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Unspoken: Toxic Masculinity and How I Faced the Man Within the Man
Men are bold. Men are brave. Men are strong in the face of fear. But what happens when that strength crumbles? Growing up on a council estate in East London, rapper Guvna B thought he knew everything he needed to know about what it means to be a man. But when a personal tragedy sent him reeling, he knew he had to face these assumptions head on if he was going to be able to overcome his grief. In this intimate, honest and unflinching memoir, Guvna B draws on his personal experiences to explore how toxic masculinity affects young men today. Exploring ideas of male identity, UNSPOKEN is an inspirational account of Guvna’s journey.
288 pages, Paperback
Published March 16, 2021
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235 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
August 16, 2023
An inspirational and down-to-earth autobiography and an extremely rare and frank exploration of toxic masculinity and the role of the patriarchy within it. Fascinating, well researched and compelling, this book gets the balance right between biographical aspects and wider male societal issues, including how these problems and prejudices affect how women are often treated. A captivating surprise of a book that I couldn't have predicted coming from a public figure like Guvna B.
February 12, 2021
I was sent a sampler of this book by Harper Inspire that was 177 pages long, so my review will be about the 10 chapters I read. I'll definitely be obtaining a finished copy!
Unspoken focuses on how Guvna B dealt with - and continues to deal with - grief following the death of his father, and the ways in which grief can manifest within relationships with friends, family and partners. He discusses the way that men, in particular Black men, are conditioned by society to keep their emotions 'in check' and uphold a strong exterior, and how he eventually learned to express his emotions through his music.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading about how important a part faith played in his life when it came to creating music and dealing with his grief. He writes a chapter about lamenting and this feeling of faith wavering which really spoke to me and got me emotional. I genuinely will be buying a finished copy, because I love hearing what Guvna B has to say.
Content warnings: death of a parent, death of a friend, suicidal thoughts, discussions of racism, mental health discussions, depression.
Thank you to Harper Inspire and Guvna B for providing me with a sampler in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
Unspoken focuses on how Guvna B dealt with - and continues to deal with - grief following the death of his father, and the ways in which grief can manifest within relationships with friends, family and partners. He discusses the way that men, in particular Black men, are conditioned by society to keep their emotions 'in check' and uphold a strong exterior, and how he eventually learned to express his emotions through his music.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading about how important a part faith played in his life when it came to creating music and dealing with his grief. He writes a chapter about lamenting and this feeling of faith wavering which really spoke to me and got me emotional. I genuinely will be buying a finished copy, because I love hearing what Guvna B has to say.
Content warnings: death of a parent, death of a friend, suicidal thoughts, discussions of racism, mental health discussions, depression.
Thank you to Harper Inspire and Guvna B for providing me with a sampler in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.
March 19, 2021
I had to stop myself from viewing this book as any other work of literature, because I don't think I'd give it the credit it's due if I did so. This book is open and real in a way I would certainly struggle to be, even without toxic masculinity playing a direct role in how I act (for obvious reasons). In itself, that's been enough to convince me this book is well worth the read and I trust it will be powerful speaking to the young people whose lives will resonate most with the experiences Guvna B describes. Overall: Big fan.
February 13, 2021
At this point in my life, I'm going to read any book that has 'toxic masculinity' in the title. I think it's a vital topic and it is desperately important to be questioning the norms and expectations that society puts on men. I had heard of Guvna B. here and there, but never listened to his music. Despite this, I was keen to hear his perspective on this subject.
Guvna B. is a faith-based rapper who grew up in East London to Ghanaian parents. The book is framed by his experience of the sudden death of his father in 2017, which hit him hard and left him struggling to know how to grieve. For Guvna B., like so many young men in the UK, he had been brought up to see emotion as weakness. Men must show they are strong and invulnerable to any form of weakness. Guvna B. uses his experiences growing up to confront this lie and share with the reader what he has learnt. He takes a look at his family life and the impact of growing up as a black man in London to discover how men and women are conditioned to expect certain traits in men. He then takes an honest look at his marriage, his life and his music to consider how this has impacted his mental health and the people around him. With loving support from his wife, counselling and music, Guvna B. is on the journey towards expressing his emotions more fully and helping others to do the same.
Although Guvna B. is a Christian and refers to God throughout, this book never came across as preachy. As a white man in his 30s, I'm clearly not the target audience for a book scattered with Instagram posts and rap lyrics. However, this was an intensely relatable read, because mental health and grief transcends culture and is a shared life experience. There was a lot to learn for me and some good challenges. Even more importantly, I can see how brilliant this book will be for the young people who read it. It's the kind of book I wish was around when I was 14 or 15 as it would have introduced me to important ideas that I did not learn until my late 20s.
There are a lot of American authors writing books that look at race, the patriarchy and faith, but it was refreshing to hear a new voice from the UK. Whilst this was a bit London-centric, it provides an important insight into the black experience for people growing up in the 90s and what it's like to be a young black man in the UK today.
Guvna B. is an excellent communicator, bringing an important topic to life for a new audience. I appreciated his honesty and humility. I would highly recommend this book and have even listened to some of his music since I read it!
A copy of this book was provided for review by the publisher via NetGalley.
Guvna B. is a faith-based rapper who grew up in East London to Ghanaian parents. The book is framed by his experience of the sudden death of his father in 2017, which hit him hard and left him struggling to know how to grieve. For Guvna B., like so many young men in the UK, he had been brought up to see emotion as weakness. Men must show they are strong and invulnerable to any form of weakness. Guvna B. uses his experiences growing up to confront this lie and share with the reader what he has learnt. He takes a look at his family life and the impact of growing up as a black man in London to discover how men and women are conditioned to expect certain traits in men. He then takes an honest look at his marriage, his life and his music to consider how this has impacted his mental health and the people around him. With loving support from his wife, counselling and music, Guvna B. is on the journey towards expressing his emotions more fully and helping others to do the same.
Although Guvna B. is a Christian and refers to God throughout, this book never came across as preachy. As a white man in his 30s, I'm clearly not the target audience for a book scattered with Instagram posts and rap lyrics. However, this was an intensely relatable read, because mental health and grief transcends culture and is a shared life experience. There was a lot to learn for me and some good challenges. Even more importantly, I can see how brilliant this book will be for the young people who read it. It's the kind of book I wish was around when I was 14 or 15 as it would have introduced me to important ideas that I did not learn until my late 20s.
There are a lot of American authors writing books that look at race, the patriarchy and faith, but it was refreshing to hear a new voice from the UK. Whilst this was a bit London-centric, it provides an important insight into the black experience for people growing up in the 90s and what it's like to be a young black man in the UK today.
Guvna B. is an excellent communicator, bringing an important topic to life for a new audience. I appreciated his honesty and humility. I would highly recommend this book and have even listened to some of his music since I read it!
A copy of this book was provided for review by the publisher via NetGalley.
