Nancer the Dancer: Myositis and Me

by Judith Gwinn Adrian

The inspired 1960s phantasmagoria called Nancy's name. She smiled and joined. Why not? She was part of the summers of love, and the winters; dancing the light fantastic.

Unique to Nancy's story, however, is that she took this youthful swashbuckler chutzpah and used it to confront her dermatomyositis, the rare crippling autoimmune disease that attacked her skeletal muscles, her being, and her physical beauty. Evil trio.

Nancy believed that there are many ways to be crippled and some of them are physical. She focused her energy on *attitude.*

It took her twenty years to squelch Reuben (the name she gave the disease to separate it from who she was). In final measure the only way to slay Reuben was for Nancy to die. By dying, she beat him turned him to ash.

Toward the end, she wrote: *Let's get one thing straight if I never go anywhere or do anything else again in my life, I suspect I've had one of the best times of anyone I know. It's been mostly fun and I've had entertaining company. I got to cherish the fat arms of the babies, the silly laughter between friends, spontaneity, respect, comfy laps and the touch of his hand.*

264 pages, Paperback

Published March 8, 2020

About the author

Judith Gwinn Adrian: After retiring from twenty-five years of college teaching, I am currently mid-stride, co-writing biographies with two other writers. The processes are captivating as I learn about their Puerto Rican cultures, life experiences, and success stories. I am pleased to have four published books: Because I Am Jackie Millar (2007 & 2010), In Warm Blood: Prison & Privilege, Hurt & Heart (2014), and Tera’s Tale: Rebel on the River (2019) and Nancer the Dancer: Myositis and Me (2020). Rufus, my sturdy cat, and I are pictured. I live in Madison, Wisconsin, with my husband. My son and family reside in Minneapolis.

When not writing, I'm reading, gardening, biking, and -- of late -- taking very long walks as we address the impacts of the pandemic. This is a time to turn inward for a bit. Easy work for those of us who are reclusive introverts, I am thinking. Long term effects? I wonder...

Reviews

[Janet Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's all about attitude - equal amounts of optimism and realistic expectations. That was Nancy Gwinn Dell Nee's mantra and her secret to successfully coping, later in life, with chronic illness, disability, and eventually a premature death.
A free spirit with an adventurous streak, her journey in life began as a rebellious wild child of the 1960's. Nancer the Dancer, as she was affectionately called by all who knew and loved her, knew how to dance, how to have fun, play pranks, and break all the rules. Her love of life and sense of humor were infectious.
Throughout her life, she maintained a close, loving relationship with her sister, Judith Gwinn Adrian, the author of this personal biography. The sisters shared everything - the highs, the lows, the everyday moments of their lives. Together, they struggled and supported each other through Nancy's ordeal with myositis. Much of this is documented through their letters, emails, and Nancy's spontaneous journal entries which are shared in this book.
"Nancer the Dancer" is a heart-warming, yet heart-wrenching story that draws the reader into another world, opening our hearts to those who struggle with chronic illness. Written through Nancy's eyes by her beloved sister, this is a must read - especially for those suffering with chronic illness and for their loved ones.
One of Nancy's favorite quotes, a Chinese proverb, sums it up: "You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair."
You can't help but love Nancer the Dancer. May her spirit live on through the pages of this loving tribute by her sister.

[Gregory Renz · Rating 5 out of 5]

NANCER THE DANCER is a heartfelt memoir that grabs the reader from the start and refuses to let go; a story and character who stayed with me long after reading it. The life journey of NANCER THE DANCER, Nancy Gwinn Nee, is poignantly portrayed by her sister Judith Gwinn Adrian. Adrian masterfully tells the story from the point of view of Nancy, including many letters written by Nancy to Adrian and the family. The story takes us through her childhood adventures, her rebellious teens, and through adulthood and her long battle with a terminal illness. Her first marriage ended in heartbreak when her husband left her for another woman. This opened the door for her true love to enter the picture. They married and raised a family together. When Nancy got sick, I cheered for her as she heroically struggled with the ravages of the cruel, debilitating illness, Myositis that destroyed her health but could not rob her of the spirit that shines through these pages. I was in awe of Nancy’s determination to fight this monster, this disease she named Reuben. During some of the most challenging and embarrassing situations, Nancy was able to use her gift of humor to defuse what would have been devastating for ordinary people. But Nancy was far from ordinary, she was the epitome of the free spirit who stretched her wings in the turbulent sixties. Her free spirit seemed to give her strength through an ordeal that would have many giving in to the relentless relapses of Myositis, a disease that destroys skeletal muscles, robbing the victim of mobility and independence, eventually resulting in death. Nancy refused to allow it to take her dignity. I found this to be an uplifting story of the power of the human spirit to overcome even the most hopeless of situations. We can all learn from NANCER THE DANCER. Thank you, Judith Gwinn Adrian, for sharing this very personal story of your sister. It is a beautiful, loving tribute to her life; a story I hope reaches a wide audience.

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nancer the Dancer is such a wonderful, heartfelt and cleverly written story. Judith Gwinn Adrian, the author, recounts the life story of her sister Nancy, whom their parents nicknamed “Nancer the Dancer.” The story is told from Nancy's viewpoint, in a unique autobiographical style. I had many chuckles during my trip through Nancy’s childhood and early adulthood and then watched as a strong woman and her family dealt with the ravages of a terrible disease. The author shares, through the eyes of her sister, the insights gained from their close personal relationship and from Nancy’s thoughts shared in letters, email messages and journal entries. Nancy dealt with her disease, whom she named “Reuben,” with a rare personal power that enabled her to continue to experience joy in her life. The author describes the challenging times with empathy and the appropriate dose of humor that both she and her sister employed to make it through. Although Nancy’s life ended too soon, her spirit lives on. Her family members cherish their memories and now there is a lasting tribute for others to experience. I’m guessing Nancer would be proud of her big sister.

[Bill Harriott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most biographies are interesting and informative but few are page turners. Nancer The Dancer is all of that. Here, the sisters Gwinn tell Nancy's story with a charm and grace and wit that makes it difficult to put down and impossible to set aside.

[Carolina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This wonderful book is an autobiography and a biography all at once. It explores the incredible personality, impression, and contagious energy a single person can have on everyone around them. It's a story about battling a disease, yes, but it's also a story of joy and hilarity; family and connection. Nancy's life glows larger than her body, and continues in everyone who enjoys this retelling.

[Judith Adrian]

Five Star Review by Review by K.C. Finn
Reviewed By K.C. Finn for Readers’ Favorite

Nancer the Dancer: Myositis and Me is a work of non-fiction in the health and medical experience and personal memoir sub-genres, and was penned by author Judith Gwinn Adrian. As the title suggests, the work focuses on the condition of a person called Nancy, whose life was torn apart by the autoimmune disease dermatomyositis. Written by her sister, this memoir recollects Nancy’s battle with the disease, whom she nicknamed Reuben to personify her adversary, and explains not only the struggle with the condition but an uplifting portrayal of living life regardless of limitations. Whilst the book discusses the loss of a person’s health, it also shows us that spirit and livelihood will never be stolen from us if we choose to fight to keep them.

Author Judith Gwinn Adrian has triumphed with this heartfelt work that expresses so much more than a simple health advice book could ever give you about living with a chronic and debilitating illness. There is a beautifully nostalgic air to the narrative which gives it a literary quality, painting gorgeous backgrounds filled with exciting people that peppered Nancy’s life despite some of the terrible goings-on within her body. More than this, there is a clear and passionate expression of love and joie de vivre, something that is sure to leave other readers feeling emotional but powerfully inspired by the experience they have read through. Overall, I would highly recommend Nancer the Dancer: Myositis and Me to readers of deep memoirs and stories of triumph against adversity.

[Michelle Wheeler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was acquainted with Nancy in the late 60s and early 70s, and I feel that I finally got to know her better after reading Nancer the Dancer. I remember Nancy as being very pretty with long blond hair, an infectious smile, and being somewhat daring and rebellious - a free spirit. After reading her story, I think my impression of her was correct. She was also brave. I laughed and cried and cheered Nancy on in her fight against Reuben. The author's love for her sister, and their closeness, is clearly evident in the way she tells her story. Even if you didn't know Nancy, you will still be inspired by her.

[Malathi Nidadavolu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about attitude, about human spirit.
It is about a person called Nancy Gwinn Nee.
It is written by her older sister Judith Gwinn Adrian. She lets the protagonist tell her story. No editorializing, no narrator’s opinions, no comments.
I was drawn in as soon as I started to read simply because it was well-written. The book opens with Nancy’s , Nancer the Dancer, childhood days. In her teen years, she wrote “a poem to myself, about myself,” following Ralph Waldo Emerson’s advice, “Write what you are.” That is what she does in this book also.
Nancy writes about her “attitude” toward life, which includes her growing up in a privileged class family with parents’ strict rules and the children’s carefully planned shenanigans. I am sure my Indian friends of that era can relate to these events. I thought this would be a piece of history for those who have traveled to America and have “seen America.” This story tells about America two previous generations before what they are seeing today.
Nancy was always a joyful woman, she had a happy life. So, when she was “introduced” (her words) to a serious illness, she nicknamed it “Reuben” and even personalized it as “he”, and confronted him head on. The manner in which she dealt with him is something we all can learn from.
Actually, I see two messages in this book.
First : Let us review how we view persons with serious/terminal illnesses. It is almost always one of sympathy, worry and/or concern. Rarely, never to be frank, ask how the individual thinks, feels, and deals with her/his situation. Never ask “How do you view yourself,” “What do YOU want to do?”
I am saying stop talking about how you feel and let the person live his/her life as he/she thinks and feels. Try to see his/her life from his/her perspective.
Nancy tells us she has a life apart from housing Rueben in her body, so to speak. This is really an important distinction from other books on “victims” of any disease. We all need to learn to appreciate the person’s life from the perspective of that person.
Second: Attitude. It is all about attitude. Everybody has problems. Will you dwell on your problems and let them take over all your life completely? Or, separate them and try to live the other part of your life? It is your choice.
It was an easy read, written in simple English but for a few phrases, some games, urban epithets, and medical terminology. They did not stop me from continue to read though.
Previously, I have read two of her four books. Regarding Judith’s first book, “Because I am Jackie Miller”, I said, “It was well-written.” Judith replied that she wrote what Jackie Miller said. Judith is a good listener, listening is one good tool for good writing. Judith Gwinn Adrian is a good listener and good writer.
Thanks Judy, for sharing the story of your sister, Nancy Gwinn Nee. She had a meaningful life, full of zest and, of course, “attitude.”
Thanks for sending the book. It has been years since I held a book, I mean as a physical entity, and read. It was an interesting read, the 1.5 line spacing was particularly helpful.
This book and her other works can be ordered from the publisher at https://judithadrian.com/
(July 13, 2021)

[Christine Olgren]

Nancer the Dancer is a book that honors the human spirit. It describes how ordinary people rise up to face extraordinary circumstances with courage and heart. And how, in doing so, they transform not only themselves but also those around them. The story of Nancy is told by her sister, Judith Quinn Adrian, with tenderness and humor. It chronicles Nancy's vitality in engaging with life boldly before the onset of a rare autoimmune disease that teaches her painful lessons in facing physical and emotional hardships. As a reader, I learned about coping strategies to deal with terminal illness and to preserve a sense of self. I gained insights into the ways fortitude expresses inner strength, wisdom grows out of acceptance, and love conquors death in the end. I recommend this book to anyone who wants a deeper understanding of how to harness the human spirit in meeting adversity.

[Della Payson Valenzuela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nancer the Dancer spoke from a voice that shook while it said some of the most important words a person needs to know and live by. There is a wisdom. It will sit with you. She will sit with you. Beautifully unfolded by Judith Gwinn Adrian, my aunt, her sister, and the person that was able to see all of her the best, and retell the story that should be retold.

[Sue Nugent · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nancer the Dancer is a heartwarming, heart-wrenching celebration of life. It tells of Nancy's love of life and family and refusing to let a debilitating disease win. It is a page turner and will stay with you well after you put it down.

[Geoffrey Carter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir reminded me of John Gunther’s “Death Be Not Proud”. It is a comprehensive portrait pieced together from recollections, letters, and shared experience that brings Nancer the Dancer to life so well I felt as if I’d gone to high school with her. An inspiring and heart-rending read.

[Thomas J]

A perfectly captured recounting of a life full of joy and love that was undaunted by an adversity so alien to its spirit. A must read for anyone facing any debilitating illness.