Disciplines of a Godly Man

by R. Kent Hughes

No man will get anywhere in life without discipline—and growth in godliness is no exception. Seasoned pastor R. Kent Hughes's inspiring and best-selling book Disciplines of a Godly Man—now updated with fresh content—is filled with godly advice aimed at helping men grow in the disciplines of prayer, integrity, marriage, leadership, worship, purity, and more. With biblical wisdom, memorable illustrations, and engaging study questions, this practical guide will empower men to take seriously the call to godliness and direct their energy toward the things that matter most.

Genres: Christian, Christian Living, Theology, Christianity, Nonfiction, Faith, Discipleship

336 pages, Hardcover

First published June 30, 1991

About the author

R. Kent Hughes (DMin, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School) is senior pastor emeritus of College Church in Wheaton, Illinois, and a visiting professor of practical theology at Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Hughes is also a founder of the Charles Simeon Trust, which conducts expository preaching conferences throughout North America and worldwide. He and his wife, Barbara, have four children and an ever-increasing number of grandchildren.

Reviews

[Gabe Bruner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Man, I am glad that I read Deeper by Dane Ortlund in tandem with this book. Hughes definitely has an expansive heart for men in the American church and rightly assesses that the disciplines are some of the primary means by which men can actually start to develop a real spiritual fervor in their lives. This book is rich with resources for further reading and a lot of great practical tips for the disciplines. So, why give it more of an average rating? Because I think Hughes misses the mark in appropriating the spiritual disciplines within the context of God’s grace to His people in Christ. To be fair, he spends the last 6 pages or so speaking on the disciplines in the context of grace and warning against legalism. But through a vast majority of the writing it comes across as though he is making a long spiritual to-do list that causes more burden than freedom, which is what the disciplines are really for. I think this is a serviceable introduction to the disciplines but readers should approach it with the Gospel firmly in their heart and mind.

[John Boyne · Rating 5 out of 5]

R. Kent Hughes' book, Disciplines of a Godly Man, should be required reading for men of all ages and one that is picked up again and reread every few years. Hughes does an excellent job of breaking down the various types of discipline that are severally lacking in masculinity today and provides simple steps to practice to improve yourself and make yourself a more Christ honoring man. Highly recommended!

[Bill Forgeard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rigorous and relentless! A helpful challenge for me to live up the biblical commands for Christian men across the whole of life. A good mix of cultural commentary, biblical exposition and practical wisdom. At times I wished Mr R. Kent Hughes had mixed a little more gospel encouragement in amidst the brutal exhortations.

[Forrest Cole]

Very good read.

[Theophilus Firtandi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must-read for all Christian males. It spurred me and slapped me across the face unexpectedly and boldly.

Hughes reminded me that we have a good Father that disciplines us and this father happens to be God! Grace on grace on grace - thank you God.

Shoutout to my men's small group - iron sharpening iron is joyful.

[Zach Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book stabbed me in the front in the best way. Practical, powerful, wonderful.

[Mitchell Dixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best part is the personal reading survey done of major pastors/theologians. This book is good but I think where it excels is as a reference guide for further reading.

[Josiah Luebcke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chapters to go back and read

Chapter 2 Discipline of Purity
Chapter 6 Discipline of Mind
Chapter 7 Discipline of Devotion
Chapter 11 Discipline of Tongue
Chapter 15 Discipline of Leadership
Chapter 16 Discipline of Giving
Chapter 19 Grace of Discipline

[Daniel Ligon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! Bible-saturated and comprehensive. Challenging yet grace-filled. This is a resource I plan to recommend often.

[Chandler Tuckerman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hughes' candid imperitives are needed despite the fact that today directives are generally avoided or nuanced for the sake of "not being legalistic". This is a non sequitur. Hughes draws all of his instruction for men from clear passages of scripture, making this book both convicting and inspiring.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Update: When I originally read this book, it was a book I thought would be beneficial to re-read every 2 years. Well, it's taken me over 4 to come back to it, but it once again was a great challenge, full of practical insight, and covering a broad range of life. About 2/3rd of the way through, it was hard to keep going - perhaps because it offers so much to work on that it feels a bit overwhelming. But, reading it regularly and taking a few things at a time to work on I think is very much merited and beneficial.