February 18, 2021
Unspoken is the memoir of gospel/rap artist Isaac Borquaye better known as Guvna B. The book is very much written in his voice and, reading it, I felt as though I was sitting across from him in a cafe as he shared his life story.
Guvna B started out his rap career attempting to emulate the popular artists of the time, writing about a gang culture of violence and promiscuity that was far from his own lived experience. After taking on the sage advice of his mentor, he changed tack and wrote honestly about his life, including his strong Christian faith, and never looked back. Throughout the book Guvna talks about the success his albums have achieved and the awards he has won. Rather than boasting, however, I read his references to his success as a way of showing his readers that another path to fame is possible and that truth and authenticity is what matters - your fans will find and connect with your work when they know it comes from a place of vulnerability.
Guvna shares how the deaths of his father and two friends within the space of about 18 months so deeply affected him. He was forced to confront his own mortality and brought face to face with the fleeting nature of life and the cruelty of death. These experiences went on to impact every aspect of his life including his music and relationship with his wife Emma which he shares in the book. Excerpts from Emma's diary, when set in the context of Guvna's thoughts at the time, highlight the wall Guvna had built around himself excluding even those closest to him.
Recognising his inability to open up to loved ones, Guvna decides to change. He makes a concerted effort to be more open and delves into his past to understand why he was so emotionally closed off. He shares how growing up in a Ghanaian household, his emotions were never something he was encouraged to express. Quite the opposite in fact, he was expected to respect his elders, never complain and certainly, as a boy, to never show weakness by crying. To unlearn this behaviour proves to be a journey for Guvna and one he is undoubtedly still on.
I am glad this book exists and hope young black men in particular will read it and learn that it is OK to feel or even be overcome by emotion and to express grief. For black boys living in the inner cities where violence is accepted as a part of life, there especially needs to be an open discussion around grief and loss to prevent those emotions being bottled up and manifesting in unhealthy and even dangerous ways.
While I enjoyed Unspoken, I recognise that I am not the type of reader who will most benefit from reading it. For me, the writing style was perhaps a little too conversational. Personally I would have preferred it if Guvna had worked with a ghost writer who could have applied some structure and style to a text that sometimes read like the ramblings of a man with something to say but perhaps lacking in the skill and vocabulary to say it. At times Guvna would jump around between subject matters which caused some sections to lose focus. There were points in the book where text copied from his past Instagram posts were inserted and I felt these were sometimes used as a substitute for a deeper analysis of his feelings at the time.
Nevertheless, the fact remains that this book is important, much of what Guvna writes needs to be read and understood by everyone both young and old. I really hope this book will get into the hands of the young people who most need to read it. The toxic masculinity that continues to pervade our society is toxic indeed and needs to be rooted out. If more young men can follow Guvna's shining example, we can only go onwards and upwards from here.
Guvna B started out his rap career attempting to emulate the popular artists of the time, writing about a gang culture of violence and promiscuity that was far from his own lived experience. After taking on the sage advice of his mentor, he changed tack and wrote honestly about his life, including his strong Christian faith, and never looked back. Throughout the book Guvna talks about the success his albums have achieved and the awards he has won. Rather than boasting, however, I read his references to his success as a way of showing his readers that another path to fame is possible and that truth and authenticity is what matters - your fans will find and connect with your work when they know it comes from a place of vulnerability.
Guvna shares how the deaths of his father and two friends within the space of about 18 months so deeply affected him. He was forced to confront his own mortality and brought face to face with the fleeting nature of life and the cruelty of death. These experiences went on to impact every aspect of his life including his music and relationship with his wife Emma which he shares in the book. Excerpts from Emma's diary, when set in the context of Guvna's thoughts at the time, highlight the wall Guvna had built around himself excluding even those closest to him.
Recognising his inability to open up to loved ones, Guvna decides to change. He makes a concerted effort to be more open and delves into his past to understand why he was so emotionally closed off. He shares how growing up in a Ghanaian household, his emotions were never something he was encouraged to express. Quite the opposite in fact, he was expected to respect his elders, never complain and certainly, as a boy, to never show weakness by crying. To unlearn this behaviour proves to be a journey for Guvna and one he is undoubtedly still on.
I am glad this book exists and hope young black men in particular will read it and learn that it is OK to feel or even be overcome by emotion and to express grief. For black boys living in the inner cities where violence is accepted as a part of life, there especially needs to be an open discussion around grief and loss to prevent those emotions being bottled up and manifesting in unhealthy and even dangerous ways.
While I enjoyed Unspoken, I recognise that I am not the type of reader who will most benefit from reading it. For me, the writing style was perhaps a little too conversational. Personally I would have preferred it if Guvna had worked with a ghost writer who could have applied some structure and style to a text that sometimes read like the ramblings of a man with something to say but perhaps lacking in the skill and vocabulary to say it. At times Guvna would jump around between subject matters which caused some sections to lose focus. There were points in the book where text copied from his past Instagram posts were inserted and I felt these were sometimes used as a substitute for a deeper analysis of his feelings at the time.
Nevertheless, the fact remains that this book is important, much of what Guvna writes needs to be read and understood by everyone both young and old. I really hope this book will get into the hands of the young people who most need to read it. The toxic masculinity that continues to pervade our society is toxic indeed and needs to be rooted out. If more young men can follow Guvna's shining example, we can only go onwards and upwards from here.
March 10, 2023
3.5 stars for mixed feelings, rounded off to 4.
I picked up this book because I was interested in hearing about toxic masculinity from a man. While Guvna B does talk about it, to me, he does so briefly and with significant reticence.
I thought this book was mainly about grief, and I appreciate that, having myself suffered some major losses over the past few years. I hugely appreciated the first half of the book where he tells of the loss of his father. I couldn't stop turning the pages.
The second half lagged a little. I felt that the author didn't really tell his story. He says he went to therapy but doesn't bring me into the room with him, nor into the depths of the issues he was confronted with. I understand the need to protect the privacy and dignity of one's loved ones, but the result was that I didn't feel his feelings, and at times this book read more like an essay than a touching story about a man's journey from toxicity and despair to healing.
I picked up this book because I was interested in hearing about toxic masculinity from a man. While Guvna B does talk about it, to me, he does so briefly and with significant reticence.
I thought this book was mainly about grief, and I appreciate that, having myself suffered some major losses over the past few years. I hugely appreciated the first half of the book where he tells of the loss of his father. I couldn't stop turning the pages.
The second half lagged a little. I felt that the author didn't really tell his story. He says he went to therapy but doesn't bring me into the room with him, nor into the depths of the issues he was confronted with. I understand the need to protect the privacy and dignity of one's loved ones, but the result was that I didn't feel his feelings, and at times this book read more like an essay than a touching story about a man's journey from toxicity and despair to healing.
