The Kelping

by Jan Stinchcomb

Doctor Craig Bo has everything: a perfect wife and children, a thriving dermatology practice, and a house in a lovely coastal town. Nobody is surprised when he is chosen to be the Sea King of Beachside in his hometown’s annual festival.

But after the festival Craig’s world turns upside down. Something starts growing on his skin. His son tells him a story about a sinister mermaid who lives in the attic of the local history museum. And his beautiful wife, Penelope, can no longer hide her dark connection to the sea.

As Craig grapples with his own secrets and misdeeds, he finally understands the woman he married and the plans she has for him.

Book 9 in the Rewind-or-Die series: imagine your local movie rental store back in the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s, remember all those fantastic covers. Remember taking those movies home and watching in awe as the stories unfolded in nasty rainbows of gore, remember the atmosphere and textures. Remember the blood.

Genres: Horror, Novella, Fiction

125 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 28, 2020

About the author

Jan Stinchcomb is a writer living in Southern California. She is the author of Verushka (JournalStone), The Kelping (Unnerving), The Blood Trail (Red Bird Chapbooks) and Find the Girl (Main Street Rag).

Reviews

[inciminci · Rating 3 out of 5]

Confusing is what this book is…
Dr. Craig is a vain, shallow, self-centered plastic surgeon who lives in the equally vain and shallow seaside town of Beachside with his equally vain and shallow wife Penelope. During their leisure time they like to post pictures on the social media platform Yay Me! or ditch their children to have sex. What he does in his leisure time is to ditch her to have sex with other women, even though he assures she is his absolute “Queen”.
When Craig is chosen the Sea King of Beachside in the annual festival, that’s not only an opportunity for him to boost his prestige, it is also the beginning of a really weird transformation period for him and a chance to see the real nature of his gorgeous wife.
There are so many elements in this book that are promising yet failed to come together in a meaningful way. I appreciate the idea of putting the unlikeable, unrelatable Craig in the focus of a horror story but I ended up not being able to figure out what exactly happened to him and why (I have a guess, though). Penelope’s background and what’s going on in the attic of the history museum are much more interesting than Craig.

[Sherry Fundin · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Kelping by Jan Stinchcomb is a novella, a quick read at 67 pages.

Just looking at the cover made me want it. Who doesn’t love a mermaid and The Kelping reads like a B movie.

Craig Bo wanted to be Sea King, got to be Sea King….and so much more.

The Kelping is a different kind of mermaid story. Not really a romance, not really humorous, not really suspenseful…hard to describe but a mermaid memoir of a wife, husband, two kids and the life in the beach town of Beachside.

I always enjoy a good mermaid story and finding a new to me author. Good job, Jan.

I voluntarily reviewed a free copy of The Kelping by Jan Stinchcomb.

See more at fundinmental

[A · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had high hopes for this as I generally like tales set by the sea. It started off well and the annual Sea King contest appealed the Stardew Valley fan within me. I just love these weird small town traditions. I also loved the description of the museum although from that part onwards the story meandered a little. The narrative became repetitive to the point where it felt like I was reading the same paragraph twice (and I hadn't even had my daily ration of Merlot). Shame, as I think there's a good story in here somewhere, it perhaps just needed shortening and sharpening up a little.

[Alex | | findingmontauk1 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am really falling in love with this Rewind or Die series presented by Unnerving! The Kelping is just the latest read for me in this series and it stays true to the characteristics and features that make all of these books successful for me!

With The Kelping we get small coastal towns (which I love a small town but I REALLY love a small COASTAL town even more), mermaids, and betrayal! Stinchcomb crafts quite the punchy story in less than 70 pages, and it is one that I could read an entire book about! I would love to get to know these characters and their backgrounds even more... to see their previous struggles and growth and everything that led them to their current state.

This is a quick read and it will grab your attention immediately... check it out! 3 stars from me!

[J.D. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Summary

Craig Bo really does seem to have it all. He lives in a small coastal town, is a successful dermatologist and has a beautiful wife and two children at home.
Despite being a born local of the town, he had no idea how dangerous of a place it could be. But he is about to find out after being crowned the King of Beachside.

