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If You Did What I Asked in the First Place
In this collection of unflinching, unapologetic, and funny oh-so-real life stories, Lori B. Duff bares the creaky, embarrassing parts of our high school cafeteria-scarred souls for us, leaving us no choice but to laugh at our failures, no matter how spectacular, and rejoice in our successes, no matter how itty-bitty. She shows women that each one of us is a wonder in our own way, with the ability — whether we know it or not — to make the best of life’s often absurd situations. Reading If You Did What I Asked In the First Place is like sitting down with a good friend who helps you make it through the day. Pour yourself a glass of whatever makes you feel better and take off any constricting undergarments: Let loose with the knowledge that you are not alone. You have Lori at your side.
- GenresHumorNonfiction
222 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 15, 2019
334 people are currently reading
166 people want to read
About the author
Lori B. Duff
10 books58 followersLori Duff is a two-time winner of the Georgia Bar Journal's fiction competition and a popular humor Blogger. Her humorous essays have won multiple awards, including the Foreword Indies Gold Medal for humor, and first place in the National Society for Newspaper Columnists in the humor category. She also writes fiction. Her novella, Broken Things, won the Georgia Independent Author of the Year Award for Literary Fiction. Her novel, Devil's Defense, the first in the Fischer at Law Series, won the GIAYA award for Legal Thrillers, and is a finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards. Devil's Hand, the next in the series, is forthcoming in October 2025 from She Writes Press.
By day, she is the managing law partner of Jones & Duff, LLC and wages war for a living. She prefers making people laugh.
Lori is married to her husband of 26 years, Mike, and together they have two grown children and a rescue dog.
By day, she is the managing law partner of Jones & Duff, LLC and wages war for a living. She prefers making people laugh.
Lori is married to her husband of 26 years, Mike, and together they have two grown children and a rescue dog.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
November 24, 2019
The best way to say what I think about this book is to tell you a very short, very true story:
My husband and I, awake way too early this morning, were listening to someone playing fantastic piano on all-night-music radio. My husband said, "How does he DO that? He's changing ten lines of little marks running across a page into all that sound! It's like he's translating another language!"
Wow, I thought. I was talking with somebody about that exact same thing a couple of days ago. I wracked my brain, trying to remember who it was. I knew I didn't read it – the friend I was talking with said it, or something like it. In my mind's ear, I could hear her voice saying it… Who could it have been? Finally, I remembered. The woman I was "talking with" was Lori – Lori B. Duff, whom I've never met, whose voice I wouldn't recognize if she called me on the phone.
So I did read it, after all. It's just that reading this book was, to me, like talking with a friend. Someone smart, funny, down-to-earth, honest. Kind, although not above being a little bit snarky now and then. We were sitting at a kitchen table, eating too many chocolate chip cookies, made by elves, straight from the box. A couple of times I confess I snorted coffee out my nose.
We didn't have time to run out of talk – she's a busy woman, and so am I. But I came away with a lot of things to think about.
My husband and I, awake way too early this morning, were listening to someone playing fantastic piano on all-night-music radio. My husband said, "How does he DO that? He's changing ten lines of little marks running across a page into all that sound! It's like he's translating another language!"
Wow, I thought. I was talking with somebody about that exact same thing a couple of days ago. I wracked my brain, trying to remember who it was. I knew I didn't read it – the friend I was talking with said it, or something like it. In my mind's ear, I could hear her voice saying it… Who could it have been? Finally, I remembered. The woman I was "talking with" was Lori – Lori B. Duff, whom I've never met, whose voice I wouldn't recognize if she called me on the phone.
So I did read it, after all. It's just that reading this book was, to me, like talking with a friend. Someone smart, funny, down-to-earth, honest. Kind, although not above being a little bit snarky now and then. We were sitting at a kitchen table, eating too many chocolate chip cookies, made by elves, straight from the box. A couple of times I confess I snorted coffee out my nose.
We didn't have time to run out of talk – she's a busy woman, and so am I. But I came away with a lot of things to think about.