February 28, 2021
Guvna B is a ‘clean’ rap artist from London – meaning his lyrics don’t contain swearing, misogynistic or sexually explicit language or references to drugs and gang culture. Although he grew up in London, his parents were both originally from Ghana and Ghanaian culture had a huge influence on his upbringing. This book covers his childhood, getting his big break, his marriage and his life in general, through to the unexpected loss of his father and two of his close friends. He explains how cultural and social expectations meant he didn’t know how to healthily deal with his emotions until he was overwhelmed by grief and he realised he wasn’t able to cope. He unpacks the lessons he learnt about himself and the impact of toxic masculinity to help his readers better understand how to love through difficult experiences.Guvna B writes in a very conversational tone which I think will appeal to his target audience of teenage boys and young adult men who listen to his music. In terms of the style of writing it was an easy read, although he covers some deep and difficult topics in a sensitively and appropriate way. While I recognise I am not the intended market for this book – I only knew one of his songs before I read it – I still took a lot from it as I was going through a grieving process myself.
I hope a lot of young men get access to and read this book. I hope they find hope within its pages, and a way to improve themselves and their situations by better understanding their emotions and their worth.
Content warnings: alcoholism, death, grief, mental illness, suicidal thoughts, suicide, racism, violence, references to gang culture.
I hope a lot of young men get access to and read this book. I hope they find hope within its pages, and a way to improve themselves and their situations by better understanding their emotions and their worth.
Content warnings: alcoholism, death, grief, mental illness, suicidal thoughts, suicide, racism, violence, references to gang culture.
February 22, 2021
Whilst I doubt I’m Guvna’s target demographic, I picked this up with the young, black, London-based men I work with in mind, hoping to grab a little insight into their experiences of toxic masculinity. Unfortunately I found it to lack substance, repeat clichés and jump around disjointed topics as if the author was spilling his thoughts. Enjoyed the key messages and glad the book exists to open discussion around grief, loss and emotions but (not being the intended audience) didn’t learn much myself
February 17, 2021
Thank you to Harper Inspire for sending me a sampler of 𝗨𝗡𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗞𝗘𝗡 by Guvna B.
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𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵.
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Unspoken focuses on Guvna B's life, the experiences that shaped him, and most importantly how he learned to be his true self regardless of the conditioning of toxic masculinity that is prevalent for young boys and men today.
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𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗹, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆
𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲.
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One main focus of the book is Guvna B's experiences of allowing himself to be vulnerable, and how connecting with his emotions more has led to nothing but positivity.
This is an important message for any reader, but especially for young boys and men who are still taught that to be masculine you must be tough, you must not cry, and you must not express the natural and human emotions that you feel.
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𝗜𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗜 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘀𝗮𝘆, '𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗲'. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝘁.
'𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗲' 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 '𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗲'.
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Unspoken is a book that will definitely resonate with younger readers, and I hope that they read it and recognise some of the lessons it can teach them - though I suspect they may have to learn for themselves with some of the forethought and wisdom Guvna tries to provide (especially his comments about money and material wealth).
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𝗪𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱. 𝗪𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗶𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗺𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀.
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One aspect of the book that spoke to me was how people need to learn to feel empowered in who they are at heart. This is something that people struggle with even as adults, because of fear of the judgements and criticism of others.
But in order to live a fulfilled and truly happy life, you have to be comfortable with yourself, and to love yourself first, before you can extend love to anyone else.
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𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿, 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁.
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There are very specific experiences that Guvna B shares, where class and racism do play a part - especially in relation to his life growing up on an estate in London, and the increasing violence occurring amongst young people.
However, this book does not preach about these elements. Instead it seeks to normalise talking about, and seeking help for, the overwhelming emotions that are triggered by such violence, and that may have led (at least in part) to it occurring.
Any book that seeks to normalise seeking help for mental health issues will always be beneficial for those who read it.
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𝗜𝗻 𝟮𝟬𝟭𝟵, 𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆-𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗯𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝘂𝗯𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘀' 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀 ... 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗮 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗯𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁, 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗮 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹-𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀, 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆.
𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱.
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In a similar vein, an important message that Guvna B relays is that therapy is not just for when things go wrong or badly, but that it can be of benefit at any time.
He talks about marriage counselling and how he and his wife Emma can recognise their differences and know each other better as a result of such counselling.
He touches on the love languages, which is something I've only recently come across myself, but it makes so much sense that in order to make a partner feel loved and appreciated you have to speak to their love language, not your own.
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𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲, 𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲. 𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 - 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁.
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Guvna B is a man of strong faith, and it is clear that his faith is of great comfort and support to him throughout his life.
While a God is not something that I personally believe in, I also do not think he is overly preachy with his beliefs - he simply uses his beliefs to illustrate and underscore the important points he is making. And overall the messages are positive ones.
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𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝘁'𝘀, 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂.
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I enjoyed reading Guvna B's memoir/autobiography and think it is a very timely book. What stands out is how accessible it is, and I hope more young people do read it as it will undoubtedly be of benefit.
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𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵.
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Unspoken focuses on Guvna B's life, the experiences that shaped him, and most importantly how he learned to be his true self regardless of the conditioning of toxic masculinity that is prevalent for young boys and men today.
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𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗹, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆
𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲.
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One main focus of the book is Guvna B's experiences of allowing himself to be vulnerable, and how connecting with his emotions more has led to nothing but positivity.
This is an important message for any reader, but especially for young boys and men who are still taught that to be masculine you must be tough, you must not cry, and you must not express the natural and human emotions that you feel.
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𝗜𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗜 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘀𝗮𝘆, '𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗲'. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝘁.
'𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗲' 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 '𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗲'.
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Unspoken is a book that will definitely resonate with younger readers, and I hope that they read it and recognise some of the lessons it can teach them - though I suspect they may have to learn for themselves with some of the forethought and wisdom Guvna tries to provide (especially his comments about money and material wealth).
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𝗪𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱. 𝗪𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗶𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗺𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀.
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One aspect of the book that spoke to me was how people need to learn to feel empowered in who they are at heart. This is something that people struggle with even as adults, because of fear of the judgements and criticism of others.
But in order to live a fulfilled and truly happy life, you have to be comfortable with yourself, and to love yourself first, before you can extend love to anyone else.
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𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿, 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘆, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁.
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There are very specific experiences that Guvna B shares, where class and racism do play a part - especially in relation to his life growing up on an estate in London, and the increasing violence occurring amongst young people.
However, this book does not preach about these elements. Instead it seeks to normalise talking about, and seeking help for, the overwhelming emotions that are triggered by such violence, and that may have led (at least in part) to it occurring.
Any book that seeks to normalise seeking help for mental health issues will always be beneficial for those who read it.
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𝗜𝗻 𝟮𝟬𝟭𝟵, 𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆-𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗯𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝘂𝗯𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘀' 𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀 ... 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗮 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗯𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁, 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗮 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹-𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀, 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘅𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆.
𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱.
