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Filthy Beasts: A Memoir
Running with Scissors meets Grey Gardens in this gripping, true riches-to-rags tale of a wealthy family who lost it all and the unforgettable journey of a man coming to terms with his family’s deep flaws and his own long-buried truths.
“Wake up, you filthy beasts!” Wendy Hamill would shout to her children in the mornings before school. Startled from their dreams, Kirk and his two brothers couldn’t help but wonder—would they find enough food in the house for breakfast?
Following a rancorous split from New York’s upper-class society, newly divorced Wendy and her three sons are exiled from the East Coast elite circle. Wendy’s middle son, Kirk, is eight when she moves the family to her native Bermuda, leaving the three young boys to fend for themselves as she chases after the highs of her old life: alcohol, a wealthy new suitor, and other indulgences.
After eventually leaving his mother’s dysfunctional orbit for college in New Orleans, Kirk begins to realize how different his family and upbringing is from that of his friends and peers. Split between extreme privilege—early years living in luxury on his family’s private compound—and bare survival—rationing food and water during the height of his mother’s alcoholism—Kirk is used to keeping up appearances and burying his inconvenient truths from the world, until he’s eighteen and falls in love for the first time.
A fascinating window into the life of extreme privilege and a powerful story of self-acceptance, Filthy Beasts recounts Kirk’s unforgettable journey through luxury hotels and charity stores, private enclaves and public shame as he confronts his family’s many imperfections, accepts his unconventional childhood, and finally comes to terms with his own hidden secrets.
“Wake up, you filthy beasts!” Wendy Hamill would shout to her children in the mornings before school. Startled from their dreams, Kirk and his two brothers couldn’t help but wonder—would they find enough food in the house for breakfast?
Following a rancorous split from New York’s upper-class society, newly divorced Wendy and her three sons are exiled from the East Coast elite circle. Wendy’s middle son, Kirk, is eight when she moves the family to her native Bermuda, leaving the three young boys to fend for themselves as she chases after the highs of her old life: alcohol, a wealthy new suitor, and other indulgences.
After eventually leaving his mother’s dysfunctional orbit for college in New Orleans, Kirk begins to realize how different his family and upbringing is from that of his friends and peers. Split between extreme privilege—early years living in luxury on his family’s private compound—and bare survival—rationing food and water during the height of his mother’s alcoholism—Kirk is used to keeping up appearances and burying his inconvenient truths from the world, until he’s eighteen and falls in love for the first time.
A fascinating window into the life of extreme privilege and a powerful story of self-acceptance, Filthy Beasts recounts Kirk’s unforgettable journey through luxury hotels and charity stores, private enclaves and public shame as he confronts his family’s many imperfections, accepts his unconventional childhood, and finally comes to terms with his own hidden secrets.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published July 14, 2020
215 people are currently reading
2692 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 128 reviews
August 28, 2020
Audiobook... read by the author Kirkland Hamill
I enjoyed this book. The writing was beautiful with such gorgeous descriptions - I felt like I was always with Hamill in every scene. ....(summer days on the yacht was sure fun for this sheltering-in-place reader)...
The story reads like a novel—yet its a memoir.
It had that tragic comic movie-cinematography experience.
A middle child, Hamill had a younger and older brother.
They were born into ultra wealth.
After the parents quick lustful
vacation-meeting-romance marriage—in Bermuda— they settled in New York.
When the ‘filthy Beasts’ ( the three brothers), were in their teen years, their mother, took them back to Bermuda to live... leaving behind their rich-privileged-posh life ... as well as the alcoholic father/husband.... but was she, Wendy, was also an alcoholic herself. A spiral downhill life begins.
Alcoholism ran rampant in the family.... but Hamill wrote his memoir- seamlessly—with humorous/ heartfelt/heartbreak enjoyable stories.
I got swept away Hamill’s life - highs and lows -
I loved Hamill’s dry witty personality- his deep passion for his mother ( especially when he was younger)...
meeting his friends- and following his chaotic roller coaster life.
Very engaging audiobook.
I literally got swept away with Hamill’s life.
From filthy rich ( it was fun to fantasize some of those luxury aspects) to poverty, ‘coming-out’ in his 30’s as being gay, surviving addictions, child abandonment and abuse, betrayal, repercussions and emptiness that came with wealth, divorce, sexual identity, ....and more ‘falling apart’ for each of the ‘filthy beasts’.....(sometimes felt like a train wreck) .....
I can’t just say....
“Oh this is simply another one of ‘those’ stories”—as sarcasm might have it about another dysfunctional family—
That would be like saying all earthquakes are the same - every hurricane is the same - every murder is the same - every life is the same.....
Hamill’s ‘own’ uniqueness- his own pain, his own discoveries, his kind disposition, his funny bone, his understandings about the conditions of life, the many complexities —his insights —somehow made for a very moving fulfilling memoir-audio-experience.
I enjoyed this book. The writing was beautiful with such gorgeous descriptions - I felt like I was always with Hamill in every scene. ....(summer days on the yacht was sure fun for this sheltering-in-place reader)...
The story reads like a novel—yet its a memoir.
It had that tragic comic movie-cinematography experience.
A middle child, Hamill had a younger and older brother.
They were born into ultra wealth.
After the parents quick lustful
vacation-meeting-romance marriage—in Bermuda— they settled in New York.
When the ‘filthy Beasts’ ( the three brothers), were in their teen years, their mother, took them back to Bermuda to live... leaving behind their rich-privileged-posh life ... as well as the alcoholic father/husband.... but was she, Wendy, was also an alcoholic herself. A spiral downhill life begins.
Alcoholism ran rampant in the family.... but Hamill wrote his memoir- seamlessly—with humorous/ heartfelt/heartbreak enjoyable stories.
I got swept away Hamill’s life - highs and lows -
I loved Hamill’s dry witty personality- his deep passion for his mother ( especially when he was younger)...
meeting his friends- and following his chaotic roller coaster life.
Very engaging audiobook.
I literally got swept away with Hamill’s life.
From filthy rich ( it was fun to fantasize some of those luxury aspects) to poverty, ‘coming-out’ in his 30’s as being gay, surviving addictions, child abandonment and abuse, betrayal, repercussions and emptiness that came with wealth, divorce, sexual identity, ....and more ‘falling apart’ for each of the ‘filthy beasts’.....(sometimes felt like a train wreck) .....
I can’t just say....
“Oh this is simply another one of ‘those’ stories”—as sarcasm might have it about another dysfunctional family—
That would be like saying all earthquakes are the same - every hurricane is the same - every murder is the same - every life is the same.....
Hamill’s ‘own’ uniqueness- his own pain, his own discoveries, his kind disposition, his funny bone, his understandings about the conditions of life, the many complexities —his insights —somehow made for a very moving fulfilling memoir-audio-experience.
May 8, 2020
I loved this book! Hamill was so open in this book which really gave me a filterless look at his life from his point of view. Many of us deal with addiction in our families, and that experience can be difficult to put into words. There can often be this expectation that family members are either left totally broken from their childhood or that they spend every minute trying to help their family member with addiction when it’s often a combination of the two. I also loved reading about his brothers. I am very close with my brother and without spoilers, there were a couple moments that nearly broke my heart. I was also fortunate enough to be born at a time when I don’t witness nearly as much homophobia as the author did. Reading about his initial denial was so fascinating to me. I love a book that teaches me more and more about people, and this book really left me thinking. I will certainly be passing this book around my family!
November 2, 2020
I was super disappointed by this one. The story was one we have all read many, many times (absent, addicted parents) with a bit of poor little rich boy thrown in. I felt like the author thought he was being rather droll and dryly funny in his prose but it came across as caustic and mean-spirited. It was really a story of a bunch of sad, angry people living in misery. I don't understand how he got a book deal to write this. No one was likable, it wasn't funny, relatable or even interesting. A dark hole of a memoir.
June 14, 2020
Maybe I've read too many of these "I survived and thrived" memoirs, but I didn't find this one as compelling as others in the genre. What I found interesting was day to day life in Bermuda, which I, like most previous visitors, remember for unending beautiful weather, smells, tennis courts and madras.
April 25, 2020
Here's my thing about memoirs - I'm only drawn to ones that leave you saying, "wow, that was messed up." Kirkland Hamill's Filthy Beasts is presented as Running with Scissors meets Grey Gardens, which is, IMHO, the perfect sweet spot. Hamill was born into extreme wealth with two very interesting parents - his father who squandered the family money, and his mother, a beautiful, emotionally abusive alcoholic who moved the boys to her native Bermuda and wears sunglasses indoors.
I read this book in one shot and highly enjoyed it. Hamill tells stories from his childhood with a darkly comedic lens, which is probably the result of years of trauma. The depravity of rich people never ceases to amaze me!
I loved how his relationship with his mother and his brothers evolved over the years - how his emotions flow from hate to love to resentment and back again so quickly, and so freely. Throughout the book, Hamill grapples with his self identity and sexuality while trying to navigate his place in his own family.
4 stars from me! Note that this book can be very triggering and contains depictions of alcoholism and abuse (both physical and verbal). Thank you to Avid Reader Press/Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
I read this book in one shot and highly enjoyed it. Hamill tells stories from his childhood with a darkly comedic lens, which is probably the result of years of trauma. The depravity of rich people never ceases to amaze me!
I loved how his relationship with his mother and his brothers evolved over the years - how his emotions flow from hate to love to resentment and back again so quickly, and so freely. Throughout the book, Hamill grapples with his self identity and sexuality while trying to navigate his place in his own family.
4 stars from me! Note that this book can be very triggering and contains depictions of alcoholism and abuse (both physical and verbal). Thank you to Avid Reader Press/Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for the advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
July 19, 2020
Thank you Avid Reader Press for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I enjoyed this memoir. While some may say it's just another "I survived an alcoholic parent and survived", I believe it is much more than that. Kirkland shared how he grew up with two brothers and how each of them took much different roads in the future with how their parents shaped their lives.
Much for than a "I survived and thrived" memoir. It's more of a self discovery while learning to love yourself despite the hand you've been dealt memoir. From a parental divorce, to moving to Bermuda and dealing with an absent and alcoholic parent, to escaping back to the US for schooling, Kirkland's memoir shows that it is okay to take a path away from your family while still remaining in the picture when family needs you.
I enjoyed this memoir. While some may say it's just another "I survived an alcoholic parent and survived", I believe it is much more than that. Kirkland shared how he grew up with two brothers and how each of them took much different roads in the future with how their parents shaped their lives.
Much for than a "I survived and thrived" memoir. It's more of a self discovery while learning to love yourself despite the hand you've been dealt memoir. From a parental divorce, to moving to Bermuda and dealing with an absent and alcoholic parent, to escaping back to the US for schooling, Kirkland's memoir shows that it is okay to take a path away from your family while still remaining in the picture when family needs you.
May 15, 2020
via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog.wordpress.com/
𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒔𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒂 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈.
Kirkland Hamill was born to old money, and the elitist snobbery that comes with it. His father’s family has “secured a seemingly permanent foothold in society’s upper echelons”, living in a family compound, owning Park Avenue apartments, second homes. His father’s relatives with their superior blood are always looking down upon the rest of the world especially those who cater to them, but how is a child to live when there is a fracture in his parent’s marriage and he is meant to navigate his mother’s native Bermuda? Born to a working class family, his beautiful mother married up, her origins a thing that was never discussed, as if the very words “working class” are shameful and tasteless. His mother’s life and family remain a mystery until he is plunged into her past.
When his father purchases and moves the family to Sky Step Farm in Clinton, Kirkland’s mother is forced out of the New York social set and flounders around the high society of the ‘quaint’ town. She isn’t the only family member unable to adjust to the drastic change, Kirkland may succeed at school (a clever boy) but he hasn’t any friends and home isn’t any better. The spark is gone, along with the laughter. Too, Kirklands longs for his Jamaican Nanny (his second love, more mother than his own). His siblings, older brother Robin and the youngest Monty aren’t much company, brothers differing in ages and temperaments orbiting their own worlds. Monty, mostly ignored and unwanted by his big brothers and the eldest Robin mean or disinterested. The distance between the siblings grows wider through the years, as they try to escape the dysfunction of their parents.
Their life of privilege disintegrates when they touch ground in Bermuda, feeling like exiles, uprooted from their father. Despite living in a pretty home and attending private school, they are now living beneath the means they were born to. Water for bathing and drinking no longer an endless stream from a tap, their life becomes one of conservation. The beauty and kindness of the natives is a salve, despite racial tension, Bermuda feels far more welcoming than the home they left but inside the family there is dissension. With their mother full circle, back around the family she thought she had escaped, she tries to cling to the vestiges of wealth and privilege she has grown accustomed to in their former life. The stink of unhappiness and disappointment clings to her, no longer the self contained society wife she is unfiltered, a more bitter yet freer version of herself.
Kirkland’s father creates a new life, minus his boys and ex-wife, with another woman. Now that his father is remarried , Kirkland spends time between his father’s horse farm and Bermuda. With Barb (stepmother) on the scene, there is a new dynamic in place, too time spent with his father is a plunge back into ‘the collective family organism’. His dad is as distant as ever, a wound for any boy looking for affection and guidance, giving birth to a conflicted self.
Back home it’s enthusiastic morning screams of, “Wake up, you filthy beasts!” and “It’s time to face the beauty of a brand-new day.” Despite days spent on the beach, there isn’t enough sunshine to staunch their mother’s enormous depression, nor keep her from sinking into her drinking. Dysfunction that in fiction should bond brothers together in real life only pushes them further apart as it’s every man (or boy) for himself. The consequences of her decline and their father’s fickle attention leads to a lifelong struggle for Kirkland, Robin and Monty.
The truth about poverty is, there are many versions. Pain is pain is pain and certainly it’s a harder struggle coming of age dirt poor, hungry, homeless or abused but certainly it’s no picnic living with any parent who is in a ‘self-imposed exile’ and in a fragile state of mind. There are many poor children who have very present, loving parents- but a lack of love and attention can be a different type of poverty. It truly eats away at the mind, self-esteem. A child of any circumstance, more than fanciful things, longs for love, guidance, structure and acceptance. What a parent can do to their children’s head-space is a powerful thing, there isn’t enough money in the world to fix rejection. How hard is it to escape turning into them, thinking and speaking like they do? A bad childhood, needy self-centered parents can remain with a man or woman to the end of their lives. It’s a bitter seed to swallow, a parent’s neglect. We have a tendency to look at those dandy, “story book perfect” families with envy, never imagining how cold things are backstage.
If only the brothers could have been a support system for one another, maybe things could have been different. I felt so awful for little Monty. I wondered about what his memoir would reveal if he wrote one, because we all live a different story in the same home. This memoir speaks of the struggles of Kirkland- a conflicted, lonely little boy who comes of age and learns to crawl out of the wreckage of his parent’s marriage and their unraveling. It’s not pretty, but it’s honest. I enjoyed it.
Publication Date: July 14, 2020
Avid Reader Press/ Simon & Schuster
𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒔𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒂 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈.
Kirkland Hamill was born to old money, and the elitist snobbery that comes with it. His father’s family has “secured a seemingly permanent foothold in society’s upper echelons”, living in a family compound, owning Park Avenue apartments, second homes. His father’s relatives with their superior blood are always looking down upon the rest of the world especially those who cater to them, but how is a child to live when there is a fracture in his parent’s marriage and he is meant to navigate his mother’s native Bermuda? Born to a working class family, his beautiful mother married up, her origins a thing that was never discussed, as if the very words “working class” are shameful and tasteless. His mother’s life and family remain a mystery until he is plunged into her past.
When his father purchases and moves the family to Sky Step Farm in Clinton, Kirkland’s mother is forced out of the New York social set and flounders around the high society of the ‘quaint’ town. She isn’t the only family member unable to adjust to the drastic change, Kirkland may succeed at school (a clever boy) but he hasn’t any friends and home isn’t any better. The spark is gone, along with the laughter. Too, Kirklands longs for his Jamaican Nanny (his second love, more mother than his own). His siblings, older brother Robin and the youngest Monty aren’t much company, brothers differing in ages and temperaments orbiting their own worlds. Monty, mostly ignored and unwanted by his big brothers and the eldest Robin mean or disinterested. The distance between the siblings grows wider through the years, as they try to escape the dysfunction of their parents.
Their life of privilege disintegrates when they touch ground in Bermuda, feeling like exiles, uprooted from their father. Despite living in a pretty home and attending private school, they are now living beneath the means they were born to. Water for bathing and drinking no longer an endless stream from a tap, their life becomes one of conservation. The beauty and kindness of the natives is a salve, despite racial tension, Bermuda feels far more welcoming than the home they left but inside the family there is dissension. With their mother full circle, back around the family she thought she had escaped, she tries to cling to the vestiges of wealth and privilege she has grown accustomed to in their former life. The stink of unhappiness and disappointment clings to her, no longer the self contained society wife she is unfiltered, a more bitter yet freer version of herself.
Kirkland’s father creates a new life, minus his boys and ex-wife, with another woman. Now that his father is remarried , Kirkland spends time between his father’s horse farm and Bermuda. With Barb (stepmother) on the scene, there is a new dynamic in place, too time spent with his father is a plunge back into ‘the collective family organism’. His dad is as distant as ever, a wound for any boy looking for affection and guidance, giving birth to a conflicted self.
Back home it’s enthusiastic morning screams of, “Wake up, you filthy beasts!” and “It’s time to face the beauty of a brand-new day.” Despite days spent on the beach, there isn’t enough sunshine to staunch their mother’s enormous depression, nor keep her from sinking into her drinking. Dysfunction that in fiction should bond brothers together in real life only pushes them further apart as it’s every man (or boy) for himself. The consequences of her decline and their father’s fickle attention leads to a lifelong struggle for Kirkland, Robin and Monty.
The truth about poverty is, there are many versions. Pain is pain is pain and certainly it’s a harder struggle coming of age dirt poor, hungry, homeless or abused but certainly it’s no picnic living with any parent who is in a ‘self-imposed exile’ and in a fragile state of mind. There are many poor children who have very present, loving parents- but a lack of love and attention can be a different type of poverty. It truly eats away at the mind, self-esteem. A child of any circumstance, more than fanciful things, longs for love, guidance, structure and acceptance. What a parent can do to their children’s head-space is a powerful thing, there isn’t enough money in the world to fix rejection. How hard is it to escape turning into them, thinking and speaking like they do? A bad childhood, needy self-centered parents can remain with a man or woman to the end of their lives. It’s a bitter seed to swallow, a parent’s neglect. We have a tendency to look at those dandy, “story book perfect” families with envy, never imagining how cold things are backstage.
If only the brothers could have been a support system for one another, maybe things could have been different. I felt so awful for little Monty. I wondered about what his memoir would reveal if he wrote one, because we all live a different story in the same home. This memoir speaks of the struggles of Kirkland- a conflicted, lonely little boy who comes of age and learns to crawl out of the wreckage of his parent’s marriage and their unraveling. It’s not pretty, but it’s honest. I enjoyed it.
Publication Date: July 14, 2020
Avid Reader Press/ Simon & Schuster
July 31, 2020
This book starts out being really quirky and funny. By the time it ends, it is desperately sad.
July 7, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an advance copy of this memoir (to be published in July). I was hooked immediately, reading about the author's experiences growing up with his brothers on the "family compound" in upper-class New York and then later in Bermuda following his parents' divorce. The author juxtaposes the wealth and selfishness of his parents with the poverty and neglect that he and his brothers endure. Although the book is tragic at times, it is laugh out-loud funny at others with the descriptions of "Froggy" the ugly but wealthy stepdad, the French speaking grandmother, and OMG, the Winnie the Pooh scene! I highly recommend the book especially if you love the memoir genre as I do!
July 22, 2020
I LOVED this book. I love memoirs, and this is one of my favorites. The author has an ingenious way of making batshit crazy not only relatable but meaningful. He doesn't go for the easy laugh. He wants you to feel the joy and the pain in equal measure. I laughed out loud. And I cried. I closed the book drained, and yet with a full heart. I can't recommend this book highly enough. For me, it ranks up there with my favorites in the genre - The Glass Castle, The Liars' Club, and Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight: An African Childhood. You need to put this on your To Read list.
July 3, 2020
Filthy Beasts by Kirkland Hamill
What an amazing novel for a debut author! Such an insightful, emotional, and gripping read! The book opened wounds in my own heart that I thought I had closed, but I suppose the damage parents inflict upon their children last a lifetime ingrained in their psyche!
Kirklands life being raised in a wealthy society where he wanted for nothing and then all of a sudden to be thrust into near poverty had to have been a shock! Three small children are thrust into taking care of themselves and their mother and they live in a new foreign country!
Becoming aware that your parents are not the typical Leave it to Beaver Cleaver family and that there friends are not exactly even stable either didn’t exactly help the author nor his brothers have a normal upbringing! His mother usually had a drink and withdrew from her children and from life.
I had a alcoholic father who was emotionally and physically abusive not only to my mother, but to my siblings and myself! We each suffered our own personal hell and life is not easy and we grew up dirt poor because even before my dad eventually finally left for good, he never kept a job for long. We all had jobs and I know my first side job was at age 12 doing gardening, but my first job that was recorded for social security was at age 14, I was a popcorn girl at a local drive in theatre!
The author at least had financial support to a degree and was able to attend college. However, to also see his mother decline into a bottle of alcohol and his father as well was no picnic!
I felt the emotional pain for the author as he told about his discovery of his sexuality while trying to maintain a semblance of balance between his dysfunctional brothers! His parents had crazy relationships with others and the kids were dragged right into the fray!
The book is about self discovery and trying to minimize the conflict and confusion that your parents and family put upon you when you don’t know how to combat it or deflect it!
I recommend this book for anyone & everyone who has ever had a dysfunctional life relationship whether it was your own or a family member or a personal friend!! This book just helps you to see the hurt, confusion and pain!
I received this advanced copy from netgally and willingly give my words and opinions!
What an amazing novel for a debut author! Such an insightful, emotional, and gripping read! The book opened wounds in my own heart that I thought I had closed, but I suppose the damage parents inflict upon their children last a lifetime ingrained in their psyche!
Kirklands life being raised in a wealthy society where he wanted for nothing and then all of a sudden to be thrust into near poverty had to have been a shock! Three small children are thrust into taking care of themselves and their mother and they live in a new foreign country!
Becoming aware that your parents are not the typical Leave it to Beaver Cleaver family and that there friends are not exactly even stable either didn’t exactly help the author nor his brothers have a normal upbringing! His mother usually had a drink and withdrew from her children and from life.
I had a alcoholic father who was emotionally and physically abusive not only to my mother, but to my siblings and myself! We each suffered our own personal hell and life is not easy and we grew up dirt poor because even before my dad eventually finally left for good, he never kept a job for long. We all had jobs and I know my first side job was at age 12 doing gardening, but my first job that was recorded for social security was at age 14, I was a popcorn girl at a local drive in theatre!
The author at least had financial support to a degree and was able to attend college. However, to also see his mother decline into a bottle of alcohol and his father as well was no picnic!
I felt the emotional pain for the author as he told about his discovery of his sexuality while trying to maintain a semblance of balance between his dysfunctional brothers! His parents had crazy relationships with others and the kids were dragged right into the fray!
The book is about self discovery and trying to minimize the conflict and confusion that your parents and family put upon you when you don’t know how to combat it or deflect it!
I recommend this book for anyone & everyone who has ever had a dysfunctional life relationship whether it was your own or a family member or a personal friend!! This book just helps you to see the hurt, confusion and pain!
I received this advanced copy from netgally and willingly give my words and opinions!
July 28, 2020
Thematically, Filthy Beasts is a book about being able to look back, seeing where your healing has happened, and learning to save oneself--through Hamill's own work and with the early connection to the Alcoholics Anonymous community. I was especially moved by the decision to come out, and how Hamill decided to just do it in a way that worked for him (at 30. Times have changed so much in a few decades).
"I started to see my mother as somebody caught in darkness, doing whatever she could to steal glimpses of light, knowing they wouldn't last for long. I saw how brave that was, and how sad." (238)
The storytelling in Filthy Beasts felt easily adaptable to the screen--like The Royal Tenenbaums and Arrested Development, propelled by Hamill's humorous delivery of dark moments.
For fans of David Sedaris and Iliza Shlesinger.
"I started to see my mother as somebody caught in darkness, doing whatever she could to steal glimpses of light, knowing they wouldn't last for long. I saw how brave that was, and how sad." (238)
The storytelling in Filthy Beasts felt easily adaptable to the screen--like The Royal Tenenbaums and Arrested Development, propelled by Hamill's humorous delivery of dark moments.
For fans of David Sedaris and Iliza Shlesinger.
June 10, 2022
I wish I could give this book more than 2 stars, "It was OK." It didn't say anything particularly new or enlightening for me. That said, I'm not the biggest memoirs fan around by a long shot, so this e-audiobook, narrated by the author, could very well be right for many others.
March 17, 2020
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Wow, there are a lot of ups and downs in this memoir. Everything from neglect, divorce, alcoholism, sexuality, and more. The author tells all in an honest way and his life's story is quite fascinating. The tragic declines and deaths of his parents were so sad as alcoholism played such a large part of their undoing.
Wow, there are a lot of ups and downs in this memoir. Everything from neglect, divorce, alcoholism, sexuality, and more. The author tells all in an honest way and his life's story is quite fascinating. The tragic declines and deaths of his parents were so sad as alcoholism played such a large part of their undoing.
April 19, 2020
The novel about poor little rich kids began interestingly enough and did get my attention. However, it lagged for me and I just couldn't finish it.
never-finishing
February 24, 2021DNF at 100 pages in
August 12, 2020
Very enjoyable and laugh out loud funny in places. This man has a way with snarky witticisms. But, it was a truly sad story. Sure, there is a happy ending, the price he paid was high. I think the book was a terrific exercise in letting the demons go. This is the kind of guy you’d love to have a drink with.
April 6, 2020
Kirkland paints a true picture of larger-than-life characters trying to survive a future none of them expected. Born to an privileged family at the top of the social world, Kirkland finds his world collapsing into a cash-strapped life populated with proud, addiction-ridden parents refusing to accept the reality of their new life and the truth of their evolving son. Kirkland skillfully manages a tightrope walk in his narrative - giving us an intimate view into his inner world while avoiding any inclination to wallow in the pain and betrayals of his upbringing. It is funny, alarming, raw, and honest.
While this book is certainly about the fall of Kirkland's family and the emergence of Kirkland's true self, it is also the story of the complicated and resilient love of flawed brothers. In spite of everything (and there is a lot), this family does not disintegrate. A must read.
While this book is certainly about the fall of Kirkland's family and the emergence of Kirkland's true self, it is also the story of the complicated and resilient love of flawed brothers. In spite of everything (and there is a lot), this family does not disintegrate. A must read.
April 8, 2020
I do not remember a time when I enjoyed a book more. Hamill is brilliant! I was taken on a thrilling, but heartbreaking, ride with this book. I found myself laughing out loud and sobbing, alternately, with every turn of the page. Hamill's wit is unparalleled and he uses it to slice through the crushing reality of his youth. He is a skilled artist who is aware of how to use his talents to draw you in and expose raw emotion just long enough...
I devoured this book like I did every Mary Karr and Jeanette Walls! This book is not to be missed. I can only hope it is a movie someday, too. Until then, I will wait patiently for Hamill's next book..
I devoured this book like I did every Mary Karr and Jeanette Walls! This book is not to be missed. I can only hope it is a movie someday, too. Until then, I will wait patiently for Hamill's next book..
May 30, 2021
Bermuda, my home, is said to be “60,000 alcoholics clinging to a rock”. This was an absorbing, entertaining and well-written account about one of them. From this book I learned that normal people have just one or two drinks per week. Really? I mean, honestly? Pretty sure that no-one has drunk so little in any given week in Bermuda’s history!
August 15, 2020
I started this book and it was okay, then I saw the author commented rudely on an individual’s Goodreads review. The review was not entirely positive but to see an author be so petty made me not want to read any further and support that type of behaviour.
January 30, 2022
I loved this book. It's an exquisitely rendered story about a family that was firmly in the top echelons of society with wealth including Long Island mansions, sailing yachts, membership in the New York Register, homes in Bermuda, and Adirondack Great Camps. Waspy people crying is my absolute favorite genre, so maybe I'm biased, but the roots of a terrible, glamorous life are all in place: too much alcohol, narcissistic judgment, exceptional beauty, athletic achievement, catty private clubbiness, and all that gorgeous real estate and those trust funds! Well, things go south quickly when a major source of funds turns out not to exist after all, and the whole family falls apart. Far from coming together in duress, the parents make some utterly deplorable decisions, which affect their kids for the rest of their lives. Sounds like a fun read, I know. Kirkland Hamill is a writer with an exceptionally clear voice, so it's along the lines of Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt, where the writer just manages to thread the needle of reporting the unbelievable conditions while somehow creating something of transcendent beauty. Loved it.
Read
August 13, 2020Actually did not finish. I was halfway though and was on the fence if I cared about how it ended. I rarely don't finish a book, especially when I'm so far in. I decided to look at the reviews on Goodreads. When I saw the author left snarky comments on a one-star review I was really put off. Someone else commented "angry author alert". I'm moving on.
November 7, 2021
3.5
I don’t like writing reviews on memoirs. It is not a review of the author’s life. This is definitely a “survive and thrive” story with the fun twist of being set in the old school 1%.
That was fun and interesting.
I just felt like the reader never really gets beyond “How do you do?” of polite conversation to learn more about Kirkland and his personal survival. It feels like he’s still using his family as an anecdote.
I don’t like writing reviews on memoirs. It is not a review of the author’s life. This is definitely a “survive and thrive” story with the fun twist of being set in the old school 1%.
That was fun and interesting.
I just felt like the reader never really gets beyond “How do you do?” of polite conversation to learn more about Kirkland and his personal survival. It feels like he’s still using his family as an anecdote.
December 18, 2024
This is a sad life filled with tragic characters so you can’t help but feel bad for the author and his brothers. This review is by no means a criticism of his experience growing up or his writing. It was just a sad story and didn’t offer any redemption where circumstances improved or turned around. That’s what I was hoping (expecting?) to get out of it.
August 15, 2020
I haven't read a memoir or biography for 30 years, so I'm not sure how to rate one. This one was darkly humorous and blatantly foreboding. I kind of want to sit in a dimly lit bar and strike up a conversation with an unlistening stranger, but also sit in a circle in a church basement seeking anonymous help simultaneously.
I have a tenuous link to a family member of the author, so I can't give it less than 4 stars. It read quickly and made me laugh, while also making me ponder the memories and paths of families regardless of wealth, status, orientation, or geography. 4 stars even.
I have a tenuous link to a family member of the author, so I can't give it less than 4 stars. It read quickly and made me laugh, while also making me ponder the memories and paths of families regardless of wealth, status, orientation, or geography. 4 stars even.
August 27, 2020
I will start this review by saying that I'm not an avid reader. I often have a hard time getting out of my head enough to commit to reading a book from start to finish. This book was a completely different experience for me - I read it within a week and found myself waking each morning prioritizing time that I could escape into the pages of this book.
Kirkland does a beautiful job of telling a heavy story, using such vivid descriptions of experiences that you literally feel like you are standing in his shoes. While there are many painful memories described throughout the story, I see a lot of beauty in how he learns from these experiences and uses them to build his character towards being the best version of himself. These memories are also peppered with spontaneous laugh-out-loud moments that bring a lot of light to the story and also shed insight into how he was able to maintain sanity throughout his upbringing.
I really appreciate the rawness of his reflections as he exposes a dark yet fascinating side to growing up "rich" (or supposedly rich!) as this lifestyle is so often romanticized. I also found myself particularly invested in his journey towards understanding, recognizing, and sharing his sexual orientation with himself and those around him, though the book is about so much more than that! In the final pages, I found myself crying out of sadness for the losses he has suffered but also shed tears of joy and relief for how he was able to overcome the immense challenges that were handed to him throughout his life.
I've never read a memoir before but this book gave me all the feels and has left me wanting more! I really hope that Kirkland has more stories to tell because I am so hooked!
Kirkland does a beautiful job of telling a heavy story, using such vivid descriptions of experiences that you literally feel like you are standing in his shoes. While there are many painful memories described throughout the story, I see a lot of beauty in how he learns from these experiences and uses them to build his character towards being the best version of himself. These memories are also peppered with spontaneous laugh-out-loud moments that bring a lot of light to the story and also shed insight into how he was able to maintain sanity throughout his upbringing.
I really appreciate the rawness of his reflections as he exposes a dark yet fascinating side to growing up "rich" (or supposedly rich!) as this lifestyle is so often romanticized. I also found myself particularly invested in his journey towards understanding, recognizing, and sharing his sexual orientation with himself and those around him, though the book is about so much more than that! In the final pages, I found myself crying out of sadness for the losses he has suffered but also shed tears of joy and relief for how he was able to overcome the immense challenges that were handed to him throughout his life.
I've never read a memoir before but this book gave me all the feels and has left me wanting more! I really hope that Kirkland has more stories to tell because I am so hooked!
January 31, 2021
Having grown up about 15 years prior to Mr. Hamill in a similar WASP environment with one parent descended from an old Bermudian family, I understand.
The jarring sensation upon realizing that the daily three cocktails before dinner and several glasses of wine with dinner is excessive and probably alcoholism.... These behaviors, as Mr. Hamill describes, are not only normal but also expected among the “Chick & Muffy” set.
All that alcohol fuels the emotional neglect of children, especially when those children do not subscribe to the expectations of their elders. Those goals are unattainable when the same expectations continually shift, and then comes the soul-crushing realization that the child exists only to enhance the others’ self-images...prestigious schools, classical piano lessons, table manners and even the impossible continental style of holding the knife and fork, an impossible task when eating peas.
Moreover, as Mr. Hamill describes, one must date and choose a spouse according to a narrow set of standards. Authenticity is repressed if it is diametrically opposed to the superficial WASP ideal. Children must perpetuate the illusion, the “keeping up of appearances.”
Mr. Hamill recognizes and processes these issues, and he doesn’t give in to the poor-me. This book is in part therapy and part another warning that substance abuse effects families from all backgrounds, and the impact on the children can be detrimental, especially when the other parent doesn’t provide grounding and validation.
I get it, Mr. Hamill. I might also add that my experiences of people using the word “cocktail” typically identifies them as alcoholics, especially around the country clubs.
The jarring sensation upon realizing that the daily three cocktails before dinner and several glasses of wine with dinner is excessive and probably alcoholism.... These behaviors, as Mr. Hamill describes, are not only normal but also expected among the “Chick & Muffy” set.
All that alcohol fuels the emotional neglect of children, especially when those children do not subscribe to the expectations of their elders. Those goals are unattainable when the same expectations continually shift, and then comes the soul-crushing realization that the child exists only to enhance the others’ self-images...prestigious schools, classical piano lessons, table manners and even the impossible continental style of holding the knife and fork, an impossible task when eating peas.
Moreover, as Mr. Hamill describes, one must date and choose a spouse according to a narrow set of standards. Authenticity is repressed if it is diametrically opposed to the superficial WASP ideal. Children must perpetuate the illusion, the “keeping up of appearances.”
Mr. Hamill recognizes and processes these issues, and he doesn’t give in to the poor-me. This book is in part therapy and part another warning that substance abuse effects families from all backgrounds, and the impact on the children can be detrimental, especially when the other parent doesn’t provide grounding and validation.
I get it, Mr. Hamill. I might also add that my experiences of people using the word “cocktail” typically identifies them as alcoholics, especially around the country clubs.
September 6, 2020
Kudos to Kirkland Hamill for a candid, honest and brutal look at his life that went from luxury to near poverty, from confusion to realization.
Hamill was born into a wealthy Nantucket home, but when his parents divorced, he, then 8, and his brothers quickly learned that mom Wendy wasn't much of a mother. When they returned to Bermuda, Wendy's homeland, the boys were left often without food or supervision. How does one find his place in the world when there's no structure or support, only a drunk mom too eager to move on the next man? The author was forced to find out the hard way. Surrounding by all-American athletes and no maternal support, Hamill is left alone to discover himself and try to make sense of the world.
Too poor for prep school. Too sissy to be a man. Too gentle to be surrounded by such cruelty, absence and emotional neglect. All describe the bubble in which Hamill found himself encased. What he did have, though, was a strength and determination to better himself, to be honest with himself, and to strive to be his best self.
The years, tears and triumphs are recounted with recalled with unflinching honesty. At times, it's hard to read about experiences or lack of, but readers can't help but cheer for Hamill's climb up and out.
His mom now is dead. He's left her go. But Hamill's world goes on, and so will his evolution.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for my opinion.
Hamill was born into a wealthy Nantucket home, but when his parents divorced, he, then 8, and his brothers quickly learned that mom Wendy wasn't much of a mother. When they returned to Bermuda, Wendy's homeland, the boys were left often without food or supervision. How does one find his place in the world when there's no structure or support, only a drunk mom too eager to move on the next man? The author was forced to find out the hard way. Surrounding by all-American athletes and no maternal support, Hamill is left alone to discover himself and try to make sense of the world.
Too poor for prep school. Too sissy to be a man. Too gentle to be surrounded by such cruelty, absence and emotional neglect. All describe the bubble in which Hamill found himself encased. What he did have, though, was a strength and determination to better himself, to be honest with himself, and to strive to be his best self.
The years, tears and triumphs are recounted with recalled with unflinching honesty. At times, it's hard to read about experiences or lack of, but readers can't help but cheer for Hamill's climb up and out.
His mom now is dead. He's left her go. But Hamill's world goes on, and so will his evolution.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for my opinion.
July 27, 2020
A dramatic story of a family harmed by too much money and alcohol, this book was honest and interesting, and just a bit caustic. Kirkland, the author writes a tale of a childhood of generational wealth lost, the culture of old money and alcohol impacting marriages, and kids as fallout. I was really taken with this story.
Alcoholism plays a huge role, both as a social lubricant, where it is expected that one will be able to hold their liquor...until they no longer can. It impacts relationships and stops being social for nearly all involved in this story. The sad decline of Kirkland's mother is difficult, but I still felt empathy for her. There was still love in the snarky comments each family member made to each other, even if it was the only way to show it.
Others have called this a coming of age book, and it is, but less so than others I have read. While Kirkland's sexuality is certainly an important storyline, it isn't a dramatic one. I wonder if this was downplayed in the book or just in the life of the author, as he was focusing more on his relationship with his mother.
I really enjoyed this book. The details, the wit, and the lifestyles described really kept this story moving and from becoming bitter or depressing.
Alcoholism plays a huge role, both as a social lubricant, where it is expected that one will be able to hold their liquor...until they no longer can. It impacts relationships and stops being social for nearly all involved in this story. The sad decline of Kirkland's mother is difficult, but I still felt empathy for her. There was still love in the snarky comments each family member made to each other, even if it was the only way to show it.
Others have called this a coming of age book, and it is, but less so than others I have read. While Kirkland's sexuality is certainly an important storyline, it isn't a dramatic one. I wonder if this was downplayed in the book or just in the life of the author, as he was focusing more on his relationship with his mother.
I really enjoyed this book. The details, the wit, and the lifestyles described really kept this story moving and from becoming bitter or depressing.
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