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The Mother I Could Have Been
Why would you walk away from the one person you can’t live without?
As a child, Vicky Hall never had the sort of family she wanted. The least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favour of her two younger half-siblings, Vicky was always an afterthought. Sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.
When Vicky meets William and falls pregnant in Greece that summer, it isn’t planned. But the two of them believe they can make it work, showering their child with the love which they believe should be enough.
But when her son Theo is two, Vicky leaves him in the care of her mother-in-law, walks out of her front door and drives to a hotel where she takes a room for the night. She doesn’t return.
It’s unthinkable.
What kind of mother does that?
The kind who is hiding a story you can never imagine.
The Mother I Could Have Been is a heartbreaking story of impossible decisions and second chances, from the bestselling author of The Silent Wife and The Woman I Was Before. Perfect for fans of Jodi Picoult, Liane Moriarty and Diane Chamberlain.
Readers are loving The Mother I Could Have Been!
‘WOW!… An amazing read!!!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
‘I wish I could have read this book in one sitting… I literally couldn't put it down.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
‘Kerry Fisher goes from strength to strength, with The Mother I Could Have Been being her best book yet.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
‘This is a book that once I picked up, it totally consumed me. I ended up reading it in one evening as I was so absorbed by what was in front of me and I had to see how everything was going to end… An absolute must read.’ By the Letter Book Reviews, 5 stars
‘I have loved every book I’ve read by this author and this is no exception. I loved it. I didn’t want it to end. Excellent read.’ NetGalley reviewer, 5 stars
‘An incredible read. So well written and heartfelt.’ NetGalley reviewer, 5 stars
‘I don’t even know how to start this review as I know my words will never do it justice. Each time I pick one of Kerry’s books up, I wonder how it is going to top her previous book as each and every one I’ve read has absolutely blown me away and warmed me to the core.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
‘Another great Kerry Fisher read… this book makes you want to hug your loved ones and tell them you love them as you never know what’s around the corner!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
‘Awesome story… grab your hankies! Read in one day.
As a child, Vicky Hall never had the sort of family she wanted. The least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favour of her two younger half-siblings, Vicky was always an afterthought. Sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.
When Vicky meets William and falls pregnant in Greece that summer, it isn’t planned. But the two of them believe they can make it work, showering their child with the love which they believe should be enough.
But when her son Theo is two, Vicky leaves him in the care of her mother-in-law, walks out of her front door and drives to a hotel where she takes a room for the night. She doesn’t return.
It’s unthinkable.
What kind of mother does that?
The kind who is hiding a story you can never imagine.
The Mother I Could Have Been is a heartbreaking story of impossible decisions and second chances, from the bestselling author of The Silent Wife and The Woman I Was Before. Perfect for fans of Jodi Picoult, Liane Moriarty and Diane Chamberlain.
Readers are loving The Mother I Could Have Been!
‘WOW!… An amazing read!!!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
‘I wish I could have read this book in one sitting… I literally couldn't put it down.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
‘Kerry Fisher goes from strength to strength, with The Mother I Could Have Been being her best book yet.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
‘This is a book that once I picked up, it totally consumed me. I ended up reading it in one evening as I was so absorbed by what was in front of me and I had to see how everything was going to end… An absolute must read.’ By the Letter Book Reviews, 5 stars
‘I have loved every book I’ve read by this author and this is no exception. I loved it. I didn’t want it to end. Excellent read.’ NetGalley reviewer, 5 stars
‘An incredible read. So well written and heartfelt.’ NetGalley reviewer, 5 stars
‘I don’t even know how to start this review as I know my words will never do it justice. Each time I pick one of Kerry’s books up, I wonder how it is going to top her previous book as each and every one I’ve read has absolutely blown me away and warmed me to the core.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
‘Another great Kerry Fisher read… this book makes you want to hug your loved ones and tell them you love them as you never know what’s around the corner!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
‘Awesome story… grab your hankies! Read in one day.
282 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 18, 2019
1145 people are currently reading
2839 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 206 reviews
November 23, 2019
Favorite Quotes:
I couldn’t resist Rowan. He was my favourite by far because he was innately naughty. He hadn’t yet mastered the art of throwing a bomb and not being anywhere in the vicinity when it went off. I adored him.
I sometimes couldn’t believe she was my daughter, with her endless stream of rules and regulations. ‘Who is coming tonight?’ She managed to say it as though I’d have invited all the local miscreants and some dodgy men with an unhealthy interest in children.
You’re brilliant with customers. I love how you tell them to bugger off so politely they enjoy the journey.
It was amazing how clearly I could see the flaws in other people’s mothering but would need surgical intervention to patch up the gaping wounds in my own.
He carried the message like a wise man cupping a gift of myrrh, reverential, with a sense of ceremony, big man coming through with big news.
The woman pursed her lips so tightly, I wanted to tell her that in twenty years’ time, her lipstick wouldn’t bleed, it would haemorrhage .
You are such a drama queen. I don’t even recognise the childhood you think you had. No, Mum and Dad weren’t perfect, but they were good enough. You talk about them as though we were left chewing on scraps in a dungeon, fending for ourselves.
My Review:
I have a new favorite author - despite her heavy deployment of angsty and emotive story threads. I was so absorbed by her brilliantly insightful and evocative writing, complex and profoundly flawed characters, and witty wordplay that I didn’t seem to mind the eye-burning, heart-squeezing, or ire-producing storylines that I typically eschew. I was instantly mesmerized and sucked into this perceptive and thoughtfully crafted tale and resented any intrusion or interruption to my perusal for those unimportant distractions such as sleep, hygiene, whining husband, or nutritional sustenance. Kerry Fisher is a phenomenal writer with powerful word voodoo. I am driven to amass all her clever words and have added her entire listing to my TBR.
I couldn’t resist Rowan. He was my favourite by far because he was innately naughty. He hadn’t yet mastered the art of throwing a bomb and not being anywhere in the vicinity when it went off. I adored him.
I sometimes couldn’t believe she was my daughter, with her endless stream of rules and regulations. ‘Who is coming tonight?’ She managed to say it as though I’d have invited all the local miscreants and some dodgy men with an unhealthy interest in children.
You’re brilliant with customers. I love how you tell them to bugger off so politely they enjoy the journey.
It was amazing how clearly I could see the flaws in other people’s mothering but would need surgical intervention to patch up the gaping wounds in my own.
He carried the message like a wise man cupping a gift of myrrh, reverential, with a sense of ceremony, big man coming through with big news.
The woman pursed her lips so tightly, I wanted to tell her that in twenty years’ time, her lipstick wouldn’t bleed, it would haemorrhage .
You are such a drama queen. I don’t even recognise the childhood you think you had. No, Mum and Dad weren’t perfect, but they were good enough. You talk about them as though we were left chewing on scraps in a dungeon, fending for ourselves.
My Review:
I have a new favorite author - despite her heavy deployment of angsty and emotive story threads. I was so absorbed by her brilliantly insightful and evocative writing, complex and profoundly flawed characters, and witty wordplay that I didn’t seem to mind the eye-burning, heart-squeezing, or ire-producing storylines that I typically eschew. I was instantly mesmerized and sucked into this perceptive and thoughtfully crafted tale and resented any intrusion or interruption to my perusal for those unimportant distractions such as sleep, hygiene, whining husband, or nutritional sustenance. Kerry Fisher is a phenomenal writer with powerful word voodoo. I am driven to amass all her clever words and have added her entire listing to my TBR.
December 7, 2019
EXCERPT: I could have put my head on the table and cried. I'd held my babies close when they were born, my mind full of the fun we'd have, the places we'd see, the idea that we'd be this solid unit, each one of us standing firm, providing fortification against the outside world. It never occurred to me that we'd all turn on each other.
ABOUT THIS BOOK: As a child, Vicky Hall never had the sort of family she wanted. The least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favour of her two younger half-siblings, Vicky was always an afterthought. Sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.
When Vicky meets William and falls pregnant in Greece that summer, it isn’t planned. But the two of them believe they can make it work, showering their child with the love which they believe should be enough.
But when her son Theo is two, Vicky leaves him in the care of her mother-in-law, walks out of her front door and drives to a hotel where she takes a room for the night. She doesn’t return.
It’s unthinkable.
What kind of mother does that?
The kind who is hiding a story you can never imagine.
MY THOUGHTS: What mother hasn't doubted her own capability as a mother? Doesn't look back with regret at some stupid decision she made, or some inappropriate reaction to something her child has done that she would take back if she could? Mothering has to be the hardest job in the world.
And the most rewarding. But when you're young, and perhaps without a network of support, it is a daunting job. It's daunting enough when you have that support. I felt sorry for Vicky, but I didn't like her. At first.... I came around.
I have to admit I bonded more with Caro, and loved her story, even though I couldn't see how the two could be connected. But they were. Beautifully.
Fisher has a great way with words. She says about people what we all think at times, and says it in exactly the way we think it. Her characters are so real they could walk off the pages and into our lives. We feel their emotions, their fears, their disappointments, their joys.
An emotional read.
****
#TheMotherICouldHaveBeen #NetGalley
THE AUTHOR: Kerry Fisher is an internationally bestselling author of six novels, including The Woman I Was Before, The Silent Wife and The Secret Child. She was born in Peterborough, studied French and Italian at the University of Bath and spent several years living in Spain, Italy and Corsica. After returning to England to work as a journalist, she eventually abandoned real life stories for the secrets of fictional families. She now lives in Surrey with her husband, two teenage children and a naughty Lab/Schnauzer called Poppy.
Best advice ever received: 'This is fiction, we can skip the boring bits.' Lynn Hightower, UCLA Writers' Program.
DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Bookouture, via NetGalley, for providing a digital ARC of The Mother I Could Have Been by Kerry Fisher for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own opinions.
For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page, or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com
This and other reviews are also published on Twitter, Amazon and my webpage https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
ABOUT THIS BOOK: As a child, Vicky Hall never had the sort of family she wanted. The least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favour of her two younger half-siblings, Vicky was always an afterthought. Sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.
When Vicky meets William and falls pregnant in Greece that summer, it isn’t planned. But the two of them believe they can make it work, showering their child with the love which they believe should be enough.