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In a similar vein, an important message that Guvna B relays is that therapy is not just for when things go wrong or badly, but that it can be of benefit at any time.
He talks about marriage counselling and how he and his wife Emma can recognise their differences and know each other better as a result of such counselling.
He touches on the love languages, which is something I've only recently come across myself, but it makes so much sense that in order to make a partner feel loved and appreciated you have to speak to their love language, not your own.
-
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲, 𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲. 𝗪𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 - 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁.
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Guvna B is a man of strong faith, and it is clear that his faith is of great comfort and support to him throughout his life.
While a God is not something that I personally believe in, I also do not think he is overly preachy with his beliefs - he simply uses his beliefs to illustrate and underscore the important points he is making. And overall the messages are positive ones.
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𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝘁'𝘀, 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂.
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I enjoyed reading Guvna B's memoir/autobiography and think it is a very timely book. What stands out is how accessible it is, and I hope more young people do read it as it will undoubtedly be of benefit.
May 7, 2021
An honest and insightful account of a young man’s experiences with toxic masculinity
Rapper Guvna B (real name Isaac Borquaye) grew up in a London council estate and as a result, always thought he was tough and immune to fear, sadness, and other ‘weak’ emotions. However, when a personal tragedy forced him into overwhelming grief, he discovered that his early years had conditioned him to ignore his emotions at the expense of his mental health. Despite believing he was expressing himself through his music, Guvna B realised that he was bottling things up and not being honest with himself and was forced to re-wire his thinking and confront his inbuilt ideas to overcome his depression. In this frank and perceptive memoir, he explores the reasons behind why so many young men are fearful of showing emotion, the damage this can inflict on individuals and society and his ideas for how this can be addressed.
This was an unusual but intriguing book that addresses a lot of interesting issues around mental health, grief and, of course, toxic masculinity – the misguided way that society expects men to behave in a certain manner, devoid of emotions, to demonstrate ‘toughness and strength. The effect this has on young men is undoubtedly negative, but very few men are willing to speak up or address the problem, mainly because the concept itself tells them this is ‘not what men do’. In this account, Guvna B takes these ideas and turns them on their head in what is essentially the open, emotional, and raw story of his life. He bares his soul to the reader and explains in a very insightful way why he thinks he felt the way he did at different time points and how he learned to address these feelings after experiencing loss. In itself, this level of self-awareness challenges expectations that society has of young men, and the author certainly has more self-awareness than a lot of much older men and women I know. As well as exploring his own experiences, Guvna B also puts forward some well thought out ideas on why the cycle of toxic masculinity is perpetuated, and what can be done to stop it. I must admit, I hadn’t heard of Guvna B before I received a copy of Unspoken but have subsequently listened to some of his music and he is an exceptionally talented, expressive young man whose lyrics are well thought out and often genuinely moving. His success is certainly well deserved.
My main problem with this book was that, despite being able to understand and appreciate the content, I didn’t fit the demographic that it was written for. As a white, atheist woman, some parts of it were slightly unrelatable to me – in particular, any reference to faith was quite difficult for me to engage with, having none myself. The narrative was also more of a personal account than a fully researched non-fiction work about toxic masculinity – it would have been interesting to have some other young men’s experiences included to broaden the scope of the book and emphasise the damage that repressing emotions can do to young people. Despite this, I still felt moved and impressed by the writing and enjoyed its conversational tone.
In conclusion, this was an enjoyable and extraordinary read that was powerful and moving in its openness. I sincerely believe that many young men would benefit from reading this book and even though my life is about as different from the author’s as it could be, I still appreciated reading it.
Daenerys
Elite Reviewing Group received a copy of this book to review.
Rapper Guvna B (real name Isaac Borquaye) grew up in a London council estate and as a result, always thought he was tough and immune to fear, sadness, and other ‘weak’ emotions. However, when a personal tragedy forced him into overwhelming grief, he discovered that his early years had conditioned him to ignore his emotions at the expense of his mental health. Despite believing he was expressing himself through his music, Guvna B realised that he was bottling things up and not being honest with himself and was forced to re-wire his thinking and confront his inbuilt ideas to overcome his depression. In this frank and perceptive memoir, he explores the reasons behind why so many young men are fearful of showing emotion, the damage this can inflict on individuals and society and his ideas for how this can be addressed.
This was an unusual but intriguing book that addresses a lot of interesting issues around mental health, grief and, of course, toxic masculinity – the misguided way that society expects men to behave in a certain manner, devoid of emotions, to demonstrate ‘toughness and strength. The effect this has on young men is undoubtedly negative, but very few men are willing to speak up or address the problem, mainly because the concept itself tells them this is ‘not what men do’. In this account, Guvna B takes these ideas and turns them on their head in what is essentially the open, emotional, and raw story of his life. He bares his soul to the reader and explains in a very insightful way why he thinks he felt the way he did at different time points and how he learned to address these feelings after experiencing loss. In itself, this level of self-awareness challenges expectations that society has of young men, and the author certainly has more self-awareness than a lot of much older men and women I know. As well as exploring his own experiences, Guvna B also puts forward some well thought out ideas on why the cycle of toxic masculinity is perpetuated, and what can be done to stop it. I must admit, I hadn’t heard of Guvna B before I received a copy of Unspoken but have subsequently listened to some of his music and he is an exceptionally talented, expressive young man whose lyrics are well thought out and often genuinely moving. His success is certainly well deserved.
My main problem with this book was that, despite being able to understand and appreciate the content, I didn’t fit the demographic that it was written for. As a white, atheist woman, some parts of it were slightly unrelatable to me – in particular, any reference to faith was quite difficult for me to engage with, having none myself. The narrative was also more of a personal account than a fully researched non-fiction work about toxic masculinity – it would have been interesting to have some other young men’s experiences included to broaden the scope of the book and emphasise the damage that repressing emotions can do to young people. Despite this, I still felt moved and impressed by the writing and enjoyed its conversational tone.
In conclusion, this was an enjoyable and extraordinary read that was powerful and moving in its openness. I sincerely believe that many young men would benefit from reading this book and even though my life is about as different from the author’s as it could be, I still appreciated reading it.
Daenerys
Elite Reviewing Group received a copy of this book to review.
May 3, 2022
Interspersed with Guvna B's own lyrics as well as his Instagram posts (unfortunately only the captions made it into the digital ARC; I assume the pictures made it into print?), reading Unspoken: Toxic Masculinity and How I Faced the Man Within the Man felt like sitting in Isaac's (Guvna B's real name) living room, listening to him ramble on about life, grief, faith, and therapy.
It may seem a little weird that I picked this up for review (thanks Netgalley!) since I am not black, British, or male. I don't even listen to his songs; I find rap music a little weird. But the church I attended in Uxbridge had invited him to one of their youth events in 2019 (which is how I remembered the name), so I was a little curious.
