Comfort for the Grieving Spouse's Heart: Hope and Healing After Losing Your Partner

by Gary Roe

This loss changes everything.

The loss of a life partner can be traumatic. Oblivious to our suffering, the world around us speeds on as if nothing happened. Stunned, shocked, sad, confused, and angry, we blink in disbelief. Our hearts are broken. Our souls shake.

We look for comfort. Our broken, grieving hearts need it to survive.

Multiple award-winning author, hospice chaplain, and grief counselor Gary Roe is a trusted voice who has been helping wounded, grieving hearts find hope and healing for more than three decades. Written with heartfelt compassion, this warm, easy-to-read, and practical book reads like a caring conversation with a friend and will become a comforting companion as you navigate the turbulent waters of grief.

Gary’s desire is to meet you in your grief and walk with you there. Composed of brief chapters, Comfort for the Grieving Spouse's Heart is designed to be read one chapter per day, giving you bite-sized bits of comfort, encouragement, and healing over a period of time. You do not have to read it this way, of course. We all grieve differently. Read in the way that is most natural for you.

In Comfort for the Grieving Spouse's Heart, you will discover how to...
* Process complicated grief emotions (sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, guilt, anxiety, depression, feeling overwhelmed, etc).
* Navigate all the relational changes - feeling alone, misunderstood, isolated, and even rejected by those around you.
* Handle the increased stress and uncertainty that this heavy loss can bring.
* Deal with physical and mental health issues, illnesses, and new symptoms that often arise.
* Take care of yourself through diet, hydration, fitness, and rest.
* Deal with a myriad of practical issues (financial challenges, parenting, family activities),
* Handle the intense, deep loneliness that often comes with this loss.

You will also find hope in how to...
* Think through the challenging spiritual and faith questions that frequently surface.
* Relate well to the people around you - those who are helpful and those who aren't.
* Overcome the tendency to run from emotional pain with unhealthy habits or compulsive behaviors.
* Deal well with triggers and the grief bursts that will come.
* Find the support you need for survival, recovery, and healing (safe people, fellow grievers, counseling, etc.).
* Develop a simple, realistic plan for birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays.
* Use your grief for good - for yourself, your family, and others.
* Allow this loss to give you greater perspective and motivate you to live more effectively than ever before.
* Make your life count, one day, one moment at a time.


Please don’t grieve alone. Let Comfort for the Grieving Spouse's Heart join you on this arduous, tasking journey. Be kind to yourself. Take your heart seriously.

Death has invaded, but it doesn't have to win. Read on. Comfort awaits you in these pages of this book.

Genres: Grief, Nonfiction

212 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 9, 2019

About the author

Hi. My name is Gary.

My story began with a childhood of sexual abuse and numerous other losses. When my life began to unravel as a teen, another family took me in and changed the trajectory of my life. My healing journey began.

Eager to help others heal and grow, my heart turned outward. Over the next three decades, I served as a campus minister, a church-planting missionary in Japan, an entrepreneur in Hawaii, and a pastor. I'm currently work as a writer, speaker, and hospice chaplain.

After walking through deep valleys with thousands of people, I can say the following with confidence:

• We've all been wounded
• Healing isn't for sissies
• We’re all designed for impact
• The world needs us
• We must heal

I'm here to help. I'm no guru or master of anything. I'm a fellow struggler. I still bear the scars of my wounds. I grieve, get anxious, worry, and battle fear regularly. But I'm healing, and I'm growing.

Stop by my website. Drop me an email. I’d love to hear from you.

Reviews

[Peggy-Sue Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe that when an individual is hurting; really hurting, that it is hard to sit down and read a book with a lot of do's, don'ts, self-helps. As if the Author is expecting you to follow an instruction manual.Gary Roe is NOT one of those Authors . you can tell right away that he knows what he is talking about. He has been there and walked through the same experience himself. His insights are clear, concise, spot-on and touch you at the point of your need. I expected to read a good book, with some good information, and go on my way. Not so ! From the first, it opened up area's I must not have worked through in my own experience. For I was totally weeping, right back at the day and time of my own loss. He hit right where I needed to be. With words and encouragements I had not heard before. Almost thirteen years after my husband passed away. I thought I had completely dealt with and worked through all my grief, but evidently not. If it can help someone thirteen years after the initial experience of loss and grief, then it can help all who will read it.

[Denise Marcotte · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book as a gift when I lost my Husband. I did not start reading it immediately but about 2 or 3 months after his leaving day I picked it and started reading.
I felt like Gary Roe was inside my head and heart and was pouring all my thoughts and feelings onto the pages.
Before I had completed the book, which is not meant to be read like a novel, I checked to see what other titles he had written. When I saw that he had ‘Comfort for the Grieving Adult Child’s Heart’, I immediately ordered two copies for my adult children.
I believe that Gary has captured exactly what happens to our hearts and minds when we loose a loved one. It is the hand/heart extended during one of our darkest times, I will be forever grateful for this life line.
Thank you, for showing us how to be kind to ourselves so we can be kinder to each other.

