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Heritage #1
Heritage: Locke's Legacy
“If you look closely, in the shadows of the great birch, you may catch a silhouette moving as though walking between the boughs. If you listen, you might hear a happy giggle as the dragonfly perches on the petal of a water lily. There are more magics and miracles in this world than you can possibly imagine.” -Deeta Rose Rimbauer
Adeline Rimbauer was descended of a long, proud line of Caretakers. Her family had been charged with the care and safekeeping of Vampyrs for generations. She’d served more than half of her life in the shadow of her Vampyr Masters and Mistresses and she was quite good as what she did. While not pursuing her heart’s passions as her sister did, she was comfortable in the life she’d made for herself.
Not happy, but content.
Women like her...well, women such as she didn’t deserve better. Darkness was a roiling, destructive presence in her life as far back as she could remember. It sucked the joy from her soul like the vacuum of an abyss. It tainted her. She’d fought for a shred of happiness of her own, but learned the brutal truth on the dagger’s edge of death...
Some people just weren’t worth the air they breathed.
Fate, however, sought to teach her a new lesson. One’s legacy is not left in the footprint of their failures, but in their connections with those around them and the glowing mark which they leave behind in the hearts of those that love them.
Miracles and magic are all a matter of perception and seven men are bound and determined to show Adeline how much of a miracle she is in this world.
Their miracle.
Adeline Rimbauer was descended of a long, proud line of Caretakers. Her family had been charged with the care and safekeeping of Vampyrs for generations. She’d served more than half of her life in the shadow of her Vampyr Masters and Mistresses and she was quite good as what she did. While not pursuing her heart’s passions as her sister did, she was comfortable in the life she’d made for herself.
Not happy, but content.
Women like her...well, women such as she didn’t deserve better. Darkness was a roiling, destructive presence in her life as far back as she could remember. It sucked the joy from her soul like the vacuum of an abyss. It tainted her. She’d fought for a shred of happiness of her own, but learned the brutal truth on the dagger’s edge of death...
Some people just weren’t worth the air they breathed.
Fate, however, sought to teach her a new lesson. One’s legacy is not left in the footprint of their failures, but in their connections with those around them and the glowing mark which they leave behind in the hearts of those that love them.
Miracles and magic are all a matter of perception and seven men are bound and determined to show Adeline how much of a miracle she is in this world.
Their miracle.
459 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 13, 2019
30 people are currently reading
53 people want to read
About the author
Guin Archer
16 books22 followersGuin is an old soul caught in a sometimes-naughty body. She lives in upstate New York and enjoys nights out on the back deck listening to the crickets chirp while she reads another book. There's not much better in her world than chilling with the animals and getting lost in a new book boyfriend (or a few).
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
November 10, 2019
I feel that all of the five star reviews of this are not quite accurate, so I am putting my thoughts out there. To me, this story was not ready to be more than fanfiction yet. I don't mean to disparage the author or discourage them because I truly enjoyed the original fanfiction, but I had a hard time finishing this book. It felt to me like the author was cramming so many things into the novel with little to no background explanation or significance attached to them. It was as if the author viewed the setup of the novel as a hurdle to blast through as quick as possible in order to get to the real story they really wanted to tell. Within the first fifty pages, we are given more place names, characters, brands, etc. than anyone can reasonably remember. And the majority of the time, the details we are given have no significance to the story.
One example would be where Addie cosplays for Halloween as a character from her favorite anime and Jude goes as someone from a video game I believe. My first issue with this is that Addie's amazing sewing/cosplaying abilities are never mentioned prior to this point halfway through the book, nor are they ever mentioned again. If this is the case, there is really no need for it to come up at all besides as another reason she is "special" which I will come back to later. My second issue is the naming of an actual anime and actual video game. It was not necessary and it pulled me out of the world that was being created. It also made me question copyrighting issues. There's a reason authors don't do that too often.
The other thing in regards to there being too many details is the fact that random creatures keep popping up. There's a spriggan doctor, shifters, vampires, fae, and Normals (let's not even get into how cliche of a name that is). The existence of these other races of creature keep getting sprung on us throughout the book, and we are given no explanation for why it is possible for a "spriggan" doctor to be in the same place as shifters. Have they always coexisted? Is there history between them? We don't know. I guess it just goes back to there being no background or buildup to the creation of this world. I don't know these character's motivations for their most basic actions.
Moving on to other problems. The author is very determined to make us understand how "special" Addie is. She can cook really well; she can apparently sew ; she's pretty and has SEVEN mates. She's a compassionate caretaker but an innate leader. Also she's apparently a distant relative to Titania. . . . WTF? That is where I almost put the book down out of disgust. We are given no reason to find this believable and yet so much hinges on this. Besides that, we don't even know who Titania is in this book. In classic fairy tails, Titania is the fairy queen. In some books, she's a good queen. In other books, she's not. Other than that, I'm not too sure of who she is especially in relation to this book. And I should be if it is so fundamental to this particular story. I shouldn't have to wonder who Titania is.
While I could continue, I feel the last major issue I had to address in this review is the Shifter hierarchy. There are Alphas, Betas, Gammas, and Omegas; a play off of how wolf packs work. We are expected to believe that some shifters will be naturally subservient to the Alphas, and I just don't buy that. In some aspects yes. Alphas are like real world bosses who employ and pay the masses and are treated with respect. This makes sense. What doesn't make sense is the scraping and kowtowing that constantly happens in the book that everyone seems to be ok with. Addie puts up token protests about being waited on hand and foot, but literally no one else bats an eye at it. Even how other speak to Addie and the Alphas seems just really demeaning to the other characters. I honestly didn't know how much this aspect bothered me until I started to write about it.
In all honesty, I think the author has potential. They did some really nice work on depicting depression and when they were riffing off of Twilight, they made a decent story. But there's a lot of room to grow.