The super-long title makes it sound like it's going to be this thesis, but the book reads more like a memoir, with Isaac dropping all pretensions, even his stage name. It centres around his upbringing on a council estate in East London and his grief at the loss of his father and two close friends in the span of two years. It's also mixed up with race relations in the UK, clashes of cultural and familial expectations, and the burden of fame, to some extent. Yet it's conversational and extremely relatable, like an elder brother sharing a personal story.
Some quotes I found super relatable even as someone who's not anywhere near the book's target market:
[For the Asians (lol)]
[For the artists]
[For grieving Christians]
To be honest, while the storytelling prose is what makes the book, there were times when it felt like the author rambled on too far and then came back again with an, "oh yes, this was where I was going with this story". At the end of it all, he ties all the stories and the almost-devastation that came from those tragic events back to his own response, which was:
Overall, Unspoken is lyrically written, honest and heartfelt.
Note: I received a digital ARC of this book from [] via NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
It may seem a little weird that I picked this up for review (thanks Netgalley!) since I am not black, British, or male. I don't even listen to his songs; I find rap music a little weird. But the church I attended in Uxbridge had invited him to one of their youth events in 2019 (which is how I remembered the name), so I was a little curious.
The super-long title makes it sound like it's going to be this thesis, but the book reads more like a memoir, with Isaac dropping all pretensions, even his stage name. It centres around his upbringing on a council estate in East London and his grief at the loss of his father and two close friends in the span of two years. It's also mixed up with race relations in the UK, clashes of cultural and familial expectations, and the burden of fame, to some extent. Yet it's conversational and extremely relatable, like an elder brother sharing a personal story.
Some quotes I found super relatable even as someone who's not anywhere near the book's target market:
[For the Asians (lol)]
I was comprised neither of flesh nor blood but of parental aspiration...
[For the artists]
I now know that what was happening was that I was trying so hard to put out what I thought people wanted to hear, without ever stopping to ask myself what I wanted to say, what was in my heart...
I started comparing myself to other people, which made me feel even worse.
Advice to anyone reading this: Never compare.
[For grieving Christians]
'Within modern Christianity,' [Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury] said, 'we are really bad at lament and protest; really bad at saying, this is terrible, this is wrong, this is awful; and we're really bad at saying, "God I am really mad about this. I am so angry about this. God, I think you've let me down".'
What the psalm teaches us is that it is okay to rage against God, even though it does not come easily to us. It is better to rage against him than to shut him out completely.
In showing our true selves to God, he can reveal his true self to us. That is why lamenting and protesting in times of deep pain is as important as praising and celebrating in times of happiness. Learning to lament and protest is a journey towards better understanding God's love.
To be honest, while the storytelling prose is what makes the book, there were times when it felt like the author rambled on too far and then came back again with an, "oh yes, this was where I was going with this story". At the end of it all, he ties all the stories and the almost-devastation that came from those tragic events back to his own response, which was:
This ingrained sense of masculinity led me to believe that the only emotion permissible for me to reveal was rage. I could be angry, upset, hurt, or sad and then punch something, because that is what men did. Bare my teeth. Tighten my fist. Either that or grin and bear it. Handle it. Withstand the pain.
Overall, Unspoken is lyrically written, honest and heartfelt.
Note: I received a digital ARC of this book from [] via NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
April 29, 2022
Isaac Borquaye (Guvna B) is a British man of Ghanaian descent. He grew up in a culture where masculinity was defined as not letting your feelings out in public and that any outward show of grief or anxiety denoted weakness.
This 'toxic masculinity' reared its head most significantly when Guvna's father died after a short illness and he found himself struggling to deal with the reality of his loss and the emotions it brought forward. For a long time, he found it impossible to open up, even to his wife, because he thought he needed to deal with his feelings alone.
This book chronicles how Guvna learned to accept his emotions and be open with them, the people he loves and who love him. It references his faith and his music, as he has found success by writing and performing. He uses his faith and music to reach out to young black men in particular and let them know it's okay to not be okay.
Guvna also talks honestly about the negative stereotypes that lead to young black men in particular being criminalised. Not all violent crime is perpetrated by people of BAME (black and minority ethnic) backgrounds and yet this is the type of crime we read about most, which also promotes the feeling among young BAME men that they are being targeted and can often lead to a violent response.
Young people have a lot of conflicting pressures to deal with and are often seeking an identity. If they find this in a negative environment it can potentially lead to them ending up in prison or losing their lives. Guvna has clear ideas about how the negative cycle can be broken but is realistic about how difficult this is. His work to help young people find a positive voice is to be applauded.
I enjoyed connecting with Guvna and will take time to listen to some of his music. The lyrics reproduced in the book are honest and thought-provoking and his music deserving of a wider audience. A lot of rap and associated music forms channel negative themes, whereas Guvna seeks to be positive and look at the wider picture.
Hopefully, more people will pick up and read this book. For anyone struggling with mental health issues, or who knows someone who is, this is a recommended read.
I received an ARC of this book from HarperCollins UK, in return for an honest appraisal.
This 'toxic masculinity' reared its head most significantly when Guvna's father died after a short illness and he found himself struggling to deal with the reality of his loss and the emotions it brought forward. For a long time, he found it impossible to open up, even to his wife, because he thought he needed to deal with his feelings alone.
This book chronicles how Guvna learned to accept his emotions and be open with them, the people he loves and who love him. It references his faith and his music, as he has found success by writing and performing. He uses his faith and music to reach out to young black men in particular and let them know it's okay to not be okay.
Guvna also talks honestly about the negative stereotypes that lead to young black men in particular being criminalised. Not all violent crime is perpetrated by people of BAME (black and minority ethnic) backgrounds and yet this is the type of crime we read about most, which also promotes the feeling among young BAME men that they are being targeted and can often lead to a violent response.
Young people have a lot of conflicting pressures to deal with and are often seeking an identity. If they find this in a negative environment it can potentially lead to them ending up in prison or losing their lives. Guvna has clear ideas about how the negative cycle can be broken but is realistic about how difficult this is. His work to help young people find a positive voice is to be applauded.
I enjoyed connecting with Guvna and will take time to listen to some of his music. The lyrics reproduced in the book are honest and thought-provoking and his music deserving of a wider audience. A lot of rap and associated music forms channel negative themes, whereas Guvna seeks to be positive and look at the wider picture.
Hopefully, more people will pick up and read this book. For anyone struggling with mental health issues, or who knows someone who is, this is a recommended read.
I received an ARC of this book from HarperCollins UK, in return for an honest appraisal.
March 24, 2021
Clean rapper Guvna B's memoir, Unspoken, is subtitled "Toxic Masculinity and I How Faced the Man Within the Man". In it he encourages young men to open up about their feelings and emotions more learning, as he did, from the deaths of people close to him. He speaks of love and loss, of crime and fear, passion, joy, faith and devotion. This is a testament to his life and his upbringing, his mistakes and his successes.
