Act Like You're Having a Good Time: Essays

by Michele Weldon

Winner, 2021 Gilda Women's Book Award

In this honest and tender collection of essays, award-winning memoirist Michele Weldon asks what it means to be a mature woman seeking a life of purpose and meaning through work, family, and relationships. Facing ageism and invisibility within popular culture, Weldon examines the effects of raising children, striving for applause, failing expectations, forming new friendships, reconciling lost dreams, and restoring one’s faith. With sincerity and humor, she unwraps family traditions, painting classes, lap swimming, dress codes, and career disappointments. She addresses white privilege and her evolving understanding of racism. And she asks crucial questions about mortality, finding connection in writing and stories.

Frank, eloquent, and daring, Weldon dissects the intricacies of life, journeying toward self-discovery as a mother, daughter, sister, and friend. Readers of any age or gender will recognize the universal experience of learning to accept oneself and asking essential questions—even if there are no easy answers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Essays, Biography Memoir

168 pages, Paperback

First published September 15, 2020

About the author

I am emerita faculty in journalism at the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University where I taught for 18 years. I am a senior leader with The OpEd Project since 2011, editorial director at Take The Lead since 2016 and author of six nonfiction books: I Closed My Eyes (Hazelden, 1999), Writing to Save Your Life (Hazelden, 2001); Everyman News: The Changing American Front Page (University of Missouri, 2008); Just Me And My Three Sons (SheBooks, 2011); Escape Points: A Memoir (Chicago Review Press, 2015); Act Like You're Having A Good Time (Northwestern University Press, 2020). I live in the Chicago area, have three grown sons and have recently started to paint again. Writing is my first love.

Reviews

[Laura Tenfingers · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF @33%

This was boring and seemed pointless to me. The style and topics are very conservative and vanilla with nothing to say, that I could find.

For example, the first essay: I live in this house, raised my sons, had good times, bad times, I'm privileged but not super privileged, some day I'll have to throw out stuff and sell it.

I'm not really clear on what the point is and what there might be here for me to latch on to.

Maybe I'm too non-conventional and too young.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced reader's copy, in exchange for an honest review.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

You can read all of my reviews at Nerd Girl Loves Books.

This was an interesting collection of essays about things a "woman of a certain age" has to deal with every day. Often discarded by society and invisible to anyone over 25, women over 50 are often times lumped together as "old ladies" that are irrelevant and who can no longer contribute to society. Being one of these "old ladies", I found a lot of truths in several of the author's essays, whether I want to admit it or not.

The essays about reconciling lost dreams and forming new friendships particularly resonated with me. Like it or not, I have to admit to myself that I am no longer able to stand in Times Square for 10 hours on New Years Eve waiting to ring in the new year, kiss complete strangers, and watch the ball drop. That dream must die, along with bungee jumping off a bridge, skydiving out of a plane, and many others that past me by with the passing of my youth.

Having relationships with women of various ages is also a must. It helps you keep perspective and keeps you current. It's also important to have varying levels of friendships. Some friends you go to concerts with. Others are your work BFFs. Still others share in your triumphs and defeats. All are necessary.

I don't read many books like this, but I really enjoyed this one and recommend you read it.

Thank you to NetGalley and Northwester University Press for giving me a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Marian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Michele Weldon's collection of essays is like sitting down with an old friend over coffee or a glass of wine talking candidly about life since "there is more behind than ahead." At 61, Weldon is just a few years younger than me, so her essays on her growing-up years definitely resonated with me from having to dress up when traveling (we even had to when we went grocery shopping with our mom), owning a disco wardrobe, to knowing that acting accordingly was always the best way to approach life.

While her father's mantra was "act like you're having a good time," our mother's was "be graceful even if it kills you," so I can totally relate to so much of what is in this book. The essays are short and insightful dealing not only with growing up, but aging and life in general -- the worries that never seem to leave us as well as the importance in knowing that what we do in this life (and have done) matters.

Weldon indicates that she wrote this book to find clarity in her life hoping that her readership will find it, too.
I know that I found myself nodding quite a bit throughout the book. And as a contemporary, I would imagine that I'm definitely in the sphere of her target audience.

I like Michele Weldon's writing style and know that I will be reading more of her books.

Thank you to NetGalley and Northwestern University Press for this ARC (Advance Reader's Copy) in exchange for my honest review. #ActLikeYoureHavingaGoodTime #NetGalley

[Arlene Mal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great! I loved it. Michele Weldon's new book of essays is poignant, thoughtful and full of laugh out loud moments. This book took me on journeys that were both familiar and unexpected. Weldon is such a smart writer. Her prose crisp and clean. I love this collection because each essay can be digested in a short amount of time. They can be read in succession or by jumping around. I was always engaged and rooted for her through the difficulties and triumphs. The stories of her boys, her family and finding her place in the world all rang strong and true. That is a hallmark of her other work too. I was happy to see that she had written another book. I loved "And Then I closed My Eyes," "Escape Points" and the book on writing. "Act Like You're Having Good Time is" the kind of book of essays that I will go back to and reread. AND the cover? That is simply fantastic!

[Andrea Pole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Act Like You're Having a Good Time by Michele Weldon is a thoughtful collection of essays in which the author ponders the difficulty of finding one's purpose, particularly as we age. The title is taken from the life advice that was doled out by her father to herself and her siblings as they were growing up, and Ms Weldon reflects on the wisdom of that advice as she faces ageism, career challenges, and her struggle to keep faith. These essays come from a deeply personal place, and the musings within are the culmination of a lifetime of seeking the positive in facing life's many tests. Readers will find these essays relatable, nostalgic, and wise.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Northwestern University Press for this ARC.

[Donna Boyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Act Like You're Having a Good Time by Michele Weldon
Thank you to #NetGalley, the publisher and Michele Weldon for providing me with a digital copy of this book prior to publication in exchange for my honest review. Act Like You're Having a Good Time is a wonderful collection of essays about issues women deal with as they go through life. The title is taken from advice she and her five siblings received from her father growing up. If they complained or fought with each other or were miserable for whatever reason, his advice was always the same, "act like you're having a good time". Weldon interprets this to mean that you should live your life positively and be happy with yourself and your life. I loved each essay in this book and her story of the cooler of food that her mother packed so she could fix meals in their hotel room during vacations took me right back to my childhood when my mother would do the same thing. In Dress Code when she describes an encounter with a salesperson who told her not to buy a dress because of her age and then later deciding that she could wear what she wants to regardless of what other people think strikes home as well. Her philosophy on life is summed up in a note inside a card she receives from a friend that says "My barn's burnt down, now I can see the sky." This book is one of my top ten for 2020. Buy a copy for yourself and buy a copy for your best friend.

[Alicia R · Rating 4 out of 5]

Act Like You're Having a Good Time by Michele Weldon is a collection of personal essays about becoming older (the author talks about being in her early 60's), family, friendships, privilege, faith, and many other things. While reading this book, I enjoyed the personal stories that the author shared about growing up, and her relationship with her parents. Many of the stories had humor (the cottage cheese spill at the hotel had me laughing out loud!) and were lighthearted, however, I still wished that the book overall had a more positive feeling, or a feeling of hope. There were also some good "lessons" that the author learned that readers can benefit from, as well as advice for readers.

[Lolly K Dandeneau · Rating 4 out of 5]

𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 “𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭”- 𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬. “𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝”, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

“Act like you’re having a good time” is the sage advice Michele Weldon’s father gave and modeled to Michele and her siblings, advice that has carried Weldon through sixty plus years and counting. You have to show up in life so you may as well enjoy as much of it as you can, because who wants to be around miserable people? Happiness is always in our own hands- at least in the way we react to what fate serves us. Michele writes about her identity and appreciates the privilege she has had, despite any obstacles she has faced, including a difficult marriage, the trials of single motherhood while trying to have a career and the harsh realities of having breast cancer. Mother, wife, friend, daughter, mentor, journalist, author, and emerita faculty at at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism, Weldon has a lot to reflect on and does so in these tenderly honest essays.

Ambitions and dreams that change as she faces her more mature years, the amount of time left to achieve them is the reality we will all face, if we are lucky. There is a point when a person takes stock of where they have been as well as who; how they have affected people in their life, where they have failed, what has been learned and what there is left to do. It’s not always pretty looking back and it can be scary looking forward. Waiting outside the door of the self is the larger world and what it means to be a woman in it. How beauty is measured, ageism, antiquated ideas, gender, race, class, ethnicity, attempts at fitting into the ever changing landscape, navigating technology that seems to move at the speed of light… it can feel like an uphill battle. Yes, even women of a certain age can feel the pain of comparison to an ideal beauty that is always shining on youth. More so when actresses in their age bracket don’t seem age. It is here, in her third act of life, that she shares what she has learned and what is still missing. All of this in the midst of the disruption COVID-19 has forced on the world.

It is not easy to reshape oneself, but in order to survive, we must. More so as we shed decades of experience, have to alter our thinking and embrace new ways of being. The world right now can leave you disoriented, that is true for the majority of us and it requires clarity to plant yourself where you need to be. Easier said than done. Michele certainly shares her failings with painful honesty, where finding a sunny disposition seemed of her reach. We are human, after-all.

Weldon understands what parents go through and the necessity of constant motion, as she raised sons, how it doesn’t leave much time for ‘pausing’, reflection. It is hard to keep ‘having a good time’ when you are running on fumes, with three boys and a career she certainly faced exhausting days. In these essays, she talks about the many phases of her life, the vulnerability and how it feels now to be arriving in a place where she is often left feeling “unseen”, inconsequential. How aging has changed from her grandmothers day to present time and where she lands in that disparity. Do you attempt being fashionable or let yourself go? Is there anything in between?

The hunger for affirmation has been present throughout her life, and isn’t it what most people have for a career goal, to achieve recognition or at least feel they’ve left their mark, made an impact somewhere before they retire? How much must one accomplish to feel right with themselves?

Michele Weldon examines her past to understand her present and plan for the future, because despite their being more behind her than ahead of her there is still so much living to do. I don’t think you have to be sixty to understand what it means to measure your worth, reflect on your choices, and try to navigate this madly spinning world. None of us age backwards, we’re all moving forward in phases, and wisdom of experience is never a thing to scoff at. At some point we all face similar questions. Yes, read it and I have to give a nod to the adorable book cover!

Publication Date: September 15, 2020

Northwestern University Press

[SadieReadsAgain · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a collection of personal essays reflecting on life at 61. Weldon covers so many topics, from single parenthood, cancer, the invisibility of women as we get to a certain age, the importance of friendship and the accumulation of things during a life. But a big theme is reflecting on where she thought she would be or the dreams she has not actualised by this point in her life. It's very much a look at the passing of time, and being aware that there is less road to travel ahead than that which has already been covered. And that may sound quite melancholic, but I found this quite a comforting and positive read.

Weldon will often admit that she is aware of her privilege, that despite hardships she has been able to create a comfortable life. But what struck me when I was reading, is how she does not see herself as the accomplished woman that she truly is. She has been more successful than many of us could ever dream of, and yet the goals and dreams that she did not achieve weigh heavy on her. I think this is a lesson for us all, that none are immune to comparing ourselves to others and that the message of not being "enough" is felt so deeply even by someone who seems to have it all. Something we all need to work on!

Being in my mid-thirties, I've found myself shifting in my reading choices. I'm keen to incorporate the voices of experience and wisdom of the women who are paving the way before me. I am not particularly scared of aging in and of itself, but I am keen to age the best way I can. And I don't mean slathering myself in magic-pill face creams. I mean by seeing the joy that is to come, and gathering advice on how to handle the not-so-joyous moments. Voices like Weldon's are like beacons to me. She has such a personable and honest way about her writing, but still retains that journalistic clarity. The result is poignancy and a way with words that resonates, but with a wit and oversight that makes you feel as if you're in safe hands.


I was gifted a NetGalley of this title by Northwestern University Press in return for a review. All opinions are my own.

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Weldon's intro declares that she wishes her journey to parallel the reader "and in this space you may also see yourself or someone you love, and it may be helpful. A little....And grace will arrive. Often it does." It did for this reader.

With a bit of humor, Weldon explains that she doesn't have time or money to explore who she is abroad. She has bills and deadlines. "I would overpack." She keeps her landline, "because I do not know how I would find my cell phone without it." "I am new to being old; at times it feels like I am wearing someone else's clothes in the wrong size."

Lovely, experienced writing throughout: She describes, "this complicated old friend of a house... I plan to leave this house, this marvelous, magnificent house...It is time. Nothing dramatic has happened. This house full of laughter and love. This house full of sobbing and shouting and indelible hurt...this place that holds in its red bricks and plaster the disappointments and the smiles. This address that sheltered us with security and warmth." I know. It resonated with me as I remember my mom and dad, the house I grew up in.

Unlike some 'older' authors, Weldon does not whine. "I am not averse to getting older, I am surprised by it." She is not age-defying or ageless, as the cosmetics industry demands; "I am age-authentic." Love this. Speak up age-authentic women of the world! Weldon refuses to accept the 'old lady dress code.'

Weldom addresses the issue of white privilege, declaring that it is up to her to learn more, know more, do more, be more, ask more. "It's not enough to be a bystander." "How spoiled I am to complain that this house I own needs attention."

Weldon shares wisdom tidbits as if talking to a friend. "We can have all of it, yes, but not all at once." "For me, happiness is the joy we feel striving after our potential" ...and reading a delightful book and relatable book.

[Arlene Malinowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, I loved it. Michele Weldon's new book of essays is poignant, thoughtful and full of laugh out loud moments. This book took me on journeys that were both familiar and unexpected. Weldon is such a smart writer. Her prose crisp and clean. I love this collection because each essay can be digested in a short amount of time. They can be read in succession or by jumping around. I was always engaged and rooted for her through the difficulties and triumphs. The stories of her boys, her family and finding her place in the world all rang strong and true. That is a hallmark of her other work too. I was happy to see that she had written another book. I loved "And Then I closed My Eyes," "Escape Points" and the book on writing. "Act Like You're Having Good Time is" the kind of book of essays that I will go back to and reread. AND the cover? That is simply fantastic!

[Angela Watt · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's refreshing to read something written by a woman of a certain age when you happen to be a woman of a certain age yourself. Michele Weldon's book of essays, 'Act Like You're Having a Good Time' are poignant and realistic as well as making you laugh out loud at times.

I enjoyed the author's honesty and her reflections on where she is in her life now and how she got there and there was much to empathise with. I particularly enjoyed her discussion around art classes, swimming and what she wore to a friend's wedding.

This is not only an enjoyable read but also a thought-provoking one.

[Diane Frisch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly worthwhile read

I truly enjoyed Michele's latest. The book reads easily and I so appreciated Michele's courage to address and deal with her fears and perceived inadequacies. I could relate to her childhood memories which triggered my own childhood thoughts. The book made me laugh and reflect on my own life and the roles our family has played in molding who we are. Thanks, Michele for the ride.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this read very much like a journal, a collection of thoughts that did not seem to have much meaning overall. I do not know what this book was supposed to be about or what the author was ultimately trying to convey. She seems overly apologetic or worried that she will be seen as privileged, which of course it does sound like she was at one point in her life. The privileged theme ran throughout the book; maybe this was the point of the book? I became bored with this.

[Susy Schultz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful and evocative, Michele Weldon's essays make you laugh and cry — making her a gifted and talented writer. Her honesty breaks your heart and makes you think. This was my book gift this holiday season to all my book lovers. I know I will read it over and over again and be delighted each time.

[Cristie Underwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun and very honest look into the author's experiences with ageing. I could relate to a few of them a little too well. Her humor and insightful writing made this a great read.

[ML · Rating 2 out of 5]

Way too whiny and woe is me...

[Sara Goldenberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Liked it a lot. Wish it were longer!

[Katy Lovejoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

nice message