One example would be where Addie cosplays for Halloween as a character from her favorite anime and Jude goes as someone from a video game I believe. My first issue with this is that Addie's amazing sewing/cosplaying abilities are never mentioned prior to this point halfway through the book, nor are they ever mentioned again. If this is the case, there is really no need for it to come up at all besides as another reason she is "special" which I will come back to later. My second issue is the naming of an actual anime and actual video game. It was not necessary and it pulled me out of the world that was being created. It also made me question copyrighting issues. There's a reason authors don't do that too often.
The other thing in regards to there being too many details is the fact that random creatures keep popping up. There's a spriggan doctor, shifters, vampires, fae, and Normals (let's not even get into how cliche of a name that is). The existence of these other races of creature keep getting sprung on us throughout the book, and we are given no explanation for why it is possible for a "spriggan" doctor to be in the same place as shifters. Have they always coexisted? Is there history between them? We don't know. I guess it just goes back to there being no background or buildup to the creation of this world. I don't know these character's motivations for their most basic actions.
Moving on to other problems. The author is very determined to make us understand how "special" Addie is. She can cook really well; she can apparently sew ; she's pretty and has SEVEN mates. She's a compassionate caretaker but an innate leader. Also she's apparently a distant relative to Titania. . . . WTF? That is where I almost put the book down out of disgust. We are given no reason to find this believable and yet so much hinges on this. Besides that, we don't even know who Titania is in this book. In classic fairy tails, Titania is the fairy queen. In some books, she's a good queen. In other books, she's not. Other than that, I'm not too sure of who she is especially in relation to this book. And I should be if it is so fundamental to this particular story. I shouldn't have to wonder who Titania is.
While I could continue, I feel the last major issue I had to address in this review is the Shifter hierarchy. There are Alphas, Betas, Gammas, and Omegas; a play off of how wolf packs work. We are expected to believe that some shifters will be naturally subservient to the Alphas, and I just don't buy that. In some aspects yes. Alphas are like real world bosses who employ and pay the masses and are treated with respect. This makes sense. What doesn't make sense is the scraping and kowtowing that constantly happens in the book that everyone seems to be ok with. Addie puts up token protests about being waited on hand and foot, but literally no one else bats an eye at it. Even how other speak to Addie and the Alphas seems just really demeaning to the other characters. I honestly didn't know how much this aspect bothered me until I started to write about it.
In all honesty, I think the author has potential. They did some really nice work on depicting depression and when they were riffing off of Twilight, they made a decent story. But there's a lot of room to grow.
November 29, 2020
To say this story had every cliche but a kitchen sink would be false as this story does have multiple kitchen sinks that readers read about. Repeatedly. Regardless of nothing significant happening there. Ceramic. Hands. Porcelain. Iron pots. Glass. As readers you are described each one. A few times. Not just a few sentences but many. Many Paragraphs. Many Pages. A lot of sinks here, but actually those inane details are small compared to the rest you have to wade through to find a story not about sinks. At all.
This story fell apart before it even started. Hard to believe with that much sink support in the plot. If you are unaware of pop culture you won’t be able to get through this plot because instead of world-creating, the author has expressed everything in reference to some current website, book, movie, video game, millennial hobby, or comic book. The original fanfiction this was molded from, it was missing some screws, but you could overlook that because you had read the series and kinda knew where everything sat. Instead, Guin Archer took away certain things from Twilight and Forks, WA, added others, and none of it worked cohesively. Kind of like a grapefruit milkshake. If the first 300 or so pages disappeared and the remaining 100+ were detail-bleached then there might be something semi-readable. Until then, prepare to be bludgeoned with conflicting characteristics and the importance of knowing everyone’s sock color and lunch preference. This is not a joke.
Anything past this point is not so much a review as it a demand for explanation on what was read, why was it written and how can one person be this way? Equal parts the characters and author.
Here is a brief comparison of Twilight and Heritage.
Twilight had:
Werewolves and vampires.
Pacific northwest.
Vampires smell overly sweet to werewolves.
Edward leaves Bella and she stays outside and gets sick.
Jacob Black, the main werewolf, was Native American.
Bella drives a 1953 Chevy pickup her dad gave her.
Werewolves share a pack mind when in wolf form.
This Story had:
Werewolves and vampires. Along with every other mythological creature/deity/ urban legend known to man, but each one is literally only mentioned once, randomly in paragraphs of background info.
Pacific northwest.
Vampires smell overly sweet to werewolves.
Lucien leaves Addie and she stays outside and gets sick.
Daire, the Alpha Prime Superior, in your face, probably missing some pompous titles, is Native American.
Addie drives a 1955 Chevy pickup to remind her of her dad.
Werewolves share a pack mind when in wolf form.
So. Many. Information. Dumps! It’s like word diarrhea. The characters monologue incessantly so that there is little present action taking place in the story. The majority of paragraphs are about what happened in the past and what the character dreams about what they wished would happen. Too little of the story is about the story, now, the interaction that should presently be taking place between them. In dialogue a character will ask a question to another and literally, eight paragraphs of inner monologue later, an answer will be given and the reader has forgotten what was asked. This is the norm format in this story, not the exception.
GRAMMAR. PUNCTUATION. FIND AN EDITOR!
You cannot write “That’s my choice.” She said.
If she said it, the dialogue needs to end with a comma before the last quotation. There are no exceptions to this in editing, regardless of personal writing preference. The kicker is about 20% of the dialogue sentences are correct which makes this an odd occurrence. Some days the author liked it and others she didn’t?
You cannot have two characters speaking in the same paragraph! You cannot have Character A speaking and Character B’s thoughts of it in the same paragraph (ex pg 212, 240, the eyeballs crossed and drool fell from the reader making more example pages unreported.)
If you need to feel smart and throw a thesaurus at readers, please make sure you have not only spelled the word correctly but have also used a dictionary to make sure the word works.
Addie tells Lucien that she resigned from the OVA because of him. The story goes on to say that once you’ve resigned from OVA you can never rejoin. But then a few pages later there’s a sentence about how if it’s found out Lucien helped her get a writing contract, she’d be blacklisted from OVA because of reasons for revenge and hurting bloodmates. You can’t be blacklisted from a job if you’re already ineligible for rehire. And for that matter, why is Addie allowed to be a caretaker when later she outright says she’s suffered from depression her entire life, even going so far as to have committed self-harm? Lucien has obviously seen her walk the line of destruction since he purposely asks her not to hurt herself.
How can a vampire have a bloodmate, a person who obviously has blood, but then Lucien says he found his bloodmate with another vampire when the author writes that vampires don’t have blood? There’s a line about how it freezes which prevents the vampires from ever aging.
Uses the word vampyr but then uses the word vampiric which is the adjective for vampire instead of vampyric which would be the adjective for vampyrs if one feels the need to change the spelling of dead creatures of the night that drink blood because gotta be new and inventive.
Pg 19 Daire arrives at Addie’s house. Readers are subjected to seven pages of needless backstory and another appearance and disappearance of a second character before Daire even walks through her front door. If the wolves can mind-link when in human form, why does this second wolf have to travel all the way to another town to deliver an important message?
The hierarchy of castes for shifters alone is like trying to memorize Pi to the 100th decimal. It can be done but for the most part, like in this story, it’s pointless and useless. If there are six other Primes, readers don’t need to know that until another one in introduced in the story, not here in the beginning.
Four pages about a mansion that is later regurgitated in the story all over again. Multiple times. Edit: By the time you progress far enough into the story where the characters actually arrive to see the manson/manor/cave house, there are 12 continuous pages to describe every aspect of the place. Sinks! Sinks! Sinks! Nothing is happening here other than Addie is dumbfounded and asks inane questions and the plot moves nowhere except readers are reminded the wolves are rich and Addie will lack for nothing. In case you’ve forgotten the previously read 280 pages where readers are told this. Repeatedly. In case you forgot. Sinks!
p.29 “A shock of carnal lust beat down through his blood and made his staff bray for release”
That is an actual line from the book! Not sure how such a body part can bray since braying is an audibly produced sound, and as far as the readers have been informed to date, werewolves here do not have vocal chords below the belt.
So Jude’s sister is sick, not deathly-so just a simple cold, yet Jude is okay letting Daire take Addie to his house for care as long as Addie agrees? A man neither sister knows at all. And Addie never outright agreed, but no one seemed concerned with her inability to make choices at that point. In Twilight, Charlie knew Jake so it made since when he asked to take care of his best friend, Bella.
Jude grunts several times in her phone conversation with Addie but then calls Addie out on it which is weird and shows that when this was written as a Twilight fanfiction and Charlie was the character who grunted, the actions worked for the character.
FFS, if it’s important enough to bore the reader with inane details to highlight how smart the character is, make sure the facts are correct. Addie is good at math. Addie hates math. Addie is self sufficient. Addie has an English degree she can’t use but she has one. For some reason. She’s smart or something but then her sister Jude must be smart too because she’s a nurse yet neither of them can figure out that Jude should probably help pay the rent or something instead of suicidal Addie having to take care of everything after she’s lost her job.
The constant reference to all of the name brand items (cars, books, TV shows, etc) reads like a publicity promotion. It’s also tedious drabble. There is nothing in the fact that Addie likes True Blood that matters to anything plot wise. It doesn’t make her feel more real or give readers a connection.
Why is Addie clinically depressed and what bearing does it have on the plot other than making her self recriminations annoyingly misplaced? Are all heroines mentally fit? No, of course not, but at this point readers already have a kitchen sink full of unidentifiable and useless crap details, why add it and do nothing with it? Another detail thrown at us, elaborated with ten pages of Addie sharing heartbreaking details, Daire sympathetic to her plight all the while both of them inner monologuing about how much they want to sex up the other person with raging staffs and wet welcoming sleeves.
One of the werewolves is of Scottish descent. But his on again/ off again accent for no particular reason is pointless. He speaks with it heavily sometimes, and other times not at all for paragraphs at a time.
Werewolves shouldn’t be able to smell things from a distance unless they have detachable noses, or the scent has had a chance to travel on air currents; basic physics. How one can smell someone from inside of a house as soon as they open a car door though, yet can’t hear the love of their life retching lunch all over the bedroom floor next to them with their supersonic senses is a mystery.
If a human Locke is what controls the male shifter’s wolf, how does it work when a Locke is a female shifter? What controls her wolf? Readers spent several pages in Daire’s head about this but it doesn’t make sense if it only works for humans and not wolves when a Locke could be either. Its mentioned again between two characters uselessly chattering about it, but there are no characters readers come across where this information becomes relevant.
Pg 220 she is greeted by Hawk as he picks her up from work. It isn’t until pg 223 that the conversation resumes. Readers are left with two pages of Addie inner monologue before returned to the scene of being greeted. If those are pertinent story details, write the scenes as direct actions, not Alzheimer placed memories.
Wanda is a pediatrician who goes to a party with Yuri and Addie. She doesn’t know anything about paranormal creatures or if they even exist, but at no point does she find the seven males posturing for Addie weird? She doesn’t question Addie being called Lady Adeline by kids, strangers, waitresses? Yuri is unaware of werewolves, too, but she doesn’t have any questions regarding Addie’s sudden polygamy? The premise of the story line is that the majority of the real world doesn’t know about other creatures but these human characters are unaware to the point of being mentally deficient.
Somewhere in the first couple of chapters, Addie muses over how only the upper rich of society in the world are aware of paranormal creatures. Then later one of the wolves thinks about how grateful he is that 72% of the world's population are paranormal creatures leaving readers to wonder if all humans in the story are that unaware and naive? Or does the author like to haphazardly throw out contradicting facts to leave readers guess who the idiot is supposed to be?
P.339 “His thumbs pulled at her nether lips causing her vulva to gape open with an audible gasp”.
Apparently all reproductive organs in this book belong to a symphony! And while this line stretches ones imagination past anything remotely pleasing, be advised that this sentence is from Daire and Addie’s first time making love, when just hours before she received third degree burns to her body, a broken right arm, broken left kneecap and is presently tied down so as not to further injure herself while having sex because if they don’t do it right now, she’s going to die, no joke, that is a plot detail and not an exaggerated comment.
p.443 “Her left hand lifted and she knuckled her lips with her fingertips.”
That, right there, is some freaky body movement. Did her knuckles slide down her fingers into the tips? Does she have knuckle fingertips always and this is the first time readers are hearing about it? Nobody knows! But this story is full of these types of brain deadening details.
Every chapter readers are reminded of:
-How Addie begins to collect moisture in her underwear. Fine, okay, if her and a wolf are actually engaged physically, but if she’s wet in every chapter just standing near wolf-men, it’s no longer sexy. She probably needs to see a doctor and wear an adult diaper.
-The exact color pants, shirt, style and footwear everyone is wearing. It’s boring. Readers already expect the wolves to be sexy; what they wear to drive her home is unimaginative filler. The description of every single clothing item Addie and everyone around her is wearing, literally in every scene is maddening. This story would be 40,000 words less if just the clothing descriptions were taken out. It bears no plot weight and is another example of useless drivel.
-The lyrics from the Meatloaf song “I would do anything for love, but I can’t do that” sung by every wolf in the book with verse variation being what exactly they can’t do, arf arf, growl, but how they want to because Addie isn’t the most beautiful woman they've ever seen but she’s perfect and their manly wolfy parts can’t wait to burrow inside of Addie like an Alien Facehugger. Sexy, right?
-Addie is smart. Wicked smart. Really, truly, smart. In case you forgot. She’s also self sufficient, a great artist, a great writer, a great cook, a great seamstress, her costumes for cosplay look like a professional made them, per the eighteen comments from other characters in this book telling her so. All because she’s smart.
-Everybody but Addie is rich! Super, duper, they literally excrete jewels, rich! Yes, you read that correctly, and that is not an exaggeration. Her men are at the top of the social ladder for the entire area, so everyone bows to them and Addie, but they constantly lavish gifts on her like mink coats, using a Rolls Royce to drive her places, silk clothes, French cuisine, personal shoppers. The shifters are richer than Bill Gates, and lavish pearls and gold upon Addie, all the while the author reminds you of how the rest of the world doesn’t know about paranormal creatures because NO ONE ever pays attention to the flashy, stupid rich echelons.
This story fell apart before it even started. Hard to believe with that much sink support in the plot. If you are unaware of pop culture you won’t be able to get through this plot because instead of world-creating, the author has expressed everything in reference to some current website, book, movie, video game, millennial hobby, or comic book. The original fanfiction this was molded from, it was missing some screws, but you could overlook that because you had read the series and kinda knew where everything sat. Instead, Guin Archer took away certain things from Twilight and Forks, WA, added others, and none of it worked cohesively. Kind of like a grapefruit milkshake. If the first 300 or so pages disappeared and the remaining 100+ were detail-bleached then there might be something semi-readable. Until then, prepare to be bludgeoned with conflicting characteristics and the importance of knowing everyone’s sock color and lunch preference. This is not a joke.
Anything past this point is not so much a review as it a demand for explanation on what was read, why was it written and how can one person be this way? Equal parts the characters and author.
Here is a brief comparison of Twilight and Heritage.
Twilight had:
Werewolves and vampires.
Pacific northwest.
Vampires smell overly sweet to werewolves.
Edward leaves Bella and she stays outside and gets sick.
Jacob Black, the main werewolf, was Native American.
Bella drives a 1953 Chevy pickup her dad gave her.
Werewolves share a pack mind when in wolf form.
This Story had:
Werewolves and vampires. Along with every other mythological creature/deity/ urban legend known to man, but each one is literally only mentioned once, randomly in paragraphs of background info.
Pacific northwest.
Vampires smell overly sweet to werewolves.
Lucien leaves Addie and she stays outside and gets sick.
Daire, the Alpha Prime Superior, in your face, probably missing some pompous titles, is Native American.
Addie drives a 1955 Chevy pickup to remind her of her dad.
Werewolves share a pack mind when in wolf form.
So. Many. Information. Dumps! It’s like word diarrhea. The characters monologue incessantly so that there is little present action taking place in the story. The majority of paragraphs are about what happened in the past and what the character dreams about what they wished would happen. Too little of the story is about the story, now, the interaction that should presently be taking place between them. In dialogue a character will ask a question to another and literally, eight paragraphs of inner monologue later, an answer will be given and the reader has forgotten what was asked. This is the norm format in this story, not the exception.
GRAMMAR. PUNCTUATION. FIND AN EDITOR!
You cannot write “That’s my choice.” She said.
If she said it, the dialogue needs to end with a comma before the last quotation. There are no exceptions to this in editing, regardless of personal writing preference. The kicker is about 20% of the dialogue sentences are correct which makes this an odd occurrence. Some days the author liked it and others she didn’t?
You cannot have two characters speaking in the same paragraph! You cannot have Character A speaking and Character B’s thoughts of it in the same paragraph (ex pg 212, 240, the eyeballs crossed and drool fell from the reader making more example pages unreported.)
If you need to feel smart and throw a thesaurus at readers, please make sure you have not only spelled the word correctly but have also used a dictionary to make sure the word works.
Addie tells Lucien that she resigned from the OVA because of him. The story goes on to say that once you’ve resigned from OVA you can never rejoin. But then a few pages later there’s a sentence about how if it’s found out Lucien helped her get a writing contract, she’d be blacklisted from OVA because of reasons for revenge and hurting bloodmates. You can’t be blacklisted from a job if you’re already ineligible for rehire. And for that matter, why is Addie allowed to be a caretaker when later she outright says she’s suffered from depression her entire life, even going so far as to have committed self-harm? Lucien has obviously seen her walk the line of destruction since he purposely asks her not to hurt herself.
How can a vampire have a bloodmate, a person who obviously has blood, but then Lucien says he found his bloodmate with another vampire when the author writes that vampires don’t have blood? There’s a line about how it freezes which prevents the vampires from ever aging.
Uses the word vampyr but then uses the word vampiric which is the adjective for vampire instead of vampyric which would be the adjective for vampyrs if one feels the need to change the spelling of dead creatures of the night that drink blood because gotta be new and inventive.
Pg 19 Daire arrives at Addie’s house. Readers are subjected to seven pages of needless backstory and another appearance and disappearance of a second character before Daire even walks through her front door. If the wolves can mind-link when in human form, why does this second wolf have to travel all the way to another town to deliver an important message?
The hierarchy of castes for shifters alone is like trying to memorize Pi to the 100th decimal. It can be done but for the most part, like in this story, it’s pointless and useless. If there are six other Primes, readers don’t need to know that until another one in introduced in the story, not here in the beginning.
Four pages about a mansion that is later regurgitated in the story all over again. Multiple times. Edit: By the time you progress far enough into the story where the characters actually arrive to see the manson/manor/cave house, there are 12 continuous pages to describe every aspect of the place. Sinks! Sinks! Sinks! Nothing is happening here other than Addie is dumbfounded and asks inane questions and the plot moves nowhere except readers are reminded the wolves are rich and Addie will lack for nothing. In case you’ve forgotten the previously read 280 pages where readers are told this. Repeatedly. In case you forgot. Sinks!
p.29 “A shock of carnal lust beat down through his blood and made his staff bray for release”
That is an actual line from the book! Not sure how such a body part can bray since braying is an audibly produced sound, and as far as the readers have been informed to date, werewolves here do not have vocal chords below the belt.
So Jude’s sister is sick, not deathly-so just a simple cold, yet Jude is okay letting Daire take Addie to his house for care as long as Addie agrees? A man neither sister knows at all. And Addie never outright agreed, but no one seemed concerned with her inability to make choices at that point. In Twilight, Charlie knew Jake so it made since when he asked to take care of his best friend, Bella.
Jude grunts several times in her phone conversation with Addie but then calls Addie out on it which is weird and shows that when this was written as a Twilight fanfiction and Charlie was the character who grunted, the actions worked for the character.
FFS, if it’s important enough to bore the reader with inane details to highlight how smart the character is, make sure the facts are correct. Addie is good at math. Addie hates math. Addie is self sufficient. Addie has an English degree she can’t use but she has one. For some reason. She’s smart or something but then her sister Jude must be smart too because she’s a nurse yet neither of them can figure out that Jude should probably help pay the rent or something instead of suicidal Addie having to take care of everything after she’s lost her job.
The constant reference to all of the name brand items (cars, books, TV shows, etc) reads like a publicity promotion. It’s also tedious drabble. There is nothing in the fact that Addie likes True Blood that matters to anything plot wise. It doesn’t make her feel more real or give readers a connection.
Why is Addie clinically depressed and what bearing does it have on the plot other than making her self recriminations annoyingly misplaced? Are all heroines mentally fit? No, of course not, but at this point readers already have a kitchen sink full of unidentifiable and useless crap details, why add it and do nothing with it? Another detail thrown at us, elaborated with ten pages of Addie sharing heartbreaking details, Daire sympathetic to her plight all the while both of them inner monologuing about how much they want to sex up the other person with raging staffs and wet welcoming sleeves.
One of the werewolves is of Scottish descent. But his on again/ off again accent for no particular reason is pointless. He speaks with it heavily sometimes, and other times not at all for paragraphs at a time.
Werewolves shouldn’t be able to smell things from a distance unless they have detachable noses, or the scent has had a chance to travel on air currents; basic physics. How one can smell someone from inside of a house as soon as they open a car door though, yet can’t hear the love of their life retching lunch all over the bedroom floor next to them with their supersonic senses is a mystery.
If a human Locke is what controls the male shifter’s wolf, how does it work when a Locke is a female shifter? What controls her wolf? Readers spent several pages in Daire’s head about this but it doesn’t make sense if it only works for humans and not wolves when a Locke could be either. Its mentioned again between two characters uselessly chattering about it, but there are no characters readers come across where this information becomes relevant.
Pg 220 she is greeted by Hawk as he picks her up from work. It isn’t until pg 223 that the conversation resumes. Readers are left with two pages of Addie inner monologue before returned to the scene of being greeted. If those are pertinent story details, write the scenes as direct actions, not Alzheimer placed memories.
Wanda is a pediatrician who goes to a party with Yuri and Addie. She doesn’t know anything about paranormal creatures or if they even exist, but at no point does she find the seven males posturing for Addie weird? She doesn’t question Addie being called Lady Adeline by kids, strangers, waitresses? Yuri is unaware of werewolves, too, but she doesn’t have any questions regarding Addie’s sudden polygamy? The premise of the story line is that the majority of the real world doesn’t know about other creatures but these human characters are unaware to the point of being mentally deficient.
Somewhere in the first couple of chapters, Addie muses over how only the upper rich of society in the world are aware of paranormal creatures. Then later one of the wolves thinks about how grateful he is that 72% of the world's population are paranormal creatures leaving readers to wonder if all humans in the story are that unaware and naive? Or does the author like to haphazardly throw out contradicting facts to leave readers guess who the idiot is supposed to be?
P.339 “His thumbs pulled at her nether lips causing her vulva to gape open with an audible gasp”.
Apparently all reproductive organs in this book belong to a symphony! And while this line stretches ones imagination past anything remotely pleasing, be advised that this sentence is from Daire and Addie’s first time making love, when just hours before she received third degree burns to her body, a broken right arm, broken left kneecap and is presently tied down so as not to further injure herself while having sex because if they don’t do it right now, she’s going to die, no joke, that is a plot detail and not an exaggerated comment.
p.443 “Her left hand lifted and she knuckled her lips with her fingertips.”
That, right there, is some freaky body movement. Did her knuckles slide down her fingers into the tips? Does she have knuckle fingertips always and this is the first time readers are hearing about it? Nobody knows! But this story is full of these types of brain deadening details.
Every chapter readers are reminded of:
-How Addie begins to collect moisture in her underwear. Fine, okay, if her and a wolf are actually engaged physically, but if she’s wet in every chapter just standing near wolf-men, it’s no longer sexy. She probably needs to see a doctor and wear an adult diaper.
-The exact color pants, shirt, style and footwear everyone is wearing. It’s boring. Readers already expect the wolves to be sexy; what they wear to drive her home is unimaginative filler. The description of every single clothing item Addie and everyone around her is wearing, literally in every scene is maddening. This story would be 40,000 words less if just the clothing descriptions were taken out. It bears no plot weight and is another example of useless drivel.
-The lyrics from the Meatloaf song “I would do anything for love, but I can’t do that” sung by every wolf in the book with verse variation being what exactly they can’t do, arf arf, growl, but how they want to because Addie isn’t the most beautiful woman they've ever seen but she’s perfect and their manly wolfy parts can’t wait to burrow inside of Addie like an Alien Facehugger. Sexy, right?
-Addie is smart. Wicked smart. Really, truly, smart. In case you forgot. She’s also self sufficient, a great artist, a great writer, a great cook, a great seamstress, her costumes for cosplay look like a professional made them, per the eighteen comments from other characters in this book telling her so. All because she’s smart.
-Everybody but Addie is rich! Super, duper, they literally excrete jewels, rich! Yes, you read that correctly, and that is not an exaggeration. Her men are at the top of the social ladder for the entire area, so everyone bows to them and Addie, but they constantly lavish gifts on her like mink coats, using a Rolls Royce to drive her places, silk clothes, French cuisine, personal shoppers. The shifters are richer than Bill Gates, and lavish pearls and gold upon Addie, all the while the author reminds you of how the rest of the world doesn’t know about paranormal creatures because NO ONE ever pays attention to the flashy, stupid rich echelons.
April 27, 2020
It was way too long. I would have given it four stars if it wasn't for that.
April 5, 2020
well that was a slow burn read. it felt like a mix of maybe Finding my pack by Lane Whitt & Ghost bird by Cl Stone ish but with their own twist. I felt like some parts where just outdrawn and could have been shorter. This MC is more down to earth and not so kick ass but she has a kind heart and other traits to her like her fae heritage. I want to read the next book cuz of the ending
October 19, 2019
Loved!!!
I love, love this book!! While it's a reverse harem it goes so much deeper than most others. I love how during the book the FMC changes and is finally coming into her own despite past challenges. I can not wait till the next book to see how her and her mates lives change and grow!!!
I love, love this book!! While it's a reverse harem it goes so much deeper than most others. I love how during the book the FMC changes and is finally coming into her own despite past challenges. I can not wait till the next book to see how her and her mates lives change and grow!!!
October 23, 2019
So good
I really like this book! The characters are well written and interesting. The storyline is solid and well written. !
I really like this book! The characters are well written and interesting. The storyline is solid and well written. !
October 24, 2019
I loved it!
The characters development was amazing.
Definitely worth it,
So excited to see what’s gonna happen next !
The characters development was amazing.
Definitely worth it,
So excited to see what’s gonna happen next !
March 13, 2023
In my copy of this book, there were no explanation of this universe, and there really, really needed to be because this paranormal world is so unlike and uses so uncommon words for everything that it makes the book longwinded and tiresome to read.
It is set in USA, with a lot of paranormal groups living in hiding from humans; Vampires, shifters, fae, witches etc.
A quick guide to the weird words/world in this book:
Prime - the Alpha shifter for a larger area
Alpha Superior - Alpha that leads a pack, is one step below the Prime.
Several other Alphas often help the Alpha Superior run the pack.
Then you got Betas, Gammas, Deltas, Omegas which are just shifters with different roles/strengths. Omegas here are not like in Omegaverse books, they are just lower level shifters.
Normals - Humans
Sentinels - Beta/Gamma guards
Prima - the female Prime, or the Prime’s partner
Locke - What most other books would call a fated mate
Bloodmates - A vampires fated mate
Caretaker - a butler-like role that Vampires hire in people to be at their estates.
Marker - A tree that is connected to a fea’s life force. If it is damaged the fae will also die.
Prosaic - Normal population
Besides the over complicated use of different words for already pretty established and normalized paranormal systems, the overall language is comolicated and unnecessarily weird. Also a few of the guys in the harem has pretty strong accents which is always typed out making reading what they say sometimes challenging.
Now the overall story of itself is pretty good. Had the world building and languange not been so complicated I easily would have given this a 4 star rating. I really like Addie, I like her struggle with depression and how that has been shown, the guys are not very easily seperated but they are all nice enough, and her friends are great and help her accept the guys and that she could feel like she deserves happiness for herself too.
It is set in USA, with a lot of paranormal groups living in hiding from humans; Vampires, shifters, fae, witches etc.
A quick guide to the weird words/world in this book:
Prime - the Alpha shifter for a larger area
Alpha Superior - Alpha that leads a pack, is one step below the Prime.
Several other Alphas often help the Alpha Superior run the pack.
Then you got Betas, Gammas, Deltas, Omegas which are just shifters with different roles/strengths. Omegas here are not like in Omegaverse books, they are just lower level shifters.
Normals - Humans
Sentinels - Beta/Gamma guards
Prima - the female Prime, or the Prime’s partner
Locke - What most other books would call a fated mate
Bloodmates - A vampires fated mate
Caretaker - a butler-like role that Vampires hire in people to be at their estates.
Marker - A tree that is connected to a fea’s life force. If it is damaged the fae will also die.
Prosaic - Normal population
Besides the over complicated use of different words for already pretty established and normalized paranormal systems, the overall language is comolicated and unnecessarily weird. Also a few of the guys in the harem has pretty strong accents which is always typed out making reading what they say sometimes challenging.
Now the overall story of itself is pretty good. Had the world building and languange not been so complicated I easily would have given this a 4 star rating. I really like Addie, I like her struggle with depression and how that has been shown, the guys are not very easily seperated but they are all nice enough, and her friends are great and help her accept the guys and that she could feel like she deserves happiness for herself too.
April 6, 2020
WHAT JUST HAPPENED... I'M AT A LOSS... SPEECHLESS
✔ Fated mates (a lot of them)
✔ Werewolves (Shifters)
✔ Meduim burn
✔ Depression
This book was so freaking good! I loved the length of it just as much as I like length on a certain body part 🤣😉 (I just had to, couldn't contain myself, sorry not sorry🤷♀️) BUT BACK TO SOME MORE SERIOUSNESS...
The characters I loved, the plot I loved. As you can see there's a pattern here, LOVED EVERYTHING.💕
The main female character... I'm so used to reading about a strong and dominant FMC, so this was really refreshing.
The thing is, Addie is actually amazingly strong, which you fully realize near the end of this book. She has lived through so much, lost so much. She is so strong, but in her own way. In this first book we learn the ins and outs of Addie's personality, who she is and her struggle with depression (which the author portrayed extremely well).
In this book it was more focused on who Addie is and I hope that we get a glimpse in her mates' pasts as well.
I don't want to get more into it, because I went in blind and I really enjoyed it! Cannot wait for book 2!! Great book, great story and great characters.
♥
✔ Fated mates (a lot of them)
✔ Werewolves (Shifters)
✔ Meduim burn
✔ Depression
This book was so freaking good! I loved the length of it just as much as I like length on a certain body part 🤣😉 (I just had to, couldn't contain myself, sorry not sorry🤷♀️) BUT BACK TO SOME MORE SERIOUSNESS...
The characters I loved, the plot I loved. As you can see there's a pattern here, LOVED EVERYTHING.💕
The main female character... I'm so used to reading about a strong and dominant FMC, so this was really refreshing.
The thing is, Addie is actually amazingly strong, which you fully realize near the end of this book. She has lived through so much, lost so much. She is so strong, but in her own way. In this first book we learn the ins and outs of Addie's personality, who she is and her struggle with depression (which the author portrayed extremely well).
In this book it was more focused on who Addie is and I hope that we get a glimpse in her mates' pasts as well.
I don't want to get more into it, because I went in blind and I really enjoyed it! Cannot wait for book 2!! Great book, great story and great characters.
♥
April 26, 2020
This is a great book. A little excessive on the language, though. Like, there are chapters that could almost stand to be cut away. I'm giving such a high rating, though, because it's something different from the typical badass, I'm-gonna-take-on-the-whole-world-and-watch-it-burn chick. It's a real hard look at what depression is and does to a person and I love that. That being said, if that hadn't hit me in the feels it would probably be a 3-star.
May 9, 2020
Interesting
This was an interesting book. I enjoyed the characters and the Mc has mental health problems and I love that her men support her love her. I’m looking foreword to the next book.
This was an interesting book. I enjoyed the characters and the Mc has mental health problems and I love that her men support her love her. I’m looking foreword to the next book.
April 25, 2020
Really enjoyed this book it draws you in from the beginning and holds you in till the end
January 19, 2020
perfect 5/5 stars would give more if allowed
I love love love love this book!!
If you haven't read the book yet then you should!!! you're missing out on a lot. I'll try to keep this review spoiler free as much as possible but just in case
First of all, congratulations to the author for achieving every FF writers dreams (publishing his/her own book. you go gurll)! I've been following this author for quite some time, and her "first draft" of the book (the one in ff) is one of my fav stories.
One of the things I loved about this book is that IT ACTUALLY HAS A STORY. Which is actually quite rare to find in a RH book especially one with wolves/ shifters in it. Most books are all about domination, sex, etc no plot what so ever (I love a good erotica novel as much as the next person but when you've read a whole bunch of them they get tiring and boring).
I also like the fact that there was no instant love in the book, sure there was S tension right at the start and they were taking care of her but they didn't love her- the guys admitted it themselves at the very beginning. Honestly, reading the guys fall in love with her one at a time due to her personality and character instead of pure lust was one of the fact why this is currently my fav RH book. It also makes me feel more connected with the characters and the story instead of having flat characters insta-love/ lust on a girl then !bam! sex, sex, sex ( *sigh*). Which brings me to the naughty side of the book, if you know what I mean. The S tension between her and the guys are oh so steamy and delicious. Oh my lordt. I swear in some scenes I had to put down the book to process and calm myself (in a good way!). The way they protected her, cared for her, worried for her was amazing to me. All the interactions between addie and her mates were all well written and to the point where i'm actually jealous of addie. :<. I want my own set of alphas :(.
The setting and side characters were also engaging. The world building was extraordinary for me as well. Introducing us to the "other communities", pack hierarchy and her interactions with other members of the pack. Small details scattered within the book portrayed this and was actually very interesting for me. I actually want to read more on how she interacts with her pack as a whole, not just her alphas as well as her sentinels and staff (it is repeated multiple times in the book how her well being amounts to the well being of the pack however we see very few interactions between addie and the pack itself, excluding of course her mates, staff and sentinels). the only time we ever see her interacting with the members of the pack is during the Halloween party as well as her leaving food for the guards, which was mentioned only in passing. however i think this is nitpicking at best.
Overall I LOVE this book and is my favorite RH book (trust me I've read a lot).
perfect 5/5 would give more stars if allowed
I love love love love this book!!
If you haven't read the book yet then you should!!! you're missing out on a lot. I'll try to keep this review spoiler free as much as possible but just in case
First of all, congratulations to the author for achieving every FF writers dreams (publishing his/her own book. you go gurll)! I've been following this author for quite some time, and her "first draft" of the book (the one in ff) is one of my fav stories.
One of the things I loved about this book is that IT ACTUALLY HAS A STORY. Which is actually quite rare to find in a RH book especially one with wolves/ shifters in it. Most books are all about domination, sex, etc no plot what so ever (I love a good erotica novel as much as the next person but when you've read a whole bunch of them they get tiring and boring).
I also like the fact that there was no instant love in the book, sure there was S tension right at the start and they were taking care of her but they didn't love her- the guys admitted it themselves at the very beginning. Honestly, reading the guys fall in love with her one at a time due to her personality and character instead of pure lust was one of the fact why this is currently my fav RH book. It also makes me feel more connected with the characters and the story instead of having flat characters insta-love/ lust on a girl then !bam! sex, sex, sex ( *sigh*). Which brings me to the naughty side of the book, if you know what I mean. The S tension between her and the guys are oh so steamy and delicious. Oh my lordt. I swear in some scenes I had to put down the book to process and calm myself (in a good way!). The way they protected her, cared for her, worried for her was amazing to me. All the interactions between addie and her mates were all well written and to the point where i'm actually jealous of addie. :<. I want my own set of alphas :(.
The setting and side characters were also engaging. The world building was extraordinary for me as well. Introducing us to the "other communities", pack hierarchy and her interactions with other members of the pack. Small details scattered within the book portrayed this and was actually very interesting for me. I actually want to read more on how she interacts with her pack as a whole, not just her alphas as well as her sentinels and staff (it is repeated multiple times in the book how her well being amounts to the well being of the pack however we see very few interactions between addie and the pack itself, excluding of course her mates, staff and sentinels). the only time we ever see her interacting with the members of the pack is during the Halloween party as well as her leaving food for the guards, which was mentioned only in passing. however i think this is nitpicking at best.
Overall I LOVE this book and is my favorite RH book (trust me I've read a lot).
perfect 5/5 would give more stars if allowed
December 31, 2019
An excellent read. I was very familiar with this book when it originated as an fanfiction. I'm sure that the author has grown from when he/she was writing the ffic and this translated to all the changes from there.
There is a LOT in this novel and a ton of information (some of it unnecessary, though I'm used to seeing the occasional over-description of this particular author from their ffics). I like a book with meat on its bones and this one gives it to me. I don't agree with another reviewer in that if every book had to be stopped to give background, we'd never get anywhere! If you're not familiar with some of the creatures mentioned, I'd suggest looking up on Google general facts about them (I always do with books I read), but even that isn't true to every story because it changes with the authors. But that's just me!
I fell in love with the main female character (Addie) and ADORED Puck, her macaw familiar. This book hit me right in the feels. I'm borderline big-baby in movies and books and this one had me crying more than once. I like stories with a strong heroine, but not in an overt way. Addie gave that to me.
Also, this story is definitely dark in some points, but not the Dark-Dark you get in Omegaverse novels. While there's a pack and the members have a specific place in it, it's not in your face. Those books (as admirable as they are and how much others love it) make me cringe. I'm not able to read bullying and abuse and total submission stories, so this was a breath of fresh air to me.
Can't wait for the second part to this duet!!!
There is a LOT in this novel and a ton of information (some of it unnecessary, though I'm used to seeing the occasional over-description of this particular author from their ffics). I like a book with meat on its bones and this one gives it to me. I don't agree with another reviewer in that if every book had to be stopped to give background, we'd never get anywhere! If you're not familiar with some of the creatures mentioned, I'd suggest looking up on Google general facts about them (I always do with books I read), but even that isn't true to every story because it changes with the authors. But that's just me!
I fell in love with the main female character (Addie) and ADORED Puck, her macaw familiar. This book hit me right in the feels. I'm borderline big-baby in movies and books and this one had me crying more than once. I like stories with a strong heroine, but not in an overt way. Addie gave that to me.
Also, this story is definitely dark in some points, but not the Dark-Dark you get in Omegaverse novels. While there's a pack and the members have a specific place in it, it's not in your face. Those books (as admirable as they are and how much others love it) make me cringe. I'm not able to read bullying and abuse and total submission stories, so this was a breath of fresh air to me.
Can't wait for the second part to this duet!!!
February 9, 2020
Great read
As a person who suffers from depression, this book really hit home. The way the author describes the fmc depression was extremely talented and spot on. There are so many emotions in this book that make it a work of art. Throughly enjoyed this book and will be following up for book 2. Highly recommend this book
As a person who suffers from depression, this book really hit home. The way the author describes the fmc depression was extremely talented and spot on. There are so many emotions in this book that make it a work of art. Throughly enjoyed this book and will be following up for book 2. Highly recommend this book
January 4, 2020
Great start to the series!
I really liked this story line and cant wait for the continuation in book 2!
Though I thought the first half was a little slower it really picked up in the second half and ended strong. I did think the book was a little long and maybe this should be a trilogy rather than a duet but I liked it all the same and I'm looking forward to the next book!
I really liked this story line and cant wait for the continuation in book 2!
Though I thought the first half was a little slower it really picked up in the second half and ended strong. I did think the book was a little long and maybe this should be a trilogy rather than a duet but I liked it all the same and I'm looking forward to the next book!
December 30, 2019
Dark but heartwarming
Alpha males, sweet but sassy female, plus a whole host of lovable side characters and a very special familiar. Such an swesome book. Cannot wait for the next one!
Alpha males, sweet but sassy female, plus a whole host of lovable side characters and a very special familiar. Such an swesome book. Cannot wait for the next one!
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