It was the subtitle that drew me in and caused me to request a copy of this for review. I'd not heard of Guvna B, I'm not into rap music (clean or otherwise) and I don't tend to like books with overtly religious themes (as for me, it's personal). Neither am I in the demographic that this book is addressed to - young men, particularly black or mixed race. I'm so glad that I did request the book, though. I found I had much in common with Isaac (his real name). We grew up in neighbouring London boroughs and I knew many people at his school (albeit several years earlier). I recall the horrific incident with Issy in the playground. But more than that, I could relate to so much that was said about love and emotion, loss, grief and openness. I don't share Isaac's faith, least not in the same way, but that didn't get in the way of the message which was raw and honest. For me, the subtitle was not perhaps explored as well as I might have liked but I have no regrets about requesting and reading this.
For me, the book did lack a little structure in places and at times I felt that the inclusion of full lyrics slowed the flow. In many cases, a partial lyric would have been better.
Overall, this was a thought-provoking and, at times, an inspiring read that should prove to be accessible to a wide range of readers.
With thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the ARC in return for an honest review.
It was the subtitle that drew me in and caused me to request a copy of this for review. I'd not heard of Guvna B, I'm not into rap music (clean or otherwise) and I don't tend to like books with overtly religious themes (as for me, it's personal). Neither am I in the demographic that this book is addressed to - young men, particularly black or mixed race. I'm so glad that I did request the book, though. I found I had much in common with Isaac (his real name). We grew up in neighbouring London boroughs and I knew many people at his school (albeit several years earlier). I recall the horrific incident with Issy in the playground. But more than that, I could relate to so much that was said about love and emotion, loss, grief and openness. I don't share Isaac's faith, least not in the same way, but that didn't get in the way of the message which was raw and honest. For me, the subtitle was not perhaps explored as well as I might have liked but I have no regrets about requesting and reading this.
For me, the book did lack a little structure in places and at times I felt that the inclusion of full lyrics slowed the flow. In many cases, a partial lyric would have been better.
Overall, this was a thought-provoking and, at times, an inspiring read that should prove to be accessible to a wide range of readers.
With thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the ARC in return for an honest review.
February 1, 2021
Christian rapper Guvna B has written a book to encourage young men to open up about their feelings and emotions more. Drawing on experiences from his own life - especially the death of his father and one of his close friends - he touches on the 'toxic masculinity' that is so common in men (in general) and men from inner-city multiracial communities.
Honestly, I should kick myself for requesting autobiographies, memoirs, and treatises on life which are written by people I don't know and have never heard of. I did it recently and regretted it and I did it with this one. Who am I to assess if this is any good? I hate rap, didn't even know that 'Christian' rap existed, and don't generally take advice from people who think God has all the answers. And, I'm not a young black or mixed-race man.
Guvna B's background was a strict but loving immigrant home with parents who came to London from Ghana. He's a success - but not the doctor - lawyer - dentist that his parents might have wanted him to be.
I don't know if the ARC kindle version I read is incomplete but I had a number of problems. I expected photos - they are frequently referred to in the text - but when I got to the end, there were none. I found the inclusion of lyrics and Instagram posts in the text with no font or spacing differentiation from the actual 'story' very confusing.
Undoubtedly, he's a fine young man who had some disadvantages in his childhood and teens - though honestly, nothing particularly unusual or extreme. He's made a living doing something he loves, and if his book persuades his followers to speak out about their feelings, then that has to be a positive thing.
I'm just absolutely not his target demographic.
Honestly, I should kick myself for requesting autobiographies, memoirs, and treatises on life which are written by people I don't know and have never heard of. I did it recently and regretted it and I did it with this one. Who am I to assess if this is any good? I hate rap, didn't even know that 'Christian' rap existed, and don't generally take advice from people who think God has all the answers. And, I'm not a young black or mixed-race man.
Guvna B's background was a strict but loving immigrant home with parents who came to London from Ghana. He's a success - but not the doctor - lawyer - dentist that his parents might have wanted him to be.
I don't know if the ARC kindle version I read is incomplete but I had a number of problems. I expected photos - they are frequently referred to in the text - but when I got to the end, there were none. I found the inclusion of lyrics and Instagram posts in the text with no font or spacing differentiation from the actual 'story' very confusing.
Undoubtedly, he's a fine young man who had some disadvantages in his childhood and teens - though honestly, nothing particularly unusual or extreme. He's made a living doing something he loves, and if his book persuades his followers to speak out about their feelings, then that has to be a positive thing.
I'm just absolutely not his target demographic.
February 25, 2025
When I stumbled upon Unspoken by Guvna B on NetGalley, I couldn't resist requesting a copy. I was already familiar with Guvna through Josh and Olie's YouTube channel Korean Englishman, and I knew this book would be something special.
This memoir is a powerful and deeply inspiring exploration of a young black man's journey to confront toxic masculinity and redefine what it means to be a man. Guvna B, acclaimed as a rapper who breaks stereotypes within the genre, shares his personal experiences and the lessons he's learned in the wake of profound loss.
Growing up on an East London council estate with Ghanaian parents, Guvna, also known as Isaac, was conditioned to believe that showing emotions and vulnerability was a sign of weakness. But when his father passes away unexpectedly, Isaac is forced to confront his own grief and battle depression. With the unwavering support of his wife, Emma, he seeks counseling and learns that asking for help is an act of strength, not weakness.
Through mentoring young people and advocating for support systems, Guvna passionately highlights the importance of protecting and empowering vulnerable individuals. He openly shares the comfort he finds in his faith and challenges societal norms that perpetuate harmful stereotypes. Unspoken is an essential narrative that resonates with young men in particular, and I firmly believe it should be included as part of social and emotional education in schools.
This book is an eye-opening and necessary read that sheds light on the struggles faced by many young men today. Guvna B's story is one of resilience, growth, and the power of breaking free from societal expectations. Prepare to be moved, inspired, and challenged to reevaluate your own perceptions of masculinity.
This memoir is a powerful and deeply inspiring exploration of a young black man's journey to confront toxic masculinity and redefine what it means to be a man. Guvna B, acclaimed as a rapper who breaks stereotypes within the genre, shares his personal experiences and the lessons he's learned in the wake of profound loss.
Growing up on an East London council estate with Ghanaian parents, Guvna, also known as Isaac, was conditioned to believe that showing emotions and vulnerability was a sign of weakness. But when his father passes away unexpectedly, Isaac is forced to confront his own grief and battle depression. With the unwavering support of his wife, Emma, he seeks counseling and learns that asking for help is an act of strength, not weakness.
Through mentoring young people and advocating for support systems, Guvna passionately highlights the importance of protecting and empowering vulnerable individuals. He openly shares the comfort he finds in his faith and challenges societal norms that perpetuate harmful stereotypes. Unspoken is an essential narrative that resonates with young men in particular, and I firmly believe it should be included as part of social and emotional education in schools.
