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How to Get Things Really Flat
I Think, Therefore I Drop My Clothes in a Heap...
Andrew Martin is surprisingly well qualified to write a guide to housework for men. Not only is he a man himself, but he does a lot about the house. On purely humanitarian grounds he recently took over some of the ironing from his wife; he then branched out into bath-cleaning, "specialist" dusting, and washing up after dinner (when he wasn't going out).
For the purposes of this book, Martin has interviewed many experts, and can thus provide answers to such burning questions as:
Do I Need to Bother about the Controls on the Iron?
Is Dust Dangerous?
and
What is All That Stuff at the Bottom of the Laundry Basket?
Andrew Martin is surprisingly well qualified to write a guide to housework for men. Not only is he a man himself, but he does a lot about the house. On purely humanitarian grounds he recently took over some of the ironing from his wife; he then branched out into bath-cleaning, "specialist" dusting, and washing up after dinner (when he wasn't going out).
For the purposes of this book, Martin has interviewed many experts, and can thus provide answers to such burning questions as:
Do I Need to Bother about the Controls on the Iron?
Is Dust Dangerous?
and
What is All That Stuff at the Bottom of the Laundry Basket?
- GenresNonfictionHumorEbooks
240 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2008
52 people are currently reading
114 people want to read
About the author
Andrew Martin
191 books105 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.
Andrew Martin (born 6 July 1962) is an English novelist and journalist.
Martin was brought up in Yorkshire, studied at the University of Oxford and qualified as a barrister. He has since worked as a freelance journalist for a number of publications while writing novels, starting with Bilton, a comic novel about journalists, and The Bobby Dazzlers, a comic novel set in the North of England, for which he was named Spectator Young Writer of the Year. His series of detective novels about Jim Stringer, a railwayman reassigned to the North Eastern Railway Police in Edwardian England, includes The Necropolis Railway, The Blackpool Highflyer, The Lost Luggage Porter, Murder at Deviation Junction and Death on a Branch Line. He has also written the non-fiction book; How to Get Things Really Flat: A Man's Guide to Ironing, Dusting and Other Household Arts.
Andrew Martin (born 6 July 1962) is an English novelist and journalist.
Martin was brought up in Yorkshire, studied at the University of Oxford and qualified as a barrister. He has since worked as a freelance journalist for a number of publications while writing novels, starting with Bilton, a comic novel about journalists, and The Bobby Dazzlers, a comic novel set in the North of England, for which he was named Spectator Young Writer of the Year. His series of detective novels about Jim Stringer, a railwayman reassigned to the North Eastern Railway Police in Edwardian England, includes The Necropolis Railway, The Blackpool Highflyer, The Lost Luggage Porter, Murder at Deviation Junction and Death on a Branch Line. He has also written the non-fiction book; How to Get Things Really Flat: A Man's Guide to Ironing, Dusting and Other Household Arts.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
May 6, 2015
There is a book I hope to sell a lot of for Valentine's Day, Porn for Women. It features hot guys doing the housework, just eye candy, just a laugh. But imagine if you had a hot guy who really did the housework, now that would be a real-turn on. And here is author Andrew Martin presenting himself to you as a sex and housework object worthy of your adoration. Get out your vacuum cleaner Andrew and turn me on!
A long time ago I was told that for a happy life I should always choose a man with a lower tolerance for dirt than I had. Well reader I married two of them. Lovely men, could clean and cook, whilst I sighed over having to go and do the accounts for the week on the computer. Ah poor me, three hours in front of the computer when he 'only' has to clean the house :-D. I guess Mrs. Martin is a happy camper too.
A long time ago I was told that for a happy life I should always choose a man with a lower tolerance for dirt than I had. Well reader I married two of them. Lovely men, could clean and cook, whilst I sighed over having to go and do the accounts for the week on the computer. Ah poor me, three hours in front of the computer when he 'only' has to clean the house :-D. I guess Mrs. Martin is a happy camper too.
June 10, 2010
Have you ever seen the novelty book called Porn for Women? It features good-looking men doing housework with captions such as "Is this how you want the shirts folded?" or "I like to get started on the dishes right away."
How To Get Things Really Flat by Andrew Martin is the literary equivalent of Porn for Women ... except without the photos. Imagine an entire book dedicated to the art and "joys" of housekeeping written entirely by a man and for men!
Make no mistake ... this is not a dry guide to doing housework with charts and graphs and other things you might expect from a man. Instead, this is a humorous guide to housework that includes practical housekeeping tips but is primarily for enjoyment and entertainment. The book has 11 chapters, which each focusing on a different aspect of cleaning. Just reading some of the chapter headings will give you an idea of the book's tone.
* Chapter 3: Ironing includes sections such as "Do I Need To Bother With the Controls On the Iron?" and "What Is the Worst Thing That Can Happen During Ironing?"
* Chapter 4: Washing Up includes a section called "How To Load A Dishwasher Without Causing Comment."
* Chapter 6: Dust focuses on topics such as "During Dusting, Where Does the Dust Go?" and "Dusting Things That Are Really Hard To Dust."
* Chapter 7: Cleaning covers topics as diverse as "Toilet Cleaning: An Overview" and "How To Impress People with Bicarbonate of Soda."
* Chapter 8: The Weekly Shop includes sections on "Characteristics of the Male Shopper" and "I Suppose I've Got to Put the Food Away Now"
* Chapter 9: Doing Christmas, which includes a section called "What's the Least Amount of Time I Can Spend on Writing and Sending Christmas Cards?"
* Chapter 10: Advanced Housework focuses on things such as "Exotic Cleaning," "Moths" and "Household Aesthetics: A Brief Introduction for the Tasteless Man."
Martin has a droll writing style that fits the material perfectly. Although the book contains plenty of practical and useful information, Martin's approach is always amusing and typically male. After all, who else but a man would describe grocery shopping and the putting away of groceries like this:
"You come home with the food. You drop the bags in a heap just inside the front door. You call out, “I’ve done the shopping, now you put it away!” and then you stomp off and check your e-mails. It’s a natural reaction to the shame of having spent half an hour in the supermarket. I mean, to all intents and purposes you’ve just taken a carving knife and cut your balls off. But there are double brownie points for the man who not only does the shopping but also puts it away, which is, in any case, satisfying work. You’ve stocked up on supplies and you’re ready for anything: sudden illness, heavy snow, the withdrawal of your credit card. In the back of my mind, as I pack the shelves of my fridge, I’m Shackleton’s quartermaster, stocking the Endeavour for its long voyage south."
Although women may not quite envision themselves as Shackleton's quartermaster after grocery shopping, I very much related to what got Martin in trouble before he learned how to properly grocery shop. In fact, I was unable to go grocery shopping unescorted for over a year because of the very same mistakes Martin made:
"My own strategy would be to seek consolation in the purchase of little treats. Having control of the food budget would go to my head, and I’d buy all the food prohibited to me in childhood: miniature chocolate Swiss rolls, Nesquik, a bumper bag of Frazzles. Even as I did this, I would be able to picture my wife pulling these items out of the bags at home and sternly inquiring, “You did remember the garbage bags, I hope?” Not having planned my shopping in advance, I’d be afflicted by a fatal whimsicality. I’d see Camp Coffee and think, Are they still making that stuff? They had it in the war. It’s made from chicory. It’s a nice-looking bottle—almost a museum piece. I’ll buy some and tell the boys all about it.Or I’d catch sight of one of those sachets of herbs called bouquet garni and half remember a recipe for stew that involved it. I’d then go looking for the other ingredients, perhaps giving up halfway through, at which point I’d notice that I couldn’t fit any more food in my trolley, or that things were starting to fall out of the bloody thing. I’d look at other people’s trolleys and see that they were all bigger than mine, and it would dawn on me that I’d taken one of the medium-sized trolleys, one of those designed to be not quite big enough to hold a full weekly shop for a family of four."
As you might guess from the previous excerpt, Martin is British. Fortunately, he's thoughtfully provided a guide for American readers unfamiliar with British terms like trolley (i.e., a shopping cart). Another quintessentially British moment was the extreme politeness Martin advocates when a guest spills red wine on your rug at a party:
"Obviously, the truly correct and gracious thing to do immediately after someone has spilled red wine in your house is to offer them another glass. No guest ought to be left standing around, holding an empty glass and doing their best to apologize while the host pats away at the carpet on hands and knees, saying over and over again, “Ruined . . . absolutely bloody ruined!”
By the way, according to Martin's extensive research, the most effective way to remove a red wine stain from a carpet is to blot it immediately with a paper towel and then to use soda water for the rest.
This book was just a delight to read. I was smiling throughout (except when I was jotting down ideas to help me improve my own housecleaning, which leaves something to be desired). I've got to share a few more excerpts with you that particularly amused me or had me shaking my head in agreement:
"There may well be a lot of stainless steel in your kitchen, for example. This has been fashionable since the 1980s, and gives you kitchen the charm of . . . well, of an operating theater, or perhaps an abattoir."
"Incidentally, I never waste money on buying big eggs, never having heard anybody complain, “These eggs are too small.”
The only section that doesn't deal directly with housework is the section on surviving Christmas, which Marin justifies like this:
"Sartre said that hell is other people. Christmas is other people plus housework. It is child care, washing, cleaning, tidying, and cooking with tremendously strong deadline pressure, which is why it merits a chapter here."
This particular chapter had me highlighting passages all over the place. Not to seem like a Grinch or anything, but how apt are these thoughts on the most stressful of holidays?
"... I have often thought that if Christmas could be somehow reclassified, moved from the category of pleasure and put into that of ordeal, then it might paradoxically be more enjoyable. A man ought to regard it as a test of his resourcefulness, diplomacy, tolerance, and advance planning: as a kind of giant time-and-motion problem, the aim being maximal effectiveness for minimal grief."
"The bottom line is that most people couldn’t care less whether you send them a Christmas card or not. It took me years to learn this, and I’d become involved in games of psychological “chicken” (except that they were played only on my side): “Ought I to send X a card? He hasn’t been in touch for ages. I’ll wait and see whether he sends me one. . . .” The day of last Christmas mailing arrives, and still no card from X. . . . “He must have taken against me in a big way. Why? Was it that time that I laughed at his haircut? You can’t legislate for spontaneous expression of emotion; he should know that. . . . Anyway, I won’t be sending him one ever again.” And then the next day, a card arrives from X: “Sorry not to have been in touch this year. I’ve been laid low with rather a serious illness, but I’m on the mend now. Drink soon? It’d be great to meet up.” On these occasions, I used to wish that it was legitimate practice to send what might be called a post-Christmas card, expressing the sentiment: “Sorry I couldn’t be bothered to send you a Christmas card, but you’ve been uppermost in my mind all year.”
My Final Recommendation
If you are a woman: My suggestion is to get a copy for yourself, read it, enjoy it, and then regift it to the man in your life with some relevant sections highlighted for his perusal. (Suck him in with the funny parts first before going for the kill.)
If you are a man: My suggestion is to get a copy for yourself, read it and put at least some of the information to work in your household. I pretty much guarantee that the result will be a more relaxed and happy partner who just might be willing to engage in amorous relations with you more often. After all, you're freeing her up by doing the laundry, ironing and grocery shopping now!
How To Get Things Really Flat by Andrew Martin is the literary equivalent of Porn for Women ... except without the photos. Imagine an entire book dedicated to the art and "joys" of housekeeping written entirely by a man and for men!
Make no mistake ... this is not a dry guide to doing housework with charts and graphs and other things you might expect from a man. Instead, this is a humorous guide to housework that includes practical housekeeping tips but is primarily for enjoyment and entertainment. The book has 11 chapters, which each focusing on a different aspect of cleaning. Just reading some of the chapter headings will give you an idea of the book's tone.
* Chapter 3: Ironing includes sections such as "Do I Need To Bother With the Controls On the Iron?" and "What Is the Worst Thing That Can Happen During Ironing?"
* Chapter 4: Washing Up includes a section called "How To Load A Dishwasher Without Causing Comment."
* Chapter 6: Dust focuses on topics such as "During Dusting, Where Does the Dust Go?" and "Dusting Things That Are Really Hard To Dust."
* Chapter 7: Cleaning covers topics as diverse as "Toilet Cleaning: An Overview" and "How To Impress People with Bicarbonate of Soda."
* Chapter 8: The Weekly Shop includes sections on "Characteristics of the Male Shopper" and "I Suppose I've Got to Put the Food Away Now"
* Chapter 9: Doing Christmas, which includes a section called "What's the Least Amount of Time I Can Spend on Writing and Sending Christmas Cards?"
* Chapter 10: Advanced Housework focuses on things such as "Exotic Cleaning," "Moths" and "Household Aesthetics: A Brief Introduction for the Tasteless Man."
Martin has a droll writing style that fits the material perfectly. Although the book contains plenty of practical and useful information, Martin's approach is always amusing and typically male. After all, who else but a man would describe grocery shopping and the putting away of groceries like this:
"You come home with the food. You drop the bags in a heap just inside the front door. You call out, “I’ve done the shopping, now you put it away!” and then you stomp off and check your e-mails. It’s a natural reaction to the shame of having spent half an hour in the supermarket. I mean, to all intents and purposes you’ve just taken a carving knife and cut your balls off. But there are double brownie points for the man who not only does the shopping but also puts it away, which is, in any case, satisfying work. You’ve stocked up on supplies and you’re ready for anything: sudden illness, heavy snow, the withdrawal of your credit card. In the back of my mind, as I pack the shelves of my fridge, I’m Shackleton’s quartermaster, stocking the Endeavour for its long voyage south."
Although women may not quite envision themselves as Shackleton's quartermaster after grocery shopping, I very much related to what got Martin in trouble before he learned how to properly grocery shop. In fact, I was unable to go grocery shopping unescorted for over a year because of the very same mistakes Martin made:
"My own strategy would be to seek consolation in the purchase of little treats. Having control of the food budget would go to my head, and I’d buy all the food prohibited to me in childhood: miniature chocolate Swiss rolls, Nesquik, a bumper bag of Frazzles. Even as I did this, I would be able to picture my wife pulling these items out of the bags at home and sternly inquiring, “You did remember the garbage bags, I hope?” Not having planned my shopping in advance, I’d be afflicted by a fatal whimsicality. I’d see Camp Coffee and think, Are they still making that stuff? They had it in the war. It’s made from chicory. It’s a nice-looking bottle—almost a museum piece. I’ll buy some and tell the boys all about it.Or I’d catch sight of one of those sachets of herbs called bouquet garni and half remember a recipe for stew that involved it. I’d then go looking for the other ingredients, perhaps giving up halfway through, at which point I’d notice that I couldn’t fit any more food in my trolley, or that things were starting to fall out of the bloody thing. I’d look at other people’s trolleys and see that they were all bigger than mine, and it would dawn on me that I’d taken one of the medium-sized trolleys, one of those designed to be not quite big enough to hold a full weekly shop for a family of four."
As you might guess from the previous excerpt, Martin is British. Fortunately, he's thoughtfully provided a guide for American readers unfamiliar with British terms like trolley (i.e., a shopping cart). Another quintessentially British moment was the extreme politeness Martin advocates when a guest spills red wine on your rug at a party:
"Obviously, the truly correct and gracious thing to do immediately after someone has spilled red wine in your house is to offer them another glass. No guest ought to be left standing around, holding an empty glass and doing their best to apologize while the host pats away at the carpet on hands and knees, saying over and over again, “Ruined . . . absolutely bloody ruined!”
By the way, according to Martin's extensive research, the most effective way to remove a red wine stain from a carpet is to blot it immediately with a paper towel and then to use soda water for the rest.
This book was just a delight to read. I was smiling throughout (except when I was jotting down ideas to help me improve my own housecleaning, which leaves something to be desired). I've got to share a few more excerpts with you that particularly amused me or had me shaking my head in agreement:
"There may well be a lot of stainless steel in your kitchen, for example. This has been fashionable since the 1980s, and gives you kitchen the charm of . . . well, of an operating theater, or perhaps an abattoir."
"Incidentally, I never waste money on buying big eggs, never having heard anybody complain, “These eggs are too small.”
The only section that doesn't deal directly with housework is the section on surviving Christmas, which Marin justifies like this:
"Sartre said that hell is other people. Christmas is other people plus housework. It is child care, washing, cleaning, tidying, and cooking with tremendously strong deadline pressure, which is why it merits a chapter here."
This particular chapter had me highlighting passages all over the place. Not to seem like a Grinch or anything, but how apt are these thoughts on the most stressful of holidays?
"... I have often thought that if Christmas could be somehow reclassified, moved from the category of pleasure and put into that of ordeal, then it might paradoxically be more enjoyable. A man ought to regard it as a test of his resourcefulness, diplomacy, tolerance, and advance planning: as a kind of giant time-and-motion problem, the aim being maximal effectiveness for minimal grief."
"The bottom line is that most people couldn’t care less whether you send them a Christmas card or not. It took me years to learn this, and I’d become involved in games of psychological “chicken” (except that they were played only on my side): “Ought I to send X a card? He hasn’t been in touch for ages. I’ll wait and see whether he sends me one. . . .” The day of last Christmas mailing arrives, and still no card from X. . . . “He must have taken against me in a big way. Why? Was it that time that I laughed at his haircut? You can’t legislate for spontaneous expression of emotion; he should know that. . . . Anyway, I won’t be sending him one ever again.” And then the next day, a card arrives from X: “Sorry not to have been in touch this year. I’ve been laid low with rather a serious illness, but I’m on the mend now. Drink soon? It’d be great to meet up.” On these occasions, I used to wish that it was legitimate practice to send what might be called a post-Christmas card, expressing the sentiment: “Sorry I couldn’t be bothered to send you a Christmas card, but you’ve been uppermost in my mind all year.”
My Final Recommendation
If you are a woman: My suggestion is to get a copy for yourself, read it, enjoy it, and then regift it to the man in your life with some relevant sections highlighted for his perusal. (Suck him in with the funny parts first before going for the kill.)
If you are a man: My suggestion is to get a copy for yourself, read it and put at least some of the information to work in your household. I pretty much guarantee that the result will be a more relaxed and happy partner who just might be willing to engage in amorous relations with you more often. After all, you're freeing her up by doing the laundry, ironing and grocery shopping now!
December 21, 2020
Entertaining book on house-keeping written by a man for other men. I did pick up a few things about household cleaning supplies that I hadn't known before, but mostly I read it for the fun of Martin's mildly snarky comments on keeping a house livable.
May 20, 2011
The book was hilaaaaaaarious! It was totally helpful with household tips... and I'm such a housewife (it's disgusting) so I thought it was completely awesome. People... not just "clueless men"... who don't know much about house work would really benefit from the book.
Martin writes about his personal experiences, and makes the not-so-awesome house keeper feel much better about themselves since they know that they aren't the only idiot when it comes to household work. The main purpose is for entertainment--not a how-to-guide to house work.
He writes in the perspective of a "typical man," and the traits reminded me of Jade. Jade would not know how to make a good housewife. :P There are times when he discribes his grocery shopping; so many friends have told me that when they are on their own, they need to take me grocery shopping with them.
And Martin is British! If you read the book, which I highly reccommend you do, then read it with British narration. SOOOO awesome.
Overall I was laughing, or at least smiling, the entire read. The book is an extremely entertaining way to learn a few household tips... and maybe even keep family relationships happier. I won't spoil anything. Just read it!
I enjoyed it.
READ IT. :)
Martin writes about his personal experiences, and makes the not-so-awesome house keeper feel much better about themselves since they know that they aren't the only idiot when it comes to household work. The main purpose is for entertainment--not a how-to-guide to house work.
He writes in the perspective of a "typical man," and the traits reminded me of Jade. Jade would not know how to make a good housewife. :P There are times when he discribes his grocery shopping; so many friends have told me that when they are on their own, they need to take me grocery shopping with them.
And Martin is British! If you read the book, which I highly reccommend you do, then read it with British narration. SOOOO awesome.
Overall I was laughing, or at least smiling, the entire read. The book is an extremely entertaining way to learn a few household tips... and maybe even keep family relationships happier. I won't spoil anything. Just read it!
I enjoyed it.
READ IT. :)
June 16, 2018
Bah, I thought his might be an old soldier's efficiency type cleaning book. Instead it's about about an emasculated guy and his love of cleaning because he didn't thing his wife was anal retentive enough. Apparently he got this from his father. Not exactly a Nick Offerman type.
Ddin't really have any good cleaning tips that you couldn't get from the free booklet when you subscribed to Consumer Reports. Come to think of it, that was way better.
This book isn't about liberating yourself from the drudgery of cleaning. It's about the glory and enjoyment of it. Andrew Martin needs to get a hobby.
Ddin't really have any good cleaning tips that you couldn't get from the free booklet when you subscribed to Consumer Reports. Come to think of it, that was way better.
This book isn't about liberating yourself from the drudgery of cleaning. It's about the glory and enjoyment of it. Andrew Martin needs to get a hobby.
March 25, 2019
As I read this, I became concerned for the sanity of the author, and now I am concerned for the sanity of all middle-aged, middle class people living in the UK. My thoughts include: lowering of standards for sanity, owning less expensive things, not owning heirlooms that involve that much maintenance, not owning the sort of shirts that require ironing, not owning white furniture (as the author admitted he has), not smoking indoors. I am all for cleaning, but the sheer amount of effort he is spending is really astounding. Also, why do British faucets do the weird one faucet per temperature setting, instead of allowing a mix to come out of a single faucet?
January 30, 2021
I think this book was recommended on the Ace of Spades book thread (Sundays), and I read the Kindle version aimed at Americans -- the author defines a few terms and explains a few things known only to the English.
Well, it's very hard to get a Capricorn to laugh out loud, but Andrew Martin succeeded wonderfully!
It's not just a guide book for men on doing housework (and he explains in hilarious detail how he happened to take it up), but his notes on his family's responses, and his research into the details was such fun.
I really needed something light and this truly fit the bill, and I learned a lot, too.
Highly recommended, not just for a good laugh.
Well, it's very hard to get a Capricorn to laugh out loud, but Andrew Martin succeeded wonderfully!
It's not just a guide book for men on doing housework (and he explains in hilarious detail how he happened to take it up), but his notes on his family's responses, and his research into the details was such fun.
I really needed something light and this truly fit the bill, and I learned a lot, too.
Highly recommended, not just for a good laugh.
November 8, 2021
Picked this up on kobo reads because it sounded funny. It had its moments. The author is good with dry sarcasm, and I laughed at some descriptions, particularly in the first few chapters. Ultimately the book depends too heavily on stereotypes and heteronormativity, and in the end I lost interest about 3/4s of the way through.
September 29, 2022
I couldn’t tell you how I came across this one, but it’s $1.99 on Kindle, and the sample was hilarious, so I read it. I laughed out loud many times and even learned a few tips! A section title, for example: “Household Aesthetics: A Brief Introduction for the Tasteless Man.” Plus, Martin is British and has interesting words for products that I’d never encountered.
April 2, 2019
Magari non del tutto pratico per imparare a pulire ma è molti divertente (humor inglese) e sicuramente interessante.
December 11, 2020
What a delightful book! Full of self-effacing humor plus a few tips and tricks for keeping a clean and tidy house. Such fun to read!
February 3, 2022
A series of essays with limited utility and a big helping of sexism. Got halfway through and stopped.
October 3, 2022
it was cute and fun! really enjoyed it!
March 6, 2014
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It's Friday so here we go with some upbeat weekend fluff after all those scientific facts a la Brian Greene and Michael Brooks.
I Think, Therefore I Drop My Clothes in a Heap...
Teh Blurb - Andrew Martin is surprisingly well qualified to write a guide to housework for men. Not only is he a man himself, but he does a lot about the house. On purely humanitarian grounds he recently took over some of the ironing from his wife; he then branched out into bath-cleaning, "specialist" dusting, and washing up after dinner (when he wasn't going out).
For the purposes of this book, Martin has interviewed many experts, and can thus provide answers to such burning questions as:
Do I Need to Bother about the Controls on the Iron?
Is Dust Dangerous?
and
What is All That Stuff at the Bottom of the Laundry Basket?
The result is an elegantly informative read, which interweaves witty, practical housework advice and musings on the nature of domestic politics with recollections from the author's Yorkshire childhood and highly illuminating scenes from the daily sit-com of family life.
How to get things really flat will amuse and instruct any man, forced at gunpoint by his significant other to read it.
About the Author:
-----------------
Andrew Martin trained as a barrister before becoming a journalist and novelist. He has contributed to most national newspapers. His seven novels include five titles - beginning with The Necropolis Railway - featuring the young Edwardian detective, Jim Stringer. He has also written short stories and radio plays. He is married with two children, and lives in Highgate.
First broadcast in 2009 on BBC Radio 4.
We loved this.
It's Friday so here we go with some upbeat weekend fluff after all those scientific facts a la Brian Greene and Michael Brooks.
I Think, Therefore I Drop My Clothes in a Heap...
Teh Blurb - Andrew Martin is surprisingly well qualified to write a guide to housework for men. Not only is he a man himself, but he does a lot about the house. On purely humanitarian grounds he recently took over some of the ironing from his wife; he then branched out into bath-cleaning, "specialist" dusting, and washing up after dinner (when he wasn't going out).
For the purposes of this book, Martin has interviewed many experts, and can thus provide answers to such burning questions as:
Do I Need to Bother about the Controls on the Iron?
Is Dust Dangerous?
and
What is All That Stuff at the Bottom of the Laundry Basket?
The result is an elegantly informative read, which interweaves witty, practical housework advice and musings on the nature of domestic politics with recollections from the author's Yorkshire childhood and highly illuminating scenes from the daily sit-com of family life.
How to get things really flat will amuse and instruct any man, forced at gunpoint by his significant other to read it.
About the Author:
-----------------
Andrew Martin trained as a barrister before becoming a journalist and novelist. He has contributed to most national newspapers. His seven novels include five titles - beginning with The Necropolis Railway - featuring the young Edwardian detective, Jim Stringer. He has also written short stories and radio plays. He is married with two children, and lives in Highgate.
First broadcast in 2009 on BBC Radio 4.
We loved this.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 11, 2015
My husband and I found this at the library and read it - made us laugh! Properly, this should be shelved with the humor books, I think. The author makes only a half-hearted attempt at research for the cleaning; it shouldn't be taken too seriously as a cleaning guide. Despite this misclassification, it was very good as a humor book, and we enjoyed it rather a lot: it'd have gotten four stars based on content alone.
Unfortunately, it needed more editing. There were too many clunky sentences that didn't make sense, and too many typos. Between this and the half-hearted research, it felt very thrown together. A shame, because some passages were absolute comedy gold.
It's a quick read, though, so if you happen across it, do give it a go. It's good after-dinner entertainment.
Unfortunately, it needed more editing. There were too many clunky sentences that didn't make sense, and too many typos. Between this and the half-hearted research, it felt very thrown together. A shame, because some passages were absolute comedy gold.
It's a quick read, though, so if you happen across it, do give it a go. It's good after-dinner entertainment.
November 29, 2011
I am not a man, but I still liked this book. My housekeeping skills/expectations seem to be dropping the older I get, so I figured I would read this to see if it might spur me on. It didn't, but at least I now know my attitude is no worse than that of most men. And the author is clever and witty. And British - so I also now know a lot more about British cleaning products and vocabulary. Should I ever need it. :)
April 7, 2010
A light and humorous book on the finer aspects of housekeeping from a male point of view. Be aware the author is British and the subject matter is from the English point of view. Fortunately the author is considerate enough to place plenty of footnotes explaining terms for the American reader. You will find yourself chuckling as you read through this entertaining book.
May 20, 2012
This is one of the many how to books I am reading for research purposes for my forthcoming book. I enjoyed the author's voice, which reminds me a bit of Bill Bryson. Couldn't decide whether to give it three stars (because helpful homemaking advice isn't my favorite genre) but decided that it is a stellar example of what it is. So, yeah, four.
March 7, 2013
A man's guide to housework--it has some practical advice on how to do things (without too much stress) but it's also a humorous commentary on the author's experiences. I found this on the shelf in the library and the copy I have, purchased in 2009, doesn't seem to have circulated much, so maybe men in this area aren't seeking out advice on how to do housework?
January 12, 2009
the house we live in gave nick this book as a winter solstice gift.
i read it.
it's great - funny, easy to read, good pace and clever story telling with bits of house-maintenance advice woven through.
i read it.
it's great - funny, easy to read, good pace and clever story telling with bits of house-maintenance advice woven through.
abandoned
May 20, 2012This book did not have instructions that were detailed enough to make it a how-to manual, yet it wasn't funny enough to me to be labeled humor. I may finish reading it someday, but right now I have too many other books on my shelf to take time out for this one.
June 21, 2013
While Martin makes some annoying assumptions about gender and housework, by and large I found this book very entertaining and even educational. What I appreciate very much is its "good enough" attitude -- so unlike the perfectionist Martha-esque homekeeping guides aimed at women.
October 10, 2009
Hilarious and practical. I guess I just appreciate great writing, regardless of the subject. If this guy make cleaning funny, I'd like to read the first novel he writes.
December 18, 2009
Not as informative as I thought, but damn funny.
August 19, 2011
amusing and informative, a sensible and realiztic look at houskeeping. men should read it, and it wouldn't hurt a few women to read it, either.
Read
July 27, 2011Surprisingly informative and hilarious in some places (I especially liked the "apartheid" of coloured and white clothes!)
Something to read on the tube or at the doctor's.
Something to read on the tube or at the doctor's.
October 16, 2013
Not actually incredibly useful for leaning how to take care of a house but immensely readable & enjoyable in a nice easy way.
December 14, 2013
A cute book about domesticity, written by a Brit, who is male. Very entertaining.
April 13, 2017
Picked it up randomly, it made me laugh, so I read the whole thing.
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