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Pedepsiti prin recompense
The basic strategy we use for raising children, teaching students, and managing workers can be summarized in six words: Do this and you'll get that. We dangle goodies (from candy bars to sales commissions) in front of people in much the same way we train the family pet. Drawing on a wealth of psychological research, Alfie Kohn points the way to a more successful strategy based on working with people instead of doing things to them. "Do rewards motivate people?" asks Kohn. "Yes. They motivate people to get rewards." Seasoned with humor and familiar examples, Punished By Rewards presents an argument unsettling to hear but impossible to dismiss.
440 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1993
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About the author
Alfie Kohn
51 books546 followers Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. The author of fourteen books and scores of articles, he lectures at education conferences and universities as well as to parent groups and corporations.
Kohn's criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as "perhaps the country's most outspoken critic of education's fixation on grades [and] test scores."
Kohn lives (actually) in the Boston area with his wife and two children, and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org.
Kohn's criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as "perhaps the country's most outspoken critic of education's fixation on grades [and] test scores."
Kohn lives (actually) in the Boston area with his wife and two children, and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 547 reviews
March 27, 2008
As a college student, I had been very interested in Alfie Kohn's philosophies. After graduating and getting a job much sooner than expected, I decided to read this book. I am amazed by how much we control other people with rewards. I've never been a fan of behaviorism...in any form. Which doesn't make me widely popular as a teacher. My students were stunned when I took over and explained that I do not give treats for asking questions or learning. I also explained to them that they are not dogs and they don't get a treat for doing what they're asked. It's still a little rough at times, trying to keep order in a classroom with students who want rewards for doing so. I feel that so much character is built on intrinsic guidelines, it's too important to tamper with. I whole-heartedly agree with Kohn and love how he takes this book into life with adults as well as children. It puts me in a student's shoes---how do I feel about my boss trying to reward me into working hard when I would do that in the first place. What does it do to our work ethic, self esteem, and intrinsic motivation?!! I found this book very interesting and absolutely a MUST-READ!
January 19, 2013
My daughter's gr. 1 teacher just announced that if the kids read 100 books, they'd get a reward. Instead of being enthusiastic, or eager to read, DD just got upset and worried that now she can't get the reward because 100 seemed way too many. How different is 100 from a bazillion to a gr. 1 kid who barely knows how to count that high?
Reading this book helped me to understand that frustration, and non-interest is a normal reaction to bribery. Kohn states that kids and adults alike see both rewards (incentive programs) and punishments as methods of controlling them. They tend to like the task less and work less hard to accomplish the project. This goes against society's ingrained belief that rewarding someone -whether by tangible items or praise motivates them to do better. He believes we should discuss things with kids, employees etc.& work together to empower people no matter what age so they feel interested in the work they are doing. Kids can only learn to develop values and make decisions by being given the opportunities to practice and see the natural concequences of their own choices (age appropriately, of course.)
My daughter does like to get a reward when she accomplishes something that's difficult for her! i guess i'm kind of working on the less rewards/ punishments and more explaining stuff to her. OTOH, how do you explain to a 6 yr old she can't stand outside the grocery store because in our society she could get picked up by an evil person. I don't want to scare her. I also didn't want her to find out the hard way that i was right on this one (hopefully i'm wrong). So it became a 'because i said so and i don't want to scare you so i'm not telling you why'.
I did let her watch her ballet class last week instead of making her participate. By the end of the lesson she decided on her own that maybe she could have participated. This week she went to class no problem. I let her learn by her own experience that she actually likes dance class. So i am testing his theory out.
Good points: Kohn backs up his theory with lots of studies. He divides the book into sections so if you're just looking for how incentive programs work to motivate employees you can turn to that chapter. Ditto for school teachers and for parents.
Unfortunately because the book is divided into sections above, it gets repetitious. hence 41/2 stars.
fav quotes:
P 250-1 Ryan and Deci have made an important distinction between 2 versions of internalization. In ‘introjection’… children swallow the rule whole. It is inside them but essentially unprocessed. It is possible to feel controlled from the inside as well as the outside; people sometimes pressure themselves in much the same way that they can be pressured by external events.’
Internalization by itself- even the kind identified as introjection satisfies someone whose chief concern is to get a child to do something without the adult’s having to stand around prodding him with bribes and threats. Like a wind-up toy, a child who has introjected a particular value will stay in motion after the controller has left the scene. No wonder those who direct and profit from a particular … system prefer a ‘self-controlled—not just controlled—work force.’ 47
Ryan & Deci argue persuasively tht we shold aim higher than this. [They propose] integration, [which] involves helping a child make the value her own, understand its rationale,and experience a sense of self-determination in acting in accordence with it. The objective here is a deeper experience of choice, one understood not just as a selection of Option A over Option B but as something’ anchored' in the sense of a fuller, more integrated functioning. 49. Adults can help children reach this goal by supporing their autonomy, giving them chances to solve their own problems… inviting them to participate in making meaningful decisions and engaging them in discussion about all of the above.
I [ A Kohn] think we want children not only to be deeply committed to our values and rules but to be capable of making their own decisions about which values and rules to embrace. Here, too, the best preparation for making decisions is practice at making decisions...Moreover, we will have to trust children at some point. This is a far cry from trying to implant a piece of ourselves in a child so he or she ‘voluntarily’ makes all the same decisions we would make.
P 265 In another study, … supervisors were told that someone whose work they were overseeing either enjoyed the task or was doing it just for the money. Even tho these messages were generated randomly and bore no relation to the individual’s actual attitudes, the supervisors who believed they were in charge of someone who was extrinsically motivated responded by becoming more controlling. As a result, the employee did in fact end up less interested in the task, confirming the expectation about how one ‘has to' treat such employees. Conversely, the belief that a worker wasn’t just interested in getting a reward led supervisors to create the kind of work environment where the employee did come to enjoy the work more. 1
1 Pelletier, L & R. Vallerand. Supervisors’ Beliefs & Subordinates’ Intrinsic Motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 71 (1996) 331-40
252 In the final analysis, none of the virtues, including generosity and caring, can be successfully promoted in the absence of choice. A man recalled being "taught that my highest duty was to help those in need" but added that he learned this lesson in the context of the importance of "obeying promptly the wishes and commands of my parents, teachers, and priests, and indeed of all adults...Whatever they said was always right."
The man who said this was Rudolf Hoess, the infamous commandant of Auschwitz. Prosocial values are important, but if the environment in which they are taught emhasizes obedience rather than autonomy, all may be lost.
Question: My daughter is afraid to try new foods (won't even touch them.) If i reward her for surmounting her fears is that the same as rewarding for something normal? See, i thot that getting something tangible helps her think about something other than how afraid she is. And it seems to work, too. She sees the goodies from the dollar store and wants to try a new food ( or retry a new food, since it takes more than 1 try to like a food, experts say) to get the coveted toy she's seen. She now eats vanilla yoghurt :)
Reading this book helped me to understand that frustration, and non-interest is a normal reaction to bribery. Kohn states that kids and adults alike see both rewards (incentive programs) and punishments as methods of controlling them. They tend to like the task less and work less hard to accomplish the project. This goes against society's ingrained belief that rewarding someone -whether by tangible items or praise motivates them to do better. He believes we should discuss things with kids, employees etc.& work together to empower people no matter what age so they feel interested in the work they are doing. Kids can only learn to develop values and make decisions by being given the opportunities to practice and see the natural concequences of their own choices (age appropriately, of course.)
My daughter does like to get a reward when she accomplishes something that's difficult for her! i guess i'm kind of working on the less rewards/ punishments and more explaining stuff to her. OTOH, how do you explain to a 6 yr old she can't stand outside the grocery store because in our society she could get picked up by an evil person. I don't want to scare her. I also didn't want her to find out the hard way that i was right on this one (hopefully i'm wrong). So it became a 'because i said so and i don't want to scare you so i'm not telling you why'.
I did let her watch her ballet class last week instead of making her participate. By the end of the lesson she decided on her own that maybe she could have participated. This week she went to class no problem. I let her learn by her own experience that she actually likes dance class. So i am testing his theory out.
Good points: Kohn backs up his theory with lots of studies. He divides the book into sections so if you're just looking for how incentive programs work to motivate employees you can turn to that chapter. Ditto for school teachers and for parents.
Unfortunately because the book is divided into sections above, it gets repetitious. hence 41/2 stars.
fav quotes:
P 250-1 Ryan and Deci have made an important distinction between 2 versions of internalization. In ‘introjection’… children swallow the rule whole. It is inside them but essentially unprocessed. It is possible to feel controlled from the inside as well as the outside; people sometimes pressure themselves in much the same way that they can be pressured by external events.’
Internalization by itself- even the kind identified as introjection satisfies someone whose chief concern is to get a child to do something without the adult’s having to stand around prodding him with bribes and threats. Like a wind-up toy, a child who has introjected a particular value will stay in motion after the controller has left the scene. No wonder those who direct and profit from a particular … system prefer a ‘self-controlled—not just controlled—work force.’ 47
Ryan & Deci argue persuasively tht we shold aim higher than this. [They propose] integration, [which] involves helping a child make the value her own, understand its rationale,and experience a sense of self-determination in acting in accordence with it. The objective here is a deeper experience of choice, one understood not just as a selection of Option A over Option B but as something’ anchored' in the sense of a fuller, more integrated functioning. 49. Adults can help children reach this goal by supporing their autonomy, giving them chances to solve their own problems… inviting them to participate in making meaningful decisions and engaging them in discussion about all of the above.
I [ A Kohn] think we want children not only to be deeply committed to our values and rules but to be capable of making their own decisions about which values and rules to embrace. Here, too, the best preparation for making decisions is practice at making decisions...Moreover, we will have to trust children at some point. This is a far cry from trying to implant a piece of ourselves in a child so he or she ‘voluntarily’ makes all the same decisions we would make.
P 265 In another study, … supervisors were told that someone whose work they were overseeing either enjoyed the task or was doing it just for the money. Even tho these messages were generated randomly and bore no relation to the individual’s actual attitudes, the supervisors who believed they were in charge of someone who was extrinsically motivated responded by becoming more controlling. As a result, the employee did in fact end up less interested in the task, confirming the expectation about how one ‘has to' treat such employees. Conversely, the belief that a worker wasn’t just interested in getting a reward led supervisors to create the kind of work environment where the employee did come to enjoy the work more. 1
1 Pelletier, L & R. Vallerand. Supervisors’ Beliefs & Subordinates’ Intrinsic Motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 71 (1996) 331-40
252 In the final analysis, none of the virtues, including generosity and caring, can be successfully promoted in the absence of choice. A man recalled being "taught that my highest duty was to help those in need" but added that he learned this lesson in the context of the importance of "obeying promptly the wishes and commands of my parents, teachers, and priests, and indeed of all adults...Whatever they said was always right."
The man who said this was Rudolf Hoess, the infamous commandant of Auschwitz. Prosocial values are important, but if the environment in which they are taught emhasizes obedience rather than autonomy, all may be lost.
Question: My daughter is afraid to try new foods (won't even touch them.) If i reward her for surmounting her fears is that the same as rewarding for something normal? See, i thot that getting something tangible helps her think about something other than how afraid she is. And it seems to work, too. She sees the goodies from the dollar store and wants to try a new food ( or retry a new food, since it takes more than 1 try to like a food, experts say) to get the coveted toy she's seen. She now eats vanilla yoghurt :)
November 27, 2012
I have never read a book that so questioned societal norms, nor have I ever altered my views so much based on the concepts introduced in a book. The title of this book explains exactly what readers can expect. As with any book discussing parenting skills, work levels, and manipulation, readers will have to determine for themselves whether or not they can agree, disagree, or at least rethink their previous opinions. This book requires readers to look closely at the heart of motivations -- both intrinsic and extrinsic -- and at the true outcomes that we wish to achieve.
Because the concepts "rang true" for me, I began re-evaluating my parenting and managerial skills. I took most extrinsic rewards out of my dealings with my children, with my staff, and with our customers. As a library director I even insisted that we take prizes out of our summer reading clubs. I have been amazed at the positive results. Since that time my children have done much better in school. My staff members seem to give much more of themselves to their jobs. Our summer reading club enrollment and final numbers DOUBLED the first year. The main problems that I have had are when parents and teachers (though almost never children) seem unable to make the change.
Unable to follow every single precept in the book, I do continue to dole out sporatic "good job" and "I appreciate that you ..." to acknowledge excellent work. :)
Though thought provoking, the book is repetitious. It is broken into several sections, and readers may choose only to read the section or sections that partain to them.
Because the concepts "rang true" for me, I began re-evaluating my parenting and managerial skills. I took most extrinsic rewards out of my dealings with my children, with my staff, and with our customers. As a library director I even insisted that we take prizes out of our summer reading clubs. I have been amazed at the positive results. Since that time my children have done much better in school. My staff members seem to give much more of themselves to their jobs. Our summer reading club enrollment and final numbers DOUBLED the first year. The main problems that I have had are when parents and teachers (though almost never children) seem unable to make the change.
Unable to follow every single precept in the book, I do continue to dole out sporatic "good job" and "I appreciate that you ..." to acknowledge excellent work. :)
Though thought provoking, the book is repetitious. It is broken into several sections, and readers may choose only to read the section or sections that partain to them.
October 14, 2010
What a great book! I have long been bothered by the question, "How do you motivate people?" And the answer is here--you cannot motivate people with extrinsic rewards. You can only set up situations so that the motivation comes from within, intrinsically. You must do this by giving the person control over decisions, over his life. Incentives, rewards, grades, and punishments remove personal control; they work in the short term, but when the incentives are stopped, the desired behavior stops also. A huge amount of research went into this book; all of the findings are extremely well documented.
The book has truly altered the way I think about dealing with other people. So, the big question is, "Do I have the courage to follow through with this approach?"
The book has truly altered the way I think about dealing with other people. So, the big question is, "Do I have the courage to follow through with this approach?"
August 13, 2007
A lot of what the author says - that the use of rewards as motivators (for children, students, employees, etc.) is not only ineffective, but often detrimental to morale and motivation - makes a lot of sense, and certainly represents a fresh perspective. Despite this, however, I couldn't shake a lingering feeling of disagreement. Not that I don't believe his arguments...but I also don't think he leaves enough room for individual difference. For example, while I do agree with him that intrinsic motivators are better in the long run than extrinsic ones, I can think of numerous times that rewards, praise, "A"s, etc. have effectively motivated me without killing a more native drive to succeed. Still, the book provides a lot of food for thought - and fodder for potentially productive argument- to anyone raising kids, teaching students at any level or managing employees. Certainly worth reading.
March 15, 2019
'Punished' is mandatory reading for parents, teachers and managers. I came into this title after a brief reference in Non-Violent Communication to learn more about my oldest daughter as she enters elementary school. I unpacked as much if not more about my own upbringing and its contributions to my own mental makeup.
In a nutshell, "we've all been Skinner-boxed":
(1) our "do this and you will get that" societal structures promote conformity not autonomy,
(2) rewards maintain this societal structure as much as punishments, and
(3) rewards compromise peak performance and destroy intrinsic motivation.
All of these conclusions are backed by empirical evidence.
Kohn pulls no punches in his assault on late 20th-century pedagogies, an assault that's wholly applicable in our current-day "Like" era of Facebook/Twitter. As Kohn quotes psychologist John Nicholls in reference to Pizza Hut's incentive-based 'Book It!' school program: the program is designed to create "a lot of fat kids who don’t like to read."
Our response to these discoveries should be the "3 Cs" of creating conditions for authentic motivation:
(1) collaboration (amongst individuals),
(2) content (i.e. understanding the reasoning behind actions on an individual basis), and
(3) choice (i.e. room for individual autonomy).
This response is equally applicable in the domains of parenting, education, and corporate management.
Alfie Kohn does a fine job of narrating his own title in 2017, 20+ years after the original print publication. He adds a significant audio-only footnote stating that he still firmly stands behind all this research, even after raising his two children.
"I was taught that my highest duty was to help those in need by obeying promptly the wishes of parents, teachers, priests and all adults. Whatever they said was always right."
-- Rudolph Hoess, Commandant of the Auschwitz WWII concentration camp
Pocket notes below for reference.
--------------(tl;dr)--------------
- Token economies are perhaps not native human behavior, but just a system that reinforces its own existence as it goes
- Rewards empower the rewarder, not the rewarded. This is easy to see when receiving, hard to see when giving.
- "Contrast Effect" people regress further than control groups when rewards are removed
- Peak performance is not acheived when tokens are the motivation (e.g. college students tacking candles to the wall with matches)
- If a problem is interesting and the solution is open-ended, rewards simply fail to acheive their presumed goal.
- Rewards and punishments are two sides of the same coin. They coerce vs. allow for growth opportunities.
- Rewards wreck super/subordinate relationships and break cooperation. Problems are concealed ('a police car in your mirror') and peers are seen as barriers.
- Rewards ignore reasons.
- Rewards discourage risk taking, for the reward is the only thing that's focused on ("the fastest way out of the maze."). Repitition is encouraged.
- Ask students what they learned, not what grade they got.
- "The old man paying children for insulting him."
- The Gestalt behind actions is forever changed by rewards; very difficult to undo.
- People behave as if addicted to awards. Awards are like giving thirsty people salt water.
- "Book It!" just creates a bunch of fat children who hate reading.
- Cheap praise allows adults to take the lazy road. "Good job" is parental Tourette's Syndrome.
- If you must praise, praise the work not the person, be very specific about what you're praising, and choose words that encourage autonomy.
- Overwhelmingly people care more about intrinsic rewards than money. However, people think others care more about money.
- Fair compensation is all that is needed. Inadequate compensation hurts.