This book is an eye-opening and necessary read that sheds light on the struggles faced by many young men today. Guvna B's story is one of resilience, growth, and the power of breaking free from societal expectations. Prepare to be moved, inspired, and challenged to reevaluate your own perceptions of masculinity.
February 6, 2021
Unspoken is a powerful and inspiring memoir from a young black man giving back to the community, and sharing the lessons he has learnt following the loss of close family and friends. Guvna B has had critical acclaim as a rapper breaking the stereotypes of the rap genre. Songwriting is for him, cathartic, and a way of connecting with his audience.
Growing up on an East London council estate, with Ghanaian parents, Guvna (real name Isaac), was told it was weak to cry. Men were strong. His peers had little ambition, and life was all about fitting in and not showing weakness or vulnerability - in other words - toxic masculinity.
But when his father suddenly and unexpectedly dies, Isaac is forced to confront his feelings of grief and depression if he is to lead a meaningful life. With the loving support of his wife Emma, he seeks counselling, and learns that it is a strength to ask for help, not a weakness.
The lessons he has learnt are what he wants to pass on. He mentors young people, he supports aspiring musicians. He openly talks about the comfort of his faith. He writes with integrity about the need for adults to protect and support those who are most vulnerable, and how governments have let young people down with austerity cuts that have seen youth services decimated.
Unspoken is an important and necessary story that young men in particular will connect with and I strongly believe it should be provided in schools as part of social and emotional education.
Growing up on an East London council estate, with Ghanaian parents, Guvna (real name Isaac), was told it was weak to cry. Men were strong. His peers had little ambition, and life was all about fitting in and not showing weakness or vulnerability - in other words - toxic masculinity.
But when his father suddenly and unexpectedly dies, Isaac is forced to confront his feelings of grief and depression if he is to lead a meaningful life. With the loving support of his wife Emma, he seeks counselling, and learns that it is a strength to ask for help, not a weakness.
The lessons he has learnt are what he wants to pass on. He mentors young people, he supports aspiring musicians. He openly talks about the comfort of his faith. He writes with integrity about the need for adults to protect and support those who are most vulnerable, and how governments have let young people down with austerity cuts that have seen youth services decimated.
Unspoken is an important and necessary story that young men in particular will connect with and I strongly believe it should be provided in schools as part of social and emotional education.
March 19, 2022
The author of this book, Guvna B, is an East London Christian rapper and his stated motivation to write this book is to discuss toxic masculinity and its negative effects on all including, if not especially, males themselves. The death of his father, followed closely by the death of other people close to him, force the author to face his emotions and learn how to be aware of them and manage them.
Guvna B's style is very readable and colloquial therefore approachable to a wide audience particularly for a younger audience which is perhaps the target here. While I appreciated the book and the author's honesty and genuine handling of the subject matter, I couldn't help thinking I probably wasn't the intended reader of this book and therefore found myself to a degree neither particularly enlightened nor interested in some of the detail (e.g. the frequent use of social media extracts to illustrate the narration).
All in all though I think this book has a place on many people's shelves and the world is better off for it having been written.
Many thanks to HarperCollins UK, HarperInspire and NetGalley for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Guvna B's style is very readable and colloquial therefore approachable to a wide audience particularly for a younger audience which is perhaps the target here. While I appreciated the book and the author's honesty and genuine handling of the subject matter, I couldn't help thinking I probably wasn't the intended reader of this book and therefore found myself to a degree neither particularly enlightened nor interested in some of the detail (e.g. the frequent use of social media extracts to illustrate the narration).
All in all though I think this book has a place on many people's shelves and the world is better off for it having been written.
Many thanks to HarperCollins UK, HarperInspire and NetGalley for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
November 18, 2022
This was the first book I ever requested when I joined Netgalley. I don't know why it has taken me this long to read. I think because I am not usually a big non fiction reader it always got bumped in favour of a fictional tale.
I am so glad I finally got to it though, it was such a strong heart felt tale. I hadn't heard of Guvna B before reading this, but since reading I have hunted for his music and I have to say I really enjoy the songs he makes!
This book is about a brave man sharing his experiences with grief, mental health and the choices he has made. It is extremely eloquently written. His voice jumps off the page and I feel privileged to have been able to read about his journey. His words are so thought provoking and inspiring, I think everyone who reads this will find some element that they can relate to. I hope that Isaac is able to inspire the young people he has set out to help and encourage everyone, men especially, to be open and honest and talk about how things are affecting them.
Thankyou for your strong and powerful words. Keep up the work @guvnab there will be a lot of people who will be inspired and helped by your truth.
I am so glad I finally got to it though, it was such a strong heart felt tale. I hadn't heard of Guvna B before reading this, but since reading I have hunted for his music and I have to say I really enjoy the songs he makes!
This book is about a brave man sharing his experiences with grief, mental health and the choices he has made. It is extremely eloquently written. His voice jumps off the page and I feel privileged to have been able to read about his journey. His words are so thought provoking and inspiring, I think everyone who reads this will find some element that they can relate to. I hope that Isaac is able to inspire the young people he has set out to help and encourage everyone, men especially, to be open and honest and talk about how things are affecting them.
Thankyou for your strong and powerful words. Keep up the work @guvnab there will be a lot of people who will be inspired and helped by your truth.
May 18, 2021
Guvna B has provided a very good example about how toxic masculinity can form even with a loving relationship. He clearly loves his father dearly, yet has shown in this book how their relationship and his upbringing did not provide him with the emotional intelligence to handle life's setbacks - which then caused him to suffer greatly as he tried to learn whilst they were happening around him. I think his story is relatable and something that a lot of young men need to hear. I also really like how he never tries to justify his work as a positive rapper. I came into it with a perception that it was uncool - thinking of Will Smith lyrics from the 90s. However, for him it's just what he knows is more needed in the world, which is definitely true.
I wasn't a big fan of his lyrics being scattered through the book though - I felt that whilst they were sometimes useful to get a better understanding of his point, I mostly skipped over them.
I wasn't a big fan of his lyrics being scattered through the book though - I felt that whilst they were sometimes useful to get a better understanding of his point, I mostly skipped over them.
November 20, 2021
I know I am not the target audience for this book as a retired white woman but I found it fascinating to have an insight into a life I will never likely cross with. Guvna B is a young black rapper who tells an honest and moving story of growing up on a Council estate in London and the rules he felt he had to live by. The story is the fact that somehow he found the strength and the faith to fight against expectations and create his own life and his own definition of success.
I enjoyed the book more than I expected to. There were surprisingly many universals in the story of life growing up poor with family and society expectations. Even though my parallel was being a gay female growing up poor in the west of Scotland. The book is a story of breaking stereotypes and making your own life with your own rules and I’d recommend it to anyone who feels cynical about today’s “young people” because this book is full of hope.
