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I Know How To Pick 'Em
"I sure know how to pick 'em.
"Except I don't know as I've got any credit coming for this one, because it it's hard to make the case that it was me that picked her. She walked into that edge-of-town roadhouse with the script all worked out in her mind, and all that was left to do was cast the lead.
"The male lead, that is, Far as the true leading role was concerned, well, that belonged to her. That much went without saying. Woman like her, she'd have to be the star in all of her productions.
"They had a jukebox, of course. Loud one. Be nice if I recalled what was playing when I crossed the threshold, but I wasn't paying attention—to the music, or to who came through the door. I had a beer in front of me, surprise surprise, and I was looking into it like any minute now it would tell me a secret.
"Yeah, right. All any beer ever said to me was Drink me down, horse. I might make things better and I sure can't make 'em worse..."
I Know How to Pick 'Em was written for Dangerous Women, an anthology edited by George R. R. Martin and Gardner Dozois. For an earlier anthology of theirs, Warriors, I wrote a story called "Clean Slate," my fourth story about an ever-so-dangerous young woman named Kit Tolliver; it was selected for that year's volume of Best American Mystery Stories and turned the corner for Kit Tolliver, whose adventures in erotic misanthropy subsequently coalesced into a full-length novel, Getting Off.
I doubt any such future awaits the narrator of "I Know How to Pick 'Em," but how can I know for sure? For now, enjoy the story...
"Except I don't know as I've got any credit coming for this one, because it it's hard to make the case that it was me that picked her. She walked into that edge-of-town roadhouse with the script all worked out in her mind, and all that was left to do was cast the lead.
"The male lead, that is, Far as the true leading role was concerned, well, that belonged to her. That much went without saying. Woman like her, she'd have to be the star in all of her productions.
"They had a jukebox, of course. Loud one. Be nice if I recalled what was playing when I crossed the threshold, but I wasn't paying attention—to the music, or to who came through the door. I had a beer in front of me, surprise surprise, and I was looking into it like any minute now it would tell me a secret.
"Yeah, right. All any beer ever said to me was Drink me down, horse. I might make things better and I sure can't make 'em worse..."
I Know How to Pick 'Em was written for Dangerous Women, an anthology edited by George R. R. Martin and Gardner Dozois. For an earlier anthology of theirs, Warriors, I wrote a story called "Clean Slate," my fourth story about an ever-so-dangerous young woman named Kit Tolliver; it was selected for that year's volume of Best American Mystery Stories and turned the corner for Kit Tolliver, whose adventures in erotic misanthropy subsequently coalesced into a full-length novel, Getting Off.
I doubt any such future awaits the narrator of "I Know How to Pick 'Em," but how can I know for sure? For now, enjoy the story...
27 pages, Paperback
First published November 6, 2014
13 people are currently reading
38 people want to read
About the author
Lawrence Block
768 books2,989 followersLawrence Block has been writing crime, mystery, and suspense fiction for more than half a century. He has published in excess (oh, wretched excess!) of 100 books, and no end of short stories.
Born in Buffalo, N.Y., LB attended Antioch College, but left before completing his studies; school authorities advised him that they felt he’d be happier elsewhere, and he thought this was remarkably perceptive of them.
His earliest work, published pseudonymously in the late 1950s, was mostly in the field of midcentury erotica, an apprenticeship he shared with Donald E. Westlake and Robert Silverberg. The first time Lawrence Block’s name appeared in print was when his short story “You Can’t Lose” was published in the February 1958 issue of Manhunt. The first book published under his own name was Mona (1961); it was reissued several times over the years, once as Sweet Slow Death. In 2005 it became the first offering from Hard Case Crime, and bore for the first time LB’s original title, Grifter’s Game.
LB is best known for his series characters, including cop-turned-private investigator Matthew Scudder, gentleman burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr, globe-trotting insomniac Evan Tanner, and introspective assassin Keller.
Because one name is never enough, LB has also published under pseudonyms including Jill Emerson, John Warren Wells, Lesley Evans, and Anne Campbell Clarke.
LB’s magazine appearances include American Heritage, Redbook, Playboy, Linn’s Stamp News, Cosmopolitan, GQ, and The New York Times. His monthly instructional column ran in Writer’s Digest for 14 years, and led to a string of books for writers, including the classics Telling Lies for Fun & Profit and The Liar’s Bible. He has also written episodic television (Tilt!) and the Wong Kar-wai film, My Blueberry Nights.
