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Same Lake, Different Boat: Coming Alongside People Touched by Disability
In a fallen world, we all experience brokenness. In our humanity, we all experience limited ability. We're in the same lake, sharing a common story—but because our experiences differ from person to person, we're not in the same boat.
When it comes to people with disability, however, we often act like we're in different lakes. Disability can seem frightening, abnormal—or even irrelevant to those who do not experience it. But Stephanie Hubach argues that there is a better way to think of disability, a better way to understand the challenges facing those touched by disability, and a better way to understand the role of the church in the lives of people with differing abilities. She pinpoints what is true about disability, in contrast to common secular views, and what we need to rethink and relearn in order to support one another and make God's kingdom truly accessible to all.
This revised and updated edition includes new chapters on growing in grace and journeying into maturity.
When it comes to people with disability, however, we often act like we're in different lakes. Disability can seem frightening, abnormal—or even irrelevant to those who do not experience it. But Stephanie Hubach argues that there is a better way to think of disability, a better way to understand the challenges facing those touched by disability, and a better way to understand the role of the church in the lives of people with differing abilities. She pinpoints what is true about disability, in contrast to common secular views, and what we need to rethink and relearn in order to support one another and make God's kingdom truly accessible to all.
This revised and updated edition includes new chapters on growing in grace and journeying into maturity.
288 pages, Paperback
Published February 5, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
March 17, 2021
This book is outstanding! As the parent of a child touched by disability, I found it deeply moving, thought-provoking, and encouraging. Stephanie helps us process what disability is. Answer: it is a normal part of life in an abnormal world - part of the brokenness that happened when sin entered the human experience.
She unpacks in deeply personal and meaningful ways how we can think about disability, how to personally interact and engage those with a disability, and how to systemically support them and their families, particularly in church settings. It's both deeply theological and deeply practical and very comforting.
More than an approach to disability, it encompasses a philosophy of ministry and relationships I deeply wish more of us had.
This new, revised and expanded edition was much needed.
She unpacks in deeply personal and meaningful ways how we can think about disability, how to personally interact and engage those with a disability, and how to systemically support them and their families, particularly in church settings. It's both deeply theological and deeply practical and very comforting.
More than an approach to disability, it encompasses a philosophy of ministry and relationships I deeply wish more of us had.
This new, revised and expanded edition was much needed.
December 16, 2021
Really liked this one! Gave a good framework for thinking about disability, very gospel centered, extremely balanced in a way that's rare to see.
June 7, 2026
This book is SO RICH and goes far beyond applying to just disability, but is full of wisdom for living life as an imperfect person among imperfect people as a Christ-follower.
My favorite parts of the book were the stories she told about Timmy. He is hilarious and should be a comedian!
The way she broke down the difference between the Modern, Postmodern and Biblical Perspectives on disability were brilliant and so helpful. The way she contrasts Reformation and Revolution in the chapter “On Transformation” just blew my mind - SO GOOD.
Love these quotes:
“The beauty of the gospel, if we truly understand it, is that each of us faces a complete barrier to participation in the kingdom of God due to the profoundly disabled condition of our hearts…we must come with ‘empty hands’ depending on Christ alone to facilitate that life for us.”
“At the times when our relationships are costly, we will quickly remember that God’s establishing a relationship with us was infinitely costly to Him. And that recollection of His grace empowers us to show grace to others.”
“…what matters most - a person’s dignity - not their abilities or disabilities.”
“Some events in life seem to change the world forever. When disability occurs in the life of a family in your church - and it will - please BE THERE. Be there to understand what they are experiencing. Be there to help them to identify their needs….it will make all the difference.”
“Peace is the deliberate adjustment of my life to the will of God. - Anonymous”
“Much of our twenty-first-century American life is organized around denying life’s difficulties.”
“Genuine peace comes only through the hard work of struggle, while the cheap peace of resignation eventually reaps a harvest of bitterness….The earliest aspects of developing peace about disability require us to begin the challenging, painful work of releasing our expectations….Denying the reality of what is true and seeking only to regain what was lost is an exercise in futility that leads to increased grief and prolonged frustration.”
“Living with disability doesn’t require having the strength for tomorrow today. Finding peace in the midst of the responsibilities that accompany disability means learning, in God’s strength, to live moment by moment.”
“Control is an illusion, but it is an illusion that most of us enjoy at one level or another. As Christians, we may dutifully confess that ‘God is in control,’ but our behavior often belies that statement. When calamity enters the life of a family, the facade comes crashing down, and we are left exposed.”
“God releases his power when we relinquish ours…we have individual responsibilities, and that is an important part of embracing reality, but we are not ultimately responsible for outcomes - God is.”
“A developing peace finds its deepest roots in relinquishing control and abandoning ourselves to genuine faith in our Heavenly Father who is worthy of our trust and respect.”
“One of the greatest gifts you can give to a family grappling with disability is the willingness to listen patiently…”
“Operating from a posture of grace means recalling that we all share common experiences of brokenness, even if the details are different. Same lake, different boat.”
“Grappling honestly with weaknesses in areas of faith, owning the ugliness of harbored prejudices, and grieving the disappointment of shattered dreams is extremely challenging…Loving, gracious truth-tellers don’t use the Bible as a wounding weapon; they use it to bring healing balm from the Great Physician himself.”
“Due to our sinful natures, we struggle with valuing our autonomy more than we value discipleship. And yet, by definition, the two cannot coexist.”
“While {the fall} did not negate the call to creativity and productivity, it had the real effect of dramatically altering the focus of humanity’s energies. Instead of operating from a God-centered, relationship-based hub of creative and productive activity, we now struggle with an agenda-focus that reveals our underlying list for personal control. We want our lives to be organized around our individual goals, while relationships to God and neighbor remind secondary - or, even worse, nonexistent….Scripture teaches that our goals and desires in life must always be informed by and subject to the great commandment - a relationship-centered basis for living…a radical call to embrace relationship-centered living as exemplified and empowered by Christ himself: first to God and then to neighbor.”
“God often uses disability as a great opportunity to turn our faces gently away from our self-centered agendas and toward Him. We realize that we cannot shape our lives through effort and ability alone and that secular society’s yardstick for measuring human value is woefully inadequate.”
“The message of Jesus throughout the gospels is one of hospitality - without regard to degree of need or ability to repay. In fact, his central point is that every one of us is in a state of dire need and utterly, entirely unable to repay - but not all of us realize this truth.”
“For decades now, there has been a struggle in American Protestant Christianity…the conservative church became guardian of the true gospel in word, while the liberal church claimed the territory of the true gospel in deed…the true gospel in word and deed is one integrated gospel.”
“…the covenant community experiences a sense of belonging in the body of Christ by hearing the gospel through Christian education in terms that they can understand.”
“People with disabilities experience a significant barrier in contributing to the church and when others fail to even expect them to possess spiritual gifts…Belonging is experienced through contributing - by expressing the gospel - using spiritual gifts ‘given for the common good.’”
“As the church increasingly practices biblical belonging, may the joyful shout of every congregation be ‘We’re a REAL BODY now!’”
“Jesus’s teaching mandates entering into the struggles of the hungry, the thirsty, the stranger, the naked, the sick, and the prisoner.” {see Matthew 25:31-46}
“Keller says, ‘To bear burdens means some of the burden of the person you’re helping falls on you. Until your help actually has an impact on you, you’re not really helping. That is a hard saying.’”
“When people encounter burdens that are beyond their ability to bear alone, they need the church to help to shoulder the weight.”
“We have to go into any place of need expecting to learn from the people, expecting to be changed by the people, expecting to be a real servant of the people….You have got to get rid of the pity and respect the people you’re trying to help. Or you’re really not going to be of any help. -Tim Keller”
“Romans 12 teaches that transformation always begins with me. Transformation begins with renewing my mind with God’s truth and opening my heart to the work of the Holy Spirit to evoke my repentance and produce genuine change in me. Transformation is not something we can accomplish on behalf of others.”
“Revolution is energized by frustration, promotes the forcible change of external behaviors, values the attainment of its cause above the worth of others, and focuses on the acquisition of power from its enemies. But reformation is energized by God’s mercy, promotes Spirit-led change from within the human heart, retains a sense of personal perspective while simultaneously valuing all people, and focuses on the expression of love toward others.”
“A blind man knows he cannot see, and is glad to be led, though it be by a dog; but he that is blind in his understanding, which is the worst blindness of all, believes he sees as the best, and scorns a guide. - Samuel Butler”
“As relational beings, we depend on being received by others to recognize and reinforce our own preciousness. This is why welcoming is a wonderful gift in the body of Christ, but true belonging is even better. When we genuinely belong to each other, we experience a taste of flourishing….true flourishing takes place at the highest intersections of co-occurring authority and vulnerability in relationship with others.”
“Understood in its broadest terms, disability ministry is about making the gospel - the good news of the coming of Christ’s kingdom - accessible to all in word and deed. Our churches need to proclaim the gospel and live it out in such a ways that those who are blind can see it, those who are deaf can hear it, those who have intellectual disabilities can understand it, those with neurological disabilities can process it, and those who are physically challenged can enter into it.”
“Being ‘reformed and ever reforming’ for the glory of God and the blessing of the nations, requires that we be teachable - continually returning to the Word of God with repentant hearts and open minds - while drinking deeply of gospel grace.”
“The keys of the kingdom are not locked in a drawer. They are given to the church (Matt. 16:18-19). [The church] has been placed on earth to proclaim the kingdom and to exemplify it. - Harvie Conn”
“[The kingdom of God] always comes in his power (not ours), on his timetable (not ours), and for his glory (not ours). However, the church does possess the keys to the kingdom. Which means, while we cannot make the kingdom come (or go) in our own power, we can block the entrance. We can shut the door.”
“Jesus describes the posture of a kingdom disciple as consisting of poverty of spirit, mourning and meekness…these characteristics are mirror opposites of the respective self-serving idols so regularly fashioned in our hearts: self-reliance, self-protection, and self-promotion…disability often has a way of shining a spotlight on the places in our hearts where we treasure these closely held idols.”
“…there is an authentic and universal need for mutual assistance between all human beings. For people with disabilities, there is also a relentlessness to disability itself that creates some unique, ongoing needs and, often, more needs overall.”
“So, when self-reliance fails - on our part or on the part of our neighbor touched by disability - we run. We run from the endlessness of disability. And we run from the interdependence of it - unless we can’t run because we live with the endlessness and the interdependence of disability. In contrast, the beatitude of poverty of spirit requires that we admit that we are the antithesis of self-reliant. In fact, in God’s sight, we are utterly without resources of our own merit. Embracing poverty of spirit provides us with exactly what we need - to be God-reliant - and to live in authentic interdependence with others who are also God-reliant.”
“Sometimes, people with disabilities encounter barriers via the church culture idol of affluence when they are perceived as consumers - or, worse, ‘depleters’ - of church assets rather than as people who are gifts of God to build up and bless the body of Christ.”
“…those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable. - 1 Cor. 12:22-23”
“As human creatures, we were designed for vertical community with our Creator, horizontal community with our human neighbors, and a stewarding relationship with the animal world and our environment.”
“There is something glorious about each of us as God’s image bearers - and there is something terribly wrong with each of us as covenant breakers….all of us as fallen human beings reflect God in inaccurate and distorted ways.”
My favorite parts of the book were the stories she told about Timmy. He is hilarious and should be a comedian!
The way she broke down the difference between the Modern, Postmodern and Biblical Perspectives on disability were brilliant and so helpful. The way she contrasts Reformation and Revolution in the chapter “On Transformation” just blew my mind - SO GOOD.
Love these quotes:
“The beauty of the gospel, if we truly understand it, is that each of us faces a complete barrier to participation in the kingdom of God due to the profoundly disabled condition of our hearts…we must come with ‘empty hands’ depending on Christ alone to facilitate that life for us.”
“At the times when our relationships are costly, we will quickly remember that God’s establishing a relationship with us was infinitely costly to Him. And that recollection of His grace empowers us to show grace to others.”
“…what matters most - a person’s dignity - not their abilities or disabilities.”
“Some events in life seem to change the world forever. When disability occurs in the life of a family in your church - and it will - please BE THERE. Be there to understand what they are experiencing. Be there to help them to identify their needs….it will make all the difference.”
“Peace is the deliberate adjustment of my life to the will of God. - Anonymous”
“Much of our twenty-first-century American life is organized around denying life’s difficulties.”
“Genuine peace comes only through the hard work of struggle, while the cheap peace of resignation eventually reaps a harvest of bitterness….The earliest aspects of developing peace about disability require us to begin the challenging, painful work of releasing our expectations….Denying the reality of what is true and seeking only to regain what was lost is an exercise in futility that leads to increased grief and prolonged frustration.”
“Living with disability doesn’t require having the strength for tomorrow today. Finding peace in the midst of the responsibilities that accompany disability means learning, in God’s strength, to live moment by moment.”
“Control is an illusion, but it is an illusion that most of us enjoy at one level or another. As Christians, we may dutifully confess that ‘God is in control,’ but our behavior often belies that statement. When calamity enters the life of a family, the facade comes crashing down, and we are left exposed.”
