Where’s My Happy Ending?: Happily Ever After and How the Heck to Get There

by Anna Whitehouse, Matt Farquharson

Maybe you’ve just had a first date with ‘the one’, maybe you’ve been married for ten years. Either way, it’s hard to know if they’re really meant to be by your side until you both wear dentures. In Where's My Happy Ending? Anna Whitehouse and Matt Farquharson, authors of the Sunday Times bestseller Parenting the Sh*t Out of Life, set out to discover what it takes to make it to forever, by asking our greatest questions about love.

They ask a former sex-worker and her ex-gigolo husband, celibate monks and free-loving hippies. They ask people who never wanted kids and people who have loads of them. They ask porn-makers and feminist academics, neurologists, psychologists and romance novelists. They ask a whelk fisherman and a lollipop lady. They speak to couples, throuples and singles; gay, straight and anywhere in-between.

And in asking these questions, they are forced to confront their own relationship after a decade of marriage. Through tears, laughter, and one improperly discarded toenail clipping, Where’s My Happy Ending? gets answers for anyone who’s ever wondered ‘what’s next?’ Join Anna and Matt on a searingly honest, belly-laugh inducing journey through love and relationships, social media and small children, expert advice and everyday exasperation, as they navigate the muddy waters of modern romance.

Discover whether love and relationships could be simpler – or more complex – than we think in this study on what it really means to find and keep love today.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Biography, Memoir, Relationships, Audiobook, Adult

320 pages, Hardcover

Published February 6, 2020

About the author

Anna is the granddaughter of a Jewish refugee who fled Vienna as a teenagerin 1936. She has loved writing stories ever since she was a young girl and this is her first children's novel.

The Last Santa was inspired by a question asked by Anna's dad when she was ten. "I wonder what would happen if Santa was ever abolished?" You'll have to read the book to find out!

Reviews

[Marcy Thomas]

DNF at 20%.

Too much rambling for my taste.

[Katy Wheatley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I follow Anna and Matt on Instagram and have done for a while. They seem like really nice people. They seem like real people. I think that's important. I read this book out of curiosity, and wondering, as someone in her sixteenth year of a marriage, whether I was missing a trick or two that might help weather the ups and downs that come with being married and living with kids alongside trying to maintain your sanity and a healthy relationship with your partner. Anna and Matt write each section separately and sort of bring things together at the end of the book. I thought it was really interesting although sometimes, for me, too journalistic and less personal. I could have done with more of them and less of the wacky people they interview. The last chapter, for example, about the toll that Mother Pukka the brand has taken on their relationship was the best one for me, because it reflected more of the real lives of the real people writing rather than deflecting by filling the book with other people. It's not that I wanted pain writ large or to look in the cupboard under the stairs, but I wanted to feel that it was more about people and less about journalism. As for what it said to me about my own relationship, it made me feel pretty happy that I'd picked the right person to grow old with.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a brilliant insight into what makes a relationship work and how that varies for different people. I feel like shoving this into the hands of couples I know.

It was interesting how they discussed the effect social media has on modern day relationships, I think that's important as it's something older books on relationships and marriage don't touch on.

However, I feel that maybe this is best suited to couples in certain situations (as for couples involving a disabled/chronically ill person, or people of different races it throws up different issues).

Overall, it was a really good read and could definitely teach most people a thing or two. It's also really rather funny in some places.

[Chelle Williams · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lovely book and interesting to hear so many different perspectives on love.

[Karensa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought the book as it was recommended by a friend of Anna's, I then realise that I followed her on instagram. It's a bit rambly, priveledged and contradicts itself but some of it was amusing and other bits profound. Still worth a read.

[Rachel Bishop · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fantastically researched and presented book and skilfully retold via audiobook. I listened to this book, which is not my usual kind, because I saw so many rave reviews and was not disappointed.

As a Christian I have particular ideas about which qualities and strategies can support healthy and happy relationships and I had assumed, being written by people in a vastly different context to me, I would face many contradictions in this book - I was surprised to find there were very few.
The way Anna and Matt went about writing the book, separately but together, is a stroke of genius if you ask me. I believe its success is due to the real and organic starting position of all the chapters. They have bravely identified a concern for them in their own marriage and asked the question 'is it only us?'. Each chapter covers a concern they've asked the question of, followed by their own research or that of other, before asking 'what solution do other people have?'. With each concern they've listened to the research and evaluated if any of the solutions found by others are applicable in their own marriage, which is I guess what every reader is going to do as well...

They conclude with ideas, strategies and points that I found compelling, challenging and heartwarming. I also found their enthusiasm and energy for exploring anything new, meeting anyone and asking any or every question hilarious and fantastic!

I would recommend, no matter who you are.

[Maura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love books about relationships. While we are all very different from each other I find it fascinating that many of our relationships follow similar patterns where different feelings ebb and flow over time. Consequently much of what Anna and Matt share will resonate somewhat with people in long term relationships.

I liked the approach that they used of writing the chapters separately and then bringing them together at the end. And I did feel their vulnerability in sharing things that are not easy to share with each other never mind the world!! A key issue for Matt is the amount of time and attention that Anna dedicates to her phone. Again this will resonate with so many people. In light of technology, many of us spend more quality time with our phones than our loved ones and this book reminds us of the dangers of that.