Several of LB’s books have been filmed. The latest, A Walk Among the Tombstones, stars Liam Neeson as Matthew Scudder and is scheduled for release in September, 2014.
LB is a Grand Master of Mystery Writers of America, and a past president of MWA and the Private Eye Writers of America. He has won the Edgar and Shamus awards four times each, and the Japanese Maltese Falcon award twice, as well as the Nero Wolfe and Philip Marlowe awards, a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Private Eye Writers of America, and the Diamond Dagger for Life Achievement from the Crime Writers Association (UK). He’s also been honored with the Gumshoe Lifetime Achievement Award from Mystery Ink magazine and the Edward D. Hoch Memorial Golden Derringer for Lifetime Achievement in the short story. In France, he has been proclaimed a Grand Maitre du Roman Noir and has twice been awarded the Societe 813 trophy. He has been a guest of honor at Bouchercon and at book fairs and mystery festivals in France, Germany, Australia, Italy, New Zealand, Spain and Taiwan. As if that were not enough, he was also presented with the key to the city of Muncie, Indiana. (But as soon as he left, they changed the locks.)
LB and his wife Lynne are enthusiastic New Yorkers and relentless world travelers; the two are members of the Travelers Century Club, and have visited around 160 countries.
He is a modest and humble fellow, although you would never guess as much from this biographical note.
Born in Buffalo, N.Y., LB attended Antioch College, but left before completing his studies; school authorities advised him that they felt he’d be happier elsewhere, and he thought this was remarkably perceptive of them.
His earliest work, published pseudonymously in the late 1950s, was mostly in the field of midcentury erotica, an apprenticeship he shared with Donald E. Westlake and Robert Silverberg. The first time Lawrence Block’s name appeared in print was when his short story “You Can’t Lose” was published in the February 1958 issue of Manhunt. The first book published under his own name was Mona (1961); it was reissued several times over the years, once as Sweet Slow Death. In 2005 it became the first offering from Hard Case Crime, and bore for the first time LB’s original title, Grifter’s Game.
LB is best known for his series characters, including cop-turned-private investigator Matthew Scudder, gentleman burglar Bernie Rhodenbarr, globe-trotting insomniac Evan Tanner, and introspective assassin Keller.
Because one name is never enough, LB has also published under pseudonyms including Jill Emerson, John Warren Wells, Lesley Evans, and Anne Campbell Clarke.
LB’s magazine appearances include American Heritage, Redbook, Playboy, Linn’s Stamp News, Cosmopolitan, GQ, and The New York Times. His monthly instructional column ran in Writer’s Digest for 14 years, and led to a string of books for writers, including the classics Telling Lies for Fun & Profit and The Liar’s Bible. He has also written episodic television (Tilt!) and the Wong Kar-wai film, My Blueberry Nights.
Several of LB’s books have been filmed. The latest, A Walk Among the Tombstones, stars Liam Neeson as Matthew Scudder and is scheduled for release in September, 2014.
LB is a Grand Master of Mystery Writers of America, and a past president of MWA and the Private Eye Writers of America. He has won the Edgar and Shamus awards four times each, and the Japanese Maltese Falcon award twice, as well as the Nero Wolfe and Philip Marlowe awards, a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Private Eye Writers of America, and the Diamond Dagger for Life Achievement from the Crime Writers Association (UK). He’s also been honored with the Gumshoe Lifetime Achievement Award from Mystery Ink magazine and the Edward D. Hoch Memorial Golden Derringer for Lifetime Achievement in the short story. In France, he has been proclaimed a Grand Maitre du Roman Noir and has twice been awarded the Societe 813 trophy. He has been a guest of honor at Bouchercon and at book fairs and mystery festivals in France, Germany, Australia, Italy, New Zealand, Spain and Taiwan. As if that were not enough, he was also presented with the key to the city of Muncie, Indiana. (But as soon as he left, they changed the locks.)
LB and his wife Lynne are enthusiastic New Yorkers and relentless world travelers; the two are members of the Travelers Century Club, and have visited around 160 countries.
He is a modest and humble fellow, although you would never guess as much from this biographical note.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
January 27, 2017
Honestly have no clue about how a brutish man who chokes women to death made it into the Dangerous women compilation.
December 19, 2021
Disturbing honestly and not about a dangerous women but a dangerous man.
July 28, 2022
Serial killer reminisces about what created him. No redeeming value. This did not belong in an anthology called “Dangerous Women”.
September 16, 2020
Awful. How did this book get In a collection of stories about Dangerous Women
September 6, 2022
This was so messed up and I want to go back to when I never heard of this nor ever listened to it
November 26, 2022
Collected in Dangerous Women and Dangerous Women 1. The protagonist has her pegged the minute she walks into his bar - the femme fatale intends to find someone violent whom she can lull with sex, and make him fall in love with her enough to want to protect her from her "abusive" husband.
Unfortunately for this dangerous woman, this man is messed up beyond belief and cold, so so cold. She thought she was picking, but instead it was he who knows how to pick 'em. Someone should have told her she picked the wrong guy, who has horrible issues.
This was very true-crime disturbing, I didn't enjoy it much.
Unfortunately for this dangerous woman, this man is messed up beyond belief and cold, so so cold. She thought she was picking, but instead it was he who knows how to pick 'em. Someone should have told her she picked the wrong guy, who has horrible issues.
This was very true-crime disturbing, I didn't enjoy it much.
May 31, 2021
The writing was pretty decent, although some scenes made me really uneasy. What I don't get is how did this make it to Dangerous Women? In my humble opinion ut has no place being there, it's probably a reasimon why I won't finish it.
August 16, 2016
kinda dumb ! love bernie rhodenbarr, guess you can't go by one series of an author!!
May 7, 2018
There was a shocking twist to the story that wasn't entirely relevant to the story, which maybe deserved further exploration given its nature. The rest was much of a muchness even if it is a Block story.
August 18, 2018
Loved it!
January 6, 2020
A story about a man who is influenced by a women to do a bad thing.
November 27, 2020
Another taster from the dangerous women short stories.
About a man and woman who meet in a bar, but it is not the usual expected tale.
About a man and woman who meet in a bar, but it is not the usual expected tale.
August 8, 2021
My first thought upon finishing the story was literally that this would make a great storyline on Criminal Minds. Really well written and I was so hooked I forgot about my Solitaire game
December 13, 2023
This was a good story, as they almost all were. Was it a perfect "women are the best and toughest and greatest!!!" story, no, but it was still really enjoyable.
February 20, 2017
I honestly don't know why I love this short story....
I keep coming back to it. I read it about halfway through the collection of short stories entitled Dangerous Woman, and while it is not the best story in the collection, it is the one I most remember.
It keeps coming back to mind. I remember it often. I don't know why. It has caused me a great deal of introspection.
Gary is an unlikeable main character.... and yet.... I can't help but like him, even sympathize with him.
Things that stick out in my mind:
* The opening line
* Kitty Wells - Honky Tonk Angels, mention
* "large, well-spaced eyes"
* This story reminds me soooo much of honky tonk bars in Charleston
* The dialogue, at least in the beginning is amazing.
* I don't care much for the second-half of the story; I even forget what happens, on a re-listen, it's not good, but the amazing first-half more than makes up for it.
* "I know how to pick 'em"\
* Not that good at lifting my poor self out of a rut, let alone an automobile" lol
* Liver shot description
* honestly, the fucking narrator nails it. He's perfect. to love this story, you HAVE to listen to the audiobook version!
I keep coming back to it. I read it about halfway through the collection of short stories entitled Dangerous Woman, and while it is not the best story in the collection, it is the one I most remember.
It keeps coming back to mind. I remember it often. I don't know why. It has caused me a great deal of introspection.
Gary is an unlikeable main character.... and yet.... I can't help but like him, even sympathize with him.
Things that stick out in my mind:
* The opening line
* Kitty Wells - Honky Tonk Angels, mention
* "large, well-spaced eyes"
* This story reminds me soooo much of honky tonk bars in Charleston
* The dialogue, at least in the beginning is amazing.
* I don't care much for the second-half of the story; I even forget what happens, on a re-listen, it's not good, but the amazing first-half more than makes up for it.
* "I know how to pick 'em"\
* Not that good at lifting my poor self out of a rut, let alone an automobile" lol
* Liver shot description
* honestly, the fucking narrator nails it. He's perfect. to love this story, you HAVE to listen to the audiobook version!
January 4, 2016
Never Ceases to Amaze.....
Have been a fan ever since my first sample of his writing, "A Walk Among the Tombstones". Very clever, hard-boiled writer......will continue to plow through is books with enthusiasm. Makes writing look easy.......
Have been a fan ever since my first sample of his writing, "A Walk Among the Tombstones". Very clever, hard-boiled writer......will continue to plow through is books with enthusiasm. Makes writing look easy.......
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews