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The Connected Parent: An Expert Guide to Parenting in a Digital World
An essential guide for parents navigating the new frontier of hyper-connected kids.
Today's teenagers spend about nine hours per day online. Parents of this ultra-connected generation struggle with decisions completely new to Should an eight-year-old be allowed to go on social media? How can parents help their children gain the most from the best aspects of the digital age? How can we keep kids safe from digital harm? John Palfrey and Urs Gasser bring together over a decade of research at Harvard to tackle parents' most urgent concerns. The Connected Parent is required reading for anyone trying to help their kids flourish in the fast-changing, uncharted territory of the digital age.
Today's teenagers spend about nine hours per day online. Parents of this ultra-connected generation struggle with decisions completely new to Should an eight-year-old be allowed to go on social media? How can parents help their children gain the most from the best aspects of the digital age? How can we keep kids safe from digital harm? John Palfrey and Urs Gasser bring together over a decade of research at Harvard to tackle parents' most urgent concerns. The Connected Parent is required reading for anyone trying to help their kids flourish in the fast-changing, uncharted territory of the digital age.
304 pages, Hardcover
Published October 6, 2020
14 people are currently reading
1105 people want to read
About the author
John Palfrey
34 books25 followersJohn Palfrey is President of the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation. Before that, he was Head of the Phillips Andover Academy and a Professor at Havard Law School. He is coauthor of Born Digital: How Children Grow Up in a Digital Age, and author of the MIT Press Essential Knowledge volume Intellectual Property Strategy.
See also: John Gorham Palfrey
See also: John Gorham Palfrey
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
September 25, 2020
I received an advance reader copy of this book to read in exchange for an honest review via netgalley and the publishers.
The connected parent is a book compiled by two experts within the cyber tech field and is a helpful guide for parents to help keep them abreast of the current generation of tech savvy kids and features ways in how to do this.
This book goes with a 'connected parent' approach and helps show parents ways to stay connected with their kids and the current technology to help keep them safe and secure.
The back of the book features information for parents to research further and help them further too.
The connected parent is a book compiled by two experts within the cyber tech field and is a helpful guide for parents to help keep them abreast of the current generation of tech savvy kids and features ways in how to do this.
This book goes with a 'connected parent' approach and helps show parents ways to stay connected with their kids and the current technology to help keep them safe and secure.
The back of the book features information for parents to research further and help them further too.
September 22, 2020
I won this book from the publisher from a Goodreads giveaway. This book was written by two esteemed professors in the field of cyberspace research, the former faculty director and current executive director of the Berkman Klein Center for Internet and Society at Harvard University, whose main mission is "to tackle the biggest challenges presented by the Internet". I was pleased to see that John Palfrey has written several other books, including "BiblioTech: Why Libraries Matter More Than Ever in the Age of Google", which I am eager to pick up next. Urs Gasser has also co-written several books according to Goodreads. In 2008, he and Palfrey co-published "Born Digital: Understanding the First Generation of Digital Natives".
The book's premise / philosophy is that parents should consider approaching digital issues in a positive way, what they call the "connected parenting" approach. Palfrey and Gasser argue that while the connected parent doesn't have to be an expert, they should "roll up [their] sleeves and stay abreast of the technology." I found helpful the argument that while it is fine to accept that your children may certainly know more about the technology, staying engaged with social media enough will help parents stay "credible" in conversation with their children on the issues.
Each chapter featured a sub section with recommendations for how to take the "connected parenting" approach to different topics such as privacy, screen time and safety. Sub sections in each chapter also included "What the Research Shows," which features a boiled down, easy-to-digest explanation of several studies from around the world, "Our Recommendations", which had more detailed advice for boundary setting and more broken down by ages, and "Common Questions" - some of my favorites were "At what age should a young person get a smart phone?"
I particularly liked some of the advice mentioned in the chapter on Anxiety, including "remember that your child's anxiety - at least in part - may have to do with issues connected to you as a parent" (pg. 124).
The book was written in a easy-to-follow and digest writing style. One of my favorite things about the book was the 19 pages of further reading and the End Notes (so that you can follow the research yourself). I recommend parring this book with at least a couple books from experts in other fields that study and write on this topic such as child psychologists, counselors, therapists, or other mental health practitioners.
The book's premise / philosophy is that parents should consider approaching digital issues in a positive way, what they call the "connected parenting" approach. Palfrey and Gasser argue that while the connected parent doesn't have to be an expert, they should "roll up [their] sleeves and stay abreast of the technology." I found helpful the argument that while it is fine to accept that your children may certainly know more about the technology, staying engaged with social media enough will help parents stay "credible" in conversation with their children on the issues.
Each chapter featured a sub section with recommendations for how to take the "connected parenting" approach to different topics such as privacy, screen time and safety. Sub sections in each chapter also included "What the Research Shows," which features a boiled down, easy-to-digest explanation of several studies from around the world, "Our Recommendations", which had more detailed advice for boundary setting and more broken down by ages, and "Common Questions" - some of my favorites were "At what age should a young person get a smart phone?"
I particularly liked some of the advice mentioned in the chapter on Anxiety, including "remember that your child's anxiety - at least in part - may have to do with issues connected to you as a parent" (pg. 124).
The book was written in a easy-to-follow and digest writing style. One of my favorite things about the book was the 19 pages of further reading and the End Notes (so that you can follow the research yourself). I recommend parring this book with at least a couple books from experts in other fields that study and write on this topic such as child psychologists, counselors, therapists, or other mental health practitioners.
December 11, 2020
This is a wonderful resource for parents trying to navigate all of the technological changes for children from very young ages through tweens and high school age that have come with the ultra-digital age. Concerns such as screen time to online privacy are addressed based on over a decade of the authors’ ground-breaking research. Additionally, chapter discussions involve social life, safety, anxiety, addiction, gaming, diversity and learning. Encouragement is given to providing the children in your life a balance of all these factors as they become the ultra-connected generation. Traditional learning modes are also explored and encouraged as an enhancement to skills that young people learn in digital environments, preparing them for adulthood in the digital economy and workforce.
May 10, 2023
Excellent, perhaps best, in the genre. If you read just one book on this topic, this is the one to pick. Although it came out in 2020, it can feel a bit behind the updated research and trends. I suppose that is the downside of writing a book on these topics!
January 27, 2023
This is a solid book. I'd give it 3.5 stars. This is a laundry list of take aways
• optimal screen time, the Goldilocks principle. Not too much not too little.
• 81% if teens are online through mobile phones
• the way teens use their time on screens is more important than how much time they spend on screens.
• how much time do you spend on social media and gaming versus doing something productive on your phone?
• do you find emotional support through your phone or does it create anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed?
• time limits online that are across the board, rather than punitive, meaning everyone in the family is restricted from phones at dinner, etc.
• importance of striking a balance. There is no one-size-fits-all rule for screen time and what is appropriate.
• set standards and explain reasons for children. Giving children the opportunity to make judgments on their own.
• research suggests children actually want us to set boundaries on screen time and what they do in their lives.
• how much time should our children spend online?
• 12 year old - 2 hours a day. Quality time. What are you doing?
• 13 -15 - less than 4 hours a day.
• 16 up - mute difficult to set a time limit, rather tech principles and let them govern themselves.
• phones are shut off half hour before bedtime.
• time with our phones out of our hands.
• chatting with friends can cheer them up or they can feel left out. Find out what's happening for your teen.
• better understand their digital environment and the benefits that present themselves to my children. Also better understand the negatives they experience.
• teens cannot multitask when doing homework. They can switch take rapidly, but that is an ineffective learning strategy. Listening to music could be a good thing. Checking text messages or other distractions are actually hurting their intellectual development. Give them a test where they switch ingrained tasks where they are timed, then talk about the influence switching tasks is having on their productivity during homework.
• get involved in the different social media and apps your kids are using. Ask for their recommendations. Participate in things online with them. Play games they like to play, all of course if they will let you.
• have phone free time where there's no phone or earbuds in their hands or in their ears. We have to follow along with that and do it too.
• get more involved in activism with your children. What are the things we feel they should be doing socially to serve and bless other's lives.
• do something to encourage voting.
• do something to use your training intellectually to help them. Give them small reading assignments on topics of importance that me so I can teach them about that topic and then discuss it with them.
• become a connected parent. What are the social media apps they use? What are the websites they go to? How could you I include their online World in family discussion and learning?
• optimal screen time, the Goldilocks principle. Not too much not too little.
• 81% if teens are online through mobile phones
• the way teens use their time on screens is more important than how much time they spend on screens.
• how much time do you spend on social media and gaming versus doing something productive on your phone?
• do you find emotional support through your phone or does it create anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed?
• time limits online that are across the board, rather than punitive, meaning everyone in the family is restricted from phones at dinner, etc.
• importance of striking a balance. There is no one-size-fits-all rule for screen time and what is appropriate.
• set standards and explain reasons for children. Giving children the opportunity to make judgments on their own.
• research suggests children actually want us to set boundaries on screen time and what they do in their lives.
• how much time should our children spend online?
• 12 year old - 2 hours a day. Quality time. What are you doing?
• 13 -15 - less than 4 hours a day.
• 16 up - mute difficult to set a time limit, rather tech principles and let them govern themselves.
• phones are shut off half hour before bedtime.
• time with our phones out of our hands.
• chatting with friends can cheer them up or they can feel left out. Find out what's happening for your teen.
• better understand their digital environment and the benefits that present themselves to my children. Also better understand the negatives they experience.
• teens cannot multitask when doing homework. They can switch take rapidly, but that is an ineffective learning strategy. Listening to music could be a good thing. Checking text messages or other distractions are actually hurting their intellectual development. Give them a test where they switch ingrained tasks where they are timed, then talk about the influence switching tasks is having on their productivity during homework.
• get involved in the different social media and apps your kids are using. Ask for their recommendations. Participate in things online with them. Play games they like to play, all of course if they will let you.
• have phone free time where there's no phone or earbuds in their hands or in their ears. We have to follow along with that and do it too.
• get more involved in activism with your children. What are the things we feel they should be doing socially to serve and bless other's lives.
• do something to encourage voting.
• do something to use your training intellectually to help them. Give them small reading assignments on topics of importance that me so I can teach them about that topic and then discuss it with them.
• become a connected parent. What are the social media apps they use? What are the websites they go to? How could you I include their online World in family discussion and learning?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 6, 2020
If your kids are anything like mine, they love their devices. My 6 year old is addicted to Minecraft and Roblox on her iPad and my 10 Year old also plays Roblox and messages friends on her iPad Touch (that she saved up for herself). If you are like me we share the same concern about the future of devices and especially social media on their mental health.
This book combines many years of study and practical knowledge to deliver information to the parents so they can make the best decisions for their children. It hits on topics from screentime, social life, privacy, social media, anxiety and pressure from friends. It gives you real life examples of the harm of posting without thinking can inflict. I especially liked the focus on internet safety and cyberbullying, a big fear of mine.
I highly recommend this book to parents who are looking to navigate this digital world in a healthy way for their children.
This book combines many years of study and practical knowledge to deliver information to the parents so they can make the best decisions for their children. It hits on topics from screentime, social life, privacy, social media, anxiety and pressure from friends. It gives you real life examples of the harm of posting without thinking can inflict. I especially liked the focus on internet safety and cyberbullying, a big fear of mine.
I highly recommend this book to parents who are looking to navigate this digital world in a healthy way for their children.
March 6, 2022
A very good book written by two experts in the field containing practical suggestions to help parents navigate today's digital world and the sway it has over children, ranging from those in elementary school to late teens. Rather than categorizing certain technologies or social media platforms as either good or bad, the authors have taken a nuanced approach and tried to present both sides of the aruguments based on current research. It helps that the authors' themselves are parents to two teenagers each and the book presents specific situations in which today's technologies played an important part in their children's lives.
In a small subset of the cases, the conclusion drawn based on the reserach seems questionable but that is not entirely unexpected given that there is no single right answer in a majority of the cases. Credit to the authors for having anticipated this. Overall a very good and useful book that parents can refer to multiple times.
In a small subset of the cases, the conclusion drawn based on the reserach seems questionable but that is not entirely unexpected given that there is no single right answer in a majority of the cases. Credit to the authors for having anticipated this. Overall a very good and useful book that parents can refer to multiple times.
August 23, 2021
Took me a while to get down to finishing this book but it was a great one.
The authors covered a good range of topics from social life, privacy to anxiety and engaging the world beyond home.
I've learnt something from the authors that studies have shown that there's actually no link between too much screen time and lack of social life. Interesting to know that young people socialise through digital means and it's perfectly normal to do so.
I've also learnt that to tackle the issues parents worry about, there needs to be a good communication between parents and children. There's always a need to talk through any issues either one might be concerned about.
Overall a great read. Highly recommended for all parents!
The authors covered a good range of topics from social life, privacy to anxiety and engaging the world beyond home.
I've learnt something from the authors that studies have shown that there's actually no link between too much screen time and lack of social life. Interesting to know that young people socialise through digital means and it's perfectly normal to do so.
I've also learnt that to tackle the issues parents worry about, there needs to be a good communication between parents and children. There's always a need to talk through any issues either one might be concerned about.
Overall a great read. Highly recommended for all parents!
January 21, 2022
Muy gustó mucho, quizás sobre todo el tono general del texto. Por lo general, este tipo de libro es o bien relato del horror del efecto de las nuevas tecnologías en los jóvenes actuales o, por el contrario, defensas apasionadas de la tecnología que no tienen los pies en el suelo. Este libro no tiene miedo de alabar a las nuevas tecnologías, pero tampoco echa la vista a un lado cuando se trata de los posibles efectos negativos en aprendizaje o desarrollo de la juventud actual.
Muy recomendable para profes y, duh, padres :)
Muy recomendable para profes y, duh, padres :)
September 7, 2023
I really appreciated this book in that it was practical, but no prescriptive with a lot of emphasis on relationship and communication with your children.
Their cautious, but not over-reactive approach to new technology was refreshing.
I’ve read one other book on parenting and technology and it was the total opposite - so prescriptive and approached everything from a place of fear - so this was refreshing.
I was encouraged by their statement at the end that as parents, we won’t get everything right, but we can keep trying and keep communicating and it’ll be alright.
Printed book.
Their cautious, but not over-reactive approach to new technology was refreshing.
I’ve read one other book on parenting and technology and it was the total opposite - so prescriptive and approached everything from a place of fear - so this was refreshing.
I was encouraged by their statement at the end that as parents, we won’t get everything right, but we can keep trying and keep communicating and it’ll be alright.
Printed book.
January 11, 2021
Interesting and relevant (post-pandemic) book from world class experts. It wasn't just about screen time and privacy but covered diversity, community engagement, relationships and more.
July 28, 2022
It is a nice book giving a balanced view based on recent research on the subject.
January 14, 2023
Helpful and balanced view of how to raise kids with technology.
July 21, 2021
Excellent!!
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews