Look

by Zan Romanoff, Jorjeana Marie (Narrator)

Things Lulu Shapiro's 10,000 Flash followers don't know about her:
* That the video of her with another girl was never supposed to go public.
* That Owen definitely wasn't supposed to break up with her because of it.
* That behind the carefully crafted selfies and scenes Lulu projects onto people's screens, her life feels like a terrible, uncertain mess.

Then Lulu meets Cass. Cass isn't interested in looking at Lulu's life, only in living in it. And The Hotel—a gorgeous space with an intriguing, Old Hollywood history and a trust-fund kid to restore it—seems like the perfect, secret place for them to get to know each other. But just because Lulu has stepped out of the spotlight doesn't mean it'll stop following her every move.

It's a story about what you present vs. who you really are, about real intimacy and manufactured intimacy and the blurring of that line. It's a deceptively glamorous, feminist, emotionally complex, utterly compelling, queer coming-of-age novel about falling in love and taking ownership of your own self—your whole self—in the age of social media.


RUNNING TIME ➜ 8hrs. and 45mins.

©2020 Zan Romanoff (P)2020 Listening Library

Genres: Young Adult, LGBT, Contemporary, Romance, Queer, Fiction, Lesbian

Audible Audio

First published March 31, 2020

About the author

b. Los Angeles, 1987

I write about food, feminism, television, and books. Oh, right, and teenagers.

Reviews

[Chelsea (chelseadolling reads)]

DNF @ 21%: I wanted so badly to love this one bc I loved the last Zan Romanoff book I read, but this was just very much not working for me. Womp.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never write reviews, but I felt like this book isn't getting the same level of hype as other 2020 releases and it needs to!

This is a book about a social media influencer, Lulu, whose account goes viral after she accidentally posts a video of her hooking up with another girl at a party. Her original popularity had been from her boyfriend at the time, who is the son of a famous band frontman. She shuts herself off from most of her friends and family, and spends her life going through the motions - posting lots of selfies and projecting an image of being perfectly together on the internet, going to parties, hanging out with the friends she should hang out with at only certain times, and ignoring her feelings with the help of substances. She meets Cass (our love interest; this is sapphic) at a party, who takes her to "The Hotel," where a trust fund kid is trying to renovate his family's old hotel to bring it into a modern age. They spend more and more time together, at this hotel, and plot ensues.

I devoured this book. Maybe it's just the books I'm consistently exposed to, but there are so few wlw romances out there, especially soft romances and ones geared towards younger readers. I thought this book had really fantastic representation all around (Using the word bisexual to describe someone? Shocking. World tilting. Unerving. Am I living in 2019 or what?)- and the consistent thread is a discussion about how men use images of women.

The reason this really spoke to me as someone who has grown up with social media, and doesn't really remember a time when it wasn't a topic of contention, is that it wasn't all about bashing those platforms. There is a tendency I've seen from adults to just condescend to their young reader audiences by writing about how social media induces mindless scrolling, social reclusiveness, cyberbullying, etc. etc. Surface level critiques by people who have rarely, if ever, been on social media, and even then they probably just have a Facebook account. Yes, sure, whatever. Social media is rotting our brains. There are other issues, however, that people talk about way less: literally selling your private life online, being unable to control the attention and invasions of privacy that come with being well-known, and the constant pressures to keep up a certain image. This books did a phenomenal job addressing this because it talked about what led to this moment. The ongoing thread of this book is the control that men have over women's images. Hollywood stars, portraiture, publishing rights, and so on. This is done so eloquently that I can't really do it justice in a review. Plus, it actually shows how young people are constantly connected. I'm really tired of contemporary romances ignoring cellphone use. The reason this is compared to Emergency Contact is not because they have very much in common; it's because they both effectively depict the way people text each other, have conversations in messages, and view each other's actions via the internet. Also, Lulu at one part was sad and locked herself in her room to binge Friends on Netflix and that is the most realistic portrayal of a teen girl that I have ever read.

Themes aside, this book was so good. I don't know how to be much more honest or concise than that. All our characters were well developed and didn't feel like a caricature of how high schoolers act (can you tell that bugs me?). I was rooting for our love story, which captured the uncertainty of being into another woman but not knowing if she is also into women. The two mains had instant chemistry but it didn't feel forced or like insta-love which is really rare. Cass also had proportionate reactions to things, and didn't blow a gasket for the sake of plot and conflict, which was awesome. The conflict in the story made sense, and wasn't bombarded from all sides. Lulu has a poor relationship with her family, but it's not a super huge plot point. She gets to grow closer with her mother and sister as she learns to open up to people in real life and not just on the internet (main conflict of the story), but it isn't after blowout fights and unnecessary/ gratuitous cruelty.

I also really like that there was a straight female best friend who was 1) supportive of Lulu's sexuality, so their conflict was not only about her being uncomfortable or betrayed or other irritating topes like that and 2) who stayed completely platonic and the main character was not harboring secret feelings for. While I am a sucker for a good friends to lovers story, I also like platonic friendships being allowed to be platonic and have that be considered just as valuable as a romantic relationship. Their friendship also felt real, where her best friend wasn't there for a funny line at the beginning and then ignored. There was conflict, there was resolution, and there was (later in the plot) effective communication! Yay!

Tl/dr: This is a feminist book that is about teenagers but actually reads like they are real humans. With lesbians. It's impossible not to love it!

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5

[Nadège Rocha · Rating 5 out of 5]

bless sapphic books

[Sabrina Grafenberger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lulu Shapiro accidentally posts a video of her making out with another girl to her 5,000 Flash followers (Flash is like an Instagram/Snapchat hybrid) which leads to a break up with Lulu's boyfriend and tension in her group of friends.

From there the story is about Lulu figuring out who she is, what she wants and finding her place in the world. It's about self-acceptance, sexuality, feminism, body issues, the impact of social media and ultimately character growth.

Although I personally can't identify with the main problem itself (I've never been big on posting pictures and videos of myself on social media or craving attention, followers and likes) I still enjoyed this book a lot.

What I liked most is that the characters and the created conflicts between some of those characters felt entirely realistic. I was never annoyed by the teenage drama because it was all reasonable and especially Lulu thought a lot about her mistakes, worked on her behaviour and tried to change things.

The queer representation was handled so well, I wish I had this book when I was younger, but I'm definitely glad to have read it now.

[Ezzydesu · Rating 5 out of 5]

''You could be nothing,'' Lulu says.
''I could be anything,'' Cass corrects.

I was sent an ARC of this book by a fellow booklover as she wanted to get it into the hands of a bisexual reviewer, mainly to take a look at the representation in this book. Her concern was how the representation in this book might be feeding some stereotypes around bisexuality and I was happy to take a look at this! So in this review, I am not just reviewing the book, but also giving my take on the bisexual representation.I have put my extended opinion at the end of this post as otherwise the review itself would become way too long for comfort.

This book is really flying under the radar, especially compared to other 2020 releases and especially compared to the queer and f/f releases. If it wasn't for this ARC, I would not have heard from it. Really, I have not seen anyone, except the person I got this from, talk about this book and it's a shame.
Look is about Lulu Shapiro, a girl who has over 10,000 followers on Flash, a Snapchat like app. What her fans don't know is that behind the carefully crafted selfies and scenes Lulu projects onto people's screens, her life feels like a terrible, uncertain mess, that the video of her with another girl was never supposed to go public and her boyfriend was definitely not supposed to break up with her because of it.
But then she meets Cass and she takes Lulu to this place called The Hotel—a place where no phones are allowed and Lulu doesn't have to worry about her public image. But just because Lulu has stepped out of the spotlight doesn't mean it'll stop following her every move.


So, this book is absolutely beautiful. I am gonna quote a part of the blurb of this book directly as it comprises exactly what this book is without spoiling the plot:
''It's a story about what you present vs. who you really are, about real intimacy and manufactured intimacy and the blurring of that line. It's a deceptively glamorous, feminist, emotionally complex, utterly compelling, queer coming-of-age novel about falling in love and taking ownership of your own self—your whole self—in the age of social media.''
I loved how soft this book was. No so-to-say hard edges in the character or story, nothing is out of place and everything makes sense on another level than just logical succession. The book is in no way a fluffy read though, as it addresses real issues around different topics and some can be a little heavy, especially if you are expecting a fluffy f/f romance. This book is so much more than a romance as it's about a journey to discover your true self and what impacts social media can have on your life. I am glad books like these are written in 2020 as the topics are so important and relevant. Look really moved me, especially as I saw a lot of myself in Lulu and helped me reflect on my own life and own self a little bit more.

I highly recommend this book. It's soft, it has amazing queer representation and shows the process of young people figuring out who they are, what they feel and what they want. I love how all of these factors were parts of one big arc and none were specific plot points. Look has gorgeous writing and it let me enjoy a whole rollercoaster of feelings in one beautiful story. I don't read a lot of contemporary as it isn't my favourite type of story, but this book just grabbed me and didn't let me go until the very end. It felt pure and raw, and I am completely satisfied with the road the characters have taken from the beginning until the end of this book. Definitely a book that deserves more attention than it's getting and one of the better queer-coming-of-age stories I have ever read.

Now about the bisexual representation.
So, in the blurb you can read how Lulu was kissing a girl on video and accidentally shared it with her flash followers and her boyfriend broke up with her because of it. I am going to privide a little context which can be seen as mild spoilers. A few months before the events of the book, Lulu was dating Owen. Their relationship was starting to get a little dull, so Lulu wanted to spice it up a little by having Owen watch how Lulu kisses other girls. Before their relationship, Lulu did this girl-kissing-thing more often to get the attention from guys, either for herself or the girl kissing her. But Lulu is bisexual, and these things are part of really big stigmas around bisexuality, like 'bisexual girls that cheat on their boyfriends with other girls' and 'one romatic/sexual partner is not enough for bisexual people'.  This is why the person who sent me this book wanted to have a bisexual reviewer's opinion on this.
Only looking at the shallow meaning of all this, yes it feeds into the stigma and it can be really harmful for the bisexual community. But while reading this book, I really kept my mind's eye open to make it make sense and eventually I did and this is what I figured out:
Lulu spends the entire book figuring out herself and letting go of the Lulu the world wants to see. She is in a relationship with a guy, like girls are expected to be, and even though it was stranding, Lulu didn't let go of this relationship. Why? She still loved Owen, but not in a romantic way. The heteronormativity pushed into her and expected from her from the world never truly gave her room to even think about that loving something beside a boy was a valid option, I think? So when she discovers kissing girls is actually something she loves to do, she writes it off as a weird thing instead of being part of her sexual preference. She completely convinces herself that the girl kissing is something she is doing for Owen and their relationship, while really she is discovering herself. Lulu also mentions how she doesn't like labels and terms to describe herself and she only calls herself bisexual one time. The book doesn't even explore anything beyond that. I was thinking that perhaps Lulu isn't 100% monoamorous. Like, she can have one partner, but is not limited to just one, if you get what I mean? The stigma around bisexuality is that all bisexuals are polyamorous and even though that's not true, there are plenty of people who are bi and poly at the same time.
Long story short, everything that could point to stigmas are explained well in the book and as a bisexual I can find myself in Lulu's actions, but you have to connect the dots yourself. If people are only reading the surface of the story, it can feed the stereotypes and be potentially harmful for the bi-community. I would have liked to see more context around this. But who knows, as this is an ARC and this context may very well be in the final product. The representation is well done and I can only recommend this book as we need more bi-rep in books.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

"It's the things men do to women. The ways they think they get to be in charge of you. The way it never seems to stop."

This was so powerful. I wasn't expecting this to be so impactful with its themes of the ways men hold power of women and control their images, but damn. I entered this thinking it would be a light contemporary with a social media star. I was so wrong, but I am so happy with what I got.

This is by far the most powerful critique of social media I've seen. I find often social media is critiqued at such a surface level, and most of it makes me just want to roll my eyes. But this shows it holds power for good, but also for worse. It dove into misogyny in the culture, and further how woman's images are reflected in media by men.

Lulu is a really dynamic character. She really, really developed from the start of this to the end and it was a beautiful transition. The writing really conveyed the uncertainty and internal struggle Lulu was going through, and I could feel the despair. We also get a wonderful coming-of-age story as Lulu figures out her sexuality and how she battled with the emotions until she figured out what it meant to her.

The friendship between Lulu and Bea is wonderful, plus with her sister. Bea so wholeheartedly accepts Lulu, and her sexuality is never an issue. The problem is Lulu needs to learn how to authentically communicate with people, something she had never done as she was never being her authentic self. This story brings us through the process of her playing the game and putting on an act for how she wants to appear to everyone, to eventually learning what it means to let people in.

Something I love is truly how feminist this story became. Often I take it with a grain of salt when a book is described as feminist; it's become a trend to capitalize off any somewhat strong female, and often attributed to things that don't actually critique misogyny in any way. This here, does. The ways in which men control women becomes a dominant theme, and the story fights back against that narrative.

*ARC provided by publisher for honest review*

[kory. · Rating 3 out of 5]

book: quiet but empowering feminist commentary on beauty, art, queerness, the male gaze, and finding and owning yourself during the age of social media

me: i've never felt more seen than when the main character mentions swirling her shed hair on the shower wall so it doesn't clog the drain

content/trigger warning; alcohol, marijuana, underage drinking, kissing, arophobic language, anti-native language, anti-roma slur, mentions of racism, queerphobia, outing, gendered slurs, misogyny, mentions of past abortion, disordered behavior and thoughts about food/body image, revenge porn, slut shaming, sexual content,

rep; lulu (mc) is queer/unlabeled/bisexual* and jewish. cass (li) is gay. bea (sc) is filipina. kiley (sc) is black.

*lulu says she's "technically bisexual" because she likes girls and boys, but that labels (questioning, queer, bisexual, and pansexual) don't feel right for her. and since a term technically being accurate isn't the same as choosing to identify as it, when bisexual is used two times later on without any commentary from her about no longer feeling labels aren't for her, idk if it's her deciding the bi label is right for her, or if it's just a technical term used out of necessity.

i'm probably putting too much thought into this when everyone else is just like "she's bi!!!", but hey, that's what i do when it comes to queer rep. and as far as the author's twitter and a blog post goes, i didn't find any confirmation and this isn't ownvoices queer rep, so *shrug*

[Ashley Scott · Rating 1 out of 5]

While well intentioned and certainly enforcing feminist ideals that I firmly stand behind, this book was just not ... very good. At all. Which bums me out, because we need more GOOD LGBTQIA+ fiction in this world.

It was way too long for the incredibly sparse amount of story, and even the dramatic plot events were tame. I felt extremely frustrated throughout the entire duration of this book, like ... give me something. ANYTHING. And frankly, the ending was a little on the vague side and ruined the central relationship in the book. I walked away not caring who stayed together in the end.

[Lauren James]

A sun-soaked LA group of influencers spend their time posting about glorious parties and exploring a half-renovated hotel, successfully hiding the real emptiness they feel. I love the connection to old age Hollywood glamour - fans of the You Must Remember This podcast will really like this.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm doing it, kids! I'm rating a book 5 full stars! The second one of 2020! I'm so excited!

I really, really liked this book. I loved this book. I was sold from the beginning. The relationships were done really well, whether they were romantic or platonic or familial. The main romance was developed naturally and smartly, it made me feel serious FEELINGS ("You're going to have to be a little more careful with me." okay, bye). I really enjoyed Lulu, the main character. She grew organically and thoughtfully; there was never some big HI-I'M-A-BETTER-PERSON-NOW moment, everything she went through, every conversation, everything had its part in her arc. The conflicts were all dealt with in ways that I thought made sense - the characters talked to each other (it may have taken a bit of time but, hey, they always got there in the end). I hate Ryan Riggs. The end.

[ash · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh this was lovely. The writing is very sharp and very spare and yet still able to articulate the awful mess of being a teenager both externally and internally and so good at taking Lulu from a character we think we know and judge preemptively to one we actually know and like and care about. I don't see myself in Lulu or the people that surround her (though like Romanoff I grew up fifteen minutes/an hour in traffic from the beach in LA) this is one of the first renderings of growing up that felt something like it did for me, that horrible moment when you realize you're not really the person you want to be for the first time and the first stirrings of hope that you can be, even if you don't really know who that person is yet. I loved the scene with Lulu and Bea in the grocery story and all the fluttery feelings Lulu had for Cass that felt so much like what it's like to be young and that even in it's most awful, frustrating moments, the story continues to be about agency and what it means to claim it for yourself when you've made so much of your own passivity.

Maybe the feminism is heavy-handed! Maybe the rich white patriarchy bad guy is a little bludgeoning! Maybe the Bluebeard metaphor runs a little hammy! But maybe that's just an extension of what being a teenager is like, when everything is obvious and embarrassing but you still convince yourself you're cool and aloof and subtle.

Anyway, this was great! Can't wait to go put holds on whatever else Romanoff has written.

[✨ vanessa | effiereads ✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

“If you're telling the story, it means you're still alive. If you're telling the story, it means you're still haunted by it too.”

Technically I’m giving this book a 3.5 ⭐️ review.

I loved that it highlighted the much talked about topic of social media life versus reality and that we shouldn’t see these Insta-lives as truth. They’re showing us what they want to share and Lulu Shapiro accidentally shared a hard truth: her attraction to girls.

The sapphic vibes were immaculate but overall it felt very basic as a storyline.

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

If books like this had existed when I was a teenager, I'd be a completely different person right now.

[bruna · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book was just so much more than what i was expecting! the story was different and exciting and i really really loved it. it’s a big YES, READ IT! i cannot recommend it enough

[Madeleine Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book started out at 5 stars for me because this has all the vibes and feelings that an Indie coming of age film has, literally. From the obscure old hotel they call their hang out to them jumping into a cold pool in clothes, this is like as close to an indie coming of age book you can get Lmao.

I really enjoyed this and the writing was almost dark in a sense as Lulu tried to find herself and navigate her identity, after accidentally posting a video of her kissing a girl.

It was super good except it kinda felt like a book that should’ve been written like 10 years ago. Lulu deals w body issues and at some instances they discuss being “fat” when she is skinny. I feel like this narrative is not positive anymore and is not what people look for in books about body positivity. Books like Leah on the Offbeat and Dumplin’ are the type of body positivity books we need now.

[Sasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was a really great book with an incredibly insufferable main character

[m · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read it more or less in one sitting and I’m grateful for this recommendation (thanks, b <3). I wouldn’t say that I can relate to lulu in every aspect but at least when it comes to girls and “trying to figure out how to live in the world”. this book made me want to fall in love. to have something like they have, with my own cass. but without the drama and moreover, definitely without a ryan.

[Lindsay Sproul · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was delivered the day I got the coronavirus, and OH MY GOD I was so glad!

It's been a long time since I've read a book about teenagers where the characters feel SO MUCH like real teenagers, especially in the present. This is a fierce and powerful critique of the impact social media has on young people, on girls. It shows us the ways in which girls struggle to maintain power and to fight objectification.

The writing is killer. Lulu is one of the most realistic characters I've come across in such a long time, and I deeply appreciate her honesty. Cass is also utterly readable, and likable. Get your hands on this book right now, people!!!

[Day ☾ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. This book meant a lot to me but I won't lie I had a hard time getting through the first half of it.

[Rianne K B · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You could be nothing,'' Lulu says.
''I could be anything,'' Cass corrects.

I first heard about this book in an upcoming queer releases booktube video, and immediately added it to my TBR, and I'm glad I did because I ended up really enjoying it.
Look deals with self-acceptance, self-understanding, living your entire life online, and publicity, good or bad. I thought all the characters were well-developed, and I appreciate that we got a relationship between Lulu and her sister too, even though her sister was away at university for most of the book. I absolutely loved the idea of a space like The Hotel, where you are free and away from the world, where you can be yourself in private, away from phones and social media and flashes of cameras.

I also really loved that Lulu was never ashamed of being bisexual, and even said that she was bi, but rather that she was just trying to figure out how to live her life being bisexual after being so openly outed before she really had it all figured out. I also liked this representation of knowing you're not straight but not quite knowing what that all means, as I think many authors seem to think once you realise you're not cishet, you also know exactly what label fits you and how you identify, which is often not the case.

[Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Trigger warnings: drinking, smoking (marijuana), mentions of racism, queerphobia, outing, mention of past abortion, revenge porn, slut-shaming, misogyny, anti-roma slur, questions of body image, kissing and sexual content.
Diversity: queer and jewish main character, lesbian character, filipina character, black character.

I'm... a little on the fence about that one. On the one hand, I really liked the messages of the book, the thoughts about social media and reclaiming your identity, your body, yourself, the main character's growth and journey to find and define herself.
On the other hand, it took me a little bit to really get into the story and I don't know, I was just missing this real feeling and connection while reading that would make me rate this higher. ANYWAY. Still liked it! Still recommending this!

Full review coming soon on the blog :)

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[Wanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Every woman owns her own beauty ... and yet somehow, when it’s up for sale, it is almost always men who see the bulk of the profit.

If a man paints or photographs a woman, it’s art; if a woman paints or photographs herself, it’s an act or narcissistic self-indulgence.”

This book was surprisingly a powerful read! The main theme was about the internal struggle of the main character, Lulu, and how she reconciles the projected picture perfect image of herself and her internal struggle. The story also delved deeper into the harsh reality that the world will keep accommodating rich men. It’s infuriating in a way to know this is probably not uncommon, but I’m glad there was a sense of positive resolution in the end.

Additionally, I mean this in the most endearing way: the book is pretentious. It also had strong female friendships communicating with each other! It had good representation while still allowing the reader to indulge! What’s not to like?

(Except there is just a potential triggering coming out nightmare scenario, which is also one of the central drivers of the plot.

If it’s any silver lining, the main wlw relationship is probably one of the better written ones I’ve read in awhile.)

[Samantha (WLABB) · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting look at coming of age under the scrutinizing eye of social media. Lulu knew how to play the game. She knew how to act, the answers to give, and her best angles for all her photos, but this was really a story about her peeling back the image she had created and figuring out who she was without the filter. I found her coming to terms with, and acknowledging, her bisexuality well done, and appreciated the feminism, that was woven into the story. Lulu was definitely a different person at the end of the book, and perhaps, this was the young woman she had been hiding the whole time.

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[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really wish I could properly explain what Zan Romanoff novels do to me...woooo buddy. This is her third one, and I really think it’s her best (even though Grace will always be my favorite for REASONS). The style of her writing is so unique and so...tender and vulnerable yet laced with a sense of unease throughout that always pays off in the end. I’m such a huge fan. I adored this book and I wish she had 10 more for me to read but I will wait patiently until her next.

[Danielle: Braillerose · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing feminist novel about sexuality, and the modern way that people spread rumours and one girl's journey of finding out who she wants to be and not who she thinks others want her to be or perceive her to be. Very emotional and Lulu makes mistakes, realises when she's been a bad person or a bad friend, and finds a way of putting it right and changing herself and the way she views her "own image for the better.

[Amy! · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful. I love Romanoff's writing, and I liked the story she had to tell here. I like how much growth Lulu experienced as she worked on figuring out her sexuality, her agency, and her place in the world.

(This took a really long time to read because of library due dates! I got very sucked into the story while I was reading it.)

[TL *Humaning the Best She Can* · Rating 3 out of 5]

*via Overdrive app *

Narration: 3.5 stars 🌟
Story: 3.5 stars 🌟

A slower paced story that kept my attention. One of those "slice of life" (right term?) stories where not much happens but at the same time it kinda does, in the sense our main girl comes to terms with herself at her own pace and in her own way.


Would recommend :)

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book started out a little slow but once I got into it I really loved it. This was a great queer, coming of age and finding your fierce feminist side story and I am here for it!

I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Rachel Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I thought it was going to be some coming out fluff with a Snapchat-like angle for interest, but it ended up getting into feminist critiques of who gets to tell women's stories, who controls how the world sees us. I loved it.