July 28, 2020
Nothing revolutionary or even particularly original in this collection of essays (some of it is downright trite- a chapter about women needing pockets in clothes...sigh), but its still a fun read. Lori Duff is a good writer, and her conversational style is easy and fun to read. Reading the book is much like reading someone's blog a decade ago (I suspect these are all online in blog form somewhere, but I don't actually read blogs much anymore and I wasn't moved to look it up), which I am ok with as a style. I wish I could come up with more nice things to say, as I did actually like the book, but I finished it a couple days ago and I'm coming up short on remembering specifics, so I'll say I suspect the author is a cool lady with whom I'd have fun having a glass of wine or two on a mom's night out or a boring work conference. For a kindle sale book, it was better than I expected. Three stars.
July 26, 2020
Delightful comedy and daily drama of an American mom
Everyone would fall in love with Lori B. Duff right from the get go. Reading her books are like reading Erma Bombeck but with matzo ball soup, music and a doctorate of J.P. to really spice things up. She shares delightful stories of her family and friends in such sweet ways, it's almost like sitting down to coffee with your favorite girlfriend and catching up on the latest news. Buy her books, it will give you a smile and a warm feeling you may have been missing for awhile.
Everyone would fall in love with Lori B. Duff right from the get go. Reading her books are like reading Erma Bombeck but with matzo ball soup, music and a doctorate of J.P. to really spice things up. She shares delightful stories of her family and friends in such sweet ways, it's almost like sitting down to coffee with your favorite girlfriend and catching up on the latest news. Buy her books, it will give you a smile and a warm feeling you may have been missing for awhile.
February 8, 2022
Refreshing + Whimsical + Jelastic + Real!
How did the book make me feel/think?
Hello, I’m Jenny Lawson.
Pleased to meet you, Jenny. I’m Amy Schumer.
Hey, Jenny + Amy, I’m Melissa McCarthy. Do you want to go grab a drink and jam about life?
Wait for me, I’m B. J. Novak. Hey, what am I doing here?
Jenny + Amy + Melissa, + B.J. walks into a bar. They slam back several martinis and shots + rap about the absurdity that is life. It’s time to go. Out walks Lori B. Duff. She’s fresh. Tipsy. Slightly less dysfunctional than the four dazzlingly eclectic comedic minds that walked in (minds are incapable of walking). She belongs.
“If You Did What I Asked in the First Place” will have your insides in stitches as Lori B. Duff takes you on a highly intoxicating, hilarious journey through the madness of what being a reformed lawyer might entail.
Refreshing + Whimsical + Gelastic + Real!
“If You Did…” is chock-full of pop culture references. If you are not paying attention, they might skirt past you—pay attention—if you do, you will be rewarded with a wispy bombardment of comedic twists and turns that will leave you wanting more.
I pause and plop myself down by the Christmas tree and tear the wrapping off one of my presents—wow—a Red Ryder BB gun!
Who doesn’t hate small talk?
I agree with Lori’s father, “When you are born, you are only allowed so many words—” — so I’ll stop typing soon. I used—so—twice in the same sentence, shameful.
Lori forgot her handbag and stumbled back into the bar. Jenny + Amy + Melissa + B.J. all rise, greeting her with a round of applause, and they dive back into rapping without missing a beat!
Flip the page, and I guarantee you’ll relate, and without question: cackling, with what you are about to ingest!
When some people go to the store, they just go to the store. When Lori goes to the store, Lori goes with eyes wide open; she may trip and leave herself with an unsightly gash; she takes in the living’s silliness and thankfully shares what she sees. With us!
I read a whack of books, “If You Did…” is definitively one of the most enjoyable books I’ve read!
How did the book make me feel/think?
Hello, I’m Jenny Lawson.
Pleased to meet you, Jenny. I’m Amy Schumer.
Hey, Jenny + Amy, I’m Melissa McCarthy. Do you want to go grab a drink and jam about life?
Wait for me, I’m B. J. Novak. Hey, what am I doing here?
Jenny + Amy + Melissa, + B.J. walks into a bar. They slam back several martinis and shots + rap about the absurdity that is life. It’s time to go. Out walks Lori B. Duff. She’s fresh. Tipsy. Slightly less dysfunctional than the four dazzlingly eclectic comedic minds that walked in (minds are incapable of walking). She belongs.
“If You Did What I Asked in the First Place” will have your insides in stitches as Lori B. Duff takes you on a highly intoxicating, hilarious journey through the madness of what being a reformed lawyer might entail.
Refreshing + Whimsical + Gelastic + Real!
“If You Did…” is chock-full of pop culture references. If you are not paying attention, they might skirt past you—pay attention—if you do, you will be rewarded with a wispy bombardment of comedic twists and turns that will leave you wanting more.
I pause and plop myself down by the Christmas tree and tear the wrapping off one of my presents—wow—a Red Ryder BB gun!
Who doesn’t hate small talk?
I agree with Lori’s father, “When you are born, you are only allowed so many words—” — so I’ll stop typing soon. I used—so—twice in the same sentence, shameful.
Lori forgot her handbag and stumbled back into the bar. Jenny + Amy + Melissa + B.J. all rise, greeting her with a round of applause, and they dive back into rapping without missing a beat!
Flip the page, and I guarantee you’ll relate, and without question: cackling, with what you are about to ingest!
When some people go to the store, they just go to the store. When Lori goes to the store, Lori goes with eyes wide open; she may trip and leave herself with an unsightly gash; she takes in the living’s silliness and thankfully shares what she sees. With us!
I read a whack of books, “If You Did…” is definitively one of the most enjoyable books I’ve read!
February 1, 2021
What a gem
I read this in one sitting because I just enjoyed it so much. I think Lori’s sense of humour is fantastic. (I wasn’t aware lawyers had a sense of humour!) It had laugh-out-loud moments that I recited to my husband because they were so amazingly fitting. I just got the bland look that means my husband has never been a wife and mother!!
Lori I love your outlook on life. Keep writing!
PS I’m tempted to send you photos of my bookshelves and book piles 🥴
I read this in one sitting because I just enjoyed it so much. I think Lori’s sense of humour is fantastic. (I wasn’t aware lawyers had a sense of humour!) It had laugh-out-loud moments that I recited to my husband because they were so amazingly fitting. I just got the bland look that means my husband has never been a wife and mother!!
Lori I love your outlook on life. Keep writing!
PS I’m tempted to send you photos of my bookshelves and book piles 🥴
March 4, 2021
I feel like I need to meet and be besties with this author. Other than she’s a little older and has a more professional job, and I’m not Jewish, I think we are the same person. I even showed a few things she said to my 13 year old to prove I’m not the only mom who says or does those things. I plan to use a few chapters for mentor texts with my Creative Writing students.
November 3, 2021
Good Hearty Laughs
Funny. Many of Lori's one liners hit home. Sometimes bringing thoughts of childhood happenings and sometimes blunders that I have committed. All in all, thoroughly entertaining.
Funny. Many of Lori's one liners hit home. Sometimes bringing thoughts of childhood happenings and sometimes blunders that I have committed. All in all, thoroughly entertaining.
February 23, 2023
My favorite book in ages! I would have read it in one sitting if I didn't have to get up for work.
A lawyer in Georgia writing short essays (1-3 pages) on various topics: her life as a lawyer, a mom of 2 teenagers, books, her health issues, food, etc.
Humorous!!
A lawyer in Georgia writing short essays (1-3 pages) on various topics: her life as a lawyer, a mom of 2 teenagers, books, her health issues, food, etc.
Humorous!!
February 16, 2021
Lori's humor is spot on. Hilarious.
March 21, 2021
Hilarious!
July 9, 2022
Enjoyable Read
This book introduced me to a new author and I can say I enjoyed the quick read. It was definitely a book that as a mom I could relate to.
This book introduced me to a new author and I can say I enjoyed the quick read. It was definitely a book that as a mom I could relate to.
July 28, 2020
Emulating Erma
Erma was a highly respected, gentle comedic writer who shared antecdotes about life. Her style feels almost quaint in today's madcap, fart jokes and foul language society.
The author references her several times through the text - Erma's a classic, and a lofty person to aspire to. The writing here is honest, good natured though self-deprecating, and sometimes uneven.
