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The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence
“The Addiction Inoculation is a vital look into best practices parenting. Writing as a teacher, a mother, and, as it happens, a recovering alcoholic, Lahey's stance is so compassionate, her advice so smart, any and all parents will benefit from her hard-won wisdom.” —Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex
In this supportive, life-saving resource, the New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure helps parents and educators understand the roots of substance abuse and identify who is most at risk for addiction, and offers practical steps for prevention.
Jessica Lahey was born into a family with a long history of alcoholism and drug abuse. Despite her desire to thwart her genetic legacy, she became an alcoholic and didn’t find her way out until her early forties. Jessica has worked as a teacher in substance abuse programs for teens, and was determined to inoculate her two adolescent sons against their most dangerous inheritance. All children, regardless of their genetics, are at some risk for substance abuse. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, teen drug addiction is the nation’s largest preventable and costly health problem. Despite the existence of proven preventive strategies, nine out of ten adults with substance use disorder report they began drinking and taking drugs before age eighteen.
The Addiction Inoculation is a comprehensive resource parents and educators can use to prevent substance abuse in children. Based on research in child welfare, psychology, substance abuse, and developmental neuroscience, this essential guide provides evidence-based strategies and practical tools adults need to understand, support, and educate resilient, addiction-resistant children. The guidelines are age-appropriate and actionable—from navigating a child’s risk for addiction, to interpreting signs of early abuse, to advice for broaching difficult conversations with children.
The Addiction Inoculation is an empathetic, accessible resource for anyone who plays a vital role in children’s lives—parents, teachers, coaches, or pediatricians—to help them raise kids who will grow up healthy, happy, and addiction-free.
In this supportive, life-saving resource, the New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure helps parents and educators understand the roots of substance abuse and identify who is most at risk for addiction, and offers practical steps for prevention.
Jessica Lahey was born into a family with a long history of alcoholism and drug abuse. Despite her desire to thwart her genetic legacy, she became an alcoholic and didn’t find her way out until her early forties. Jessica has worked as a teacher in substance abuse programs for teens, and was determined to inoculate her two adolescent sons against their most dangerous inheritance. All children, regardless of their genetics, are at some risk for substance abuse. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, teen drug addiction is the nation’s largest preventable and costly health problem. Despite the existence of proven preventive strategies, nine out of ten adults with substance use disorder report they began drinking and taking drugs before age eighteen.
The Addiction Inoculation is a comprehensive resource parents and educators can use to prevent substance abuse in children. Based on research in child welfare, psychology, substance abuse, and developmental neuroscience, this essential guide provides evidence-based strategies and practical tools adults need to understand, support, and educate resilient, addiction-resistant children. The guidelines are age-appropriate and actionable—from navigating a child’s risk for addiction, to interpreting signs of early abuse, to advice for broaching difficult conversations with children.
The Addiction Inoculation is an empathetic, accessible resource for anyone who plays a vital role in children’s lives—parents, teachers, coaches, or pediatricians—to help them raise kids who will grow up healthy, happy, and addiction-free.
332 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 6, 2021
155 people are currently reading
2144 people want to read
About the author
Jessica Lahey
4 books195 followersJessica Lahey is a teacher, writer, and mom. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Atlantic, Vermont Public Radio, and the New York Times and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids’ Emmy-nominated "The Stinky and Dirty Show." Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and two sons and teaches high school English and writing in Vermont.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
November 28, 2020
This book is going to help people.
November 14, 2020
A mashup of memoir, research, and practical advice Lahey nails a parent's fears about our kids choosing the wrong path, and gives us practical, actionable, conversational guidance on how to speak with our children in a way that will teach them to make safer choices.
April 2, 2021
This is a must-read book for every parent who wants to know how to protect their kids from addiction. Chock full of science and simple, actionable advice, THE ADDICTION INOCULATION teaches parents everything they need to know — how young brains respond to various substances, how genes and various lifestyle factors affect addiction risk, and what parents can do to keep their kids healthy and safe, no matter their baseline risk. What I love, too, is that the advice in this book will do far more than just protect kids from addiction — it gives parents the tools to build strong, honest relationships with their kids and instill in them the skills and self-confidence they need to succeed in many facets of life.
February 24, 2024
This book made me reflect on my own experiences with alcohol and made me feel better equipped to (one day) talk to my daughter about drugs/alcohol. This is a great read for all adults, but specifically for parents and educators.
May 25, 2024
As a teacher, I got more out of this author's first book. That being said, this one is one that should be required reading for parents. I really appreciated the author's honesty about her own struggles with addiction.
August 11, 2022
Really informative!! I learned so much. It was an enticing read - especially considering it’s nonfiction. An excellent combination of facts and strategies/suggestions while also reading like a story at times.
Definitely recommend it. I’m not even a parent but I found it helpful for thinking about interacting with young people in general and how my actions might inadvertently influence them.
Definitely recommend it. I’m not even a parent but I found it helpful for thinking about interacting with young people in general and how my actions might inadvertently influence them.
August 14, 2021
In many ways, "The Addiction Inoculation" is a weird book, seemingly written for different audiences in different parts. Opening as a memoir, it makes its way through the history and science of adolescent addiction, and then blooms into a parenting advice tome. That last piece is why it’s worth reading this review, even if you’ve got a newborn.
Right around the time Jess Lahey published the wildly successful book "The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed," she realized she was an alcoholic. As a mom, her thoughts quickly moved from her own wellbeing to that of her kids. What could she do to spare them the suffering of following in her footsteps? Despite knowledge accumulated during 20 years of teaching—five of them in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation clinic for adolescents—she needed guidance. “The one book I wanted most was the one I could not find, a memoir of substance use disorder and long-term recovery paired with research-backed parenting and teaching advice.”
Lahey makes no apologies for her conservative approach. She believes in gateway drugs (“if we can keep kids away from cigarettes, vaping, beer, and marijuana, we are more likely to keep them off the harder stuff”), that the situation is both dire and time-sensitive (“[k]ids need to know that if they start using alcohol now, they are much, much more likely to develop substance use disorder than if they wait until their brain is done developing in their early twenties, and the earlier kids start using any addictive substance, the more damage it does to their brains and bodies”), and in zero-tolerance policies. (She quotes an expert saying, “you should have an unrealistic no alcohol or drug use policy until they are out of high school.”)
Her arguments are research-backed, though many would take issue with Lahey’s slants. For example, Ayelet Waldman presented a very different spin on LSD in "A Really Good Day." And Lahey’s approach to divorce doesn’t jibe with what I’ve read. She’s got all the right pieces: high-conflict divorce constitutes an adverse childhood event, pre-split dynamics and economic hardship explain a lot of kids’ distress, and co-parents can do loads to decrease the stress surrounding familial restructuring. But she puts them together in a way that’s unhelpful for families for whom divorce is the best option.
That said, there’s a consistent logic to Lahey’s conclusions: anchoring. Aim high, think in absolutes, and you risk falling less far. Take that zero-tolerance policy. A lot of kids are going to deviate from their parents’ recommendations, but deviating a bit from “don’t do it at all” is likely to have far less severe consequences than starting with permissiveness and moving a bit deeper from there.
Right around the time Jess Lahey published the wildly successful book "The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed," she realized she was an alcoholic. As a mom, her thoughts quickly moved from her own wellbeing to that of her kids. What could she do to spare them the suffering of following in her footsteps? Despite knowledge accumulated during 20 years of teaching—five of them in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation clinic for adolescents—she needed guidance. “The one book I wanted most was the one I could not find, a memoir of substance use disorder and long-term recovery paired with research-backed parenting and teaching advice.”
Lahey makes no apologies for her conservative approach. She believes in gateway drugs (“if we can keep kids away from cigarettes, vaping, beer, and marijuana, we are more likely to keep them off the harder stuff”), that the situation is both dire and time-sensitive (“[k]ids need to know that if they start using alcohol now, they are much, much more likely to develop substance use disorder than if they wait until their brain is done developing in their early twenties, and the earlier kids start using any addictive substance, the more damage it does to their brains and bodies”), and in zero-tolerance policies. (She quotes an expert saying, “you should have an unrealistic no alcohol or drug use policy until they are out of high school.”)
Her arguments are research-backed, though many would take issue with Lahey’s slants. For example, Ayelet Waldman presented a very different spin on LSD in "A Really Good Day." And Lahey’s approach to divorce doesn’t jibe with what I’ve read. She’s got all the right pieces: high-conflict divorce constitutes an adverse childhood event, pre-split dynamics and economic hardship explain a lot of kids’ distress, and co-parents can do loads to decrease the stress surrounding familial restructuring. But she puts them together in a way that’s unhelpful for families for whom divorce is the best option.
That said, there’s a consistent logic to Lahey’s conclusions: anchoring. Aim high, think in absolutes, and you risk falling less far. Take that zero-tolerance policy. A lot of kids are going to deviate from their parents’ recommendations, but deviating a bit from “don’t do it at all” is likely to have far less severe consequences than starting with permissiveness and moving a bit deeper from there.
January 29, 2022
This book truly made me think about how I am raising my kids and gave many real life examples of ways to raise your children to think thoughtfully about drugs and alcohol. I highly recommend for any parent!
January 17, 2021
This compelling research-based guide to prevention is studded with exceptional story-telling based in Lahey's own experience of addiction and recovery and her experience teaching adolescents in recovery. This book has already changed the way I parent my own middle schooler. Lahey and the experts cited throughout challenged my thinking and expanded my knowledge on addiction and prevention. Everyone who has children teens or young adults or teaches, mentors or interacts with young people needs to read this as soon as possible. I wish I'd had this book when I was teaching 18-22 year old college students. Lahey's voice and openness about her own experiences makes this an especially hopeful, valuable and gripping book.
December 10, 2020
Many (if not all) parents worry our kids will get in trouble with drugs or alcohol during adolescence or young adulthood. This fear is all the more salient for the nearly 50% of Americans who have friends or family members with Substance Use Disorder (the preferred term for substance dependence or addiction.) While many of today's adults grew up in the era of such ineffective sloganeering as “Just Say No” or The D.A.R.E. Program, there is still shockingly little information available to laypeople about substance use disorder prevention.
That's why I was so excited to get my hands on The Addiction Inoculation. Lahey’s first book, The Gift of Failure, was a gem: both researched and relatable, with practical steps on teaching kids self-efficacy. (My six-year-old does his own laundry now!) It’s one of the best of the genre, and a lot to live up to. But The Addiction Inoculation does not disappoint—Lahey breaks down addiction risk factors, delving into research on topics such as brain development, epigenetics, and ACE scores. She lays out practical, age-appropriate conversation starters, and ties the book together with compelling stories of addiction and recovery, including her own.
The type of parent who will pick up a book on addiction prevention is probably doing many of the right things already, but it’s incredibly reassuring to have a guide through a topic which is all too often taboo. I can see myself referring back to this book many times as my kids grow up.
That's why I was so excited to get my hands on The Addiction Inoculation. Lahey’s first book, The Gift of Failure, was a gem: both researched and relatable, with practical steps on teaching kids self-efficacy. (My six-year-old does his own laundry now!) It’s one of the best of the genre, and a lot to live up to. But The Addiction Inoculation does not disappoint—Lahey breaks down addiction risk factors, delving into research on topics such as brain development, epigenetics, and ACE scores. She lays out practical, age-appropriate conversation starters, and ties the book together with compelling stories of addiction and recovery, including her own.
The type of parent who will pick up a book on addiction prevention is probably doing many of the right things already, but it’s incredibly reassuring to have a guide through a topic which is all too often taboo. I can see myself referring back to this book many times as my kids grow up.
September 28, 2021
This was informative and very well written but it was so depressing I couldn’t finish it. Ugh, the chapters on the damage done to the teenage brain!
May 12, 2022
There was a paragraph in the book
That pretty much killed the book for me. She started to say how she was a privileged white woman and she had advantages that others don’t. I wont follow this CRT parade. It was a snippet a paragraph she was bowing to the masses, but if she really felt that way she would’ve addressed the issues that could be a barrier to people without the white skin.
I liked the life experience the information on the brain but that everything seems to mush together. I do own her gift of failure book and I will attempt it. Everyone deserves a second chance as well as everyone deserves to know they have value. CRT does not teach that.
That pretty much killed the book for me. She started to say how she was a privileged white woman and she had advantages that others don’t. I wont follow this CRT parade. It was a snippet a paragraph she was bowing to the masses, but if she really felt that way she would’ve addressed the issues that could be a barrier to people without the white skin.
I liked the life experience the information on the brain but that everything seems to mush together. I do own her gift of failure book and I will attempt it. Everyone deserves a second chance as well as everyone deserves to know they have value. CRT does not teach that.
May 16, 2022
Such a helpful book for people who have young people in their lives they care about. I appreciate Lahey’s facts and research approach the topic mixed with moving stories. Glad I read this, so I can help my own kids be healthy kids in a culture of dependence.
May 9, 2021
I’m a recovering alcoholic and drug addict who comes from a family of addicts, with nearly 9 years sober and a 12-year-old son, one of my biggest fears is that he’ll struggle with addiction. There are many books that talk about prevention methods and communication styles with your children to help them avoid substance abuse, but Jessica Lahey by far has written one of the best books I’ve read on the subject. I’ve worked in a dual diagnosis treatment center and have a mental health YouTube channel, and with so much pseudoscience and nonsense out there, I really look for books and suggestions that are evidence-based, and that’s exactly what Jessica Lahey provides in this book. Although there were some studies I had read about before, Jessica not only introduced me to new ones, but she also has a unique perspective on what the research means and how we it can help our children.
From the start of the book, I really connected with Jessica’s personal story of addiction and sobriety as well as her fears of her own children struggling with addiction. Jessica is not only a teacher, but she helps young people struggling with substance abuse so she has a ton of experience. In this book, she covers every important angle when it comes to addiction in young people. She discusses risk factors such as genetics and home environment, and then she dives into a ton of different proven strategies for parents to connect with their children and have authentic conversations around substance use. Later, she explains why traditional prevention methods like D.A.R.E. failed and what the research teaches us about how young people need proper social and emotional learning both at home and in schools.