I was given a copy of the book by Netgalley.
I enjoyed the book more than I expected to. There were surprisingly many universals in the story of life growing up poor with family and society expectations. Even though my parallel was being a gay female growing up poor in the west of Scotland. The book is a story of breaking stereotypes and making your own life with your own rules and I’d recommend it to anyone who feels cynical about today’s “young people” because this book is full of hope.
I was given a copy of the book by Netgalley.
March 31, 2022
An admirable, humbling effort by the artist and now, author, GuvnaB to shed light on the complexity of grief.
It's part-memoir, part-guide to life as a Londoner...a young Black man...a humble soul...a husband...a person. We don't always know the words to say, or what to do to help those who are grieving. We don't always know how to cope ourselves. This book helped to share the reality from the perspective of someone who lost not one, but three loved ones within a short space of time. The differences in emotive processing between all three, and how each taught him something more about himself and humanity.
The writing style is a little sketchy, dancing from poetic to coach-ey, to somewhat prophetic/political at times. However, even he admits his style of writing isn't intended to be prosaic.
Good effort.
It's part-memoir, part-guide to life as a Londoner...a young Black man...a humble soul...a husband...a person. We don't always know the words to say, or what to do to help those who are grieving. We don't always know how to cope ourselves. This book helped to share the reality from the perspective of someone who lost not one, but three loved ones within a short space of time. The differences in emotive processing between all three, and how each taught him something more about himself and humanity.
The writing style is a little sketchy, dancing from poetic to coach-ey, to somewhat prophetic/political at times. However, even he admits his style of writing isn't intended to be prosaic.
Good effort.
March 31, 2021
Guvna B shares some personal insights into grief, recovery, hope and resilience in this part autobiography- part self help style book.
In its mixed media format, Guvna B draws from photos, song lyrics, diary entries and more to examine his journey of growth from the pit of depression and moments of despair; he writes with self awareness, true reflection and undeniable passion about the impact of toxic masculinity seeded in his upbringing and that which festers in the world he now inhibits as an adult. Reading this is full of uncomfortable truths, but akin to how a conversation with a really good friend can help you to see an issue in a new, and sometimes unexpected, light.
While I don’t think I’m necessarily the intended target audience for this book, I do feel that there’s learning and perspective in it that anyone could benefit from reading, and I hope that it will better enable me to consider the perspective, challenges and responses of my husband and two sons as they make their way through the world.
I really liked the multidimensional element of this reading experience and I particularly enjoyed how Guvna B shared extracts of his wife’s thoughts and reactions to different moments in their lives. I welcomed the notion that his challenges had repercussions on those that he loved, and loved him, and it was important for the reader to hear her voice in order to fully understand his outlook and the setting of his priorities at those points in time, especially when it came to the subject of how they intend to raise their son in an imperfect world.
August 16, 2022
Unspoken explores complex issues that are facing many young people and men (toxic masculinity, grief, and coming of age). Some of the topics are quite deep and I think this would suit Young Adults. I’m not particularly religious and this is a theme but done in a balanced way and can be enjoyed regardless of your faith. I’m not the target audience as a Black women in her 30’s but I found the book insightful as a mother of a young Black son.
It’s well written and an easy read that I enjoyed and although I couldn’t see the pictures quoted I enjoyed how Guvna B incorporated his lyrics to tell his story and share his thought process with some of his songs and social media post.
Overall an inspiring read that touches on grief, communication, love and self acceptance.
It’s well written and an easy read that I enjoyed and although I couldn’t see the pictures quoted I enjoyed how Guvna B incorporated his lyrics to tell his story and share his thought process with some of his songs and social media post.
Overall an inspiring read that touches on grief, communication, love and self acceptance.
January 27, 2022
Who knew that binging on Korean culture would lead me to this book!?
One of the first few books that I really felt like someone said “I hear you, I see you”. What makes this book special to me is how the author speaks as though an older brother to you that you wish you had. He opens up in vulnerable ways and makes you think and reflect. It’s also refreshing because his background especially in culture felt very similar to mine so it really was like having a brother!
Treat this book less as a self-help or inspirational read but rather a conversation with family. It’s why I’m giving this a 5-star. I’m reminded of what really matters and being more open with my feelings. Thank you :)
One of the first few books that I really felt like someone said “I hear you, I see you”. What makes this book special to me is how the author speaks as though an older brother to you that you wish you had. He opens up in vulnerable ways and makes you think and reflect. It’s also refreshing because his background especially in culture felt very similar to mine so it really was like having a brother!
Treat this book less as a self-help or inspirational read but rather a conversation with family. It’s why I’m giving this a 5-star. I’m reminded of what really matters and being more open with my feelings. Thank you :)
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January 10, 2021So I first encountered Guvna B or Isaac Borquaye in an interview on HTB online and was blown away by his insight and outlook for such a young man. This book (his second release) covers the loss of his father and how it shaped his life and his beliefs in himself and what being a man actually means to him. This book is a celebration of his father and his religion interlaced with the lyrics from some of his songs. Fascinating read.
March 10, 2021
I honestly loved this book SO much.
It has taught me so much & I found it really eye opening.
Issac is such a talented writer and he is able to get information across to the reader in such a compassionate way.
This book is so open and honest.
I can relate to certain topics in this book & I am now eager for the men in my life to read this too.
I think this is a book for everyone, especially those that want to educate themselves.
I have also now ordered Unpopular Culture to read too.
It has taught me so much & I found it really eye opening.
Issac is such a talented writer and he is able to get information across to the reader in such a compassionate way.
This book is so open and honest.
I can relate to certain topics in this book & I am now eager for the men in my life to read this too.
I think this is a book for everyone, especially those that want to educate themselves.
I have also now ordered Unpopular Culture to read too.
September 20, 2024
I purchased the audioversion of this book (narrated by the author). Hearing the words spoken in his own voice is powerful! He is thoughtful, articulate, insightful, and honest. My own childhood growing up in the UK and experiences living abroad resonate. His multicultural observations are uniquely his own & also ring true with the lived experiences of many people. A fascinating and relatable book!
March 16, 2021
This book is fanastic.
It's honest, hope filled and life givining. Issac writes with wisdom and integrity. It's a book for the generations! Guvna totally personifies that we find strength in vulnerability.
It's honest, hope filled and life givining. Issac writes with wisdom and integrity. It's a book for the generations! Guvna totally personifies that we find strength in vulnerability.
April 11, 2021
A powerful, raw and honest look at Guvna B’s life. It was very eye opening and I hope a lot of young people get to read this. I’ve recommended it to the young people I know and will be purchasing copies for them, too!
June 23, 2022
A very moving account of a young man and his struggles. Some of his songs are here and also how he has been helped by others and now seeks to help others. Men need to read this and realise being strong doesn't have to mean we don't need help sometimes.
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