But when her son Theo is two, Vicky leaves him in the care of her mother-in-law, walks out of her front door and drives to a hotel where she takes a room for the night. She doesn’t return.
It’s unthinkable.
What kind of mother does that?
The kind who is hiding a story you can never imagine.
MY THOUGHTS: What mother hasn't doubted her own capability as a mother? Doesn't look back with regret at some stupid decision she made, or some inappropriate reaction to something her child has done that she would take back if she could? Mothering has to be the hardest job in the world.
And the most rewarding. But when you're young, and perhaps without a network of support, it is a daunting job. It's daunting enough when you have that support. I felt sorry for Vicky, but I didn't like her. At first.... I came around.
I have to admit I bonded more with Caro, and loved her story, even though I couldn't see how the two could be connected. But they were. Beautifully.
Fisher has a great way with words. She says about people what we all think at times, and says it in exactly the way we think it. Her characters are so real they could walk off the pages and into our lives. We feel their emotions, their fears, their disappointments, their joys.
An emotional read.
****
#TheMotherICouldHaveBeen #NetGalley
THE AUTHOR: Kerry Fisher is an internationally bestselling author of six novels, including The Woman I Was Before, The Silent Wife and The Secret Child. She was born in Peterborough, studied French and Italian at the University of Bath and spent several years living in Spain, Italy and Corsica. After returning to England to work as a journalist, she eventually abandoned real life stories for the secrets of fictional families. She now lives in Surrey with her husband, two teenage children and a naughty Lab/Schnauzer called Poppy.
Best advice ever received: 'This is fiction, we can skip the boring bits.' Lynn Hightower, UCLA Writers' Program.
DISCLOSURE: Thank you to Bookouture, via NetGalley, for providing a digital ARC of The Mother I Could Have Been by Kerry Fisher for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own opinions.
For an explanation of my rating system please refer to my Goodreads.com profile page, or the about page on sandysbookaday.wordpress.com
This and other reviews are also published on Twitter, Amazon and my webpage https://sandysbookaday.wordpress.com/...
January 5, 2020
The Mother I Could Have Been by Kerry Fisher is really a contemporary story that does have some romance here and there. The book is an emotional one that follows the life of a young women over the course of more than a decade.
As Vicky Hall is about to graduate her family is not around yet again. With a mother who had remarried and is now involved with her step siblings Vicky has felt like she is an afterthought for years and vowed to herself to form her own family in adulthood.
Instead of heading home after graduation Vicky decides to take off on a vacation where she meets William. The two have a wild fling that ends up in pregnancy that sends Vicky home to the UK with William and his family.
I have to say I think I was most impressed with this one after starting off not thinking highly of the main character and coming full circle by the end. The ups and downs over the course of the years passing kept the pages turning and wondering how it would all work out in the end for the characters.
I received an advance copy from the publisher via NetGalley.
For more reviews please visit https://carriesbookreviews.com/
As Vicky Hall is about to graduate her family is not around yet again. With a mother who had remarried and is now involved with her step siblings Vicky has felt like she is an afterthought for years and vowed to herself to form her own family in adulthood.
Instead of heading home after graduation Vicky decides to take off on a vacation where she meets William. The two have a wild fling that ends up in pregnancy that sends Vicky home to the UK with William and his family.
I have to say I think I was most impressed with this one after starting off not thinking highly of the main character and coming full circle by the end. The ups and downs over the course of the years passing kept the pages turning and wondering how it would all work out in the end for the characters.
I received an advance copy from the publisher via NetGalley.
For more reviews please visit https://carriesbookreviews.com/
November 22, 2019
Awesome story ... grab your hankies! Read in one day.
This is Vicky's' story. She lost her father at a young age, which was bad enough. But her mom remarried and had 2 more children. Vicky always felt like the odd person out. She perceived her mom spending all time and efforts on the younger children.
When her mom did not even attend her graduation from school, she decided then and there she would one day have her own family full of the love and attention she has always wanted.
On a trip to Greece, she meets William a free soul, sort of a surfer dude. But then Vicky gets pregnant and everything changes. She is welcomed into William's home with his mother and father and they absolutely adore the baby, Theo.
William grows up in a hurry and spends many hours at work. He encourages Vicky to work part time so they can afford to get their own placed. William's mother becomes Theo's carer.
Once again, Vicky feels adrift as William's mother encourages Theo to call her mamma .. and teaches Theo to cry and scream if Vicky even tries to pick him up.
She endures until she can no longer endure. Believing she is not a good mother and that Theo would be better off without her, she leaves ... never to return.
Not an easy thing to do .. leave a young child that you love with all your heart and soul. What kind of mother does that? The kind who is hiding a story you can never imagine.
This is a heart-wrenching tale of dysfunctional families, toxic relationships, second chances, love, miscommunication, impossible decisions. Get the tissues handy ... you'll need them.
This is so well written, I read it in one day. It was hard to put down, and when I did put it down, all the characters remained in my head ... and in my heart. The characters are finely developed ... and credible.
Many thanks to the author / Bookouture / Netgalley for the digital copy of this psychological family drama. Read and reviewed voluntarily, opinions expressed here are unbiased and entirely my own.
This is Vicky's' story. She lost her father at a young age, which was bad enough. But her mom remarried and had 2 more children. Vicky always felt like the odd person out. She perceived her mom spending all time and efforts on the younger children.
When her mom did not even attend her graduation from school, she decided then and there she would one day have her own family full of the love and attention she has always wanted.
On a trip to Greece, she meets William a free soul, sort of a surfer dude. But then Vicky gets pregnant and everything changes. She is welcomed into William's home with his mother and father and they absolutely adore the baby, Theo.
William grows up in a hurry and spends many hours at work. He encourages Vicky to work part time so they can afford to get their own placed. William's mother becomes Theo's carer.
Once again, Vicky feels adrift as William's mother encourages Theo to call her mamma .. and teaches Theo to cry and scream if Vicky even tries to pick him up.
She endures until she can no longer endure. Believing she is not a good mother and that Theo would be better off without her, she leaves ... never to return.
Not an easy thing to do .. leave a young child that you love with all your heart and soul. What kind of mother does that? The kind who is hiding a story you can never imagine.
This is a heart-wrenching tale of dysfunctional families, toxic relationships, second chances, love, miscommunication, impossible decisions. Get the tissues handy ... you'll need them.
This is so well written, I read it in one day. It was hard to put down, and when I did put it down, all the characters remained in my head ... and in my heart. The characters are finely developed ... and credible.
Many thanks to the author / Bookouture / Netgalley for the digital copy of this psychological family drama. Read and reviewed voluntarily, opinions expressed here are unbiased and entirely my own.
Read
November 27, 2019Kerry Fisher has written a thought-provoking and emotion evoking story. The book delves deep into the mother daughter relationship. Vicki has felt that her mothers love was more focused on her half siblings ever since they entered the picture. Determined to make a life for herself she heads to Greece where she meets William. William, seems to be the answer to all her problems, then she gets pregnant.Soon she finds herself living with his parents back in the UK. His mom seems to be elated about having a grandchild, but after Theo is born she is a little too involved. This leads to Vicky packing up and leaving, without a trace and without Theo. CARO is the mother of two adult children and rents out holiday cottages. Her relationship with her daughter India is quite contemptuous. When Vicky and Caro’s paths cross they form a bond that leads them to healing and forgiveness.
as a mother I had such a hard time with Vicky leaving little Theo behind. I tried not to judge and understand that she was insecure. I also understood that it would be tremendously difficult to have your child call his grandma mama and call you by your first name and to be scared of you. Why William did not stand up for her is beyond me, or even better why Vicky did not stand up for herself. But that leads back to the insecurity. Caro was a caring and loving mother with a daughter that can only be described as a total bitch. Her daughter India was such a piece of work, I cannot even imagine treating my mom that way or having my daughter treat me the way she treated her. There was so much miscommunication and unreasonable expectations in the story. Vicky’s relationship with her mother was heartbreaking as well. There were a few little twist and turns throughout the story, but this really was more of an emotional journey. I kept thinking what would I do in each of these mother’s situations? No easy answers. A beautifully told story with a satisfying ending.
This book in emojis. 🏖 🤰🏻 🐶
*** Big thanks to Bookouture for my gifted copy ***
as a mother I had such a hard time with Vicky leaving little Theo behind. I tried not to judge and understand that she was insecure. I also understood that it would be tremendously difficult to have your child call his grandma mama and call you by your first name and to be scared of you. Why William did not stand up for her is beyond me, or even better why Vicky did not stand up for herself. But that leads back to the insecurity. Caro was a caring and loving mother with a daughter that can only be described as a total bitch. Her daughter India was such a piece of work, I cannot even imagine treating my mom that way or having my daughter treat me the way she treated her. There was so much miscommunication and unreasonable expectations in the story. Vicky’s relationship with her mother was heartbreaking as well. There were a few little twist and turns throughout the story, but this really was more of an emotional journey. I kept thinking what would I do in each of these mother’s situations? No easy answers. A beautifully told story with a satisfying ending.
This book in emojis. 🏖 🤰🏻 🐶
*** Big thanks to Bookouture for my gifted copy ***
August 8, 2021
Vicky Hall has just finished university, she’s excited to be graduating and looking forward to the ceremony. When her mum calls to tell her she want be able to make it, Vicky feels let down, her mum has remarried, and has two younger children Emily and Joey. Vicky has never met her father, she feels like her mother favors her younger children, she's disappointed and then she gets mad. Vicky goes on a holiday to Corfu in Greece with her friend, her mum sends her a message asking when she’s coming home and she ignores it.
Vicky meets William Cottingdale, he’s house sitting a villa in Greece and when she falls pregnant they return to England. The young couple stay with William’s parents Barbara and Derek and Vicky still doesn’t contact her mum to let her know she's back. When little Theo is born, Vicky's a nervous new mother and Barbara offers to help. Before she knows it Barbara has taken over, things get out of control and Vicky leaves the house when Theo's two. She doesn’t return, Barbara has deliberately made Vicky feel like she has failed as a mother, she has told Theo she’s his Mamma and poor Vicky has no idea. By leaving she has given Barbara, exactly what she’s wanted and Vicky has lost her son.