Whether you’re a parent, an aunt or uncle, a grandparent, a teacher, a doctor, or anyone who might interact with young people at some point in your life, you need to read this book. I got sober in 2012, and the addiction epidemic hasn’t slowed down. It takes a group effort and amazing books like this one from Jessica Lahey to educate ourselves and end this crisis that we’ve been dealing with for decades.
From the start of the book, I really connected with Jessica’s personal story of addiction and sobriety as well as her fears of her own children struggling with addiction. Jessica is not only a teacher, but she helps young people struggling with substance abuse so she has a ton of experience. In this book, she covers every important angle when it comes to addiction in young people. She discusses risk factors such as genetics and home environment, and then she dives into a ton of different proven strategies for parents to connect with their children and have authentic conversations around substance use. Later, she explains why traditional prevention methods like D.A.R.E. failed and what the research teaches us about how young people need proper social and emotional learning both at home and in schools.
Whether you’re a parent, an aunt or uncle, a grandparent, a teacher, a doctor, or anyone who might interact with young people at some point in your life, you need to read this book. I got sober in 2012, and the addiction epidemic hasn’t slowed down. It takes a group effort and amazing books like this one from Jessica Lahey to educate ourselves and end this crisis that we’ve been dealing with for decades.
January 12, 2023
Very helpful and comprehensive look at the reasons teens drink and how to parent them toward self control and wisdom with alcohol.
September 6, 2022
This is really a general parenting book with some data about addiction. One hot tip is to get a pet. Because kids with pets are less likely to abuse substances. Ok.
April 2, 2023
I kept circling back to this book, not because it wasn’t good, but the number of interruptions. I like how this book is laid out:
1. Introduced to the author, not a psychologist, but a parent and teacher with firsthand knowledge of addiction herself (alcoholism) and as a teacher of adolescents in recovery.
2. A brief history of how our culture came to view drugs and alcohol until now. Types of addictive substances.
3. Neurobiology for the layperson - exactly why the risk of substance abuse is greater until age 25 as the brain develops.
4. The risk factors that lead to early experimentation, which is the greatest predictor of lifelong addiction. Adverse childhood events (spoiler - hard to avoid a fee for most people).
5. Protective factors we can use to our parental advantage. Idea of protective factors outweighing risk factors. This concept has come up in many parent educational seminars I’ve participated in for a variety of topics including addiction, early sexual activity and mental health issues.
6. House rules for parents to work on prevention.
7. Scripts and how to start conversations with kids of different ages and stages. Start in preschool!
8. The real risks of friendships and peer pressure. Statistics on exactly how many kids are trying which types of substances. The data show the numbers are lower than they think, and decreasing in recent years. Arm yourself to arm your kids with real data. Be prepared to be asked what choices you made at that age. Be honest where possible but don’t glorify at all, and discuss how you may have made other choices if you have regrets.
9. Addiction prevention programs at various ages in schools, and how to be effective, they must begin in preschool by focusing on healthy lifestyle and choices throughout elementary. This includes healthy friendships and consent, and is best done in small groups with practice of scripts to say no. This is ineffective in lecture format in all venues. Middle school is the tipping point and where the rubber meets the road - the groundwork should be laid in advance. However, it doesn’t stop either, and continues to be practiced throughout high school. Make sure kids no there is no shame, blame, or judgement when mistakes are made - safety is paramount, and if they’re ever feeling unsafe in any way- text a safe word for immediate pickup, no questions asked. (Until later, perhaps).
10. Transition strategies to post-secondary and adulthood - we’re not quite done yet. Here the book is less useful to non-Americans, since in Canada our legal age is 18/19, not 21, and we don’t have a Greek system to contend with. So the legal reality of underage drinking is much less an issue.
Overall highly recommended and I only hope I practice and make use of it all with my two kids from now on!
1. Introduced to the author, not a psychologist, but a parent and teacher with firsthand knowledge of addiction herself (alcoholism) and as a teacher of adolescents in recovery.
2. A brief history of how our culture came to view drugs and alcohol until now. Types of addictive substances.
3. Neurobiology for the layperson - exactly why the risk of substance abuse is greater until age 25 as the brain develops.
4. The risk factors that lead to early experimentation, which is the greatest predictor of lifelong addiction. Adverse childhood events (spoiler - hard to avoid a fee for most people).
5. Protective factors we can use to our parental advantage. Idea of protective factors outweighing risk factors. This concept has come up in many parent educational seminars I’ve participated in for a variety of topics including addiction, early sexual activity and mental health issues.
6. House rules for parents to work on prevention.
7. Scripts and how to start conversations with kids of different ages and stages. Start in preschool!
8. The real risks of friendships and peer pressure. Statistics on exactly how many kids are trying which types of substances. The data show the numbers are lower than they think, and decreasing in recent years. Arm yourself to arm your kids with real data. Be prepared to be asked what choices you made at that age. Be honest where possible but don’t glorify at all, and discuss how you may have made other choices if you have regrets.
9. Addiction prevention programs at various ages in schools, and how to be effective, they must begin in preschool by focusing on healthy lifestyle and choices throughout elementary. This includes healthy friendships and consent, and is best done in small groups with practice of scripts to say no. This is ineffective in lecture format in all venues. Middle school is the tipping point and where the rubber meets the road - the groundwork should be laid in advance. However, it doesn’t stop either, and continues to be practiced throughout high school. Make sure kids no there is no shame, blame, or judgement when mistakes are made - safety is paramount, and if they’re ever feeling unsafe in any way- text a safe word for immediate pickup, no questions asked. (Until later, perhaps).
10. Transition strategies to post-secondary and adulthood - we’re not quite done yet. Here the book is less useful to non-Americans, since in Canada our legal age is 18/19, not 21, and we don’t have a Greek system to contend with. So the legal reality of underage drinking is much less an issue.
Overall highly recommended and I only hope I practice and make use of it all with my two kids from now on!
June 14, 2021
The last 60 pages of this work tell you exactly how well-researched this book is - all notes and index pages!
Told from the perspective of someone who is in recovery and teaches high school students while in treatment, this book hits many high marks as a great resource for both parents and educators.
As someone who is not in recovery but has loved ones who suffer from addiction issues, someone who teaches in an adolescent drug and alcohol treatment facility, and someone who is scared to death of the repetition of drug/alcohol addiction in her grandchildren, I can tell you that the library copy of this book was almost a necessary read...I need to own a copy of it and find other materials over the next years to stay on top of updates on how to continue "raising healthy (grand)kids in a culture of dependence" and supporting their parents in doing the same.
One negative about this work is the writer is a recovered alcoholic and most of the examples used revolve around alcoholism and not harder drugs. I don't mean to sound ignorant - all addiction struggles are struggles. The prevalence, though, in what I see is a 50-50 split of misuse of alcohol and marijuana and abuse of harder drugs. Alcohol is no longer the predominant form of abuse in high school treatment. Marijuana is a gateway substance. Generally speaking, when I begin to meet students in treatment for the most part, they have moved way beyond alcohol and marijuana (like I said, about a 50-50 split).
Next reading needs to be something regarding ACEs and how to lessen the impact of them with young children so that the risk of substance abuse later is lowered significantly.
All of this is heavy stuff and is especially meant for those in denial or those who are ignorant to the fact that any child and every child needs this form of "inoculation". I highly recommend this read if you are a parent, teacher, or an official who has influence over curriculum from pre-school through college.
Told from the perspective of someone who is in recovery and teaches high school students while in treatment, this book hits many high marks as a great resource for both parents and educators.
As someone who is not in recovery but has loved ones who suffer from addiction issues, someone who teaches in an adolescent drug and alcohol treatment facility, and someone who is scared to death of the repetition of drug/alcohol addiction in her grandchildren, I can tell you that the library copy of this book was almost a necessary read...I need to own a copy of it and find other materials over the next years to stay on top of updates on how to continue "raising healthy (grand)kids in a culture of dependence" and supporting their parents in doing the same.
One negative about this work is the writer is a recovered alcoholic and most of the examples used revolve around alcoholism and not harder drugs. I don't mean to sound ignorant - all addiction struggles are struggles. The prevalence, though, in what I see is a 50-50 split of misuse of alcohol and marijuana and abuse of harder drugs. Alcohol is no longer the predominant form of abuse in high school treatment. Marijuana is a gateway substance. Generally speaking, when I begin to meet students in treatment for the most part, they have moved way beyond alcohol and marijuana (like I said, about a 50-50 split).
Next reading needs to be something regarding ACEs and how to lessen the impact of them with young children so that the risk of substance abuse later is lowered significantly.
All of this is heavy stuff and is especially meant for those in denial or those who are ignorant to the fact that any child and every child needs this form of "inoculation". I highly recommend this read if you are a parent, teacher, or an official who has influence over curriculum from pre-school through college.
May 24, 2021
I think this was a bit off the mark, failing to address the "addictions" that many of our children face today. Lahey spends chapters detailing her own (and several young persons') struggle with alcoholism and drug abuse, which to me, is only one type of addiction facing kids, and not the most prevalent one. Lahey did not mention addiction to pornography and social media. Jean Twenge's book "iGen: Why Today's Super Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy - And Completely Unprepared for Adulthood" displays the statistics that alcoholism among young people is on the decline, and drug use has largely remained steady (mostly marijuana). Meanwhile, porn and social media are devouring our kids. (More on that: https://goanddo1.wixsite.com/mysite/p... )
I was hoping this book would address the broader, underlying reasons why kids tend to self-soothe with a *variety* of modern "conveniences," and what we can do about it, if anything. Yes, I read Lahey's book "The Gift of Failure," and the author's message about self-efficacy and self-reliance are really what should be the core of this book. Ideas about mindful tech use (like Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism) would also be relevant in this discussion. In "The Addiction Inoculation," Lahey *does* mention that developing self-efficacy in young people as well as a connected family life as some of the keys to avoiding addiction. More time should have been spent on this notion and less on the specific individual stories about alcoholism and drug abuse.
I was hoping this book would address the broader, underlying reasons why kids tend to self-soothe with a *variety* of modern "conveniences," and what we can do about it, if anything. Yes, I read Lahey's book "The Gift of Failure," and the author's message about self-efficacy and self-reliance are really what should be the core of this book. Ideas about mindful tech use (like Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism) would also be relevant in this discussion. In "The Addiction Inoculation," Lahey *does* mention that developing self-efficacy in young people as well as a connected family life as some of the keys to avoiding addiction. More time should have been spent on this notion and less on the specific individual stories about alcoholism and drug abuse.
September 12, 2023
I had read this authors earlier book, The gift of failure, and heard her on a podcast speaking about this book and was inclined to give it a read. After, reading her first book in print, and finding it a little long/verbose in areas I decided to try this one on audiobook. It is read by the author.
I found the book to be very informative! I learned a lot about the author's personal journey with addiction and alcohol and therefore more of that world. What really drew me to this book was the information I knew I would get on the dangers of addiction of alcohol and other substances to kids, teens, college students, and adults. The chapters were full of useful data on the rates, how ppl get addicted, when kids get addicted, and what that can lead to. For example, she speaks of people who have addiction in their family history and how they can combat that and tools to bring up their kids to prepare for that. She gives lots of good tools/prompts on how to handle tricky situations with alcohol, scripts of how to talk to kids about substances at different ages. Like with kids as early as pre k having conversations just around family health and how one takes care of their body. She gives stats on when and what kids are most likely to get addicted. And the chapter on college kids was what I expected but had hard facts to it. And that's really my main plus of this book, Lahey gives strong data points for her arguments. I don't know if all her go-to methods are for us, but she gave lots of ideas. And the book would be a great tool to read with a kid/teen/college student to present them with the hard facts of addiction and what it can do. I would highly recommend for parents, esp if addiction runs in the family. I would also highly recommend it for teachers as an invaluable aid of what to look for and how to help.
I found the book to be very informative! I learned a lot about the author's personal journey with addiction and alcohol and therefore more of that world. What really drew me to this book was the information I knew I would get on the dangers of addiction of alcohol and other substances to kids, teens, college students, and adults. The chapters were full of useful data on the rates, how ppl get addicted, when kids get addicted, and what that can lead to. For example, she speaks of people who have addiction in their family history and how they can combat that and tools to bring up their kids to prepare for that. She gives lots of good tools/prompts on how to handle tricky situations with alcohol, scripts of how to talk to kids about substances at different ages. Like with kids as early as pre k having conversations just around family health and how one takes care of their body. She gives stats on when and what kids are most likely to get addicted. And the chapter on college kids was what I expected but had hard facts to it. And that's really my main plus of this book, Lahey gives strong data points for her arguments. I don't know if all her go-to methods are for us, but she gave lots of ideas. And the book would be a great tool to read with a kid/teen/college student to present them with the hard facts of addiction and what it can do. I would highly recommend for parents, esp if addiction runs in the family. I would also highly recommend it for teachers as an invaluable aid of what to look for and how to help.
April 7, 2021
Weaving in author Jessica Lahey’s personal and professional experiences with research-backed information, this part memoir and part information deep dive gives parents and caregivers the tools to build strong and honest communication regarding substance use and addiction prevention.
Lahey dives into how young brains respond to substances, how genes and lifestyles play a role, and what parents can do moving forward. I appreciated knowing from a young age about my own family’s risk with substance abuse and so the chapter on how to start the conversation with our own children was especially powerful for me.
For many parents, talking about substance abuse can feel like a bit of a taboo topic and not only does Lahey help normalize these conversations but also gives practical advice on how to have these conversations, starting with very young children through adulthood.
The Addiction Inoculation taught me so much and also highlighted where we could be more proactive in our conversations with our elementary and middle school-aged children, and how to continue having this dialogue as they grow. Just like all the uncomfortable things we need to talk about with our kids but don’t always want to, the more we do it, the more easily it becomes just a normal part of our everyday conversations.
I highly recommend adding this book to your 2021 reading list and if you do read it, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Thank you to HarperCollins for my gifted copy. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own.
Lahey dives into how young brains respond to substances, how genes and lifestyles play a role, and what parents can do moving forward. I appreciated knowing from a young age about my own family’s risk with substance abuse and so the chapter on how to start the conversation with our own children was especially powerful for me.
For many parents, talking about substance abuse can feel like a bit of a taboo topic and not only does Lahey help normalize these conversations but also gives practical advice on how to have these conversations, starting with very young children through adulthood.
The Addiction Inoculation taught me so much and also highlighted where we could be more proactive in our conversations with our elementary and middle school-aged children, and how to continue having this dialogue as they grow. Just like all the uncomfortable things we need to talk about with our kids but don’t always want to, the more we do it, the more easily it becomes just a normal part of our everyday conversations.
I highly recommend adding this book to your 2021 reading list and if you do read it, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Thank you to HarperCollins for my gifted copy. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own.
January 27, 2022
I picked up this book thinking it was going to target dependence of technology, attempting to prepare myself a bit for re-entering the teaching world and all that face our high school students. While there were brief mentions of tech, the book primarily focused on addictive substances like alcohol, smoking, and drugs. But I didn't mind. I learned SO much, and it really gave me the perspective to think about how I want to approach these conversations with my own young kids. As for high schoolers, the book gave so much evidence, data, anecdotes, and recommendations, it's probably one I'll buy and keep as a reference. There is so much content in terms of preventative measures and best practices for schools and communities and parents to work to create environments where students don't even feel compelled to try illegal substances. It's a must-read for educators, legislators, parents, community leaders, school boards, and health care professionals...because really, it's on the shoulders of all of those adults to create a world in which children feel safe, seen, emotionally prepared, and confident to move into adulthood without the toxic influence of addictive substances.
February 8, 2022
Read on Blinkist
This book is clearly written by a paranoid American author, so as a British person I found myself raising my eyebrow at some of the points made.
I believe that there’s no issue with drinking alcohol above the legal age. In the UK private consumption is age 5+ which I could consider too young, but young teenagers 12+ I don’t see an issue with.
Learning to drink in safe environments and appropriate situations will create healthier adults than forcing abstinence would. I was lucky that my parents were always open to me trying alcohol, and would buy me anything I wanted.
As a teenager I could tell who was ‘banned’ from drinking at home as they would sneak drink out of the house and find getting drunk a thrill. I wasn’t as interested as that was all already available to me if I wanted it.
As an adult, I drink rarely and socially. I’ve never been drunk, and never want to as I’ve learnt how to enjoy alcohol in a healthy way.
Kids will be kids, and protecting them from all danger will make them more curious. Giving them a safe space to experiment is a much better alternative to banning things altogether.
This book is clearly written by a paranoid American author, so as a British person I found myself raising my eyebrow at some of the points made.
I believe that there’s no issue with drinking alcohol above the legal age. In the UK private consumption is age 5+ which I could consider too young, but young teenagers 12+ I don’t see an issue with.
Learning to drink in safe environments and appropriate situations will create healthier adults than forcing abstinence would. I was lucky that my parents were always open to me trying alcohol, and would buy me anything I wanted.
As a teenager I could tell who was ‘banned’ from drinking at home as they would sneak drink out of the house and find getting drunk a thrill. I wasn’t as interested as that was all already available to me if I wanted it.
As an adult, I drink rarely and socially. I’ve never been drunk, and never want to as I’ve learnt how to enjoy alcohol in a healthy way.
Kids will be kids, and protecting them from all danger will make them more curious. Giving them a safe space to experiment is a much better alternative to banning things altogether.
Read
February 8, 2022Because of the way the human brain develops, substance use is particularly attractive to adolescents – but at their age, it’s also uniquely damaging. Protecting your kids from adverse childhood experiences will reduce the likelihood they’ll use alcohol or drugs down the line, as will maintaining a candid and trusting dialogue with them. Beyond that, do your best to give them a strong sense of self-efficacy – and equip them to deal with peer pressure before they encounter it.
And here’s some more actionable advice:
Have a code word your kids can use when they need a ride.
If your child finds herself in a threatening situation, she might not always feel able to let you know. She might be concerned that peers will overhear a phone call, for example, and tease her for wanting to leave – or she might not want a friend to spot her text message and take offense. Either way, agreeing on a code word, or code emoji, can solve the problem. Simply dropping it into conversation is your kid’s way of saying, “I’d like to leave – please, come and get me.”
And here’s some more actionable advice:
Have a code word your kids can use when they need a ride.
If your child finds herself in a threatening situation, she might not always feel able to let you know. She might be concerned that peers will overhear a phone call, for example, and tease her for wanting to leave – or she might not want a friend to spot her text message and take offense. Either way, agreeing on a code word, or code emoji, can solve the problem. Simply dropping it into conversation is your kid’s way of saying, “I’d like to leave – please, come and get me.”
October 29, 2022
Jess Lahey, a brilliant nonfiction writer, teacher in schools and rehab facilities, mom, and self described alcoholic brings bits of memoir, research based nonfiction and parenting selfhelp together for a readable and very interesting book on why people use and abuse substances, why the adolescent brain is made for new experiences, why youth are at risk of substance use while being more vulnerable to the effects of these substances. She identifies major risk factors for substance abuse - some changeable some not - and pairs this with hands-on chapters on what adults can do to stack up positives against a child’s risk factors. As a kid of a parent with substance issues this was highly interesting to me especially knowing that there are genetic factors to consider. I have read parts of this book aloud to my teens and/of my husband and we have all appreciated the depth of research as well as the practical ways that adults can change their thinking and behavior and begin preventing teen and early adult substance use and abuse at home.
May 24, 2024
Loved this book! The author was very aware of her family history of addiction and so actively avoided it until her 40s when she became an alcoholic. She then goes on a quest to learn more to help her own children. This is one I will reread when my kids are a little older, but I had a couple key takeaways. One is that society tries to scare kids with horror stories of drug addiction, but the truth is no one can really envision themselves as an addict. However, addiction starts with that first try of a drug, and we can do better about preparing them to say no in that early moment. She also shared a lot of statistics that I think are worth sharing with kids. “Everybody’s doing it”? No, they’re not. I was inspired by the way she turned a difficult time in her life into a mission to help others.
April 7, 2021
Weaving in author Jessica Lahey’s personal and professional experiences with research-backed information, this part memoir and part information deep dive gives parents and caregivers the tools to build strong and honest communication regarding substance use and addiction prevention.
Lahey dives into how young brains respond to substances, how genes and lifestyles play a role, and what parents can do moving forward. I appreciated knowing from a young age about my own family’s risk with substance abuse and so the chapter on how to start the conversation with our own children was especially powerful for me.
For many parents, talking about substance abuse can feel like a bit of a taboo topic and not only does Lahey help normalize these conversations but also gives practical advice on how to have these conversations, starting with very young children through adulthood.
The Addiction Inoculation taught me so much and also highlighted where we could be more proactive in our conversations with our elementary and middle school-aged children, and how to continue having this dialogue as they grow. Just like all the uncomfortable things we need to talk about with our kids but don’t always want to, the more we do it, the more easily it becomes just a normal part of our everyday conversations.
I highly recommend adding this book to your 2021 reading list and if you do read it, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Thank you to HarperCollins for my gifted copy. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own.
Lahey dives into how young brains respond to substances, how genes and lifestyles play a role, and what parents can do moving forward. I appreciated knowing from a young age about my own family’s risk with substance abuse and so the chapter on how to start the conversation with our own children was especially powerful for me.
For many parents, talking about substance abuse can feel like a bit of a taboo topic and not only does Lahey help normalize these conversations but also gives practical advice on how to have these conversations, starting with very young children through adulthood.
The Addiction Inoculation taught me so much and also highlighted where we could be more proactive in our conversations with our elementary and middle school-aged children, and how to continue having this dialogue as they grow. Just like all the uncomfortable things we need to talk about with our kids but don’t always want to, the more we do it, the more easily it becomes just a normal part of our everyday conversations.
I highly recommend adding this book to your 2021 reading list and if you do read it, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Thank you to HarperCollins for my gifted copy. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own.
July 31, 2021
This is an exceptionally comprehensive, engaging read for parents and educators looking for tools to help the children in their lives avoid childhood and adult dependence issues.
Jessica Lahey engages the reader through a combination of memoir and evidence based research. She shares critical child development/dependence data, applies that information to real world situations, and provides accessible, reasonable, and realistic steps that adults can take to reduce a child's risk of substance abuse issues.
She also debunks many self-defeating myths about substance access and children ("sips", European drinking, etc), all while providing alternative, tangible measures parents can take to reduce a family's overall risk that substances will make a lasting negative impact on their home.
Jessica Lahey engages the reader through a combination of memoir and evidence based research. She shares critical child development/dependence data, applies that information to real world situations, and provides accessible, reasonable, and realistic steps that adults can take to reduce a child's risk of substance abuse issues.
She also debunks many self-defeating myths about substance access and children ("sips", European drinking, etc), all while providing alternative, tangible measures parents can take to reduce a family's overall risk that substances will make a lasting negative impact on their home.
August 27, 2021
Liked the memoir beginning of this book and the science behind addiction in formative years. Also the reminders to developing trusting communicative relationships with teens and have contracts set in motion. I liked the part about talking to your kid about friendships and how they feel when they are with certain friends. I liked the hard stance against permissive parenting--drinking at age 21 and really brain formation takes all the way to age 25. Setting clear guidelines, and no you can't try this now. Would have to re-read the science part again because knowing the science is what makes you credible when talking to kids.
February 8, 2022
This is a book every parent should know about if they want to help their children and developing a mental health. I am highly recommend this book to be read. Because of the way the human brain develops, substance use is particularly attractive to adolescents – but at their age, it’s also uniquely damaging. Protecting your kids from adverse childhood experiences will reduce the likelihood they’ll use alcohol or drugs down the line, as will maintaining a candid and trusting dialogue with them. Beyond that, do your best to give them a strong sense of self-efficacy – and equip them to deal with peer pressure before they encounter it.
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