Strange Relations

by Sonia Levitin

A summer in paradise. That's all Marne wants. That's all she can think of when she asks her parents permission to spend the summer in Hawaii with Aunt Carole and her family.

But Marne quickly realizes her visit isn't going to be just about learning to surf and morning runs along the beach, despite the cute surfer boy she keeps bumping into. For one thing, Aunt Carole isn't even Aunt Carole anymore—she's Aunt Chaya, married to a Chasidic rabbi and deeply rooted in her religious community. Nothing could be more foreign to Marne, and fitting into this new culture—and house full of kids—is a challenge. But as she settles into her newfound family's daily routine, she begins to think about spirituality, identity, and finding a place in the world in a way she never has before.

This rich novel is a window into a different life and gets to the very heart of faith, identity, and family ties.

Genres: Young Adult, Jewish, Teen, Fiction, Family, Realistic Fiction, Religion

304 pages, Hardcover

First published June 12, 2007

About the author

Sonia Levitin is a German-American novelist, artist, producer, Holocaust Survivor, and author of over forty novels and picture books for young adults and children, as well as several theatrical plays and published essays on various topics for adults. Her book Incident at Loring Groves won an Edgar Allan Poe Award.

Reviews

[Kirsten · Rating 2 out of 5]

What an odd book. I fiund myself wanting more detail, especially in the beginning. We are constantly told that her aunt's family is odd, but when she meets them, it just focuses on the chaos of a big family, and only later do the details come out (i.e. they dress modestly in old-fashioned clothes - wouldn't she have have noticed that at the airport???). There is a whole laundry list of issues thrown in (mostly left unresolved), just because (I guess). Also, I'm not sure that the only lifestyle choices available to modern teens are sex and drugs OR Hasidism, with nothing in between...... And at the end, the main character is blithely promising to turn at least part-time kosher, as if that's not a huge big deal and a lot of work! I don't know - this just didn't work very well.

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I was intrigued by the premise, I was ultimately disappointed in the execution. During the first few chapters, there are hints at a tragic back-story for the family, which comes out later, and this could have been a fascinating component to the story. Instead, it got lost in the clutter of issues. There's the tragedy, there's the very Jewish aunt with the enormous family, there's the cousin who's afraid of the world, the cousin who won't look girls in the face, the very secular friend and her wild sisters, the boy on the beach, the main character's exploration of Judaism, the freak accident, the arguing parents...it was all too much. There were several incidents which seemed to be introduced only to highlight different areas of Jewish life, without serving the story. Marne's introduction to Judaism, and the way she dealt with the family tragedy, which felt like they were real heart of the story, got shoved to the side by all the clutter.

The final straw was the way the characters talked. Here she is, age 15, talking to the boy from the beach: "'And as the years went on,' she said, eyes straight ahead, pushing the stroller, 'I didn't know what I wanted, what to ask for, in case asking made any difference...And I kept asking myself, Whose fault was it? Was it my fault? Was it my mom's fault...It went on for so long.' 'Terrible,' Jeff said. His face looked pinched and pale. 'That's so terrible for you.'"

No, it's so terrible for ME. Still, it's the rare YA book that actually explores issues of spirituality, so I could see it appealing to some readers on that level. But really, can't we talk about religion AND have good writing?

[Julia Hananel · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book was EXCELLENT and I’m planning to reread. Very spiritual and thought provoking

[Jennifer Wardrip · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reviewed by Julie M. Prince for TeensReadToo.com

It seems like such a good idea. Marne knows that her mom's sister, Carole, lives in Hawaii, so she has only to convince her parents that she should go for a long overdue visit to her relatives. She'll run along the beach, maybe even surf and swim in the ocean. Best of all, her friend will also be visiting Hawaii, so there will be no end of fun. When her parents agree to Marne's plan, she knows she's in for the perfect summer in the paradise of the Hawaiian islands!

It doesn't take long for Marne to realize that her summer may not be as flawless as she'd hoped. Her aunt, who now calls herself "Chaya" and her uncle, a rabbi, have seven children. Marne is kept busy chasing after sticky toddlers and running errands for her busy, controlling aunt. She doesn't mind helping out, but the religious world of her cousins is far different from the life she's used to back home in L.A.

Although spending Friday nights at Shabbos dinners is a far cry from the fun-filled, tropical nights she'd envisioned, Marne finds herself strangely drawn to some of the peaceful rituals practiced by her relatives. But, how will this fit in with her old life? Will her best friend, Kim, think Marne's becoming weird? What about Jeff, the hunky surfer she met while jogging on the beach? Little by little, she's figuring out who her family is and who she herself wants to become.

STRANGE RELATIONS is an enticing read for anyone interested in exploring different cultures and lifestyles. Marne is a wonderful guide, who gives a thorough glimpse of the life of Chasidic Jews, as seen by a modern teen.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fifteen-year-old Marne has her summer all figured out. She’ll stay with her aunt Carol who lives in Hawaii with her husband and seven children. Sure, Marne will help out, but she’ll also be able to run on the beach and spend the summer in paradise. Marne’s mom isn’t so sure; Carol now goes by Chaya, her husband is a Rabbi, they have 7 children, and they are observant, conservative Jews. Marne persists, though, and is allowed to go. At first, Marne is overwhelmed at the chaos of her aunt’s home, and she is frustrated at the things she isn’t used to, like not drinking milk at dinner so as to keep kosher. Eventually, though, Marne starts to find peace in some of the rituals, and she starts to heal from the shadow in her family’s past. I really, really enjoyed this story about a girl who “finds herself” in a completely different way than she expected.

Odd tidbit: This is the second book in the past 2 months that I read that has a character who is kidnapped named "Jody."

Geography Challenge: Hawaii

[Annica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I thought her family was really wierd but I understand that religion is religion. I am proud of her for how she acted with her friends. She made the right choice and so did Jeff, in the end. This book made me wish that I liked running.

[Winter Gray · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s pretty good, I go like it, but the end gets so confusing and weird that I can’t get past it.

JEFF.

I HATE HIM.

HE IS THE EPITOME OF STALE MARSHMALLOWS.

HE IS A DUDE BRO MIXED WITH A SOFT BOY.

HE IS A MANIPULATING AGGRAVATING JERK.


1- his name is Jeff

Self explanatory.


2 -he blames his friends and past for his bad actions.

He says to Marne “I don’t mean to make excuses” AND THEN HE PROCEEDS TO MAKE EXUSES. First he says that his friends are jerks, then he says he thought she was into him, then he says that he never had a mom so he isn’t good at talking to girls.

EXUSE ME

NOT GOOD AT TALKING TO GIRLS????

YOU TALK TO MARNE AND HER FRIENDS JUST FINE.

Talking to girls was not a problem until now. YOU ARE YHE ONE WHO STARTED TALKING TO MARNE SO DON’T COME AT ME WITH THAT SORRY EXUSE.
It would be one thing I’d he said it was the alcohol and drugs, and I would be more forgiving then, but he blames literally everything else.

Also, you aren’t good at talking to girls because he grew up without a mom? Are you telling me in all of school, all of LIFE, you haven’t talked to a girl? Because that’s hard to believe.


anyways I could go on and on but I’ll end it here. The rest of the book was good though.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book. A young girl who goes to spend the summer with her Orthodox Jewish Aunt and her family. The religious aspect was not predominant and I didn't really feel like I understood Marne's feelings about religion and God. It felt like the author was trying to tackle too many topics at once. A kidnapped and missing sister, sex, religion, independence and family relations. A little scattered. I did enjoy the characters, but didn't feel as attached to them as I do with a more focused read.

[Lisa Bernstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book thinking it would be light reading about a teen going to Hawaii for the summer and staying with her religious aunt's family. It was a quick read, yet, it had fantastic depth to it. Marne learns to appreciate the beauty of her aunt's family's traditions and faith, and she grapples with deep questions such as why do bad things happen to good people as she copes with her own experiences. To the author's credit, there are good thoughts without there being pat answers, and Marne learns from this religious/cultural exchange without losing herself or her identity.

[Ruby · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyable read but in terms of storyline there was lack of. The point of the story was character development of Marne but I felt that the development was so unnoticeable that it didn’t work. Aside from that the book went on a bit, didn’t love wouldn’t recommend.

[Zach Strassburger · Rating 4 out of 5]

YA about a secular girl who visits her ba’al teshuva Chabadnik relatives in Hawaii for a summer. It is very rare to read fiction about religious communities and I thought this was well done.

[Lacey Louwagie · Rating 3 out of 5]

50-state challenge: Hawaii

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting book. I picked this book for a project I'm doing in my YA Materials class. It's about a secular Jewish girl named Marne who goes to visit her aunt Carole (who has changed her named to Chaya) and her family in Hawaii. She finds out her aunt has married a Chasidic rabbi and has seven children, and she gets to know them during her stay. She finds out that these "Strange Relations" as her mother calls them, are not so strange and their way of doing things are actually good and something that Marne is interested in doing more of in the future. During her stay, Marne meets a local boy named Jeff whose dad is stationed on the Island and falls for him. All is well with them until one night after her best friend Kim comes to visit with her sisters and things start getting out of hand. The boys that she is out with offer her beer and pills, and then Jeff tries to go to far with her and she ends on running back to her aunt's house to hang out with her family. Jeff comes to apologize and explains that his mom ran out on him when he was little and he never knew how to talk to girls, and then Marne explains to him about her little sister Jody being kidnapped and them never finding her and how it affected her life. They find they have a lot in common and promise to keep in touch once Marne flies back to LA. A quick read and I loved learning about the Chasidic Jewish tradition.

[Melanie Hetrick · Rating 3 out of 5]

What more could a 15-year-old girl ask for? Marne gets to spend her summer in Hawaii while her parents are away! Awesome, right? Maybe not...Marne's aunt and uncle are Hasidic Jews who have "crazy rituals and will try to convert you" according to her mother. Marne is on guard when she arrives in Hawaii but quickly falls into the routine of a family with 7 kids. She helps out with the little ones and quickly becomes a favorite at the Jewish day camp. Sabbath proves to be a challenge as Marne finds she is not allowed to wash her hair or play her guitar until sundown on Saturday.

Marne works through typical teenage dilemmas while trying to come to grips with her families religiousness. But she is really looking for answers to a not-so-typical teenage problem: her little sister, Jody, was kidnapped and Marne is hoping that having a conversation with God will help.

This was an interesting novel overall. But I have to say that the kidnapping of the little sister was quite random. No explanation was ever given, which may be the point. but readers are never told how she was taken or if a ransom was ever demanded. Any idea why she was taken? Plus this issue is not resolved at the end.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book about a secular Jewish girl named Marne who spends the summer with her ultra orthodox Hacidic aunt, uncle and cousins. It was interesting to see how Hacidics view themselves, although frankly, the book did lend a cult like atmosphere to how the aunt converted from hippiechick to religious zealot upon entering a college religious group and meeting a man she later marries. I live in a heavily Jewish area, with a high amount of Hacidics and frankly, this book really kept out the negatives..it talks a lot about the Torah, but never mentions Talmudic Law, which governs Hacidics..Talmudic law dictates that non-Jews aren't human and we are placed here for their amusement and it is okay to lie, cheat, steal from us and even kill us. It's a pretty barbaric religion. I worked in the wireless industry and battled Hacids making fake insurance claims daily and I wondered how a people who appear so religious could be so deceitful...that's when I learned about Talmudic law from secular Jews and it fell in to place. This book really whitewashes all that and makes it look like their main goal is to bring the secular back to the fold.

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Marne is a non religious Jew who goes to Hawaii for the summer and stays with her aunt's Lubavitcher family. She had wanted a summer in paradise but ends up helping out with her aunt's day camp, doing decidely unparadise kinds of stuff and learning all about how the ultra religious live, with rules and blessings for everything. She meets a boy which complicates things a bit. While I found this a good book and like the things Marne learns, there were a couple of issues I have with it. First of all, since I'm Jewish, I could understand most of what was going on in the family. I don't know if non-Jewish teens could make sense of it all. Marne wasn't always a likeable character, not that she had to be but, what did she expect inviting herself to live with a family with 7 kids? Finally, there was a whole side issue about Marne's sister who was kidnapped and never found. It seems to have been added to get Marne to understand God's agenda, but somehow, it seemed unnecessary.

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is not much literature for Jewish teens where Judaism plays much of a role. Usually characters are Jewish, but very assimilated, as is indeed the main character of the book. But when she goes to visit her Aunt Carole, Chaya now, she finds herself immersed in a Hasidic lifestyle, sort of like going on an exchange program in a foreign country. The back story of her sister having been kidnapped was a bit weird, I would have thought everyone would have worried more about her when she went off. And the scene with the boys on the beach was over the top, but it's definitely a good book for Jewish teens seeking answers as to where they fit in.

[Stephanie A. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the writing style, but it's hard to decide which culture I ended up disliking more - the super-Orthodox Jews who think bare legs are scandalous & turning on lights constitutes "work" on the holy day, or the modern teen world of their niece, who thinks booze & "safe" pills are totally okay at a summer beach party just because her best friend gave them to her. And this was after she'd spent half the summer actually coming to appreciate her relatives' way of life.

[Janelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I know I'm probably being unfair, but I just couldn't get into the book. I think I read to chapter seven and just couldn't go any farther. It didn't interest me at all, and not once did it make me want to continue reading. Maybe I'll give it another shot some other time, but as of right now it's going straight back to the library.

[WCPL Teens · Rating 3 out of 5]

When Marne opts to spend the summer with her aunt, uncle, and seven cousins in Hawaii, she's not sure what she got herself into. Instead of lounging around on the beach, she's running errands, babysitting, helping at camp, and witnessing the strange practices of her relatives, who are Chasidic Jews.

[Michelle Walker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting insight into Chasidic Jewish belief, practice, and culture. It is the story of a less orthodox girl moving in with relatives who are very orthodox. She and they come to understand one another and how religion functions in their lives. A good multi-cultural read. not the best writing i've ever encountered.

[Abbi Kraus · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book taught me so much about the daily lives of Orthodox Jews. When Marne (a secular Jew) goes to visit with her Aunt and Uncle's family in Hawaii she reluctantly becomes a part of their daily rituals and lifestyle. This is a great book for middle school children and anyone who would like to know more about Judaism and the Orthodox Jewish lifestyle.

[Elaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

What is it like to live with cousins who have religion deeply rooted in their heart? Marne first could not stand it. She viewed them as aliens from another world. As the story goes on, she learns more about their cousins and their religion and eventually understands the reasons of their behaviors. It is very interesting to see how the main character goes through the process of understanding them.

[Keri Murcray · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a truly wonderful book. I checked it out from the public library and it was last second decision purely based on the title and cover. But I am so glad that I read it. I loved the glimpses of Jewish life and felt drawn to the peace, acceptance, and meaning described. A really lovely and meaningful book.

[Mahina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pros - Great book for Jewish teens. Main character must deal with feelings associated with the abduction (never found) of her younger sister.
Cons - Mild racism and although the book is set in Hawaii there are no realistic Hawaiian or local people depicted.

[P. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was with this tale of a 15 year old girl living with her Orthodox Jewish relatives for the summer right up until the last couple of chapters, when I felt that the author reached a little too far in the interests of making things more dramatic. Otherwise I would have been neutral.

[Tiff · Rating 3 out of 5]

A few quick notes:
* great character development in this story
* learned quite a bit about Judaism
* really enjoyed this book

[Angelstar Cheng · Rating 4 out of 5]

it was a little wierd and disgusting but still good!

[Alina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read it this summer. Takes place in Hawaii in the summer. She lives with her crazy, religious relatives who have strong restrictions against blay, and etc.

[Abigail · Rating 1 out of 5]

made it maybe halfway. unpleasant to read. can't imagine who could tolerate reading this through.