Vicky's working at Applewood Farm, owners Caro and Gilbert Campbell have employed her to help run their accommodation business and they become much more than her employers. With the guidance of Caro, Gilbert and their son Fergus, Vicky gains her confidence back, she’s given the opportunity to raise her son, it’s not going to be easy to make up for the six years she has lost, it's a huge change for Theo and with the help from the Cambell's, mother and son eventually form a bond.
The Mother I Could Have Been is a story about Vicky being young and vulnerable and Barbara taking advantage of her. Vicky made mistakes, she should have kept in contact with her mother, she judged her too harshly, and she was very immature. I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review, the story was a little far fetched and three stars from me.
Vicky meets William Cottingdale, he’s house sitting a villa in Greece and when she falls pregnant they return to England. The young couple stay with William’s parents Barbara and Derek and Vicky still doesn’t contact her mum to let her know she's back. When little Theo is born, Vicky's a nervous new mother and Barbara offers to help. Before she knows it Barbara has taken over, things get out of control and Vicky leaves the house when Theo's two. She doesn’t return, Barbara has deliberately made Vicky feel like she has failed as a mother, she has told Theo she’s his Mamma and poor Vicky has no idea. By leaving she has given Barbara, exactly what she’s wanted and Vicky has lost her son.
Vicky's working at Applewood Farm, owners Caro and Gilbert Campbell have employed her to help run their accommodation business and they become much more than her employers. With the guidance of Caro, Gilbert and their son Fergus, Vicky gains her confidence back, she’s given the opportunity to raise her son, it’s not going to be easy to make up for the six years she has lost, it's a huge change for Theo and with the help from the Cambell's, mother and son eventually form a bond.
The Mother I Could Have Been is a story about Vicky being young and vulnerable and Barbara taking advantage of her. Vicky made mistakes, she should have kept in contact with her mother, she judged her too harshly, and she was very immature. I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review, the story was a little far fetched and three stars from me.
November 22, 2019
Vicky always felt that her mother overlooked her in favour of her younger half brother and sister. She vows when she has her own family she will love them equally. So when Vicky meets William in Greece, she falls pregnant, they marry and return back to England. One Christmas was Theo is two, Vicky walks out the family home. Intending to stay one night away in a hotel room, but Vicky never returns. Vicky eventually meets and works for Caro, who has two adult children. Her son works in the family business but her daughter seems to pick fault in everything Caro dies. Can the two women help each other to become the mothers they so much wanted to be?
This is a book about family relationships and expectations. I can't say I honestly did not like Vicky but I don't like people who walk out on their responsibilities everytime something does not go their way. Caro is an older woman who's son works for the family business and his sister is filled with jealousy. The story is heartbreaking in parts. The story is told from Vicky and Caro's point of view. Ian sure a lot of the topics co ered in this story will resonate with some readers. Another well written book by the author.
I would like to thank NetGalley, Bookouture and the author Kerry Fisher for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.
This is a book about family relationships and expectations. I can't say I honestly did not like Vicky but I don't like people who walk out on their responsibilities everytime something does not go their way. Caro is an older woman who's son works for the family business and his sister is filled with jealousy. The story is heartbreaking in parts. The story is told from Vicky and Caro's point of view. Ian sure a lot of the topics co ered in this story will resonate with some readers. Another well written book by the author.
I would like to thank NetGalley, Bookouture and the author Kerry Fisher for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.
November 9, 2019
Kerry Fisher wrote another emotional story that tugs at your heartstrings. At first, I didn’t think I was going to be able to like Vicki Hall at all; her choices at the beginning of the book went against everything I value. I found her whiny, entitled and very selfish. However, by the end of the book I warmed up to her quite a bit.
Caro was a great character. I could relate to her a lot more since I am closer to her in age than I am to Vicki. I loved how Caro and her husband Gilbert worked through all the sadness and heartbreak together and how they communicated with each other. No family is perfect and they were no exception.
There were such heartwarming moments in this book. I did shed tears, I raged at Vicki, I loathed that awful woman Barbara and India, adored Caro, Fergus, and Theo. Kerry Fisher understands people so well and develops relatable and interesting characters. I am a huge fan of hers after reading this book, it is the second one I read by her and it did not disappoint.
Thank you to Net Galley and Bookouture for providing me with an ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Caro was a great character. I could relate to her a lot more since I am closer to her in age than I am to Vicki. I loved how Caro and her husband Gilbert worked through all the sadness and heartbreak together and how they communicated with each other. No family is perfect and they were no exception.
There were such heartwarming moments in this book. I did shed tears, I raged at Vicki, I loathed that awful woman Barbara and India, adored Caro, Fergus, and Theo. Kerry Fisher understands people so well and develops relatable and interesting characters. I am a huge fan of hers after reading this book, it is the second one I read by her and it did not disappoint.
Thank you to Net Galley and Bookouture for providing me with an ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.
November 11, 2019
We want our parents to be perfect, fall within the limits of our expectations, without realizing they are humans first and like any human, they make mistakes.
I have been at fault for having this expectation and judging my parents for being humans. Took me a very long time to understand.
This book by author Kerry Fisher foretold one such story where a mother Vicky Hall left her 7 month old child, not for the lack of love, but because her past dictated her actions.
An innocent girl of 16, who needed her mother, yet couldn’t seem to understand, ran from life, found herself pregnant and entrenched in a posh family which led to a lack of confidence and security, and her every thought reflected that. She had to leave. This was Vicky Hall’s life journey, a journey of a mother as she met the other mothers.
Having read a couple of this author’s books, I knew I would get to know the human nature intimately. This story gave me an an insight into a girl’s outlook, woman’s mind, and a mother’s heart. The story resonated with me as I had been that girl Vicky. The journey felt familiar in some ways. Her thoughts echoed in my mind.
Kerry’s writing had that magnetic quality which kept pulling me even when I went off to sleep. I knew the first I would do was complete the book. The story had tears and joys, regrets and gratitude, losses and second chances.
Vicky Hall was not emotive, she kept her feelings close, but she had a deep well of love within her for her son even when she didn’t know how to show it. The author’s talent in her words was seen in the strength of how she showed me the reasons without alienating me from the main character.
It was a story which had to be read, we might not agree with her decisions but we would surely understand them. The author made sure that. A beautiful story.
I have been at fault for having this expectation and judging my parents for being humans. Took me a very long time to understand.
This book by author Kerry Fisher foretold one such story where a mother Vicky Hall left her 7 month old child, not for the lack of love, but because her past dictated her actions.
An innocent girl of 16, who needed her mother, yet couldn’t seem to understand, ran from life, found herself pregnant and entrenched in a posh family which led to a lack of confidence and security, and her every thought reflected that. She had to leave. This was Vicky Hall’s life journey, a journey of a mother as she met the other mothers.
Having read a couple of this author’s books, I knew I would get to know the human nature intimately. This story gave me an an insight into a girl’s outlook, woman’s mind, and a mother’s heart. The story resonated with me as I had been that girl Vicky. The journey felt familiar in some ways. Her thoughts echoed in my mind.
Kerry’s writing had that magnetic quality which kept pulling me even when I went off to sleep. I knew the first I would do was complete the book. The story had tears and joys, regrets and gratitude, losses and second chances.
Vicky Hall was not emotive, she kept her feelings close, but she had a deep well of love within her for her son even when she didn’t know how to show it. The author’s talent in her words was seen in the strength of how she showed me the reasons without alienating me from the main character.
It was a story which had to be read, we might not agree with her decisions but we would surely understand them. The author made sure that. A beautiful story.
September 18, 2021
Pffffffttttttttt.
I didn't like the h, nor did I understand her motivations. I needed more info about her family life and why she interpreted her upbringing the way she did. I didn't care for her boyfriend. And her MIL (not really because she wasn't married to the supposed Baby Daddy), was Cruella DeVille. Why on earth would any woman allow another woman who behaved like that to interact with her child? Because it is the child who was screwed the most by all of these messed-up dynamics. Why would you leave your child with them?
This book is about parent-child dynamics and the way those manifest in adult children as much as it is about anything. The message I walked away with is that sometimes our kids turn out with totally different perceptions of shared family history and events than their siblings or parents do.
All in all, this book was kind of a mess for me. I was annoyed by the interspersed monologue by the mystery person (eventually exposed to the reader). That little side story was never tidied up to my satisfaction. I was annoyed by the h's tendency to simply do a runner. I just didn't understand why these folks were behaving the way they were.
I didn't like the h, nor did I understand her motivations. I needed more info about her family life and why she interpreted her upbringing the way she did. I didn't care for her boyfriend. And her MIL (not really because she wasn't married to the supposed Baby Daddy), was Cruella DeVille. Why on earth would any woman allow another woman who behaved like that to interact with her child? Because it is the child who was screwed the most by all of these messed-up dynamics. Why would you leave your child with them?
This book is about parent-child dynamics and the way those manifest in adult children as much as it is about anything. The message I walked away with is that sometimes our kids turn out with totally different perceptions of shared family history and events than their siblings or parents do.
All in all, this book was kind of a mess for me. I was annoyed by the interspersed monologue by the mystery person (eventually exposed to the reader). That little side story was never tidied up to my satisfaction. I was annoyed by the h's tendency to simply do a runner. I just didn't understand why these folks were behaving the way they were.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 14, 2019
THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN
BY KERRY FISHER
This book was extremely heartbreaking in the beginning and although there is some resolution and some humor family estrangement is so sad. Vicky is just twenty one and graduating from her university when her mother calls her from the hospital telling her she can't attend graduation. Vicki is the oldest child and feels second best to her mother's two younger children with her second husband. Vicki decides to vacation in Corfu, Greece and ignores her mother's calls and text messages.
Having grown up feeling always like the odd man out it is no wonder that she makes the tragic decision that she did with her own child. There isn't a love stronger than a mother's love for her own children even when they are grown up. I understand that once your own children are grown up you still worry about them until their lives are settled down with a partner and their own children. Then you tend to turn your attentions to focusing on your husband and the mature love that you have both shared over the years turns into something that much deeper.
I really thought that Vicky's mother in law was one of the worst mother in law's that I have ever heard about or read about until reading more I understood why she did the horrific things to Vicky and Vicki's child. Or I should reframe that; What Barbara did to Vicky with Vicky's child before what happened to her own child named William was the worst mother in law that I have ever encountered. Even though mother''s love their children with such a strong intensity. What Barbara did to Vicky was just so wrong on so many levels and heartless. I did understand her motives for reconnecting Vicky to her child.
I really admired Caro who had a very loving and mature son named Fergus. Caro did sacrifice herself for the love of her daughter who she could never seem to please. This book was very realistic in its painting the portrait that families are sometimes messy no matter how hard we try. Sometimes certain family members are impossible to please. I really think this is the first book that I have come across that so perfectly captures that exact sentiment. I really enjoyed Caro, her husband, Fergus and I liked watching Vicky grow up and mature. Caro was a very loving mother and also very sensible. I admired Caro for taking responsibility for something she never even did to keep her daughter's marriage intact. I also loved that Caro and Fergus didn't give in to India's immaturity, jealousy and emotional blackmail.
This was a very well developed story about the disappointments we have to live with or not with certain members of families. It only takes at least one dysfunctional person to turn the entire family to suffer the consequences. In this story you can stand strong for what you think is right and hope for the best. Or you can runaway. This story offers both options and is very well written. This is the first time I have read this author and I am going to read some of her other work. Highly Recommended to those who like reading about contemporary fiction with realism.
Thank you to Net Galley, Kerry Fisher and Bookouture for providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.
BY KERRY FISHER
This book was extremely heartbreaking in the beginning and although there is some resolution and some humor family estrangement is so sad. Vicky is just twenty one and graduating from her university when her mother calls her from the hospital telling her she can't attend graduation. Vicki is the oldest child and feels second best to her mother's two younger children with her second husband. Vicki decides to vacation in Corfu, Greece and ignores her mother's calls and text messages.
Having grown up feeling always like the odd man out it is no wonder that she makes the tragic decision that she did with her own child. There isn't a love stronger than a mother's love for her own children even when they are grown up. I understand that once your own children are grown up you still worry about them until their lives are settled down with a partner and their own children. Then you tend to turn your attentions to focusing on your husband and the mature love that you have both shared over the years turns into something that much deeper.
I really thought that Vicky's mother in law was one of the worst mother in law's that I have ever heard about or read about until reading more I understood why she did the horrific things to Vicky and Vicki's child. Or I should reframe that; What Barbara did to Vicky with Vicky's child before what happened to her own child named William was the worst mother in law that I have ever encountered. Even though mother''s love their children with such a strong intensity. What Barbara did to Vicky was just so wrong on so many levels and heartless. I did understand her motives for reconnecting Vicky to her child.
I really admired Caro who had a very loving and mature son named Fergus. Caro did sacrifice herself for the love of her daughter who she could never seem to please. This book was very realistic in its painting the portrait that families are sometimes messy no matter how hard we try. Sometimes certain family members are impossible to please. I really think this is the first book that I have come across that so perfectly captures that exact sentiment. I really enjoyed Caro, her husband, Fergus and I liked watching Vicky grow up and mature. Caro was a very loving mother and also very sensible. I admired Caro for taking responsibility for something she never even did to keep her daughter's marriage intact. I also loved that Caro and Fergus didn't give in to India's immaturity, jealousy and emotional blackmail.
This was a very well developed story about the disappointments we have to live with or not with certain members of families. It only takes at least one dysfunctional person to turn the entire family to suffer the consequences. In this story you can stand strong for what you think is right and hope for the best. Or you can runaway. This story offers both options and is very well written. This is the first time I have read this author and I am going to read some of her other work. Highly Recommended to those who like reading about contemporary fiction with realism.
Thank you to Net Galley, Kerry Fisher and Bookouture for providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.
January 5, 2020
The Mother I Could Have Been is a heartbreaking story by Kerry Fisher. This novel will totally consume you and have your emotions scattered all over the place. This novel examines the relationship between a parent and child and how their decisions and actions impact the future.
As a child, Vicky Hall never had the sort of family she wanted. The least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favor of her two younger half-siblings, Vicky was always an afterthought. Sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.
Vicky messages her mum with, “going travelling this summer, will be in touch.” So off to Greece with her roommate, Liv and family for the summer. Liv would be staying in Greece for two weeks and then going back to the UK to start her accountancy job.
A meaningful quote from Vicky:
“I’d discovered that breaking off contact with people I cared about was less painful than living with them loving me less.”
Then at twenty-two, Vicky meets William and falls pregnant in Greece that summer, it isn’t planned. But the two of them believe they can make it work, showering their child, Theo with the love which they believe should be enough. They move into William’s home with his mother and father to save money. Both William and Vicky find work, and William’s mother, Barbara becomes Theo’s nanny.
But Barbara encourages Theo to call her Mamma, and to cry and scream when Vicky comes near the baby. Vicky soon believes she is not a good mother, and does the unthinkable… She leaves, walks out on her two-year-old son.
“He was better off without me.”
What kind of mother does that?
The novel then alternates to another mother Caro, and older mother that has problems with her grown up married daughter, India, a selfish demanding woman that only wanted things done her way.
The Mother I Could Have Been, is a story of dysfunctional families, painful memories, actions and consequences, love and loss and finding your way out where you can be at peace with yourself. The characters are so well-developed and give emotional depth to the scene. This novel is so well-written and will have you re-evaluating your own life.
Many thanks to the author, Bookouture and Netgalley for my digital copy of this novel.
As a child, Vicky Hall never had the sort of family she wanted. The least important person in her new step-family, ignored by her mother in favor of her two younger half-siblings, Vicky was always an afterthought. Sitting alone at her graduation ceremony at the age of twenty-one, she vows to create her own family and her own life, one which is full of the love and attention she has always craved.
Vicky messages her mum with, “going travelling this summer, will be in touch.” So off to Greece with her roommate, Liv and family for the summer. Liv would be staying in Greece for two weeks and then going back to the UK to start her accountancy job.
A meaningful quote from Vicky:
“I’d discovered that breaking off contact with people I cared about was less painful than living with them loving me less.”
Then at twenty-two, Vicky meets William and falls pregnant in Greece that summer, it isn’t planned. But the two of them believe they can make it work, showering their child, Theo with the love which they believe should be enough. They move into William’s home with his mother and father to save money. Both William and Vicky find work, and William’s mother, Barbara becomes Theo’s nanny.
But Barbara encourages Theo to call her Mamma, and to cry and scream when Vicky comes near the baby. Vicky soon believes she is not a good mother, and does the unthinkable… She leaves, walks out on her two-year-old son.
“He was better off without me.”
What kind of mother does that?
The novel then alternates to another mother Caro, and older mother that has problems with her grown up married daughter, India, a selfish demanding woman that only wanted things done her way.
The Mother I Could Have Been, is a story of dysfunctional families, painful memories, actions and consequences, love and loss and finding your way out where you can be at peace with yourself. The characters are so well-developed and give emotional depth to the scene. This novel is so well-written and will have you re-evaluating your own life.
Many thanks to the author, Bookouture and Netgalley for my digital copy of this novel.
November 17, 2019
This is a book that once I picked up, it totally consumed me. I ended up reading it in one evening as I was so absorbed by what was in front of me and I had to see how everything was going to end.
Vicky is going to be a character that people are going to ask themselves what they would do in her position. I know I did. As a mother could I ever just walk away? Reading her story though, I had every empathy and could understand why she does what she did.
The story starts off with Vicky and then alternates between Vicky and another mother Caro. Caro even though a lot more maturer in age than Vicky, has issues of her own with her grown up daughter India. I could easily fill a few pages of my thoughts on India. So many times I wanted to give her a good slap and take her down a peg or two.
In a way we see motherhood at two very different stages. With Vicky, the early stages and feeling like you are never quite good enough and the constant self doubts. Caro, we get to see what it’s like in the later years. With a daughter dealing with jealousy and using her children as a bargaining tool to get at her parents. Something that I can not abide.
This is a story very much about bonds and the relationship between parent and child. Vicky’s relationship with her own mother was heartbreaking and in a way, an eye opener. As was India’s with Caro. It makes you sit back and take stock of your own childhood as well as your relationship with your siblings and parents.
The Mother I Could Have Been is an eye opener of a read. It made me reevaluate things in my own life. I loved this insight into motherhood as it really got into my head and heart. It was a story I didn’t want to end as a few of the characters in this book stole a piece of me. A meaningful and endearing read that fully embraced me and didn’t let me go. An absolute must read.
My thanks to NetGalley and Bookouture for an advanced readers copy of this book. All opinions are my own and not biased in anyway.
Vicky is going to be a character that people are going to ask themselves what they would do in her position. I know I did. As a mother could I ever just walk away? Reading her story though, I had every empathy and could understand why she does what she did.
The story starts off with Vicky and then alternates between Vicky and another mother Caro. Caro even though a lot more maturer in age than Vicky, has issues of her own with her grown up daughter India. I could easily fill a few pages of my thoughts on India. So many times I wanted to give her a good slap and take her down a peg or two.
In a way we see motherhood at two very different stages. With Vicky, the early stages and feeling like you are never quite good enough and the constant self doubts. Caro, we get to see what it’s like in the later years. With a daughter dealing with jealousy and using her children as a bargaining tool to get at her parents. Something that I can not abide.
This is a story very much about bonds and the relationship between parent and child. Vicky’s relationship with her own mother was heartbreaking and in a way, an eye opener. As was India’s with Caro. It makes you sit back and take stock of your own childhood as well as your relationship with your siblings and parents.
The Mother I Could Have Been is an eye opener of a read. It made me reevaluate things in my own life. I loved this insight into motherhood as it really got into my head and heart. It was a story I didn’t want to end as a few of the characters in this book stole a piece of me. A meaningful and endearing read that fully embraced me and didn’t let me go. An absolute must read.
My thanks to NetGalley and Bookouture for an advanced readers copy of this book. All opinions are my own and not biased in anyway.
August 8, 2022
This book really grew on me after what struck me as a bit of a shaky start.
Vicky was hurt when her younger step-sister's fall meant her mother missed her graduation. In part retaliation to this final act what she perceived as her mother's disinterest in her life, she went to Greece on a 'gap-year' and failed to properly keep in touch.
When Vicky had her own son she no longer had her own mother as a sounding board when her boyfriend's mother seemed as though she was taking over and Vicky felt pushed out all over again.
This is an intriguing story which examines different circumstances of why the supposedly strong bond between mother and child can be stretched beyond endurence.
Definitely an author I would read again.
Vicky was hurt when her younger step-sister's fall meant her mother missed her graduation. In part retaliation to this final act what she perceived as her mother's disinterest in her life, she went to Greece on a 'gap-year' and failed to properly keep in touch.
When Vicky had her own son she no longer had her own mother as a sounding board when her boyfriend's mother seemed as though she was taking over and Vicky felt pushed out all over again.
This is an intriguing story which examines different circumstances of why the supposedly strong bond between mother and child can be stretched beyond endurence.
Definitely an author I would read again.
November 23, 2019
Kerry Fisher never stops amazing me. I first fell in love with Fisher’s writing style with her previous release, The Woman I was Before, and the gift she has of pulling you into a deep emotional story that will pull on your heartstrings. It is such a tall order when a synopsis boasts a story perfect for fans by such well known authors as Jodi Picoult and Diane Chamberlain and I must say Kerry Fisher really lives up to the hype set forth in the synopsis. Fisher writes with such raw emotion and realism that will leave you in tears. Yes, I did cry because The Mother I Could Have Been is such a tender, thought provoking and emotional look into family and life in general and what it means to be a mother.
Vicki Hall always felt like an outsider, even within her own family. Her mother is remarried with two new children and Vicki feels rather left out and unnoticed. Vicki thinks she would be better off on her own and sets out to make a life and family of her own. But, when she thinks she finally found her happily-ever-after, Vicki is in for an awakening when the same fears slowly crop up leaving her to abandon her two year old son, Theo, into the care of his father and mother-in-law. Will Vicki ever find her way back to her son?
I am not sure I can even begin to express how emotional and heartbreaking this story is. I am not a mother, but I do have a mother whom I am very close to and just the thought of ever leaving and losing touch is just devastating to me. While I can understand Vicki’s reasoning behind doing what she did, I don’t think she ever really thought things through. In a way, I guess she was young and naive and thought she was doing the right thing. While I may not have liked the “younger” Vicki or the decisions she made, Vicki did redeem herself as she got older and “wiser.” Vicki became a totally different person and it was so easy to see the changes she was going through as she made peace within herself for the actions in her past.
This story just grips you right from the start. I had a really hard time putting it down and found myself reading well into the night in part wanting to strangle Vicki, cry for her, or rejoice when she finally started coming into her own. I think in some ways readers can relate to something in this story as I think most of us have regrets in our past or even wondered if we could have done things differently. It really is an eye opener when a story can make you think about your own family dynamics.
The Mother I could Have Been is a heartfelt and honest look into families and what it means to be a mother with flaws and all. This is a definite five star read for me and if I could give it more stars I would! If you have not read anything by Kerry Fisher yet, come over here so I can slap you because you are truly missing out on a fantastic and beyond talented author.
Vicki Hall always felt like an outsider, even within her own family. Her mother is remarried with two new children and Vicki feels rather left out and unnoticed. Vicki thinks she would be better off on her own and sets out to make a life and family of her own. But, when she thinks she finally found her happily-ever-after, Vicki is in for an awakening when the same fears slowly crop up leaving her to abandon her two year old son, Theo, into the care of his father and mother-in-law. Will Vicki ever find her way back to her son?
I am not sure I can even begin to express how emotional and heartbreaking this story is. I am not a mother, but I do have a mother whom I am very close to and just the thought of ever leaving and losing touch is just devastating to me. While I can understand Vicki’s reasoning behind doing what she did, I don’t think she ever really thought things through. In a way, I guess she was young and naive and thought she was doing the right thing. While I may not have liked the “younger” Vicki or the decisions she made, Vicki did redeem herself as she got older and “wiser.” Vicki became a totally different person and it was so easy to see the changes she was going through as she made peace within herself for the actions in her past.
This story just grips you right from the start. I had a really hard time putting it down and found myself reading well into the night in part wanting to strangle Vicki, cry for her, or rejoice when she finally started coming into her own. I think in some ways readers can relate to something in this story as I think most of us have regrets in our past or even wondered if we could have done things differently. It really is an eye opener when a story can make you think about your own family dynamics.
The Mother I could Have Been is a heartfelt and honest look into families and what it means to be a mother with flaws and all. This is a definite five star read for me and if I could give it more stars I would! If you have not read anything by Kerry Fisher yet, come over here so I can slap you because you are truly missing out on a fantastic and beyond talented author.
March 15, 2020
I've loved all the Kerry Fisher books I have read but I think this is the most emotional of them. As always, she manages to give each character real depth, so that I found myself relating to them all in one way or another and longed for everything to work out well. The complex family relationships are so brilliantly written. I sobbed - and sobbed - at the end. Fabulous!
October 17, 2019
Gripping, heartbreaking, emotional page turner! Wow!
I couldn't stop reading this book! I was hooked! This book has drama written all over it!
Vicky Hall, young college student who graduates and goes on a two-week holiday to Corfu and decides never to come back home. She is disappointed that her mother couldn't make it to graduation, and coming to a conclusion that her family is better off without her, she decides to make a life-altering decision to stay away. While away, Vicky is swept away by William, and both thinking they can live in sheer bliss forever, has to return to reality of real life after Vicky starts to have a complicated pregnancy. Once back in William's home, Barbara, William's mom pseudo-adopts Vicky as apart of the family, and helps her throughout the pregnancy and birth. However, once the baby arrives, all hell breaks loose.
Vicky, unable to cope with the rigors of family drama, motherhood, and expectations, she decides that her son is better off without her. She disappears when her son is 2 years old, and lives a nomadic-type lifestyle for 6 years. However, in a twisted turn of events, her son is back in her life for good and she now has to answer to the call of motherhood once again, uncertain, guilty, and ashamed for running off in the first place.
Vicky also struggles with her relationship, or lack of relationship with her mother, and is trying to figure out how to get back. Simultaneously, she lands a job where she meets Caro, another mother, who also has a strained relationship with her daughter. Here we see manipulation, bitterness, pure evil, unforgiving attitudes, and how perception can lead to estrangement.
Through Vicky, Barbara, Caro, and India, we find out how tough and stressful motherhood can be. We also see how the relationships with mothers go wrong, how preconceived notions determine the health of the relationships, and we see the sacrifices mothers make for their kids, whether for good or bad.
This book was definitely a page turner with sharp twists and unexpected surprises. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and seeing how Vicky managed her life and motherhood despite trying to run from responsibility for most of her adult life. The ending of this book was pretty open-ended, leaving the reader to imagine what happens next.
One thing I would mention is that I thought the book had some time gap issues, but overall, pretty solid novel! I would definitely read this again and recommend to others. This book is a 4.
Thank you to Net Galley, Kerry Fisher and Bookouture for providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.
I couldn't stop reading this book! I was hooked! This book has drama written all over it!
Vicky Hall, young college student who graduates and goes on a two-week holiday to Corfu and decides never to come back home. She is disappointed that her mother couldn't make it to graduation, and coming to a conclusion that her family is better off without her, she decides to make a life-altering decision to stay away. While away, Vicky is swept away by William, and both thinking they can live in sheer bliss forever, has to return to reality of real life after Vicky starts to have a complicated pregnancy. Once back in William's home, Barbara, William's mom pseudo-adopts Vicky as apart of the family, and helps her throughout the pregnancy and birth. However, once the baby arrives, all hell breaks loose.
Vicky, unable to cope with the rigors of family drama, motherhood, and expectations, she decides that her son is better off without her. She disappears when her son is 2 years old, and lives a nomadic-type lifestyle for 6 years. However, in a twisted turn of events, her son is back in her life for good and she now has to answer to the call of motherhood once again, uncertain, guilty, and ashamed for running off in the first place.
Vicky also struggles with her relationship, or lack of relationship with her mother, and is trying to figure out how to get back. Simultaneously, she lands a job where she meets Caro, another mother, who also has a strained relationship with her daughter. Here we see manipulation, bitterness, pure evil, unforgiving attitudes, and how perception can lead to estrangement.
Through Vicky, Barbara, Caro, and India, we find out how tough and stressful motherhood can be. We also see how the relationships with mothers go wrong, how preconceived notions determine the health of the relationships, and we see the sacrifices mothers make for their kids, whether for good or bad.
This book was definitely a page turner with sharp twists and unexpected surprises. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and seeing how Vicky managed her life and motherhood despite trying to run from responsibility for most of her adult life. The ending of this book was pretty open-ended, leaving the reader to imagine what happens next.
One thing I would mention is that I thought the book had some time gap issues, but overall, pretty solid novel! I would definitely read this again and recommend to others. This book is a 4.
Thank you to Net Galley, Kerry Fisher and Bookouture for providing me with my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review.
November 6, 2019
I got a free advance readers’ copy in exchange for my honest review.
Mother and daughter relationships are hard. And many times it is not until we grow up, that we understand the reasoning behind some of our mothers’ decisions. But still, we hold our mother to a higher standard many times, demanding perfection from her.
The Mother I Could Have Been describes a fraught relationship between Vicky Hall and her own mother, which then develops into her never believing she is good enough to be first in anyone’s life. The book starts with her mother telling her she cannot make it to her graduation because her half-sister is in the hospital. Hurt and disappointed, Vicky decides to spend that summer in Greece where she meets William Cottingdale. She unexpectedly becomes pregnant and they decide to move back to England and start a family. However, one day she leaves her child with him and his parents and never comes back.
The book was written from two perspectives, Vicky and Caro. Caro ends up employing Vicky and helps her with her own crises while dealing with her own.
Vicky was so relatable to me. When my first child was born, I was quite young and my mother-in-law was extremely overbearing. She would often tell me I was a bad mother just because I was not doing something the way she thought I should. When I read where Vicky’s mother-in-law, Barbara made Theo, Vicky’s son, call her ‘Mamma’ instead of Vicky, I had to stop reading for a while because I started to remember my own troubles with that. I never left my children but, honestly, I was able to understand why Vicky felt like she had no other choice.
I adored Caro. She was not perfect by a long shot, but she loved her children, Fergus and India. I found myself feeling quite sorry for her when I saw how India treated her. I do love how well she related to Vicky. I do not think Vicky would have been able to handle what she went through if not for Caro and Fergus.
I tried this book because I am also a Jodi Picoult fan and seeing her name in the blurb made me curious. Now I can honestly say I am a fan of Kerry Fisher and would definitely love to read more of her work.
Violence: None
Sexual Content: Very mild
Profanities: Very mild
Religious Themes: None
Mother and daughter relationships are hard. And many times it is not until we grow up, that we understand the reasoning behind some of our mothers’ decisions. But still, we hold our mother to a higher standard many times, demanding perfection from her.
The Mother I Could Have Been describes a fraught relationship between Vicky Hall and her own mother, which then develops into her never believing she is good enough to be first in anyone’s life. The book starts with her mother telling her she cannot make it to her graduation because her half-sister is in the hospital. Hurt and disappointed, Vicky decides to spend that summer in Greece where she meets William Cottingdale. She unexpectedly becomes pregnant and they decide to move back to England and start a family. However, one day she leaves her child with him and his parents and never comes back.
The book was written from two perspectives, Vicky and Caro. Caro ends up employing Vicky and helps her with her own crises while dealing with her own.
Vicky was so relatable to me. When my first child was born, I was quite young and my mother-in-law was extremely overbearing. She would often tell me I was a bad mother just because I was not doing something the way she thought I should. When I read where Vicky’s mother-in-law, Barbara made Theo, Vicky’s son, call her ‘Mamma’ instead of Vicky, I had to stop reading for a while because I started to remember my own troubles with that. I never left my children but, honestly, I was able to understand why Vicky felt like she had no other choice.
I adored Caro. She was not perfect by a long shot, but she loved her children, Fergus and India. I found myself feeling quite sorry for her when I saw how India treated her. I do love how well she related to Vicky. I do not think Vicky would have been able to handle what she went through if not for Caro and Fergus.
I tried this book because I am also a Jodi Picoult fan and seeing her name in the blurb made me curious. Now I can honestly say I am a fan of Kerry Fisher and would definitely love to read more of her work.
Violence: None
Sexual Content: Very mild
Profanities: Very mild
Religious Themes: None
October 19, 2019
I've loved all the Kerry Fisher books I've read, and in The Mother I Could Have Been, she seems to be going from strength to strength, in a story which takes a piercing look at the mother/child relationship and the all too easy ways in which apparently unbridgeable rifts can develop. The reality of how the same events within a family can perceived in devastatingly different ways - unintended hurts festering for years - is portrayed to great effect.
The story focuses on two characters - Vicky and Caro, and I loved both of them - at least once Vicky had grown into herself a bit. Some of her earlier decisions were hard to stomach, yet it was possible to understand how as a young person she'd taken actions which she would come to profoundly regret. I was rooting for both of them - and for young Theo perhaps most of all - in their fractured family situations, although it was clear there could be no easy answers. And there aren't, but nevertheless the story is satisfying and ultimately hopeful. And just a cracking good read too. Loved it.
The story focuses on two characters - Vicky and Caro, and I loved both of them - at least once Vicky had grown into herself a bit. Some of her earlier decisions were hard to stomach, yet it was possible to understand how as a young person she'd taken actions which she would come to profoundly regret. I was rooting for both of them - and for young Theo perhaps most of all - in their fractured family situations, although it was clear there could be no easy answers. And there aren't, but nevertheless the story is satisfying and ultimately hopeful. And just a cracking good read too. Loved it.
October 6, 2019
'The Mother I Could Have Been' is a poignant, bittersweet portrayal of the frailty of life, the complexities of family dynamics, and the resiliency of the human spirit. In the wake of fractured relationships, Both Vicky and Caro had to face the consequences of their actions in order to pick up the pieces and bring their families together. It was satisfying to see that, not unlike real life, some issues did not have a happy ending and some conflicts were not resolved, but life carried on.
Midway through this book, I had to switch to the Voiceviewer audible reader because I had work to do but I just could not bear to step away from the story. This would be a wonderful addition to a book club reading list.
Thank you to NetGalley, Bookouture, and Kerry Fisher for an ARC of 'The Mother I Could Have Been' in exchange for an honest and voluntary review.
November 22, 2019
I love this author. She never disappoints. And this book - wow! Heartfelt and beautiful. It took me through a range of emotions and made me ponder as to what I would have done in similar circumstances. The characters are so real and they, along with their poignant story, will stay with me for a very long time. Beautifully written, this is a real treat of a book. Highly recommended to everyone.
March 30, 2020
Kerry Fisher never disappoints me! Finish this in one day and almost in one sitting.
After a few hit & miss with several books prior to this, finally I landed in a hit. Hopefully my journey will be smooth after this.
After a few hit & miss with several books prior to this, finally I landed in a hit. Hopefully my journey will be smooth after this.
April 3, 2024
I love Kerry Fisher’s writing so much. It always resonates with me. This book deals with abandonment, family drama and estrangement, and what happens when misunderstandings are never communicated. It’s also a good reminder that we all see and remember events through our own lens.
October 24, 2019
--I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are purely my own and not influenced in any way--
I think this is going to be one of those books that everyone else loves but I couldn't stand. Maybe it's because I'm young, not a mother and have zero desire to be a mother, or maybe it just didn't do it for me. Regardless, let's get to it:
I really liked the idea of this book and the cover is GORGEOUS. The idea of a mom vanishing and leaving her child while wondering why she would do that is exactly the sort of guilty pleasure read I like. Too bad I could not sympathize with Vicky AT ALL in this situation. Like, I get WHY she left, the book beats you over the head with it and attempts to make it seem justified, but for me, it wasn't a good enough reason. It seemed much more like a tantrum than anything a reasonable person would do, and maybe that plus her "woe is me" attitude ALL THROUGHOUT THE BOOK it's why I couldn't thoroughly enjoy it. Yeah, she kind of gets it in the end, but for me it was less a big character revelation and more a "and it took you this long to figure it out" thing. In addition, Barbara was a horrid person whose motivation was, again, supposed to be understandable: but having a hard time currently doesn't really excuse the actions of the past. I don't think she was really sorry, I think she was trying to clear her own conscious.
So, between a main character I couldn't really sympathize for and side character who was interesting but kind of psychopathic, what about the rest of it? I kind of liked Caro and her husband, Fergus was charming, and I'm thankful Theo didn't fall under that "precocious child" trope and was actually not that bad of a character to read about. The side plot with Caro and her daughter India was an interesting parallel to Vicky and her mother, however I felt the entire time like India's character suffered from informed wrongness and like we were supposed to see her as completely unreasonable and almost like a villain when in reality, we don't really know that much about her: maybe her complaints are valid, we don't know, but because she has strict rules for her kids and keeps trying to go no contact, she's the villain. Admittedly, she did deal in ultimatums and was relying a lot on blackmail, but maybe seeing everything from her perspective would paint an entirely different picture instead of the black and white one we got.
It was written fine, but the characters seemed kind of flat and like things just happened to them instead of them really doing anything to further the plot. This just didn't really do it for me, but that's not to say it won't for someone else. Clearly, I'm the odd one out, so you'll probably like it, but I just wasn't a big fan.
I think this is going to be one of those books that everyone else loves but I couldn't stand. Maybe it's because I'm young, not a mother and have zero desire to be a mother, or maybe it just didn't do it for me. Regardless, let's get to it:
I really liked the idea of this book and the cover is GORGEOUS. The idea of a mom vanishing and leaving her child while wondering why she would do that is exactly the sort of guilty pleasure read I like. Too bad I could not sympathize with Vicky AT ALL in this situation. Like, I get WHY she left, the book beats you over the head with it and attempts to make it seem justified, but for me, it wasn't a good enough reason. It seemed much more like a tantrum than anything a reasonable person would do, and maybe that plus her "woe is me" attitude ALL THROUGHOUT THE BOOK it's why I couldn't thoroughly enjoy it. Yeah, she kind of gets it in the end, but for me it was less a big character revelation and more a "and it took you this long to figure it out" thing. In addition, Barbara was a horrid person whose motivation was, again, supposed to be understandable: but having a hard time currently doesn't really excuse the actions of the past. I don't think she was really sorry, I think she was trying to clear her own conscious.
So, between a main character I couldn't really sympathize for and side character who was interesting but kind of psychopathic, what about the rest of it? I kind of liked Caro and her husband, Fergus was charming, and I'm thankful Theo didn't fall under that "precocious child" trope and was actually not that bad of a character to read about. The side plot with Caro and her daughter India was an interesting parallel to Vicky and her mother, however I felt the entire time like India's character suffered from informed wrongness and like we were supposed to see her as completely unreasonable and almost like a villain when in reality, we don't really know that much about her: maybe her complaints are valid, we don't know, but because she has strict rules for her kids and keeps trying to go no contact, she's the villain. Admittedly, she did deal in ultimatums and was relying a lot on blackmail, but maybe seeing everything from her perspective would paint an entirely different picture instead of the black and white one we got.
It was written fine, but the characters seemed kind of flat and like things just happened to them instead of them really doing anything to further the plot. This just didn't really do it for me, but that's not to say it won't for someone else. Clearly, I'm the odd one out, so you'll probably like it, but I just wasn't a big fan.
October 17, 2019
5 stars! I absolutely love Kerry Fisher’s writing and was so excited to receive this ARC. The Mother I Could Have Been explores the issues of family estrangement, different personalities within a family, misunderstandings and the pressures to be a perfect mother. The story is told mostly through the perspectives of young mother Vicky, who abandoned her young son and Caro, an older mother denied access to her grandchildren due to conflict with her own daughter. I’m hesitant to get too much into the plot as I don’t believe I will do it justice, however I will say that readers will be taken on an emotional journey as they discover the reasons why the characters made the decisions they did and be reminded that there are always several sides to every story- we cannot assume we always know what a person is thinking or feeling in any given situation.
This story was somewhat difficult for me as I have dealt with estrangement in my own family. Kerry Fisher reinforces the idea that life is short and so much time can be wasted on misunderstandings and issues that can possibly be overcome with communication and understanding. It amazes me how insightful Kerry is with the topics she writes about and I often find myself nodding along to the narrative thinking “yes! That is so spot on!”. She is clearly a very observant and thoughtful author which is why I love her books so much. Even readers who cannot personally relate to some of the themes in the book will appreciate the observations made relating to family dynamics.
Highly recommend The Mother I Could Have Been as well as any of her other books if you haven’t already read them. I’m a little sad now that I have to wait for her next book!
Thanks kindly to Netgalley, publisher and author for the opportunity to read and review this fabulous book.
This story was somewhat difficult for me as I have dealt with estrangement in my own family. Kerry Fisher reinforces the idea that life is short and so much time can be wasted on misunderstandings and issues that can possibly be overcome with communication and understanding. It amazes me how insightful Kerry is with the topics she writes about and I often find myself nodding along to the narrative thinking “yes! That is so spot on!”. She is clearly a very observant and thoughtful author which is why I love her books so much. Even readers who cannot personally relate to some of the themes in the book will appreciate the observations made relating to family dynamics.
Highly recommend The Mother I Could Have Been as well as any of her other books if you haven’t already read them. I’m a little sad now that I have to wait for her next book!
Thanks kindly to Netgalley, publisher and author for the opportunity to read and review this fabulous book.
November 8, 2019
Loved it!!! When I got to the end, I shouted NOOOOOOO!!! (In my head, not out loud.) I couldn't believe it was over. I want to continue on with the family and find out what happens with Vicky and if India ever ends the drama. For a story that I loved so much, I disliked many of the characters. Their horribleness just added to the story. Vicky was hard to like at first. I wished I could have learned more about Vicky's mom or got her perspective of what was happening. All we got was Vicky's side. I wished Vicky would have stood up to Barbara. She was Theo's mom and should have put her foot down. Vicky always ran away when things got hard. Eventually, she was able to become the mom that Theo needed. India was simply horrible. She needed everything her way. She treated her mother awful. I'm not sure how she blamed everything on her mom and forgave her dad. If I was Caro, I would have offered to pack her bags when she threatened to move to New Zealand. She only wanted her parents when she needed help. I loved Caro. She wanted the best for her family and seemed like a sweet woman. She was the perfect person to help Vicky and Theo. Fergus was wonderful with Theo. I would love to stay at Applewood Farm. The cottages sounded like a great place for a vacation, especially since you could bring your dog.
Definitely recommend the book. I couldn't put it down. I love how it alternated between Caro and Vicky. The book focuses on family relationships, the good, the bad and the ones you wouldn't mind strangling (India). I look forward to reading more books by the author.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bookouture through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
Definitely recommend the book. I couldn't put it down. I love how it alternated between Caro and Vicky. The book focuses on family relationships, the good, the bad and the ones you wouldn't mind strangling (India). I look forward to reading more books by the author.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bookouture through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
January 17, 2020
This is the second book by Kerry Fisher that I’ve now ‘read’ and unusually for me, both were in Audiobook format! Huge thanks to Kerry for this one because I entered a giveaway and received an Audiobook Credit in return to purchase her book. Every so often it’s great listening to a book especially when you’re not well and I loved spending a day recovering and exploring this one.
This is the kind of book where you just want to highlight a billion quotes because the wording is wonderful and hearing it narrated is even more of a treat. I fully expect that had I read this in written format it would have been finished in a day – it was that addictive.
The book carefully explores many relationships and family trauma. Many books do that but Kerry Fisher always has a talent for making hers unique and different. It’s not a romance, although there are elements, it’s more of a contemporary family fiction. There is raw emotion from almost every page – yet Kerry manages to have you laughing in the next chapter as well. For me, laughter and tears are the ingredients of a great book.
Check out my blog for more book related posts and to enquire about future reviews, blog tours and cover reveals. Are you looking for a Bookish environment to talk all things books? Then look no further than The Fiction Cafe - don't forget to answer the membership questions in order to join.
This is the kind of book where you just want to highlight a billion quotes because the wording is wonderful and hearing it narrated is even more of a treat. I fully expect that had I read this in written format it would have been finished in a day – it was that addictive.
The book carefully explores many relationships and family trauma. Many books do that but Kerry Fisher always has a talent for making hers unique and different. It’s not a romance, although there are elements, it’s more of a contemporary family fiction. There is raw emotion from almost every page – yet Kerry manages to have you laughing in the next chapter as well. For me, laughter and tears are the ingredients of a great book.
Check out my blog for more book related posts and to enquire about future reviews, blog tours and cover reveals. Are you looking for a Bookish environment to talk all things books? Then look no further than The Fiction Cafe - don't forget to answer the membership questions in order to join.
June 26, 2022
Lifetime would turn down this book as too unrealistic. There are two dogs in this book. They don't have any lines and play a very minor role but they are the only likeable characters in the book. I have often stayed up all night to read a book that I loved. This is the first time I have stayed up all night to finish a book that was awful. I had to free my Kindle from it's presence. Over the top. Loose plot repeated by multiple characters. People sabotaging their lives with no real explanation for why. Just no.
May 17, 2023
This book was not good. The characters were unconvincing and the motivations for their (bad) behaviour were not believable in any way.
Sorry but it's one to skip
Sorry but it's one to skip
January 7, 2020
This is the first Kerry Fisher book I have read and I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised. I really and truly enjoyed it. An nice and easy read, the pace was steady, the story emotional and the ending heartwarming. Although I wouldn't classify THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN in the Mystery/Thriller genre, it does has an element of mystery to it. But I would shelve it with the contemporary, general fiction or even chick lit.
THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN is Vicky's story. She grew up not knowing her father and when her mother remarried to a man who didn't particularly like his new wife's daughter then went on to have two more children. Whilst her mother played happy families with husband Ian and children Joey and Emily, Vicky felt like the odd one out. Her mother always seemed to have more time for her new family rather than she did for Vicky.
2009. When Vicky graduated university, her mum rang at the last minute with the excuse that Emily had taken a fall and she was at the hospital; that she was sorry but wouldn't be able to make her graduation. Angered that once again her mother proved she didn't really want her, Vicky decided that when it came time for her to have a family she would show them the love and attention she had always wanted but never received. She would give her children what she had missed out on.
Then when her flatmate's family invited her to join them on a trip to Corfu, Vicky jumped at the chance to escape her troubles with her own family. But two weeks into the holiday, she begins to feel her presence really isn't wanted particularly when she overhears her friend Liv tell her mother she "didn't think she would be spending the whole holiday with us"!
So Vicky makes her escape and finds herself at beachside bar run by the charismatic Freddie. On a whim, she asks him for a job in exchange for board and lodging and by the end of the day Vicky had moved herself into the attic room overtop of the bar. The locals loved her, the tourists also loved her and soon Freddie did too. It wasn't long before Vicky left the attic room and moved in with Freddie. Together they enjoyed a free spirited relationship and when Liv's family left Corfu, Vicky found herself not wanting to go back home. So she stayed.
Then one day, Vicky is enjoying the solitude of a secluded beach the locals frequent...but not generally tourists...when she meets William. They spend a glorious day and evening together and he walks her home to the bar, giving her his number should she ever wish to see him again. Despite being with Freddie, Vicky can't stop thinking about William and before long she moves out of the room she shared with Freddie and moves in with William.
Vicky and William fall madly in love and they love their life in Corfu, and aren't looking to return home to the UK in the foreseeable future. That is, until Vicky discovers she is pregnant and everything changes. After a scare in her second trimester, Vicky and William decide to move back to the UK with William's family where she is welcomed by his mother and father.
When Vicky gives birth to baby Theo, she is filled with doubts about her abilities, which are more often than not, highlighted by William's mother Barbara. Vicky trusted Barbara to know best as she hadn't a clue on how to raise a child, but soon those subtleties turn into nastiness and Vicky finds herself at loggerheads with not just Barbara, but William too, who doesn't seem the least bit interested and tired of her constant complaints about his mother. Not only that, Theo didn't seem to like her and would scream whenever she came near...and yet he would calm in Barbara's arms.
But one Christmas, when Theo was 2, was the last straw. Barbara once again asserted her authority over Vicky for little Theo's attention and when he took a tumble with his new gift, Vicky was shocked to hear Theo cry "Don't want Vicky! Want Mamma!" Vicky was incensed and confronted Barbara about teaching him to call her "mamma". But Barbara brushed it off as "Theo's choice...short for grandma". When she tried to talk to William about it, he was more interested in his phone than what was going on and told her to calm down. Furious, Vicky changed into more comfortable clothes, jumped in her car and left...and she never went back.
She had intended to return...but every time she tried she found she just couldn't face William or his mother in what would be another "battle of wills". In the end, she stayed away for about six months before she decided to speak to William face to face. But when she approached the school where Barbara had insisted on Theo going to, she saw William kissing a tall blonde woman...and even worse, Theo seemed to love her too! It seemed their lives had moved on without her...and she wasn't even missed. Not even by her son.
So Vicky turned her car around and drove away.
Devon, 2016. Caro Campbell and her husband Gilbert ran a small holiday business with their son Fergus. Caro had a daughter India who, for all intents and purposes, was a complete pain in the proverbial! That woman would find fault in anything and everything! Caro loved both her children but India could never see it.
On New Year's Eve, India had left her three children - Ivy, Rowan and Hollie - in Caro's charge with strict instructions that she must follow to the letter. However, it was New Years and Caro was entertaining guests whilst the children were watching television in the den. By the time India and her husband returned early, Ivy was drunk and Rowan and Hollie had fallen asleep in the den in front of inappropriate TV programmes. India was livid and accused her mother of being disrespectful to them and their wishes. Some weeks later, Caro received a letter from her daughter cutting off all ties with them since they "could not be bothered to respect their wishes". Caro is gutted. India has always been difficult but she still loves her, though India fails to see that.
However, the business has been suffering recently and Fergus suggests hiring someone to manage it so he can get on with doing the hands-on work of redecorating the cottages. Enter Vicky her and dog Lionel.
Vicky is soon at home at Applefield Cottages, and although she says little, she is good at her job and it isn't long before Caro finds they cannot do without her.
When an investigator knocks at Caro's door one day looking for Vicky, bringing news she does not want to hear, Caro begins to see the cracks in Vicky's demeanour as the young woman breaks down and opens up to her. Soon the two women become fast friends and while both of them are mothers, both find themselves in a situation they can see no way out of.
THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN begins as Vicky's story but ends up Caro's as well. It is moving, it is tragic, it is heartbreaking, it is emotional. A story about life, love and loss. About motherhood and relationships. It is filled with raw emotion, devastation and heartbreak but by the end it is so heartwarming you will be left with an afterglow.
There were times I could have gladly slapped Vicky, but for the most part, I could understand where she was coming from as for much of my life I have felt like the odd one out or unwanted. So I could relate to how she was feeling...and although I didn't agree with her walking out on her son, I could totally get why she did. Had I been in her situation with a mother-in-law like that I probably would be tempted to do the same thing. Vicky had no self-esteem, no confidence and no real value of herself. Is it no wonder she could easily be manipulated?
The two people I could not stand the most were Barbara and India. Both were filled with a jealously so fierce though they reacted in vastly different ways. Sometimes I wondered how Vicky could not see through Barbara's subtleties...but then she had no self confidence and she trusted Barbara. And William? I could have gladly throttled him for being so indifferent and uncaring to Vicky's emotions. So what if he thought she was being over-the-top? His job was to protect her and Theo. He only served to drive a wedge between himself and Vicky.
I really loved the backdrop of Corfu and found myself wanting to stay there! But the story I really enjoyed was Caro's. I don't know...I think I found Caro an endearing and heartwarming character. I could feel myself enveloped in her arms and the love radiate from her...I don't know why her own daughter couldn't.
THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN has such heartwarming moments it made this book such a feel-good read, despite the heartbreak at the centre of both stories. Vicky may not have been entirely likable all of the time, she wasn't an emotional person and kept her feelings hidden, but she had a deep love for her son that she truly thought he would be better off without her. She had so much love but didn't know how to show it.
As Vicky's and Caro's stories intertwine, THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN draws us in from the first pages and keeps up engaged right up until the last, as we journey through tears and joys, regrets and heartbreak, loss and second chances.
I thoroughly enjoyed this journey and will not hesitate to take up another of Kerry Fisher's. I urge you to pick up a copy of THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN - you will not be disappointed.
I would like to thank #KerryFisher, #NetGalley and #Bookouture for an ARC of #TheMotherICouldHaveBeen in exchange for an honest review.
This review appears on my blog at https://stinathebookaholic.blogspot.com/.
THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN is Vicky's story. She grew up not knowing her father and when her mother remarried to a man who didn't particularly like his new wife's daughter then went on to have two more children. Whilst her mother played happy families with husband Ian and children Joey and Emily, Vicky felt like the odd one out. Her mother always seemed to have more time for her new family rather than she did for Vicky.
2009. When Vicky graduated university, her mum rang at the last minute with the excuse that Emily had taken a fall and she was at the hospital; that she was sorry but wouldn't be able to make her graduation. Angered that once again her mother proved she didn't really want her, Vicky decided that when it came time for her to have a family she would show them the love and attention she had always wanted but never received. She would give her children what she had missed out on.
Then when her flatmate's family invited her to join them on a trip to Corfu, Vicky jumped at the chance to escape her troubles with her own family. But two weeks into the holiday, she begins to feel her presence really isn't wanted particularly when she overhears her friend Liv tell her mother she "didn't think she would be spending the whole holiday with us"!
So Vicky makes her escape and finds herself at beachside bar run by the charismatic Freddie. On a whim, she asks him for a job in exchange for board and lodging and by the end of the day Vicky had moved herself into the attic room overtop of the bar. The locals loved her, the tourists also loved her and soon Freddie did too. It wasn't long before Vicky left the attic room and moved in with Freddie. Together they enjoyed a free spirited relationship and when Liv's family left Corfu, Vicky found herself not wanting to go back home. So she stayed.
Then one day, Vicky is enjoying the solitude of a secluded beach the locals frequent...but not generally tourists...when she meets William. They spend a glorious day and evening together and he walks her home to the bar, giving her his number should she ever wish to see him again. Despite being with Freddie, Vicky can't stop thinking about William and before long she moves out of the room she shared with Freddie and moves in with William.
Vicky and William fall madly in love and they love their life in Corfu, and aren't looking to return home to the UK in the foreseeable future. That is, until Vicky discovers she is pregnant and everything changes. After a scare in her second trimester, Vicky and William decide to move back to the UK with William's family where she is welcomed by his mother and father.
When Vicky gives birth to baby Theo, she is filled with doubts about her abilities, which are more often than not, highlighted by William's mother Barbara. Vicky trusted Barbara to know best as she hadn't a clue on how to raise a child, but soon those subtleties turn into nastiness and Vicky finds herself at loggerheads with not just Barbara, but William too, who doesn't seem the least bit interested and tired of her constant complaints about his mother. Not only that, Theo didn't seem to like her and would scream whenever she came near...and yet he would calm in Barbara's arms.
But one Christmas, when Theo was 2, was the last straw. Barbara once again asserted her authority over Vicky for little Theo's attention and when he took a tumble with his new gift, Vicky was shocked to hear Theo cry "Don't want Vicky! Want Mamma!" Vicky was incensed and confronted Barbara about teaching him to call her "mamma". But Barbara brushed it off as "Theo's choice...short for grandma". When she tried to talk to William about it, he was more interested in his phone than what was going on and told her to calm down. Furious, Vicky changed into more comfortable clothes, jumped in her car and left...and she never went back.
She had intended to return...but every time she tried she found she just couldn't face William or his mother in what would be another "battle of wills". In the end, she stayed away for about six months before she decided to speak to William face to face. But when she approached the school where Barbara had insisted on Theo going to, she saw William kissing a tall blonde woman...and even worse, Theo seemed to love her too! It seemed their lives had moved on without her...and she wasn't even missed. Not even by her son.
So Vicky turned her car around and drove away.
Devon, 2016. Caro Campbell and her husband Gilbert ran a small holiday business with their son Fergus. Caro had a daughter India who, for all intents and purposes, was a complete pain in the proverbial! That woman would find fault in anything and everything! Caro loved both her children but India could never see it.
On New Year's Eve, India had left her three children - Ivy, Rowan and Hollie - in Caro's charge with strict instructions that she must follow to the letter. However, it was New Years and Caro was entertaining guests whilst the children were watching television in the den. By the time India and her husband returned early, Ivy was drunk and Rowan and Hollie had fallen asleep in the den in front of inappropriate TV programmes. India was livid and accused her mother of being disrespectful to them and their wishes. Some weeks later, Caro received a letter from her daughter cutting off all ties with them since they "could not be bothered to respect their wishes". Caro is gutted. India has always been difficult but she still loves her, though India fails to see that.
However, the business has been suffering recently and Fergus suggests hiring someone to manage it so he can get on with doing the hands-on work of redecorating the cottages. Enter Vicky her and dog Lionel.
Vicky is soon at home at Applefield Cottages, and although she says little, she is good at her job and it isn't long before Caro finds they cannot do without her.
When an investigator knocks at Caro's door one day looking for Vicky, bringing news she does not want to hear, Caro begins to see the cracks in Vicky's demeanour as the young woman breaks down and opens up to her. Soon the two women become fast friends and while both of them are mothers, both find themselves in a situation they can see no way out of.
THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN begins as Vicky's story but ends up Caro's as well. It is moving, it is tragic, it is heartbreaking, it is emotional. A story about life, love and loss. About motherhood and relationships. It is filled with raw emotion, devastation and heartbreak but by the end it is so heartwarming you will be left with an afterglow.
There were times I could have gladly slapped Vicky, but for the most part, I could understand where she was coming from as for much of my life I have felt like the odd one out or unwanted. So I could relate to how she was feeling...and although I didn't agree with her walking out on her son, I could totally get why she did. Had I been in her situation with a mother-in-law like that I probably would be tempted to do the same thing. Vicky had no self-esteem, no confidence and no real value of herself. Is it no wonder she could easily be manipulated?
The two people I could not stand the most were Barbara and India. Both were filled with a jealously so fierce though they reacted in vastly different ways. Sometimes I wondered how Vicky could not see through Barbara's subtleties...but then she had no self confidence and she trusted Barbara. And William? I could have gladly throttled him for being so indifferent and uncaring to Vicky's emotions. So what if he thought she was being over-the-top? His job was to protect her and Theo. He only served to drive a wedge between himself and Vicky.
I really loved the backdrop of Corfu and found myself wanting to stay there! But the story I really enjoyed was Caro's. I don't know...I think I found Caro an endearing and heartwarming character. I could feel myself enveloped in her arms and the love radiate from her...I don't know why her own daughter couldn't.
THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN has such heartwarming moments it made this book such a feel-good read, despite the heartbreak at the centre of both stories. Vicky may not have been entirely likable all of the time, she wasn't an emotional person and kept her feelings hidden, but she had a deep love for her son that she truly thought he would be better off without her. She had so much love but didn't know how to show it.
As Vicky's and Caro's stories intertwine, THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN draws us in from the first pages and keeps up engaged right up until the last, as we journey through tears and joys, regrets and heartbreak, loss and second chances.
I thoroughly enjoyed this journey and will not hesitate to take up another of Kerry Fisher's. I urge you to pick up a copy of THE MOTHER I COULD HAVE BEEN - you will not be disappointed.
I would like to thank #KerryFisher, #NetGalley and #Bookouture for an ARC of #TheMotherICouldHaveBeen in exchange for an honest review.
This review appears on my blog at https://stinathebookaholic.blogspot.com/.
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