- "Kicks in the ass" produce movement, not motivation. Skinner-based behaviorism is great for pets, but bad for humans.
- Children already have a craving for learning. No motivations are needed. Rewards make learning no longer their own.
- "How am I doing?" The worst question to hear from a subordinate regularly. They have lost their autonomy.
- "Punishement renders autonomy of conscious impossible." - Piaget
- "Be careful not to do your good deed when there is no one watching you." - Tom Lehrer, in a mockery of the Boy Scout motto
- Pop behaviorism: one size fits all.
- "Thank God it's Monday": abolish incentives, do what it takes to get money out of your people's minds
- Re-evaulate evaluation. It should be a two-way conversation, divorced from salary. Don't rank performance.
- Grades need to be replaced with comments, and the opportunity to improve.
- Grades make unsafe environments for conversation.
- "Students are alienated from their own preferences and don't even know who they are."
- Trying to get into Harvard: "Preparation H"
- One student asked: "You're telling me not to get into a race for traditional awards. What else is there?" The most depressing question ever asked to Alfie: there was a hole where the student's soul should have been.
- Look for a child's interest. Never ask about her grades.
- What did you do that was fun?
- Did you read something that surprised you?
- How did it feel to solve that math question?
- When do you think the Civil War started?
- Limit graded assignments. Limit gradations: "A vs Incomplete"
- Never grade while students are learning.
- Never grade effort.
- Never curve.
- Bring students into the evaluation process.
- Success and failure must be seen as information, NOT reward and punishment.
- Welcome mistakes.
- Be "the guide on the side, not the sage on the stage."
- "The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost, A Servant to Servants
- "Because I said so" versus "Here's why"
- Bring the kid into decisions and conversation as much as possible.
- Care. Model. Explain. Emphasize perspective taking.
- "War is a monsterous failure of imagination." - Kafka
- Introjection: "wind-up toy children" vs Intergration: "make the value your own"
- "I was taught that my highest duty was to help those in need by obeying promptly the wishes of parents, teachers, priests and all adults. Whatever they said was always right." - Rudolph Hoess, Commandant of the Auschwitz WWII concentration camp
- Children need and want limits, however.
- Don't resist responsibility. Don't provide non-sensical or canned responses.
- Don't pull wool over children's eyes by making them have a false sense of control/consent.
- Anyone who has the courage to question any of their own dogmas is exactly what children need to see.
- 'Punished' was mentioned by both Parents magazine and Harvard Business Review.
- Don't determine how motivated someone is. Determine how one is motivated.
In a nutshell, "we've all been Skinner-boxed":
(1) our "do this and you will get that" societal structures promote conformity not autonomy,
(2) rewards maintain this societal structure as much as punishments, and
(3) rewards compromise peak performance and destroy intrinsic motivation.
All of these conclusions are backed by empirical evidence.
Kohn pulls no punches in his assault on late 20th-century pedagogies, an assault that's wholly applicable in our current-day "Like" era of Facebook/Twitter. As Kohn quotes psychologist John Nicholls in reference to Pizza Hut's incentive-based 'Book It!' school program: the program is designed to create "a lot of fat kids who don’t like to read."
Our response to these discoveries should be the "3 Cs" of creating conditions for authentic motivation:
(1) collaboration (amongst individuals),
(2) content (i.e. understanding the reasoning behind actions on an individual basis), and
(3) choice (i.e. room for individual autonomy).
This response is equally applicable in the domains of parenting, education, and corporate management.
Alfie Kohn does a fine job of narrating his own title in 2017, 20+ years after the original print publication. He adds a significant audio-only footnote stating that he still firmly stands behind all this research, even after raising his two children.
"I was taught that my highest duty was to help those in need by obeying promptly the wishes of parents, teachers, priests and all adults. Whatever they said was always right."
-- Rudolph Hoess, Commandant of the Auschwitz WWII concentration camp
Pocket notes below for reference.
--------------(tl;dr)--------------
- Token economies are perhaps not native human behavior, but just a system that reinforces its own existence as it goes
- Rewards empower the rewarder, not the rewarded. This is easy to see when receiving, hard to see when giving.
- "Contrast Effect" people regress further than control groups when rewards are removed
- Peak performance is not acheived when tokens are the motivation (e.g. college students tacking candles to the wall with matches)
- If a problem is interesting and the solution is open-ended, rewards simply fail to acheive their presumed goal.
- Rewards and punishments are two sides of the same coin. They coerce vs. allow for growth opportunities.
- Rewards wreck super/subordinate relationships and break cooperation. Problems are concealed ('a police car in your mirror') and peers are seen as barriers.
- Rewards ignore reasons.
- Rewards discourage risk taking, for the reward is the only thing that's focused on ("the fastest way out of the maze."). Repitition is encouraged.
- Ask students what they learned, not what grade they got.
- "The old man paying children for insulting him."
- The Gestalt behind actions is forever changed by rewards; very difficult to undo.
- People behave as if addicted to awards. Awards are like giving thirsty people salt water.
- "Book It!" just creates a bunch of fat children who hate reading.
- Cheap praise allows adults to take the lazy road. "Good job" is parental Tourette's Syndrome.
- If you must praise, praise the work not the person, be very specific about what you're praising, and choose words that encourage autonomy.
- Overwhelmingly people care more about intrinsic rewards than money. However, people think others care more about money.
- Fair compensation is all that is needed. Inadequate compensation hurts.
- "Kicks in the ass" produce movement, not motivation. Skinner-based behaviorism is great for pets, but bad for humans.
- Children already have a craving for learning. No motivations are needed. Rewards make learning no longer their own.
- "How am I doing?" The worst question to hear from a subordinate regularly. They have lost their autonomy.
- "Punishement renders autonomy of conscious impossible." - Piaget
- "Be careful not to do your good deed when there is no one watching you." - Tom Lehrer, in a mockery of the Boy Scout motto
- Pop behaviorism: one size fits all.
- "Thank God it's Monday": abolish incentives, do what it takes to get money out of your people's minds
- Re-evaulate evaluation. It should be a two-way conversation, divorced from salary. Don't rank performance.
- Grades need to be replaced with comments, and the opportunity to improve.
- Grades make unsafe environments for conversation.
- "Students are alienated from their own preferences and don't even know who they are."
- Trying to get into Harvard: "Preparation H"
- One student asked: "You're telling me not to get into a race for traditional awards. What else is there?" The most depressing question ever asked to Alfie: there was a hole where the student's soul should have been.
- Look for a child's interest. Never ask about her grades.
- What did you do that was fun?
- Did you read something that surprised you?
- How did it feel to solve that math question?
- When do you think the Civil War started?
- Limit graded assignments. Limit gradations: "A vs Incomplete"
- Never grade while students are learning.
- Never grade effort.
- Never curve.
- Bring students into the evaluation process.
- Success and failure must be seen as information, NOT reward and punishment.
- Welcome mistakes.
- Be "the guide on the side, not the sage on the stage."
- "The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost, A Servant to Servants
- "Because I said so" versus "Here's why"
- Bring the kid into decisions and conversation as much as possible.
- Care. Model. Explain. Emphasize perspective taking.
- "War is a monsterous failure of imagination." - Kafka
- Introjection: "wind-up toy children" vs Intergration: "make the value your own"
- "I was taught that my highest duty was to help those in need by obeying promptly the wishes of parents, teachers, priests and all adults. Whatever they said was always right." - Rudolph Hoess, Commandant of the Auschwitz WWII concentration camp
- Children need and want limits, however.
- Don't resist responsibility. Don't provide non-sensical or canned responses.
- Don't pull wool over children's eyes by making them have a false sense of control/consent.
- Anyone who has the courage to question any of their own dogmas is exactly what children need to see.
- 'Punished' was mentioned by both Parents magazine and Harvard Business Review.
- Don't determine how motivated someone is. Determine how one is motivated.
October 2, 2014
The overarching premise of this book is that rewarding people can actually decrease the desired behavior. When people are manipulated by "if you do [x], then you get [y]" type rewards, the extrinsic motivator (the reward) starts to replace any intrinsic motivation the person might have towards the task and are much less likely to continue the behavior if/when the rewards stop. One quote that stuck out to me was that programs like "Book It!" (Pizza Hut) only serve to produce fat kids who hate reading.
The author applies this concept to both the work environment and also to education and parenting. I will admit that it has changed the way I've thought about interacting with my kids, making me think twice before offering the rote "Good job!" praise (a reward).
The author goes on to talk about alternatives to rewards, which was my favorite part of the book. He talked about the Three C's - collaboration, content, and choice. Collaboration means actually working with people (children, employees) instead of just trying to manipulate them to get them to do what you want. Content means looking at what you're asking them to do. Is it reasonable? If you want a child to do something just because YOU SAID SO, and there's no real point to it, you should rethink what you're asking. Giving people real choice about what they study, what they work on, what they are intrinsically motivated to do creates buy-in and ownership.
I applied these ideas to my current project. One of my coworkers was tasked with a tedious and uninteresting piece of work, and the return on investment was low. I realized that he had no collaboration, bad content, and no choice in the matter. He did, however, have some great ideas about improving the architecture of the code, and that work would have a very high ROI. I talked to the stakeholders of the system, pitched it to my manager, and got permission for us to shift our focus and do something that was both good for the client and infinitely more interesting for him. Now sometimes you don't have a choice about what you do at work. Uninteresting tasks need to get done - but don't assume that you have no choice. If you look for better options, ones that are more engaging and more enjoyable and more useful to the client, you might just find them.
The author lost me when he started talking about grades being a reward. He seemed to think that children shouldn't be given grades in school... there are several reasons why I disagree, but it did bring up a lot of good discussion in my book club and was worth thinking about.
The author applies this concept to both the work environment and also to education and parenting. I will admit that it has changed the way I've thought about interacting with my kids, making me think twice before offering the rote "Good job!" praise (a reward).
The author goes on to talk about alternatives to rewards, which was my favorite part of the book. He talked about the Three C's - collaboration, content, and choice. Collaboration means actually working with people (children, employees) instead of just trying to manipulate them to get them to do what you want. Content means looking at what you're asking them to do. Is it reasonable? If you want a child to do something just because YOU SAID SO, and there's no real point to it, you should rethink what you're asking. Giving people real choice about what they study, what they work on, what they are intrinsically motivated to do creates buy-in and ownership.
I applied these ideas to my current project. One of my coworkers was tasked with a tedious and uninteresting piece of work, and the return on investment was low. I realized that he had no collaboration, bad content, and no choice in the matter. He did, however, have some great ideas about improving the architecture of the code, and that work would have a very high ROI. I talked to the stakeholders of the system, pitched it to my manager, and got permission for us to shift our focus and do something that was both good for the client and infinitely more interesting for him. Now sometimes you don't have a choice about what you do at work. Uninteresting tasks need to get done - but don't assume that you have no choice. If you look for better options, ones that are more engaging and more enjoyable and more useful to the client, you might just find them.
The author lost me when he started talking about grades being a reward. He seemed to think that children shouldn't be given grades in school... there are several reasons why I disagree, but it did bring up a lot of good discussion in my book club and was worth thinking about.
February 9, 2018
Mandatory schooling is simply violence against people who have done nothing wrong.
State schooling means indoctrinating people into government orthodoxy and not much else.
The traces of the christian society in which I was raised also liked the idea. Sticks and carrots is how you train a dog. And humans are the 6th day creation, so they deserve better.
So I was on board with the book premises. Than I started to read it. Oh, boy!
The first part is not about the thesis. It is about "against Skinner". Actually, once you strip down the fluff and Kohn's personal comments, the book is mostly the last chapter: a glorified blog post written in too many words.
The problem with the anti-Skinner part is two fold. First Kohn seems to take it personally and I speculate it's for the same reasons I have picked up this book: the fuzzy feeling that humans are not animals. Second is that Skinner, as unpleasant as he might have been, showed results. Kohn documentation is about some state bureaucrat that has shown for some *publishable* article that X does not work with 10 handpicked individuals. And that is probably the main issue with Kohn study: he cherrypicks and he knows that quite well as he does not bother to verify the quality of the research, only the message.
Kohn will probably be unable to do any useful research. He is a preacher and his means of existence depend of speaking arrangements. So his argument is all about emotion and is personal. At one point the reader is lead to believe Skinner is some sort of psychopath "His mother's death is related without feeling, and the process o raising his two daughters is described as if it were one of Frederick Taylor's efficiency studies". Only that a fact should be impassionate. And Kohn is all against that. Also, he is relying on the ignorance of the reader. The quoted Frederick Taylor can be any of 26 individuals in Wikipedia.
Kohn empirical observations can also be denied empirically: "Translation: when the goodies stop, people go right back to acting the way they did before the program began". Sure, paying people to stop smoking induces a temptation to cheat in order to get the prize. But smoking itself started just like that in EVERYONE I know: being rewarded to be regarded as big, naughty, free, whatever. Once the status is achieved, the habit is still there decades after the reward is gone.
And about the final chapter? Beyond a weak "don't do like Skinner" there is nothing. There are no answers. No methods. Only the ambivalent stupidity of a koan: be rigid, yet flexible at the same time.
State schooling means indoctrinating people into government orthodoxy and not much else.
The traces of the christian society in which I was raised also liked the idea. Sticks and carrots is how you train a dog. And humans are the 6th day creation, so they deserve better.
So I was on board with the book premises. Than I started to read it. Oh, boy!
The first part is not about the thesis. It is about "against Skinner". Actually, once you strip down the fluff and Kohn's personal comments, the book is mostly the last chapter: a glorified blog post written in too many words.
The problem with the anti-Skinner part is two fold. First Kohn seems to take it personally and I speculate it's for the same reasons I have picked up this book: the fuzzy feeling that humans are not animals. Second is that Skinner, as unpleasant as he might have been, showed results. Kohn documentation is about some state bureaucrat that has shown for some *publishable* article that X does not work with 10 handpicked individuals. And that is probably the main issue with Kohn study: he cherrypicks and he knows that quite well as he does not bother to verify the quality of the research, only the message.
Kohn will probably be unable to do any useful research. He is a preacher and his means of existence depend of speaking arrangements. So his argument is all about emotion and is personal. At one point the reader is lead to believe Skinner is some sort of psychopath "His mother's death is related without feeling, and the process o raising his two daughters is described as if it were one of Frederick Taylor's efficiency studies". Only that a fact should be impassionate. And Kohn is all against that. Also, he is relying on the ignorance of the reader. The quoted Frederick Taylor can be any of 26 individuals in Wikipedia.
Kohn empirical observations can also be denied empirically: "Translation: when the goodies stop, people go right back to acting the way they did before the program began". Sure, paying people to stop smoking induces a temptation to cheat in order to get the prize. But smoking itself started just like that in EVERYONE I know: being rewarded to be regarded as big, naughty, free, whatever. Once the status is achieved, the habit is still there decades after the reward is gone.
And about the final chapter? Beyond a weak "don't do like Skinner" there is nothing. There are no answers. No methods. Only the ambivalent stupidity of a koan: be rigid, yet flexible at the same time.
February 20, 2014
Rock-solid research offered with cheeky humor. Required reading for every manager, teacher, and parent.
May 9, 2009
I love parenting books, and I love exploring different ideas on how to parent , but this one was more difficult for me. The first few chapters are based on the assumption that no one human has the right to control another person. The idea is abhorrent to Kohn. This may be true in the workplace, but for parenting and to a lesser degree schooling, there are times when even the most lenient parent must have some control. You can’t exactly reason with a two year old that running in the street isn’t safe and expect them to comply. Some control is necessary. Preferably some sort of physical boundary.
The book became more interesting to me when he started discussing intrinsic and extrinsic boundaries. Kohn presented research that proves that when rewards are used to mold behavior (he calls it pop-behavioralism), although there may be an immediate change in behavior, when the rewards are removed, the behavior returns to pre-reward or worse. There are also many studies that show that when people are offered an award for a doing a difficult task they take longer or are less likely to accomplish the task than people not offered the reward. And when children were paid for doing a puzzle, they were less likely to play with it when they thought the study was over than someone who was not paid or rewarded. So his points were that rewards (and punishments) don’t work, and that they cause our motivation to become extrinsic. That is, instead of learning for enjoyment, one learns to please the teacher, get a sticker, or a grade. Instead of sharing because of an inner compassion, we share to please a parent or because we are praised for sharing. This makes sense to me. I want my children to be motivated by intrinsic motivation, to have and act upon values deeply rooted within themselves. But as a parent, trying to teach these values, when you take away rewards and punishment (which he states is even worse than rewards), what is left? Kohn seems to suggest discussing values and reasons with children. My son is not very verbal. I think I could talk all day and still not persuade him or get any idea why he objects to my request. I really feel that Kohn has taken away my parenting tools without giving me an adequate replacement. I don’t think that he provides enough examples of solutions that do work.
The book became more interesting to me when he started discussing intrinsic and extrinsic boundaries. Kohn presented research that proves that when rewards are used to mold behavior (he calls it pop-behavioralism), although there may be an immediate change in behavior, when the rewards are removed, the behavior returns to pre-reward or worse. There are also many studies that show that when people are offered an award for a doing a difficult task they take longer or are less likely to accomplish the task than people not offered the reward. And when children were paid for doing a puzzle, they were less likely to play with it when they thought the study was over than someone who was not paid or rewarded. So his points were that rewards (and punishments) don’t work, and that they cause our motivation to become extrinsic. That is, instead of learning for enjoyment, one learns to please the teacher, get a sticker, or a grade. Instead of sharing because of an inner compassion, we share to please a parent or because we are praised for sharing. This makes sense to me. I want my children to be motivated by intrinsic motivation, to have and act upon values deeply rooted within themselves. But as a parent, trying to teach these values, when you take away rewards and punishment (which he states is even worse than rewards), what is left? Kohn seems to suggest discussing values and reasons with children. My son is not very verbal. I think I could talk all day and still not persuade him or get any idea why he objects to my request. I really feel that Kohn has taken away my parenting tools without giving me an adequate replacement. I don’t think that he provides enough examples of solutions that do work.
May 1, 2020
es varētu citēt katru otro teikumu no šīs grāmatas. profesionāli izstāstīts “šausmu stāsts” par to, ko mūsu sabiedriskās darbības sistēmās, īpaši izglītībā, izdara atzīmes, apbalvojumi un ārējie motivatori. šausmu stāsts tāpēc, ka mēs visi pa daļai tajā spēlējam galvenās lomas un vēl mēdzam ar to lepoties.
March 25, 2011
To sum it up, this book is how we are slaves and make each other slaves to rewards when, if fact rewards are actaully shown to decrease intrinsic motivation. Case studies showed children who were given a reward if they played with certain toys and then, once that reward was taken, the children were turned off to that toy. When I read it, I loved it. It seemed inspired and appealed to my soft spot for rebellion. I felt that the this might what was wring with public education.
Now, that I am finishing my student teaching, I have no clue how in the world teachers would survive in a class of 40 without the lure of grades. Extra credit, credit for bringing a book to class, credit for not talking during presentations, credit for taking notes... I loathe myself for this, but has Alfie ever tried out his preaching with an afternoon 10th grade class?
Now, that I am finishing my student teaching, I have no clue how in the world teachers would survive in a class of 40 without the lure of grades. Extra credit, credit for bringing a book to class, credit for not talking during presentations, credit for taking notes... I loathe myself for this, but has Alfie ever tried out his preaching with an afternoon 10th grade class?
December 10, 2018
Mind blown. Werk aan mijn winkel.
April 13, 2013
this book is so great in the one main thing it set out to do, which is to point out 1) how totally saturated our culture is in giving people rewards to act the way you want them to (behavioralism, a notion/technique popularized by BF Skinner but around for ages), and 2) to point out all the subsequent research showing how giving rewards for a task/attitude/behavior kills the positive relationship between the doer and the deed. If you start paying kids to play their favorite game, they lose interest in the game, etc. Merit pay doesn't improve employee performance OR company performance. On and on. It's great stuff, and as a mom, has me looking at my own techniques for keeping the three year old in line. (Let's be real, there're lots of bribes and threats.)
That said, if I read this book closely I feel like my head would explode. Not only is the prose cute and best sellers (which I honestly don't mind if the content is substantial), I found his repeated gotcha! thing irritating. And god damn is this repetitive. I mean, more than the usual repetitive idea-based, non-fiction best seller. So I read fast, skimmed many parts, all those passages where this man was reluctant to let go of the sound of his own voice, the hundred ways he makes the same point over and over, and... Okay, I"m not sure about this criticism because I was reading so fast, but I'm pretty sure there are more than a few dubious rhetorical/logical techniques. You know, when you use the conclusion as support for your conclusion. Or when you give readers false dichotomies. Or when you discredit opposing ideas entirely, make your point in a more refined way and... I pretty sure he gives his own arguments a nuance and qualifications which he doesn't give to opposing ones.
That said, this book is perfect for a skim. Because the research about bahavioralism is unequivocal. And how much we (Americans) love to reward behavior we approve of--I mean, it doesn't even seem like an idea that has competing ideas. It just feels like what makes sense, because it's so ingrained in our life. And that is a powerful point that Kohn often makes very persuasively.
I like the guy on Goodread's comment that this was the most interesting and the most boring book he's read in a while.
That said, if I read this book closely I feel like my head would explode. Not only is the prose cute and best sellers (which I honestly don't mind if the content is substantial), I found his repeated gotcha! thing irritating. And god damn is this repetitive. I mean, more than the usual repetitive idea-based, non-fiction best seller. So I read fast, skimmed many parts, all those passages where this man was reluctant to let go of the sound of his own voice, the hundred ways he makes the same point over and over, and... Okay, I"m not sure about this criticism because I was reading so fast, but I'm pretty sure there are more than a few dubious rhetorical/logical techniques. You know, when you use the conclusion as support for your conclusion. Or when you give readers false dichotomies. Or when you discredit opposing ideas entirely, make your point in a more refined way and... I pretty sure he gives his own arguments a nuance and qualifications which he doesn't give to opposing ones.
That said, this book is perfect for a skim. Because the research about bahavioralism is unequivocal. And how much we (Americans) love to reward behavior we approve of--I mean, it doesn't even seem like an idea that has competing ideas. It just feels like what makes sense, because it's so ingrained in our life. And that is a powerful point that Kohn often makes very persuasively.
I like the guy on Goodread's comment that this was the most interesting and the most boring book he's read in a while.
May 31, 2010
I didn't give this book a 5 for fantastic writing. Although, Kohn is funny and insightful at times but he is also kind of repetitive (if you only read the first 5 chapters you'd learn everything you needed to know about the problem with rewards). The ideas in this book rang true to me as I read them. For example, achieving short-term compliance from my kids by offering them rewards (go get ready for bed without a fight and I'll read you stories until 7:30) is not only manipulative and selfish motivated but undermining my long term goals of raising responsible, caring, self-motivated adults.
I should warn you that I found this book disconcerting. I could see the disadvantages of rewards in my parenting and in the schooling I received but still not at all sure what I'm going to do about it (when I was trying to finish the book I kept offering my kids rewards to go away and let me finish in peace). However, it is already paying dividends with Eden who before this was going through what I was calling the "terrible threes" when in reality the problem was we were trying to parent as if she were 5 not 3.
Jani's currently reading through a newer book of Kohn's called Unconditional Parenting. From our discussions it sounds like it has the same ideas repackaged and focused only on parenting. (Punished discusses schools and work rewards as well as parenting). So, if you're interested only parenting maybe you should try that one.
I should warn you that I found this book disconcerting. I could see the disadvantages of rewards in my parenting and in the schooling I received but still not at all sure what I'm going to do about it (when I was trying to finish the book I kept offering my kids rewards to go away and let me finish in peace). However, it is already paying dividends with Eden who before this was going through what I was calling the "terrible threes" when in reality the problem was we were trying to parent as if she were 5 not 3.
Jani's currently reading through a newer book of Kohn's called Unconditional Parenting. From our discussions it sounds like it has the same ideas repackaged and focused only on parenting. (Punished discusses schools and work rewards as well as parenting). So, if you're interested only parenting maybe you should try that one.
January 13, 2011
This book blew me away. It has made me rethink so many things I've come to accept as just "the way things are" and realize the Skinnerian world in which we were all raised. "Do this, and you get that" is such a given and such an easy quick fix to the way we obtain compliance as teachers, parents, or employers. But does it really work? and if so, for how long? and at what cost?
I am grateful to have read this book while my children are still young and I have a chance to make some choices about how I respond to them, what schools we choose, etc.
Alfie Kohn is a tremendous writer. Witty, interesting, full of good information, and acknowledges that it may not be possible to change every single habit, the system, etc. That doesn't change the fact that small changes can be made, and we can do better. I'm Alfie's newest fan girl, and have requested all his other books from the library. Cannot recommend more highly.
I am grateful to have read this book while my children are still young and I have a chance to make some choices about how I respond to them, what schools we choose, etc.
Alfie Kohn is a tremendous writer. Witty, interesting, full of good information, and acknowledges that it may not be possible to change every single habit, the system, etc. That doesn't change the fact that small changes can be made, and we can do better. I'm Alfie's newest fan girl, and have requested all his other books from the library. Cannot recommend more highly.
July 24, 2021
Mesajul cărții este unul foarte bun: recompensele de orice natură nu conduc întotdeauna la comportamente dezirabile, iar când acestea încetează, comportamentul care trebuia „corectat” revine. Fenomen prezent atât în educație cât și la locul de muncă.
I-aș fi dat un rating mai mare dacă autorul nu s-ar fi lungit atât de mult pentru un subiect care ar fi putut fi rezumat într-un articol de vreo 20-30 de pagini care să evidențieze punctele tari ale părerilor sale. Nu-mi place prea multă vorbărie. :)
I-aș fi dat un rating mai mare dacă autorul nu s-ar fi lungit atât de mult pentru un subiect care ar fi putut fi rezumat într-un articol de vreo 20-30 de pagini care să evidențieze punctele tari ale părerilor sale. Nu-mi place prea multă vorbărie. :)
March 6, 2017
For a 24 year old book, Punished by Rewards remains relevant and thought-provoking. That said, it does suffer being read so long after publication when the related science has advanced so much. My rating here is heavily influenced by the fact that this is an older science book, not any deficiencies in the book itself.
July 9, 2018
Основная мысль одна, книгу бы подсократить раза в 3. Много пересечений с книгой Пинка "Драйв". Мало рекомендаций, как правильно мотивировать без наград и наказаний.
Во многих компаниях система вознаграждения существует как раз для того, чтобы компенсировать недостатки управления: оплата привязана к результатам, а все остальное должно решаться само собой.
Поощрения часто повышают вероятность выполнения нами того, чего от нас ждут. Одновременно, как я постараюсь показать в этой главе и двух последующих, они меняют и то, как именно мы это делаем. Поощрения становятся основной причиной, по которой мы делаем то, чего от нас ждут, и нередко подменяют собой всю прочую мотивацию. Они меняют наше отношение к делу, и это всегда изменение к худшему, по каким бы параметрам мы его ни оценивали.
Если ваша цель – заставить людей соблюдать определенный порядок, например приходить вовремя и делать то, что им скажут, то и награды, и угрозы вам в этом прекрасно помогут. Но если вы стремитесь сохранить высокое качество работы в долгосрочной перспективе, помочь школьникам научиться самостоятельно мыслить и управлять собственным процессом обучения, способствовать формированию у детей правильных ценностей, то и поощрения, и угрозы будут абсолютно бесполезными. И даже не просто бесполезными, а вредными.
Поощрения будут оказывать негативное влияние на результаты работы при соблюдении следующих двух условий: во-первых, когда задача достаточно интересна для исполнителя и поощрение становится избыточной мотивацией, во-вторых, когда у задачи нет очевидного и единственного решения, в силу чего шаги, необходимые для поиска решения, также не очевидны.
Наше восприятие самих себя как компетентных, достойных, способных влиять на происходящие события – что и определяет наше психическое здоровье – оказывается под угрозой, когда внутренняя мотивация подменяется внешней.
Нередко с помощью одобрения мы добиваемся изменения поведения, которое не особенно выгодно тому, кого мы хвалим, но доставляет удовольствие или даже необходимо нам самим. Во-первых, когда человека хвалят за успешное выполнение работы, которая не была особенно сложной, он может воспринять это как намек на то, что он не такой уж способный или талантливый и потому его хвалят за ерунду. Поэтому у него формируются «заниженные ожидания в отношении способности успешно выполнить сложную задачу, и человек начинает работать менее настойчиво и упорно. Во-вторых, если сказать кому-то, что он отлично справляется с работой, он может почувствовать моральное давление, ведь теперь ему нужно соответствовать высокой оценке. Это может привести к большей настороженности, что часто оказывает негативное влияние на качество работы. Похвала формирует нереалистичные ожидания будущих успехов, поэтому человек предпочитает избегать более сложных заданий, чтобы не рисковать и не потерпеть фиаско. А если мы стараемся избегать неудач, есть надежда, что тому, кто нас только что хвалил, и не придется нас критиковать или ругать.
Вероятность того, что ребенок будет положительно реагировать на похвалу или на то, что она будет регулярной, может меняться в зависимости от его прошлого опыта и личностных особенностей. Наилучшим прогностическим фактором будет пол: в целом похвала оказывает более негативное влияние на девочек и женщин, чем на мальчиков и мужчин. Два исследования, проведенные с участием студентов колледжей, показали, что женщины (но не мужчины), которых хвалили за работу, теряли интерес к этой деятельности, в отличие от тех, кого не хвалили.
1. Хвалите не людей, а результаты их деятельности.
2. Формулируйте похвалу как можно более конкретно.
3. Избегайте похвалы, которая порождает конкуренцию.
Наказание не способно научить ребенка, как нельзя поступать, а еще меньше, почему этого делать не следует: чему в действительности учит наказание, так это только желанию избежать его.
Наказание нисколько не способствует возникновению этих разумных опасений, наказание учит только тому, что если тебя поймают на каком-либо запрещенном поступке, то придется расхлебывать последствия. Причина не задирать других – в том, что можно получить сдачи. Причина не грабить банк – в том, что можно угодить в тюрьму. Упор делается на последствия лично для нарушителя. Это низший уровень морального сознания, больше свойственный маленьким детям, и тем не менее мы видим, что в данном случае такими категориями мыслит именно взрослый, наказывающий своего ребенка.
Эдвард Деминг так сформулировал итоги полувекового опыта наблюдения и консультирования организаций: «Оплата не фактор мотивации». Фредерик Герцберг внес поправку в это заявление, напомнив нам, что деньги при всем при этом могут служить демотиватором.
Своеобразное сходство между работой и школой заключается в том, что и там, и там регулярно ставится вопрос, принципиально неверный по своей сути. Дуглас ��акгрегор не зря напоминал нам, что вопрос «Как мотивировать людей?» – совсем не тот, которым следует задаваться руководителям. Не должны об этом спрашивать и преподаватели: дети не нуждаются в том, чтобы их мотивировали. С первых дней они жадно тянутся познавать окружающий мир. Создайте им среду, где они не будут чувствовать себя под контролем, где их поощряют размышлять о том, что они делают (а не о том, насколько хорошо они это делают), и учащиеся любого возраста продемонстрируют недюжинную мотивацию и здоровое желание дерзать.
«отметку можно рассматривать только как некомпетентный отчет о неточном суждении пристрастного и переменчивого в своих оценках судьи о степени, в какой ученик достиг неустановленного уровня освоения неизвестной доли неясного объема материала»
Социальный психолог Мортон Дойч утверждает, что, когда отец обещает дать дочери 10 долларов, если она получит «отлично» за контрольный тест по математике, это сообщение несет несколько мыслей для девочки… о ее собственной мотивации (например, «у меня нет серьезных оснований быть успешной в математике, мне нужен стимул»), о математике («не тот это предмет, чтобы человеку вроде меня было интересно изучать его»), о ее отце («это ему важно, чтобы у меня были хорошие отметки, а интересует ли его, что важно мне самой?») и тому подобные.
Некоторые правила и требования обоснованы и справедливы, некоторые – жестоки и не нужны. А большинство располагаются гдето посередине, и потому нам следует взвешивать, например, желание ребенка исследовать окружающий его мир и вероятность, что он причинит себе вред, или удовольствие ребенка от шумной игры и беготни и право окружающих людей на покой. Хороший ли вы родитель, определяется не тем, какое решение вы принимаете в каждый конкретный момент, а скорее вашей готовностью задумываться об этих решениях в противовес привычке на все отвечать «нет» и требовать бездумного подчинения бессмысленным запретам.
Дети сначала понимают, что не должны обращаться с другими так, как им не хочется, чтобы обращались с ними самими. Но затем, как мы надеемся, они сумеют подняться до понимания более глубоких истин и осознают правоту Бернарда Шоу, предостерегавшего «не поступать с другими так, как ты хотел, чтобы они поступили с тобой, [потому что] у вас могут быть разные вкусы», а также помнить о различии в потребностях, происхождении и мировоззрении.
Если мы всерьез верим в ценность осознания свободы выбора, нам следует переформатировать несколько вопросов. Например, это азбучная истина, что детям нужны границы дозволенного, что они в душе сами желают их и что на самом деле мы оказываем им услугу, когда накладываем запреты, как бы они ни жаловались на это. Пусть правила и порядки существуют, но «критический вопрос», как отмечает Томас Гордон, «не в том, действительно ли границы и правила нужны в семье и школе, а скорее в том, кто устанавливает их: взрослые в одиночку или взрослые и дети вместе?»
Некоторые настаивают, что родители должны выступать единым фронтом, всегда занимая одинаковую позицию перед ребенком. Это правда, что два разительно отличающихся подхода к воспитанию в одной семье неизбежно вызовут проблемы, но есть нечто бездушное и неестественное в попытке отрицать, что мама и папа не всегда одинаково смотрят на вещи. Если конкретнее, то, когда ребенок лишен всякой возможности решать, что ему делать, единство родителей означает на деле союз двоих против одного. Повторюсь: все упирается в свободу выбора.
Во многих компаниях система вознаграждения существует как раз для того, чтобы компенсировать недостатки управления: оплата привязана к результатам, а все остальное должно решаться само собой.
Поощрения часто повышают вероятность выполнения нами того, чего от нас ждут. Одновременно, как я постараюсь показать в этой главе и двух последующих, они меняют и то, как именно мы это делаем. Поощрения становятся основной причиной, по которой мы делаем то, чего от нас ждут, и нередко подменяют собой всю прочую мотивацию. Они меняют наше отношение к делу, и это всегда изменение к худшему, по каким бы параметрам мы его ни оценивали.
Если ваша цель – заставить людей соблюдать определенный порядок, например приходить вовремя и делать то, что им скажут, то и награды, и угрозы вам в этом прекрасно помогут. Но если вы стремитесь сохранить высокое качество работы в долгосрочной перспективе, помочь школьникам научиться самостоятельно мыслить и управлять собственным процессом обучения, способствовать формированию у детей правильных ценностей, то и поощрения, и угрозы будут абсолютно бесполезными. И даже не просто бесполезными, а вредными.
Поощрения будут оказывать негативное влияние на результаты работы при соблюдении следующих двух условий: во-первых, когда задача достаточно интересна для исполнителя и поощрение становится избыточной мотивацией, во-вторых, когда у задачи нет очевидного и единственного решения, в силу чего шаги, необходимые для поиска решения, также не очевидны.
Наше восприятие самих себя как компетентных, достойных, способных влиять на происходящие события – что и определяет наше психическое здоровье – оказывается под угрозой, когда внутренняя мотивация подменяется внешней.
Нередко с помощью одобрения мы добиваемся изменения поведения, которое не особенно выгодно тому, кого мы хвалим, но доставляет удовольствие или даже необходимо нам самим. Во-первых, когда человека хвалят за успешное выполнение работы, которая не была особенно сложной, он может воспринять это как намек на то, что он не такой уж способный или талантливый и потому его хвалят за ерунду. Поэтому у него формируются «заниженные ожидания в отношении способности успешно выполнить сложную задачу, и человек начинает работать менее настойчиво и упорно. Во-вторых, если сказать кому-то, что он отлично справляется с работой, он может почувствовать моральное давление, ведь теперь ему нужно соответствовать высокой оценке. Это может привести к большей настороженности, что часто оказывает негативное влияние на качество работы. Похвала формирует нереалистичные ожидания будущих успехов, поэтому человек предпочитает избегать более сложных заданий, чтобы не рисковать и не потерпеть фиаско. А если мы стараемся избегать неудач, есть надежда, что тому, кто нас только что хвалил, и не придется нас критиковать или ругать.
Вероятность того, что ребенок будет положительно реагировать на похвалу или на то, что она будет регулярной, может меняться в зависимости от его прошлого опыта и личностных особенностей. Наилучшим прогностическим фактором будет пол: в целом похвала оказывает более негативное влияние на девочек и женщин, чем на мальчиков и мужчин. Два исследования, проведенные с участием студентов колледжей, показали, что женщины (но не мужчины), которых хвалили за работу, теряли интерес к этой деятельности, в отличие от тех, кого не хвалили.
1. Хвалите не людей, а результаты их деятельности.
2. Формулируйте похвалу как можно более конкретно.
3. Избегайте похвалы, которая порождает конкуренцию.
Наказание не способно научить ребенка, как нельзя поступать, а еще меньше, почему этого делать не следует: чему в действительности учит наказание, так это только желанию избежать его.
Наказание нисколько не способствует возникновению этих разумных опасений, наказание учит только тому, что если тебя поймают на каком-либо запрещенном поступке, то придется расхлебывать последствия. Причина не задирать других – в том, что можно получить сдачи. Причина не грабить банк – в том, что можно угодить в тюрьму. Упор делается на последствия лично для нарушителя. Это низший уровень морального сознания, больше свойственный маленьким детям, и тем не менее мы видим, что в данном случае такими категориями мыслит именно взрослый, наказывающий своего ребенка.
Эдвард Деминг так сформулировал итоги полувекового опыта наблюдения и консультирования организаций: «Оплата не фактор мотивации». Фредерик Герцберг внес поправку в это заявление, напомнив нам, что деньги при всем при этом могут служить демотиватором.
Своеобразное сходство между работой и школой заключается в том, что и там, и там регулярно ставится вопрос, принципиально неверный по своей сути. Дуглас ��акгрегор не зря напоминал нам, что вопрос «Как мотивировать людей?» – совсем не тот, которым следует задаваться руководителям. Не должны об этом спрашивать и преподаватели: дети не нуждаются в том, чтобы их мотивировали. С первых дней они жадно тянутся познавать окружающий мир. Создайте им среду, где они не будут чувствовать себя под контролем, где их поощряют размышлять о том, что они делают (а не о том, насколько хорошо они это делают), и учащиеся любого возраста продемонстрируют недюжинную мотивацию и здоровое желание дерзать.
«отметку можно рассматривать только как некомпетентный отчет о неточном суждении пристрастного и переменчивого в своих оценках судьи о степени, в какой ученик достиг неустановленного уровня освоения неизвестной доли неясного объема материала»
Социальный психолог Мортон Дойч утверждает, что, когда отец обещает дать дочери 10 долларов, если она получит «отлично» за контрольный тест по математике, это сообщение несет несколько мыслей для девочки… о ее собственной мотивации (например, «у меня нет серьезных оснований быть успешной в математике, мне нужен стимул»), о математике («не тот это предмет, чтобы человеку вроде меня было интересно изучать его»), о ее отце («это ему важно, чтобы у меня были хорошие отметки, а интересует ли его, что важно мне самой?») и тому подобные.
Некоторые правила и требования обоснованы и справедливы, некоторые – жестоки и не нужны. А большинство располагаются гдето посередине, и потому нам следует взвешивать, например, желание ребенка исследовать окружающий его мир и вероятность, что он причинит себе вред, или удовольствие ребенка от шумной игры и беготни и право окружающих людей на покой. Хороший ли вы родитель, определяется не тем, какое решение вы принимаете в каждый конкретный момент, а скорее вашей готовностью задумываться об этих решениях в противовес привычке на все отвечать «нет» и требовать бездумного подчинения бессмысленным запретам.
Дети сначала понимают, что не должны обращаться с другими так, как им не хочется, чтобы обращались с ними самими. Но затем, как мы надеемся, они сумеют подняться до понимания более глубоких истин и осознают правоту Бернарда Шоу, предостерегавшего «не поступать с другими так, как ты хотел, чтобы они поступили с тобой, [потому что] у вас могут быть разные вкусы», а также помнить о различии в потребностях, происхождении и мировоззрении.
Если мы всерьез верим в ценность осознания свободы выбора, нам следует переформатировать несколько вопросов. Например, это азбучная истина, что детям нужны границы дозволенного, что они в душе сами желают их и что на самом деле мы оказываем им услугу, когда накладываем запреты, как бы они ни жаловались на это. Пусть правила и порядки существуют, но «критический вопрос», как отмечает Томас Гордон, «не в том, действительно ли границы и правила нужны в семье и школе, а скорее в том, кто устанавливает их: взрослые в одиночку или взрослые и дети вместе?»
Некоторые настаивают, что родители должны выступать единым фронтом, всегда занимая одинаковую позицию перед ребенком. Это правда, что два разительно отличающихся подхода к воспитанию в одной семье неизбежно вызовут проблемы, но есть нечто бездушное и неестественное в попытке отрицать, что мама и папа не всегда одинаково смотрят на вещи. Если конкретнее, то, когда ребенок лишен всякой возможности решать, что ему делать, единство родителей означает на деле союз двоих против одного. Повторюсь: все упирается в свободу выбора.
August 19, 2021
I never planned to read anything by Alfie Kohn. In my university classes on adolescent development, I just knew him as the "no homework" guy. They showed us a private school where students could do whatever they want, including play video games all day, which was supposedly based on Kohn’s theories.
Well, this book was on sale at a used bookstore, and I am so glad I bought it. I have experienced a huge shift in the way I think about teaching and parenting. I think it will appeal to anyone who likes books on popular sociology & behavior like Freakonomics or Malcolm Gladwell (though, ironically, I think Kohn does not like those types of writers). This book is 300+ pages of academic content,
but the first 3/4 of the book are all on the same theme: that rewards for behavior (which can include praise) do not work. Here are some of the research findings about rewards:
-They kill creativity, causing people to make safer decisions and not take risks
-They promote quantity over quality, as people will do the minimum effort to get maximum output
-They cause people to lose interest in or resent the original task they have to do to get reward, especially once the reward is removed
-They aren't something you can wean someone off of, instead you usually have to increase the bribes to get people to continue complying
-They discourage teamwork and encourage cheating, as outcomes matter more than processes
-They are equivalent to punishments, since there is always a threat of withholding them
-They create a power imbalance, dehumanizing people who may feel controlled like animals
-They make people less likely to ask for help or feedback from those who are in charge of them
-They are subjective, usually unfair, and almost never based on rigorous research
-They ignore the underlying reasons for someone's behavior, and do not teach the real reason a task is being assigned
-They are too simple, ignoring the complex nature of human motivation, and not helpful for any high-level task
In the last three chapters, Kohn makes the positive case for what to do instead of rewards, for businesses, schools, and families. He says that we need to stop asking "how to motivate people" and instead ask "how people are motivated." You could think of this as a shift from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation, though he does have an appendix on why those terms an be misleading.
Kohn uses "three C's" as advice for all leaders:
1. Content - Is what we are asking people to do reasonable? Could we make it more appealing or help people see why it is necessary, rather than just "I told you so" or "it builds character"?
2. Collaboration - Can people work with others to share ideas and come up with solutions to problems? Here he references the work of Piaget, and I think Vygotsky's Sociocultural Theory of Learning would also be helpful.
3. Choice - Are we letting people have as much autonomy as possible? Can we give them real choices so that they don't feel controlled, but take more ownership of the situation?
These questions have made me think a lot about what I can do as a teacher to give my students more freedom and think deeply about the purposes of tasks. As a parent, I've found myself trying to explain more to my kids why I am asking them to do something, and when they are older I will focus on making sure they explain their motivations to me as well.
Now, I do still wonder about some things. Kohn says that "natural consequences" are sometimes a euphemism for unnatural punishments. But we do need teach our kids consequences for actions. Likewise, he is very critical of praise. I can see that it can be manipulative or disingenuous, but we do need to give some feedback to help children know what good behavior and effective work look like. Even he admits that as a parent, these distinctions can be hard, and he says what matters most is that we are thoughtful.
On the other hand, when it comes to teaching, he doesn't seem to like gradual progress, with things like Standards Based Grading, which are meant to be more thoughtful than traditional grades. He is dismissive of these efforts, but I think he needs to show what a system based on his theories would look like, otherwise people will assume he is advocating for the structureless schools I referenced at the beginning
And, even if I am not 100% on his side on everything, I do agree that Behaviorism is evil. Its founder, B.F. Skinner, treats people like animals, and does not believe in free will, which is totally contrary to everything I have been taught in my religion. So, I like how Kohn has made me think, and I'll have to read his other books on teaching and parenting and see if I agree with his proposals.
Well, this book was on sale at a used bookstore, and I am so glad I bought it. I have experienced a huge shift in the way I think about teaching and parenting. I think it will appeal to anyone who likes books on popular sociology & behavior like Freakonomics or Malcolm Gladwell (though, ironically, I think Kohn does not like those types of writers). This book is 300+ pages of academic content,
but the first 3/4 of the book are all on the same theme: that rewards for behavior (which can include praise) do not work. Here are some of the research findings about rewards:
-They kill creativity, causing people to make safer decisions and not take risks
-They promote quantity over quality, as people will do the minimum effort to get maximum output
-They cause people to lose interest in or resent the original task they have to do to get reward, especially once the reward is removed
-They aren't something you can wean someone off of, instead you usually have to increase the bribes to get people to continue complying
-They discourage teamwork and encourage cheating, as outcomes matter more than processes
-They are equivalent to punishments, since there is always a threat of withholding them
-They create a power imbalance, dehumanizing people who may feel controlled like animals
-They make people less likely to ask for help or feedback from those who are in charge of them
-They are subjective, usually unfair, and almost never based on rigorous research
-They ignore the underlying reasons for someone's behavior, and do not teach the real reason a task is being assigned
-They are too simple, ignoring the complex nature of human motivation, and not helpful for any high-level task
In the last three chapters, Kohn makes the positive case for what to do instead of rewards, for businesses, schools, and families. He says that we need to stop asking "how to motivate people" and instead ask "how people are motivated." You could think of this as a shift from extrinsic to intrinsic motivation, though he does have an appendix on why those terms an be misleading.
Kohn uses "three C's" as advice for all leaders:
1. Content - Is what we are asking people to do reasonable? Could we make it more appealing or help people see why it is necessary, rather than just "I told you so" or "it builds character"?
2. Collaboration - Can people work with others to share ideas and come up with solutions to problems? Here he references the work of Piaget, and I think Vygotsky's Sociocultural Theory of Learning would also be helpful.
3. Choice - Are we letting people have as much autonomy as possible? Can we give them real choices so that they don't feel controlled, but take more ownership of the situation?
These questions have made me think a lot about what I can do as a teacher to give my students more freedom and think deeply about the purposes of tasks. As a parent, I've found myself trying to explain more to my kids why I am asking them to do something, and when they are older I will focus on making sure they explain their motivations to me as well.
Now, I do still wonder about some things. Kohn says that "natural consequences" are sometimes a euphemism for unnatural punishments. But we do need teach our kids consequences for actions. Likewise, he is very critical of praise. I can see that it can be manipulative or disingenuous, but we do need to give some feedback to help children know what good behavior and effective work look like. Even he admits that as a parent, these distinctions can be hard, and he says what matters most is that we are thoughtful.
On the other hand, when it comes to teaching, he doesn't seem to like gradual progress, with things like Standards Based Grading, which are meant to be more thoughtful than traditional grades. He is dismissive of these efforts, but I think he needs to show what a system based on his theories would look like, otherwise people will assume he is advocating for the structureless schools I referenced at the beginning
And, even if I am not 100% on his side on everything, I do agree that Behaviorism is evil. Its founder, B.F. Skinner, treats people like animals, and does not believe in free will, which is totally contrary to everything I have been taught in my religion. So, I like how Kohn has made me think, and I'll have to read his other books on teaching and parenting and see if I agree with his proposals.
March 9, 2022
Life-changing information. Really! At least to me that had no idea about this kind of behavioral studies and ... people in general.
I think this book should be recommended to every school director, HR department, and parent. It offers so much useful information for taking into consideration. It offers just some tips and guidelines that are not easy to apply in life.
The only critique I had is that it was somewhat repetitive in the second half.
I think this book should be recommended to every school director, HR department, and parent. It offers so much useful information for taking into consideration. It offers just some tips and guidelines that are not easy to apply in life.
The only critique I had is that it was somewhat repetitive in the second half.
August 29, 2010
A great book. The book is written for two audiences, educators and business professionals. I only had to read the sections that pertained to education, but after reading them, I am curious to know if the business world is like the education world. I will not praise Alfie for writing a well informed book, but simply acknowledge that it is. Teaching second grade, I can already see in 7yr olds how praise, rewards, and other behavior manipulators have altered there perspective of life. The "whats in it for me" mentality is a hard thing to break and to motivate students in the importance of actual learning instead of the main focus to get straight A's is equally difficult because so many parents are demanding just that. Alfie explains that we are training kids to grow up and be selfish and that the only reason to do something is to get something physical in return, because the act of doing a good deed because it might bring on a good feeling to oneself is a waste of time. I highly recommend this book to every educator in schools, day cares, churches, and parents.
April 10, 2009
It has been a while since I read Alfie Kohn's book. I heard him speak at a teachers' convention and was intrigued by his assertion that teachers and parents kill children's motivation by offering rewards/bribes. So, candy, stickers, certificates, cash and other incentives really don't motivate! It went along with my casual observation that students to whom I sent commendations soon lost their commendabe behaviors, and it went along with a university class I took in the 80's about motivational theory. The idea is that providing rewards soon extinguishes a person's intrinsic motivation to learn or accomplish a task. I've seen criticisms that suggest Kohn's book is simplistic, but I think it is worth reading and considering.
March 19, 2013
A must read for parents, teachers, bosses. A little alarming, and left me wondering what to do in lieu of all the praises and rewards (although Mindset, as I recall, does offer both solutions and food for thought on how to just give useful feedback, and what that is). Well-researched, articulate; those who disagree would need to provide a lot of evidence to dispute the many findings that support the cautions in this book. And an afterward talks specifically about Accelerated Reader, something I'd been trying find in the years I was trying to help principals defend their choice not to have it on their campuses.
February 23, 2018
If you are a teacher, parent or a manager, please read this book before it's too late.
If you've read such books as Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck or Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink, then you'll find many familiar ideas and statements in this book, which will make you want to skip certain parts of it.
If you've read such books as Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck or Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink, then you'll find many familiar ideas and statements in this book, which will make you want to skip certain parts of it.
September 25, 2019
+ lots and lots conclusive research on the negative effects of rewards and praise
+ not limited to the workplace, but also patenting and school
+ connects nicely with the works of Frederick Herzberg (2-Factor theory), Daniel Pink (Autonomy, Mastery & Pupose), David Rock (SCARF) and other newer management books, such as Jurgen Appelos (Mgmt 3.0, Mgmt Workout). Maybe even Spiral Dynamics (Laloux)
- definitely could be shorter
- for someone who has read or knows about the somewhat connected works above, the section about alternatives won't bring a lot new insights
+ not limited to the workplace, but also patenting and school
+ connects nicely with the works of Frederick Herzberg (2-Factor theory), Daniel Pink (Autonomy, Mastery & Pupose), David Rock (SCARF) and other newer management books, such as Jurgen Appelos (Mgmt 3.0, Mgmt Workout). Maybe even Spiral Dynamics (Laloux)
- definitely could be shorter
- for someone who has read or knows about the somewhat connected works above, the section about alternatives won't bring a lot new insights
August 12, 2018
Super interesting book! The viewpoints presented are not very compatible with much of what I believed before reading it, so there were quite some revelations in there.
One or two things put me off a little - for example the author's #1 goal in childraising seems to be to make the child caring and altruistic. For me, that's more of an afterthought, so I would've preferred a focus on other things. Still, the same principles apply for all other values, so I don't mind it too much.
One or two things put me off a little - for example the author's #1 goal in childraising seems to be to make the child caring and altruistic. For me, that's more of an afterthought, so I would've preferred a focus on other things. Still, the same principles apply for all other values, so I don't mind it too much.
March 24, 2017
Every teacher should read this book--if this doesn't change your perspective on classroom management, you might want to seek an alternate line of work.
July 29, 2017
This is a hard pill to swallow for people who have been using positive reinforcement since the beginning of time, but it is a pill that we must swallow if we hope to improve education at all.
August 5, 2017
but u knew
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