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Original Review: Feb 24, 2012

There are some books on what it means to be a Christian man that feel more like they are fueled by popular movies and books (such books shall remain unnamed. :-) Hughes' call to men is something entirely different. He takes both the essential aspects of what it means to follow God (prayer, Scripture, etc.) and also takes the practical calls of our lives (fatherhood, relationships, thinking) and in both bases the call to discipline (or "holy sweat" - it's not discipline if you're not sweating as you work to develop it in your live) in God's words in Scripture and then practically applies it to live, giving challenging, yet appropriate, ways of developing these key disciplines in our lives as we seek to love God and those he has put us in relationship with here on earth. I really enjoyed Hughes' blend of Scripture, practical, personal examples and literature, poetry and other stories from the culture around us.

In one of the Amazon reviews of this book, a reviewer mentions that he comes back to the book every year as a "check up". I don't know if I'll return to it every year, but I do know it's one I expect to return to frequently over the course of my life - and one I see myself sharing with other guys and using as a starting place in bible studies and mentoring.

[Jack McBride · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid read. Probably best used as a good topical reference of spiritual disciplines for men to cultivate, instead of reading it cover to cover, but could be a good book for a men's discipleship group to work through over a semester or so.

However, I think every Christian man needs to read ch. 14 on the Discipline of Church. That chapter alone is worth the price of admission.

"Church attendance is infected with the malaise of conditional loyalty which has produced an army of ecclesiastical hitchhikers...this putative loyalty is fueled by a consumer ethos, a 'McChristian' mentality which picks and chooses here and there to fill one's ecclesiastical shopping list...we have a phenomenom unthinkable in any other century: churchless Christians. There is a vast herd of professed Christians who exist as nomadic hitchhikers without accountability, without discipline, without discipleship, living apart from the regular benefits of the ordinances... membership in an invisible church without participation in its local expression is never contemplated in the New Testament. Another reason for the de-churching of many Christians is the historic individualism of evangelical Christianity and the grass-roots American impulse against authority. The natural inclination is to think one needs only an individual relationship with Christ and needs no other authority. Such thinking produces Christian lone rangers who demonstrate their authenticity by riding not to church, but out to the Badlands, reference Bible in hand, to do battle single-handedly with the outlaw world. Such a cavalier disregard for the doctrine of the church is eccentric to say the least; it disregards not only Scripture, but the concensus of the doctors of the church."

[William Cheung · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hughes writes this book to encourage the young men in today's generation to be spiritually disciplined. He goes through a list of disciplines and provides practical steps to grow in them. I feel like I've gained a good biblical understanding of different issues. I like how he also gives you questions for self-reflection and extra resources to dig deeper into the topic. My personal favourites are purity, fatherhood, mind, prayer, tongue, and ministry.

fatherhood
"parents often take too much blame for their children's problems and too much credit when they turn out well. I realize that my children are what they are by the grace of God."

mind
“you can never have a Christian mind without reading or listening to the Scripture regularly because you cannot be profoundly influenced by that which you do not know.”

prayer
“Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints" (Ephesians 6:18).

tongue
"the tongue will inevitably reveal what is on the inside. This is especially true under stress, when the tongue is compulsively revealing."

ministry
"enlarge your heart, cultivate your heart, discipline yourself for ministry, and you will enlarge your experience of pain. This is an irrefragable spiritual axiom. No one has ever cultivated a ministering heart and lived to tell of a life of ease."

[Alex Y. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hebrews 12:1–2, 7–11
[1] Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, [2] looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

[7] It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? [8] If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. [9] Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? [10] For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. [11] For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (ESV)

Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes attempts to expound upon the biblical concept of discipline by focusing on a variety of areas where discipline is needed. Overall, the book aims to galvanize men from slothfulness/apathy into active improvement. I think it mostly achieves that purpose, though it has some shortfalls. Hughes calls out legalism in the introduction and the conclusion, but his language throughout the rest of the book could sometimes be discouraging rather than encouraging to certain readers, especially if they are already struggling with the wrong idea of "not being a good enough Christian." Also, sometimes the Bible passages Hughes cites to make his points in the chapters are either not the right passage to make that point (even though all his main points in the book are solid), or he will see extra information in the verses that could not be reasonably inferred from that text. I would hesitantly recommend this book for Christian men who need a reminder of what discipline requires of them, though I would offer some caveats.

[Ethan Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book. Was definitely convicting and a good articulate breakdown of what a man who follows Christ and loves God should be. The author does an outstanding job though of not just falling into a legalistic breakdown of do these steps and you will be a Godly man, but instead tells us that we will stumble and we are not counted righteous based off our own merit. “Moreover, we are not under Law but grace. God is not counting our failures against us, and we are not building a treasury of merit with our successes. We are simply trying to live a disciplined life which pleases our loving Father - and he understands our failures better than we understand our own children’s.” What a comforting quote from the end of this book, grace from God is our only path to salvation, we cannot remove grace due to our failures in the same way we cannot add to it due to our merit. Highly recommend this to any man who wish to please our Father as it sets out clear instruction on what it means to be Godly in purity, marriage, fatherhood, friendship, mind, devotion, prayer, worship, integrity, tongue, work, church, leadership, giving, witness, and ministry.

[Alden Barentine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hughes lays out quite the daunting challenge of living a disciplined Christian life with his 16 specific areas of discipline for the Christian man to live by. Each discipline is backed by Scripture and related to everyday life. I recommend reading the book with a friend or a small group like I did, as having others to go along with you helps keep you motivated. Some chapters are a bit repetitive and some of the examples are outdated, but overall this was a solid book and I would recommend to anyone.

[Joshua Dawsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Kent Hughes does a great job of breaking down what it looks like to be a Godly Man and how men can apply these disciplines to our lives. He constantly references scripture throughout the book, to provide examples of men in the Bible living out the disciplines. This book was not only encouraging but also convicting, providing insight on how we tend to approach different situations, people, and God’s word. My main problem with the book was that some of the passages did get a little repetitive but that’s okay because it showed how the disciplines feed into one another. I highly encourage other Christian men to read this book!

[Mason Morrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful, I think a lot of the content felt applicable to Christians on spiritual disciplines in general (male or female), and there were a few times where the writing felt kind of “rahhh guys love being manly and hunting rahahahah” but not nearly as much as I expected, and the book is incredibly biblically-centered.

Overall this book helped emphasize spiritual disciplines to me with a lot of great biblical insight and practical suggestions.

[Cale Fauver · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the most practical books with loads of application and resources for help/encouragement.

[Isaac Montgomery · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is exceptional, practical, and full of gospel-driven insights for men who want to take an honest look at the daily implications of their faith. I plan on returning to this book frequently.

[Carson McCarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible and convicting book! I learned so much while reading it, about myself and what it means to be a man chasing Christ. I would recommend this to any man who desires to be more like Him.

[Regan Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full of great resources. Although I don’t think I agree with everything in the book, would probably recommend to most young Christian men.

[Ty Dahlstrom · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read 50% & listened to 50%.
It was a good book. It has definitely exposed some areas of sin in my heart. Light has shone into the darkest places of which I’m thankful to God. The book could have been more condensed but it was an insightful, practical read.

I will be implementing much of the information provided and I am excited to read some of the recommended readings.

[Matt Burchard · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars (rounding to 3, you’re welcome Mr. Hughes)

It’s good at a glance for sure. There’s lots of little practical things in here to help us walk out our relationship with God. If you’re looking for a primer on disciplines (which here includes both spiritual disciplines and more generalized Christian disciplines) then grab yourself a copy! It’s truly not bad and certainly beneficial in places (and it’s recommended by Piper, so idk what else to say on that).

I’d say my major frustration is with what’s absent from the text. As we know, I love my Christian books with their first chapter about the gospel, and the first chapter here is … not. (To be fair, it’s about discipline, but still). Even though Hughes goes to great lengths to ensure we understand he’s not subscribing to legalism (doing things gets me merit/salvation from God), he lets us know our focus should be discipline (“I will do this because I love God and want to please Him”). And if discipline, as he then describes for *checks notes* 18 chapters, is the way to please God, then I think he’s still missing the point.

Even as I’m realizing I’m walking a thin line here, I want to emphasize that there’s more to pleasing God than just doing stuff that isn’t sin - and that’s what’s missing from this book. There’s no discussion of how God’s saving work in Jesus Christ was a work of reconciliation - relationship! God reconciled us to Himself and has called us to a great ministry of reconciliation! When we practice discipline, we are practicing reconciliation to God and others (Jesus would call these the first and second greatest commandments). Because of the cross, we can love God and walk in right relationship with Him, freely loving others out of an attitude of abundance. And it’s not that this book didn’t allude to that, but it certainly didn’t focus on it.

I think really my point is that it would be so easy to walk away from this book with a great list of action items to do to please God. And that’s not bad (hence, 2.5 stars, not 1). But we’ve lost the story if we forget that God has called us to love Him and to love His creations - other people. For what is discipline if not love manifested? Where this book makes it clear that these disciplines are what it is to love, it shines. That just wasn’t all that often.



Postscript
Ok sorry, thought of two more things.
(1) Man wrote about 18 disciplines but Sabbath wasn’t one of them? Bonkers!
(2) There wasn’t much of underlying connection between the disciplines. Like - some were spiritual, some were practical, some were communal, but that’s not how they were organized? Like it was all just kind of a hodge podge. Bleh, ok I’m done.

Postscript 2
Sorry sorry, one more thing:
A good portion of his illustrations came from movies, tv, and culture, which is definitely fine to do generally. Except(!) if we’re taking a lot of lessons about how to live like Christ from people that don’t, then we’ve missed the point for sure. Definitely a pet peeve of mine - like, don’t show me an example of how to live like Christ from a movie where that character or actor doesn’t actually believe the gospel.

[Grant Chlystun · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve worked slowly through this with my d group this year and it has been such a gift. Hughes has so much wisdom for men that are practical for every season of life. Even the chapters like marriage and fatherhood that are less pertinent for me are still full of so much practical wisdom for today. Where legalism is man-centered, discipline is God-centered and this book felt like a holy kick in the butt. We are the recipients of divine mercy, the greatest grace we could ever know and that propels us to pursue holiness. Everything ultimately comes back to the Gospel and I can’t recommend this book enough for other men.

[Danny Deaubé · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book by Kent Hughes, literally changed my life of prayer and and daily scripture reading. It has been over six months since I began reading this book in a men's bible study group. I have prayed and read daily since I began this study, and I have grown so much closer to God and the Lord Jesus Christ! I recommend this book on discipline to any man who wants to break out from the norm and truly worship God through a consistent prayer life and and a closer understanding of the word of God.

[Austin Ayers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked what Hughes had to say, he had a list of 17 ways we can grow to be more “godly men”. While he puts emphasis in the first and last chapter on not being legalistic I can’t help but feel at times that this checklist often feels like a legalistic way to look at our faith and sanctification. He says that men have a tendency to be more lackadaisical when it comes to church participation, church attendance, the seriousness of their faith, marriage, and parenthood, so there is less of a worry for him about coming off legalistic. From my own personal experience I struggle in my head with balancing legalism and trusting that what Jesus did on the cross is enough for me and feeling guilt and shame for not doing the checklist than the other way around. So at least for me this book felt like a real heavy blow. Although with each chapter I felt convicted, I often also felt like I’m not enough. But what Jesus did on the cross is enough and because of our love for Him we want to be better men and humans.

[Zachary Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

The crisis of undisciplined men in our churches and culture today is unsettling. Speaking from experience, I was not taught the various biblical principles in this book as a boy and even going into manhood, I was very naive to how Scripture calls men to live. I will read this book to my boys. I think you should too. The biggest complaint I see about this book is that it lacks reference to the gospel and many mentions of God's grace in our living.

I would say men are far more given the soft hand of grace in our churches, when in fact, men in our churches (including me) need more calls to be holy, because God is holy. Thinking about what it means to be holy in every aspect of our lives. By God's grace we can.

[Shawn McCool · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book overall. I do think his ideas dragged through most chapters and made them harder to finish. But they were great ideas that challenge me to train myself for godliness! I would’ve given 3 stars, but the last chapter talked about grace, and refuting passivity and legalism. “God is not counting our failures against us, and we are not building a treasury of merit with our successes.” Also, “It is God’s grace that energized us to live out the disciplines of a godly man. There is always more grace.” Thank you, Jesus!

[Hayden Herbert · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is one of the more resourceful and applicable books I have read - it includes multiple book recommendations, application questions, surveys, and song recommendations. Each chapter ends with a personal reflection section with multiple questions to ponder on and consider. It was biblical and full of relatable stories which will stick with me. The theme of this book is discipline for godliness. I will return to this again.