What If I Don't Feel Like Going to Church?

Church Questions

by David Gundersen

Many new believers have questions about what it means to live as a Christian in the context of a local church, and pastors are looking for resources to pass along to their congregations to help them think biblically about the Christian life. 9Marks Church Questions is a series that seeks to provide ordinary Christians with sound and accessible biblical teaching by answering common questions Christians have about church life. Each volume offers biblical answers and practical applications with the goal of nurturing healthy church practice and commitment. This booklet motivates Christians to still go to church even when they feel like it will be unsatisfying, unhelpful, or just plain awkward by helping them discern their feelings, ask for help, and rediscover the power of being present at their church's gathering.

Genres: Christian, Church

64 pages, Paperback

Published June 30, 2020

Reviews

[Jon Pentecost · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great short little reflection on the value of gathering with your local church when you don’t feel like it. Gundersen serves his reader by providing categories with which to process why attending church may feel difficult to you, and some steps to take to begin to address those difficulties.

This books wonderfully illustrates the power of the ministry a Christian can have simply by being meaningfully present in their church’s gatherings.

[Jeremy Mueller · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a piercing question! This book practically, biblically, and compassionately responds to those in varying circumstances who might ask that question. Best of all, it's only about 50 pages long! This book convicted my own heart as it exposed latent preferences in my church "experience." Simultaneously, it gave me godly encouragement to persevere in those moments when going to church feels overwhelming. This book is a needed antidote for today's culture of consumerism, individualism, and humanism. Just bought ten extra copies to give away - it's that good!

[Renee Masterson Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The most important time to go to church is when you don’t feel like it” (1). We know this, but still, our feelings get in the way all too often. Gundersen lists several reasons the believer might not feel like going to church; not surprisingly, “if you can discern the reason behind your reluctance [to go to church], the path forward becomes clearer” (12). This book provides the biblical reasons and logical steps for when the emotional side attempts to keep you away from Sunday mornings. Gundersen also acknowledges the ways we should ask for help. He spends several pages talking about what the church is and in what ways we should be present in the church—this section was an excellent slice of humble pie.

If you have experienced hurt from within the church, don’t agree with your pastors’ decisions, find believers difficult to love at times, struggle to make lasting connections, or err on the side of apathy, this book is for you. This tiny, 53-page pamphlet of a book was what I desperately needed when—as a newer believer—I held my preferences tight and wore my wounds in honor. This review took you more time to read than the entire book. So read the book, (it’s $5 on Amazon) and even when you don’t feel like it, go to church anyway. You’ll be so glad you did.

#readRENEEread

[Kholin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book: it was short but didn't skimp on information. I liked how the author went over different reasons we might not want to go to church and made space for the reader to consider those different reasons, without discounting them and the struggle they can be. I also liked how he used Hebrews 10:24-25 to emphasize the importance of encouragement rather than passivity when we do go to church. I recommend it for its brevity and its gentle, encouraging, conversational approach.

[Christian Barrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a practical book that seeks to bring clarity to why Christians should not neglect gathering with the saints no matter how they may feel. In the midst of it are ways to be encouraged by the saints and ways to remain faithful to a local church despite life circumstances. The use of membership here is well balanced and shows it significance in the local body.

[Ashley Marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

For such a small booklet, this was hugely encouraging to me. I love how the author notes a FULL spectrum of situations and still brings everyone in together. I think this would even be encouraging to those who love showing up every week and serving!

[Mark Lickliter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! This would be a great book to give away!