For examples, we have the 'what did I just read' things like this:
"And more bathroom ranting: why should I EVER, in a public restroom, go in to a stall and see the fruits of someone else’s labors. Flush. It. Down. If it won’t flush, tell an employee. Yuck yuck and more yuck. (And pee-yew.)"
And, in the other side, thoughtful bits like this:
"I think this a problem for introverts everywhere. For us, other humans are like energy rods, sucking the energy in the room into their own orbits, to be used for their own purposes. Completely messing up the scientific metaphor here (bite me, literalists, even though I am one, usually) it is only when we are alone that our weak magnetic pull can draw the energy into ourselves enough for us to become productive."
While not a bad read, it passes time in a lightly amused - though not laugh out loud - fairly forgettable fashion.
Erma was a highly respected, gentle comedic writer who shared antecdotes about life. Her style feels almost quaint in today's madcap, fart jokes and foul language society.
The author references her several times through the text - Erma's a classic, and a lofty person to aspire to. The writing here is honest, good natured though self-deprecating, and sometimes uneven.
For examples, we have the 'what did I just read' things like this:
"And more bathroom ranting: why should I EVER, in a public restroom, go in to a stall and see the fruits of someone else’s labors. Flush. It. Down. If it won’t flush, tell an employee. Yuck yuck and more yuck. (And pee-yew.)"
And, in the other side, thoughtful bits like this:
"I think this a problem for introverts everywhere. For us, other humans are like energy rods, sucking the energy in the room into their own orbits, to be used for their own purposes. Completely messing up the scientific metaphor here (bite me, literalists, even though I am one, usually) it is only when we are alone that our weak magnetic pull can draw the energy into ourselves enough for us to become productive."
While not a bad read, it passes time in a lightly amused - though not laugh out loud - fairly forgettable fashion.
July 6, 2020
I got this book on my kindle as a free offer from book bub. The title and description drew me in, but then as I was reading it became very apparent I was reading a book written by a very amateur and immature author. The stories were boring, and it was obvious very little thought was put into the book and that the author purposely created things to “write” about. She even admitted to it. The relentless plugs for books was also very annoying. I feel like this author would do well with a blog, as there was a little humor in a few of her stories, but as a whole book i really feel that it fell very short. I am happy I didn’t pay for this book.
July 23, 2020
Estava pesquisando alguma coisa na loja do Kindle e esse livro apareceu. Só me lembro de olhar a capa e pensar "nossa, nada a ver com a minha busca". Mas daí aconteceu aquilo do livro falar comigo... e eu não resisti. Tinha certeza de que não gostaria. Geralmente, não leio livros de humor, além da capa não ser uma das minhas favoritas. Porém, me surpreendi. Há várias crônicas engraçadas (ou, pelo menos, divertidas) escritas por Lori. A autora possui um nível de sinceridade admirável, enquanto narra sua vida e os diversos papéis que assume.
November 9, 2020
This book was a fun read. Lori Duff tells stories of her family life; and her life is funny. Have you ever met someone that seems to constantly be in some kind of predicament? When they tell you what happened to them yesterday you end up laughing? That’s Lori. Like Seinfeld she looks at life with a sense of humor. This is a book you can drop and pick up anytime for a quick chapter read as each chapter is about a different subject. Oh ...and Lori says to please buy her books. She has a long wish list ;)
July 17, 2020
Sometimes laugh out loud funny, other times silent chuckles but Lori Duff resonates with most women who try to be supermoms but fail because they are only too human. Whether chaperoning the band trip or baking brownies for the school bake sale, there is only so much a woman who tries to be a full-time mom while working full time can do. Accepting that the cogs don't always run smoothly is an important learning experience for all would-be perfectionists.
June 28, 2020
Lori made me laugh by myself out loud. She distracted me from the corovirus and best of all she made me forget that Donald Trump
Is our president who is such an ignorant child and so jealous of Barack Obama that he has undone every good thing he has done. I can't wait to read another book by Lori Duff. She will help me maintain my Sanity until Trump is gone!
Is our president who is such an ignorant child and so jealous of Barack Obama that he has undone every good thing he has done. I can't wait to read another book by Lori Duff. She will help me maintain my Sanity until Trump is gone!
June 29, 2020
Please be warned in advance that while reading this book you should be with people who: 1- will know you aren't crying, just laughing so hard you are tearing up and 2- will be delighted when you repeatedly laugh-snort while they are sitting near you as you are reading. Otherwise, kick everyone out of the room, curl up on your favorite soft surface and enjoy this total delight on your own.
September 9, 2020
A collection of fun little essays
Any mother can relate to Lori Duff’s observations on raising children and being a family. She writes in a breezy, humorous way, making fun of herself. The book is easy to pick up and read a little at a time. The chapters are short and stand alone, thus a collection of essays.
Any mother can relate to Lori Duff’s observations on raising children and being a family. She writes in a breezy, humorous way, making fun of herself. The book is easy to pick up and read a little at a time. The chapters are short and stand alone, thus a collection of essays.
June 24, 2020
Enjoyed her wit
Banter for banter's sake. Sold "as is"; no false promises. I could relate. Grinned out loud a few times...but not hard enough to wet my pants..except when she mentioned she was wearing a ten year old nursing bra
Banter for banter's sake. Sold "as is"; no false promises. I could relate. Grinned out loud a few times...but not hard enough to wet my pants..except when she mentioned she was wearing a ten year old nursing bra
June 28, 2020
It’s only funny, because it’s true!
Nice to read about another mom with some of the same problems. Also, great that she can laugh At herself. Loved the Shrek speech for her daughter.
Nice to read about another mom with some of the same problems. Also, great that she can laugh At herself. Loved the Shrek speech for her daughter.
July 7, 2020
A real life story
As you read this book you will relate it to things in your life or someone else that you remembered having happened to them. Very good humor makes enjoyable reading
As you read this book you will relate it to things in your life or someone else that you remembered having happened to them. Very good humor makes enjoyable reading
July 14, 2020
Absolutely enjoyable!
The author's view on daily life is a very memorable perspective of wry humour! Chuckling, mumbling hmmm?, and laughing out loud will happen intermittently as you go through some normal/crazy times. Best book I enjoyed in a long time.
The author's view on daily life is a very memorable perspective of wry humour! Chuckling, mumbling hmmm?, and laughing out loud will happen intermittently as you go through some normal/crazy times. Best book I enjoyed in a long time.
July 27, 2020
Enjoyed it
Funny, witty, and whimsical mixed with wisdom. A good easy read, let's call it mind candy with a nugget of something serious in each chapter when you are in the mood to hear it - like a chocolate chip cookie.
Funny, witty, and whimsical mixed with wisdom. A good easy read, let's call it mind candy with a nugget of something serious in each chapter when you are in the mood to hear it - like a chocolate chip cookie.
August 24, 2020
Accurate
She writes exactly what most working moms are thinking. I laughed more than i have in a while. Looking forward to reading more from this author. It was like talking with a girlfriend.
She writes exactly what most working moms are thinking. I laughed more than i have in a while. Looking forward to reading more from this author. It was like talking with a girlfriend.
September 10, 2020
Probably better if you understand the American parents experience
Didn't finish the book dispite some interesting stories on the whole it just was not 100% relatable to this British mother.
Didn't finish the book dispite some interesting stories on the whole it just was not 100% relatable to this British mother.
December 10, 2020
Like most humor writing, the funniest stuff is in the beginning. Then it either gets preachy, sad, or just plain boring. Sorry. This one got preachy and boring and just didn't live up to the hype for me.
July 12, 2020
Loved it! This is a funny, relaxing read. I laughed out loud several times. I wouldn't mind reading it again, and I would heartily recommend it for others to read.
July 14, 2020
Funny, and honest
Little episodes that gave me a lot of chuckles. If you're human you'll enjoy this book. Hopefully if you're not human, you know it.
Little episodes that gave me a lot of chuckles. If you're human you'll enjoy this book. Hopefully if you're not human, you know it.
July 16, 2020
A nice easy read and if you are a parent, lots of the observations will ring true.
Made up of very short chapters makes it easy to dip into whenever you feel like a 5 minute read.
Made up of very short chapters makes it easy to dip into whenever you feel like a 5 minute read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews