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Bring Yourself: How to Harness the Power of Connection to Negotiate Fearlessly
An empowering guide to redefining negotiation, from an award-winning faculty member at the Wharton School of Business.
Mori Taheripour has taught negotiation to for fifteen years as an award-winning professor at the Wharton School of Business, and an instructor with Goldman Sachs's 10,000 Small Businesses Program. Contrary to the conventional wisdom about what makes a good negotiator--namely, to be aggressive, intimidating, and unemotional--Taheripour has a radically different perspective. What she's found in her classes and in her own deal-making is that the best negotiators are empathetic, curious, and present, and that the essence of bargaining isn't the transaction, but the conversation and the human connection. It's when we bring our whole, authentic selves to the table that we can both advocate for ourselves fearlessly and find creative solutions so everyone wins.
Taheripour has seen the power of this mindset shift firsthand. As an immigrant who arrived in the United States from Iran as a child, she has experienced the impact of cultural expectations on negotiation. In her classes and in her consulting work, her students and clients have seen personal breakthroughs as they face the fears and false narratives that have been holding them back. Taheripour argues that whether we consider ourselves good negotiators or not, we must have the courage to engage, because bargaining is crucial to every aspect of our lives. We negotiate boundaries with our parents and partners, bedtimes with our kids, dog treats with our dogs. We even negotiate with ourselves every time we make a pro/con list or have to weigh a major decision. Negotiation is how we problem solve and how we find our voice.
With eye-opening and empowering stories throughout, Bring Yourself will give readers the confidence to feel comfortable at the table, both in work and in life.
Mori Taheripour has taught negotiation to for fifteen years as an award-winning professor at the Wharton School of Business, and an instructor with Goldman Sachs's 10,000 Small Businesses Program. Contrary to the conventional wisdom about what makes a good negotiator--namely, to be aggressive, intimidating, and unemotional--Taheripour has a radically different perspective. What she's found in her classes and in her own deal-making is that the best negotiators are empathetic, curious, and present, and that the essence of bargaining isn't the transaction, but the conversation and the human connection. It's when we bring our whole, authentic selves to the table that we can both advocate for ourselves fearlessly and find creative solutions so everyone wins.
Taheripour has seen the power of this mindset shift firsthand. As an immigrant who arrived in the United States from Iran as a child, she has experienced the impact of cultural expectations on negotiation. In her classes and in her consulting work, her students and clients have seen personal breakthroughs as they face the fears and false narratives that have been holding them back. Taheripour argues that whether we consider ourselves good negotiators or not, we must have the courage to engage, because bargaining is crucial to every aspect of our lives. We negotiate boundaries with our parents and partners, bedtimes with our kids, dog treats with our dogs. We even negotiate with ourselves every time we make a pro/con list or have to weigh a major decision. Negotiation is how we problem solve and how we find our voice.
With eye-opening and empowering stories throughout, Bring Yourself will give readers the confidence to feel comfortable at the table, both in work and in life.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published March 24, 2020
84 people are currently reading
1770 people want to read
About the author
Mori Taheripour
1 book12 followersMori Taheripour is award-winning educator and globally-recognized executive with over fifteen years of experience leading initiatives at the intersection of sports and social change in both the public and private sectors.
She is on the faculty of the Legal Studies and Business Ethics Department at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, where she teaches Negotiations and Dispute Resolution. Repeatedly recognized for her outstanding abilities as a faculty member, Mori is a six-time recipient of awards for excellence in teaching. Mori is a co-founder of the Wharton Sports Business Initiative (WSBI), a resource for business leaders, faculty and students that generates research and provides expertise through educational programs, high-level student consulting assignments, and global forums.