“God releases his power when we relinquish ours…we have individual responsibilities, and that is an important part of embracing reality, but we are not ultimately responsible for outcomes - God is.”
“A developing peace finds its deepest roots in relinquishing control and abandoning ourselves to genuine faith in our Heavenly Father who is worthy of our trust and respect.”
“One of the greatest gifts you can give to a family grappling with disability is the willingness to listen patiently…”
“Operating from a posture of grace means recalling that we all share common experiences of brokenness, even if the details are different. Same lake, different boat.”
“Grappling honestly with weaknesses in areas of faith, owning the ugliness of harbored prejudices, and grieving the disappointment of shattered dreams is extremely challenging…Loving, gracious truth-tellers don’t use the Bible as a wounding weapon; they use it to bring healing balm from the Great Physician himself.”
“Due to our sinful natures, we struggle with valuing our autonomy more than we value discipleship. And yet, by definition, the two cannot coexist.”
“While {the fall} did not negate the call to creativity and productivity, it had the real effect of dramatically altering the focus of humanity’s energies. Instead of operating from a God-centered, relationship-based hub of creative and productive activity, we now struggle with an agenda-focus that reveals our underlying list for personal control. We want our lives to be organized around our individual goals, while relationships to God and neighbor remind secondary - or, even worse, nonexistent….Scripture teaches that our goals and desires in life must always be informed by and subject to the great commandment - a relationship-centered basis for living…a radical call to embrace relationship-centered living as exemplified and empowered by Christ himself: first to God and then to neighbor.”
“God often uses disability as a great opportunity to turn our faces gently away from our self-centered agendas and toward Him. We realize that we cannot shape our lives through effort and ability alone and that secular society’s yardstick for measuring human value is woefully inadequate.”
“The message of Jesus throughout the gospels is one of hospitality - without regard to degree of need or ability to repay. In fact, his central point is that every one of us is in a state of dire need and utterly, entirely unable to repay - but not all of us realize this truth.”
“For decades now, there has been a struggle in American Protestant Christianity…the conservative church became guardian of the true gospel in word, while the liberal church claimed the territory of the true gospel in deed…the true gospel in word and deed is one integrated gospel.”
“…the covenant community experiences a sense of belonging in the body of Christ by hearing the gospel through Christian education in terms that they can understand.”
“People with disabilities experience a significant barrier in contributing to the church and when others fail to even expect them to possess spiritual gifts…Belonging is experienced through contributing - by expressing the gospel - using spiritual gifts ‘given for the common good.’”
“As the church increasingly practices biblical belonging, may the joyful shout of every congregation be ‘We’re a REAL BODY now!’”
“Jesus’s teaching mandates entering into the struggles of the hungry, the thirsty, the stranger, the naked, the sick, and the prisoner.” {see Matthew 25:31-46}
“Keller says, ‘To bear burdens means some of the burden of the person you’re helping falls on you. Until your help actually has an impact on you, you’re not really helping. That is a hard saying.’”
“When people encounter burdens that are beyond their ability to bear alone, they need the church to help to shoulder the weight.”
“We have to go into any place of need expecting to learn from the people, expecting to be changed by the people, expecting to be a real servant of the people….You have got to get rid of the pity and respect the people you’re trying to help. Or you’re really not going to be of any help. -Tim Keller”
“Romans 12 teaches that transformation always begins with me. Transformation begins with renewing my mind with God’s truth and opening my heart to the work of the Holy Spirit to evoke my repentance and produce genuine change in me. Transformation is not something we can accomplish on behalf of others.”
“Revolution is energized by frustration, promotes the forcible change of external behaviors, values the attainment of its cause above the worth of others, and focuses on the acquisition of power from its enemies. But reformation is energized by God’s mercy, promotes Spirit-led change from within the human heart, retains a sense of personal perspective while simultaneously valuing all people, and focuses on the expression of love toward others.”
“A blind man knows he cannot see, and is glad to be led, though it be by a dog; but he that is blind in his understanding, which is the worst blindness of all, believes he sees as the best, and scorns a guide. - Samuel Butler”
“As relational beings, we depend on being received by others to recognize and reinforce our own preciousness. This is why welcoming is a wonderful gift in the body of Christ, but true belonging is even better. When we genuinely belong to each other, we experience a taste of flourishing….true flourishing takes place at the highest intersections of co-occurring authority and vulnerability in relationship with others.”
“Understood in its broadest terms, disability ministry is about making the gospel - the good news of the coming of Christ’s kingdom - accessible to all in word and deed. Our churches need to proclaim the gospel and live it out in such a ways that those who are blind can see it, those who are deaf can hear it, those who have intellectual disabilities can understand it, those with neurological disabilities can process it, and those who are physically challenged can enter into it.”
“Being ‘reformed and ever reforming’ for the glory of God and the blessing of the nations, requires that we be teachable - continually returning to the Word of God with repentant hearts and open minds - while drinking deeply of gospel grace.”
“The keys of the kingdom are not locked in a drawer. They are given to the church (Matt. 16:18-19). [The church] has been placed on earth to proclaim the kingdom and to exemplify it. - Harvie Conn”
“[The kingdom of God] always comes in his power (not ours), on his timetable (not ours), and for his glory (not ours). However, the church does possess the keys to the kingdom. Which means, while we cannot make the kingdom come (or go) in our own power, we can block the entrance. We can shut the door.”
“Jesus describes the posture of a kingdom disciple as consisting of poverty of spirit, mourning and meekness…these characteristics are mirror opposites of the respective self-serving idols so regularly fashioned in our hearts: self-reliance, self-protection, and self-promotion…disability often has a way of shining a spotlight on the places in our hearts where we treasure these closely held idols.”
“…there is an authentic and universal need for mutual assistance between all human beings. For people with disabilities, there is also a relentlessness to disability itself that creates some unique, ongoing needs and, often, more needs overall.”
“So, when self-reliance fails - on our part or on the part of our neighbor touched by disability - we run. We run from the endlessness of disability. And we run from the interdependence of it - unless we can’t run because we live with the endlessness and the interdependence of disability. In contrast, the beatitude of poverty of spirit requires that we admit that we are the antithesis of self-reliant. In fact, in God’s sight, we are utterly without resources of our own merit. Embracing poverty of spirit provides us with exactly what we need - to be God-reliant - and to live in authentic interdependence with others who are also God-reliant.”
“Sometimes, people with disabilities encounter barriers via the church culture idol of affluence when they are perceived as consumers - or, worse, ‘depleters’ - of church assets rather than as people who are gifts of God to build up and bless the body of Christ.”
“…those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable. - 1 Cor. 12:22-23”
“As human creatures, we were designed for vertical community with our Creator, horizontal community with our human neighbors, and a stewarding relationship with the animal world and our environment.”
“There is something glorious about each of us as God’s image bearers - and there is something terribly wrong with each of us as covenant breakers….all of us as fallen human beings reflect God in inaccurate and distorted ways.”
May 20, 2022
A good book. Filled with heartwarming and even hilarious personal stories, they served as good launchpads for considering what ministering to and with people with disabilities looks like in the Church. I would provide a gentle correction, first brought up by George Hammond considering her paradigm of disability as a normal part in an abnormal world: “By the metric of either the original intrinsic goodness of creation, or by a simple accounting of the majority of the population, disability, and particularly cognitive disability is clearly an abnormal part of an abnormal world” (Hammond 121). This is not meant to be pejorative, but is rather a theological reflection based on God’s creational design, and how things have come about in a fallen world, by His providence.
January 12, 2023
As a parent of an adult who has Down Syndrome I was interested to read someone else’s story especially within the context of church experience. I was also interested as someone who is involved in a church ministry to adults with a learning difference. It was encouraging and also helpful to know that we are probably operating along the right lines. I especially liked what are the additional chapters in this revised edition. Highly recommended especially if you’re not sure what the biblical perspective on disability is.
November 3, 2020
A wonderful resource. Hubach writes from her own experience as the mother of a son with Down syndrome, and helps us to understand a Biblical view of disability. She gives us a solid framework for welcoming and walking alongside people and families touched by disabilities, both in our personal lives and, most importantly, in the church.
October 11, 2020
SO good. And not just informative and text-book like. Very emotionally and spiritually evocative! I recommend regardless of your interest in special education. I recommend as a believer who wants to see every individual honored and appreciated as an image bearer.
October 15, 2022
A very challenging look at disability in the Biblical context. Far from prescribing specific solutions, Hubach keys in on the underlying thematic issues we have culturally. The exegesis of John 9 is of particular interest, and something I had easily overlooked.
January 28, 2023
Incredible book on how to think about disability ministry
October 21, 2024
Practical and real ways to walk alongside those who are suffering. Gave me space are promptings to reflect and learn!
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews