society, but this book does not live up to its title. Also, even though skeptics and people outside the church might be interested in a book like this, the heavy focus on theological debates will be irrelevant them and their personal backgrounds. Even though this book makes some great points and has a stirring, much-needed message, I would only recommend this to Christian audiences, and would give the clear caveat that even though this book will encourage them in humility and unity, it will not help them resolve their pressing political dilemmas.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Theology Debates, Not Politics
This book initially sounds politically focused, and includes many different references to politics, but it focuses more on theological beliefs. Each chapter addresses a specific tension between different truths, such as God’s sovereignty and our responsibility, and even though this provides a model for how Christians can seek truth and hold a balanced view, only a few of the chapters specifically address politics. The chapter that contrasts individualism versus collectivism is particularly good, engaging with the positive and negative elements of both, but it is one of the only chapters that delves into current political conflict. For the most part, this book deals with theological views, showing how even though people tend to choose to camp out with their preferred element, we need to hold issues like God’s love and wrath in tension, since the Bible explicitly teaches both.
This book’s content can be very helpful, but even though it is important for Christians to step back from side-taking and hold biblical truths in tension, this model is only marginally helpful for evaluating different political ideologies. There are some political views and ideas that people can hold in tension, but many are mutually exclusive, and others are so flawed that even though they might have policy-based merit, we would not hold them as intangible truths. Christians can hold seemingly contrasting biblical teachings in tension, since both views come from God’s revealed Word, but it is a different matter entirely to deal with ideological and conscience-based political leanings and policy issues.
Conclusion
This book encourages Christians to seek unity, refuse the comfort and ease of partisanship, and live in the tension between different beliefs. This is all admirable, and I appreciate the book’s strong message against our outrage society, but this book does not live up to its title. Also, even though skeptics and people outside the church might be interested in a book like this, the heavy focus on theological debates will be irrelevant them and their personal backgrounds. Even though this book makes some great points and has a stirring, much-needed message, I would only recommend this to Christian audiences, and would give the clear caveat that even though this book will encourage them in humility and unity, it will not help them resolve their pressing political dilemmas.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
September 15, 2020
Our world is divided. It seems that we all fall into one of two categories: “us” and “them.” And for those of us who are Christians, we can see this type of thinking pitting us against our own brothers and sisters of the faith. In Stop Taking Sides, Adam Mabry shows us how holding truths in tension saves us from anxiety and outrage.
Embrace the Tension
In less than 200 pages, Mabry writes warnings for those of us who have drawn lines where God has not. And he gives hope for unity and uninhibited love. To be sure, Mabry begins the book by stating that there are some truths we cannot compromise on. These include God is God, God creates, Jesus is Lord, and we are saved by faith - not works.
He then takes us through 9 pairs of truths, showing how we can embrace the tension, grow in virtue, and gain a fuller experience of the Christian life. Topics include: divine sovereignty and human responsibility, the paradoxical Christian life of victory of suffering, and our God is a God of love and wrath. Mabry uses both personal examples and Scripture texts to prove his points.
Theological Concepts and Divine Realities
I was most challenged by Chapter 8: Strong and Weak. Mabry admits that he has a strong personality, and he makes this bold statement (warning: language) – “Turns out that holiness and assholey-ness aren’t quite the same thing.” He points us to Jesus and meekness, and I again must repent of my sinful words, attitudes, and actions that stem from my pride and (wrongful) sense of power.
The book ends with an excellent example of how God is both I and We. This demonstrates the individuality and unity of the Trinity. Mabry is quick to point out how this theological concept and divine reality should impact our family life, political preferences, and church community.
Convicted and Challenged
This book was a difficult read for me – not because it was poorly written, but because it was written so well. I was convicted and challenged. I tend to see things in black and white, I make my own boundaries, and I wall myself in. But this book shows me a better way: let go of our tribes and cling to Christ. Love and justice meet at the cross. And I think that’s where I’ll put my stake in the ground as well.
I received a media copy of Stop Taking Sides and this is my honest review.
Embrace the Tension
In less than 200 pages, Mabry writes warnings for those of us who have drawn lines where God has not. And he gives hope for unity and uninhibited love. To be sure, Mabry begins the book by stating that there are some truths we cannot compromise on. These include God is God, God creates, Jesus is Lord, and we are saved by faith - not works.
He then takes us through 9 pairs of truths, showing how we can embrace the tension, grow in virtue, and gain a fuller experience of the Christian life. Topics include: divine sovereignty and human responsibility, the paradoxical Christian life of victory of suffering, and our God is a God of love and wrath. Mabry uses both personal examples and Scripture texts to prove his points.
Theological Concepts and Divine Realities
I was most challenged by Chapter 8: Strong and Weak. Mabry admits that he has a strong personality, and he makes this bold statement (warning: language) – “Turns out that holiness and assholey-ness aren’t quite the same thing.” He points us to Jesus and meekness, and I again must repent of my sinful words, attitudes, and actions that stem from my pride and (wrongful) sense of power.
The book ends with an excellent example of how God is both I and We. This demonstrates the individuality and unity of the Trinity. Mabry is quick to point out how this theological concept and divine reality should impact our family life, political preferences, and church community.
Convicted and Challenged
This book was a difficult read for me – not because it was poorly written, but because it was written so well. I was convicted and challenged. I tend to see things in black and white, I make my own boundaries, and I wall myself in. But this book shows me a better way: let go of our tribes and cling to Christ. Love and justice meet at the cross. And I think that’s where I’ll put my stake in the ground as well.
I received a media copy of Stop Taking Sides and this is my honest review.
September 1, 2020
There are some things in the Bible that make us scratch our heads. Sometimes things can seem to be opposites, for examples love and wrath, and yet when we search Scripture we find that they aren’t opposites. Instead, they are two things, two truths that we must hold in tension. How is it possible for Christians to hold the tension between theological truths? Let me introduce you to a book…
In Stop Taking Sides; how holding truths in tension saves us from anxiety and outrage Adam Mabry nine areas in which he sees tenions that Christian must hold in balance. In some of these areas, swinging one way could lead to people having an unloving attitude and elitism and swinging the other could lead to softening the gospel and incorrect theology. Here are the 9 areas…
Sovereignty and Responsibility
Divine imagers and Deeply Flawed
Word and Spirit and Tradition
Us and Them
Victory and Suffering
Love and Wrath
Politics and Kingdom
Strong and Weak
I and We
Reading that list might immediately make you want to go on the defensive and argue. Trust me, I had a number of questions to begin with too. But I will say that this book is a good introduction for people who are wanting to wrestle with some of the big issues in the Christian faith.
I don’t agree with everything this book says, but I do think that it could be a helpful tool for many people. Read the full review at; https://achalmersblog.com/2020/09/01/...
In Stop Taking Sides; how holding truths in tension saves us from anxiety and outrage Adam Mabry nine areas in which he sees tenions that Christian must hold in balance. In some of these areas, swinging one way could lead to people having an unloving attitude and elitism and swinging the other could lead to softening the gospel and incorrect theology. Here are the 9 areas…
Sovereignty and Responsibility
Divine imagers and Deeply Flawed
Word and Spirit and Tradition
Us and Them
Victory and Suffering
Love and Wrath
Politics and Kingdom
Strong and Weak
I and We
Reading that list might immediately make you want to go on the defensive and argue. Trust me, I had a number of questions to begin with too. But I will say that this book is a good introduction for people who are wanting to wrestle with some of the big issues in the Christian faith.
I don’t agree with everything this book says, but I do think that it could be a helpful tool for many people. Read the full review at; https://achalmersblog.com/2020/09/01/...
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 1, 2020
This book was stretching for me. I am one who likes to know different positions and views on truths from scripture, but often feel ill-equipped to argue or debate a position. That's why I was interested in this book about holding truths in tension.
The author did a good job pulling out the main tenets and presenting ways to hold truths in a middle ground. He also fought for how to take tensions and choose unity. His explanations were beyond what I normally think through, but he explains well, uses examples, and scripture well, and argues more for unity than anything else. I was surprised by the tensions he chose to highlight but while they surprised me, he selected areas I would not have recognized as tensions, but they truly are.
Throughout each chapter, he built a model and used illustrations/data to help the reader see the tensions or perspectives and reach another type of learner. Making this a quality book.
Thankful to partner with thegoodbook company and read an early release of this book.