Personal Opinion

I didn't like the MC in this one at all, but I think that may have been the point with how things ended up turning out.
The Kelping did deliver on the small town beachfront setting with mermaids though.
While I really enjoyed the idea, this is one of those short reads that feels a bit rushed. It would have benefited from being stretched out into a full length story instead of a novella in order to give a little more background and explanation along the way.

[ChelseaRenee Lovell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Looooove the idea of this mermaid, weird stylized horror, the execution could’ve been done a little better if it was a little longer, but overall great read. Making the reading of the Rewind or Die series so fun!

[Badseedgirl · Rating 3 out of 5]

2022 HA Summer Challenge Aquatic Horror Book 1 of 10

This was most assuredly a creature feature and it is most assuredly aquatic horror. But after reading it, I just honestly can not tell you what kind it was!

This was Rewind or Die book 9 in the series.

[Valerie - Cats Luv Coffee Book Reviews · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Kelping by Jan Stinchcomb is number nine in Unnerving's Rewind or Die series. Those of you expecting a horror-filled flesh-eating mermaid tale might find it a little tame. What's inside these 67 pages is a more insidious tale of mermaids infiltrating a sleepy little seaside town. It starts out quite strong with out-of-towner Nick meeting a beautiful woman on the beach and ends with Nick caught up in a deadly Beachside tradition. Then we meet Dr. Craig Bo.

Bo is a pretty despicable human. From the outside in, he has the perfect life with a beautiful wife and kids but that's not good enough for Dr. Bo. A big donor, a family man, the town's prominent dermatologist, he sees himself as a god, personally responsible for the beauty of the faces around him. He has a dirty little secret though. He's being blackmailed after an indiscretion at the beach one night. Not that it's the first time. He has a long history but it's okay because he never kissed them and it wasn't with minors or men. It was easy to lie to his wife, Penelope because he loved her so much. Gag.

After the Kelping, a tradition where the year's Sea King is crowned and then layered with sea kelp, something bizarre starts happening. He slowly realizes that there's much more to the women of his town and his wife that he ever knew. The kelp starts overtaking his body as he turns into another being—one that craves the sea. And he's the kind of man who gets what he deserves.


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[Becca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to the author for providing me with an e-ARC of The Kelping in exchange for an honest review!

Me? Being a year behind in reviews? Sounds about right.

Although it took me way too long to get to The Kelping, I'm so glad I finally did! Especially since I'm currently in the midst of a killer mermaid obsession. These Rewind or Die books are so much fun & The Kelping is not an exception to this.

Our main character, Dr. Craig Bo is a real POS & this story is the perfect example of he got what he deserved.

This book is around 70 pages, so it's a super quick read -- the only thing that stopped me from loving this book is that I wish I could have had more. More horror. More mermaid lore. More Craig suffering. I definitely felt like there was some juice missing from this story, but again it's only around 70 pages so I can't ask for too much.

[Nele · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was okay, but it had potential to be actually really cool! I feel like there were great themes and things (for example the obsession with beauty) but they just didn’t really come together. Some scenes went on for forever (Craig talking to the surfer historian in the library oh my god it went on for AGES), and then other things that were actually interesting, like Penelope’s heritage for example, didn’t not get explored enough or at all. The ending was way too abrupt and made me go, wait what? The horror elements were fun in a B-movie kind of way, but I would have loved a little more body horror honestly. It was an okay short read!

[Suz Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

“All marriages were lies, or at least shared fantasies. Theirs was a fragile choreography at best, a blend of improvisation and role-play, but he was committed to it. He needed it.”

Once Craig becomes crowned the Sea King in a local festival and is subjected to the keeping ritual, he develops a new perspective on his life, his otherworldly wife, and his place in the world.

This story gives a new perspective in mermaid mythology and the mysteries of the sea. I really liked how Craig becomes aware of the supernatural that’s always been a part of the seaside town. His young kids, Dash and Daphne, make great characters. I loved how a little free library becomes part of the story.

THE KELPLING, which makes a fun beach read, is another great installment in Unnerving’s awesome Rewind Or Die series.

[Meg Tuite · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stinchcomb knows how to create, build, grab the reader in the first scene with what felt very cinematic! Nice edge, kickass creation of the perfect couple, family, yeah right? And then, such retribution, I wish there was more! This POS deserved to be pummelled, drowned, gaslighted, every day of his life. "The Kelping" was mesmerizing and a non-stop read! My only wish again, was for more! LOVE Stinchcomb's blunt terror! Fixating! Get a copy!

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh, I liked this a lot. Of the Rewind or Die's I've read, this one isn't as gory, and maybe not even viewed as horrifying (in the beginning)...but that ending! If it wasn't for some convenient monologuing, I think this could've been 5 stars. It had a lot of things I loved - an unlikeable character, cryptids, and vengeance.

[Hannah · Rating 2 out of 5]

perhaps, if you have a gorgeous feral mermaid wife, you should not cheat on her constantly. may work out better for you in the end!

[Chloe N. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not your average mermaid book. It is a dark and fun thrill ride with macabre humor, scares, and some very creepy moments. Highly recommend for anyone looking for a short horror book, that may keep you out of the water this summer!

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love the concept of the “Rewind or Die” series of kind of classic-style horror novels, but the quality seems to vary a lot. I give Jan Stinchcomb’s The Kelping (Rewind or Die) a 3/5.

Craig is a dermatologist creating beautiful faces in the lovely town of Beachside. He’s a shoe-in for the Sea King Festival’s crowning of the Sea King, and his wife Penelope takes getting to be the Sea Queen very seriously. But someone seems to be trying to blackmail him about “that little cutie on the bike path,” and, well, Craig is a serial adulterer. Penelope knows, and seems to forgive him, although she wants him to stop. He’s tried, but he always falls into his old habits. After the Sea King festival, something strange starts to affect him–and he’s afraid it’s going to kill him.

The first half of this book or so was… shallow. Very surface level. I never really felt like I got a handle on any of the characters. Other than Craig, they all had one, maybe two traits, and that was it. Then he meets up with a man named “Dude Pelikan” who info-dumps a massive amount of information on him, and we’re shoved straight down to the depths with no real transition. The latter half of the book is much better and more interesting than the first, despite the massive info-dump on Dude’s part. I think this would have been a lot better as a short story that focused on the second half of the story and didn’t try to include so many unexplained, unfinished ideas (see the spoiler paragraph below for some of the questions I was left with).

SPOILER WARNING: There are a bunch of things that never get dealt with. What was with the odd cake Craig found? What was the deal with the “kiss” the mermaid in the attic wanted passed along to him before the festival? What about the small woman who waded into the sea, and why did she waylay Craig? Why did none of this happen to the previous “Sea King”? Was it really the kelp and odd “glaze” that did this to him, or was it that small woman, or was it because he didn’t get the kiss, or was it Penelope’s doing, or was it a combination of some of these things? Why would someone think that attempting to blackmail Craig would be the best way to get to talk to him alone? End spoilers.

This is an interesting book with a clever idea, but it really takes a while to get into the meat of things.


Original review posted on my blog: https://www.errantdreams.com/2021/04/...

[Ryan Bradford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super weird (in a good way), super engaging. It's like reading an R-rated Goosebumps. Loved it.

[Audra (ouija.reads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yet another entry in the Rewind or Die series, this novella follows Dr. Craig Bo as he learns that the cute beach festival he participated in is way more than he bargained for.

I found the narrative a little tangled and confusing, and desperately wished that the main character had been anyone but Craig. Perhaps if the story's perspective had been shared with his wife Penelope, I would have found the story more compelling. Craig's infidelity and self-absorption made him unlikable and you definitely root for his downfall. But I just wish the story hadn't been so much about him, because the other things going on in this little town seemed so much more interesting.

I wanted more background about the mermaid lore—the kelping itself was such a weird idea that I'd never heard of. And what about that mermaid on the top floor of the museum?! I need more of that.

[Brennan LaFaro · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rewind or Die, checklist - volume 9 edition: Creature features, check. Slashers, check. Shapeshifters, check. Food demons, unexpected, but check. Christian theology, check. Mermaids. Okay, we haven’t hit that yet. Let’s do it.

 Doctor Craig Bo is a successful dermatologist in a beachside town, a pillar of the community. Also a bit of a philanderer, but we’ll get there. Craig is named the town’s Sea King, an honor given every year to an outstanding citizen. After the event takes place, Craig develops a bit of an interesting skin condition that keeps getting worse and leads him on a journey of discovery.

Full disclosure, I didn’t like the main character. Now, I realize that I’m not meant to. He’s supposed to be something of a selfish asshole, but he’s the kind of irredeemable character who gets their comeuppance in a short story and everyone goes home happy. Stretching Dr. Bo over 115 pages and asking the reader to care where his journey ends up is a stretch.

The Kelping does have some redeeming qualities, however. As mentioned before, the inclusion of mermaids/sea people is a horror trope that could stand further exploration not pertaining to a Lovecraft mythos, as we get here. Stinchcomb also does a nice job of setting up a reveal that happens late in the story, which is very subtly broadcast early on, and I did not anticipate.

Fans of aquatic horror, body horror, and small towns with a secret just may find something to like in The Kelping.

[B. · Rating 2 out of 5]

The premise of this book was excellent, but the execution left much to be desired. I've come to expect more from the Rewind or Die series. First and foremost, this book was in dire need of editing. I'm not even talking about using a line editor or proofing editor at this point. I'm talking about turning on grammar and spell check in Word. "Of" instead of "for," things like that littered throughout the whole manuscript; things that Word, or any other word processing program for that matter, would pick up on. That's just plain sloppy. On top of the laziness that leads to errors of this nature and the unwillingness to do the absolute bare minimum to get this corrected, the story was disjointed and dozens of threads were created only to never be important to the story at all. As a result, the story wandered, it meandered, it.... took a long walk off a short pier, dusted its hands and went, "yup, that was good enough." This story had potential, based on the premise alone, and that potential was far from actualized. Unless you're doing the same thing I am and working to get all the books in this series on the shelf for your collection, I advise skipping this one. It's just not worth it.

[Damien Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would never trust a ritual called The Kelping. It sounds like something they would do in the movie Society. I don’t want a butthead. I do, however, want to read more from Jan Stinchcomb because this was a banger. Writing from the POV of a character that is a real POS(I’m full of horrid dad jokes for this review) and making that characters arc interesting to a reader is tough. Stinchcomb does that with the best here, never once did I find myself liking or relating to the main character but I had to keep reading along to find out what sort of scary seaside shenanigans he was about to fall victim too. I don’t want to write anymore at risk of more dad jokes (I’m at three!) but I do want to mention this book is for anyone who is a fan of unraveling and ancient fairy tale-esque horror. K thx.

[Thomas Joyce · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Kelping makes for a fairly unique take on the monstrous mermaid story, but maybe doesn't go deep enough with the idea, for my personal liking. The main character does start off very unlikeable, and that doesn't change until the very end of the book (and even then he is only slightly more bearable), but the supporting cast are more interesting, especially the MC's wife. It is a pretty good tale, overall.

[Becky Robison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you like B horror movies from the 70s and 80s? That’s the vibe I get from Jan Stinchcomb’s novel The Kelping, in which handsome-doctor-who-has-it-all Craig Bo is crowned Sea King in his hometown’s local festival, only to discover that the sea is demanding much more than he’s prepared to give. Think Jaws + The Fly + I Know What You Did Last Summer, but a book. Spooky season’s coming up—you should give it a try!

This review was originally published on my blog.

[Claire Hopple · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Don't worry about who this is. Put five hundred dollars in a brown paper bag in the Little Free Library at the corner of 3rd and Cortes. That should take care of everything."

Jan will take care of you, reader, with this delightful romp of a horror-literary crossover hit.

[Lilly · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just awful

I’ll break this book down into pros and cons

Cons: absolutely 0 explanation of anything
Conversations were clunky at best
The entire book read like a run on sentence

Pro: it was short enough that I was able to finish it before completely wanting to gouge my eyes out

[Nikki in Niagara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr Bo is crowned Sea King at the annual Sea King Festival. Afterwards, he gets a peculiar rash and realizes something is very wrong and that his wife is not who she says she is. Really enjoyed this one. It's definitely too short. I could see this fleshed out into a full novel.

[Norman Miller · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick read with some decent fun parts.

[Wendy · Rating 2 out of 5]

What the hell did I just read?? I'm speechless. LOL.

[MollyK · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid 3 stars. I liked the story itself, but the beginning was too abrupt and the pacing was a bit rushed.

[Kevin · Rating 3 out of 5]

A decent, if somewhat unsurprising, tale of mermaid "horror". Well-written, but lacking in any real suspense.