Upper Bohemia: A Memoir

by Hayden Herrera

A poignant coming-of-age memoir by the daughter of artistic, bohemian parents—set against a backdrop of 1950s New York, Cape Cod, and Mexico.

Hayden Herrera’s parents each married five times; following their desires was more important to them than looking after their children. When Herrera was only three years old, her parents separated and she and her sister moved from Cape Cod to New York City to live with their mother and their new hard-drinking stepfather. They saw their father only during summers on the Cape, when they and the other neighborhood children would be left to their own devices by parents who were busy painting, writing, or composing music. These adults inhabited a world that Herrera’s mother called “upper bohemia,” a milieu of people born to privilege who chose to focus on the life of the mind. Her parents’ friends included such literary and artistic heavyweights as artist Max Ernst, writers Edmund Wilson and Mary McCarthy, architect Marcel Breuer, and collector Peggy Guggenheim.

On the surface, Herrera’s childhood was idyllic and surreal. But underneath, the pain of being a parent’s afterthought was acute. Upper Bohemia captures the tension between a child’s excitement at every new thing and her sadness at losing the comfort of a reliable family. For her parents, both painters, the thing that mattered most was beauty—and so her childhood was expanded by art and by a reverence for nature. But her early years were also marred by abuse and by absent, irresponsible adults. Herrera would move from place to place, parent to parent, relative to family friend, and school to school—eventually following her mother to Mexico. The step-parents and step-siblings kept changing, too.

Intimate and honest, Upper Bohemia is a celebration of a wild and pleasure-filled way of living—and a poignant reminder of the toll such narcissism takes on the children raised in its grip.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Biography Memoir, Audiobook, Autobiography

272 pages, Hardcover

Published June 9, 2020

About the author

Hayden Herrera is an art historian. She has lectured widely, curated several exhibitions of art, taught Latin American art at New York University, and has been awarded a Guggenheim Fellowship. She is the author of numerous articles and reviews for such publications as Art in America, Art Forum, Connoisseur, and the New York Times, among others. Her books include Frida: A Biography of Frida Kahlo; Mary Frank; and Matisse: A Portrait. She is working on a critical biography of Arshile Gorky. She lives in New York City.

Reviews

[Kelsey Stalvey · Rating 3 out of 5]

This memoir is a unique look into the eclectic childhood of Hayden Harrera and her sister Blair. As children of “bohemian” parents in the 1940s, both girls learned how to fend for their own in multiple boarding schools while their parents were shuffling through multiple spouses. With each new marriage (five for each parent!), came a new city, a new house, a new school. Hayden was on the never ending quest for her parents’ attention and affection, although most of the time receiving the opposite. •
•
I appreciated that the author kept her tone neutral throughout, allowing the reader to form their own opinion on the parenting style she was subject to. The sentences felt short and direct, although at times it felt as though I was reading through a child’s point of view: jumping from one description to the next without pause. I never felt a deep connection to Hayden or her stories due to the detached style of storytelling, but this memoir was compelling nonetheless. Fans of #TheGlassCastle would enjoy this book!

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Rachelr · Rating 1 out of 5]

quit not quite half way through. it was not good. the story was surprisingly boring, for having parents who seemed like such interesting people. but interesting people who make bad parents make for a bad story when told by their children. she seemed indifferent but a little butt-hurt by their negligence, and her writing was quite bad. weird, short sentences. it was not engaging. i also didn't like how she kept referring to her childhood self as overweight. i'm sure she heard that all the time from others, but you could tell from the photos that she was only barely overweight, and it just fed into the overall negative energy of the book. would not recommend.

[Jeanette (Ms. Feisty) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Michael Ritchie · Rating 2 out of 5]

A person with an apparently interesting upbringing writes a tedious memoir. Her style is plain and the anecdotes she tells are unmemorable. I was hoping for so much out of this, based on the jacket and blurbs.

[Virginia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so mad I couldn't even cry, so I escaped from the house by a side door and went for a high-tide swim. Water always collected the pieces of me and put them back together.

Written with a very deceptive simplicity in the voice of her childhood self, Hayden Herrera (who's about 80 at the time of this writing) looks back at her jealous, narcissistic, manipulative mother and easily-distracted doofus of a father who let their daughters down at every opportunity but still provided them with an amazingly varied childhood. I enjoyed that the author gave us the "facts" from her very clear memory without, for the most part, putting an adult's critical spin on them. Her childhood was simply just what it was. This reminded me of why memoir is my favourite literary form. Herrera is, after all, a professional writer who knows exactly what she's doing here.

The next morning seagulls woke me early. They find clams on the sand flats, fly high up, and drop them on the rocks to break open their shells. Then they squabble about which gull gets to eat the clam. There is something melancholy about seagulls' cries. They go on and on regardless of whether I hear them, and they will keep crying that same cry even after I am dead.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first came upon this book after reading a debut novel by the author's niece, Miranda Cowley Heller, called The Paper Palace--many of the family dynamics she described in her book were actually part of her own family history dating back several generations. Then, Upper Bohemia came up again in The New Yorker in a round-up of the year's best books. I really loved The Paper Palace and enjoyed reading Upper Bohemia as a companion piece to that in a truth-is-stranger-than-fiction kind of way. The author certainly had an unconventional, offbeat, and sort of appalling childhood and her mother came across as really pretty dreadful, narcissistic, and detached, although Herrera, to her credit, describes her in a very matter-of-fact and non-judgmental way. I would have been interested to have found out more about what happened to Herrera after she started high school and college and got married and became an art historian, but that was actually beyond the scope of the book.

[Janilyn Kocher · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first read the synopsis I thought the time frame would be the 1960s. I was surprised it was actually the 1940s. Hayden's childhood was chaotic. Both parents had numerous partners and marriages. Both parents were self-absorbed and neglectful. I felt sorry for Hayden and her sister Blair. They had few stabilizing adults in their lives. Hayden connected with a pond at her father's place in New England that symbolized happiness and contentment. Her writing is interesting and her story fascinating. She squeezes in the rest of her life in an epilogue, but I think it would have been an equally interesting second memoir. Thanks to Edelweiss, NetGalley, and Simon and Schuster for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Alexis Newkirk · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a very tedious listen about a unique childhood. I think there is definitely value in this story, particularly for family or friends of the writer, but as an average reader it felt too detailed and slow moving for my taste.

[Sarah Tittle · Rating 1 out of 5]

Terrible. And please Simon and Schuster, hire a better copy editor. Stationary store? Confidant instead of confident? Someone else needs to write and publish this story.

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

A matter-of-fact recounting of Hayden's rather peripatetic childhood with selfish parents who seemingly cared more about themselves than their kids. The parents brushed shoulders with some famous folks while Hayden and her sister were often left to fend for themselves. I did love that the author included some photos; they didn't necessarily coincide w/ what was written on the page, but they helped keep my interest. The ending felt abrupt and rather rushed, but for the most part, I was entertained.

[Erika Reynolds · Rating 3 out of 5]

Upper Bohemia is a memoir detailing the childhood of Hayden Herrera and her sister, Blair. Born to artistic parents who were more concerned with their own pleasure than raising children, Hayden and Blair spent their youth traveling between various relatives, countries, and schools. While the girls were often sent away to boarding schools so their parents could focus on their various spouses and partners (each were married 5 times), Hayden doesn’t look back on her childhood with anger. The tone of this book reminds me a lot of Jeannette Walls’ The Glass Castle. Neither author is wrapped up in the emotion of a childhood plagued by unstable parents; instead, they both recall their upbringing in a manner that lets the reader make their own judgments.

Hayden’s life story is interesting, but I felt she spent too much time providing details into her family’s history that were not necessary for understanding the book or her experiences. In fact, it was a little rough to get through the first 3-4 chapters. After that, the book takes off in the best way. Hayden is very matter of fact in her writing, which I appreciate. The language isn’t flowery, but she does a wonderful job of providing just enough details of her life in Mexico to keep anyone unfamiliar with the culture along for the ride. The ending felt very abrupt, though. I didn’t realize I was on the last chapter, and had it not been for the postscript, the ending would have been very anticlimactic. The postscript is a nice touch that gives some insight into Hayden and Blair’s adult lives, but I didn’t feel satisfied with the last chapter of their childhood. Overall, this is a unique life story that is worth reading.

Thank you to Net Galley and Simon & Schuster Publishing for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Roxanne]

Non-Fiction Review by Roxanne Baker, Book Seller

Hayden Herrera’s Memoir Upper Bohemia (Simon & Schuster Available June 9th)

What a salve and a joy to read Hayden Herrera’s Upper Bohemia during the Covid-19 crisis, but even without a stay at home order, you’ll relish Hayden’s beautiful writing style and specificity with which she details her child rearing years, tossed back and forth between two parental bohemians with a capital B.

Suffice to say, her parents each had five marriages. Start with that and you can imagine the school changes, residential moves, Hayden and her biological sister Blair experienced. From Cape Cod to Boston’s Beacon Hill to Mexico City, Hayden was yanked back and forth between these two creative types.

What tickled me most about the book were detailed memories so vivid I channeled back through childhood files of my own that I hadn’t thought about in years. so vivid I channeled back through childhood files of my own that I hadn’t thought about in years. Playing ring around the rosey, the orchestration of simple birthday party games, adjusting to the boredom of being on vacation and desperately reading whatever was on hand, like being unsatisfied by Veronica and Archie comics, brought back so many similar sensory images.

On the flipside, I also got to live vicariously through Mexican travel one can only dream about right now. Hayden’s vast cultural experiences at bull fights, an Easter All Souls procession, hiking pyramids at Teotihuacan, and a horrible tragedy she witnessed at a Mexican craft celebration. The family photographs scattered throughout give an added flair and personal touch.

I cried when the book ended. It was as if Hayden was telling me fun bedtime stories helping me remember fun times in my own past more cherished now in our health emergency and giving me the gift of travel when none is available. A Godsend!.

[Joe Norman · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’ve no doubt but that the author was raised in a bohemian environment (upper, lower, middle or whatever). And I’m certain that her life was interesting in any number of ways. I can only imagine the stories, impressions, and memories that would arise from such a life. Unfortunately I can still only imagine such observations because none of them are in this book. To say it is boring is to do boring an injustice.

[Jeaninne Escallier · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hayden's biography of Frida Kahlo made me a fan for life. Subsequently, I have read many of her biographies. She is a gifted writer, art historian and movie consultant. When I saw this book in the bookstore, I thought, "I bet Hayden must have lived an interesting life to have such an appreciation for artists and the creative process." I wasn't wrong. Hayden descends from a long line of artists and aristocrats, two extremes of a very wide continuum that just so happened to meet in the middle. The two juxtapositions of Hayden's lineage collided into an explosive childhood filled with adventure, awe, shock, betrayal, abandonment, wonder, freedom, self-expression and survival.

I didn't expect to learn the depth of her avant-garde, bittersweet life with parents whose own needs were more important than their children's. (Parental narcissism is always a complicated beast.) But Hayden's masterful storytelling keeps the reader from hating her parents. Her words paint the pictures of the love that always existed underneath the abject self-centeredness of adults who professed the need to express their creativity without boundaries, even to the detriment of child-rearing. As a reader, I felt how we as human beings are all universally flawed in some way.

However, Hayden's no-holds-barred narration made me feel immense gratitude for the mother I have had all my life. At 91, and still going strong, my mother is still my best friend. While I was reading this memoir, I felt a sadness for Hayden for not having the kind of mother who put her children first, who loved openly and freely, who would have never left her children with other people to chase various men. I had a father like that so I could feel that grief somewhat, but a girl needs her mother at all stages of maturation. It's how we learn to be fearless, brave, strong women.

But here's where Hayden's genius as a writer comes into play- she never makes you feel sorry for her. There is always redemption in her stories, in her characters, in her loved ones. She left me with the fulfillment that everyone in her life gave her gifts to become the woman she is today. She had her own family and achieved much. She lived a rich, colorful, adventurous life with many great role models who loved her. She was able to splice all those experiences into a tapestry of creativity that manifests beautifully in her work. I enjoyed her stories as much as I felt them in a sad, bittersweet way. But isn't that life? And don't we all have similar stories in our own families? Of course we do.

[Marian · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Our terrible mother gave Blair and me a wonderful life." Thus, begins art historian Hayden Herrera's coming-of-age memoir on growing up with her sister, Blair, in a very unorthodox and unconventional way. Born to parents more consumed with satisfying their own desires and pleasures than raising their children, these "upper bohemian" adults (a term interestingly coined by Herrera's mother) catered primarily to their own wants and needs. The children of these adults were given quite a bit of freedom, alarmingly so as you read about Herrera's growing up years.

As Herrera chronicles what is was like growing up in New York City, Cape Cod, and Mexico, there were points in the book where I felt that instead of recounting past events, she simply listed them in a rather disjointed way. In addition, there were times when it felt that Herrera switched narration from first person adult to first person child. These were my main criticisms of an otherwise fascinating account of a world filled with aloof and self-serving adults whose children only wanted their parents' love and approval.

In the end, Herrera and Blair are testaments to the fact that you can grow up despite your parents not being parents. And while their life was lived pretty much on the edge, it was never dull.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster Publishing for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Mara · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fascinating memoir about growing up with "Upper Bohemian" parents in the 1940-50s. Herrera describes Upper Bohemian as those born into wealth/privilege that decide to live in unconventional ways. Hayden Herrera's parents were both artists and constantly in flux. Her parents constantly moved and married different partners multiple times during her childhood. This lead to Herrera and her older sister living in many homes in Massachusetts, New York, and Mexico with each parent and their partners. Instability was the only constant for Hayden and her sister, Blair. Their parents were more concerned with satisfying their desires and whims than being parents, which forced their children to learn independence early on. There was Herrera's parents grew up in worlds of wealth and privilege, so it's fascinating to hear the name dropping of those in their circles, including famous artists and families that built major American institutions. 'Upper Bohemia' reads like someone recounting their chaotic childhood at a party with artists. This didn't always work for me as some parts were a little disjointed and slow. Despite being pretty short, this took me a while to get through. Overall, a unique perspective recounting the fascinating experiences of a child of Upper Bohemians in the 1940-50s.

Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing this ARC.

[Neptune · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yes interesting stories within it in. But it felt more like a list of what happened, with details, rather than good storytelling and writing techniques put to use. It made me realize that writing style can be much more important than the content itself. I have read books that have much less going out but were much more emotionally intriguing and addicting. The book felt very dry, despite the nature of the story (she went through what most children will never; and yet it felt so lackluster). The detached story telling sometimes made it boring, when otherwise it could/and should have been a poignant read.

I was very excited about this one, so a little disappointed! She is an art historian and it felt like she was writing a history of her life rather than a memoir with storytelling.

Took me a long time to finish. And I read fast.

[Cara Schaul · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this! Hayden Herrera takes us through her first 13 years of childhood bouncing back and forth between her separated parents in 1950s New England and Mexico. Because the memoir is just about her early childhood, the imagery she uses is so honest and innocent. It was easy to recount these memories with her. Definitely gonna keep this one on my bookshelf<3

[Jessica Van Tassell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am not sure what I just read…but I did finish it so…it was at least ok? Who knows?!

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

For the author and her sister, to those looking in, it appears that their childhood was idyllic and surreal; filled with world travel and adventure. But underneath, the pain of being a parent’s afterthought was palpable. The author’s parents each married five times and their main priority was following their artistic desires and remaining unconventional.
Her parents were good friends with Max Ernst, the Guggenheim’s and many other famous artists who were born to privilege, and who chose to focus on the “life of the mind”, as opposed to the daily mundane responsibilities of everyday life. It was Herrera’s mother who coined the term “upper bohemia.”
Both parents were charismatic, interesting, and physically beautiful but highly narcissistic as well. Herrera’s account of growing up in multiple countries and attending eight schools in eight years was riveting and as unorthodox and frightening (at times) as her childhood was, it seems she grew up with the ability to adjust to just about any of life’s situation ; both planned and unplanned.

[Ellen Terry · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was recommend somewhere I thought was trustworthy, but it turns out I was wrong. 50% of the way through the author was still 4 years old! It was just weird. She describes things like musical as if it’s a novel idea her mom came up with? Her parents were moderately neglectful and alternative but that does not mean her childhood warrants a book.

[Brocka · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sadly, more boring than expected

[Penny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Upper Bohemia is a memoir based on the childhood of art historian Hayden Herrera.
Herrera is probably best known as the author of "Frida: A Biography of Frida Kahlo". The book was later adapted into the movie "Frida" produced by Salma Hayek, who also starred in the film.
Born in Boston in 1940, her wealthy artistic parents rejected all social convention of that era opting instead for a vagabond lifestyle. This book is an account of that lifestyle seen through a child's eyes.
Despite growing up shuffled between parents, relatives, schools and countries, Herrera managed to have quite an extraordinary childhood. She sums it up best by saying "Our terrible mother gave Blair and me a wonderful life"
While rich in detail, the narrative is very matter-of-fact. Herrera does not dwell on the emotional or negative aspects of her upbringing. Instead of placing blame, she chooses to focus on how she grew from the experience.
Though sad, and even shocking at some points, this engrossing memoir is also unexpectedly beautiful and uplifting.
*Thank you Simon & Schuster Publishing, Hayden Herrera and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Upper Bohemia is the terms used to describe a group of counter-cultural individuals in the 1930s and 1940s. After that came the "Beats" and the "Hippies". Upper Bohemians chose a lifestyle of free love, art, living simply etc. This book details Hayden Herrera's childhood with parents as Bohemains. It was fascinating, since I had not really read much about that counter-cultural group.
I also love how Ms. Herrera describes her childhood, very simple but detailed.

[Shae · Rating 1 out of 5]

I only read about sixty pages into this book and I had to put it away. I love memoirs and this look into the upper bohemian crowd of the 1940s was fascinating, but also tinged with sexual abuse, neglect, and the pursuit of beauty (not duty.) I felt voyeuristic (like a train crash you can't look away from) reading and when I started getting sick to my stomach I put it away.

[Christen Pettit Miller · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading even one more comment about how the upper class bohemian author was fat as a child would have kept me from finishing this book.

It was interesting and intriguing until it wasn’t.

[Shannon]

I wanted more than this book shared. Missing some emotional interpretations from the author. Lots of name dropping and descriptions of various homes. Somewhat interesting but just didn’t grab me.

[Anita · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thought I would be very interested in the book beforehand....had a hard time getting into it.

[Reed RJ · Rating 2 out of 5]

So sorry this was not good. And such a shame because what a fascinating life she lived!!! Could’ve made such an excellent memoir (if the woman had hired a ghostwriter). Sorry, harsh.

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Upper bohemia" is described as a group of artists, thinkers, and writers who aren't living by the rules but forging a life dedicated to art, pleasure and authenticity in the 40s and 50s - precursors to the beats and then hippies. Hayden Herrera and her sister Blair were born to parents in the thick of it. Their father hand built houses on Cape Cod that they lived in and used for ever changing guests. Their parents divorced while the girls were young after which they bounced continuously from Cape Cod to New York to Mexico, changing schools and stepparents every year or so. They were lucky to have each other as a constant in their lives. Hayden grew up longing to be a priority of her parents, but also feeling that she didn't quite measure up to their beauty, believing she was fat (in contrast to her mother's slim, frequently naked, glamour). In the photos, Hayden does not appear particularly fat, but this was clearly a discouraging part of her identity that all of the adults in her world reinforced. She loved Cape Cod and the ponds they swam in as the only place that ever fully felt like home.

I loved Hayden's matter of fact voice with attention to detail, like this description of a favorite dress: "One of my hand-me-down dresses was embroidered all around the skirt with swings upon which sat small brown bears made of fake fur. The bears swung when I walked. This was the dress I wore to birthday parties."

At one point, Hayden's mother finds a family to move into their house and take care of the girls. "After my mother drove away, promising to be back next summer, I lay on my back under a huge pine tree below the front steps of the Big House. the pine-needle-covered earth was like a mattress. I wanted my mind to be just as soft, but the inside of my skull felt chunky and hard, full of sharp corners. I did that crunch down thing on my heart, instead of missing my mother."

Hayden knows her parents failed her, but loved them anyway and ultimately forgave them. This was a fascinating coming of age story that speaks from the inside of what looks like a kind of extraordinary life.