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Tell it All: The Story of a Life's Experience in Mormonism
Thomas Brown Holmes Stenhouse was an early Mormon pioneer and missionary who later became a Godbeite and with his wife, Fanny Stenhouse, became a vocal opponent of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
As Godbeites, Stenhouse and his wife published several exposés of Mormonism.
In 1872, Fanny Stenhouse published "Tell it All": The Story of a Life Experience in Mormonism.
"In these pages, a woman, a wife and mother, speaks the sorrows and oppressions of which she has been the witness and the victim.
It is because her sorrows and her oppressions are those of thousands, who, suffering like her, cannot or dare not speak for themselves, that she thus gives this history to the public.
It is no sensational story, but a plain, unvarnished tale of truth, stranger and sadder than fiction..."
H. B. STOWE
As Godbeites, Stenhouse and his wife published several exposés of Mormonism.
In 1872, Fanny Stenhouse published "Tell it All": The Story of a Life Experience in Mormonism.
"In these pages, a woman, a wife and mother, speaks the sorrows and oppressions of which she has been the witness and the victim.
It is because her sorrows and her oppressions are those of thousands, who, suffering like her, cannot or dare not speak for themselves, that she thus gives this history to the public.
It is no sensational story, but a plain, unvarnished tale of truth, stranger and sadder than fiction..."
H. B. STOWE
289 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 1, 1874
1056 people are currently reading
549 people want to read
About the author
Fanny Stenhouse
8 books3 followersStenhouse, Fanny, "Mrs. T. B. H. Stenhouse," 1829- [from old catalog]
from Library of Congress website
from Library of Congress website
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 75 reviews
January 24, 2018
I know I am supposed to be a man, but I cried my way through much of this book. Fanny hailed from my own native England where she married a Mormon missionary in favour of another man she was betrothed to. She tells of her adventures when called to serve a mission with her new husband and later of their emigration to Utah, only then learning that denials of early polygamy she had heard from the lips of apostles in England were lies and how she had to live with the truth about polygamy, to the extent that her own husband felt obliged to take a second wife. Her story is heartbreaking and brilliantly well written - and most unfortunately, it is true. I will not reveal the end of her story which was ultimately somewhat better than her arduous journey. You can download the book free - just Google the title. It is a must read for anyone interested in some of the real life experiences of early Mormon women.
October 24, 2011
"Tell It All" is the heartbreaking autobiography of Fanny Stenhouse. Her story begins with her as a young woman returning home to England, after spending some time in France, to discover that her family had converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While investigating her family’s new-found faith, she became the object of one of the Elders’ affections. They were soon married and subsequently ‘counseled’ to serve a mission for the Church while in impoverished conditions. It was only after years of whispered rumours (and public denials by apostles) of polygamy being practiced among their American counterparts, that Joseph Smith’s polygamic ‘revelation’ was finally disclosed in England. Her adventures only truly began when she and her husband were later ‘counseled’ to emigrate to the 'promised land' of Utah, where she learned, first-hand, the detrimental effects of Brigham Young's institutionalized polygamy.
This autobiography is extremely well-written and thoughtfully edited. Stenhouse is able to describe her own experiences with such detail that you can't help but feel empathy for the atrocities that plagued her life. Throughout the book, she supplements her story by inserting letters written to her by her closest friend who goes through similar trials, though at different times. This second point of view allows the reader to have a richer understanding of the events and trials of early Mormon women in Utah, and helps illustrate that these experiences are not limited to the author, but are common in that time.
Fanny comes across as a critically-minded feminist woman (to use a modern description), and clearly expresses how even a strong woman can find herself rendered powerless against the male priesthood and her own cognitive dissidence toward Mormonism. She even describes the Rocky Mountains around the Salt Lake valley as being her prison walls, knowing full well that any attempt to leave the Mormon settlement would be utterly useless for a woman in her position. She includes descriptions of many early church events and rituals, including The Mountain Meadows Massacre, the Hand Cart companies, temple sealing, and endowment ceremonies. Woven into her story are incredibly detailed character sketches of prominent church figures with whom she had dealings, including a scathing description of Brigham Young. She concludes the book by summarizing the various legal changes that had taken place in Utah between the time she left and the time of the book’s publication, as well as statistical information she had since researched.
There is no better way to understand what it was like to be a woman in the heart of polygamist Utah under the tyranny of Brigham Young, than to hear Fanny Stenhouse Tell It All.
Below are a few passages that I found to be representative of the writing, tone, and content of the book:
“Of one thing I am certain I was then indeed a miserable slave, with no one to stretch forth a kindly hand and strike away the fetters of my mental degradation and lead me forth into light and liberty.” [p.369]
"It is a cruel thing for a woman anywhere to know that her husband's affections are divided, that she is not his only love, and that his heart is no longer all her. But far worse is the lot of the wife in Utah. She has to see and be present when the love-making is going on, when her husband is flirting and saying soft nonsense, or looking unutterable things at silly girls who are young enough to be her daughters ; —nay, her own daughters and her husband's may actually be older than the damsel he is courting for his second wife ! Such an outrage upon the holiest feelings of womanhood would not for a moment be tolerated in any civilised community ; but among the Saints women are taught that this is but one part of that cross which we all have got to bear. … How sweetly did the men preach patience and submission to the will of Heaven. I wonder where their own patience and submission would have been had matters been reversed and their wives had been taught that it was their privilege and a religious duty to court, and flirt with and marry men younger and handsomer than their husbands.” [p.382-3]
“The husband is the lord and master, and a woman's wishes count for nought.” [p.383]
“... yet the poor deluded women persuade themselves that this system is right and in accordance with the revealed will of God; and they think that the evil—poor creatures!—is in their own hearts and that they deserve to suffer.” [p.384]
“It may appear strange that such absurdities should ever seriously have found a place in my mind ; but when one at starting accepts a system as true—however absurd that system may be—and learns to regard all that is connected with it as beyond the shadow of a doubt — after years of discipline, the mind is ready to receive almost anything that may be offered to it from the same source. In my own case, I was so convinced that, however reason might object, all that we were taught was true, that I was utterly without hope, and would have felt happy could I have believed that death was annihilation. Of earthly happiness I had given up all expectation.” [p.423]
“Surrounded by my children, living under the same roof with my husband, my heart was, nevertheless, filled with a sense of utter loneliness and desolation. There was no one in whom I could confide, to whom I might tell my sorrows, and from whose counsel or strength I might derive comfort I dared not even go and lay my griefs before God, for I had been led to believe that all my suffering was caused by an arbitrary decree which He willed to be enforced. How false a notion of that loving heavenly Father whose tender care is so manifestly shown in his gentle dealings with the weakest of His creatures !” [p.424]
“Why, I was compelled to drain the cup of degradation to its very dregs—the sanctity of my home itself was invaded, and I felt ashamed to think that I—wife and mother as I was—was entertaining my husband’s affianced “wife” (!)—a child no older than my own eldest girl ; and before long she would be brought home in my presence and among my children! Oh, detestable and unnatural desecration of the sanctity of home! Oh brutalising and immoral burlesque upon religious faith! How could I ever have deluded myself into the idea that such a profanation of all that is good could by any possibility be right, that such an outrage upon decency and propriety, such a violation of the laws of reason and religion could be pleasing in the sight of an all-pure God ?” [p.440]
“Whether Brigham was the deceiver or the deceived, I do not wish to say. Men who consider themselves inspired, and go on day by day uttering all sorts of nonsense and blasphemy, and giving impertinent and mischievous advice in the "name of the Lord," at last become thoroughly impervious to reason, and daily and hourly deceive themselves. I hope, for his own sake, it was so with Brigham, for I would rather believe him a self-made fool than a downright knave ; and in many of his transactions—perhaps I ought almost to say all—it is clear to every one that he is either one or the other.” [p.560]
“Those who have never been enslaved by a superstitious faith which mentally and bodily enthrals [sic.] its devotees, as Mormonism does, can form no idea of the joy, the happiness, which is experienced when, after years of spiritual servitude, the shackles are burst asunder and the slave is "free !" [p.578]
“Never ; until new hearts and new natures are given to the women of Utah, and all that is womanly, and pure, and sacred, is crushed out from their souls, can one single woman be truly happy in Polygamy ! They may say so publicly, they may, for their religion's sake, tell strangers that thus it is ; but listen to them when they are alone among themselves ; read, if you can, their hearts, and mark the bitterness which they try to stifle there ; nay, see upon their very features the handwriting which bears witness against their assertion that they are happy and which proclaims to the world the sorrow which they vainly try to hide !” [p.622]
This autobiography is extremely well-written and thoughtfully edited. Stenhouse is able to describe her own experiences with such detail that you can't help but feel empathy for the atrocities that plagued her life. Throughout the book, she supplements her story by inserting letters written to her by her closest friend who goes through similar trials, though at different times. This second point of view allows the reader to have a richer understanding of the events and trials of early Mormon women in Utah, and helps illustrate that these experiences are not limited to the author, but are common in that time.
Fanny comes across as a critically-minded feminist woman (to use a modern description), and clearly expresses how even a strong woman can find herself rendered powerless against the male priesthood and her own cognitive dissidence toward Mormonism. She even describes the Rocky Mountains around the Salt Lake valley as being her prison walls, knowing full well that any attempt to leave the Mormon settlement would be utterly useless for a woman in her position. She includes descriptions of many early church events and rituals, including The Mountain Meadows Massacre, the Hand Cart companies, temple sealing, and endowment ceremonies. Woven into her story are incredibly detailed character sketches of prominent church figures with whom she had dealings, including a scathing description of Brigham Young. She concludes the book by summarizing the various legal changes that had taken place in Utah between the time she left and the time of the book’s publication, as well as statistical information she had since researched.
There is no better way to understand what it was like to be a woman in the heart of polygamist Utah under the tyranny of Brigham Young, than to hear Fanny Stenhouse Tell It All.
Below are a few passages that I found to be representative of the writing, tone, and content of the book:
“Of one thing I am certain I was then indeed a miserable slave, with no one to stretch forth a kindly hand and strike away the fetters of my mental degradation and lead me forth into light and liberty.” [p.369]
"It is a cruel thing for a woman anywhere to know that her husband's affections are divided, that she is not his only love, and that his heart is no longer all her. But far worse is the lot of the wife in Utah. She has to see and be present when the love-making is going on, when her husband is flirting and saying soft nonsense, or looking unutterable things at silly girls who are young enough to be her daughters ; —nay, her own daughters and her husband's may actually be older than the damsel he is courting for his second wife ! Such an outrage upon the holiest feelings of womanhood would not for a moment be tolerated in any civilised community ; but among the Saints women are taught that this is but one part of that cross which we all have got to bear. … How sweetly did the men preach patience and submission to the will of Heaven. I wonder where their own patience and submission would have been had matters been reversed and their wives had been taught that it was their privilege and a religious duty to court, and flirt with and marry men younger and handsomer than their husbands.” [p.382-3]
“The husband is the lord and master, and a woman's wishes count for nought.” [p.383]
“... yet the poor deluded women persuade themselves that this system is right and in accordance with the revealed will of God; and they think that the evil—poor creatures!—is in their own hearts and that they deserve to suffer.” [p.384]
“It may appear strange that such absurdities should ever seriously have found a place in my mind ; but when one at starting accepts a system as true—however absurd that system may be—and learns to regard all that is connected with it as beyond the shadow of a doubt — after years of discipline, the mind is ready to receive almost anything that may be offered to it from the same source. In my own case, I was so convinced that, however reason might object, all that we were taught was true, that I was utterly without hope, and would have felt happy could I have believed that death was annihilation. Of earthly happiness I had given up all expectation.” [p.423]
“Surrounded by my children, living under the same roof with my husband, my heart was, nevertheless, filled with a sense of utter loneliness and desolation. There was no one in whom I could confide, to whom I might tell my sorrows, and from whose counsel or strength I might derive comfort I dared not even go and lay my griefs before God, for I had been led to believe that all my suffering was caused by an arbitrary decree which He willed to be enforced. How false a notion of that loving heavenly Father whose tender care is so manifestly shown in his gentle dealings with the weakest of His creatures !” [p.424]
“Why, I was compelled to drain the cup of degradation to its very dregs—the sanctity of my home itself was invaded, and I felt ashamed to think that I—wife and mother as I was—was entertaining my husband’s affianced “wife” (!)—a child no older than my own eldest girl ; and before long she would be brought home in my presence and among my children! Oh, detestable and unnatural desecration of the sanctity of home! Oh brutalising and immoral burlesque upon religious faith! How could I ever have deluded myself into the idea that such a profanation of all that is good could by any possibility be right, that such an outrage upon decency and propriety, such a violation of the laws of reason and religion could be pleasing in the sight of an all-pure God ?” [p.440]
“Whether Brigham was the deceiver or the deceived, I do not wish to say. Men who consider themselves inspired, and go on day by day uttering all sorts of nonsense and blasphemy, and giving impertinent and mischievous advice in the "name of the Lord," at last become thoroughly impervious to reason, and daily and hourly deceive themselves. I hope, for his own sake, it was so with Brigham, for I would rather believe him a self-made fool than a downright knave ; and in many of his transactions—perhaps I ought almost to say all—it is clear to every one that he is either one or the other.” [p.560]
“Those who have never been enslaved by a superstitious faith which mentally and bodily enthrals [sic.] its devotees, as Mormonism does, can form no idea of the joy, the happiness, which is experienced when, after years of spiritual servitude, the shackles are burst asunder and the slave is "free !" [p.578]
“Never ; until new hearts and new natures are given to the women of Utah, and all that is womanly, and pure, and sacred, is crushed out from their souls, can one single woman be truly happy in Polygamy ! They may say so publicly, they may, for their religion's sake, tell strangers that thus it is ; but listen to them when they are alone among themselves ; read, if you can, their hearts, and mark the bitterness which they try to stifle there ; nay, see upon their very features the handwriting which bears witness against their assertion that they are happy and which proclaims to the world the sorrow which they vainly try to hide !” [p.622]
February 20, 2019
The author is well able to tell her story. She is educated, level-headed, and impassioned. In spite of the fact that the events of the story have impacted her life horribly, she is able to tell of them with a clear and honest perspective. She makes a point of letting the reader know how and why she knows the things she does and does not stoop to mere gossip, but sticks to the facts. And surprisingly, even in the midst of this very difficult subject, she is able to occasionally bring in a small bit of natural humor. This book is well worth the read for any honest, curious mind.
October 13, 2023
An excruciating painful read. But it is an essential read for all members of the LDS church. Learning the history of the Mormon church during those early Utah years is important.
And learning it from a Mormon woman is mind blowing.
This is Fanny’s first hand experience with the Mormon church of being converted and marrying her Mormon missionary. Than traveling to the Utah Territory with her husband. Her experience with polygamy and watching her daughter marry into polygamy with Brigham Young’s son, Joseph A Young. It is very well written and is a must read.
And learning it from a Mormon woman is mind blowing.
This is Fanny’s first hand experience with the Mormon church of being converted and marrying her Mormon missionary. Than traveling to the Utah Territory with her husband. Her experience with polygamy and watching her daughter marry into polygamy with Brigham Young’s son, Joseph A Young. It is very well written and is a must read.
November 5, 2024
Fanny Stenhouse... What a presence, person, power, and courage! We often talk about feminist authors, such as Maya Angelou, Margret Atwood, Toni Morrison, and Virginia Woolf, yet the world has failed Stenhouse. She may have been overlooked because of her activism in her religion; however, only a reader of her mesmerizing words can decipher her position in religion, marriage, child-rearing, women in the workplace... This list is literally endless.
She mentions numerous times that her words are feeble and that she's mainly addressing the people (specifically the women) of Utah and the LDS Church. I wonder what her reaction would be if she realizes that a person in the Middle East from a completely different religion and denomination picked up her book after so many years and read it cover to cover. I hope she did not leave this earth unbeknownst of the influence she held. I hope her years after apostatizing were congenial and worth living for. I hope she did not suffer anymore and understood what it is to live. I will dream of such a reality. I also wish for an afterlife where I would meet her and transfer all this unto her. How brave must she have been in times where the place of a woman was known to be meek!
I have to say that I rather enjoyed the language that the author uses, from vocabulary to syntax and more. I mention this, because her hatred and hostility towards Brigham Young could not have been articulated any better than the reality of the book. I can feel it as if Stenhouse is facing me and talking to me out loud, stressing it all. I can feel it, heartily, in 2024, something that was published many decades ago!
I was fortunate enough to have read the Book of Mormon ere dissecting Stenhouse's. With that being said, here's what I wish to share. All points are, verbatim, the same notes I had taken in the process of my study of "Tell it All".
1. So, Joseph Smith had the revelation of the plurality order of matrimony (or simply the plurality of wives) since July 12th, 1843, but chose not to disclose it until 10 years in the future? Isn't that a little singular and hard to believe? Isn't that a long time to reveal a doctrine in any religion?
2. I didn't enjoy reading about the hand-cart scheme. However, seeing as though this is a memoire, neither the reader nor the author can handpick what to include for the sake of transferring the whole and accurate consecutiveness of the events that have taken place.
Therefore, I do not throw or pass blame. It could be that I didn't enjoy the chapters of the hand-cart scheme because of the trials and the absurdity of the situations that the Mormon folk had to endure.
As a non-Mormon, who is completely satisfied and happy with where she is, I'm surprised at how the statistics of the excommunicated people were not more that the given during the scheme!
3. I am sorry as to how Joseph Smith and his brother lost their lives. I cannot imagine that kind of pain and suffering. However, I do wonder about the credibility of the golden plates.
4. Heber C. Kimball's sermon in chapter 23 has got to be the worst sermon I've ever read or heard. The words that he used were those of an uneducated man, and the strategy through which he chose to convey the message was in no way respectful. I was going to use the word "peasant" somewhere in this paragraph but chose not to as a form of respect to peasants everywhere.
5. Brigham Young has got to be the most immoral person ever lived. Perhaps, parts of him reside in world leaders who decide to make the lives of well-deserving people a living hell. Here's one example as backing for my argument. The author works on creating millinery that Brigham had requested for his numerous wives. Yet, when he's asked to pay 275 dollars, he refuses and basically decides, all by himself, that the money should be presented to the Church as tithing? How cheap was he? And this I say with all due respect to past, present, and future members of the Church.
6. How did they know that Adam had a touch of Mormon about him?
7. The oath of a Mormon Church when one gets married is to avenge the death of Joseph Smith and teach the children to do the same?
8. I wonder what happened to the author's parents and sister. We only got a small window into their lives in the first few chapters.
9. What happened to their daughter post-apostatizing?
10. I now abhor the word "counselled". Never have I ever despised a word so much.
11. If everything told and written in this book is true, and I firmly believe that it is, how did Stenhouse remember all the conversations she'd had? Some of them are from decades before her writing period. I'm amazed and, perhaps, a little baffled.
Here are some of my favorite passages from the book. They can be for reasons of irony or strength of words. I've also included the chapters they're taken from.
1. "...Brigham Young and "the Church" are synonymous terms" (Ch. 16)
2. "So she left me wondering over her strange story of a woman's experience in supplying her own husband with wives." (Ch. 22)
3. "They considered McLean a sinner for doing just exactly what any Saint would have certainly done." (Ch. 26)
4. "Instead of the happy wife and mother which she once had been, she had become a victim to that faith which in its very existence is an insult to womanhood." (Ch. 28)
5. "And though I suppose I shall remain a Mormon till the day of my death, I have learned to hate Mormonism." (Ch. 28)
6. "And he told the driver - who, I think, was one of his own sons - to call round and see "the folks", meaning his wives." (Ch.28)
7. "Let me be second, for then I shall feel that I am nearer to you, and I want you always to think that, when you die, if I have the power, I shall be the first to meet you and take you by the hand." (Ch. 30, Carrie)
8. "Thus it was that I never conversed freely with any one who could have informed me truthfully of the origin of Mormonism, and consequently I brooded over my religion as a melancholy fact; but, though with moments of weakness and wavering, I never thoroughly doubted its divine origin." (Ch. 31)
9. "Are you willing to give this woman to your husband to be his lawful wife for time and for all eternity? If you are, you will signify it by placing her right hand within the right hand of your husband." (Ch. 31, Brigham)
10. "Mrs. Stenhouse, when I had been here about three weeks, I thought that I knew enough of Mormonism to write a book; when I had been here three months, I began to think that I did not know quite as much; and now, after five years, I have come to the conclusion that I really know nothing at all." (Ch. 34)
11. "My husband gave no signs of apostasy, and as a Saint, I knew he would never think of undertaking anything without the permission of Brother Brigham. We did not even dare to leave the city without consulting the prophet." (Ch. 34)
12. "Whether Brigham was the deceiver or the deceived. I do not wish to say. Men who consider themselves inspired, and go on day by day uttering all sorts of nonsense and blasphemy, and giving impertinent and mischievous advice in the "name of the Lord", at last become thoroughly impervious to reason, and daily and hourly deceive themselves. I hope, for his own sake, it was so with Brigham, for I would rather believe him a self-made fool than a downright knave; and in many of his transactions - perhaps I ought almost to say all - it is clear to every one that he is either one or the other. Of one thing I am certain - I was fully contented that we should lose all, if only my husband were taken, once and for ever, clean out of the meshes of Mormonism. We might have to make a terrible sacrifice, but to me it was a sacrifice well worth the making." (Ch. 37)
13. "To the utmost of my power - weak though I might be - I would arouse the women of Utah to a sense of the wrongs which they endured; I would proclaim to the world the disgrace which Mormonism is to the great American nation, the foul blot that it is upon Christianity and the civilization of the age." (Ch. 39)
14. "I think that during all that time he never ceased to entertain the fondest affection for me; and, if he was foolishly confiding in those who he believed were divinely authorized and speaking by inspiration, can I blame him when I remember that I myself was actuated by the same faith?" (Ch. 41)
15. "I have done nothing designedly wrong in this affair. I used my utmost endeavors to save these people. I would have given worlds were they at my command to have avoided that calamity, but I could not. I am sacrificed to satisfy feelings, and am used to gratify parties; but I am ready to die. I have no fear of death. It has no terrors for me; and no particle of mercy have I asked for from court or officials to spare my life. I do not fear death. I shall never go to a worse place than the one I am now in." (Postscript, John D. Lee)
16. "Let them shoot the balls through my heart; don't let them mangle my body." (Postscript, John D. Lee)
She mentions numerous times that her words are feeble and that she's mainly addressing the people (specifically the women) of Utah and the LDS Church. I wonder what her reaction would be if she realizes that a person in the Middle East from a completely different religion and denomination picked up her book after so many years and read it cover to cover. I hope she did not leave this earth unbeknownst of the influence she held. I hope her years after apostatizing were congenial and worth living for. I hope she did not suffer anymore and understood what it is to live. I will dream of such a reality. I also wish for an afterlife where I would meet her and transfer all this unto her. How brave must she have been in times where the place of a woman was known to be meek!
