Mergers & Acquisitions

by Dana Vachon

Mergers & Acquisitions is a very simple business. Investment banks give advice to billion-dollar companies buying other billion-dollar companies, and they take around one half of one percent of the value of these multibillion-dollar deals as a fee. One half of one percent on a twenty-billion-dollar merger is one hundred million dollars, made in a period of a few months without ever risking a cent.

Tommy Quinn is a recent Georgetown grad who has just landed the job of his dreams as an investment banker at J. S. Spenser, and the perfect girl, Frances Sloan, the daughter of one of New York’s oldest moneyed families. As he travels from the most exclusive ball rooms of the Racquet and Tennis Club to the stuffiest boardrooms of J. S. Spenser, from the golf links of Piping Rock to the bedrooms of Park Avenue, and from the debauched yacht of a Mexican billionaire to the Ritalin-strewn prep-school dorm room of his younger brother, he finds that the job and the girl are not what they once seemed.

Set against the backdrop of money, lust, power, corruption, cynicism, energy, and excitement that is Wall Street, Dana Vachon’s debut is suffused with an authenticity that only an author who lives in the world it portrays can provide. With Mergers & Acquisitions, he delivers a stylish and hilarious tale of the lives and loves of well-to-do young Manhattanites in their first year on Wall Street.

Sharp, fast-paced, and bitingly witty, Mergers & Acquisitions is a compulsively readable story of New York’s young, ambitious, and wealthy that is destined to become one of the year’s most buzzed-about debuts.

Genres: Fiction, New York, Business, Audiobook, Novels, Contemporary, Economics

304 pages, Hardcover

First published February 1, 2007

Reviews

[ducky · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wow, I can't believe I wasted my hard earned money on this terrible book. Dana Vachon is trying to pull a "Devil Wears Prada" and seems like he wrote the entire book with a movie in mind. That basically means that this story would make a better movie than a book...but even the movie would be just average. The beginning of the book was funny enough, but towards the end the characters and their behavior became totally unrealistic....the dancing scene on the yacht in Mexico anyone? I completely lost interest after that ridiculous Mexican bit. Luckily, it was towards the end of the book anyway.
I heard about this book from blogster (is that what she is?) Julia Allison...I won't be taking book recommendations from her ever again!

[Stacey · Rating 1 out of 5]

if you value your relationship with bret easton ellis and thought about reading this book based on either it's TITLE, or the reviews on the back that compares it to bret easton ellis meets f.scott fitzgerald, let me save you the $16.

this is a very weak, watered-down storyline with uninteresting characters and a very anticlimactic climax. i didn't even realize i was at the pivotal point of the story.

the reviews were kind, at best.

[Nina Kentsis · Rating 1 out of 5]

this book kind of sucked. i couldn't even finish it. dana vachon, you almost make me embarrassed to be a fellow blue devil. except that you've written a book, sold it, had it published, and i'm sure someone's bought the film rights.

if you want to read a cut-rate "bright lights, big city," or "less than zero," check out this book. otherwise, just revisit the first two.

[Tajma · Rating 1 out of 5]

Going through my bookshelves and finding this kind of trash makes me realize how much I used to enjoy wasting money. I always think I'm going to end up giving these books away and then realize that I'm embarrassed to let anyone know I paid for them! I fell for that McInerney blurb on the back, unfortunately. Writers really ought to be more discerning about what they put their names to.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oy, terrible

[Blanca · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dana Vachon has been touted as this generation's Jay McInerney, but the comparisons run true on the most superficial level.

Yes, it is fiction that tells the story of the affluent, indulgent and decadent lifestyles of the contemporary American with dry wit and malaise. But that is where the similarities end. M&A's literary attempts are very calculated and flow awkwardly with the soft porn passages, that are no doubt an attempt to appeal to a literary, young dude set. This is forging the way for the brother genre of chick lit, aka, dick lit.

It is entertaining and a quick read, but not worth the sale price. I was lucky enough to score the publisher's advanced copy from for free.

[Mike P · Rating 1 out of 5]

Starts slow, gets slower, nonsensical ending. Has no plot, meanders from one unbelievable situation to another, has characters that are below the level of Saturday morning cartoons and have no redeeming qualities -- essentially, a totally waste of time to read.

[Kat · Rating 1 out of 5]

didn't finish. absolutely terrible.