[Johnny · Rating 5 out of 5]

9 Marks ministry has recently come out with a series of short books that it calls the Church Questions series. Each book sets out to answer a specific question regarding the church and church life. I was recently sent a copy of one of these short books entitled What If I Don’t Feel Like Going to Church? Written by David “Gunner” Gunderson. Gunderson is the Lead Pastor of BridgePoint Bible Church in Houston, TX. He is a graduate of Master’s College and Southern Seminary.
I think that this is a very timely book that has recently been published in that many pastor’s are faced with the challenge of regathering their flocks. Sadly some have not yet decided to return and need to be reminded of why we gather in the first place.
In this book the author reminds us what a church is and there is no way around the fact that the gathering of fellow believers is vital. There is something that will never be replaced by a Facebook video or a Zoom meeting.
I appreciated so much his words concerning the fact that a church is a covenant family. After seeing the ebb and flow of church life it was good to be reminded that “covenants are made for the hard times, no the good times.” We tend to forget that. The author reminded me that covenants are about us and not all about you even though they may involve us. We live in such a naval gazing day where we think that church should be about me and what they can do for me. The author reminded me that is not the case. I found myself convicted by His words.
I highlighted the author’s section on the power of consistency and how it is the “most underrated weapons in our walk with God.” He encouraged his readers to be disciplined to consistency in their church attendance.
The author debunked various reasons why people give for not coming to church. In the process he shows the many benefits of coming even when you don’t feel like.
If you are struggling with problems found within your church, he gives you some insight on how to Biblically deal with it in your own heart and in your church. He reminds us that “Jesus didn’t die for saints; He died for sinners.” The church is going to have problems because there are people in the church. Plain and simple.
He finishes up His work by diving into what should be our mission when we go to church as dealt with in Hebrews 10:24-25. He encouraged me to be an encourager when I go to church this Sunday.
This is a small book in a series of books than any church could purchase and have available for those who may need to be encouraged in their church membership. I see value here.
I was given a copy of this book for an honest review. Honestly, I liked it. You will too.

[JaRon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review: What If I Don’t Feel Like Going to Church?

In What If I Don’t Feel Like Going to Church? by David Gundersen, readers are invited to reflect deeply on their personal relationship with church attendance and the spiritual journey. Gundersen addresses a question that many believers may wrestle with at some point—how do you engage with church when your heart isn’t in it? Rather than simply offering rote answers, the book provides thoughtful encouragement grounded in Scripture, aimed at reigniting the desire for fellowship and worship.

One of the strengths of this book is Gundersen’s empathetic approach. He acknowledges the various reasons people may feel disillusioned or disconnected from church, such as burnout, personal struggles, or negative past experiences. But he doesn’t stop there—he offers practical wisdom on how to overcome these barriers with grace and patience. He encourages readers to remember that feelings come and go, while the deeper call to community and worship remains central to the Christian faith.

The writing is clear and engaging, making it accessible to a wide audience, whether you’re new to faith or a seasoned believer. Gundersen uses personal anecdotes and biblical examples to illustrate how important it is to push through the seasons of spiritual dryness and reconnect with the body of Christ.

What If I Don’t Feel Like Going to Church? serves as a timely reminder that church is more than just a routine obligation—it’s an opportunity for growth, connection, and experiencing God’s presence in a community of believers. It’s a quick yet impactful read that will leave you with renewed motivation and perspective on the significance of church in your spiritual life. Highly recommended for anyone feeling distant from church but longing to rediscover its value.

[Kathleen Garber · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received a copy of the book from Crossway in exchange for an honest review*

Who hasn’t felt like they didn’t want to go to church at one time or another? Some of us feel like it a lot. There are many reasons why that might be but I had no idea how many different types of reasons there really might be until I read the book. There are 12 types of reasons including:

physical (such as chronic pain or exhaustion)
spiritual (you’re in a dark place)
logistical (you live far away from church)
cultural (you’re in the minority)
transitional (a new pastor takes the helm)
Those are just some of them.

The book is very short at less than 100 pages and they are very small pages. So it’s more like a booklet. But really, I think it’s a better way to reach more people. Not everyone is willing to read longer books. So that was a smart idea on the author/publisher’s part.

The most compelling part is the one that starts like this:

“It’s Not All About You. I get it. It can be hard. The worship team didn’t pull their song selections from your personal playlist. The pastor didn’t have the time and resources to craft a mesmerizing sermon with a team of presidential speechwriters. The membership may not have the perfect combination of older saints to mentor you, younger saints to energize you, mature saints to counsel you, hospitable saints to host you, and outgoing saints to pursue you. But if your church believes the Bible and preaches the gospel and practices the ordinances and serves one another, then your church has saints, and those saints are your brothers and sisters, your fathers and mothers…”

What If I Don’t Feel Like Going to Church? pg 28
This is an important read if you find yourself not attending church. Obviously as I write this Covid-19 gives us another reason not to attend church. Some churches are open, some are closed, some have virtual services. Do what you can to participate and when the time comes that you can physically attend church again, go.

[Essence · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book misses the mark. While it identifies several reasons why many may not go to church, it has an undercurrent of condescension and contempt, and not a ton of practical solutions, like if the reason someone didn’t feel like going was due to physical impairments or being overwhelmed by unwilling children. Direct quote from page 28:

“I get it. It can be hard. The worship team didn’t pull their song selections from your personal playlist. The pastor didn’t have the time and resources to craft a mesmerizing sermon with a team of presidential speech writers. The membership may not have the perfect combination of older saints to mentor you, younger saints to energize you, mature saints to counsel you, hospitable saints to host you, and outgoing saints to pursue you”.

I feel that for people who struggle, there needs to be more compassion and nuance.

[Carôle Ceres · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprising

To begin with, I thought that this was going to be quite trite, itemising what seemed like ineffectual reasons for not attending church. To be fair, some reasons ARE ineffectual. But some are deeply spiritually concerning and Pastor Gundersen didn’t gloss over any of the reasons/issues/dilemmas. Quite the opposite. I would like to have him as my Pastor. I imagine that he must get quite worn down with counselling. I hope that he has a counsellor himself.

This is a small book, but it packs a punch. The latter pages would benefit one with regular rereading.

I don’t think it holds all of the answers, but it is a brilliant springboard for future discussions with a trusted friend or church leader.

[Hannah Santos · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really found this helpful. Convicting when he says going to church isn't just to benefit us, and the longer you're at a church, the more unhappy you'll be with it because more sin is shown. I like how he touched on the fact that sometimes it might not be easy to go to a church if you're one of the few minorities. I wish he dug into that a little deeper, but overall very good general and specific details. Basically he says when you don't feel like going to church that is probably when you need church most. I want to apply this in my life, and maybe even use it to help other people who are struggling too. The problem is few people read books.

[Joshua Reichard · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great short book. Gunner is clear and helpful in revealing that we must be present and active in the church body. Far too often we forget or just don’t care to be present and active when our church gathers. We are more concerned about what we like or what we are getting then about helping others and loving others. If you feel tired with the church or just don’t want to attend church anymore read this book now!

[Jonathan Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a superb little book for people who are struggling to go to church. It is full of compassion and wise counsel. The author helps you understand why are you may not want to go to church, why you should go to church, and what you can do to help yourself get there.

In a post-lockdown world, where many Christians have got used to not going to church, and cynicism has set in, this book is a timely read.

[Aaron Hembree · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredibly helpful resource! Gunderson remains on point from start to finish and his anecdotes and illustrations were powerful and highly creative. This resource is well written and profound in its incorporation of theology and helpful biblical references. I would recommend this resource to any hurting church member or anyone wrestling with seeing the value of the local church.

[Barry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being an introvert and a pastor, I have often felt guilty about having this feeling. while knowing deep down being an active part of the church is vitally important.
If you struggle with this then this short book will help. Cleat, concise, & a great reminder!

[Will Dole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this IX Marks series on Church Questions, and this may be the best one I’ve read so far. Packed full of good one-liners and vivid illustrations that demonstrate what the Bible clearly teaches: Christians need to be a part of a local church.

[Nathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, punchy and powerful!

[Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provides a good diagnostic when feeling unmotivated and good counsel.

[Anete Ābola · Rating 5 out of 5]

Biblical and practical mini-book for that kind of time.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Maybe I’ll end up saying this after reading each of these books… it’s far more than the title suggests and worth reading for every Christian.