In addition to teaching at the Wharton School, Mori serves as a cross-sector consultant for a diverse client base that includes major sports leagues, Fortune 100 companies, universities, and professional associations. Current and past clients include MLB, NBA Players Association, NFL, NFL Players Association, Goldman Sachs Foundation, Entrepreneurs' Organization, The Timberland Company, UPS, USATF, Wasserman, Wells Fargo and the White House Fellows Program
From 2010 to 2014, Mori served as the first-ever Senior Advisor for Sport for Development at the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), the federal agency responsible for all non-military foreign aid and humanitarian assistance. In this role, she was the senior U.S. Government Representative tasked with promoting sport as a unique and powerful tool in the advancement of international development goals.
Mori is a member of the Board of Trustees of the Women’s Sports Foundation, the Advisory Board of Skateistan, and is a founding Advisory Board Member of the Sports Leadership & Administration Undergraduate Degree Program at UMass, Boston. She has been a featured speaker at numerous global conferences, a contributor to sports discussions for Knowledge@Wharton on SiriusXM and was featured in ESPN’s “30 for 30” documentary, Broke.
She earned her MBA from the Wharton School and her BA in psychology and pre-medical studies from Barnard College/Columbia University.
She is on the faculty of the Legal Studies and Business Ethics Department at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, where she teaches Negotiations and Dispute Resolution. Repeatedly recognized for her outstanding abilities as a faculty member, Mori is a six-time recipient of awards for excellence in teaching. Mori is a co-founder of the Wharton Sports Business Initiative (WSBI), a resource for business leaders, faculty and students that generates research and provides expertise through educational programs, high-level student consulting assignments, and global forums.
In addition to teaching at the Wharton School, Mori serves as a cross-sector consultant for a diverse client base that includes major sports leagues, Fortune 100 companies, universities, and professional associations. Current and past clients include MLB, NBA Players Association, NFL, NFL Players Association, Goldman Sachs Foundation, Entrepreneurs' Organization, The Timberland Company, UPS, USATF, Wasserman, Wells Fargo and the White House Fellows Program
From 2010 to 2014, Mori served as the first-ever Senior Advisor for Sport for Development at the United States Agency for International Development (USAID), the federal agency responsible for all non-military foreign aid and humanitarian assistance. In this role, she was the senior U.S. Government Representative tasked with promoting sport as a unique and powerful tool in the advancement of international development goals.
Mori is a member of the Board of Trustees of the Women’s Sports Foundation, the Advisory Board of Skateistan, and is a founding Advisory Board Member of the Sports Leadership & Administration Undergraduate Degree Program at UMass, Boston. She has been a featured speaker at numerous global conferences, a contributor to sports discussions for Knowledge@Wharton on SiriusXM and was featured in ESPN’s “30 for 30” documentary, Broke.
She earned her MBA from the Wharton School and her BA in psychology and pre-medical studies from Barnard College/Columbia University.
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
February 13, 2022
This book on negotiating proves that having a connection (rather than dominance) is the key to both sides getting something valuable. Taheripour, an award-winning professor at the Wharton School of Business, brings expertise and insight to a highly informative book that teaches us a modern way to approach transactions we have with people every day.
This book was an accessible and easy read. The author made the book very welcoming due to her 17 years of teaching. I was surprised to learn that everything in our lives requires some level of negotiation. Whether it’s about kids, work, or relationships, negotiation is about meeting people where they are and finding an outcome that works for both sides. I learned that a good negotiation really boils down to compassion. We should show compassion and authenticity for ourselves and the people we're negotiating with every day.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at: https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/mor...
This book was an accessible and easy read. The author made the book very welcoming due to her 17 years of teaching. I was surprised to learn that everything in our lives requires some level of negotiation. Whether it’s about kids, work, or relationships, negotiation is about meeting people where they are and finding an outcome that works for both sides. I learned that a good negotiation really boils down to compassion. We should show compassion and authenticity for ourselves and the people we're negotiating with every day.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at: https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/mor...
February 5, 2023
Ok - I really like what this person has to say, but this book suffers from what a lot of non-fiction suffers from right now. Too many tangential stories to try to make consistent POVs that are at best distracting and at worst disengaging. But here's the thing. You need to hear what she has to say. I just don't think a book is the right medium for her message. She's one of the premier professors on negotiation, works at Wharton and has taught hundreds of students from different backgrounds.
When this book is at it's best you're hearing stories about how different personality types can be successful negotiators regardless of introversion, confidence, enthusiasm, pushiness etc. She really tears down the stereotypes of negotiation and I LOVE her expertise.
So instead of this book I'd recommend going to her website and checking out the media section to hear her speak either on podcasts or in lectures. Definitely worth the time.
When this book is at it's best you're hearing stories about how different personality types can be successful negotiators regardless of introversion, confidence, enthusiasm, pushiness etc. She really tears down the stereotypes of negotiation and I LOVE her expertise.
So instead of this book I'd recommend going to her website and checking out the media section to hear her speak either on podcasts or in lectures. Definitely worth the time.
May 13, 2020
I really enjoyed this book. Some of the advice I found most relevant for me on negotiating included:
*Negotiation is about human connection, which means empathy, curiosity and an open mind are all fundamental,
*How we frame a story and what story we tell ourselves or choose to believe matters immensely.
*Don't let old scars define us.
*Being too much of a pleaser can backfire beyond in the obvious ways.
*Authenticity resonates.
I found her insights on negotiating - which we do throughout life, not just on the job - enhanced by her personal stories, from pressure from her parents (Iranian immigrants) to pursue medicine to the story she believed when diagnosed with MS.
*Negotiation is about human connection, which means empathy, curiosity and an open mind are all fundamental,
*How we frame a story and what story we tell ourselves or choose to believe matters immensely.
*Don't let old scars define us.
*Being too much of a pleaser can backfire beyond in the obvious ways.
*Authenticity resonates.
I found her insights on negotiating - which we do throughout life, not just on the job - enhanced by her personal stories, from pressure from her parents (Iranian immigrants) to pursue medicine to the story she believed when diagnosed with MS.
September 24, 2020
I really enjoyed this book, the lessons and examples are focused on staying true to yourself, so that by the end of the negotiation you feel like it was really your voice that got through, regardless of the outcome.
May 26, 2024
A thoughtful examination of the art of negotiation, centering on the effectiveness of empathy, connection, and kindness to support collaboration instead of conflict. Filled with great, practical advice that is supported by anecdotes and case studies and feels immediately relevant to both work and personal life. Refreshing to think through how the typical “alpha” style negotiator is not the only or the best tactic.
August 25, 2024
Een goed boek over hoe je kunt onderhandelen kunt leren zien als een gesprek in plaats van een strijd. Niet elkaar een poot proberen uit te draaien maar vinden wat belangrijk is voor allebei. Het heeft me geleerd vragen te stellen over wat een ander wilt, maar ook duidelijker te maken wat voor mij belangrijk is. Het rekent af met het idee van onderhandelen dat je niet het achterste van je tong zou moeten laten zien en dat voelde voor mij wel een beetje als een bevrijding.
December 23, 2020
A must read for anyone who wants to better understand how to negotiate more confidently with others, but most importantly - YOURSELF! Yes, you are constantly in negotiations in your own head. This book will open your eyes to how that is true and how you can become more secure in getting what you want, need, and deserve.
July 28, 2022
This is a wonderful book that I’ve already recommended to a few of my coaching clients. I had the honor to bear the author speak at the SG 10KSB event in DC. I teach a lit of the soft skills she speaks of, but still there were so many ‘a ha’ moments for me in this book. I would highly recommend it for everyone.
October 9, 2024
One of the better negotiation books out there because it is written to resonate with a broader range of people than the usual books that are blatantly written with a Western or male bias. This book introduces the typical negotiation essentials, but it emphasizes the identity and relationship dimensions of negotiation in way that is very helpful and often neglected in these discussions.
April 5, 2021
The most impactful book I've read this year. Reframed the way I approach most things in life. Provides tools to reframe to opportunistic thinking but meet disagreement with compassion to get to understanding. Would recommend to anyone.
January 7, 2023
A great book to improve your negotiation skills full with examples from top leaders but also small entrepreneurs that will show how to make small but meaningful changes not only in your way to do business but in the way of how to approach your life.
February 25, 2023
Honestly, I was reluctant to read this book thinking it was just another negotiation book. I was so wrong!! This is by far the best book I have had on negotiation, including training. A must read for everyone!
June 23, 2023
I LOVED this book. Even though I'm trying to reduce the number of 5-star reviews, this qualifies.
It probably helps that I met Mori at a class she gave, and she blew me away. But this book helped me to slow down and ask more questions - always a good outcome.
It probably helps that I met Mori at a class she gave, and she blew me away. But this book helped me to slow down and ask more questions - always a good outcome.
August 16, 2020
This is an excellent guide to the art of negotiation. It's practical as opposed to theoretical, based on the author's real-life experience and her teaching negotiation courses at the university level. It can serve as an introduction/how-to guide for the inexperienced or novice, as well as a refresher/review for a seasoned negotiation practitioner.
Standout: the case studies/stories from her teaching.
Favourite chapter(s): Chapter 7 ("Wherever you are, be there fully"), Chapter 8 ("Assume abundance").
Missing:
A list of recommended books for further reading, although there's mention of some: e.g. "Influence" by Robert Cialdini.
More about stressful bargaining situations: hostage negotiations, labour disputes.
A "cheat sheet" of guiding principles: e.g. "be yourself"; prepare, prepare, prepare; and so on.
Recommended.
Standout: the case studies/stories from her teaching.
Favourite chapter(s): Chapter 7 ("Wherever you are, be there fully"), Chapter 8 ("Assume abundance").
Missing:
A list of recommended books for further reading, although there's mention of some: e.g. "Influence" by Robert Cialdini.
More about stressful bargaining situations: hostage negotiations, labour disputes.
A "cheat sheet" of guiding principles: e.g. "be yourself"; prepare, prepare, prepare; and so on.
Recommended.
Read
November 30, 2021Personally, I like hearing Mori speak better than I do reading this book. But her brilliance shines through here too.
December 5, 2021
Incredible book on negotiation. Unique and powerful perspective on how good negotiation is based on conversation and human connection.
June 8, 2022
Great book from beginning to the end.
September 2, 2022
Put your fear of negotiating to rest. This book highlights why embracing empathy and emotional intelligence can be your best strengths in a negotiation.
Want to read
October 20, 2022Rec: Ilise Benun, Marketing Mentor
February 15, 2025
Easy to read, and wonderful resouces cited. Was the perfect book for wanting to connect on a human level of negotiating. I’d give it 10 stars if I could!
August 24, 2020
I highly recommend this book! This book was extremely enlightening--it explained tactics I use but haven't thought much about, and it gave me further insights as to how I can better prepare for conversations with different types of people. Mori's insights and advice are invaluable for all types of conversations and negotiations -- internal dialogues with yourself, difficult conversations with friends & family, or various types of business discussions. The book is clear, concise, and easy to read. Mori weaves in decades of professional experience, personal stories, and scientific studies. Mori's unique approach to negotiation can be utilized by even the most introverted and reserved individual--she only asks that each person bring their best self to the table and always be present--as she says, "be where your feet are."
December 3, 2024
Love the focus it had in empathy, very refreshing compare to other negotiation books.
August 29, 2023
Our world, now more than ever, needs the power of collaboration and connection. "Bring Yourself: How to Negotiate Fearlessly" teaches how to harness the power of connection, turn conflict into collaboration, and find your voice. In the introduction, author @mtaheripour subheadings include "Negotiation is first and foremost about human connection,""Negotiation requires knowing your worth," "Negotiation is something we do all the time," and "Anyone can be a good negotiator." The author is a faculty member at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania where she teaches Negotiations and Dispute Resolution. She weaves stories from her students and her own experience with data and research into a compelling book about a skill we all need! And she quotes The Office so I immediately liked her. 😉
"In the way that I view negotiation, coming to an agreement with your counterpart is an important step, but it's not the end of the ex-change. Because once you've done the work together to come to a mutual solution, you have-first of all--a doorway to other mutual solutions in the future. You have a relationship, shared equity, and a shared vision. Every conversation thereafter is easier, because there is trust. From this vantage, you can then say, "Let's take a step back. Can we do even better than this deal?" And from there, you get beyond just yes."
"In the way that I view negotiation, coming to an agreement with your counterpart is an important step, but it's not the end of the ex-change. Because once you've done the work together to come to a mutual solution, you have-first of all--a doorway to other mutual solutions in the future. You have a relationship, shared equity, and a shared vision. Every conversation thereafter is easier, because there is trust. From this vantage, you can then say, "Let's take a step back. Can we do even better than this deal?" And from there, you get beyond just yes."
February 9, 2021
I wish this had been my assigned reading back when I took Negotiations in my undergrad. Or that Taheripour was my professor. This is a smart, simple text on negotiating filled with excellent examples from her teaching and life.
January 23, 2020
I was lucky enough to get an advance copy of BRING YOURSELF in order to provide the blurb below.
In an era and industry that chronically lionizes aggression and intimidation, Taheripour reminds us that claiming our power doesn’t require that we take someone else’s away. She isn’t injecting humanity into the business world simply because it’s ethical, but also because it works, making for more fruitful negotiations all around. This book could not have come too soon, and I have no doubt that everyone can benefit from it, especially those who think they have business all figured out.
In an era and industry that chronically lionizes aggression and intimidation, Taheripour reminds us that claiming our power doesn’t require that we take someone else’s away. She isn’t injecting humanity into the business world simply because it’s ethical, but also because it works, making for more fruitful negotiations all around. This book could not have come too soon, and I have no doubt that everyone can benefit from it, especially those who think they have business all figured out.
April 26, 2023
這本書不是工具書，教你如何學會談判，而是更深入以人的個性以及情緒去做探討，讓讀者可以反思自己，並成為一個更好的談判者。
讓我最有收穫的是第二章，探討「討好者」。從小到大我也億直在討好別人，這個個性跟著我到現在，我還記得我今年的新年新希望是學會拒絕別人。而本書有給身為討好者兩種理由拒絕別人。第一是「對某件事說好，可能代表對另一件事情說不。」我們常常以別人為優先，而忘記自己，希望自己也可以時常想到當答應別人一件事情，也可能因此犧牲了其他事情。第二是「確認你答應的理由，是否牽涉到你對個人角色有不切實際的認定。」我也常常答應超出能力範圍的要求，而到最後我也只會埋怨自己或埋怨對方怎麼會提出這種請求，希望我也可以時時刻刻記得自己的能力範圍在哪裡。
讓我最有收穫的是第二章，探討「討好者」。從小到大我也億直在討好別人，這個個性跟著我到現在，我還記得我今年的新年新希望是學會拒絕別人。而本書有給身為討好者兩種理由拒絕別人。第一是「對某件事說好，可能代表對另一件事情說不。」我們常常以別人為優先，而忘記自己，希望自己也可以時常想到當答應別人一件事情，也可能因此犧牲了其他事情。第二是「確認你答應的理由，是否牽涉到你對個人角色有不切實際的認定。」我也常常答應超出能力範圍的要求，而到最後我也只會埋怨自己或埋怨對方怎麼會提出這種請求，希望我也可以時時刻刻記得自己的能力範圍在哪裡。
May 17, 2022
Previsible. Está dirigido a gente complaciente.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews