One Trusted Adult: How to Build Strong Connections & Healthy Boundaries with Young People

by Brooklyn Raney

In a world facing more shootings, suicides, substance abuse, and sexual violence than ever before, there is more that we can do as educators, as parents, and as adults committed to leaving this world better than we found it.

Research shows that just one trusted adult can have a profound effect on a child’s life, influencing that young person toward positive growth, greater engagement in school and community activities, better overall health, and prevention of risky and threatening behaviors.

From educators to piano teachers, camp counselors to aunts and uncles, and athletic coaches to babysitters, every adult who encounters a young person holds the privilege of shaping that child’s life—and also the significant responsibility. With news headlines dominated by stories of abuse in schools, camps, and churches, those of us who guide or mentor adolescents must understand how to build trust with young people while simultaneously establishing boundaries that keep the relationship healthy.

In clear, accessible terms, One Trusted Adult lays out:

Genres: Education, Nonfiction, Parenting

259 pages, Paperback

Published October 1, 2019

About the author

Brooklyn Raney is an experienced teacher, coach, and administrator who has spent the last decade in independent schools. In her free time, she loves to hike, cross-country ski, snowshoe, and travel. Nothing, however, makes her happier than working with youth. She is the founder and director of the Girls' Leadership Camp, a group that hosts a one-week summer camp for middle school girls, as well as one-day boosts and leadership conferences. She is also a co-founder of Generation Change, a nonprofit that seeks to embolden youth to be empathic and compassionate change makers through cross-generational mentorship.

Brooklyn is a workshop facilitator, speaker, and consultant for schools, camps, and other youth-serving organizations nationally and internationally. She customizes leadership and life skills curricula for schools and organizations, facilitates professional development sessions, and provides one-on-one coaching for adults on building healthy boundaries.

As a former elite-level athlete at Colgate University and an MA graduate in Educational Theater from NYU, Brooklyn reaches a wide audience with her unique energy, interactive approach, storytelling, and humor. She resides on Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire with her husband, son, and two dogs.

Reviews

[Heidi Parenti · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great little book for anyone who works with young people. I will keep coming back to it when I need a dose of motivation and a reminder of how I can do my job better.

[Rebecca N · Rating 4 out of 5]

Straightforward, useful, and readable. If you work with young people, this should be required reading! Lots of great examples, combined with research and creative ideas. I like the section on the culture of feedback and the suggestions of how to bring that into your organization. I think the biggest takeaway for me was not to underestimate the value of the hidden curriculum- the powerful lessons you can teach young people that help prepare them for life.

[Ali · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent resource for mentors or aspiring mentors. It does have a few limitations in that it seems to focus mostly on people working with teens rather than children of all ages - young kids can be mentored too! - and I don't always agree with her methods, particularly natural consequences. That can be a slippery slope of avoiding having difficult conversations with kids and just handing them off to face natural consequences, but other than that, I thought it was a great resource.

[La-Shanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

"One Trusted Adult" is appropriate for parents, teachers and anyone one who interacts with children. The book focuses on establishing boundaries, setting realistic expectations, and supporting children without judgement or being punitive. Hats off to the author Brooklyn Raney for sharing her own stories about being a trusted adult.

[KimikoM · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick, direct, easy read. Incredibly informative for anyone who works with children, in any capacity. An educator must-read in my opinion. Not too dense. Coaches, camp directors, older student staff, anyone who is leading youth should read this, applicable to any group of kids’ ages, but mostly aimed at middle of upper school experiences.

[Michaelann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brooklyn is remarkable and this text is an excellent exploration into how to care for teenagers better. Huge fan. Recommending my entire workplace to read it. Her section on boundaries was particularly apropros.

[Ryan Bessey · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good read for any teacher. Read as follow up from PD session our school ran. Lots of little things and a positive reminder of the differences we make in the lives of our children/students. A good read for both rookie and veteran teachers.

[Juliette Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick and meaningful read for teachers of students of all ages. Unlike most books like this one that I find boring and repetitive, this text seamlessly intertwined stories and advice to create a lesson of love and positive relationships.

[Valerie Cetrulo Murken · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential reading for adults working with teens and tweens. A lot of the advice seems “obvious” but is helpful to have it outlined in one place. Relatable and concrete anecdotes help demonstrate how to put the strategies into practice

[Jack · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical

[Brooke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book read with school

[Gretchen · Rating 2 out of 5]

An all-school read. Feels scattershot, jumping from idea to idea somewhat unpredictably, and thin on new wisdom.

[k$ · Rating 4 out of 5]

lawl took my time w this one. had other reads going on

overall, solid read

[Katrina · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book is a good reminder of creating positive relationships with students. I found nothing new and profound but found much of the material to be good reflective points.

[Katharine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book about adults that children and teenagers can not only trust to do the right thing but to have someone to go to both for advice and a safe person to discuss anything and everything about. This text should be read and studied by all adults not only professionals dealing with children in their daily work life but every person. It should be a mandatory read for everyone!!! Some parts are more geared to the school system but for the most part it aims at all adults. A must read.