Sparks: How Parents Can Ignite the Hidden Strengths of Teenagers

by Peter L. Benson

In this practical book, Dr. Peter Benson, a leading authority on childhood and adolescence, describes a simple yet powerful plan for awakening the spark that lives inside each and every young person. Sparks―when illuminated and nurtured―give young people joy, energy, and direction. They have the power to change a young person’s life from one of “surviving” to “thriving.” Grounded in new research with thousands of teenagers and parents, Sparks offers a step-by-step approach to helping teenagers discover their unique gifts, and works for all families, no matter their economic status, parenting situation, or ethnic background.

Genres: Parenting, Education, Nonfiction

256 pages, Hardcover

First published August 20, 2008

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overview
It isn't easy being the parent of a teenager in today's society so parents need to use every tool they have to help their teenagers be happy, productive and positive members of their community. The approach described in the book focuses on helping parents to identify, nourish and encourage their teenager's "sparks." According to the author, a spark:

* gives energy and joy
* provides the feeling of being alive, useful and purposeful
* is absorbing to the point that you "lose yourself in the moment
* originates from inside a person
* is a skill, talent, interest or gift
* is a person's prime source of meaning, self-directed action and purpose
* has the potential to make the world a better place for others.

Some specific examples of sparks include: music, art, writing, dance, crafts, building, design, leadership, entrepreneurship, sports, athletics, learning, teaching, relationships, volunteering, nature, animals, computers, comedy, speech, spirituality, drama, photography, film, being committed to living in a specific way, reading, advocacy, family, outdoor life, journalism, engineering, and solving social problems.

The book offers five steps for igniting and encouraging your teen's sparks:

1. Recognize the power of sparks
2. Know your own teenager
3. Help discover and reveal your teen's sparks
4. Be the captain of your teen's spark team
5. Keep your teen's spark lit.

The book is packed with quizzes, lists, tips, interviews, statistics and quotes to illustrate the author's five steps and help parents implement them successfully. The book also includes an extensive list of resources, books, websites, films, videos, organizations and studies to help support parents and their teens in the spark development process.

My Thoughts
The ideas in this book made a lot of sense to me. It seems like a "no brainer" that encouraging your teenager to discover, nourish and fulfill what drives them would result in a more positive and productive person. The approach advocated in the book is non-judgemental, positive and encouraging. It is not about trying to discipline your teen; rather, it is about helping your teen find a way to contribute positively in the world by doing what they LOVE to do. Really, everyone -- regardless of age -- would be better off by identifying, developing and nourishing their own sparks.

The author provides research and statistics to back-up his recommendations, but I didn't really feel this made any real difference to me. What he says just makes sense. I really wish that every parent could get a copy of this book to help them in the difficult teenage years. I can't see why this book wouldn't be helpful to any parent or person working with teenagers.

The other thing I liked was that the author provides lots of quizzes to help parents and teens discover their spark. In addition, there are tons of examples of potential sparks -- surely everyone could find at least ONE spark using the lists in the book. There is also a list of 40 developmental assets that kids need to succeed. Even if parents just read this part of the book, it would help tremendously.

Although the book can seem a bit repetitive at times, it is full of practical and useful information to help parents and teens throughout the five step process. I would recommend the book to anyone who works with, lives with or teaches teenagers -- as well as teenagers themselves. In fact, I would recommend this book to anyone who needs a little help in figuring out their "purpose" in life!

[Sarah Sammis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sparks: How Parents Can Ignite the Hidden Strengths of Teenagers by Peter L. Benson offers ways for parents to encourage their teens to follow the things in life that make them spark. When I hear the word spark, I can't help but think of Agatha Heterodyne, main character of Girl Genius. Sparks, though isn't about mad science or steampunk. Instead it's a straightforward parenting book to help parents connect with their children.

The book began with the thesis that modern teens were so driven by the demands of school and so distracted by friends and modern media (texting, video games, etc) that they no longer had time for the hobbies that would help keep them happy, grounded and enjoying life. What Benson found is that more than half of all the teens surveyed were still active in hobbies and felt they had a concept of a spark (p. 27)

Sparks then is for the remaining parents and teens to help them either kindle a spark or to rediscover a long forgotten one. The book has five steps for parents (or other mentor adults) to help kindle that spark, a second section to help teens keep their sparks alive so they can thrive, and finally a section of resources for adults and teens. The book is full of common sense approaches to parenting and for interacting with teens that can easily be adjusted to work with younger children or for adults. Best of all, the book isn't built on any particular belief system leaving it open for parents and teens of any background to use.

[Nancy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was recommended at freshman orientation two years ago. I nally got around to reading it. While the premise is true: that teens with "sparks" are better, don't do "risky" behaviors and become productive adults, the approach outlines seemed a bit simplistic. The part I enjoyed most was the individual "success stories."

The five step process is:
1. Recognize the power of sparks.
2. Know your own teenager.
3. Help discover and reveal your teen's sparks.
4. Be the captain of your teen's spark team.
5. Keep your teen's sparks lit.

I'm not sure that I really learned anything from this book.

[Nancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some kids seem to have the ability to reach out and discover the things that excite and intrigue them. This book helps parents understand the importance of these "sparks" - talents or skills or competencies that help people express and fulfill themselves. It gives insight into how to nurture this spark in the kids we come in contact with.

[Karen Graves · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful how to book. Very practical. Full of wonderful stories. Easy to understand data. (Wish educational journal articles were this easy to understand!) A little repetitive at times and some "no brainers," but overall positive. Stimulated lots if conversations with my teenagers in the car and at the dinner table!

[Bonnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yes, great advice on how to support your child's spark. Mostly common sense and good parenting, though, and not as much on how to identify your child's spark (which is where I am). Dovetails with the findings outlined in Steven Wagner's "Creating Innovators."

[Noreen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn't love this book. I understand the importance of following the spark, but i feel this content could have been said in a few chapters. I was hoping for more creative approaches. But because the content was relevant I didn't totally dismiss this book.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I used this book for one of my magazine articles and thought the concepts were great and were even applicable for adults. Great book!