The author did a good job pulling out the main tenets and presenting ways to hold truths in a middle ground. He also fought for how to take tensions and choose unity. His explanations were beyond what I normally think through, but he explains well, uses examples, and scripture well, and argues more for unity than anything else. I was surprised by the tensions he chose to highlight but while they surprised me, he selected areas I would not have recognized as tensions, but they truly are.
Throughout each chapter, he built a model and used illustrations/data to help the reader see the tensions or perspectives and reach another type of learner. Making this a quality book.
Thankful to partner with thegoodbook company and read an early release of this book.
December 5, 2023
4.5
Adam Mabry has tapped into two of the most troubling trends of Christianity, our need for certainty in all things and our intolerance for other truly orthodox believers who have different perspectives (not only theologically but even just politically)
The book doesn't have many quotable quotes or beautiful prose but sentence after sentence Mabry is beating out a gospel rhythm. The author doesn't fall into the trap of pretending to be unbiased or putting his thumb on the scale of correctness. Each chapter is on a new subject and each represents an issue that is lived out in our churches and chatrooms every day.
This is not a beautiful book, and it will not be a classic read 100 years from now, but I marveled as I read it how pitch-perfect Stop Taking Sides is, and I would recommend it to any Christian who is troubled or frustrated with the state of Christian discourse or why others don't fall in line with their particular beliefs.
Adam Mabry has tapped into two of the most troubling trends of Christianity, our need for certainty in all things and our intolerance for other truly orthodox believers who have different perspectives (not only theologically but even just politically)
The book doesn't have many quotable quotes or beautiful prose but sentence after sentence Mabry is beating out a gospel rhythm. The author doesn't fall into the trap of pretending to be unbiased or putting his thumb on the scale of correctness. Each chapter is on a new subject and each represents an issue that is lived out in our churches and chatrooms every day.
This is not a beautiful book, and it will not be a classic read 100 years from now, but I marveled as I read it how pitch-perfect Stop Taking Sides is, and I would recommend it to any Christian who is troubled or frustrated with the state of Christian discourse or why others don't fall in line with their particular beliefs.
May 12, 2025
This is an excellent book. The author gives a fair account of both sides of the issues he highlights to show that both extremes fall short of the glory of God, that the biblical answer is not either/or but both/and, even when our mortal brains can't quite grasp it.
I took away a star due to a linguistically clever but crude pun on page 149. While Mabry might well be correct in asserting that the term in question falls under the same category as the beer in chapter 4, "Us and Them," I would prefer that he defer to the weaker brother in this case. Those who don't mind scatology wouldn't notice its absence, but those who do will cavil at its presence.
I took away a star due to a linguistically clever but crude pun on page 149. While Mabry might well be correct in asserting that the term in question falls under the same category as the beer in chapter 4, "Us and Them," I would prefer that he defer to the weaker brother in this case. Those who don't mind scatology wouldn't notice its absence, but those who do will cavil at its presence.
March 13, 2021
I love the concept of this book more than the book itself. Orthodoxy (and thus orthopraxy) is not a matter of finding balance, but holding the tension between what appear at first to be competing truths. The tension is where virtue is found. Brilliant. Worth a read for sure.
April 11, 2024
Quite simply, this is the best cultural analysis I’ve found regarding our massive polarization problem. Written with the acumen of a scholar and the heart of a pastor. And unlike most books in this space, he moves beyond describing the problem to offering meaningful solutions. Highly recommend.
June 8, 2021
This is a must read in our divisive age. Holding truths in tension is difficult but it's where virtue is formed.
March 18, 2022
### Book in one sentence
The Bible has a number of Tensions in it - but they do not undermine the legitimacy of each of them, and learning to accept them will make you a better Christian
### The Five Big Ideas / What Stood Out
1. If the need to be right make me into a jerk, then people won’t want to hear anything I have to say (p. 19)
2. “Few things are as unhealthy to our souls as constant success, riches, glory and fame” (p. 105)
3. Our capacity for anger reveals our concern for rightness, justice and fairness (p. 117)
4. Love others enough to disagree. Humbly, gently, but firmly (p. 123) “I love you even while I oppose your view and way of life” (p. 122)
5. If we believe we can build our way to heaven on earth or ‘utopia’, we are no better than Babel’s builders. We just have more advanced bricks. (p. 139)
### Key Takeaway for me and my life
I need to listen more openly, remembering that love believes and hopes in all things.
The Bible has a number of Tensions in it - but they do not undermine the legitimacy of each of them, and learning to accept them will make you a better Christian
### The Five Big Ideas / What Stood Out
1. If the need to be right make me into a jerk, then people won’t want to hear anything I have to say (p. 19)
2. “Few things are as unhealthy to our souls as constant success, riches, glory and fame” (p. 105)
3. Our capacity for anger reveals our concern for rightness, justice and fairness (p. 117)
4. Love others enough to disagree. Humbly, gently, but firmly (p. 123) “I love you even while I oppose your view and way of life” (p. 122)
5. If we believe we can build our way to heaven on earth or ‘utopia’, we are no better than Babel’s builders. We just have more advanced bricks. (p. 139)
### Key Takeaway for me and my life
I need to listen more openly, remembering that love believes and hopes in all things.
June 19, 2022
‘I’m here to simply say this: if we care more about being right about Jesus than following the way of Jesus, it won’t matter that we’re right about Jesus…the Bible’s strategy isn’t to explain God systematically but to confront us with truth in tension - to show us that paradox and mystery aren’t bugs but features we must learn to lean into and not hide from.’ (20)
Reading the blurb of this book and seeing the word ‘tension’, I had to buy it (incidentally, for £1 on some online Christian bookshop crazy sale).
Every time I’ve preached over the last year or so, tension rears it’s head like a familiar, albeit slightly annoying, old friend. There seems to be this sweet spot, desirous place where I long to sit - not abandoning truth and my *obviously* very well thought out opinions, but holding ends of spectrums that we’ve been taught should never meet.
Adam Mabry courageously looks at:
Sovereignty and Responsibility
Divine Imagers and Deeply Flawed
Word and Spirit and Tradition
Us and Them
Victory and Suffering
Love and Wrath
Politics and Kingdom
Strong and Weak
I and We
With themes that could be considered jarring, Adam successfully explores what it looks like to abandon our tribalistic tendencies and more comfortably sit with an interesting kind of reconciliation.
Why 4 stars? I think it’s a bit of an impossible task to write completely objectively on embracing tension and middle ground when we are indeed only human, and Adam has his own tribes he clearly sits within (don’t we all?). There were moments when some of his own preferences were pretty clear and endorsement was made towards a preferred view.
Still loved it though! Thoroughly recommend. If you want to delve deeper into embracing it all, particularly within our worship, tribalism, and traditions, I’d highly recommend Andrew Wilson’s book - ‘Spirit and Sacrament: an Invitation to Eucharismatic Worship’.
Fave quote from this book was the defining of tension:
(On sovereignty and responsibility both being true)…
‘“But that’s a contradiction!” we may say.
No, it’s not. It’s a tension. A contradiction would be something like “You are responsible and not responsible.” Or “God is in control, but He’s lost control.” Logic is built on the bedrock of the law of non-contradiction, teaching us that a thing cannot be itself and its negation at the same time, under the same circumstances. That’s why you’ve never seen a married bachelor or found the corner of a circle. The Bible never asks us to be illogical, believe contradictions, or say that lies are truths. Tensions, on the other hand, are ideas that feel as though they cannot be true at the same time, but are.
And the Christian life is found within this tension, not in running to the false security of your preferred side.’ (26)
Reading the blurb of this book and seeing the word ‘tension’, I had to buy it (incidentally, for £1 on some online Christian bookshop crazy sale).
Every time I’ve preached over the last year or so, tension rears it’s head like a familiar, albeit slightly annoying, old friend. There seems to be this sweet spot, desirous place where I long to sit - not abandoning truth and my *obviously* very well thought out opinions, but holding ends of spectrums that we’ve been taught should never meet.
Adam Mabry courageously looks at:
Sovereignty and Responsibility
Divine Imagers and Deeply Flawed
Word and Spirit and Tradition
Us and Them
Victory and Suffering
Love and Wrath
Politics and Kingdom
Strong and Weak
I and We
With themes that could be considered jarring, Adam successfully explores what it looks like to abandon our tribalistic tendencies and more comfortably sit with an interesting kind of reconciliation.
Why 4 stars? I think it’s a bit of an impossible task to write completely objectively on embracing tension and middle ground when we are indeed only human, and Adam has his own tribes he clearly sits within (don’t we all?). There were moments when some of his own preferences were pretty clear and endorsement was made towards a preferred view.
Still loved it though! Thoroughly recommend. If you want to delve deeper into embracing it all, particularly within our worship, tribalism, and traditions, I’d highly recommend Andrew Wilson’s book - ‘Spirit and Sacrament: an Invitation to Eucharismatic Worship’.
Fave quote from this book was the defining of tension:
(On sovereignty and responsibility both being true)…
‘“But that’s a contradiction!” we may say.
No, it’s not. It’s a tension. A contradiction would be something like “You are responsible and not responsible.” Or “God is in control, but He’s lost control.” Logic is built on the bedrock of the law of non-contradiction, teaching us that a thing cannot be itself and its negation at the same time, under the same circumstances. That’s why you’ve never seen a married bachelor or found the corner of a circle. The Bible never asks us to be illogical, believe contradictions, or say that lies are truths. Tensions, on the other hand, are ideas that feel as though they cannot be true at the same time, but are.
And the Christian life is found within this tension, not in running to the false security of your preferred side.’ (26)
October 11, 2020
It’s safe to say we are all very passionate about positions we hold and sides we support, but how could our lives, our church, our neighborhoods, our nation, our world benefit for God’s glory if instead we embraced the unifying tension between two seemingly opposing views?
“Tribalistic anxiety is lodged deep in our hearts, and it tears us apart” (186).
In “Stop Taking Sides,” Adam Mabry gives us 9 areas where Christians tend to loudly pick a side: God’s sovereignty OR man’s responsibility, us OR them, politics OR kingdom, victory OR suffering, etc. Mabry shows the reader that the ‘OR’ can (and biblically should) really be replaced with an ‘AND’ instead.
I think Mabry’s book is very needed for not only the culture that we live in, but for loving fellow believers well. Mabry’s point is timely as 2020 has exposed our tendencies to prop up politics over kingdom and to weaken the weak to strengthen the already strong. I think you would be helped by reading this book as he does give biblical backing how Jesus holds each depicted side in perfect tension, and how God’s word speaks to both sides of the same coin.
Personally, I found the book could have been a bit shorter and more too the point than it ended up being. I was a little disappointed with multiple missing words, confusing negatives strung in a row (none, not, never, dont), a distracting amount of alliteration, and lack of clarity in some parts. There were three particular places I was uncomfortable with his language choice and phrasing as it was unnecessary and unhelpful.
Overall, I do think this is a good book to help examine oneself in the areas Mabry elaborates as we are all prone to choosing sides. I think we can work to see that for many facets of the Christian life, it’s not EITHER/OR but really a BOTH/AND.
“Tribalistic anxiety is lodged deep in our hearts, and it tears us apart” (186).
In “Stop Taking Sides,” Adam Mabry gives us 9 areas where Christians tend to loudly pick a side: God’s sovereignty OR man’s responsibility, us OR them, politics OR kingdom, victory OR suffering, etc. Mabry shows the reader that the ‘OR’ can (and biblically should) really be replaced with an ‘AND’ instead.
I think Mabry’s book is very needed for not only the culture that we live in, but for loving fellow believers well. Mabry’s point is timely as 2020 has exposed our tendencies to prop up politics over kingdom and to weaken the weak to strengthen the already strong. I think you would be helped by reading this book as he does give biblical backing how Jesus holds each depicted side in perfect tension, and how God’s word speaks to both sides of the same coin.
Personally, I found the book could have been a bit shorter and more too the point than it ended up being. I was a little disappointed with multiple missing words, confusing negatives strung in a row (none, not, never, dont), a distracting amount of alliteration, and lack of clarity in some parts. There were three particular places I was uncomfortable with his language choice and phrasing as it was unnecessary and unhelpful.
Overall, I do think this is a good book to help examine oneself in the areas Mabry elaborates as we are all prone to choosing sides. I think we can work to see that for many facets of the Christian life, it’s not EITHER/OR but really a BOTH/AND.
December 6, 2022
Helpful short book addressing the call for us to hold truths in tension not divide and go to war over them. Found the chapters on strong and weak and I and we particularly helpful.
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