[Rob · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not quite what I expected, but nevertheless a somewhat entertaining book. It read more like a biography made up of inter-linking story lines that really didn't end up anywhere.
I was a little disappointed with the ending, it seemed to finish quite odd and not really resolving anything at all.
From the title and cover I would have picked the book as a business thriller in the mold of the Wall Street movies, but was sadly disappointed in that respects.

[Evangeline · Rating 2 out of 5]

The ending didn't really make sense to me and I was left feeling like I wasted my afternoon reading this. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel about the characters. I found it difficult to respect Tommy as he was absolutely incompetent an investment banker and made no genuine effort to learn. It wasn't clear why he should choose to become a doctor, since he did so badly in pre-med. And why in the world did his girlfriend Frances break down? Sure, the boyfriend was sucked in by his job for days on end, but she had everything else going for her. Roger was simply terrible - he seemed to think of almost nothing but sex and sought to coast his way through life by relying on connections and taking credit for other people's work. But I can believe that his type exists.

The only thing I took away was some insight into the investment banking lifestyle and how it becomes so easy to get caught up in the pursuit of money. The portrayal of the nouveau riche is also quite interesting - people who have millions but struggle to be respected by the elite. Because Singapore is a young country (and therefore has less traditions etc), I think that it's easier for those who are crass but rich to break into the ranks of the elite. And who says that the notion of royalty is dying? The kings of the world are corporate bosses - they can get employees to do all sorts of things like enrolling their child in kindergarten.

[Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really am at the mercy of the paltry Price Park library audiobook section. I think I have listened to all the good ones, so now I'm reduced to books such as this which touts "a hilarious romp through the dizzying world of NY investment banking" or some such drivel. The premise seems to be - NY investment banks hire shallow preppies who are primarily interested in consumer goods - if you have the right amount of panache it does not really matter if you are clueless as to basic spreadsheets, exchange rates, whatever. Some of the story lines made no sense, or seemed to be reaching for a 'jump the shark' drama. Drunken midgets! Death by eggroll! Retarded Rockefellers! Flaming computers! Flaming porn! Pucci-clad pirates!Etc!
Sounds like I hated this book - but no - the audiobook reader, Kirby Heyborne was one of the best ones I've encountered in my hilarious romp through Price Park library's audiobook section. Heyborne nailed the voices for the cast of jaded preppies, foreign nationals and aging socialites, which made the book fun to listen to. The book works better as a camp send-up of a certain time and place in NY society - and just seems ridiculous when the author attempts to conjure a meaning to any of it.

[Luisavides · Rating 1 out of 5]

I bought this book expecting to get an insight on the welling and dealing in the finance industry.

I got instead a "novel" in which the typical ingredients are all include money+sex+drugs.

Not wanting to discuss the veracity of the facts the way they are presented do not contribute in anything for a believable story.

In literary terms the book in written in a very uninteresting way, since facts are kept to minimum, time is irrelevant and only saucy details come out. It looks like it was wriiten to be picked-up for a movie script.

There is no moral sense to the book and just the most unhealthy content of this story in presented on this most ordinary presentation of facts.

A typical Joan Collins novel...deja vue.

[Hubert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although basically soap opera for the Ivy League Wall Street crowd, I found Vachon's writing definitely very entertaining, rather hip and satirical. It's always fun to read about young Wall Street types, and that the author has been there lends the book some authority and credibility. The culmination of events at the end of the novel were less than believable, as if all the drama accumulated up to that point could be wrapped up in 30-40 pages. Still, at times very funny.

[Jeanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Always looking for fiction that's light and easy to read, but not so mindless and trashy that it offends the intellect. This one was entertaining, a good summer beach read (except I read it back in the 'toum, AFTER the weekend on Lamu island). A Gossip Girl-esque account of life inside the big Wall Street financial firms.

[Chelsea Moring · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious. Perfect for those of us who came out of college to a terrible job market a few years ago. Love the characters and wild plot.

[Philippos Alexopoulos · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kinda just a kitschy take on the high life of Wall Street. Sure one could argue that it’s kinda hard to accurately depict Wall Street without being kitschy, but here it was quite in your face. It’s quite fun at times but the plot needed more developing and the pacing felt a bit off. Other than that it was a nice weekend read.

