Well, OK. I read the book, Twisted Devil, listed as book #0.5 and didn’t care for it, but it was short and I thought the writing style was good enough to deserve another look. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
In the advertising blurb on Amazon this statement appears: “As of September, 2021 The Devil You Know has been completely revised and rewritten in first person point of view to match the rest of the series!” Bad idea. Revisions appeared to be involved with changing the pronouns from “he/she” to “I.” I’m unimpressed with the rewrites. There are a lot of sentences that seem awkward when using first person. There is too much awareness, making the actions of the speaker seem purposely contrived. They would make sense if in third person. For example:
“A smile tipped up the corners of my mouth…” makes the narrator too aware, as if she is scheming to make an impression with a little smile. In third person, it makes more sense: “A smile tipped up the corners of her mouth….” That sentence makes us want to know why, and what she is thinking about.
“…before shyly straddling his waist…” also seems a bit conniving. How does a narrator know she is straddling a man shyly unless it is a deliberate act? As a third person observation, it makes sense. We can be led to wonder what makes her so shy around him. In first person, the sentence needs a rewrite, something like “I felt myself blush as I straddled his waist,” or some such. A good editor would come up with something better.
This book is a super common trope: young woman full of fears, needy, self-deprecating, virginal, with poor body image and a possessive alpha male who is devastatingly handsome, loves curves, and promises to protect her forever. She is Victoria, the same female stereotype as Chloe and he is Blake, the same male stereotype as Jason, both of whom we read about in Twisted Devil.
Blake calls Victoria “strong,” just as Jason calls Chloe “strong” in Twisted Devil. And, as with Chloe, Victoria is not allowed to be strong, dynamic or forceful except during the narrow confines of a story device. For the lion’s share of the book, Victoria is needy, whiny, and extraordinarily malleable (she follows other people’s advice rather than making a decision on her own). She accepts no responsibility for others being hurt because of her. To one woman, her friend, she apologizes and that’s it…because she is so involved with Blake.
I do not understand what Blake sees in her. I do see what Victoria sees in Blake; he is a protector and does she ever need protecting…often from herself. Their chemistry is nonexistent. They perform sex without being emotionally connected to each other. The changing POV during sex scenes is vaguely off-putting and does not seem genuine. And sex without a condom? They remembered once, then it was perfectly fine not to use a condom. Remember, they’ve just met and he certainly has a sexual history.
The writer persists in refreshing readers’ memories with reminders of her characters’ traits. Johnathan comes from nothing, wants success and more money. Blake is brimming over with self-confidence. Kate is crushed by her husband’s infidelity. Victoria’s horrible experience as a teenager has allowed her to keep everyone at arm’s length. As readers, we won’t forget what comprises these characters and we do not need to be reminded of them in every other chapter.
There are a number of discrepancies in the book. For instance, Victoria is a psychologist and yet she says she wasn’t an expert on behaviors. She’d better be. Her patients are paying good money for her expertise. Also, after an incident in her office building, she tells the police that she’ll give them her statement in the morning. The next day, she states she told the police she would come to the station in the afternoon.
Victoria is professionally and personally irresponsible in her behavior towards Johnathan. He wants to be more than friends and she knows this. She refuses to discuss their relationship openly and directly with him because she “doesn’t want to hurt him.” She has numerous opportunities to tell him, but she just can’t do it. This is a serious character flaw. She is a psychologist and should have a higher regard for others. Johnathan is not a particularly sympathetic character, but she keeps him hanging and that’s callous. Shame on her.
Sometimes the changes in scenes are too rapid. For instance:
“With another hug I said goodbye and headed home. I disengaged the alarm and kicked my shoes off with a little sigh of relief.” This is from one paragraph. In the first sentence, Victoria is in a hospital room with Kate. In the next sentence, she is at home. There is no transition.
It’s a small point, but Blake is described as “a golden-haired man, tall and broad-shouldered.” So who’s the handsome dark haired man on the cover of the Kindle book?
There are some errors, most dealing with the change in POV; for instance:
“His eyes quickly swept over me, catching on the reddened flesh of her knees.” The move from third to first person POV missed part of this sentence. It’s Victoria narrating and the flesh is on her own knees and it should read, “…on the reddened flesh of MY knees.”
“Being very average herself, I looked up to almost everyone.” Again, Victoria is narrating and she is commenting on her average height. The change from third to first person was not successful in this sentence either. It should read, “Being very average MYSELF….”
“’Hey,’ Victoria said, pitching my voice low.” Again, Victoria is speaking and again, the change from third to first person POV was not done well. It should read, “’Hey,’ I said, pitching my voice low.” And again, this is an oddly contrived act. In third person it is appropriate; in first person, it is a little devious.
The book moved so slowly! This was partly caused by the constant iteration of character traits. There is a great deal of unnecessary repetition. At 35% completion, I started speedreading through the repetitive narratives. At 50% I began skimming and at 75% I started skipping whole pages. I did not miss a thing. The villain was precisely whom I anticipated and he performed exactly as expected. The writer laid down more than enough clues to figure it all out.
I rated this book 2½ stars and rounded down because while the bones of the story were good, the execution was not. The characters were remakes of the first (#0.5) novella. I was disappointed in Victoria who could have been a worthy heroine for the former marine, Blake, who deserved someone with a personality. It was an average story of a common trope that probably should have been left in third person, even with the other books in the series being written in first person. Nix on the other books in this series.