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Nothing Personal

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Humor is without a doubt the most subjective literary form, and the author reassures readers that if they don’t find any of these 80 essays funny, it probably means that they are normal, well-adjusted human beings. For the rest of you, these sometimes penetrating, sometimes disturbing comedy pieces touch on topics ranging from gym teachers, to the war on Christmas. Sharp as a razor, edgy humor directed at every aspect of modern society, and out-of-work rodeo clowns.

Critical acclaim for Nothing Personal:

“His writing is the moral equivalent of a really bad, really long drum solo.”
- Tattoos & Beards Gazette

“It has a certain 'je ne sais quoi.' How do you say ‘Not Funny’ in French?”
- Moscow Times

“Never have I found the words ‘The End’ to be so comforting.”
- Vegan Examiner

“My only hope is that through the miracle of recycling, this eBook will end up as something remotely useful…like a drink coaster.”
- National Lobotomist

“If Police Academy VI were an eBook, Nothing Personal would be the sequel.
- Competitive Knitting Review

164 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 1, 2020

2 people are currently reading
11 people want to read

About the author

John Scheck

6 books17 followers
https://www.instagram.com/johnscheck_...
https://johnscheck.blogspot.com/

John Scheck has lived in four countries on three continents. In no particular order, these include eight years in Lower Queen Anne in Seattle; the Miraflores district of Lima, Peru, during a university program; the Glyfada area of greater Athens, Greece, as part of his short and distinguished service in the U.S. Air Force; and now the Ruzafa neighborhood in sunny Valencia, Spain, is home.

His humor essays have appeared on several websites and magazines, as well as National Lampoon's Not Fit for Print. He writes crime fiction and other stuff.

https://johnscheck.blogspot.com/

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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
Profile Image for Leftbanker.
1,004 reviews473 followers
April 4, 2020
I like humor when it borders on mental illness. This book may have crossed over that thin line, at least it did in several essays. There is also a dark cruelty in here, and you can't have dark humor without a bit of that.

Take his essay “Payback for Hitler” for instance (my favorite):
“If I were hanging out in Hitler’s garage while he was trying to repair his lawnmower, I would wait until he went into the house to answer the phone, and then I would hide three or four key parts.”

That's just mean, but it's Hitler so screw him.
Profile Image for Abibliofob.
1,600 reviews103 followers
December 17, 2023
Nothing Personal by John Scheck introduces us all to Scheckisms? I think I got this book on a dare from the author to test my limits! I don't know if I failed or passed but I read the entire book and I even laughed out loud a couple of times. Some chapters could be seen as a guide to how to live your life and some how not to. It's all up to the reader to figure it out. I did however enjoyed this collection of essays and after reading two books from this author I have made up my mind to try at least one more if not several. You should all try some of his work.
Profile Image for Mister Cool.
12 reviews4 followers
April 1, 2020
A long time ago I printed a bunch of John Scheck's funniest essays from his blog and put this printout in my bathroom for people to read while relieving themselves. I'd have guests over and they'd disappear for way longer than anyone needs to finish his or her business, and meanwhile the other guests and I could hear loud laughter echoing from the bathroom. I couldn't tell you how many times people emerged from their potty break praising that they'd just read the funniest shit ever. "When is this coming out as a book?" they'd inquire.

Well, here it is in all its glory, a collection of John Scheck's funniest essays that once appeared on his blog back when blogging was popular.

Scheck's book is wickedly funny, sure, but what I really enjoy is that beneath the biting humor is some truly poignant social criticism. We are, for all intents and purposes, a fucking horrible society, truly demented and awful, and Scheck cuts through the niceties to point out what a pile of ridiculous piffle we've become. Moreover, most of us are batshit crazy and narcissistic nitwits, and Scheck reminds us that we have to seriously laugh at ourselves if we truly want to make sense of where we've gone wrong.

The best humor is really like a form of excision surgery where something has to be cut off to save the body from infection. Scheck's book excises the inflated egos of the truly stupid and monumentally inept, all the while making us laugh out loud as he hacks away at these diseased parts. He rarely pulls punches and offends with an almost indifferent cruelty, and yet the honesty of his satire is what makes his humor so goddamned appealing.

The great Marty Feldman said it best about comedy: "Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act." Amen, brother. Scheck brilliantly exemplifies Feldman's simple premise in every one of these humor essays. Whether brief or long, each essay bites through the polite, boring veneer of dishonesty and delusion that prevents people from seeing how utterly ridiculous they really are. Look in a mirror, folks, then read Scheck's humorous take on everything worth mocking. All great philosophies worth knowing begin with criticism and doubt about the nature of everything, and Scheck's philosophy, like his humor, shines brightly like an exploding star.

You must be warned: you might crap yourself laughing. That's why I planted a copy in my bathroom all those years ago; it seemed the appropriate place for people to read this collection and not embarrass themselves.
Profile Image for Sarah.
Author 24 books50 followers
May 28, 2020
If you don't enjoy satire or humor then these essays won't be for you. But if you like to laugh and forget about your lockdown life for a few minutes, then check this essay collection out. There are witty sayings, off-the-wall musings, and clever takes on mundane things in life like buying Halloween candy while shopping for rat poison. These are short and sweet and you can read it all in one sitting or pick and choose. They're all winners.
Profile Image for MM Suarez.
997 reviews72 followers
June 27, 2022
This book of essays is one of the funniest things I have read in a while, which according to the book description probably means I am neither normal nor well adjusted😉. Seriously though if you like witty, snarky and irreverent (I do), pick this one up, these essays had me laughing out loud!
Profile Image for Tobias Mcevoy.
31 reviews
June 12, 2020
I’ve always enjoyed the humor of The Artist Formerly Known as John Scheck... I don’t know what he’s known as now (Mr Scheck?). I’ve been reading his work since way back in his early blog days, for the kids who don’t know what a blog is ... it’s like TicTok but no video and it’s longer and you have to write everything. Here’s a fine sample of the humor you get from John: “The easiest way to get rich is to never have been poor in the first place.”
Profile Image for Rick Gehrke.
Author 1 book1 follower
November 9, 2020
I haven't laughed this much reading a book in decades. This is Hunter S. Thompson-grade, high brow, wicked humor. I had to take breaks between chapters to let my circuit breakers reset.

Each chapter is a short story that stands on its own, densely populated with one zinger after another.

The title, "Nothing Personal", is a well-aimed heads-up to the audience. The author doesn't pull any punches. Scheck comes across as a worldly and seasoned social critic, targeting everyone, including himself.

Tip: Read this book with a rested mind, or you're probably going to miss some of the jokes.
9 reviews1 follower
June 24, 2021
This is book I turn to again and again whenever I need a quick shot of funny in my life. The essays are quick to read and diverse in content, and I was thoroughly entertained from beginning to end.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews

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