it was never going to be okay

by jaye simpson

"Sovereignty, vulnerability, honesty." — Ms. Magazine it was never going to be okay is a collection of poetry and prose exploring the intimacies of understanding intergenerational trauma, Indigeneity and queerness, while addressing urban Indigenous diaspora and breaking down the limitations of sexual understanding as a trans woman. As a way to move from the linear timeline of healing and coming to terms with how trauma does not exist in subsequent happenings, it was never going to be okay tries to break down years of silence in simpson’s debut collection of i am five my sisters are saying boy i do not know what the word means but― i am bruised into knowing the blunt b , the hollowness of the o , the blade of y  

Genres: Poetry, Indigenous, Queer, LGBT, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Transgender

112 pages, Paperback

First published October 6, 2020

Reviews

[Billy-Ray Belcourt · Rating 5 out of 5]

read this book!! my blurb: "IT WAS NEVER GOING TO BE OKAY is sweeping, epic, damning, and so, so deeply moving. jaye simpson marshals a vast economy of images because their subject matter is as large as an entire country, as the colonial past, as structures of oppression and indifference that undermine Indigenous and trans livability. At the level of craft, simpson makes use of the codes of tragedy, polemic, autobiography, and the lyric artfully and powerfully. By the book’s end, buoyed by it’s final beautiful and tender section, a kind of love letter to trans Indigenous peoples, one is called on to build a new world. In this way, jaye simpson’s poetry is a vital artifact of a decolonial future!"

[Sadie Hartmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Themes & subjects
-intergenerational trauma
-queerness
-transgender
-indigenous colonization
-childhood neglect and abuse (emotional/physical) welfare and foster parent system
-mental health
-sexuality (a lot of sex)
These poems are raw and vulnerable clearly meant to reach people who read poetry to feel seen and to see (I am of the latter audience-I saw jaye simpson's pain and suffering and it was emotionally devastating)
jaye simpson is a Two-Spirit Oji-Cree person of the Buffalo Clan with roots in Sapotaweyak and Skownan Cree Nation who often writes about being queer in the child welfare system, as well as being queer and Indigenous.

[Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

"boy" was one of my favourites, an excerpt:

i am five
my sisters are saying boy
i do not know what the word means but
i am bruised into knowing it: the blunt b,
the hollowness of the o, the blade of y,
oh how they struck

[Virginia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not my usual kind of read. I stick with travel books, mysteries, history, the occasional memoir. This book was on a display of Canadian indigenous writers at my local library on July 2, and I glanced at the cover (which is my favourite colour.) After the news reports that week I felt I should take something from the display - I'm working my way through Richard Wagamese's books but wasn't sure how much farther I wanted to go - so I grabbed this one. At home my heart fell when I realized it was poetry, not my usual area of entertainment, but pushed myself to read the first few poems. The epigraphs spoke to me and I was surprised at how very readable the poems were. I felt I was hearing someone's heart. The poet's experiences with family, foster care, the city, and especially with healing, were incredibly moving. I actually read through it a second time. I'm so sorry to hear about all these terrible experiences but am reassured that this articulate poet will continue healing and writing and helping to heal others. Thank you, jaye. 5 stars.

[Haley Connolly · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was absolutely stunning. an instant favourite. jaye simpson is a brilliant writer, both of poetry and prose. themes of intergenerational and individual trauma, queerness/transness/two-spirit Indigenous identity, and healing. bonus points for three (3 !!!) poems written after florence + the machine songs, a band which i love to bits, and greek mythology references. just in awe

tw: anti-Indigenous racism, colonial violence, child abuse, transphobia, slurs, grief, r*pe, sexual violence

[lacy · Rating 5 out of 5]

one of my most anticipated 2020 releases and jaye simpson still blew me out of the water. beautiful, deeply moving, and unrelenting.

[Jaime M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this beautiful book over the weekend. My heart melted before I even read any poetry! The dedication had such a hug of an entry; queer Indigenous youth in care 💕

I just really appreciated so much about what and how the author shared about their expressions of experiences in their unique life.

Found this great thorough article with the author:

https://thetyee.ca/News/2018/05/28/Le...

[Lio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hauntingly raw, hungry, and powerful. Violent and tender.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a stunning debut collection of poetry from jaye simpson. The four sections of this book pull your emotions in different and deliberate ways, ruminating on queer Indigenous love, kinship, and loss with a lyricism that seems to leave the page and live, forever, in your gut. The form of each piece, too, changes based on the content of the poems, a masterclass in poetic craft.

There is magic spun in these words. If you have been sleeping on jaye simpson thus far, wake up. This is only the beginning.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this if you want to be devastated (it is so good)

[bailey ◡̈]

i love poetry. this collection was so emotional and powerful

[df parizeau · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is such beautiful and considerate word choice and structuring of these poems.

I am utterly blown away with the way in which jaye has constructed page poetry that matches the intensity and magnetism of their stage performances.

These poems will stick to your ribs.

[tri ܁ ˖ ♬⋆.˚ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25. genuinely splendid! such clever linework & pacing & greek mythology metaphors i didn't quite follow... will definitely revisit some of the poems sometime

[Magdelanye · Rating 4 out of 5]

shame follows attraction
and I want you so badly
but you could be anyone p64
....
the malleable nature
of wanting
or the severity
of delusion: sometimes you want
to be wanted so badly
you forget yourself p65

from the poem in a city without seasons

out of unfathomable heartache roars a battle cry
flattening out the opposition to your vision
rearranging the world so that it held
a place for you to grow

.......................

from the poem boy

I am crying again
I have been doing this for years p17

I am boy...
boy because they say
they never asked me if i was
only told me I was
and I was not
the blunt b, the hollowness of o, or the blade of y p19



There is a wry humour evident beneath the surface of the pain, a magnificent resilience which comes across as gratitude and ultimately wisdom generously shared.

there is a sacredness in cutting out old hurts...
the old ways always lead to new ways p88
from the poem healing//sacrifice//necessity

Hidden in the acknowledgments is this gem: a group of poets is a ruckus and a kindness
This book is certain to create a ruckus in all who read it. Do a kindness and pass it along.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like I haven't been reading and loving poetry as much as usual lately. I've been in a minor reading slump (not stopped reading or anything, just read much less than usual lately)and I feel like this is particularly noticeable in my poetry reading habits. Not only have I read less of it, but it's been months since I truly, deeply loved the poetry I was reading. I truly, deeply loved this poetry collection.

jaye simpson has a gift for weaving words into beautiful poetry and making me feel something as I read it. it was never going to be okay moved me. I was rereading passages and lingering over certain turns of phrase or the way things were paired together through visuals or word sounds. The poems were so consistently excellent throughout that I couldn't even pick favourites.

Highly recommended! I'll be looking for more work from jaye simpson in the future!

[Aaron Esthelm · Rating 5 out of 5]

The poem This Woman // Nookum is the poem i'd like to talk about.

This poem hit me the hardest as it covers the cultural erasure of a group by colonialization. Taking the land from the natives was not all the Europeans did. Stripping the culture from the natives and leaving them devoid. A rift within their groups of people who have not conformed to the colonizers religious ways and those who did. The poem covers the writers grandmother burying the writers mother in a Christ church. A place their people did not believe in until their history was taken from them. Having the grandmother use the speech of the colonizers hit perfectly the harm they have caused. A native woman calling her granddaughter an Indian showing how deep these cuts go was beautifully done. I will be keeping a bookmark on that poem for when I want to revisit it.

[lady moon · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5*

To be honest I feel a little silly rating this? The whole book felt deeply personal and raw. But maybe this was the problem... It felt too personal. It wasn't like a published book but like the author's poetry diary - messy, not making sense at times and some things pr bably no one but the author understands.

This is the second poetry book I'm reading and rating low so I'm starting to wander if I'm the problem? Maybe I'm just not in the mood for poetry right now? If so, then I apologize to these two poetry collections that suffered because of it.

[vi ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

This collection of poems feels more like the author's personal ramblings and venting through different times of their life, rather than something whole and meant to be put together from the very beginning.

It was still quite interesting to see the evolution of the poems and at the same time the author's own evolution through their life. Certain poems were quite moving and made me feel deeply for the author themselves and the people that experienced and unfortunately keep experiencing the same situations.

The poems I enjoyed the most were the first few ones at the beginning of the third section of the book, as they were also the ones I found more closely tied together.

[Nicole Palermo · Rating 5 out of 5]

powerful, visceral, raw with emotion. jaye simpson’s poetry should be required reading everywhere. Can’t recommend this book enough

[Storm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, heart wrenching, evocative prose. So so important to hear from indigiqueer voices and truly LISTEN.

[Tya C. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not a huge poetry reader, but I really enjoyed this! It was easily readable, whilst still being emotional and impactful. I look forward to reading more poetry by jaye simpson in the future!

[Cher · Rating 4 out of 5]

i went through more emotions than i can count when reading this. i was uncomfortable at times but I am thankful for them.

[Hope Alden · Rating 3 out of 5]

A read for poetry month

[sophia · Rating 5 out of 5]

raw and gripping, such beautiful word choices too??

Some random favorites that I remembered to write down:

Cacophony
Brine
Poultice
Fermentation
Silt
Abnegation
Marrow

[maniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5
Some really interesting formal experimentation and bold exploration of femininity, queerness, indigenous identity, decolonization, and healing. Visceral at times and sweet and sensual at others. Favourite poems include “sea glass,” “nogojiwanong // peterborough,” “perennial love poems,” “raven,” “w a t e r w a y s,” and “about the ones i want to love.”

[Vee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book I was hesitant to read because I didn't think it was possible for it to live up to the hype. Spoiler alert: it absolutely does. Jaye is a brilliant poet and I really enjoyed this debut collection.

[Jayme · Rating 5 out of 5]

The very first poem I had tears.
By the second I was full on crying.
This was an emotional journey to read, I can not even imagine how Simpson endured.

[Jill DeJong · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very-moving poetry based on personal, and inter generational trauma, as well as the growth and perseverance of an individual.

(TW: some poems discuss sexual violence and are hard to read)

I liked "sea glass", "novojiwanong // peter borough", "inheritance", "waterways", and "about the ones I want to love" the most.

[Fini Ledermann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This felt like a long hug full of all my favorite flowers and a hand that will guide you. Maybe like a queer grandmother that sits in the forests and tells her stories to all her children& like in all good stories there‘s heavy and light combined.

[Cass · Rating 5 out of 5]

jaye simpson is a master of the craft of words weaving a rich web of words that transform beyond the page into the story telling tradition many Indigenous Peoples have been using since time immemorial. jaye's skilled cutting cleverness communicates the complexities, the pain, and the hope of their experience, and distills into language that is as accessible as it is impactful. jaye simpson offers no repose for those who have wronged them, but offers a transcendental and essential work of poetic and literary mastery.

it was never going to be okay, is mandatory reading for all.