[Grrrrrr · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mildly entertaining but mostly boring perspective of the empty souls of privileged investment bankers. The author seems very inspired by the writing style of Bret Easton Ellis. Which is not for every reader. My grade of 3 would have been lower if not for the funny character Roger Thorne. A better story would have been about his life, and Tommy as his wingman.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

If Billions, The Wolf of Wall Street, and David Sedaris had a child, this would be it.

[Abby Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. It was a quick read, funny and well-written. Thorpe’s character was a bit over-the-top but I think that was on purpose.

[Ria · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great novel focusing on the wheeler dealer world of Wall street and the investment banking industry. Tommy Quinn has recently graduated from Georgetown, originally an applicant for medical school he has somehow sort of stumbled through his father into the world of the financial market.
Totally inept and blundering through a career he is totally unfit for his life is spiralling out of control trying to keep up with the affluent girlfriend and Ritzy and glamourous lifestyle that is a part of this vocation he finds himself lying through his teeth to Frances amidst a mounting labyrinth of stress and deceit to hide his incapable acts at work.
But his rich friends and co workers are faring no better and resort to booze, sex, drugs and other seedy vices to get through the hectic workdays.
With his life unravelling and Frances hiding deep secrets at home Tom is in a big mess.
Can he ever crawl out from beneath the mountain of problems he has stored up for himself?
Can he save his career and does he even want to? Can he get things back on track with Frances or is everything a little too late?
Sarcastic, witty, sexy, glamourous and with oodles of greed and corruption this is a great read and gives one hell of an insight, though fictitious into the bad side of the banking and investment industry.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best parts of this book are the parts where the author describes the romantic relationship between the two main characters. It's kind of sweet and poetic. But as always, things fall apart. I'm not sure that I really understood the ending of the book. I think I do, but...hmm...wish I had someone to discuss it with. Anywho, this book is kind of a throw-back to the books of the 80s (like Bret Ellis, Jay McInerney) about Wall Streeters and Yuppies. Set in the present day, this book is about Wall Streeters and Yuppies with a sprinkling of pop culture references to really push home the shallow-ism of people.

[Jonathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book re-enforces the theme that life is complicated, can't always have what you want. I connected with the main character, Tommy. Throughout the book he's trying to find his way, and is always to try to a grasp what happening. Events are happening so fast and he's never really the driving force behind them, he's just trying to appease everyone and finds himself just reacting to the environment.

[Terra · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a Manhattan novel with a few sharp observations. I didn't find it as satisfying as The Emperor's Children or as intricately constructed as The Tourists. I can see why people are comparing it to The Tourists, though -- it has some of similar plot and character elements like the parties and the secondary characters.

[Adam · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was so much buzz about this book (or maybe I just read Gawker too much) and although there were definitely some very funny parts and interesting social commentary, was still pretty disappointed. The ending is just completely ridiculous and too trite for the mood of the book. Would not recommend.

[Kay · Rating 2 out of 5]

my eyes, they burn! it was like the clique series for adult males. a lot of business-isn't-numbers-it's-corruption, a lot of sex, a lot of literary-reaching. a review (oh, WSJ, you have betrayed me!) described as catcher-in-the-rye-esque. i probably should have remembered how much I hated that book.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author of this book is a New England rich kid/prepster who was an analyst at JP Morgan. The photo of the author on the back cover might actually be straight out of his fraternity yearbook. Anyway, this book is supposed to be an insider view of the New York/Wall Street social scene. It's not a terribly flattering portrayal (big surprise). It's an entertaining read...very funny in parts.

[Christina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think that Vachon has real writing talent, which can be seen in his creation and development of characters. However, it's hard for this talent to shine through within a book whose story is, overall, convoluted, boring, and at times, too far-fetched to be believable.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kind of a SATC for boys...his relationship with his girlfriend is pretty far fetched - they live together but he can't see her spiral into a depression where she cuts herself and goes to an institution???

[Sarah]

At times this book is laugh out loud funny. In other parts, it feels repetitive and forced. Nice diversion but not fine literature. I still can't figure out if some of the repeated phrasings were a literary device or an editing mistake.

[Kelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

Never really understood what the plot was. It kept my attention in the beginning because I was wondering where it was going but by the end I could not wait for it to end and it really had no good ending. I listened to it on a long drive but otherwise would have stopped mid-way through.