Wild Game: Meine Mutter, ihr Liebhaber und ich

by Adrienne Brodeur

Adrienne hat eine umwerfende, strahlende Mutter, die der Mittelpunkt einer jeden Gesellschaft ist. Schon ihr Name Malabar strömt reine Exotik aus. Doch Malabar ist auch eine große Egozentrikerin, und als sie sich in den besten Freund ihres Mannes verliebt, macht sie ihre Tochter zu ihrer engsten Vertrauten und stellt auf diese Weise das Mutter-Tochter-Verhältnis auf den Kopf. Bald schon lebt Adrienne ganz für die aufregende Liebesgeschichte ihrer Mutter, statt ihre eigene Jugend auszukosten. Erst als erwachsene Frau ist sie in der Lage, die Mechanismen zu erkennen, die ihr Leben geprägt haben. Und es gelingt ihr, sich mit ihrer Mutter auszusöhnen, die ihr die Jugend gestohlen hat.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Book Club, Biography, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Family

274 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 15, 2019

About the author

Adrienne Brodeur is the author of the novel "Little Monsters," a New York Times Editor's Choice and a Vogue Best Book of 2023, and the memoir “Wild Game,” which was a Best Book of the Year by Amazon, NPR, People, and the Washington Post. Both "Little Monster" and "Wild Game" are in development as films. She founded the literary magazine, “Zoetrope: All-Story” with filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola, was an acquiring editor at HMH Books, and served as a judge for the National Book Award. Her essays have appeared in Glamour, O Magazine, The National, The New York Times, Vogue, and other publications. She is the Executive Director of the literary nonprofit, Aspen Words

Reviews

[Lisa (NY) · Rating 3 out of 5]

[2.8] This flimsy memoir about a mother/daughter relationship was a painless, but hollow reading experience. I felt some sympathy for the confusion the author experienced but was mostly detached. Takeaway: You need more than messed-up mother to create a memorable memoir.

[Brandice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover and Me is the story of Adrienne Brodeur’s tumultuous relationship with her mother, Malabar. The fateful night setting their relationship on its course occurs when Adrienne is just 14 — Her mother wakes her up from sleeping to inform Adrienne she’s just been kissed by Ben Souther, her husband’s best friend. Adrienne becomes an accomplice to this secret affair and while not wholly responsible, helps keep it alive for years to come, as she perpetually seeks her mother’s love, affection, and approval.

I was not wooed by Malabar’s “charm”. I found her to be manipulative, whiny, and selfish, particularly in her treatment of those she “loved”. It’s clear she loved herself above all else. It was baffling to see how Malabar treated her daughter, putting her in an unfair position at such a young age, asking Adrienne to participate in the facilitation of her sneaking around. It was also surprising how long Adrienne put up with her mother’s antics, well into her own adult life. At 14, I felt for her — At 30, it was harder. You can love your parents and disagree with their belief/actions. At some point, as a coherent adult, you accept this and act accordingly.

When I was offered an ARC of Wild Game, I gratefully accepted, intrigued by its premise. Even anticipating that I’d enjoy it, I’m pleasantly surprised by how much I liked the book! I thought the story was fascinating and I was dying to see how things would play out. I loved the way this one was written.

Thank you to Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.

[emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t remember much about the experience of reading this book beyond the fact that I had trouble putting it down.

I love memoirs. I sometimes struggle to read nonfiction because I love stories, but there’s a specific part of my love of stories that’s dedicated to those that are true. Autobiographies and memoirs, even of mundane or unknown lives, will never cease to intrigue me, because people and their existences are endlessly fascinating.

This was no exception.

This particular story is relatively unremarkable. It details one young girl’s complicity in her mother’s infidelity, the mother using the daughter for support and deceit and help. It’s not world-shaking. The idea of it doesn’t automatically call for permanent recording in published pages. But it’s beautifully written and real and somehow suspenseful and I truly enjoyed reading it.

Bottom line: Maybe there’s an overwhelming influx of memoirs of late, but there will never seem to be too many for me.

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u n p u t d o w n a b l e.

review to come / 4 (?) stars

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oh my god the drama.

(thanks to HMH for the arc)

[BernLuvsBooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

An emotional memoir that I had to keep reminding myself was not a work of fiction.

This was a quick, easy read because it was written in such a way that it almost felt like reading someone's diary. You know that feeling of uncovering someone's deepest, darkest secrets - you can't stop reading because you simply have to know how it all plays out? That's exactly how I felt reading Wild Game .

I found myself shaking my head in disbelief often or wanting to grab the adults in Adrienne's life and give them a good shake to wake them the hell up - especially her mother, Malabar. What a dysfunctional relationship! I could not believe how manipulative, self-centered and selfish she was. She thought of no one but herself and it was appalling how no one around noticed and were instead so enraptured by her.

Adrienne Brodeur's retelling of her painful youth and how it crippled her decision making and left her damaged was brutally honest. Brodeur's memoir shines a positive light on self love and healing. I applaude Adrienne for finally seeing her mother for what she was and for having the strength to live a more self aware, positive and healthy life.

[Catherine · Rating 1 out of 5]

I understand that the author had a narcissistic, catty, every-bad-female-stereotype-put-into-one-horrid-woman mother, and I sympathize with her.

However, other than the relationship between the author and her mother, this is a story about an extremely privileged woman (and her family)--who regularly summers in beach houses, cares so much about a piece of jewelry that it defines her relationship with her mother, and was just planning on her parents financially supporting her when she upended her life well into adulthood--and the vapid issues that arise for people who live this kind of lifestyle while also lacking any ambition to do anything meaningful.

For example, if you came from a single-mother family that faced extreme financial hardship, your mother would be too busy working and too stressed about money to be conspiring with her teenage daughter about how to have an affair with a married man. If you came from an immigrant household in which your parents faced adversaries in their home countries you can only imagine, your relationship with them is of gratitude, guilt, responsibility to make them proud, and many other layers, but having an elaborate affair that is the only thing you care about is the last thing anyone has time for. The very concept of applying the situation presented in the book to either of these examples just sounds so laughable when put into perspective. The author even says that she doesn't know what her mom was doing with her time (while the author was going to school), which means she wasn't working. They had an entire section of their mansion dedicated to the help, so she wasn't doing house cleaning either.

Worst of all, the conflict presented in the book could have been easily resolved if the author had just cut ties with her egotistical mother once she became an adult. However, she couldn't do that because she was still financially dependent on her mother (a common trait, it seems, among those who are born rich).

If you were raised in any way less spoiled than the author was (a very easy bar to meet), I don't think you'll find much meaningfulness or beneficial life lessons from this story. Still, it was an entertaining read, kind of like how TV shows of the frivolously wealthy (e.g. Gossip Girl) are entertaining. But, it wasn't a "remarkable story of resilience" that its synopsis marketed it as.

[Gretchen Rubin]

I LOVED this memoir, couldn't put it down! Elizabeth and I loved it so much that we chose it for the next Happier Podcast Book Club. Read along, join in, we're talking to Adrienne Brodeur in the new year. The subtitle says it all!

[Elyse Walters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hollow experience

[Dea · Rating 4 out of 5]

A riveting, searing, unflinching ride that sucked me in from the first pages and which I subsequently devoured in one go. Heartbreaking and unbelievable and anxiety-inducing - I wanted to punch adult Malabar in the face often, and also give child Malabar a hug.

[PattyMacDotComma · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5★
“When my mother aimed her light at you, let it shine on you and allowed you to feel that you held her interest and amused her, it was nearly impossible to look away. Malabar could be intensely charismatic, a breath of fresh air, an irresistible combination of clever and irreverent, and [X] was enchanted.”

How on earth to set your moral compass as a fourteen-year-old when your mother chooses you as her confidante about her adulterous affair? Not only that, because you so admire and adore her, you become her co-conspirator.

“Sweetie, you can’t tell anyone. Not a soul. Not your brother, not your father, not your friends. No one. This is serious. Promise me that, Rennie. You must take this secret to your grave.” I promised immediately, thrilled to have landed a starring role in my mother’s drama, oblivious to the fact that I was being outmaneuvered for the second time that night.”

Adrienne, ‘Rennie’, is desperate to win top billing in her mother’s affections. Malabar is still grieving for Christopher, her first-born, who died as a toddler. Through no fault of her own, Rennie was born on Christopher’s birthday, so she never really got the whole-hearted celebration of the anniversary of her gracing the world with her presence (as I choose to think of my own birthday). She does have another brother, Peter, whose own sense of place doesn’t figure much in this autobiography.

It is like reading the gossip pages of privileged, well-to-do Americans who live and work on the East Coast and holiday on Cape Cod. Malabar and her two children live with Malabar’s wealthy second husband, whom they all adored – but – Charles has suffered a series of strokes, and while he’s still a charming and wonderful man, he’s not as strong a presence as he was.

His best friend of many years is Ben Souther, who is married to Lily, a relatively frail cancer survivor. Ben is a hunter-gatherer-forager who has trophy heads and brings whatever his latest game is for Malabar to cook for them all.

This is not as strange as it sounds. Malabar is a chef who writes food columns and can cook anything and everything. I’m not a food-show viewer usually, but I did get sucked into Junior MasterChef in Australia this year, where children as young as eleven were making the most incredible dishes and knew so much about ingredients and foods that I’m sure they have all been reincarnated from past lives.

Malabar is exceptional.

“My mother rarely followed recipes. She had little use for them. Hardwired to understand the chemistry of food, she needed only her palate, her instincts, and her fingertips. In a single drop of rich sauce placed on her tongue, she could detect the tiniest hint of cardamom, one lone shard of lemon zest, some whiff of a behind-the-scenes ingredient. She had an innate feel for composition and structure and how temperature might change that.”

She is exceptional in more ways than one.

“She also had a keen awareness of the power of this gift, particularly where men were concerned. Armed with sharp knives, fragrant spices, and fire, my mother could create feasts whose aromas alone would entice ships full of men onto the rocks, where she would delight in watching them plunge into the abyss. I knew about the Sirens from reading Greek mythology and marveled at my mother’s powers.”

Plus, she is gorgeous.

Malabar, photographed in 1951 in New York City. Photo: Courtesy of Adrienne Brodeur

Last of all, or maybe first of all, she is selfish. Malabar has convinced herself and Rennie that she deserves something after the heartbreak of losing a child and suffering along with Charles, although they both claim to love him. Rennie, at fourteen, is impressionable and enjoys the sense of daring as she embarks on ways to put the wooing pair together.

She talks about how it affected her own relationships later, and how she finally came to terms (more or less) with the toll her devotion to her mother took on her own life. Malabar blew hot and cold with her daughter, depending on whether she 'needed' her or not. When she needed Rennie, it was always urgent. When she didn't, Rennie was ignored.

It is a great read, full of intrigue and recipes against the great backdrop of Cape Cod.

“The sun finally pushed through the sky in broad columns of slanted light. The tide was dead low, that still hour that marks the sea’s withdrawal and illuminates the teeming life beneath the surface of our bay: moon snails pushing plow-like across the sandy bottom, horseshoe crabs coupling, schools of minnows moving in perfect synchronicity. As the procession of sunbeams merged into one, the day became long with light, and a space in my mind opened like that between a boat and a dock.”

If you’d like to read part of the beginning, she has shared it here, in the August 2019 issue of ‘Vogue’.

https://www.vogue.com/article/adrienn...

She changed all the names except for hers, her mother’s and her father’s, but with a name like Malabar, she and the others are easy to find easily online.

Thanks to NetGalley and Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for the preview copy which I’ve had for far too long and from which I’ve quoted.

[Susanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

Just imagine it: At the age of fourteen years old, Adrienne Brodeur is awoken in the middle of the night by her mother Malabar and is informed that her stepfather’s best friend, Ben Souther just kissed her mother. Malabar is excited and desperately wants advice from her fourteen year old daughter. And so it begins. Adrienne goes from being her mother’s daughter to her confidante and the one she relies on most. This goes on for the better part of a decade, while Malabar carries on an affair with Ben Souther, behind Charles’, her husband’s back, and behind Lily, Ben’s wife’s back.

Talk about Dysfunction.

Malabar never ever stops to think about the consequences suffered by anyone around her, least of all her own daughter.

Of course these events shape Adrienne’s entire life. How could they not?!

“WIld Game, My Mother, Her Lover and Me” is a memoir by Adrienne Brodeur which is astounding and wholly unbelievable. I simply could not fathom that a mother could do those things to their own daughter! While this memoir is gripping, I was admittedly left wanting as there are moments that are written in more of a tell v show style of writing that left me wishing I felt more of Adrienne’s emotions throughout. Regardless, Adrienne’s story is compelling enough that I couldn’t help but be drawn into her story wondering how on earth she could survive such a dysfunctional, traumatic childhood and even thrive in adulthood. This memoir is proof positive that strength conquers all!

Thank you to Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and Adrienne Brodeur for the galley to read and review.

Published on Goodreads on 2.24.20.

[Chelsea (chelseadolling reads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a train wreck that I couldn't look away from.

TW: adultery, emotional manipulation, incest, depression, suicidal ideation, death of a loved one

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

Soooooooooooooooooooooo apparently this is a thing . . . . .



Which of course I didn’t know about but somehow was well-prepared for anyway due to my lack of timely reviewing. Here’s a selection that I read on September 1st and never wrote imaged up.

Full disclosure: I was offered an advanced copy of Wild Game and took it as soon as I saw the comparison to . . . . .



I don't think I'll ever stop doubting why Average Joes feel their story is one to be told, – especially ones like The Glass Castle or this that air alllllllllllllllllllllll of the family’s dirty laundry to the world. I automatically assume it’s due to the fact that . . . . .



That being said, I totally get why a publishing house would pick up this story because I pretty much looked like this while I was reading it . . . .



There’s just something about the trainwreck factor that sucks me right in. And the story here about a mother using her child as her confidante as she engages in a decades-long affair with her husband’s best friend????


Malabar (Barf, right? How could she not be a complete douche?) would have made for a great Real Housewife of Cape Code and could have seriously used a copy of the APA’s Textbook of Psychiatry . . . . .



4 Stars for the un-put-down-able factor.

ARC provided by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt in exchange for an honest review.

[Book of the Month]

Why I love it
by Jessica Turner

I’m not a big nonfiction reader, but I devoured Wild Game (pun intended). As a mother of three kids, I’m acutely aware of the role I have in their life and appreciate the sacred gift to usher them into adulthood. Maybe that explains my shock and utter dismay over this true story of the author Adrienne’s relationship with her mother, Malabar. The ways in which Malabar repeatedly crossed lines that should never be crossed was unconscionable.

In Wild Game, Malabar pursues an affair with her disabled husband’s best friend, using her daughter, Adrienne, as a distraction, confidante, and accomplice to keep her relationship a secret and ensure its success. Adrienne’s desire to protect her mother—a deeply flawed but undeniably magnetic woman—and her blindness to the inappropriateness of her mother’s actions is heart-wrenching. I was dumbfounded at the manipulation and selfishness of Adrienne’s mother.

Wild Game is sure to be one of 2019’s must-read memoirs, and fans of The Glass Castle and Educated will love that it is similarly compulsively readable. I read it in 24 hours and am still thinking about it weeks later. Adrienne’s mother is as enigmatic as she is selfish—how could anyone act like this? You’ll be talking about just that with friends, strangers—anyone who will listen—for a long time.

Read more at: https://bookofthemonth.com/wild-game-559

[Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader · Rating 4 out of 5]

Adrienne is fourteen years old and asleep one summer night when her mother wakes her to say that she has been kissed by Ben Souther.

After that moment, Adrienne becomes her mother’s closest friend, ally, and enabler in this affair. Did I mention Ben Souther is Adrienne’s father’s best friend?

The affair continues for years, but not without its consequences for everyone involved, including Adrienne when she embarks on her own marriage.

Adrienne is brutally honest about her journey in the relationship she has with her mother. It’s not been easy to make amends. She also has a journey within herself and finds her own limitless strength. Fans of emotional memoirs, you will adore this. It’s powerful and poignant and reads like the best kind of fiction; it just happens to be based on someone’s real life experiences.

I received a complimentary copy from the publisher.

Many of my reviews can also be found on instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

As we walk through life, we sometimes fail to give a voice to the sharp-thorned bramble that attaches itself and clings to our very being.

In Wild Game, Adrienne Brodeur reflects upon the very disjointed and convoluted relationship with her mother, Malabar. Whether with full conscience or inadvertently, we tend to leave fingerprints of our own shortcomings and quirks on the minds of our children. We will come to find that Malabar opened it all full-throttle.

Fourteen is a tender age of becoming. We search through trial and error to place our feet upon the unsteady ground of adolescence. And this is where the uneven relationship rears its jagged head in regard to Adrienne (Rennie) and Malabar. Malabar wakes Rennie from a sound sleep with a bizarre telling of being kissed that evening by her husband's best friend, Ben. Malabar transfers her excitement to Rennie. Rennie only wishes happiness for her mother and agrees to be the conduit in this hidden relationship. She follows along with the couple as a cover for their indiscretions having no clue as to what chaos Malabar has set in motion.

Adrienne Brodeur unlatches the door to her early life and we, as readers, will view the heavy impact all of this will have on Rennie for the rest of her life. We hear so much in regard to fathers/daughters and mothers/sons relationships. Brodeur unpacks this one with a still loving hand towards the one individual with the greatest impact on her life. The manipulation of Malabar will be experienced by offering the rose petal of a kiss that fateful evening rather than the honesty of an illicit affair on her daughter's pillow. The web spun by Malabar is one that is impossible to untangle.

But through it all, we honor Adrienne Brodeur's honesty in the retelling of her painful youth leading to her own adulthood. There is almost a gasp as we acknowledge how crippled her own decision making had become under the influence of Malabar who became flawed and damaged by her own mother. Leaping to the other side of a relationship still doesn't stop the genetics coursing through our bloodstreams at times. But Brodeur shines the light on the possibility it can be done.

I received a copy of Wild Game through Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for an honest review. My thanks to them and to Adrienne Brodeur for the opportunity.

[Malia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was truly a page turner, and though I didn't actually like anyone in the book, I was truly absorbed by the story. Brodeur has a real talent for making nonfiction read like fiction and I couldn't put it down. I could see this being turned into a film, and I'd be curious to see that. Recommended!

Find more reviews and bookish fun at http://www.princessandpen.com

[Jennifer Blankfein · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enthralling family story that asks the hard questions about parenting, infidelity and living an honest life. This memoir about a life altering secret kept me engrossed from beginning to end.

Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover, and Me is a story of a mother’s love, what not to do, and the long journey to recover from the damage done.

Rennie’s mom, Malabar, and her second husband Charles spent a lot of time with friends George and Lily up at the Cape. After Charles’s stroke, he wasn’t as active, but his longtime friend George was loyal and he and his ailing wife, Lily were a fine match for the couple. The four of them had many fun times drinking and eating and had come up with a fun project to create a cookbook together.

It all started one night when Malabar came in to her young daughter, Remmie’s bedroom, and woke her to tell her that George, Charles’s friend, had kissed her. Confiding in her daughter felt right, and Remmie was thrilled to be a part of her mother’s big secret and source of joy. But as things progressed, and George and Malabar began to develop a relationship they chose to nurture without their respective spouses knowing, Remmie became a part of the deceit. She provided alibis, excuses and helped to create opportunity for the cheating couple, and her lies forced her to put her own life on hold in order to help her mother.

A shocking memoir, I found it hard to believe this is a true story, and I couldn’t help but feel anger toward the mother. A mother is someone who protects a child, and hopefully raises him or her with love and affection. Yet, it is possible to be loving, and also cause damage. In Wild Game, author Adrienne Brodeur shares with us the web of lies her mother trapped her in early on when she was just a child. This mother – daughter bond was so strong, it prevented a positive path toward confidence, self esteem and personal success for Adrienne during those formative years of childhood through young adulthood. She made some questionable decisions while trying to separate herself from her mother but created the opportunity to live her own life.

“Whatever pent-up teenage energy had been thwarted in me because of my role in my mother’s affair was now rushing the gate. At last I was the one experimenting with sex, drugs, and adventures. I was the one having the time of my life.”

I was drawn in to Wild Game; Adrienne Brodeur’s story is incredible, mesmerizing and upsetting, and she courageously shares her unusual journey. With reflection and a deeper sense of understanding it seems as if the author has been able to heal.
Follow all my reviews on https://booknationbyjen.com

[Tucker · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Wild Game” tells a story that could easily be mistaken for fiction. But it’s a much more powerful and remarkable story because it’s true. As a fourteen year old, the author is drawn into her mother’s affair as her confidante and enabler. The affair between her mother and her step-father’s best friend continues for years with Brodeur as a willing accomplice. This is not a salacious, bitter, or vengeful memoir but one told with grace and compassion. In an interview Brodeur said “My mother had a difficult life. She was an enormous narcissist, but she was charismatic, loving, and fun, and I was deeply attached to her.” Brodeur is an exquisite and insightful writer and the courage she demonstrates by telling her story is awe-inspiring. Highly recommended.

Thank you to Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and NetGalley for providing an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Tina | TBR, etc. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh wow- you know that feeling where you finish a book and need to take a few days to process? That was WILD GAME. This memoir takes place on Cape Cod and begins when the author, then age 14, is woken by her mother who tells her that a man who she was not married to kissed her. The man is Ben Souther, a married man and her husbands lifelong friend. The author gets sucked into being an accomplice in her mother’s affair- and the entanglement leads to a lifetime of consequences.

I really, really liked this. The writing is straightforward and compelling. You really feel for the author as she continually vies for her mother’s affection, always falling short of the love her mother has for herself. There was a ton of food imagery throughout the book, and you could to find the title Wild Game is a very clever double entendre. If you like complicated family dynamics and drama that will keep you turning the pages, pick up WILD GAME. Out October 15!

[Holly Noel · Rating 2 out of 5]

The writing is very good and the author does a nice job telling her version of the story.
Overall I felt it was a lot of first world problems of some very sad, selfish, BORED & extremely privileged east coasters. The only people I felt any sympathy for were the two spouses who were betrayed for decades by people claiming to be their friends.

[✦ Ellen’s Reviews ✦ · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Don’t ever forget that you and I are two halves of one whole.”

This story is beautiful and tragic and hopeful and all the things! I applaud the author for writing her story with such tenderness and grace. What could have been a salacious and angry retelling instead is a remarkably compelling and satisfying tale.

The author grew up in Boston and Cape Cod, the daughter of a brilliant and talented mother who was a well-known cook. Her cooking and food play a central role in this book, as the author describes her mother's recipes with beautiful detail. Malabar was a food writer and her kitchen was the center of the family.

Married to an older man, Malabar enters into an affair with her husband's friend Ben, who was married to Lily at the time. The two couples were also very close friends. Malabar enlists the help of her daughter, the author, to hide the affair, and Adrienne (Rennie) spends many years hiding evidence of her mother and Ben's affair.

What kind of mother does this to her own teenage daughter? I was surprised with the way in which the author handles her own memories and her mother's behavior. This is not an angry book, but instead is at times a painfully beautiful account of the author's struggles with coming to terms with this betrayal by her own mother.

"We all know the adage that one lie begets the next. Deception takes commitment, vigilance, and a very good memory. To keep the truth buried, you must tend to it."

For years the author did everything to protect her mother and her mother's secret. This takes vigilance and hard work and Rennie's own early life and relationships suffered. All of this just to make her mother happy. As I read this extraordinary story, it became clear to me that Malabar was a narcissist but yet the author does indeed have many happy memories of her childhood and apparently still maintains a relationship with her mother (who now has dementia.) This is an absolutely fascinating story of complex family relationships, the danger of keeping secrets and how our parents shape our lives.

The role of protector was thrust on the author at an early and tender age. I loved how she has overcome her past, and forged her own healthy relationships and come out stronger. Once I started this fascinating book, I could not put it down.

"... I didn’t have a moral compass. It would be years before I understood the forces that shaped who she was and who I became and recognized the hurt that we both caused. What I knew then was that nothing made me feel more loved than making my mother happy, and any means justified that end. Starting when I was fourteen, what made my mother happy was Ben Souther."

The title of the book refers to the name of a cookbook that Malabar and Ben planned to write together. It was also a ruse under which the two couples could spend time together without raising suspicions. Eventually the affair ends up having explosive consequences but even this is handled deftly by the author. Even if you are not a fan of non-fiction, I highly recommend this stunning story. You won't ever forget it!

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Memoir 11 for Nonfiction November and this is a captivating read! I had to keep reminding myself it was a true story, about the author's mother who embarks on an affair with her husband's best friend but drags her daughter into it. It's also about mothers and daughters, waspy Cape Cod culture, and finding your own path. If you go to the beach anytime soon, this is the book to take with you!

I received a copy from the publisher and the book came out October 15, 2019.

[Berit☀️✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

First of all yay me for finishing my first non-fiction of #nonfictionnovember

I was thoroughly engaged in this emotional and poignant memoir! I listen to it on audio and it was simply brilliant! And there is a bonus interview with the author at the end that was just the icing on the cake!

More detailed review to come, but I strongly encourage you to pick this one up!

[Brandon Forsyth · Rating 5 out of 5]

The comparisons to THE GLASS CASTLE are deserved. Not since that book have we had a memoir that is this richly observed, full of poignant detail and heart-stopping sentences. Don’t miss this one.

[Peter Rock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Malabar, the mother, is the most complicated character I've experienced in quite some time. Her actions are so hard to accept, yet the writing itself demonstrates the love of her daughter, and this draws the reader in, too. This storytelling so ably demonstrates the way family relationships shift and change over time. Remarkable accomplishment, rife with secrets so human. I felt kind of like an accomplice, myself.

[Sonja Arlow · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was friends with a woman who, many years ago, used her 7-year-old son to help facilitate her illicit affair with her neighbour. Things came to a head when her little boy let slip to his father that he is always late for school because mommy is busy kissing the neighbour.

Thankfully, I extracted myself from that toxic friendship as she also had a hugely disruptive effect on my life. But if you read this memoir and there is any doubt that a mother would use her child to further her own despicable behaviour, be aware that this happens more than you think.

Thoughtful and thought provoking, I devoured this book in 2 sittings. This was clearly a cathartic exercise for the author and a very insightful read.

This is nothing less than emotional blackmail the author's flamboyant mother inflicted on her, beginning at the tender age of 14 when she confided in Adrienne that a family friend kissed her.

What follows is a mother that shows time and again how she places her own wants and needs before that of her child. A woman who crosses the boundaries between parent and child again and again without once thinking she is doing anything wrong.

It shows how this has shaped Adrienne for the choices she would make as an adult.

I was surprised at just how much I enjoyed this. I think it’s a combination of strong writing and the slow reveal of insight as the author tells her story.

As an added bonus there are descriptions of food that will make you hungry even as you are eating. So be warned, do not read this on an empty stomach.

[Dovilė Filmanavičiūtė · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Gimiau iš kiaušialąstės Malabaros įsčiose, lygiai kaip ir jai pradžią davė Vivijana, už kurios rikiavosi nesuskaičiuojami likimai, radęsi kitų motinų kūnuose. Bendra mūsų istorija nori nenori darys įtaką mano dukteriai. Visa moteriškoji mūsų giminės linija buvo paženklinta nelemtu įspaudu. Malabara man buvo motina, kokia nenorėjau būti pati.”

Man labai sunku patikėti, kad tai ne romanas, o prisiminimų knyga, padėjusi garsiai leidėjai ir rašytojai išsilaisvinti ir gyti.

Jausmas panašus kaip po “Apšviestosios” - nesiliauju sau po nosim bambėjusi wtf wtf wtf...

Kaip motinos galvoje apskritai gimsta mintis paauglę dukrą įtraukti į savo romaną su geriausiu šeimos draugu? Paversti ją įrankiu, melo ir dumblo generatore, kad tik niekas apie tą romaną nesužinotų...Ilgainiui net įgarsinti idėją, kad dukra taptų puikia surogatine motina meilužių porai. Aš negaliu blaiviu protu suvokti.

Labai tiršta, vaizdinga, kupina skonių ir kvapų (tai gastro žurnalistės istorija), skausminga iki sielos gelmių.

Apie motinos nemeilę, apie tos nemeilės ištakas. O tuo pačiu ir apie meilę, kuri yra pakankama žmogui, pačiam patyrusiam žvėrišką emocinį smurtą.

Skatinanti suvokimus ir supratimus. Treniruojanti empatijos raumenis.

Patiko - ne tas žodis.

Wow knyga.

[Dar vieną puslapį · Rating 4 out of 5]

Malabara - žavinga, išsiskyrusi moteris su dviem vaikais. Pagaliau ji pasiekia tai, ko manosi esanti verta - išteka už padoraus, gero ir tikrai puikiai apsirūpinusio vyro. Dabar ši moteris, rodos, gali nevaržomai mėgautis patogiu gyvenimu. Vieną naktį ji pažadina iš miegų savo keturiolikmetę dukrą ir atskleidžia jai paslaptį - geriausias mergaitės patėvio draugas ją pabučiavo. Tai lemtinga akimirka - paauglė iš dukros tampa motinos patikėtine, savotiška režisiere ir bedrininke toliau vystant slaptą romaną. Mergaitė kuria progas motinai pabūti kartu su meilužiu, meluoja aplinkiniams ir kitaip padeda. Visa tai tik tam, kad motina ją įvertintų, kad mergaitė pagaliau gautų dėmesio ir šilumos, kurios jai taip trūksta.

Šią knygą į rankas paėmiau todėl, kad suintrigavo istorijos tikrumas. Autorė ir yra ta paauglė, kuri įsisuko į mamos ir meilužio romano režisavimą. Atvirai pasakysiu - nieko aš apart pramoginio skaitymo nesitikėjau. Buvau prie jūros, mėgavausi laisvu laiku ir maniau, kad ši knyga bus kaip tik. Viršelis ir anotacija tiesiog žadėjo gerą laiką, bet... Knyga mane nustebino. Oi kaip nustebino. Rašymo stilius daug labiau įtraukiantis nei galėjau tikėtis. Autorė sukuria tokią lengvai erotišką paslaptingą atmosferą ir skaitydamas jautiesi lyg neleistinai vartytum kažkieno dienoraštį ar stebėtum tai, kas neskirta tavo akiai pro rakto skylutę. O kas labiausiai nustebino - kur kas giliau užkabinti mamos- dukros disfunkcinio santykio užkulisiai bei pasėkmės mergaitės ateičiai.

Knygos autorė tik po daugelio metų, kai jau pati turi vyrą, augina vaikus ir yra sukūrusi šeimą, suvokia, kas išties vyko, kaip egoistiškai elgėsi jos mama ir kokia viso to įtaka dabarčiai. Ji suvokia, kad visi ši istorija ją labai smarkiai sužeidė. Malabara, jos motina, yra pati sau svarbiausia, visi kiti jos gyvenime, kaip bebūtų skaudu, tik antraplaniai veikėjai. Kaip tai atsilieps autorės santykiui su savo dukra? Ar ji padarys išvadas? Kokius santykius pati norės kurti su savo vyru ir vaikais?

Šią knygą tikrai sunku paleisti iš rankų. Maloniai skaitosi ir vis "užkabina" skaityti toliau. Be to labai skanūs kulinariniai intarpai. Man gurmaniški motyvai knygose visad priduoda papildomų taškų.

Stipriausia knygos vieta - pabaigoje pateikiamas autorės apibendrinimas ir savirefleksija apie visą šią su mama ir jos meilužiu susijusią istoriją. Atvira, skaudi, pamokanti.

Kam skaityti? Norite skrieti knygos puslapiais, mėgautis lengva erotine įtampa su gurmaniškai intarpais, paskanintais uždrausto romano paslaptimi? Ši knyga Jums puikiai tiks.

[Patricija || book.duo · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5

Gyvenimas – tarsi istorijų kaleidoskopas. Priklausomai nuo to, kas jį suka, pasakojimai suspindi vis kitomis spalvomis ir atspalviais, gyliais ir skauduliais. Adrienne Brodeur gyvenimas – tobulas puikios, kaleidoskopinės istorijos pavyzdys. Įrodantis, kad visi, dalyvaujantys veiksme, turi tokius skirtingus žiūrėjimo kampus, kad priklausomai nuo perspektyvos gali jaustis taip, lyg persikeistų visa realybė. Nėra nei vienos tiesos, nei vieno moralinio kompaso rodmens – viskas persipynę ir suvelta, o vienas kaleidoskopo suktelėjimas sujudina visa ko pamatus, o tada susvyruoja ne tik tikėjimas, logika ir suvokimas, bet gal net ir pats gyvenimas.

Laukiniai žaidimai tampa tarsi siaubingo, toksiško ir skausmingo šeimyninio santykio vadovėliu. Vietomis sunkiai suvokiamu, bet tokiu atviru ir nuogu, jog nejauku ne tik tiems, kurie stovi nepridengtomis gėdomis – nejauku ir žiūrinčiajam. Autorė nemanipuliuoja nei skaitytojo jautrumu, nei geranoriškumu ar požiūriu į gyvenimą, ji situaciją vertina blaiviai ir kuo puikiausiai suvokia, kaip gali pasirodyti iš šono – ne tik gyvenimo aplinkybės, bet ir visi veikiantieji – tiek pagrindiniai, tiek epizodiniai realybės aktoriai. Adrienne Brodeur taip užliūliuoja gurmaniškais kasdienybės aprašymais, skausmingais dialogais ir skrodimą be anestezijos primenančiais prisiminimais, jog kartais reikia atsitraukti ir sau priminti, jog tai – ne grožinė literatūra. Jog žmogus, kuris kalba, leidžia žvilgtelėti į vietoje širdies patalpintą tiksinčią bombą – Adrienne perimtas motinos paslaptis, jos kaltę. Autorė, gyvenusi tokiomis nevaikiškomis baimėmis tuomet, kai dar tik turėjo mokytis pati ragauti gyvenimą, puikiai įrodo, kad kartais net ir savo pačios gyvenime gali pagrindinį vaidmenį užleisti kam nors kitam.

Autorė čia tampa tiek išpažintį atliekančiąja, tiek teisėja, tiek kaltinamųjų advokate. Ji sugeba pažvelgti į situaciją iš tokių skirtingų kampų, vos tik skaitytojas ima jausti kartėlį. Tarsi ekstrasensė Brodeur nuspėja, kada imi kaltinti, badyti pirštais ir baisėtis, o tada sukteli kaleidoskopą – atsiveria naujos spalvos ir naujos realybės. Kuriamą paveikslą tobulai papildo kasdienybės ragavimo aprašymai, tokie kvapnūs, tikri ir klampūs, neįmanomi be vertėjos Ievos Sidaravičiūtės talento. Tačiau didžiausias Laukinių žaidimų laimėjimas – autorės sugebėjimas skaitytojui į rankas įduoti kaleidoskopą ir neleisti pajausti, kada lieki jį laikyti vienas pats.

[Kasa Cotugno · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although Adrienne Brodeur had a unique experience as confidant for Malabar, her mother, during Malabar's years' long affair, I found I was curiously unengaged. Yes, using a 14-year-old as a go-between and excuse sets up a toxic situation particularly when the other party happens to be your husband's best friend. Despite the reverberations that followed Brodeur throughout her life, at the end I found I simply didn't care.