My two key takeaways from the book are:
1. Ask the question: What does love need now?
Matt shares this question and it really appeals to me. Instead of grumbling about the little things that our other halves do repeatedly that drive us to distraction, pause, ask this question and act accordingly.
2. The currency of love is focused attention
Again this phrase was shared by Matt in the book and I really liked this little reminder to shower those I love in attention a little more often.

I really enjoyed this book. Although it can be a little rambly and perhaps a tad self indulgent it's also full of truths, from which we can take both heed and reassurance.

[book_lover_kent · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where’s My Happy Ending by Anna Whitehouse and Matt Farquharson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Anna and Matt are knee deep in Paw Patrol, school runs and snipping passive aggressively at each other about hair tongs and toenail clippings. They are also obviously very much in love but have stated to ask the questions ‘is this it?’ and ‘what if?’ and so decide to talk to various people from free loving hippies to lollipop ladies about what happiness in a relationship means to them.

This couple are just so ridiculously relatable! From the Edward Furlong posters of Anna’s childhood to Matt’s observation that Tinder is like ‘the millennial equivalent of Snake, but without the sense of achievement’ 😆

If you’re busy swiping, happily married, unhappily married, somewhere in between, or like me have decided to follow up on the ‘what if?’ you need to read this book!👍

[Katherine Zangana · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a lovely book and I’m a big fan of Anna Whitehouse. However, this is more of an opinion piece than trying to be in a self- help category. If you’re looking for a deep dive into relationships, I think there are better books out there. Still very enjoyable though and admire both writers for their candid approach.

[Sinead · Rating 2 out of 5]

An enjoyable enough read but there's no sense of jeopardy to the relationship which they are 95% sure they want to stay in from the outset. This is not really a "how to get there" advice book. It has aspects of memoir but jumps between a lot of different interviews the relevance of which to the central idea isn't always clear. Good enough a read but nothing new here really.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the dual aspect of this book and there were some really funny musings which made me laugh and smile knowingly -it was also not just an account of a relationship & a marriage - there was some really interesting research included throughout which stopped it from being too repetitive - kept me interested
that’s why it gets a 4!

[Sammie Cave · Rating 5 out of 5]

I very much enjoyed this book. It was interesting to gain the insight in to lives all over the world, from all different types of relationships. Anna and Matt have such a good way with words, I really found comfort and humour in this book. Have now lent the book out to friends and family.

[Casey Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read. Thought provoking. Great style of writing. Worth a read if you want an insight on how to work on bettering your relationship.

[Jem · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book and I like the fact they wrote their chapters separately. Wish they’d gone into more detail with some of the stories. Definitely worth a read.

[Alicia Hoad · Rating 5 out of 5]

So honest. So raw. All about the days after the fairy tale and reassured that we are not alone in our bickering about who last did the pots! Gorgeous.

[Leanne Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible stories of what love looks like in varying settings.
A phrase that will stay with me is: 'What does love need me to be in this moment?'

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally enjoyed this book
Very relatable
Gonna recommend

[Emily-Jane Chapman-Wade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thought provoking book from Anna & Matt. Loved the different versions of ‘happy endings’

[Carolyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Food for thought! Very well written, thought provoking, intimate and honest

[Jessblackler · Rating 3 out of 5]

Can’t finish it - just a married couple indirectly having a go at each other

[Lucy Snell · Rating 1 out of 5]

Did not finish.

[Rita]

Not as interesting or as insightful as I thought it would be, so decided to dnf.

[Charlotte Fay Simpson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book.

[Uzoamaka · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book reads more like a personal one about their relationship and marriage backed by some research. Knowing how it ends, the signs appear to be there all though the pages. I suppose this book will help them realise a 'happy ending' next.

[Keely · Rating 4 out of 5]

I Don't know who these people are because I don't follow people whose specific selling point is being parents as I have no desire for that walk of life. But I thought this sounded interesting and it actually was. I really enjoyed the fact that they talked to people from all over the world and had very different stories from each other.

[Kerry · Rating 3 out of 5]

And a half

[Natasha Giroux · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for anyone invested in making their relationship work or interested in one day settling down. The authors, a married couple with two young children, agreed on the chapter titles then wrote their version of each chapter in isolation, only reading their partner’s version at the end. It’s really valuable having those two points of view running parallel throughout the book and also makes for some funny reading. It also wasn’t too much of a time commitment to read and I’m already considering re-reading in a year or so to note down key learnings. For me, the book brought a sense of relief: everybody had similar worries, everybody has the same sorts of problems and there are ways to make those problems easier. I highly recommend!

[Clare Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it! Relatable, witty, insightful.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

An honest account of different relationships over time. I enjoyed how it was written by Matt and Anna separately as they explored their relationship and gained perspectives from others. It’s a serious topic but the writing includes humour and makes for an enjoyable read. Probably not one to take on your honeymoon though 😜

[Lil · Rating 4 out of 5]

Key take away, put your phone down