The range of emotions created by this book extends from fist thrown high and yelling “Yes!” out loud, right down to squirming with embarrassment as one recognises oneself as being a culprit; but essentially this is a more or less gentle reminder that most of us are pretty clueless about what the rules are… What a funny bunch we all are!
At the same time, I believe there is a serious element in all of this. We in the rich, developed countries have managed to grasp the idea of individual freedom with both hands, and consequently we are more or less sensitised to ensuring our own personal happiness in life is all important. None of us want to be judged or told what to do by anybody: that’s what “freedom” means. Ironically the personal perception that no rules made up by others are necessarily meant for us personally has lead to the phenomenon of many articles, books, podcasts, etc. on self-help designed to facilitate our new-found freedoms — they help us choose how to be different and yet be happy and content with our lives. But “being different” has its own rules, albeit often simplified ones, which are developed and issued as suggestions intended to influence our decisions and our outlook on life.
Flanagan’s big insight was that these simplified rules were simply not enough, certainly as far as she was concerned; and absolutely just not good enough to satisfy true happiness for all. She managed to find that there were literally hundreds of rules, most of which are broken daily by just about everybody. The insight was that the freedoms taken up by others, and promoted by the various media, in fact actually impinge on one’s sense of personal freedom. We need lots of extra rules just to keep these unwanted incursions on our individual freedom in check. Hence this book.
If there is a fault with Flanagan’s work it is that her extensive list is not nearly as extensive as it could be. If anything, readers should take up the cudgels in defence of our individual personal freedom and come up with many, many more rules, and that all of these should eventually be published and made readily available to all and sundry — after all, how else can other people be made aware of the outrageous liberties they claim for themselves? and how deviously and subversively they counter true freedom for everybody else, when they claim their freedom, but not mine, as absolute! The very idea is unconscionable! They need to be controlled. And the best way to do that is to have more and more rules.
All of this, of course, will take quite some time to compile, first of all, and then to upgrade and refine over decades, centuries and many lifetimes, but Flanagan’s book is a much appreciated first step. Who knows? in the end we may all become fully recognisant of the fact that all true freedoms are those which are completely circumscribed by stringent rules. In the meantime we should be humbled, but amused by anything less.