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Out!: How to Be Your Authentic Self
The ultimate coming out survival guide by queer and trans activist-and social media superstar-Miles McKenna Activist Miles McKenna came out on his YouTube channel in 2017, documenting his transition to help other teens navigate their identities and take charge of their own coming-out stories. From that wisdom comes Out!, the ultimate coming-out survival guide. Find validation, inspiration, and support for your questions big and small-whether you're exploring your identity or seeking to understand the experience of an awesome queer person in your life.
Audio CD
First published May 26, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
October 9, 2020
Thanks to the publisher for providing an advanced audio copy of Out! How to Be Your Authentic Self.
This is so, so well done. I didn't realize that Miles was a popular youtuber until after starting to listen to the audiobook and was worried that would hurt the experience but this is honestly perfect whether or not your a fan of his (and if like me you weren't, it'll turn you into one).
Part self help guide, part collection of personal antidotes, Out! explores so many different facets of coming out to yourself and the people around you. I honestly loved all of it but some things I want to highlight are:
- this book's repeated reference to making sure you're in a safe environment to come out! If you've read my reviews on pretty much any other piece of queer targeted media, I'm really bothered by how often coming out is portrayed as something every queer kid needs to do for everyone in their lives no matter the potential costs. McKenna is very cool and healthy about it here
- Resources! This book is full of links and resources to help readers get more information and support. Most of them are America based, but there are so many provided that it'd probably be a good starting point regardless of where in the world you are
- Discussions about changing your labels! Miles has changed the label he's given multiple times and talks about how you don't always need to get it right the first time around which honestly needs to be a lot more normalized. His attitude towards labels and their purpose as a whole was really refreshing and a delight to listen to.
So yeah, this was really, really well done. If you are debating/struggling with coming out in any way (Miles is trans masculine and queer, I didn't catch if he labels that queerness but if someone does know what he uses and wants to give me the right term, that'd be lovely. I'm personally a cis queer woman and could still relate to and benefit from most of what he discusses here so even if your labels don't quite match up with his, give this a go) this is a really good resource to check out.
This is so, so well done. I didn't realize that Miles was a popular youtuber until after starting to listen to the audiobook and was worried that would hurt the experience but this is honestly perfect whether or not your a fan of his (and if like me you weren't, it'll turn you into one).
Part self help guide, part collection of personal antidotes, Out! explores so many different facets of coming out to yourself and the people around you. I honestly loved all of it but some things I want to highlight are:
- this book's repeated reference to making sure you're in a safe environment to come out! If you've read my reviews on pretty much any other piece of queer targeted media, I'm really bothered by how often coming out is portrayed as something every queer kid needs to do for everyone in their lives no matter the potential costs. McKenna is very cool and healthy about it here
- Resources! This book is full of links and resources to help readers get more information and support. Most of them are America based, but there are so many provided that it'd probably be a good starting point regardless of where in the world you are
- Discussions about changing your labels! Miles has changed the label he's given multiple times and talks about how you don't always need to get it right the first time around which honestly needs to be a lot more normalized. His attitude towards labels and their purpose as a whole was really refreshing and a delight to listen to.
So yeah, this was really, really well done. If you are debating/struggling with coming out in any way (Miles is trans masculine and queer, I didn't catch if he labels that queerness but if someone does know what he uses and wants to give me the right term, that'd be lovely. I'm personally a cis queer woman and could still relate to and benefit from most of what he discusses here so even if your labels don't quite match up with his, give this a go) this is a really good resource to check out.
April 9, 2021
This short book is excellent on audio and I recommend it really for everyone. Whether you’re a teen exploring what coming out might mean for you, a curious and supportive cis-het friend, parent or teacher, or even an adult coming out for the first (or third!) time - this volume has something for everyone.
March 11, 2021
this was nice—it’s just not for me.
miles mckenna does a really great job of breaking down the coming out process as well as how to go about coming out if/when you’re ready. i would have loved to have something like this 5 years ago, but this didn’t provide any new information to me personally. i plan on donating my copy to a library so that someone who does need a book like this can get access to it for free.
miles mckenna does a really great job of breaking down the coming out process as well as how to go about coming out if/when you’re ready. i would have loved to have something like this 5 years ago, but this didn’t provide any new information to me personally. i plan on donating my copy to a library so that someone who does need a book like this can get access to it for free.
November 15, 2020
Although Out! is aimed at a young audience, it would absolutely work as a resource for curious older folks and loved ones. We’ve all heard “it gets better”, but Out! is the book about what we can all do in the meantime. It's part self-help guide, part personal scrapbook...
My full review of Out! is up now on Keeping Up With The Penguins.
My full review of Out! is up now on Keeping Up With The Penguins.
October 15, 2020
Thank you NetGalley for providing me with an advanced copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.
4.5 stars
I've been watching Miles McKenna's videos since I was in middle school--I am now in college. I've grown up watching his channel steadily grow, but more importantly, I've seen the way he has changed over the years, becoming more confident with himself and open with his experiences.
Miles provides insight on how to be true to yourself and survive in a world that may not always be accepting (but there are many wonderful people and resources out there!) of the LGBTQ+ community. A mix of down-to-earth stories, advice, and humor, I found this book to be quite inspiring. I wouldn't necessarily say I learned anything new from it, but having thoughts and experiences that I relate to said out loud was a much more emotional experience than I was expecting. I think the audiobook format, narrated by Miles, was perfect for the intentions of this book. Regardless of your identity, and regardless of where you are at accepting or defining this identity, you're likely to find at least some of your thoughts, feelings, or experiences echoes in Out!.
4.5 stars
I've been watching Miles McKenna's videos since I was in middle school--I am now in college. I've grown up watching his channel steadily grow, but more importantly, I've seen the way he has changed over the years, becoming more confident with himself and open with his experiences.
Miles provides insight on how to be true to yourself and survive in a world that may not always be accepting (but there are many wonderful people and resources out there!) of the LGBTQ+ community. A mix of down-to-earth stories, advice, and humor, I found this book to be quite inspiring. I wouldn't necessarily say I learned anything new from it, but having thoughts and experiences that I relate to said out loud was a much more emotional experience than I was expecting. I think the audiobook format, narrated by Miles, was perfect for the intentions of this book. Regardless of your identity, and regardless of where you are at accepting or defining this identity, you're likely to find at least some of your thoughts, feelings, or experiences echoes in Out!.
December 3, 2020
Miles has good manners and that's what matters.
November 4, 2020
This nonfiction is very teen friendly. It has so many pictures, fanart from Miles's fans, uses diction and voice that will appeal to teens who are asking the very questions he addresses: How do I come out? how do I tell my friend? my family? my grandparents? strangers? How do I live my life everyday without being afraid of letting other people know I'm LGBTQIA+? Miles also talks about his journey from his childhood, to understand his gender and sexual identities, and so on. Now, if there was one of these for adults, that's the next step!
January 23, 2023
A nice book about being trans and coming out, but it wasn't for me, being out of the closet already for a couple of years and having done the things Miles gave advice about.
I really liked Miles' diary fragments.
I really liked Miles' diary fragments.
October 10, 2020
The audio ARC of this book was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
I really enjoyed Miles' narration! It seemed like a podcast version of one of his YouTube videos. I liked listening to the audiobook because I simply like Miles, but I feel like it would have been a better experience to read the physical book. I'm assuming there's a bunch of cool pictures and stuff in the physical book that we just don't get from the audiobook.
Besides that, the book doesn't really bring anything new to the table, at least for a person who is already pretty confident in their sexuality. The one thing I really liked was the discussion on changing labels because I feel like that's not really talked about much, but everything else I feel like could be found on any queer YouTuber's Youtube channel or a blog post.
I'm still giving this a 4/5 stars though because I love Miles and honestly think this is a pretty cool book!!
I really enjoyed Miles' narration! It seemed like a podcast version of one of his YouTube videos. I liked listening to the audiobook because I simply like Miles, but I feel like it would have been a better experience to read the physical book. I'm assuming there's a bunch of cool pictures and stuff in the physical book that we just don't get from the audiobook.
Besides that, the book doesn't really bring anything new to the table, at least for a person who is already pretty confident in their sexuality. The one thing I really liked was the discussion on changing labels because I feel like that's not really talked about much, but everything else I feel like could be found on any queer YouTuber's Youtube channel or a blog post.
I'm still giving this a 4/5 stars though because I love Miles and honestly think this is a pretty cool book!!
October 18, 2020
Miles McKenna is a vlogger, actor, LGBTQIA+ advocate. This book adds author to that impressive list!
OUT! was published this month - [#gifted] it’s a life story compilation, come support and advice diary. It’s presented in a funky, fun popish way and provokes all the feels in discussing very serious topics and addressing very serious questions. It’s frank, honest and genuine.
There is SO MUCH THAT’s POSITIVE with this book. It’s sensitively approached and Miles gives different perspectives on the same topics which is really helpful, meaning this book can be provided to a broad cross section of people whatever their reason is for needing it.
Thanks to Allen and Unwin for this one!
OUT! was published this month - [#gifted] it’s a life story compilation, come support and advice diary. It’s presented in a funky, fun popish way and provokes all the feels in discussing very serious topics and addressing very serious questions. It’s frank, honest and genuine.
There is SO MUCH THAT’s POSITIVE with this book. It’s sensitively approached and Miles gives different perspectives on the same topics which is really helpful, meaning this book can be provided to a broad cross section of people whatever their reason is for needing it.
Thanks to Allen and Unwin for this one!
January 7, 2021
I’ve followed Miles on YouTube for many years so I was curious to read his book. I think it was good but I’m just the wrong demographic, so personally while I did enjoy it it was nothing new. But I think it’s a valid resource for pre teens and early teens.
February 28, 2021
fun, honest and approachable advice for those questioning their gender identity, thinking of coming out, and allies alike. I hadn't heard of Miles before this book, but I'm definitely going to check out some of his videos. The world needs more good people like this.
July 6, 2024
Great book! It’s like a memoir and informational. Easily accessible for a younger audience (16<). Some terms and phrases are a little outdated, but overall the information is still useful!!
December 3, 2020
The rest of my favorite quotes:
“Love mixed with fear can be mistaken as hate.” pg 54
“ Eventually, I started to feel a sense of contentment inside that I didn’t realize I could, but the people I loved weren’t willing to go on that journey with me.” pg 58
“By slowly excepting my truth in terms of attraction and sexuality, other parts of my identity began to fall into place.” pg 59
“The depth of my independence and the conviction I felt in my identity.” pg 60
“Reading inspired me to live life like I’m living a story.” pg 63
“In a world that brainwashes us into thinking that we are born with default identities, there may be a necessary period of unlearning.” pg 74
“Old age comes [with] an attitude of peace towards things that don’t concern you.” pg 90
“Sometimes when you come out, it’s like you’re a ghost in your own home. Life goes on, and you’re treated like nothing ever happened, an erasure of the truth so people around you can preserve the person they think of as you.” pg 91
“I think a lot of people lose their chance to have awesome relationships with their LGBTQ+ relatives because of this lack of positive and accurate representation.” pg 93
“As a person coming out, it’s hard to be the one to give all the needed information to those around you.“ pg 93
“What felt out of place in your life before you realized how you identify?“ pg 97
“Coming out as non-binary was me giving myself the freedom to do whatever I felt was unique to me, without the pressure of masculine/feminine labels.“ pg 126
“I don’t think there’s any outside words that can magically solve the problem.“ pg 127
“I hope I am not too sad for the people I care about.“ pg 129
“Seeing other people as outwardly self-confident gave me the silent OK to express my own fashion identity with confidence. This is also some thing I hope to pass along to people who find me online. I began to realize that “cute“ doesn’t exist. At least not in the way it had been taught to me by the generation before mine with a narrow concept of gender expression.” pg 135
“If someone questions why they don’t have a straight parade, they should be thankful that they don’t need one. And if someone tries to silence you for celebrating your queerness, remember those people who identified just like you yelled louder.” pg 146
(Regarding family or unsupportive folks) “So yes, our relationship isn’t the same; It’s better because it’s real. With coming into your own and coming out, the best love you are going to receive is a love that intended for you.“ pg 172
“If you are living under the same roof as your parents, it’s OK to guard parts of your identity out of safety and preservation of your mental health.“ pg 172
“Love mixed with fear can be mistaken as hate.” pg 54
“ Eventually, I started to feel a sense of contentment inside that I didn’t realize I could, but the people I loved weren’t willing to go on that journey with me.” pg 58
“By slowly excepting my truth in terms of attraction and sexuality, other parts of my identity began to fall into place.” pg 59
“The depth of my independence and the conviction I felt in my identity.” pg 60
“Reading inspired me to live life like I’m living a story.” pg 63
“In a world that brainwashes us into thinking that we are born with default identities, there may be a necessary period of unlearning.” pg 74
“Old age comes [with] an attitude of peace towards things that don’t concern you.” pg 90
“Sometimes when you come out, it’s like you’re a ghost in your own home. Life goes on, and you’re treated like nothing ever happened, an erasure of the truth so people around you can preserve the person they think of as you.” pg 91
“I think a lot of people lose their chance to have awesome relationships with their LGBTQ+ relatives because of this lack of positive and accurate representation.” pg 93
“As a person coming out, it’s hard to be the one to give all the needed information to those around you.“ pg 93
“What felt out of place in your life before you realized how you identify?“ pg 97
“Coming out as non-binary was me giving myself the freedom to do whatever I felt was unique to me, without the pressure of masculine/feminine labels.“ pg 126
“I don’t think there’s any outside words that can magically solve the problem.“ pg 127
“I hope I am not too sad for the people I care about.“ pg 129
“Seeing other people as outwardly self-confident gave me the silent OK to express my own fashion identity with confidence. This is also some thing I hope to pass along to people who find me online. I began to realize that “cute“ doesn’t exist. At least not in the way it had been taught to me by the generation before mine with a narrow concept of gender expression.” pg 135
“If someone questions why they don’t have a straight parade, they should be thankful that they don’t need one. And if someone tries to silence you for celebrating your queerness, remember those people who identified just like you yelled louder.” pg 146
(Regarding family or unsupportive folks) “So yes, our relationship isn’t the same; It’s better because it’s real. With coming into your own and coming out, the best love you are going to receive is a love that intended for you.“ pg 172
“If you are living under the same roof as your parents, it’s OK to guard parts of your identity out of safety and preservation of your mental health.“ pg 172
May 30, 2021
Tbh It just wasn’t for me and I didn’t gain any new information from it. However, I think it would have been very helpful 3-4 years ago when I wasn’t out. If you are a closeted queer teen who needs validation and guidance, I highly recommend it.
October 3, 2021
It's fitting that this is the last book I finished recently, considering I myself am now OUT!
I'm OUT! everywhere; work, school, family, friends! Social media is probably the last place I really need to do any heavy lifting. Might as well start here. It'll probably get corny, but that's okay with me.
I've been on this website for SEVEN whole years!! This profile is older and more active than any other social media I use. It's even older than my primary email, and that thing is old. I periodically make and then delete social media accounts, except this one. This one stuck because of the community, because of the escape that reading has always provided me, and honestly, because of the anonymity it provided along with all that. I could read whatever I wanted and tell all you guys about it, and no one else in my life would know my inner thoughts, and no one would connect this profile to me in real life. That freedom was something I needed desperately when I was just starting high school, dealing with an abusive home situation, and just trying to figure myself out. In a lot of ways, I feel like I know myself best, and have grown the most, through the interactions I've had on here and the books that brought me here in the first place. So thank you guys for being part of that.
Miles McKenna is a YouTuber I watched in my most formative teenage years. The minute that I realized I didn't believe in god when I was 15, and that I was also some type of queer, I sought out like-minded people. Even before he started his transition, Miles was someone I loved to watch because I had finally found someone I related to. Finally, here was another AFAB person who called himself gay instead of lesbian, who grew out his leg hair only to dye it, who made incessant dick jokes and made fun of the Westboro Baptist Church, who wanted his hair cut short since he was a child but never had that freedom, and who had this chaotic energy I absolutely adored even though I was pretty mellow in real life. I felt like he was openly being exactly how I felt inside, and I wanted to be like him even before either of us knew what was going on gender-wise.
Then a couple things happened. One, my Twitter account where I had been openly questioning my sexuality and gender was no longer a secret from my mother, and that caused some serious issues at home, including an abuse claim. Two, Miles came out as nonbinary after I realized I was no longer in a safe environment, and I related to every single word he was saying on a deep level; this terrified me. Three, I realized there was absolutely no way for me to leave this environment except to wait it out for a few years and try not to make things worse. So I did. And that led to some serious repression, dissociation, and late nights wondering if I would have to defend myself from death or should just avoid that conflict altogether by leaving this earth on my own terms. In the end, I turned to books, I turned to journaling, I turned to school and show choir, and I surrounded myself with queer non-religious people who wouldn't ask too many questions. And I stopped watching Miles, just as he was about to show me how beautiful my life could be if I accepted myself, and thought about my future in terms I could relate to. Instead I went back to how I had been before I started questioning; committing myself to a life without a partner, without friends, in as complete isolation as I could achieve in a highly social world to ease the incredible discomfort I felt about myself. I would be like the main character in Island of the Blue Dolphins, genderless and alone. I would be the artistic aunt who was more of an enigma than a person, going to more protests than social or family functions. I would lay down with the intent to astral project for years at a time. I would become more typewriter than human.
These fantasies didn't last very long because I craved validation. I wanted so much to be validated as someone masculine, and this took on many different forms; besting my brother at the shooting range, growing my leg hair to unsightly lengths, dating only bi men, craving a relationship with a woman so I could be the more obviously masculine one, doing jobs I hated in order to learn how men interacted with each other and how I could emulate it, absolutely adoring gay relationships in media and relating effortlessly. Beneath the surface, of course, there was a reason for this that I now know goes beyond gender expression, or sexism, or anything else. I'm transgender, specifically transmasculine, and have been for as long as I can remember despite never having the language or freedom to express it. Part of the reason for this was intentional repression, and part of it was an inability to freely be myself.
But now I am in a place in my life where I feel limitless. I have wonderful queer friends who have supported me through my questioning, and I've only made more as I've allowed myself to be present. To be in my skin. And to do whatever makes me feel most comfortable in it. I've stepped into myself with a confidence I thought was reserved for other people, inaccessible to me. I thought I could live my life in the shadows and let people like Miles take the spotlight, that I could just live vicariously through other people's happiness, that I would only ever know contentment. But that is no way to live. For the first time in my life, I've experienced unadulterated joy. It comes with its hardships, but it's an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. This feeling of authenticity and freedom is my ideal world.
During Pride this September, I went all three days with a commitment to be absolutely authentic, to be 100% myself, and to shy away from nothing. It was the first time I really felt like I was on the right path. The first time I really felt like there wasn't any doubt about what I wanted to do next, any doubt about who I am. It set a foundation for any other hardships or worries to walk across, and any steps forward to continue to build upward. I no longer feel like I am constantly shifting, adrift in a world of sand dunes. I feel like I've set a foundation to make my home on, and whatever else may come, it's here to stay.
How did this book help? Hearing Miles tell his story and offer hope gave me the courage to accept that I need to start living my life. And a big part of starting to live my life was being OUT! So here I am! I'm OUT! I feel like I've closed the last page of an old book and started the sequel. It's new, it's exciting, and so many things about my life are going to change for the better. I hope to bring my love of books and the small community I'm part of on here with me.
Thanks,
Jasper
(he/they)
I'm OUT! everywhere; work, school, family, friends! Social media is probably the last place I really need to do any heavy lifting. Might as well start here. It'll probably get corny, but that's okay with me.
I've been on this website for SEVEN whole years!! This profile is older and more active than any other social media I use. It's even older than my primary email, and that thing is old. I periodically make and then delete social media accounts, except this one. This one stuck because of the community, because of the escape that reading has always provided me, and honestly, because of the anonymity it provided along with all that. I could read whatever I wanted and tell all you guys about it, and no one else in my life would know my inner thoughts, and no one would connect this profile to me in real life. That freedom was something I needed desperately when I was just starting high school, dealing with an abusive home situation, and just trying to figure myself out. In a lot of ways, I feel like I know myself best, and have grown the most, through the interactions I've had on here and the books that brought me here in the first place. So thank you guys for being part of that.
Miles McKenna is a YouTuber I watched in my most formative teenage years. The minute that I realized I didn't believe in god when I was 15, and that I was also some type of queer, I sought out like-minded people. Even before he started his transition, Miles was someone I loved to watch because I had finally found someone I related to. Finally, here was another AFAB person who called himself gay instead of lesbian, who grew out his leg hair only to dye it, who made incessant dick jokes and made fun of the Westboro Baptist Church, who wanted his hair cut short since he was a child but never had that freedom, and who had this chaotic energy I absolutely adored even though I was pretty mellow in real life. I felt like he was openly being exactly how I felt inside, and I wanted to be like him even before either of us knew what was going on gender-wise.
Then a couple things happened. One, my Twitter account where I had been openly questioning my sexuality and gender was no longer a secret from my mother, and that caused some serious issues at home, including an abuse claim. Two, Miles came out as nonbinary after I realized I was no longer in a safe environment, and I related to every single word he was saying on a deep level; this terrified me. Three, I realized there was absolutely no way for me to leave this environment except to wait it out for a few years and try not to make things worse. So I did. And that led to some serious repression, dissociation, and late nights wondering if I would have to defend myself from death or should just avoid that conflict altogether by leaving this earth on my own terms. In the end, I turned to books, I turned to journaling, I turned to school and show choir, and I surrounded myself with queer non-religious people who wouldn't ask too many questions. And I stopped watching Miles, just as he was about to show me how beautiful my life could be if I accepted myself, and thought about my future in terms I could relate to. Instead I went back to how I had been before I started questioning; committing myself to a life without a partner, without friends, in as complete isolation as I could achieve in a highly social world to ease the incredible discomfort I felt about myself. I would be like the main character in Island of the Blue Dolphins, genderless and alone. I would be the artistic aunt who was more of an enigma than a person, going to more protests than social or family functions. I would lay down with the intent to astral project for years at a time. I would become more typewriter than human.
These fantasies didn't last very long because I craved validation. I wanted so much to be validated as someone masculine, and this took on many different forms; besting my brother at the shooting range, growing my leg hair to unsightly lengths, dating only bi men, craving a relationship with a woman so I could be the more obviously masculine one, doing jobs I hated in order to learn how men interacted with each other and how I could emulate it, absolutely adoring gay relationships in media and relating effortlessly. Beneath the surface, of course, there was a reason for this that I now know goes beyond gender expression, or sexism, or anything else. I'm transgender, specifically transmasculine, and have been for as long as I can remember despite never having the language or freedom to express it. Part of the reason for this was intentional repression, and part of it was an inability to freely be myself.
But now I am in a place in my life where I feel limitless. I have wonderful queer friends who have supported me through my questioning, and I've only made more as I've allowed myself to be present. To be in my skin. And to do whatever makes me feel most comfortable in it. I've stepped into myself with a confidence I thought was reserved for other people, inaccessible to me. I thought I could live my life in the shadows and let people like Miles take the spotlight, that I could just live vicariously through other people's happiness, that I would only ever know contentment. But that is no way to live. For the first time in my life, I've experienced unadulterated joy. It comes with its hardships, but it's an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. This feeling of authenticity and freedom is my ideal world.
During Pride this September, I went all three days with a commitment to be absolutely authentic, to be 100% myself, and to shy away from nothing. It was the first time I really felt like I was on the right path. The first time I really felt like there wasn't any doubt about what I wanted to do next, any doubt about who I am. It set a foundation for any other hardships or worries to walk across, and any steps forward to continue to build upward. I no longer feel like I am constantly shifting, adrift in a world of sand dunes. I feel like I've set a foundation to make my home on, and whatever else may come, it's here to stay.
How did this book help? Hearing Miles tell his story and offer hope gave me the courage to accept that I need to start living my life. And a big part of starting to live my life was being OUT! So here I am! I'm OUT! I feel like I've closed the last page of an old book and started the sequel. It's new, it's exciting, and so many things about my life are going to change for the better. I hope to bring my love of books and the small community I'm part of on here with me.
Thanks,
Jasper
(he/they)
February 9, 2024
(this review is going to be VERY informal and probably involve a lot of disorganized screaming and cursing, so consider yourself warned :D)
ARGH HOLY FUCK.
Okay, listen to me here.
NEVER. NEVER IN MY LIFE. COULD HAVE IMAGINED LAYING IN MY BED AT 2AM AND JUST. SMILING. ABOUT A FUCKING SELF-HELP BOOK.
If self-help books work for you, great. I'm glad you've got something that works. I, however, dislike the majority of them because they can never really account for or prepare me for everything they claim to, since everyone lives in a different situation. It feels like they're trying to cover very broad topics in a very short amount of time.
They also tend to have overly optimistic chapter titles, such as "Seize the Day!" or "Live in the Moment!!!" which always make them seem a lot more fake and a bit annoying (in my opinion).
"Okay," you're probably thinking by now, "that's nice, but... why did you even pick this book up at all, if that's the case?"
Great question! well, you see, dear reader,
(who is probably on AT LEAST page three of the reviews for this book by now)
(seriously why are you here????)
it was not marketed to me as a self-help book! Yes, yes, I PROBABLY should have been tipped off by the fact that it says, "How to be your authentic self" on the cover, but at the time, I was less thinking, "What kind of book did this guy just write" and more thinking, "Miles wrote a book about being queer and figuring out your identity and it's Miles so it probably won't be horrible dear lord how do I get this thing GIVE IT TO ME NOW I WANNA READ TIPS FOR FIGURING OUT MY IDENTITY."
Yeah. I really, REALLY should have figured it was a self-help book.
Anyway. The thing that made this book so different for me is that... it WAS made for people in my situation. It wasn't exact, of course. but it was made for queer people and was (largely) directed towards trans youth. It gave me advice that I could actually use because it was made BY someone like me and FOR people like me. I think the worst part for me was when it ended.
Also. I mean. The audiobook (the only version of the book available to me) was narrated by Miles, which just made it all SO MUCH BETTER.
anyway, I would highly recommend it to ANYONE whether they're cishet or the gayest of the gays. happy reading :)
ARGH HOLY FUCK.
Okay, listen to me here.
NEVER. NEVER IN MY LIFE. COULD HAVE IMAGINED LAYING IN MY BED AT 2AM AND JUST. SMILING. ABOUT A FUCKING SELF-HELP BOOK.
If self-help books work for you, great. I'm glad you've got something that works. I, however, dislike the majority of them because they can never really account for or prepare me for everything they claim to, since everyone lives in a different situation. It feels like they're trying to cover very broad topics in a very short amount of time.
They also tend to have overly optimistic chapter titles, such as "Seize the Day!" or "Live in the Moment!!!" which always make them seem a lot more fake and a bit annoying (in my opinion).
"Okay," you're probably thinking by now, "that's nice, but... why did you even pick this book up at all, if that's the case?"
Great question! well, you see, dear reader,
(who is probably on AT LEAST page three of the reviews for this book by now)
(seriously why are you here????)
it was not marketed to me as a self-help book! Yes, yes, I PROBABLY should have been tipped off by the fact that it says, "How to be your authentic self" on the cover, but at the time, I was less thinking, "What kind of book did this guy just write" and more thinking, "Miles wrote a book about being queer and figuring out your identity and it's Miles so it probably won't be horrible dear lord how do I get this thing GIVE IT TO ME NOW I WANNA READ TIPS FOR FIGURING OUT MY IDENTITY."
Yeah. I really, REALLY should have figured it was a self-help book.
Anyway. The thing that made this book so different for me is that... it WAS made for people in my situation. It wasn't exact, of course. but it was made for queer people and was (largely) directed towards trans youth. It gave me advice that I could actually use because it was made BY someone like me and FOR people like me. I think the worst part for me was when it ended.
Also. I mean. The audiobook (the only version of the book available to me) was narrated by Miles, which just made it all SO MUCH BETTER.
anyway, I would highly recommend it to ANYONE whether they're cishet or the gayest of the gays. happy reading :)
May 12, 2021
I love a good book I can finish in one sitting, and with the copious pictures, graphics, and pop-outs this is one of those books.
This collection of resources for coming out to yourself first, then to anyone else you feel needs to be included in your journey to happiness is the sort of thing I wish I had when I was starting to question myself 5 years ago (Miles reveals that was his motivation for writing the book in the first place). Even though I'm past the point when a lot of the advice presented about coming out and transitioning socially would be personally applicable (I'm out of college and my parents' home), I still found it inspiring to learn about Miles' journey beyond what I've seen on his YouTube channel over the years, in addition to learning about the LGBTQ forefathers and foremothers he features throughout the book.
Please give this to any teenagers or even college students you know that are questioning themselves or want to learn how to be better allies to their peers. Read it yourself, too, if you want to be that ally to a teenager in your life. It is tremendously helpful for young LGBTQ kids to have people who are ready to accept them as they are, to ask the right questions, and to offer the right support, and knowing what those things mean and how to give them to yourself and others is what this book is all about.
This collection of resources for coming out to yourself first, then to anyone else you feel needs to be included in your journey to happiness is the sort of thing I wish I had when I was starting to question myself 5 years ago (Miles reveals that was his motivation for writing the book in the first place). Even though I'm past the point when a lot of the advice presented about coming out and transitioning socially would be personally applicable (I'm out of college and my parents' home), I still found it inspiring to learn about Miles' journey beyond what I've seen on his YouTube channel over the years, in addition to learning about the LGBTQ forefathers and foremothers he features throughout the book.
Please give this to any teenagers or even college students you know that are questioning themselves or want to learn how to be better allies to their peers. Read it yourself, too, if you want to be that ally to a teenager in your life. It is tremendously helpful for young LGBTQ kids to have people who are ready to accept them as they are, to ask the right questions, and to offer the right support, and knowing what those things mean and how to give them to yourself and others is what this book is all about.
December 1, 2020
Miles McKenna is a queer trans activist who transitioned online! In front of a million people! This book is his guide for other youth who are queer and/or questioning. It is also a resource for allies/families/guardians. Miles includes many full-color photographs, sharing his journey. He also includes information on topics such as what his life was like before he came out; how he came out and tips for coming out; how he transitioned and living out and proud; where he is now, what he has learned, and where he's going. Back matter includes a guide to LGBTQ+ flags, several fun activities, glossary, and a number of resources such as websites for doing research but also organizations for support, counseling, and transition access. Throughout the book there are tips, hints, and special messages from Miles to help youth know they are not alone. One very important message that he starts the book with is that it does get better but we don't know when that is, so here are some things to help you NOW. There are also a few things aimed at families/guardians such as phrases to use when someone comes out to you. This book is upbeat, matter-of-fact, and authentic. This resource needs to be in every library where students can access it.
January 21, 2024
This is a non-fiction book about queer identity and self-expression. It’s filled to the brim with queer joy and pride and encouragement to be yourself and do what’s best for you.
It’s incredibly colourful and very easy to read, complete with pictures, quotes, fact boxes, and funky fonts in a scrapbook-style format.
I would highly recommend it if you’re looking for something simple and light-hearted, encouraging, and educational. Especially if you are LGBTQIA+ yourself, questioning your identity, are looking for ways to better support your LGBTQIA+ loved one, or just need some encouragement to be yourself and reassurance that you’re not alone.
It’s incredibly colourful and very easy to read, complete with pictures, quotes, fact boxes, and funky fonts in a scrapbook-style format.
I would highly recommend it if you’re looking for something simple and light-hearted, encouraging, and educational. Especially if you are LGBTQIA+ yourself, questioning your identity, are looking for ways to better support your LGBTQIA+ loved one, or just need some encouragement to be yourself and reassurance that you’re not alone.
July 19, 2022
I enjoyed the format for this book: lots of colors, pictures, drawings, text boxes, fan art, etc. It provides a visually stimulating page while reading about LGBTQ+ topics that could be a bit upsetting (coming out, dealing with unsupportive people, being yourself, etc.). Miles offers tips for dealing with various aspects of transitioning, being LGBTQ+, and finding friends/chosen family. He also adds historical comments about LGBTQ+ people in history, and various LGBTQ+ resources throughout the U.S. I think it would be a great read for a teen, but I also enjoyed it as a 20-something adult.
May 30, 2023
What a resource!
I am a middle school teacher who also advises our GSA. We have trans students as part of our club and as I kept reading each chapter, I noted resource after resource to share. Whether it be support with "coming out," identifying a new name (if needed), or locating your chosen family, this book has very practical, lived advice. I did not know anything about Miles prior to reading his book; however, I'm wanting to learn more. Miles - Thank you for writing this book. It has the power to change lives. Recommended for GR 7 and up.
I am a middle school teacher who also advises our GSA. We have trans students as part of our club and as I kept reading each chapter, I noted resource after resource to share. Whether it be support with "coming out," identifying a new name (if needed), or locating your chosen family, this book has very practical, lived advice. I did not know anything about Miles prior to reading his book; however, I'm wanting to learn more. Miles - Thank you for writing this book. It has the power to change lives. Recommended for GR 7 and up.
September 7, 2025
This was so good! Miles was one of the people I watched when I was trying to figure out my own identity and in my early days of transition. It was awesome to read this. I could’ve used this like 6 years ago 😅. I love his take on how to deal with unsupportive/hesitant family members. As someone who hasn’t had an easy run of coming out, I loved Miles’ advice, and that it isn’t just to block them all out of your life with no second chances. I see a lot of my family in his family.
April 15, 2021
I loved this book from start to finish. I've been a fan of Miles for many years now, and watching his content helped me come out as trans myself, especially after watching him very publicly transition. When I came out to my parents, the first thing I did was ask them to read this book. It really helped them understand what I was going through, and I think it's an excellent resource.
March 6, 2022
A great, easy, chatty read for every queer and questioning young person.
Full of support and real talk, it is a great starting point for young people to reassure them that they are not alone.
A good read for supportive friends and family members to help them understand that it can be scary and feel very lonely being true to yourself.
Full of support and real talk, it is a great starting point for young people to reassure them that they are not alone.
A good read for supportive friends and family members to help them understand that it can be scary and feel very lonely being true to yourself.
June 11, 2021
This was a cute book! I've loved watching Miles grow over the years, and while this wasn't anything new or groundbreaking for me, it's still full of reminders all LGBTQ+ people need to hear sometimes, and such an important resource for younger kids/teens who may be struggling with their identity.
September 12, 2022
There aren't any revolutionary concepts in this book, but it is a fantastic, personable story of a trans boy and his journey of self-discovery. I have a nephew who recently came out and I am so excited to give him this book. Out! is a much-needed YA book right now and I am so glad it exists.
November 21, 2020
literally amazing
December 16, 2020
Well written, clever memoir and how-to guide.
January 31, 2021
A great work, something that was needed in the LGBTQ+ community. And just what I needed to read :)
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