I have to say that I rather enjoyed the language that the author uses, from vocabulary to syntax and more. I mention this, because her hatred and hostility towards Brigham Young could not have been articulated any better than the reality of the book. I can feel it as if Stenhouse is facing me and talking to me out loud, stressing it all. I can feel it, heartily, in 2024, something that was published many decades ago!
I was fortunate enough to have read the Book of Mormon ere dissecting Stenhouse's. With that being said, here's what I wish to share. All points are, verbatim, the same notes I had taken in the process of my study of "Tell it All".
1. So, Joseph Smith had the revelation of the plurality order of matrimony (or simply the plurality of wives) since July 12th, 1843, but chose not to disclose it until 10 years in the future? Isn't that a little singular and hard to believe? Isn't that a long time to reveal a doctrine in any religion?
2. I didn't enjoy reading about the hand-cart scheme. However, seeing as though this is a memoire, neither the reader nor the author can handpick what to include for the sake of transferring the whole and accurate consecutiveness of the events that have taken place.
Therefore, I do not throw or pass blame. It could be that I didn't enjoy the chapters of the hand-cart scheme because of the trials and the absurdity of the situations that the Mormon folk had to endure.
As a non-Mormon, who is completely satisfied and happy with where she is, I'm surprised at how the statistics of the excommunicated people were not more that the given during the scheme!
3. I am sorry as to how Joseph Smith and his brother lost their lives. I cannot imagine that kind of pain and suffering. However, I do wonder about the credibility of the golden plates.
4. Heber C. Kimball's sermon in chapter 23 has got to be the worst sermon I've ever read or heard. The words that he used were those of an uneducated man, and the strategy through which he chose to convey the message was in no way respectful. I was going to use the word "peasant" somewhere in this paragraph but chose not to as a form of respect to peasants everywhere.
5. Brigham Young has got to be the most immoral person ever lived. Perhaps, parts of him reside in world leaders who decide to make the lives of well-deserving people a living hell. Here's one example as backing for my argument. The author works on creating millinery that Brigham had requested for his numerous wives. Yet, when he's asked to pay 275 dollars, he refuses and basically decides, all by himself, that the money should be presented to the Church as tithing? How cheap was he? And this I say with all due respect to past, present, and future members of the Church.
6. How did they know that Adam had a touch of Mormon about him?
7. The oath of a Mormon Church when one gets married is to avenge the death of Joseph Smith and teach the children to do the same?
8. I wonder what happened to the author's parents and sister. We only got a small window into their lives in the first few chapters.
9. What happened to their daughter post-apostatizing?
10. I now abhor the word "counselled". Never have I ever despised a word so much.
11. If everything told and written in this book is true, and I firmly believe that it is, how did Stenhouse remember all the conversations she'd had? Some of them are from decades before her writing period. I'm amazed and, perhaps, a little baffled.
Here are some of my favorite passages from the book. They can be for reasons of irony or strength of words. I've also included the chapters they're taken from.
1. "...Brigham Young and "the Church" are synonymous terms" (Ch. 16)
2. "So she left me wondering over her strange story of a woman's experience in supplying her own husband with wives." (Ch. 22)
3. "They considered McLean a sinner for doing just exactly what any Saint would have certainly done." (Ch. 26)
4. "Instead of the happy wife and mother which she once had been, she had become a victim to that faith which in its very existence is an insult to womanhood." (Ch. 28)
5. "And though I suppose I shall remain a Mormon till the day of my death, I have learned to hate Mormonism." (Ch. 28)
6. "And he told the driver - who, I think, was one of his own sons - to call round and see "the folks", meaning his wives." (Ch.28)
7. "Let me be second, for then I shall feel that I am nearer to you, and I want you always to think that, when you die, if I have the power, I shall be the first to meet you and take you by the hand." (Ch. 30, Carrie)
8. "Thus it was that I never conversed freely with any one who could have informed me truthfully of the origin of Mormonism, and consequently I brooded over my religion as a melancholy fact; but, though with moments of weakness and wavering, I never thoroughly doubted its divine origin." (Ch. 31)
9. "Are you willing to give this woman to your husband to be his lawful wife for time and for all eternity? If you are, you will signify it by placing her right hand within the right hand of your husband." (Ch. 31, Brigham)
10. "Mrs. Stenhouse, when I had been here about three weeks, I thought that I knew enough of Mormonism to write a book; when I had been here three months, I began to think that I did not know quite as much; and now, after five years, I have come to the conclusion that I really know nothing at all." (Ch. 34)
11. "My husband gave no signs of apostasy, and as a Saint, I knew he would never think of undertaking anything without the permission of Brother Brigham. We did not even dare to leave the city without consulting the prophet." (Ch. 34)
12. "Whether Brigham was the deceiver or the deceived. I do not wish to say. Men who consider themselves inspired, and go on day by day uttering all sorts of nonsense and blasphemy, and giving impertinent and mischievous advice in the "name of the Lord", at last become thoroughly impervious to reason, and daily and hourly deceive themselves. I hope, for his own sake, it was so with Brigham, for I would rather believe him a self-made fool than a downright knave; and in many of his transactions - perhaps I ought almost to say all - it is clear to every one that he is either one or the other. Of one thing I am certain - I was fully contented that we should lose all, if only my husband were taken, once and for ever, clean out of the meshes of Mormonism. We might have to make a terrible sacrifice, but to me it was a sacrifice well worth the making." (Ch. 37)
13. "To the utmost of my power - weak though I might be - I would arouse the women of Utah to a sense of the wrongs which they endured; I would proclaim to the world the disgrace which Mormonism is to the great American nation, the foul blot that it is upon Christianity and the civilization of the age." (Ch. 39)
14. "I think that during all that time he never ceased to entertain the fondest affection for me; and, if he was foolishly confiding in those who he believed were divinely authorized and speaking by inspiration, can I blame him when I remember that I myself was actuated by the same faith?" (Ch. 41)
15. "I have done nothing designedly wrong in this affair. I used my utmost endeavors to save these people. I would have given worlds were they at my command to have avoided that calamity, but I could not. I am sacrificed to satisfy feelings, and am used to gratify parties; but I am ready to die. I have no fear of death. It has no terrors for me; and no particle of mercy have I asked for from court or officials to spare my life. I do not fear death. I shall never go to a worse place than the one I am now in." (Postscript, John D. Lee)
16. "Let them shoot the balls through my heart; don't let them mangle my body." (Postscript, John D. Lee)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 25, 2022
An agonizing read for anyone who can relate to the betrayals Fanny endures. This is Stenhouse's second book; the first is shorter but they both cover much the same ground in terms of autobiographical information, although this one generally gives more details (for example, in the first book I was confused about what happened to the second Stenhouse wife and didn't understand what ended the engagement with the third; this one clears that up). This book also gives a lot more information about other Mormon marriages, and follows the trials and tribulations of, not just Fanny, but one of her dearest friends, called "Mary" in this book, as well as a third lady who embraces polygamy and does her level best to manage her husband (along with his other wives). These three ladies are all "first wives," and I think some of Fanny's speculations about subsequent wives and their motivations and sufferings are driven somewhat by hopes that things weren't as bad for her own daughter who married into a polygamous family.
As a non-Mormon I was intrigued at how many of the Mormon arguments have been used by abusive Christian husbands; apparently when men use religion to bully women there are a number of methods and ideas they naturally gravitate to.
