The Talking Cure

by Gillian Straker, Jacqui Winship

'Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.' Carl Jung

The essence of successful therapy is the relationship between the therapist and the patient, a dance of growing trust and understanding. It is an intimate, messy, often surprising and sometimes confusing business -but when it works, it's life-changing.

In The Talking Cure, psychotherapists Gill Straker and Jacqui Winship bring us nine inspiring stories of transformation.

They introduce us to their clients, fictional amalgams of real-life cases, and reveal how the art of talking and listening helps us to understand deep-seated issues that profoundly influence who we are in the world and how we see ourselves in relation to others. We come to understand that the transformative power of the therapeutic relationship can be replicated in our everyday lives by the simple practice of paying attention and being present with those we love.

Whether you have experienced therapy (or are tempted to try it), or you are just intrigued by the possibilities of a little-understood but transformative process, this wise and compassionate book will deepen your sense of what it is to be open to connection - and your appreciation that to be human is to be a little bit mad.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Audiobook, Self Help

Audio CD

Published June 25, 2019

Reviews

[Krystal · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Acknowledging limits, and learning to negotiate them, is one of the primary goals of psychotherapy.'

What a brilliant book this turned out to be!

The workings of the mind absolutely fascinate me, and this book delves into the realm from two sides - not only do we see through the case stories how problematic behaviours can stem from unacknowledged history, we also learn the process of the therapist in unravelling the issues.

The cases themselves are fictional accounts built from numerous similar, real life accounts, lending credibility to the problems that arise and how these are addressed. It's quite interesting to consider that, while every person's problems may be unique, the similar manifesting behaviour is an expression of similar pain. It makes the cases easy to relate to, and there's likely to be times during reading that you'll discover greater insight into some of your own behaviours.

The format is this: an overview of a problematic thought pattern or behaviour is given, then the case story that represents it is summarised. We learn the scenario, and a little more about the specific issue that the client hopes to resolve through therapy. Then we are given the therapist's insight, where she discusses her own thoughts and feelings, and how these help her gain greater understanding of the client. They allow for deeper exploration of the issue, and the case turns towards productive strategies to help negotiate the issues. Concluding each case story is further information and a checklist to help readers identify these issues in themselves or others.

I really enjoyed reading the process, and I appreciate that there's no quick fix for these stories. The workings of the mind are complex, so it's naive to think a handful of sessions with a therapist is going to 'fix' you. I also appreciated that there is never actually the suggestion that someone needs to be 'fixed'; it's simply about addressing troublesome thoughts and behaviours and attempting to understand these to relieve some of the pressure they may cause.

'This whole book ... is about how we can accept that our actions are often driven by factors beyond our conscious control and yet strive to expand our choices so that we are always in the process of becoming.'

I think therapy is often demonised in popular culture, meaning that so many people are afraid to seek help because of the fear that seeing a therapist means admitting there's something 'wrong' with them. This book works hard to demonstrate the value of talking through one's problems, and provides logic for choosing a trained professional as the sounding board. Seeing a therapist doesn't mean you're 'messed up' or 'broken' or any of the ridiculous ideas that seem to be associated with the clientele of this profession. Seeing a therapist demonstrates a desire to better understand the workings of your own mind so that you can better negotiate the world around you. That sounds pretty intelligent to me.

I have so much respect for people who can unravel the mysteries of the mind as comprehensively as these authors. What an asset to society they are, and we are fools not to take greater advantage of their skill.

This is such a fantastic, accessible book for people to develop a greater appreciation for the power of talking. For professionals, for carers, for people who just want greater insight into how the mind works - this book is an incredible tool. I highly recommend it and hope it achieves its goal of helping more people to appreciate the benefits of therapy.

[Jessica Maree · Rating 3 out of 5]

http://jessjustreads.com

The Talking Cure by Professor Gillian Straker and Dr Jacqui Winship brings together eight common struggles brought to therapists.

In each chapter, we meet a different patient with a very different issue that they’re struggling with, and Gillian and Jacqui track their progress and break down their struggles for the reader. Whilst each story in this book is fictional — for confidentiality reasons — the patients are an amalgamation of real patients that exist in the world.

Each hidden struggle in the book is something that is commonly experienced by people within — and outside — of a therapist’s office, including difficult children, closed-off boyfriends, spouses shaken by an unexpected affair, people-pleasers, and more.

It’s quite surprising to recognise yourself in some of these patients. You find yourself genuinely fascinated to see some of your own behaviour in these fictional people, and you can’t help but glimpse the checklist at the end of each chapter to see how much of that ‘category’ you might fit into.

“Meredith had spent so much time thinking about Jade, and imagining her needs and wishes, that her capacity to observe and see her daughter’s actual needs and wishes was impaired. Jade had become a creation of Meredith’s own making.”

Insightful and interesting, The Talking Cure will entice many adult readers interested in learning more about psychology of humans. Don’t try to diagnose yourself with this book though. As I’ve mentioned, the stories in each of the chapters are fictitious and the checklists are merely there as a guide, so take this experience with a grain of salt.

“As I sat in the room with Charlene I experienced her loneliness. Yet even as she was sharing her distress, I felt strangely unmoved. I didn’t feel invited into her world. I felt spoken at rather than spoken to; it seemed to me that I was being asked to bear witness to a story Charlene was telling, but I was prohibited from participating in a dialogue with her.”

Admittedly, The Talking Cure feels a little formulaic after a while. You meet the patient, the psychiatrist reflects on what the ‘struggle’ is and what its effect is, the psychiatrist asks about their childhood and determines that their relationship with their parents and/or siblings explains how they are now, the psychiatrist asks questions to make the patient realise this on their own, and then there’s a checklist for readers to follow. It’s obviously part of the process, but to be completely honest, I was a bit bored by the 5th or 6th chapter.

Additionally, I found Gillian and Jacqui to be incredibly cold in their exchange with the patients (or at least their documented exchange), and truthfully, I never felt that I warmed to either of them throughout the book. There’s something removed about reading these stories, where you never really feel like you’re ‘there’. You feel like a fly on the wall, and sometimes it’s not that interesting.

I’d recommend this book to adult readers who are genuinely interested in the psychology of the human experience, but if you need a little guidance or help with your life, I don’t think this is the first book you should pick up in your journey.

Thank you to the publisher for mailing me a review copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Martyn Tilse · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve just read “The Talking Cure”. Straight up I have to confess I’ve skin in the game! I’m still sorting through all the things that have come up for me in the past three years of psychotherapy.

At the start I imagined a cure! A curing of myself based on skilful questioning by the therapist! It was to be an easy ride! Embarrassing because of the personal details I would have to supply, but apart from that, an easy ride! My Sherlock Holmes would listen to my story, sort the facts, see my problem and inform me. I would feel a huge weigh lifting off me and my mind would spring back into shape like a flat tyre re-inflating. Easy, or at least, unemotional!

Hah! Was I wrong! Therapy was hard yakka, depressive, elating and addictive! There were a few miserable little facts to work over! I’d been isolated in hospital aged 2 for a number of weeks! It was back in 1947 before John Bowlby’s revelation of the profound psychological effects of maternal deprivation on young children.

But the rest of the time was focused on me! What I thought things meant and what I did, or didn’t do! Feeling and doing! Being in touch with my feelings and doing something about them! And while all this activity seemed to be “about me”, the constant injunction was “It’s not all about you, Martyn”!

Now, about 3 months out from the end of therapy and as I close the book “The Talking Cure”, I am really wondering what happened! This book has helped me understand! As a patient I was totally swallowed up in my own problems but as a reader I can see the dilemmas facing any therapist actively helping someone just by listening and talking! How to support, reflect, confront and enable thoughts and ideas to find their way into the client’s consciousness without crushing, scaring, hurting or driving them away!

As is to be expected one particular story of these eight concocted patients is now mightily annotated, highlighted, underlined, read and re-read in my copy of the book. The rest I read with interest and enjoyment!

After reading the book I see most clearly why psychotherapy is hard work for the therapist! I knew it was hard work for the patient of course, about one month into my own ‘skin in the game’ experience.

Would the average punter enjoy this book too? I’m sure that you would! Sanity is no bar to enjoyment. In fact it might even be an advantage.












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[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a therapist myself, I was hoping for a book that would talk honestly about what it's like to be a therapist. Instead, this book had some interesting tidbits in amongst a lot of psychobabble. It bothered me that instead of talking about actual clients with all identifying details changed, the authors jumbled together bits of their experiences with various clients in order to make a new client "character." As a trained couples therapist, stories of two women whose husbands had had affairs disturbed me because the authors seemed to expect that the clients would immediately let go of their anger and be willing to examine how they themselves might have contributed to the affairs. This is victim-blaming. While both partners contribute to whatever the "weather system" of a a relationship is (sunny, cloudy, rainy, etc.), the betraying partner could still have made a number of different choices other than to have an affair. Once the betraying partner takes 100% responsibility for the affair, both partners can learn from it and work together to build marriage #2.

[Brooklyn Tayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review copy provided by the Publisher, Pan Macmillan Australia, in exchange for an honest review, all thoughts are my own.
This was such a fascinating, thought provoking read! I was instantly drawn in to both the authors’ perspective, as well as the patient’s.
There were so many fascinaying character and case studies, such as the first patient, Meredith, who was struggling with her younger daughter’s temper tantrums, which were affecting not only her mentality, but also causing slight fractures in her marriage, with her husband berating their daughter for her childish antics. So yes, you could definitely say that from the first study, I was definitely feeling sympathy and sorry for the patients. We also had a couple of stories from patients where, in their parents eyes, they felt inadequate, and that had definitely transferred over to their adult life, even making them question their self worth in adult life and relationships.
Furthermore, it struck me as fascinating that I was able to see glimmers of myself, even scenarios featuring people I know, in these situations that were outlined in this book. I definitely think the authors did an amazing job, bringing these stories across the page, even though the people and discussions were in an essence, fictional, of course they were based upon truth, identities naturally hidden to preserve patient confidentiality.
I throughly enjoyed the structure of this book too, rather than just having everything presented as a long narrative, each person’s case study is initially presented before us, then we have sub sections I suppose, about a certain factor that may contribute to the person feeling how they are, perhaps followed by a second or third instance, and then several checklists about what is best to be done if the reader sees themselves reflected in these case studies, as well as the outcomes regarding the person’s mental health or even social situations which can be affected, as well as personal bonds being fractured, such as feeling inadequate in other people’s eyes.
As I was reading, I could clearly tell how not only the patients’ were affected by this book, but also the psychotherapists- they too, had to carefully monitor not only their patients, and of course they were affected by what was being confided to them, I mean, who wouldn’t be? I, as a reader and here as a reviewer, definitely only have the highest praise for both these medical professionals and just admire how they were able to get to the core of everything that had been bringing their patients close to breaking point, all whilst maintaining their professional demeanour, and not even once breaking composure! Definitely not something I could’ve done!
All in all, a highly profound and thought provoking read! I definitely recommend to everyone!

[Jenny]

This was fascinating and easy to read.

[Lyndsay Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can highly highly recommend this brilliant book, 'The Talking Cure' by relational psychotherapists, Professor Gillian Straker and Dr Jacqui Winship, who trained and worked in South Africa and are currently working in Sydney, Australia. Straker and Winship have created one therapist persona (seemingly a fusion of the two authors) and then, using their decades of experience, they have 'constructed' nine therapy clients/patients with full and authentic stories. In each of the nine chapters, the 'therapist' takes us into 'her' therapy room, in real time, and allows us to be a 'fly on the wall', where she works deeply in her relationships with each of these nine clients/patients, helping them to transform and shift powerful current personal and relational troubles in their own worlds. I especially loved the extracts of direct speech between therapist and patient. Each of these fictional 'patients' has their own chapter. The patients' issues are obviously chosen by the authors to cover nine major issues of our time, such as the need some of us have to keep others happy - even at our own expense, and difficult relationships with our parents and our own children, our friends and our colleagues. Long ago I trained as a psychologist/therapist and I have been in long term therapy and, while reading this book, I recognised myself (or parts of myself) in most of the 'patients' which gave me cause to reflect intensely again on some of my unresolved issues. The book is really accessible and useful to people who aren't trained in psychology though, maybe people who are thinking about going into therapy or who have had some counselling or who are reflective and engaged with their own inner worlds. There are sections at the end of each chapter to guide people to do this kind of reflection. Definitely this book would hugely benefit anyone training to be a therapist or a psychologist or a psychiatrist. It is easy to read with lots of modern, cultural references such as to the film and book characters in 'Fifty Shades of Grey', 'The Sopranos', 'Love Story' etc etc. I also found Straker and Winship's writing about the impact of social media on our identity and relationships engaging and thought-provoking. I ordered this book online through the Pan Macmillan site but I have also seen it for sale in bookshops here in Sydney. My husband has downloaded it and is listening to the authors narrate the book on audible books. I am guessing it is probably available as an e-book for kindle readers too.

[Gaetano Venezia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some Talking Cures: Normal *Stories, Common Struggles, and Idealized Psychoanalytic Insight
For those initiated into psychoanalysis through practice or theory, The Talking Cure provides some very approachable and useful "case"* studies. For the wider public, I could imagine the book feels underdeveloped and overly idiosyncratic. The introduction provides some useful, orienting theory. But the conclusion does little to tie the cases together or explain why the theory leads to the specific resolutions in the case studies. The writing style and methodology made intuitive sense to me, but perhaps that's because I've done background reading on psychoanalysis and listened to many of Straker's podcasts which use a similar format (Three Associating). For better or worse, this book mostly feels like a long-form version of the podcast.

*While I enjoy the case studies and the therapists' insights, I do have a suspicion that Straker et al.'s methodology in the book and podcast are subject to a selection bias of retroactive coherence. The case studies are never of specific actual patients. Instead, they are composite stories created from various actual patients. This means that the therapists can create more narrative and treatment coherence than might actually exist.

Like philosophical thought experiments abstracting away the importance of context and particulars, I worry that Straker et al. are obscuring the complications of reality. There may be ways that therapy does not or cannot help patients. But there's no room in the created narratives for this complexity.

It's even hard to criticize specific cases, because we don't have access to the real people or data for cross-referencing against the therapists' professed outcomes and insights. I could easily see these composite patients as characters in a parable or a fictional story and still get insight from their treatment—so perhaps framing the "case" studies differently would help the reader interpret them with a more critical lens.

[Nic · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was quite different from what I expected. I LOVE the topic of psychology, and I’m a big believer in therapy and talking through your problems. The case studies (well, fictional case studies based on a combination of their real life cases) were the most “common” cases encountered in the field of relational therapy. For example, the woman who only seemed to be attracted to controlling men, or the mother who was unsure how to manage her teenage daughter’s self-harming. For this reason, this book read more like a psychology textbook for those studying to be a psychotherapist, going over common problems one would encounter in this line of work.

I also found it really interesting to get an insight into the mind of the therapist. What do they think when different patients come in? How do they decide what is or isn’t appropriate to say to them? These questions are answered as we view the case studies through the eyes of the psychotherapist.

At the end of each chapter, a checklist is given of all the character traits inherent in this particular issue, and the reader is expected to find parts of themselves in each case study. I found this super interesting, because there were some issues that I could really relate to, and it gives you some helpful tips on how to manage the problem if you’re feeling similar emotions.

It was an interesting and informative read for me, because I love this topic so much, but I’d probably only recommend it to others who are also big fans of psychology and want to further their reading on the topic.

Thanks to Pan Macmillan for my copy in exchange for an honest review :)

[Tim G · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an insightful and thought-provoking book about the power of psychotherapy. Leveraging her extensive experience as a psychotherapist, the author offers a comprehensive overview of the history, theory, and practice of psychotherapy, whilst providing a personal perspective on the transformative nature of the therapeutic process.

The book covers a wide range of topics, including the different types of therapy, the role of the therapist, the therapeutic relationship, and the process of change. Throughout the book, Straker emphasised the importance of empathy, curiosity, and authenticity in the therapeutic relationship, and offers practical advice.
A standout was the book’s accessibility as the author used clear, concise language and real-world examples to explain complex concepts. Strengthened through excellent writing, The Talking Cure is an excellent resource.
Some standout highlights
To bend over backwards to be politically correct in a false attempt to absorb difference without exploring its meaning.
Take courage from the fact that we are all hardwired to feel some degree of shame.
There is a biased towards depicting, the joyful and the beautiful moments on social media. An attempt to appear perfect in every way usually comes at the cost of authenticity.

[Mathew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Informative book that’s easy to read, broken down into chapters that are individual case studies that link together and also stand alone.

The stories are based on real patients with names changed (obviously) and their circumstances and experiences might be taken from one patient or many to create case studies that highlight common psychological issues and potential treatment of those issues. It also does a really good job of showing how a psychologist works to get an understanding of the individual to help them communicate their issues and how they work to make the process as much about self discovery as possible. One of the dangers in writing a book like this, and ensuring it is taken seriously is to not make it seem voyeuristic. My view is that the writers do a good job of keeping the content interesting without making it feel cheesy like reality TV.

[Giovanna Walker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting read, breaking down the patients situation was good. To hear from the therapists point of view also was interesting. I know the patients are constructs, I did struggle with from time to time, ie how much of it is real, but I had to let that go to get the most out of it. I also like the fact that it has reader notes at the end of each chapter. Try not to diagnose yourself with everything tho!!

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Straker and Winship combine their extensive experience as psychotherapists to present a range of relatable 'case stories' (as opposed to case studies).

I enjoyed this book from a therapy-practice point-of-view, however, although the authors are eloquent, they did not offer the pithy insights that I found in books such Lori Gottleib's Maybe You Should Talk to Someone , or the warmth of Cheryl Strayed's Tiny Beautiful Things.

If you are curious about therapy (particularly relational psychotherapy, where the therapist-patient relationship is used to understand more about the patient's troubles) this would be a good place to start. As the authors note, if you don't see yourself in some of their stories, they have failed in their intention for the book. The stories are relatable (if not a little contrived), and the checklists and 'what can I do?' sections at the end of each chapter are very useful and would actually provide enough prompts for many people to make some constructive changes in their relationships.

3/5

[Brodie · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting, personalised look into journeys through therapy that got me thinking a lot about my own upbringing and how it has affected me psychologically.

Extremely helpful in crafting the psychology of fictional characters, which was the original reason I read this book (insight into myself was an added bonus). I now feel I have a much greater understanding of my main character and what precisely makes him tick, so thank you for that.

[Miranda Fagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very useful, fascinating book for practitioners, written with non-pretentious accessibility. What I liked most was the authors demonstrating the process or establishing links between seeminly baffling behaviours and client histories to make sense of what was going on.

[Alice Watson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting read, helpful for a little insight into yourself.

[Jenni Avidon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written insight of a therapists journey with clients. I have no doubt that the authors passion about what they do will enthuse the reader to explore therapy.

[Selena (Fae✨inmysparetime) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful and useful. Recommend for all therapists looking to sharpen and deepen their tools.

[Sami · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good book for any wannabe or currently practicing psychologist.

[Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

if you feel like prompting some therapy-adjacent introspection without actually having to go to therapy, this one’s for you

[Cal O'Mara-Goss · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting

[Sean Murray · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was excellent. We are all in this book

[Ariella Leaffer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book for therapists, really focusing on countertransference. I can imagine many non-therapists appreciating it as well.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful overview of psychoanalysis from a therapist’s viewpoint. Great tips for identifying patterns in yourself that may have stemmed from childhood, with realistic steps to take if wanting to address these issues.
Love the exploration of transference and countertransference

[Daria Williamson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating insights, illuminating case stories, and a brilliant way to learn more about the process of therapy, and common human challenges.

Spoiler alert: you are not alone - millions of other people are going through whatever it is that you are facing, what you're feeling is most likely entirely normal, and it can help to talk to someone who is not emotionally connected to the situation you're facing.

[Patrick · Rating 4 out of 5]

This text is an excellent collection of clinical vignettes that would serve well for any introductory psychotherapy course. Given its leanings in foundational psychodynamic and analytical psychology work, fantastic for insight oriented training programs.