[Kristine L York · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. Very helpful for dealing with loss

I lost my husband suddenly. Reading this book validated the feelings I was having. It felt like the author was reading my mind and could hear my heart.

[D.G. Kaye · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so happy to have read this book. It’s one of those books that made me feel it was written for me. The author comes across as a compassionate soul who has had his own fair share of grief as he notes in his book.

The author has a gentle way of delivering words that are so identifiable with the roller coaster of emotions that persist through the journey of grief. One of many quotes that resonates with me, “Grief alters our world. It changes everything because it changes us. No one is the same after a loss. No one.” Truest words, nobody is unscathed from this seering affliction, no matter if they admit it or not. Love hurts, especially when grief grows insurmountably, which is merely love that no longer has a place to go.

This book is written in short, bite-sized chapters that can be read over, or as I felt compelled to do, read the book in two sittings. This book validated that I am normal to be experiencing such internal pain as the author’s own broken heart spills through every line. A compassionate, yet practical telling that while not a cure for an ailing heart, most definitely succinct with every emotion, and leaving us with a feeling of oneness, knowing that there are others who know the pain we suffer. “I feel like a shadow – a phantom flitting silently through everyone else’s world. I function, I go through the motions. I get stuff done, but I’m not all there. Part of me is with you. – thinking about and missing you. When you left, you took a piece of my heart with you – maybe even my whole heart.”

Grieving for a beloved spouse is a whole new realm of heartache which nobody can even pretend to know unless they’ve walked in the shoes. Gary Roe has certainly walked in the shoes.

[Vicki L]

I am finding myself in many of the grief scenarios. I have experienced so many of these in the past 3 years.

I really like how each short thought ends with a grief affirmation. Each of us will walk this road in our own unique way, but we all share similar times that require us to accept that we are ok when we...(fill in the action). That’s the nature of grief. And it’s difficult to understand why we are so different from before.

We need permission to grieve through the sadness, the loneliness, the anger, the disbelief, the confusion, the loss of our companions. Everything. For as long as it takes.

Thank you, Gary, for your continuing efforts to help in the healing process. Your words are encouraging and affirming. May God continue to bless your work.

[Ken Holland · Rating 5 out of 5]

After losing my wife of 50 years my world ended. I cannot describe the pain and emptiness that has overwhelmed me. My son sent me this book in hopes it would help. While reading , I suddenly realized the author was writing my own story. I have experienced almost all of the emotions in the book and each one drove me deeper into the darkness of such loss. After reading this book I have been much better able to deal with all that goes with such loss. It is obvious Gary Roe has a deep connection with those of us who have been there. I highly recommend it to anyone who is seeking some peace with a shattered heart.

[Lewis Ashcliffe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having only very recently lost my wife, Mary, to cancer my world has been turned upside down with pain and grief. Gary Roe's newest book, “Comfort for the Grieving Spouse” responds to the deep need for answers to so many questions that arise daily in my struggle to make sense of it all. The short chapters each address different and specific issues, questions or experiences that most who have lost a spouse go through, along with helpful and positive ways to reflect and heal.

[Marti · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was just what I needed, even though I didn't know I needed it. My husband passed six years ago, and I still find myself with unexpected waves of grief. Gary Roe's book feels like it was written just for me, and helped me to feel like my emotions were normal (or as normal as can be expected). The format is perfect - short chapters to read in small snippets. Thank you Gary for a tremendous resource.

[Gretchen Gall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Roe understands the grieving heart like no other author I have read. His books speak to my thoughts, emotions and heart as it relates to grief and loss. "Comfort for the Grieving Spouse's Heart" supports the reader in processing all the deep and often complicated emotions that come with the loss of one's life partner. The journaling ideas and affirmations really help in moving forward. This book is a must read for anyone who has experienced the loss of their life partner.

[Robin Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you are a heartbroken spouse, caring friend, or grief professional, Comfort for the Grieving Spouse‘s Heart is an important read. Written in a warm, conversational manner, Gary Roe masterfully guides and encourages his reader through the emotions and pain of losing a life partner and offers an arsenal of wisdom and affirmation for healing. I personally will refer to this wonderful book time and time again throughout my own journey with grief.

[Jan Hodge · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to know where this book was 3 years ago, when I was deep in grief after loosing my best friend, my spouse. I’ve read other books and free literature from GARY. But this kept me saying, I really know he knows what I went through. Spouses will find great help here along with anyone who wants to be supportive to a grieving spouse. Every church Library should have a copy and for .99 you get your own Kendal copy today.

[Esther Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book with easy to read short chapters which will describe various thoughts and emotions in our grieving journey. Each chapter helps us to know it is normal to experience the examples given and realize things do get better over time even though we will never fill the hole left in our hearts. My faith and trust in God with counsel from Gary Roe’s books have helped me in my on going healing of losing my hubby/best friend of 61 years.

[Rebecca Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I would have had access to this when my husband died. It answers so much of what I went through. This book, Comfort for the Grieving Spouse's Heart, addresses the emotional fallout of grief, the doubts, the anger, the loneliness. Working through this book has helped me so much process what I am experiencing.

[Raymond ONeill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Battling Grief on your own is like fighting a Forest Fire with no training. In this book, Gary Roe gives you the tools to take on the unimaginable. Drawing from years of experience in Hospice Counseling, Gary journeys with stricken Spouses on a roadway to recovery.

[Susan C. Beabout · Rating 5 out of 5]

This excellent book is helping me to process my emotions on my grief journey after losing my husband. It was like the author was reading my mind and heart! I wasn't left hanging with these emotions, as the book gave practical helps to process and accept the loss of my spouse! Worth every penny!

[Mary Kenyon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Roe has a heart for those who grieve. As a widow, I highly recommend this book to anyone who has lost a spouse or significant other. As a certified grief counselor, this is a must-read for anyone who works with those who are grieving that particular loss.

[Karen Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you have lost a life partner recently or years ago, this book has much to offer. We see that our feelings and experiences, though unique to ourselves, are similar and not unusual. Together, we can heal.

[Roxanne Del Rosario · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary never disappoints. Once again he just knows what the hurting heart needs, and in this book reaches out in a way that not only brings comfort to the aching heart, but a sense of hope and peace deep down to the soul. I can’t recommend Comfort for the Grieving Spouse’s Heart strongly enough.

[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gary Roe brings the grieving heart of the person's thoughts, feelings and emotions to the page with the honesty of someone who has been through this process. He lets us know we are not alone and there is light on the other side. Losing a spouse is just like losing a half of yourself.

[Erin Burke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief comes to us in many ways and to some it can be frightening. Gary’s book is hauntingly accurate as it describes what I have been enduring as well as explains what a family member is going through. You cannot fix grief but you can get through it. I highly recommend this book!

[Diane Paulsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is amazing to me how this book spoke to my shattered heart after losing my spouse!! And how that Gary Roe can, so aptly, put my hurt & feelings into such meaningful words of comfort.

[Jennifer Porterfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comfort for the Grieving Spouse gives you piece and comfort in the different feelings and emotions you’re having. The affirmations at the end of each section are so uplifting

Jennifer Porterfield

[Sunnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief is something that will come to each and every one of us throughout our lives, and often numerous times as well depending on our circle of family, friends, and acquaintances. It is a reality that cannot be avoided. In anticipation of my ex-husband’s demise from an aggressive form of cancer, I purchased this book for my grown daughter who struggles to show certain emotions. Reading it myself to determine if I found it appropriate for her, I found very short chapters with an affirmation at the end of each. Readers can read as many or as few chapters at a time as they wish, each containing nuggets of wisdom, information, or even triggers that allow us to walk this endless road of loss one step at a time. It is not a strictly religious book because many who grieve don’t follow any particular religion. Rather it is aimed to the pain, anger, and sadness we all suffer. My mother passed a bare 18 months earlier, and I found things that spoke directly to my heart and mind. When my ex finally passes, I now have the knowledge and strength to deal with my own grief as well as comfort our children and extended family. I am well pleased with this instruction manual for my continuing life after both before and after experiencing someone’s death. This material is not preachy or overbearing. Recommended for all.

[Linda Cunningham · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Berevement Group, which I was a part of, did read, study and discuss this book together.
What I read was very close to what I was feeling during my time of grieving! I felt relief that I was normal in having those feelings. I learned that the grieving period has no set time. It does depend on the individual and circumstances.
I am grateful that with the insight and knowledge, which Gary Roe definitely has, he took the time to write this book.
Today I am a different person because of the experience of losing my husband. I am alright. I can look forward to the uncertainty of life and ready for what it brings my way.
Linda C.

[Barbara]

A Lifeline During the Loss of A Spouse

Gary Roe seemed to be able to read my thoughts and express them in a way I couldn't put into words when I lost my husband of 51 years. Thank you, Gary for this excellent resource. I lost my foster son and his youngest daughter five months in a terrible accident five months before my husband died. I shared this book with his widow.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars, rounded up

This book is comprised of short, two-page "meditations" on various aspects of grief. Although many of the entries were not applicable to my situation, they generally made made me think. I felt that most of the entries were more applicable to the unexpected loss of a younger spouse.

[catherine riccobene · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a page turner! He goes through the stages of loss and grief ..If you just recently are going through a loss it is a must read. You. Will find. Knowledge and encouragement! You are normal,not alone and you will get through this!

[Johnson Henson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would recommend for anyone who has lost their spouse or someone who wants to better understand the hurt and grief a loved one is experiencing. This book was relatable for me and often felt while reading my heart was being shared.

[Sherman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comforting and Relatable!

Great book very relatable to the thoughts, feelings and emotions that the author describes. The book allowed me to experience a source of comfort, even when it seems like some individuals around me are out of touch with my journey.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommended!

Excellent book! I have read many grief books since I lost my husband, but this is one I highly recommend!