As a non-Mormon I was intrigued at how many of the Mormon arguments have been used by abusive Christian husbands; apparently when men use religion to bully women there are a number of methods and ideas they naturally gravitate to.
August 31, 2019
This isn't the best book I ever read but I gave it five stars because it was something of a revelation to me. I have lived in Utah since 1980 and didn't know much about the early white settlers because I got all my history from Sunday School classes. Fanny seems pretty truthful to me. I do wonder if her account of the Mountain Meadows Massacre was accurate. It was pretty specific and I'm not sure who survived to provide the details.
September 6, 2023
An excruciating but essential read for all members of the LDS church. I hold great respect for this 19th century whistleblower who had the courage to leave an abusive institution.
Read
June 9, 2023I can't believe these immigrants survived their treks across the U.S. Extremely bleak. She really goes after Brigham Young, who seems terrible. The early community she describes is so depressing. Fascinating read.
March 6, 2019
Exactly as it is today in Mormonism!
Fanny has encapsulated over many chapters the exacting essence of the Latter Day faith,which I have investigated since 1976.After interviewing dozens of active,inactive and exMormons,my conclusions ring identical with hers when she wrote her book in 1873.
These include a 1945 dictum of an LDS.Sunday School Manual,1945,"when the prophet speaks the thinking has been done"!
Terrible havoc has been wrought in the lives of these precious and devoted people,by following in blind ignorance in belief that,the prophet will NEVER LEAD HIS PEOPLE ASTRAY!
HOWEVER,even these same prophets CANNOT foretell the next deadly tornado to befall a Midwestern city!
Doctrine and Covenants#132 has not been deleted from the Standard work of theirs,that, in essence, in reality,POLYGAMY STILL CONTINUES,under the private guise of Fundamentalist LDS.(see Warren Jeff's in Google if you doubt its present 21st century dangers),to where LDS.men visit in secret ,these various colonies in the intermountain west,or more specifically ,to yet be revitalized in the hereafter on a planet of their own,the exalted man who calls forth on the morning of the resuurrection,his wife by her secret name, given in their wedding in the temple,to be ETERNALLY PREGNANT starting again the nauseating cycle of bearing spirit children for the populating of ANOTHER PLANET OF THEIR OWN!(Elohim their/our god started all this earth s preexistant babies on a planet near the star Kolob).
You can see by my emphases that it rings a sad future in store for Mormon women...just as Mary Burton, Fanny s dear younger friend thought of suicide,which many have accomplished since ,ie.over the great pressures Mormon wives endure today to have the most babies possible,even after medical warnings of not having more of them.
Free agency does not fully exist in this faith full of many trials as Fanny describes,more than the freedom that Christ alone gives.See book by ex BYU.professor,Lynn Wilding,Unveiling Grace.
A very very touching book I greatly recommend,to know how it is still relevant today!
I hope both LDS.women and men reading it will transpose their own life experiences as Fanny and Mary endured.
Fanny has encapsulated over many chapters the exacting essence of the Latter Day faith,which I have investigated since 1976.After interviewing dozens of active,inactive and exMormons,my conclusions ring identical with hers when she wrote her book in 1873.
These include a 1945 dictum of an LDS.Sunday School Manual,1945,"when the prophet speaks the thinking has been done"!
Terrible havoc has been wrought in the lives of these precious and devoted people,by following in blind ignorance in belief that,the prophet will NEVER LEAD HIS PEOPLE ASTRAY!
HOWEVER,even these same prophets CANNOT foretell the next deadly tornado to befall a Midwestern city!
Doctrine and Covenants#132 has not been deleted from the Standard work of theirs,that, in essence, in reality,POLYGAMY STILL CONTINUES,under the private guise of Fundamentalist LDS.(see Warren Jeff's in Google if you doubt its present 21st century dangers),to where LDS.men visit in secret ,these various colonies in the intermountain west,or more specifically ,to yet be revitalized in the hereafter on a planet of their own,the exalted man who calls forth on the morning of the resuurrection,his wife by her secret name, given in their wedding in the temple,to be ETERNALLY PREGNANT starting again the nauseating cycle of bearing spirit children for the populating of ANOTHER PLANET OF THEIR OWN!(Elohim their/our god started all this earth s preexistant babies on a planet near the star Kolob).
You can see by my emphases that it rings a sad future in store for Mormon women...just as Mary Burton, Fanny s dear younger friend thought of suicide,which many have accomplished since ,ie.over the great pressures Mormon wives endure today to have the most babies possible,even after medical warnings of not having more of them.
Free agency does not fully exist in this faith full of many trials as Fanny describes,more than the freedom that Christ alone gives.See book by ex BYU.professor,Lynn Wilding,Unveiling Grace.
A very very touching book I greatly recommend,to know how it is still relevant today!
I hope both LDS.women and men reading it will transpose their own life experiences as Fanny and Mary endured.
August 23, 2019
A truthful testimony
Full disclosure: I was born and raised in the Mormon church. As a "strong-minded" young woman, I saw that I could never be happy continuing in the faith of my progenitors, many of whom were converts back in the mid-1850s and emigrated to Utah just as the author and her husband did. I could not believe in its claims of exclusive truth and left it behind.
Due to the advent of the internet, the LDS church is no longer able to hide the truth of its founding and of the dishonest practices of its founders. In fact, its members are told NOT to look into these matters since it "might" shake their faith. And well it might.
Mrs Stenhouse's book is far from my first exposure to the matters she relates. As I left Mormonism, I looked into currently available works on the founding and conduct of the early days of the church and saw great contradictions between what we were taught as members as what the historical facts actually reveal. Even the modern day church seeks to make converts and retain its members by "lying for the Lord" unashamedly and hiding the most difficult of its teachings until the individual is already committed. It pumps up its numbers in a similar as described in the book, including in the count people who have dropped or have died. The practice of baptism and marriage for the dead goes on today just as she described. The leadership is not transparent about its money dealings, just as Brigham did back in the day. The social pressures brought to bear upon those who question or choose to leave and their family members are psychologically similar (though not rising to the level of physical violence Mrs Stenhouse tells of).
I really appreciated this insider's memoir of her own personal experiences as a convert and immigrant, which make me more aware of my ancestors' fortitude (and gullibility). Luckily Mrs Stenhouse had a happier ending to her tale than many. I honor her memory for telling it so well.
Full disclosure: I was born and raised in the Mormon church. As a "strong-minded" young woman, I saw that I could never be happy continuing in the faith of my progenitors, many of whom were converts back in the mid-1850s and emigrated to Utah just as the author and her husband did. I could not believe in its claims of exclusive truth and left it behind.
Due to the advent of the internet, the LDS church is no longer able to hide the truth of its founding and of the dishonest practices of its founders. In fact, its members are told NOT to look into these matters since it "might" shake their faith. And well it might.
Mrs Stenhouse's book is far from my first exposure to the matters she relates. As I left Mormonism, I looked into currently available works on the founding and conduct of the early days of the church and saw great contradictions between what we were taught as members as what the historical facts actually reveal. Even the modern day church seeks to make converts and retain its members by "lying for the Lord" unashamedly and hiding the most difficult of its teachings until the individual is already committed. It pumps up its numbers in a similar as described in the book, including in the count people who have dropped or have died. The practice of baptism and marriage for the dead goes on today just as she described. The leadership is not transparent about its money dealings, just as Brigham did back in the day. The social pressures brought to bear upon those who question or choose to leave and their family members are psychologically similar (though not rising to the level of physical violence Mrs Stenhouse tells of).
I really appreciated this insider's memoir of her own personal experiences as a convert and immigrant, which make me more aware of my ancestors' fortitude (and gullibility). Luckily Mrs Stenhouse had a happier ending to her tale than many. I honor her memory for telling it so well.
January 19, 2019
One wife's experience with the 'benefits' of polygamy and 'celestial marriage'
This is an insightful and eye-opening account of one woman's experience as one of the first English Mormons and her unhappy experience with polygamy when she and her husband 'moved to Zion' (SLC) at the behest of the Mormon Elders. Since I grew up in WNY, I knew a little about Joseph Smith who struck me as a charlatan who took advantage of the 'religious awakenings' that swept Western & Central NY in the 1830s and beyond. However, my interest in the topic grew when I discovered that my wonderful late stepfather was born near Salt Lake City in 1917 to Mormon parents. His grandfather was persuaded by Joseph Smith himself to join the Mormon faith, and he abandoned his heartbroken first wife and children in upstate NY to join Brigham Young in Utah where he eventually became an early and important elder, a wealthy businessman and one of Utah's first U.S. senators. Although my stepfather adored his parents and siblings, his compassionate, sensitive, scientific nature was incompatible with the startling inconsistencies, cruelty and greed he observed in the Mormon 'leadership' where polygamy was officially banned but privately tolerated and women were generally treated worse than cattle. He converted to the Episcopal faith in his mid-teens and left for Seattle to pursue his aeronautical engineering degrees and became a star engineer at Bell Labs in Buffalo, NY where he helped develop the X-1 engine/rocket. Although he was so modest that he rarely discussed his personal accomplishments, his stories from childhood and his family's Mormon history fascinated me. Their long, deep ties with the Mormon faith, Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and their families and other founding members, plus the controversial Massacre shocked me and turned me into an unwitting collector of Mormon memoirs and history books.
This is one of the few first-hand memoirs that I've found that was written by a married woman who was an early settler in SLC's Mormon community. Her experiences with the Mormon community, polygamy and listening to/observing the unhappiness of her female friends and family members, provides an excellent perspective of what it was like to be a woman in an increasingly male-dominated faith that was run by Brigham Smith with an iron, corrupt, greedy, violent fist. Unlike many books of this period, the language isn't so flowery that it's a distraction, although most modern women will find the author's view of her limited value in the home and in the world startling relative to our own. (Thankfully, her common sense, courage and instinct for emotional self-preservation finally gave her the strength to leave.) Although the tales of women's suffering and deprivation are depressing and sometimes difficult to read, this worthwhile slice of history offers a glimpse of what it was like to live in a polygamous Mormon settlement from a rare female perspective.
This is an insightful and eye-opening account of one woman's experience as one of the first English Mormons and her unhappy experience with polygamy when she and her husband 'moved to Zion' (SLC) at the behest of the Mormon Elders. Since I grew up in WNY, I knew a little about Joseph Smith who struck me as a charlatan who took advantage of the 'religious awakenings' that swept Western & Central NY in the 1830s and beyond. However, my interest in the topic grew when I discovered that my wonderful late stepfather was born near Salt Lake City in 1917 to Mormon parents. His grandfather was persuaded by Joseph Smith himself to join the Mormon faith, and he abandoned his heartbroken first wife and children in upstate NY to join Brigham Young in Utah where he eventually became an early and important elder, a wealthy businessman and one of Utah's first U.S. senators. Although my stepfather adored his parents and siblings, his compassionate, sensitive, scientific nature was incompatible with the startling inconsistencies, cruelty and greed he observed in the Mormon 'leadership' where polygamy was officially banned but privately tolerated and women were generally treated worse than cattle. He converted to the Episcopal faith in his mid-teens and left for Seattle to pursue his aeronautical engineering degrees and became a star engineer at Bell Labs in Buffalo, NY where he helped develop the X-1 engine/rocket. Although he was so modest that he rarely discussed his personal accomplishments, his stories from childhood and his family's Mormon history fascinated me. Their long, deep ties with the Mormon faith, Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and their families and other founding members, plus the controversial Massacre shocked me and turned me into an unwitting collector of Mormon memoirs and history books.
This is one of the few first-hand memoirs that I've found that was written by a married woman who was an early settler in SLC's Mormon community. Her experiences with the Mormon community, polygamy and listening to/observing the unhappiness of her female friends and family members, provides an excellent perspective of what it was like to be a woman in an increasingly male-dominated faith that was run by Brigham Smith with an iron, corrupt, greedy, violent fist. Unlike many books of this period, the language isn't so flowery that it's a distraction, although most modern women will find the author's view of her limited value in the home and in the world startling relative to our own. (Thankfully, her common sense, courage and instinct for emotional self-preservation finally gave her the strength to leave.) Although the tales of women's suffering and deprivation are depressing and sometimes difficult to read, this worthwhile slice of history offers a glimpse of what it was like to live in a polygamous Mormon settlement from a rare female perspective.
May 6, 2025
It was good to meet Fanny Stenhouse. She shared so much of herself and the world she lived in. While she touched on The Reformation, Blood Atonement, The Handcart Tragedy, the Mountain Meadows Massacre, and the death of John D Lee–events that happened in her time, her personal story had to do with polygamy, what it's like to be the wife of a traveling missionary, and living under the tyrannical rule of President Young.
Fanny left her home on the island In the English Channel as a teenager to teach embroidery and English at a school In France. Later, she cared for two young girls in a family. After six years of being away from home, she returned to find that her family had left their island home and moved to Southampton. They also had forsaken their Baptist faith for Mormonism. Fanny was resistant to this change, but finally went down into the baptismal waters. The Mormonism that Fanny committed to was not the Mormonism of today.
The churches missionary work in England was a success. There were more Mormons living there than in all Utah Territory. Italy was a Catholic nation, and few, if any, really good Roman Catholics have ever joined the Saints. Consequently, her husband's missionary tour to that country was short and she soon had him back again. She eagerly showed him her five month old daughter, Clara.
When Fanny was shown an article in the Mormon Star which printed the revelation on polygamy, she threw it from her. Polygamy had been denied by every Apostle and missionary in England. When she read it, she had to wonder: "If they lied about this, what else could they have lied about?"
Fanny found herself conflicted between belief and disbelief but she endured, journeyed across the oceans across the prairie and allowed herself to be ensconced in the Great Basin of Utah.
I have read some of the reviews on Fanny and her story and people remark that she was carrying a grudge. I have also read many books about Brigham Young and the way he treated people. She was carrying a grudge, and she had every right to.
She must have been a very strong woman. She was very patient, went along when her husband was required to take a second wife, helped raise second wife's baby, and acted civil and responsible. She had interesting friends. Twenty years after her immersion, she and her husband left the church and became known as Apostates. They had to lose everything In the process.
They both wrote books on their experiences. The books, theirs and many others, inform us of what really went on in Utah in the mid-nineteenth century. It must have taken a great deal of courage. I feel thankful for these writers. Yes, it was a way to make a living and start again, but it also was a gift to the world. Now we, too, can know.
Fanny left her home on the island In the English Channel as a teenager to teach embroidery and English at a school In France. Later, she cared for two young girls in a family. After six years of being away from home, she returned to find that her family had left their island home and moved to Southampton. They also had forsaken their Baptist faith for Mormonism. Fanny was resistant to this change, but finally went down into the baptismal waters. The Mormonism that Fanny committed to was not the Mormonism of today.
The churches missionary work in England was a success. There were more Mormons living there than in all Utah Territory. Italy was a Catholic nation, and few, if any, really good Roman Catholics have ever joined the Saints. Consequently, her husband's missionary tour to that country was short and she soon had him back again. She eagerly showed him her five month old daughter, Clara.
When Fanny was shown an article in the Mormon Star which printed the revelation on polygamy, she threw it from her. Polygamy had been denied by every Apostle and missionary in England. When she read it, she had to wonder: "If they lied about this, what else could they have lied about?"
Fanny found herself conflicted between belief and disbelief but she endured, journeyed across the oceans across the prairie and allowed herself to be ensconced in the Great Basin of Utah.
I have read some of the reviews on Fanny and her story and people remark that she was carrying a grudge. I have also read many books about Brigham Young and the way he treated people. She was carrying a grudge, and she had every right to.
She must have been a very strong woman. She was very patient, went along when her husband was required to take a second wife, helped raise second wife's baby, and acted civil and responsible. She had interesting friends. Twenty years after her immersion, she and her husband left the church and became known as Apostates. They had to lose everything In the process.
They both wrote books on their experiences. The books, theirs and many others, inform us of what really went on in Utah in the mid-nineteenth century. It must have taken a great deal of courage. I feel thankful for these writers. Yes, it was a way to make a living and start again, but it also was a gift to the world. Now we, too, can know.
November 11, 2022
Heartbreaking
Fanny Stenhouse was born Christian in England. While she worked abroad as a young woman, her family converted to the Church of Latter-day Saints (Mormon). She breaks off her engagement to a Christian man to marry a church elder, and becomes a missionary wife. Though she finds it a hard life, she is buoyed by her husband's love and faithfulness, and does her best to scrape by and raise their family in his absence. Soon, though, there are rumors of Polygamy in the US branch of the religion, Aka Zion, aka the Utah territory. Many seek to dispel the rumors, but Fanny is uneasy because she knows in her heart she can't live under rule of plural marriage. Even as she helps convert women across Europe to their religion, she suffers crisis of faith because of the persistent Polygamy rumors. Still, she immigrates with her husband to the USA, where she is finally confronted with the truth of these rumors. Tell It All is the heartbreaking saga of Polygamy in 1800's Utah, and the irreparable damage it did to so many women and children.
This was such a hard story to read; the hardships put upon incoming settlers, both in their journey to Salt Lake City and under the rule of Polygamy was sickening to me. Fanny Stenhouse was relentless in her unveiling of all she witnessed and survived herself. She even describes her attempts to reconcile herself to the religion she chose, only to rebel again and again, knowing in her heart she'd been misled. She is detailed and methodical in presenting her case against plural marriage and against the corruptionshe discovered amongst the leaders of her time, and honest about the fate of so many who perished seemingly for naught. She shares shocking details of life under Mormon law. It's very well written, it's just a lot of devastating stories to take in. It truly hurt my heart.
Fanny Stenhouse was born Christian in England. While she worked abroad as a young woman, her family converted to the Church of Latter-day Saints (Mormon). She breaks off her engagement to a Christian man to marry a church elder, and becomes a missionary wife. Though she finds it a hard life, she is buoyed by her husband's love and faithfulness, and does her best to scrape by and raise their family in his absence. Soon, though, there are rumors of Polygamy in the US branch of the religion, Aka Zion, aka the Utah territory. Many seek to dispel the rumors, but Fanny is uneasy because she knows in her heart she can't live under rule of plural marriage. Even as she helps convert women across Europe to their religion, she suffers crisis of faith because of the persistent Polygamy rumors. Still, she immigrates with her husband to the USA, where she is finally confronted with the truth of these rumors. Tell It All is the heartbreaking saga of Polygamy in 1800's Utah, and the irreparable damage it did to so many women and children.
This was such a hard story to read; the hardships put upon incoming settlers, both in their journey to Salt Lake City and under the rule of Polygamy was sickening to me. Fanny Stenhouse was relentless in her unveiling of all she witnessed and survived herself. She even describes her attempts to reconcile herself to the religion she chose, only to rebel again and again, knowing in her heart she'd been misled. She is detailed and methodical in presenting her case against plural marriage and against the corruptionshe discovered amongst the leaders of her time, and honest about the fate of so many who perished seemingly for naught. She shares shocking details of life under Mormon law. It's very well written, it's just a lot of devastating stories to take in. It truly hurt my heart.
March 14, 2019
Well worth reading!!!!
Wow!!!! You would never know she lived in the mid 1800's. Her writing is concise, entertaining, impassioned and attention grabbing. It is her story of being married to a Mormon missionary in Europe (she was English) when Mormonism was a supposedly lovely and loving religion. Then the polygamy edict came in and they were ordered to the states and ultimately to Utah. She was not a fan of Brigham Young, to put it mildly, and they ultimately left the faith. This is her expose of the hypocrisy, cruelty, cheating, robbing, murdering, forcing people into polygamy, and selfishness by the leadership. Quite the story and very shocking at times. She told it from the intelligent woman's point of view and had many examples of her points because the women would tell her things they could not trust to tell anyone else. Women under polygamy were for the most part miserable unless you were briefly the new wife. Amazing tale. The author felt strongly enough about this hidden side of the Mormon religion as practiced then in Utah to give the other aspects not known.
Wow!!!! You would never know she lived in the mid 1800's. Her writing is concise, entertaining, impassioned and attention grabbing. It is her story of being married to a Mormon missionary in Europe (she was English) when Mormonism was a supposedly lovely and loving religion. Then the polygamy edict came in and they were ordered to the states and ultimately to Utah. She was not a fan of Brigham Young, to put it mildly, and they ultimately left the faith. This is her expose of the hypocrisy, cruelty, cheating, robbing, murdering, forcing people into polygamy, and selfishness by the leadership. Quite the story and very shocking at times. She told it from the intelligent woman's point of view and had many examples of her points because the women would tell her things they could not trust to tell anyone else. Women under polygamy were for the most part miserable unless you were briefly the new wife. Amazing tale. The author felt strongly enough about this hidden side of the Mormon religion as practiced then in Utah to give the other aspects not known.
March 4, 2022
Jean38no
The author has written a most enlighten book of polygamy in the early Mormon church. How it came to be. How it was carried on by the higher archy of the men of the church. How it was pushed on men who may have never subscribed to it ,if they weren’t pushed by their fellow saints. How they were told that their God expected it of them. She went into excruciating details ad nauseam on ,and on of the effects of polygamy on the wives of these husbands. Not that I did not feel for these women caught in this unholy environment. It just appeared the author had to relate the circumstances of at Least 50 or more wives life. Each a book within itself. The life of a woman was very hard in Mormonism as well as out of Mormonism. The life of many women are still very hard in 2022. Where alcoholism, abuse of every nature still exists. I do find one enlighten point in Mormonism. The wives could obtain a divorce for $10.00. I would recommend this book if you want to read over and over the same words in each tale of the different Women’s story. How terrible polygamy is for the wives.
The author has written a most enlighten book of polygamy in the early Mormon church. How it came to be. How it was carried on by the higher archy of the men of the church. How it was pushed on men who may have never subscribed to it ,if they weren’t pushed by their fellow saints. How they were told that their God expected it of them. She went into excruciating details ad nauseam on ,and on of the effects of polygamy on the wives of these husbands. Not that I did not feel for these women caught in this unholy environment. It just appeared the author had to relate the circumstances of at Least 50 or more wives life. Each a book within itself. The life of a woman was very hard in Mormonism as well as out of Mormonism. The life of many women are still very hard in 2022. Where alcoholism, abuse of every nature still exists. I do find one enlighten point in Mormonism. The wives could obtain a divorce for $10.00. I would recommend this book if you want to read over and over the same words in each tale of the different Women’s story. How terrible polygamy is for the wives.
March 20, 2021
Very detailed and most astounding account of the duping of the people by the Mormon church, the slavery of the polygamic wives, the tyranny of Brigham Young, the murderous oppression of apostates, the treacherous massacres of gentile migrants, etc. The psychology of the polygamic wives, especially the author's own, is portraited very vividly. Their physical, family and economic miseries seem unparalleled. This hell on earth makes me wonder how could human beings be so fanatic and obediently suffer all their lives till death? I regret but cannot help saying their stupidity is incomprehensible. The author herself, such an intelligent person in reasoning, writing such highly literary work, was however so weak in seeing through the lies, and let the fanaticism drag her life step-by-step into such a polygamic darkness for many years; was Mormonism really so powerful in conquering souls, and why?
January 16, 2024
Wow. She really tells it all. From the horrible blood atonement teachings, to polygamy, to Brigham Young's money dealings and her own experiences with him ripping her off in business and ruining her husband's, there is a lot in here. A faithful woman who tried her best to embrace Mormonism and the doctrine of polygamy and believed it to be true for fear of being damned. The stories of her friends who tried to accept polygamy are so heartbreaking. Even one friend who was the model woman for living polygamy, the brethren said if only all women could be like this sister.....she completely lost it when her husband picked a young beautiful wife and was clearly smitten by her. So many heartbreaking stories of women trying to be obedient so they can have their rightful place in the celestial kingdom. They were taught this was the only way. And if they complained to a sister wife they could not. Sister wives could tell the husband to gain his favor. It was a horrible system.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
September 9, 2025If you want to know about the truth about polygamy, Brigham Young, and his neglect regarding the pioneers who suffered and died when crossing the plains in the dead of winter, this is an excellent, truthful read. Stenhouse, a London native, was skeptical of the missionaries at first, but was touched by the stories of Joseph Smith and soon became a devout member, married a devout missionary and served with him to various locations in England. Although they barely had money for the two of them and their young baby to eat, they believed their faith would see them through. But this is just the beginning. Her family sacrificed everything to join the saints in America, and then makes the endless trek across the plains only to discover that polygamy was a live and real in Utah. Fanny didn't want any part it. Neither did her husband until ... well, you're just going to have to read the book. I promise you won't be able to put it down.
April 19, 2024
An expose on polygamy and early history of the Brigham Young period of the Mormons, as told by one who lived it. The author, Fanny Stenhouse, gives detailed descriptions of how polygamy (technically poligyny) affected both the men, and especially the women--both of whom believed that it was "Celestial law" a heavenly requirement, and with very different reactions to it depending upon the sexes involved. As a plural wife herself, Mrs. Stenhouse tells the tale from her point of view and her own observations, and one can hardly believe most others, though afraid to speak out, felt differently. I highly recommend this book to anyone, but especially to current members of the LDS faith who are not afraid to look at their history, and the characters in it, with a critical eye.
February 25, 2024
I'm on a streak of reading autobiographies by early Mormon women, so I couldn't help comparing this one to others. It's a lot more psychological: Fanny is concerned with showing how people get manipulated into going against their previous values, and she does so convincingly. Her inner journey to freedom is harrowing. I was also, as a gay Mormon, interested in her depictions of romantic friendships between women and how that butted up against her insistence on a woman's nature that can only be complemented and fulfilled by a man--and men's nature as so susceptible to fatal warping that it's hardly worth bothering with them.
November 14, 2024
Such a comprehensive account of a mormon woman's life in the time of Brigham Young's domination of the mormon church. and SHE is not the only one who experienced such indignities! Nor has she suffered the worst of the treatment of women in mormon history, which they want to deny happened much like the CRT movement regarding slavery. I find it unfathomable to understand how the mormons of today still believe in this so-called religion. They turn a blind eye to the atrocities perpetrated by this "religion" and support it fervently. It just blows my mind. Do a search and check out the "CES letter" for more revealing insights.
June 14, 2019
Interesting historically, but tedious reading
The author mostly laments her absolute hate and intolerance for the system of polygamy. She does give instances and observations of situations of polygamous living, but everything is greatly enhanced with personal feelings and abhorrence. In presenting information on polygamy, she goes into a great deal of the teachings and business practices of Brigham Young. Since the book was written on the 1800's, some of the drama is very likely due to the time period.
The author mostly laments her absolute hate and intolerance for the system of polygamy. She does give instances and observations of situations of polygamous living, but everything is greatly enhanced with personal feelings and abhorrence. In presenting information on polygamy, she goes into a great deal of the teachings and business practices of Brigham Young. Since the book was written on the 1800's, some of the drama is very likely due to the time period.
January 10, 2026
A biography that exposes the true cruelty and lies perpetrated on naive, trusting seekers of God by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, aka, Mormons. Missionaries to England and Europe purposely lied about the revelation of plural marriage invented by Cult Leader Joseph Smith. Missionaries concealed their wives in America, seduced young women, and brought them to America, only to reveal their first wives to the deceived converts who usually had no option to leave. Many died on the handcart and wagon trek to Utah.
February 2, 2019
A negative book.
I belong to the LDS church. I am glad I did not have to live the law of polygamy but I do believe the Lord had a purpose for it and it was taken advantage of by some people. The author is negative throughout the story and I felt she gave the impression she knew more than the leaders and especially her husband. It was a good read. The are many doctrines in the L D S church that are good and positive. She should have dwelled on some of them.
I belong to the LDS church. I am glad I did not have to live the law of polygamy but I do believe the Lord had a purpose for it and it was taken advantage of by some people. The author is negative throughout the story and I felt she gave the impression she knew more than the leaders and especially her husband. It was a good read. The are many doctrines in the L D S church that are good and positive. She should have dwelled on some of them.
August 10, 2019
Mormons and Christianity
I read this book to learn more of the Mormon people. When I was a teenager I wanted to be a Mormon but my mother forbade it. As a young adult I learned that salvation is not a work but a gift. Jesus died on the cross to take my punishment for my sins. Mine and the Mormons, Baptists, Amish, Unitarian, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Muslim...and all people. Salvation and forgiveness is a gift not a work.
I read this book to learn more of the Mormon people. When I was a teenager I wanted to be a Mormon but my mother forbade it. As a young adult I learned that salvation is not a work but a gift. Jesus died on the cross to take my punishment for my sins. Mine and the Mormons, Baptists, Amish, Unitarian, Jew, Catholic, Hindu, Muslim...and all people. Salvation and forgiveness is a gift not a work.
August 27, 2019
This was written by an intelligent woman who lived under Brigham Young and polygamy in the Salt Lake City area. The book would be of interest to Mormans and those learning of their history. It is emotional and redundant at times, but contains facts of interest as well as anecdotes. It contradicts what I was told was the main reason for polygamy, that there were many widows left after Morman men were killed and that these women were made second wives so they would be protected, fed, etc.
September 30, 2019
I found this book to be very interesting considering it was a first person account of her experiences in Mormonism and polygamy in the 1860s and 1870s. She personally knew Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. I believe she was very credible, though quite wordy which made the book a long read for a slow poke like me. I don't want to give much away as it had me hanging in to the end. I would
recommend this book.
recommend this book.
Want to read
March 27, 2020This book confirms to me that this “religion” is a cult. Brigham Young was illiterate but he understood this fact. “He who has all the money and power gets to make up the rules and be the puppeteer “. There is a lot of redundancy and the author is clearly not a writer. However, she makes her point. She was a brave woman. This is a book I picked up out of curiosity. I’m glad I did. It was an emotional tough read and I had to take breaks.
May 26, 2020
She doesn't get around to describing her life in polygamy until ~450 pages in and then it ultimately amounts to "this is super lame and I hate it."
Despite not quite living up to the title, I did find it to be very informative on the early days of the Mormon church; it's truly baffling how it ever caught on. Even as I read it I couldn't understand why despite all of her misgivings she still continued in the "church".
Despite not quite living up to the title, I did find it to be very informative on the early days of the Mormon church; it's truly baffling how it ever caught on. Even as I read it I couldn't understand why despite all of her misgivings she still continued in the "church".
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